March 22, 2024 • 25 mins
How did we get to this point? Mariah is learning to navigate the dating world and I am pulling my hair out trying to navigate it as well. Here are some effective strategies to navigate.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lirec (00:05):
Hey, what's going on you guys.
My name is Lyric, you're Wildand Not Creative.
And it's your girl Mariah.
And this is 15 Minutes with Dad.
This week, we have a brand newepisode for you guys, and you're
going to love it.
We also have a special guest.
Aman is in the house.
Everybody give him a hand clap.
That's my baby.
That's my baby.
Yeah.
So, I was a baby.
(00:28):
Right.
You are my baby, but you're mybigger baby.
so this week we're going to betalking about, we're going to be
talking about Mariah's Lovelife.
We're going to go into, go intodetails and y'all going to learn
a little bit about myperspective on how I feel about
things, which may or may notmatter.
But guess what?
Y'all Mariah's got a boyfrienddoing none of them verbs.
(00:53):
No K I S S I N G all that.
We ain't doing it.
however, however, a part offatherhood is letting your,
watching your kids grow, butproviding an environment where
they can grow, you know, well.
So this is, this is hard for me,but we're going to get into
(01:15):
that.
If you have not liked orsubscribe, make sure you go and
subscribe to this video rightnow, if you're watching this on
YouTube, if you're listening tothis, make sure that you go and
drop a comment, make sure thatyou share this with people that
would, that would, that youwould love to hear this.
Also, when you rate our podcast,People that have not heard about
(01:36):
us or seen us gets to experiencewhat you love so much about this
podcast.
So make sure that you rate thispodcast as well as share it with
people that you would love tohear this.
This podcast is about healing.
It's about fatherhood and it'sabout our relationship.
And when he gets old enough,it's going to be about our
relationship.
(02:03):
We got, we got some things.
I just read, I just, I got asuccession plan.
When you go off into college andyou can't do episodes with me as
much.
Oh, dude, he's gonna beat him.
He's gonna make my, he's gonna,he's gonna be crazy.
He's He's the 2.
0.
No, I'm joking.
Anyways, I'm the better version.
You're the primary you're thetest.
(02:23):
Okay, so Let's get let's getinto this episode.
So mariah, I love so it is knownthat you have a Boyfriend that I
hate I hate air quotes is crazy.
I hate What's
Mariah (02:43):
that a boyfriend like
Lirec (02:44):
I hate saying the words it actually makes me choke.
Oh, I
Mariah (02:48):
have a You A friend, guys.
A little friend.
Lirec (02:51):
Yes, she has a little friend.
what's his name?
Mariah (02:55):
His name's Owen.
Lirec (03:02):
What the heck just happened?
Let me try and say it and see ifit happens.
Owen.
Nope, didn't, didn't.
I don't even know what they callthat.
Somebody gotta, tell me, what isthat?
What was that?
I don't know.
Some ASMR type stuff going on.
(03:25):
I was confused, Lord.
Oh my God, help me.
so you have this little friendnow.
How's that going?
Very
Mariah (03:35):
good.
We're, we just reached twomonths.
Two months.
Hey, let's go.
Yeah.
Lirec (03:44):
yeah, that's it.
That's all you got.
Of course.
He got a little more than whatyou gave, what you gave.
All right, so let's, let's,let's, so what is, what do you
like about Owen?
What is, what is, what makes youabout him?
Mariah (04:04):
I like his, his patience with me, because you know,
sometimes I can be a littlemuch, but like, he doesn't
really.
What is that face i'm listening
Lirec (04:15):
You can make all those Faces, that's my face.
That's mine
Mariah (04:22):
He's very respectful, you know, like and gentle I
don't know like I don't know howto explain that but like he's
not like Extreme He can be soft,you know, like even though like
there's some guys like oh likethat's only for So that's like
for, like, that's not what a guydoes or whatever.
(04:45):
That's not what a man does, butlike, he's gentle.
Like he's able to be soft withme, you know, instead of just
like aggressive and stuff.
How does it make you feel?
It feels very good.
It makes me feel like loved.
It makes me feel like.
Not heard, but like, seen.
(05:09):
I don't know how to explain it.
Like, it makes me feel like, oh,he's able to be soft with me,
you know, like, cause some guysdon't, you know, don't really do
that, but it's like, he's ableto put aside like all that.
Oh, that's not what a man doessort of stuff.
And it's like,
Lirec (05:26):
yeah, just open to learning about you, learning you
and learning how to be with you.
Ah, okay.
Let's compare this to pass,right?
We had an episode prior to thiscalled boys, boys, boys, go back
and watch it.
where we talked about the, theguys that she liked, right.
And she didn't have a preferenceat the time.
(05:48):
And there was a couple that camedown the chain that didn't quite
make that and make it to me.
God and let them make it to me.
But there was a, there was acouple of guys.
Let's compare, like, what is thedifference?
What differences do you see in.
this relationship overall thatyou feel, how do you see
(06:10):
yourself in this relationshipthat's different than the ones
prior, like last year?
Mariah (06:16):
I think right now I'm definitely a lot happier because
I feel like last year I wasprobably like in a bad mental
space and they weren't reallyhelping.
Cause like.
They weren't, they weren'ttalking like, I'm not talking,
but they weren't reallyCommunicating or like letting me
communicate having an opencommunication sort of space.
(06:39):
It's more they would sort ofjust Throw what I feel out of
out of the window.
Lirec (06:46):
Right, right, right.
They didn't validate.
Yeah, it became about them quiteoften Yeah, okay,
Mariah (06:51):
like for it with him.
He lets me communicate like talkabout how I'm feeling and He
actually like We go through awhole flow on like how to like
make it better and stuff likethat.
Yeah.
Lirec (07:06):
Yeah, that's cool.
That's good.
That's good.
Well, let's talk about how Ifeel.
Let's on that note.
Talk about how they flip it.
Let's talk about how I feel.
I'm not happy about this at all.
I'm just going to be honest,straightforward.
I don't like it one bit.
I don't like, I don't like theidea that my daughter, has her
(07:31):
time or her energy being,shifted to, a boy.
But, but, but boy, that's myhonest opinion.
However.
I would throw in the fact that,the guys that she had interest
(07:56):
in before, I had utter rejectionfor because I seen how they were
from a thousand miles away.
right now I have no, I have nolike rebuttals toward Owen.
I actually liked the kid.
Like, I liked the guy he's,he's, let's talk about like,
(08:17):
That's just my honest opinion.
Like, I don't like the fact thatshe's dating.
I, she is of age where I waslike, okay, you can have, you
can have a boyfriend claimingthing going.
And I don't know how to putthese in words, a boyfriend
thing, claiming going thing, butyou have to be like, I.
I have expectations that youwould work through your
(08:40):
relationship with support of anadult, not to go, right.
We had that conversation likebefore it was like, Hey, I'm
gonna sneak around.
I'm gonna find me a guy and thenI'm gonna pop it on my dad and
then expect my dad to just beokay with it.
But, like this, this time, Ithink she finally heard me after
I uttered, like, it, it's, it,If you, if as a, as a kid, as a
(09:05):
teenager, teenagers or kidsdon't really know how to date
adults.
Don't even know how to date.
Let's be honest.
But I know that there's.
There's advice that could comefrom me or come from, any adult
in your life that could helpguide you rather than you trying
to do it by yourself andisolating yourself because
you're trying to hide kind ofnot saying that you did that,
but I still it's easier to, tofall into the woods of poor
(09:27):
relationship, negative mentalhealth stuff.
And when you don't have anyadults to help guide you, or any
responsible adults to help guideyou.
And so this time she triedsomething different.
She.
Use that information and we'vebeen having, we've, her and I
have open communication about itand I'm, you know, Open to the
fact they've gone out on, I shoparound, you know, a date with
(09:53):
him, right?
I did that.
I shop around a date with him,went to go watch the movies and
whatnot.
And, he's a respectable kid.
And I really, I think it makesit easier when the guy that she,
that she chooses to like hasrespect for himself, respect for
family and respect for her.
And I see that and I appreciatethat.
And I can see that I was tellingher, I was telling her the other
(10:15):
day that I see.
Like, I don't know himpersonally, but I see how you
are.
And I watch how you are and howyou change based on this
newfound relationship.
So I am very much, aware.
I try to give her autonomy andspace in that regard and let her
learn, how to be loved and howto learn, how to create whore.
(10:39):
And I think it's the same forhim, right?
Y'all learning to love eachother, learning how to love,
learning how to be in arelationship, learning how to be
loved.
That whole nine yards is.
I think it's, I think it's abeautiful thing.
I definitely
Mariah (10:52):
think that like, talking to you, it actually like, I feel
like it helps me also navigatethrough this like, relationship
as well.
Because before, whenever I washiding it, I feel like that's
when I was in bad relationships.
And like, not, you know, like,not being able to like, me
feeling like, like I was like,oh, I don't want my dad to get
mad, so I didn't tell you like,things.
(11:12):
And I feel like that actuallykind of like, made it, Worst
because I didn't know what to doand then but like now that I'm
able to talk to you about stuffbut not like not like I wasn't
able to talk to you, but nowlike since I feel like Oh, like
I know that you won't get madbecause I feel like since that
we've had multiple conversationsand I feel like Like a lot.
(11:34):
I don't know how to explain it
Lirec (11:36):
Like open to communicate about the things that may come
up in your relationship or maycome up in the time.
Yeah, I see that.
I seen that and I realizedsomewhere in there.
So, and this is a lesson that Ifeel like.
All fathers should know if youhave daughters is that there's
gonna come like You have to knowhow one you have to know how to
(11:58):
communicate what it is You'retrying to say because obviously
everyone knows like okay Daddiesdon't want their girls to get to
give their girls away tosomebody else I had to deal with
some mental health stuff myselfBefore I could actually see that
my daughter is maturing to thepoint where she's interested in
this thing, but she needsguidance in this thing.
(12:20):
And I had to be mentally in aspace to guide her and say,
okay, I see that you are movingin this space.
Let me be a resource rather thansaying that you can't do it.
And that was, I think kind ofopened up more of a flow or a
conversation.
Why are you eating your sister?
Why are you eating your sister?
(12:44):
Is she good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look at the beef is trying toeat people.
Hey dad, hey dad.
There it goes, ah! Okay, thatdidn't, no, okay.
It was a one time thing.
I got a smirk though, that's allI could, like, that's all I
could ask for.
But, I think that, that was,yeah, it was a profound moment,
(13:06):
because I had to realize, like,it's not that you're trying to
be rebellious.
And, it's not that your child,it's not that your teenagers are
trying to be rebellious to you.
It's that they are look, like, Istarted doing some research and
understanding that at your age,you are looking.
At your identity, right?
(13:28):
Your identity is not just aboutwho I think you are, which what
it used to be like.
This is what my dad thinks ofme.
This is who I am.
It became who you think of you.
And then it became what doeseverybody else think of me?
And then a part of your socialconstruct is that like, I got to
be liked.
Like, I need to feel like, be, Ineed, like, somebody, I need to
(13:51):
know that I'm liked outside ofmy dad and myself.
Right.
and it's not like to say, oh,you're a pick me, or you're just
trying to, you know, you're justlike, I need somebody to like
me.
But it's more so of like,understanding what affection is,
what, attraction is what isrelationships, what is love,
(14:12):
like I can talk to you about itin theory, but most of your
experiences has to come fromgoing through it.
And I have to start beingunderstanding of that.
It's not, you're not like, butwe also have a compromise,
right?
Right.
Yeah.
Like it's not, she's not like,Oh, I'm gonna go to my
boyfriend's house and hang out.
Like there's compromises like,you know, You know, there's
(14:33):
there's things that we've talkedabout that we have compromises
on that there's there's no goesright.
And as you get older, some ofthose no goes, you know, as we
have conversations will be nolonger no goes, but it'll be
like, It will have constraintson them rather than no goes kind
of thing.
So, she's, would it be safe tosay that, would it be safe to
(14:59):
say that you, that you kind oftrust that I have your interest
in heart?
Like, I don't remember whatconversation it was, but, and
this is what I talk about in mybook, because it's, it's
important that kids understandthat their parents are looking
(15:21):
out for them.
It's not enough to just say.
It's right.
Do you know, like, what was itthat kind of clicked for you to
say, okay, my dad actually caresabout my wellbeing.
And he understands where I'm at,even though it's hard for him.
What are, what, like, what wasit that kind of clicked for you?
(15:41):
I
Mariah (15:41):
think is whenever you were open to me being in a
relationship.
Like, I, like, I know, like I'llsay, like, I know this is hard
because like, I'm a baby girland so it's like, you know, like
you're, it seems like you'regiving me away.
Not like that, but like, youknow, and, I was like, like, I
(16:02):
felt like, oh, like, even thoughthat, you know, like, I don't
know.
No, go ahead.
Lirec (16:11):
Say it.
Say it.
Mariah (16:14):
Like, even though, like, I, I'm blanking right now.
I have it in my head, but it'sjust not out.
Like, you, yeah, I think it waswhenever you were able to.
Elaborate.
Lirec (16:34):
Elaborate.
You have time.
I can clip it.
I need to.
Mariah (16:37):
You weren't, Cause I know that like me being in a
relationship is like definitelyhard because it's like, oh, like
I'm growing up as well.
No, he's fine.
You wanna hold him?
Yeah, I'll hold him.
I don't even ask you to holdhim.
And I keep taking him away.
Like, Realizing that I'mmaturing, I know that was for
(17:02):
sure like a hard thing, causelike, I'm pretty sure in your
eyes, I'm still a baby.
So it's like, whenever, and likeour open conversations, it
helps, like, it's like, it'slike, oh, like I know you have,
like, my interests, my bestinterests in mind.
Especially cause you've beenthrough this.
(17:23):
So like, I'm literally goingthrough the things that you went
through, Whenever you're my agelike You know,
Lirec (17:33):
yeah.
Yeah.
Can I have can I have the mic?
I got things to say But no, Ithink no that that's that's very
true It's very hard and to befrank.
I'm not open to it, but I haveto get I have to still I have to
(17:57):
be I am I know that, and I talkabout this in my book is that
after, as kids develop, we also,our parents have to develop,
we'll continuously develop overtime.
We have to develop.
So, no, I understand that.
(18:20):
I understand that.
And to kind of, to be frank withyou, I am not 100 percent good
about it, but I, I do understandthat as kids grow, Parents have
to grow also.
I talk about that in the book,but like we have to, we also
have to mature and grow asparents with how our kids are
(18:43):
growing.
Like, it's not, it's one thingto parent you, how we were
parented.
And then it's another thing toparent you, how you need us to
parent you.
and so that bound, that's alwaysa balance.
And I think the conversationthat you and I had that I, that
when I started seeing a changeis when I was like, Hey, I'm not
against you liking someone.
(19:04):
I'm not against you.
Like, I'm not going to tell youthat you cannot like someone,
you know, but I can tell youthat at the time when I find or
see that you have demonstratedmaturity about where,
demonstrated maturity aboutwhere, like, being in a
(19:25):
relationship and all this stuff,like, what shows me that you're
mature is the fact that you willlike someone.
Come through the, the derailsand sit like, you know, inside
of the, the boundaries and say,Dad, I like this person.
I think that, they like me backand I'm interested in seeing
where it leads to, right?
Like, that's a mature thing thattells me that, hey, you are
(19:46):
maturing enough for me to beopen enough for it.
When you were hiding it, thatshowed me immaturity.
Which made me also treat youimmaturely.
Right.
and so it's been a constantthing and as like, because I'm,
I'm not going to beat you forany, like, anything.
Like, that's not for you to likesomebody.
It's all a part of human nature.
(20:07):
There's things that are a partof human nature, but, and I know
that there's a logicalprogression of life that I have
to be mindful of as well asemotional development.
So I say all that to say that Iappreciate you you.
Including me on this journeyrather than me having to
discover it and, and, and kickdown doors to, to, figure out
(20:30):
information, you know?
so it's, it's a, I think back tolike, let's get back to, Mr.
Owen, what does, what does Mr.
Owen like?
What is he interested in?
He's taken by the way, let'sjust be clear.
(20:51):
He is taken.
Mariah (20:52):
Yeah.
He's taken.
how to make sure they knew, youknow, what does he like?
He likes working out.
He likes like family time,hanging out with his family.
me, of course.
(21:15):
what else he likes playing thetrumpet?
see what else he likes going tostores with his mom.
That's fun.
Just like spending time with hismom.
Yeah, that's fun.
Lirec (21:29):
Yeah.
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
What do you, so, you say thatyou like that he's patient, that
he's kind, that he's gentle,he's in music like you are.
You have some things in common,that's pretty cool.
Where do you foresee thisrelationship going in the next f
(21:49):
I'm joking.
You don't have to answer that.
You don't have to answer that.
Look, I'm gonna get you out thehot seat.
I'm gonna get you out the hotseat.
I'm gonna go put this kid downfor a nap because as you can
see, he's delirious at thispoint.
But we gonna jump up out ofhere.
I really appreciate you guysjoining us this week.
Hey, Dad.
(22:10):
Aww.
Mariah (22:19):
I think he just likes filling hair.
Lirec (22:26):
Not in his face, though.
I don't know.
Can you go break up upstairsreal quick?
He ain't gonna make it to theend of the episode.
Hey, what's going on you guys.
My name is Lyric, you're Wildand Not Creative.
And it's your girl Mariah.
And this is 15 Minutes with Dad.
This week, we have a brand newepisode for you guys, and you're
going to love it.
We also have a special guest.
Aman is in the house.
Everybody give him a hand clap.
That's my baby.
That's my baby.
Yeah.
So, I was a baby.
(00:28):
Right.
You are my baby, but you're mybigger baby.
so this week we're going to betalking about, we're going to be
talking about Mariah's Lovelife.
We're going to go into, go intodetails and y'all going to learn
a little bit about myperspective on how I feel about
things, which may or may notmatter.
But guess what?
Y'all Mariah's got a boyfrienddoing none of them verbs.
(00:53):
No K I S S I N G all that.
We ain't doing it.
however, however, a part offatherhood is letting your,
watching your kids grow, butproviding an environment where
they can grow, you know, well.
So this is, this is hard for me,but we're going to get into
(01:15):
that.
If you have not liked orsubscribe, make sure you go and
subscribe to this video rightnow, if you're watching this on
YouTube, if you're listening tothis, make sure that you go and
drop a comment, make sure thatyou share this with people that
would, that would, that youwould love to hear this.
Also, when you rate our podcast,People that have not heard about
(01:36):
us or seen us gets to experiencewhat you love so much about this
podcast.
So make sure that you rate thispodcast as well as share it with
people that you would love tohear this.
This podcast is about healing.
It's about fatherhood and it'sabout our relationship.
And when he gets old enough,it's going to be about our
relationship.
(02:03):
We got, we got some things.
I just read, I just, I got asuccession plan.
When you go off into college andyou can't do episodes with me as
much.
Oh, dude, he's gonna beat him.
He's gonna make my, he's gonna,he's gonna be crazy.
He's He's the 2.
0.
No, I'm joking.
Anyways, I'm the better version.
You're the primary you're thetest.
(02:23):
Okay, so Let's get let's getinto this episode.
So mariah, I love so it is knownthat you have a Boyfriend that I
hate I hate air quotes is crazy.
I hate What's
Mariah (02:43):
that a boyfriend like
Lirec (02:44):
I hate saying the words it actually makes me choke.
Oh, I
Mariah (02:48):
have a You A friend, guys.
A little friend.
Lirec (02:51):
Yes, she has a little friend.
what's his name?
Mariah (02:55):
His name's Owen.
Lirec (03:02):
What the heck just happened?
Let me try and say it and see ifit happens.
Owen.
Nope, didn't, didn't.
I don't even know what they callthat.
Somebody gotta, tell me, what isthat?
What was that?
I don't know.
Some ASMR type stuff going on.
(03:25):
I was confused, Lord.
Oh my God, help me.
so you have this little friendnow.
How's that going?
Very
Mariah (03:35):
good.
We're, we just reached twomonths.
Two months.
Hey, let's go.
Yeah.
Lirec (03:44):
yeah, that's it.
That's all you got.
Of course.
He got a little more than whatyou gave, what you gave.
All right, so let's, let's,let's, so what is, what do you
like about Owen?
What is, what is, what makes youabout him?
Mariah (04:04):
I like his, his patience with me, because you know,
sometimes I can be a littlemuch, but like, he doesn't
really.
What is that face i'm listening
Lirec (04:15):
You can make all those Faces, that's my face.
That's mine
Mariah (04:22):
He's very respectful, you know, like and gentle I
don't know like I don't know howto explain that but like he's
not like Extreme He can be soft,you know, like even though like
there's some guys like oh likethat's only for So that's like
for, like, that's not what a guydoes or whatever.
(04:45):
That's not what a man does, butlike, he's gentle.
Like he's able to be soft withme, you know, instead of just
like aggressive and stuff.
How does it make you feel?
It feels very good.
It makes me feel like loved.
It makes me feel like.
Not heard, but like, seen.
(05:09):
I don't know how to explain it.
Like, it makes me feel like, oh,he's able to be soft with me,
you know, like, cause some guysdon't, you know, don't really do
that, but it's like, he's ableto put aside like all that.
Oh, that's not what a man doessort of stuff.
And it's like,
Lirec (05:26):
yeah, just open to learning about you, learning you
and learning how to be with you.
Ah, okay.
Let's compare this to pass,right?
We had an episode prior to thiscalled boys, boys, boys, go back
and watch it.
where we talked about the, theguys that she liked, right.
And she didn't have a preferenceat the time.
(05:48):
And there was a couple that camedown the chain that didn't quite
make that and make it to me.
God and let them make it to me.
But there was a, there was acouple of guys.
Let's compare, like, what is thedifference?
What differences do you see in.
this relationship overall thatyou feel, how do you see
(06:10):
yourself in this relationshipthat's different than the ones
prior, like last year?
Mariah (06:16):
I think right now I'm definitely a lot happier because
I feel like last year I wasprobably like in a bad mental
space and they weren't reallyhelping.
Cause like.
They weren't, they weren'ttalking like, I'm not talking,
but they weren't reallyCommunicating or like letting me
communicate having an opencommunication sort of space.
(06:39):
It's more they would sort ofjust Throw what I feel out of
out of the window.
Lirec (06:46):
Right, right, right.
They didn't validate.
Yeah, it became about them quiteoften Yeah, okay,
Mariah (06:51):
like for it with him.
He lets me communicate like talkabout how I'm feeling and He
actually like We go through awhole flow on like how to like
make it better and stuff likethat.
Yeah.
Lirec (07:06):
Yeah, that's cool.
That's good.
That's good.
Well, let's talk about how Ifeel.
Let's on that note.
Talk about how they flip it.
Let's talk about how I feel.
I'm not happy about this at all.
I'm just going to be honest,straightforward.
I don't like it one bit.
I don't like, I don't like theidea that my daughter, has her
(07:31):
time or her energy being,shifted to, a boy.
But, but, but boy, that's myhonest opinion.
However.
I would throw in the fact that,the guys that she had interest
(07:56):
in before, I had utter rejectionfor because I seen how they were
from a thousand miles away.
right now I have no, I have nolike rebuttals toward Owen.
I actually liked the kid.
Like, I liked the guy he's,he's, let's talk about like,
(08:17):
That's just my honest opinion.
Like, I don't like the fact thatshe's dating.
I, she is of age where I waslike, okay, you can have, you
can have a boyfriend claimingthing going.
And I don't know how to putthese in words, a boyfriend
thing, claiming going thing, butyou have to be like, I.
I have expectations that youwould work through your
(08:40):
relationship with support of anadult, not to go, right.
We had that conversation likebefore it was like, Hey, I'm
gonna sneak around.
I'm gonna find me a guy and thenI'm gonna pop it on my dad and
then expect my dad to just beokay with it.
But, like this, this time, Ithink she finally heard me after
I uttered, like, it, it's, it,If you, if as a, as a kid, as a
(09:05):
teenager, teenagers or kidsdon't really know how to date
adults.
Don't even know how to date.
Let's be honest.
But I know that there's.
There's advice that could comefrom me or come from, any adult
in your life that could helpguide you rather than you trying
to do it by yourself andisolating yourself because
you're trying to hide kind ofnot saying that you did that,
but I still it's easier to, tofall into the woods of poor
(09:27):
relationship, negative mentalhealth stuff.
And when you don't have anyadults to help guide you, or any
responsible adults to help guideyou.
And so this time she triedsomething different.
She.
Use that information and we'vebeen having, we've, her and I
have open communication about itand I'm, you know, Open to the
fact they've gone out on, I shoparound, you know, a date with
(09:53):
him, right?
I did that.
I shop around a date with him,went to go watch the movies and
whatnot.
And, he's a respectable kid.
And I really, I think it makesit easier when the guy that she,
that she chooses to like hasrespect for himself, respect for
family and respect for her.
And I see that and I appreciatethat.
And I can see that I was tellingher, I was telling her the other
(10:15):
day that I see.
Like, I don't know himpersonally, but I see how you
are.
And I watch how you are and howyou change based on this
newfound relationship.
So I am very much, aware.
I try to give her autonomy andspace in that regard and let her
learn, how to be loved and howto learn, how to create whore.
(10:39):
And I think it's the same forhim, right?
Y'all learning to love eachother, learning how to love,
learning how to be in arelationship, learning how to be
loved.
That whole nine yards is.
I think it's, I think it's abeautiful thing.
I definitely
Mariah (10:52):
think that like, talking to you, it actually like, I feel
like it helps me also navigatethrough this like, relationship
as well.
Because before, whenever I washiding it, I feel like that's
when I was in bad relationships.
And like, not, you know, like,not being able to like, me
feeling like, like I was like,oh, I don't want my dad to get
mad, so I didn't tell you like,things.
(11:12):
And I feel like that actuallykind of like, made it, Worst
because I didn't know what to doand then but like now that I'm
able to talk to you about stuffbut not like not like I wasn't
able to talk to you, but nowlike since I feel like Oh, like
I know that you won't get madbecause I feel like since that
we've had multiple conversationsand I feel like Like a lot.
(11:34):
I don't know how to explain it
Lirec (11:36):
Like open to communicate about the things that may come
up in your relationship or maycome up in the time.
Yeah, I see that.
I seen that and I realizedsomewhere in there.
So, and this is a lesson that Ifeel like.
All fathers should know if youhave daughters is that there's
gonna come like You have to knowhow one you have to know how to
(11:58):
communicate what it is You'retrying to say because obviously
everyone knows like okay Daddiesdon't want their girls to get to
give their girls away tosomebody else I had to deal with
some mental health stuff myselfBefore I could actually see that
my daughter is maturing to thepoint where she's interested in
this thing, but she needsguidance in this thing.
(12:20):
And I had to be mentally in aspace to guide her and say,
okay, I see that you are movingin this space.
Let me be a resource rather thansaying that you can't do it.
And that was, I think kind ofopened up more of a flow or a
conversation.
Why are you eating your sister?
Why are you eating your sister?
(12:44):
Is she good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look at the beef is trying toeat people.
Hey dad, hey dad.
There it goes, ah! Okay, thatdidn't, no, okay.
It was a one time thing.
I got a smirk though, that's allI could, like, that's all I
could ask for.
But, I think that, that was,yeah, it was a profound moment,
(13:06):
because I had to realize, like,it's not that you're trying to
be rebellious.
And, it's not that your child,it's not that your teenagers are
trying to be rebellious to you.
It's that they are look, like, Istarted doing some research and
understanding that at your age,you are looking.
At your identity, right?
(13:28):
Your identity is not just aboutwho I think you are, which what
it used to be like.
This is what my dad thinks ofme.
This is who I am.
It became who you think of you.
And then it became what doeseverybody else think of me?
And then a part of your socialconstruct is that like, I got to
be liked.
Like, I need to feel like, be, Ineed, like, somebody, I need to
(13:51):
know that I'm liked outside ofmy dad and myself.
Right.
and it's not like to say, oh,you're a pick me, or you're just
trying to, you know, you're justlike, I need somebody to like
me.
But it's more so of like,understanding what affection is,
what, attraction is what isrelationships, what is love,
(14:12):
like I can talk to you about itin theory, but most of your
experiences has to come fromgoing through it.
And I have to start beingunderstanding of that.
It's not, you're not like, butwe also have a compromise,
right?
Right.
Yeah.
Like it's not, she's not like,Oh, I'm gonna go to my
boyfriend's house and hang out.
Like there's compromises like,you know, You know, there's
(14:33):
there's things that we've talkedabout that we have compromises
on that there's there's no goesright.
And as you get older, some ofthose no goes, you know, as we
have conversations will be nolonger no goes, but it'll be
like, It will have constraintson them rather than no goes kind
of thing.
So, she's, would it be safe tosay that, would it be safe to
(14:59):
say that you, that you kind oftrust that I have your interest
in heart?
Like, I don't remember whatconversation it was, but, and
this is what I talk about in mybook, because it's, it's
important that kids understandthat their parents are looking
(15:21):
out for them.
It's not enough to just say.
It's right.
Do you know, like, what was itthat kind of clicked for you to
say, okay, my dad actually caresabout my wellbeing.
And he understands where I'm at,even though it's hard for him.
What are, what, like, what wasit that kind of clicked for you?
(15:41):
I
Mariah (15:41):
think is whenever you were open to me being in a
relationship.
Like, I, like, I know, like I'llsay, like, I know this is hard
because like, I'm a baby girland so it's like, you know, like
you're, it seems like you'regiving me away.
Not like that, but like, youknow, and, I was like, like, I
(16:02):
felt like, oh, like, even thoughthat, you know, like, I don't
know.
No, go ahead.
Lirec (16:11):
Say it.
Say it.
Mariah (16:14):
Like, even though, like, I, I'm blanking right now.
I have it in my head, but it'sjust not out.
Like, you, yeah, I think it waswhenever you were able to.
Elaborate.
Lirec (16:34):
Elaborate.
You have time.
I can clip it.
I need to.
Mariah (16:37):
You weren't, Cause I know that like me being in a
relationship is like definitelyhard because it's like, oh, like
I'm growing up as well.
No, he's fine.
You wanna hold him?
Yeah, I'll hold him.
I don't even ask you to holdhim.
And I keep taking him away.
Like, Realizing that I'mmaturing, I know that was for
(17:02):
sure like a hard thing, causelike, I'm pretty sure in your
eyes, I'm still a baby.
So it's like, whenever, and likeour open conversations, it
helps, like, it's like, it'slike, oh, like I know you have,
like, my interests, my bestinterests in mind.
Especially cause you've beenthrough this.
(17:23):
So like, I'm literally goingthrough the things that you went
through, Whenever you're my agelike You know,
Lirec (17:33):
yeah.
Yeah.
Can I have can I have the mic?
I got things to say But no, Ithink no that that's that's very
true It's very hard and to befrank.
I'm not open to it, but I haveto get I have to still I have to
(17:57):
be I am I know that, and I talkabout this in my book is that
after, as kids develop, we also,our parents have to develop,
we'll continuously develop overtime.
We have to develop.
So, no, I understand that.
(18:20):
I understand that.
And to kind of, to be frank withyou, I am not 100 percent good
about it, but I, I do understandthat as kids grow, Parents have
to grow also.
I talk about that in the book,but like we have to, we also
have to mature and grow asparents with how our kids are
(18:43):
growing.
Like, it's not, it's one thingto parent you, how we were
parented.
And then it's another thing toparent you, how you need us to
parent you.
and so that bound, that's alwaysa balance.
And I think the conversationthat you and I had that I, that
when I started seeing a changeis when I was like, Hey, I'm not
against you liking someone.
(19:04):
I'm not against you.
Like, I'm not going to tell youthat you cannot like someone,
you know, but I can tell youthat at the time when I find or
see that you have demonstratedmaturity about where,
demonstrated maturity aboutwhere, like, being in a
(19:25):
relationship and all this stuff,like, what shows me that you're
mature is the fact that you willlike someone.
Come through the, the derailsand sit like, you know, inside
of the, the boundaries and say,Dad, I like this person.
I think that, they like me backand I'm interested in seeing
where it leads to, right?
Like, that's a mature thing thattells me that, hey, you are
(19:46):
maturing enough for me to beopen enough for it.
When you were hiding it, thatshowed me immaturity.
Which made me also treat youimmaturely.
Right.
and so it's been a constantthing and as like, because I'm,
I'm not going to beat you forany, like, anything.
Like, that's not for you to likesomebody.
It's all a part of human nature.
(20:07):
There's things that are a partof human nature, but, and I know
that there's a logicalprogression of life that I have
to be mindful of as well asemotional development.
So I say all that to say that Iappreciate you you.
Including me on this journeyrather than me having to
discover it and, and, and kickdown doors to, to, figure out
(20:30):
information, you know?
so it's, it's a, I think back tolike, let's get back to, Mr.
Owen, what does, what does Mr.
Owen like?
What is he interested in?
He's taken by the way, let'sjust be clear.
(20:51):
He is taken.
Mariah (20:52):
Yeah.
He's taken.
how to make sure they knew, youknow, what does he like?
He likes working out.
He likes like family time,hanging out with his family.
me, of course.
(21:15):
what else he likes playing thetrumpet?
see what else he likes going tostores with his mom.
That's fun.
Just like spending time with hismom.
Yeah, that's fun.
Lirec (21:29):
Yeah.
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
What do you, so, you say thatyou like that he's patient, that
he's kind, that he's gentle,he's in music like you are.
You have some things in common,that's pretty cool.
Where do you foresee thisrelationship going in the next f
(21:49):
I'm joking.
You don't have to answer that.
You don't have to answer that.
Look, I'm gonna get you out thehot seat.
I'm gonna get you out the hotseat.
I'm gonna go put this kid downfor a nap because as you can
see, he's delirious at thispoint.
But we gonna jump up out ofhere.
I really appreciate you guysjoining us this week.
Hey, Dad.
(22:10):
Aww.
Mariah (22:19):
I think he just likes filling hair.
Lirec (22:26):
Not in his face, though.
I don't know.
Can you go break up upstairsreal quick?
He ain't gonna make it to theend of the episode.
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