Episode 5: How YOU Can Lead Anyone Part 4 - Honing Your Powerful Influencing Skills | 12MinuteLeadership

Have you ever wondered why some leaders effortlessly gain buy-in while others struggle despite having superior technical skills? The answer lies in genuine influence—the ability to create chemistry and connection by understanding what truly matters to others.

This episode reveals how lasting influence begins with shifting focus from yourself to the people you want to engage. Through two compelling stories, you'll discover how this principle works in practice. First, hear how a young server with zero experience landed a coveted restaurant job and earned the highest tips by memorizing not just the menu but regular customers' preferences. Then, follow the transformation of Frank, an architectural firm partner who secured a multi-billion dollar healthcare project not because his firm had better technical capabilities, but because he demonstrated genuine understanding of what the client valued.

We break down the key elements of powerful influence: listening deeply to understand others' values, tailoring your message to match those values, and inspiring action through story rather than just strategy. You'll learn the warning signs that your influence skills need improvement and receive practical, step-by-step guidance on how to build your influence muscle. Whether you're leading a team or pitching to clients, these insights will help you create connections that transform compliance into commitment.

What conversation could you transform this week by leading with what others value first? This simple shift in approach doesn't just get your ideas across—it changes the room. The episode closes with a challenge to apply these principles immediately and an invitation to explore the book "Lead Anyone" for deeper insights into building lasting influence that drives remarkable results.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast
where, in 12 minutes or less,I'll share small things that you
can put into immediate practicethat will make a big difference
in your leadershipeffectiveness.
I'm your host, eliseBoggs-Morales leadership
professor, consultant and coach.
For the last 17 years, I havehelped thousands of leaders

(00:25):
level up their influence andachieve remarkable results.
If you want to trade compliancefor true commitment and create
your dream team, you are in theright place.
Get ready for a quick hit ofpractical wisdom to increase
your team's engagement, inspiretop performance and retain your
best talent.
Ready to level up yourinfluence and get better results

(00:47):
.
12 Minutes starts now.
Hi everyone, elise here,welcome to episode five, how you
Can Lead Anyone, part four.
Today's episode is taken fromday 17 of my new book Lead
Anyone and is all about thepower of influence.

(01:08):
In today's terms, that couldmean a lot of different things
and is often short-lived.
Lasting influence that isgenuine and real begins with
understanding what others valueand using that insight to create
connection, trust and momentum.
In my work, I not only helpleaders gain influence with
their team to get incredibleresults.

(01:29):
I also help those same leadersbuild the influence outside
their organizations,specifically when they're
presenting to clients to securework and want to stand out.
What I have found is thatclients not only want proven
competency, but there also hasto be a chemistry In a sea of
equally competent options.

(01:49):
Creating a sense of genuinechemistry can become your
competitive edge that canincrease your influence over
outcomes.
In his classic book how to WinFriends and Influence People
that says you can make morefriends in two months by
becoming interested in otherpeople than you can in two years

(02:10):
by trying to get other peopleinterested in you.
That quote isn't just aboutmaking friends.
It's about building influence,because true influence begins
when we shift the spotlight fromourselves to the people we want
to engage.
I'm going to share two storiesto illustrate the power of
influence.
One is a fun one and the otheris about a client of mine.

(02:34):
I helped secure a multi-billiondollar project.
The fun one first, so manymoons ago, after I graduated
from high school, I was excitedto get into my choice college,
but it came with a hefty pricetag.
So I knew that I would need towork part time to make it work,
and I set my sights on being aserver at a popular restaurant

(02:56):
because I knew I could make goodmoney in tips.
The problem was that I had noexperience and didn't really
have time to work my way up, soI realized I needed to somehow
influence the manager toconsider hiring me as a server.
To start, instead of sellingmyself in the interview or
listing all the reasons I'deventually be a great hire, I

(03:18):
walked into the interview havingmemorized the entire menu,
pricing, upgrade options andeven the history and mission of
the restaurant.
None of the other experiencedservers who were interviewing
did this, so I stood out andended up getting the job on the
spot.
Once I had the job, I beganwriting down and memorizing the
regular customer's preferencesand orders.

(03:40):
Then they began requesting tosit in my section and I ended up
earning the highest tips of anyof the more experienced servers
.
One particular local businessowner tipped me so well that it
ended up paying for all of mybooks for college.
That experience taught mesomething huge If you understand

(04:00):
what other people value and youshow that you're already
aligned with it, doors open.
That job didn't just pay forcollege.
It kickstarted a mindset shift,one I've used ever since in
coaching, presenting and leading.
So what are powerful influencingskills In the world of
emotional intelligence?

(04:21):
Influence isn't about pushingyour ideas.
It's about becoming someonepeople want to follow.
Whether you're leading a team,pitching a new idea to a client
or navigating toughconversations, influence helps
you inspire action.
So what do leaders with stronginfluence do?
Here's a breakdown.
They listen deeply to whattheir people value, they tailor

(04:45):
their message to match thosevalues and they inspire action
through story, not just strategy.
Essentially, leadership isinfluence.
Without it, it's just a title.
So how do you know if you needto level up your influencing
skills?
Here are a few signs youdeliver the same message to

(05:06):
everyone, no matter who they are.
People seem disengaged when youshare new ideas, or you
struggle to defend your visionwhen challenged.
If you've resonated with any ofthese, I'm going to share a
story of a client who resonatedwith all of those, but was
committed to honing his skillsand ended up landing the project

(05:27):
of a lifetime.
My client, frank, is a seniorpartner at an architectural firm
and he came to me for coachingbecause he was preparing for a
career-defining presentation.
His firm was one of twofinalists pitching to design a
major building downtown, amulti-billion dollar project.
Frank's technical skills werevery strong.

(05:48):
His presentation skills well,let's just say people weren't on
the edge of their seats.
Frank had a habit of focusingtoo much on the how, the
technical details, without everanchoring his message in the why
.
He talked at his audience, notwith them.
There was too much at stake forthis potential project, so he

(06:09):
wanted some support.
So here's what we did.
First, we established a clearvision, not for what he wanted,
but for what the client wanted.
Frank reached out to the keydecision makers and asked them
directly what outcomes mattermost to you.
For the first time, he reallylistened.
Second, we found out exactlywho would be in the room on

(06:32):
presentation day and weresearched each person, their
roles, their values, priorities,and then we tailored the
presentation to speak directlyto each of them.
Third, since the project was inhealthcare, I connected Frank
with a friend whose daughter hadspent years in hospitals
fighting cancer.
Frank learned about how smalldesign choices could make huge

(06:55):
emotional impacts on childrenand families.
It shifted his entire approach.
Finally, we practiced A lot.
He shortened his presentationand brought in his team to
co-present, and then he spokeonly to the big picture, the
vision, the human impact, thecollaboration.
When presentation day came, theroom was engaged.

(07:19):
Every eye was on him, everyquestion answered with clarity
and empathy.
Two weeks later the hospitalcalled Frank's firm had won the
bid.
Why?
The hospital director said bothfirms were technically equal,
but Frank's team felt like theteam they'd want to work with.
They understood the vision andthey cared.

(07:41):
That's influence.
So how do you build that kind ofinfluence?
Here's an action step you cantake today.
Think of a decision or idea.
You're trying to move forwardwith something that needs buy-in
from others.
Then get clear on your vision.
What's the outcome?
What's the benefit?
Make a list of who you need toinfluence.
What's the outcome?
What's the benefit?

(08:01):
Make a list of who you need toinfluence.
What do they value?
What are their concerns?
Then customize your message tospeak directly to those things.
Practice with a colleague, getfeedback and adjust.
Then go in and deliver it withconfidence, empathy and
flexibility and afterwardreflect Were people engaged?

(08:25):
What worked, what didn't?
Influence isn't a one and doneskill.
It's a muscle.
The more you use it, the morenatural it becomes.
So, as we wrap up today'sepisode, I want to challenge you
.
What's one conversation, onepresentation, one moment this
week where you can lead withwhat they value?
First, because when you do that, when you truly understand and

(08:48):
communicate in a way thatresonates.
You don't just get your ideasacross, you change the room.
So I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode and series inspired by
my new book Lead Anyone.
Join me next time as I kick offour next series.
See you then Like what youheard on today's episode and

(09:08):
want to go deeper.
Subscribe to this podcast soyou never miss an episode.
You can also pick up my bookLead Anyone on Amazon.
Then go to my website to checkout ways that we can support
your leadership goals.
From executive retreats tocustomized training and coaching
, my team of experts will helpyou level up your leadership and

(09:30):
accelerate your results.
Go to wwweliseboggscom for moreinfo.