Episode 21: Five Qualities of Difficult Leaders | 12MinuteLeadership

In this episode, I identify five qualities that make leaders hard to follow, then show practical alternatives that raise trust, engagement, and results. Based on my 17+ years coaching and training leaders and analyzing hundreds of 360 results, there are some clear themes that make leaders "difficult" to follow and some clear actions that can put them back on course. Topics covered in this episode are: 

• micromanagement and delegating for development
• emotional regulation and modeling calm under pressure
• listening with empathy to build loyalty
• consistency, clarity, and stable priorities
• leaning into hard conversations with respect
• recap and a reflection prompt to apply the ideas

Like what you heard on today's episode and want to go deeper? Subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode
You can also pick up my book, Lead Anyone, on Amazon. Then, go to my website to check out ways that we can support your leadership goals
From executive retreats to customized training and coaching, my team of experts will help you level up your leadership and accelerate your results
Go to www.eliseboggs.com for more info. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:02):
Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast,
where in 12 minutes or less,I'll share small things that you
can put into immediate practicethat will make a big difference
in your leadershipeffectiveness.
I'm your host, Elise BoggsMorales, leadership professor,
consultant, and coach.
For the last 17 years, I havehelped thousands of leaders

(00:25):
level up their influence andachieve remarkable results.
If you want to trade compliancefor true commitment and create
your dream team, you are in theright place.
Get ready for a quick hit ofpractical wisdom to increase
your team's engagement, inspiretop performance, and retain your
best talent.
Ready to level up yourinfluence and get better

(00:46):
results?
12 minutes starts now.
Hi everyone, Elise here.
Welcome to episode 21.
In our last episode, we focusedon the skills that leaders can
use to influence difficultpeople on their team.
Today, we're flipping thescript and focusing on the five

(01:07):
qualities of difficult leaders.
It's only fair that we shareboth sides of the story.
So, what makes a leaderdifficult?
It's not just aboutpersonality, it's about
behaviors and patterns thatcreate friction, confusion, and
disengagement in teams.
One of the intentions oftoday's episode is to help you
evaluate your own leadershipeffectiveness in light of these

(01:30):
qualities so that you can payattention to the things that
could be undermining yourinfluence as a leader.
It's also a chance to evaluateyour leadership team to ensure
you are helping people developand grow in the right areas.
So, where did this list comefrom?
I came up with this list basedon my 17 plus years experience
coaching and training leadersand more specifically analyzing

(01:54):
hundreds of leadership 360results for my clients.
I also did some additionalresearch, and the research
confirmed my own livedexperience.
So here we go.
Five qualities of leaders thatare difficult to follow and what
you can do instead.
Quality number one,micromanagement.
Micromanagement is one of thefastest ways to frustrate a

(02:16):
team.
Difficult leaders hover, secondguess, and insist on
controlling every detail.
The impact, it killsinitiative.
People stop thinking creativelybecause they know their leader
will override them.
It slows progress and createsbottlenecks.

Here's the reframe (02:32):
great leaders delegate for
development, not just forefficiency.
Delegation says, I trust you togrow.
It multiplies capacity for boththe leader and the team.
Quality number two, pooremotional regulation.
A difficult leader oftenstruggles to manage their

(02:53):
emotions.
Maybe they're quick to anger,defensive in feedback, or
unpredictable in mood.
The impact?
Teams walk on eggshells.
Innovation shrinks becausepeople are in survival mode,
just trying not to trigger theirleader.
The alternative is emotionalintelligence, self-awareness,
and self-management.

(03:14):
Leaders who can pause beforereacting, regulate stress, and
model calm under pressureactually create a culture of
resilience.

Quality number three (03:22):
lack of listening and empathy.
Another quality of difficultleaders is that they don't
listen, or if they do, theydon't listen with empathy or to
understand and connect with theother person.
They talk over people, dismissinput, or focus only on results.
The impact, team membersdisengage, turnover rises,

(03:46):
innovation gets stifled becausepeople don't feel valued.
The skill to build here islistening for the heart message,
which can sound verytouchy-feely, but what it really
means is listening for themessage or the feeling that the
person is trying to convey,regardless of what their words
may be saying.
As we saw in Alan's story inthe coaching series, when

(04:06):
leaders practice empathy, theydon't just hear concerns, they
build loyalty.
Quality number four,inconsistency.
Difficult leaders areinconsistent.
They change priorities on awhim, communicate poorly, or
play favorites.
One day something iscelebrated, the next it's
criticized.
The impact.
Teams waste energy trying toguess what matters.

(04:28):
Morale drops because peoplefeel like the rules are always
shifting.
The alternative is clarity andconsistency.
Teams thrive when they know thedirection, expectations, and
standards won't change based onmood or preference.
Leaders who provide stabilityfree their people to focus on
execution.
And quality number five,avoidance of hard conversations.

(04:52):
Finally, many difficult leadersavoid conversations, the hard
ones.
They don't address conflict,they ignore underperformance, or
they let toxic behavior slidebecause they don't want to deal
with it.
The impact, problems fester,the culture becomes toxic, high
performers leave because theysee mediocrity being tolerated.

(05:14):
The better path is courageousconversations.
Feedback delivered with clarityand respect builds trust.
Addressing conflict earlyprevents bigger explosions
later.
Leaders who lean in rather thanlook away create healthy,
high-performing teams.
So let's recap.

(05:35):
Five qualities of difficultleaders are micromanagement,
poor emotional regulation, lackof listening and empathy,
inconsistency, and avoidance ofhard conversation.

But here's the good news (05:48):
none of these has to define you.
They're signals, indicators ofwhere leadership skills need to
grow.
And as we've explored in pastepisodes, the antidotes are
already in your toolkit.
Delegation, emotionalintelligence, customized
communication, clarity andconsistency, and courageous

(06:10):
conversations.
When practiced intentionally,these skills can transform
leadership from draining toinspiring.
So here's my challenge for you.
Think about one leader you'veworked with who had one of these
qualities.
What was the impact?
And now ask yourself, where doyou need to watch for these

(06:31):
tendencies in your ownleadership?
Difficult doesn't have to bepermanent.
Once we're aware, we can grow.
We're all growing.
So, I hope you enjoyed today'sshort but sweet episode.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with another
leader.
I'll see you next time.
Like what you heard on today'sepisode and want to go deeper?

(06:56):
Subscribe to this podcast soyou never miss an episode.
You can also pick up my book,Lead Anyone, on Amazon.
Then, go to my website to checkout ways that we can support
your leadership goals.
From executive retreats tocustomized training and
coaching, my team of expertswill help you level up your
leadership and accelerate yourresults.

(07:18):
Go to www.eliseboggs.com formore info.