Episode Transcript
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Lirec (00:00):
Choose your battles.
If you can't solve the moneybattle right now, put some
things in place.
Don't let it disrupt you.
Stay focused.
Choose your battles.
You cannot please the mother ofyour child, but you can show up
for your children, regardlesson how the mother or the mother
(00:23):
of your child or the otherco-parent has perception of you.
A lot of fathers get stuck intrying to prove to the person
that they used to be with thatthey are all that the other
person thought that they weren't.
They're trying to pick up wherethey left off and show and glow
(00:43):
up and show that person I cando what you said I can do.
You left me because it is Watchme, do it.
You left me because it is Watchme, do it.
You're wasting your time.
The person that you're talkingto at that point has already
threw it out the window.
There's nothing that that'sgoing to attribute to but your
child.
That relationship has not beendeveloped and that is your job
(01:10):
to develop.
(01:31):
Welcome to 15 Minutes with Dad,the ultimate resource for
fathers navigating fatherhoodand co-parenting journey.
I am Lyric, your host, andtoday we're diving into some
transformative strategies thatcan help you and your co-parents
communicate better, resolveconflicts effectively and create
nurturing environments for yourchildren.
If you find the topics wediscussed today compelling and
wish to explore them in depth,remember that all these insights
and more can be found in ourebook Seven Key Steps to
Navigating Co-Parenting,communication, conflict and Care
(01:54):
.
You can grab your copy anddiscover additional resources by
visiting our website at15minuteswithdadcom.
Forward slash 18.
This guide is not just acollection of tips, but a
comprehensive manual to help youbecome the co-parent you aspire
to be.
So, whether you're listening athome or on your commute or
(02:16):
anywhere in between, make sureto check out the ebook and start
applying these key strategiestoday.
Now let's get started and diveinto how you can transform your
co-parenting journey for thebetter.
Today, we'll cover someessential techniques that will
not only improve how you talkwith your co-parents, but also
how you listen.
(02:37):
Yeah, I said listen, so let'sget into it.
So there's some strategies forclear, positive and effective
communication.
That's the first step we'regoing to talk about in the art
of communication.
So I think that clear, positiveand effective communication is
a linchpin of successfulco-parenting.
It ensures that both parentsare on the same page regarding
(03:00):
their child's needs andwell-being.
So here are some strategies tofoster this type of
communication, the use of Istatements.
So this is something that Ilearned very early on.
That caused a lot of issues I,I, I, I, I but in this manner,
(03:24):
I'm going to tell you how youcan use it for your betterment.
So focus on expressing your ownfeelings and needs, rather than
attributing intentions orplacing blame on the co-parent.
For example, we could saysomething like I feel concerned
when we don't agree on bedtimeschedules, instead of you're too
(03:46):
lenient with bedtime.
You see, I use you or you don'tdo this enough.
You know that's complaints,right, that doesn't really solve
a problem, but it's like I'mworried that this is going to
happen and my child is going tobe affected by this.
On the other side, right,you're communicating your
(04:06):
feelings.
Another strategy that you canuse is to be specific and direct
.
Ambiguity can lead tomisunderstandings, so you got to
be clear about what you need,why you need it and how it
benefits your child.
Clarity reduces confusion andmakes cooperation easier.
(04:27):
You got to be specific.
Another strategy is to choosethe right time and medium.
You can't always just gogun-hold just because you have a
thought right at the moment andjust going right at the person,
in whatever medium you want to,whether it be in person, just
pulling up on them and yellingat them and screaming at them.
You got to choose the righttime and medium to discuss.
(04:50):
So discuss important matterswhen both of you are least
likely to be stressed anddistracted.
Decide whether a conversation isbest to have over the phone, in
person or via email.
I think email is like a lostart, but it works, considering
the topic's sensitivity.
If things are a lot moresensitive, you probably don't
(05:12):
want to write it down.
You probably don't want to doit via email.
You probably want to have aconversation.
You probably don't want to doit over the phone if it's going
to cause some disruption to theother person.
Meet at a public place and havea conversation over food.
Food usually calms everything.
Just meet somewhere or talk ata right time at the right medium
(05:35):
in a way where the conversationcan be best had.
And it's up to you to kind offigure that out.
But you got to take a moment toactually figure that out.
You can't just go gun holepulling up on somebody.
Like I said before, the nextstrategy for clear and positive,
effective communication is topractice positive reinforcement.
(05:56):
I think this is hard for a lotof people to do and this podcast
is not about woman bashing, butI know that coming from that as
a father, coming from an age ofbeing raised by a single mother
, and a lot of these mothersthat are coming up in this day
and age tend to think that theyhave to mother their significant
(06:18):
other, or even mother thefather of their child and
practicing positivereinforcement not the mother I'm
sorry, the father of theirchild, but practice positive
reinforcement.
This here is probably the mosteffective way to get a positive
communication and effectivecommunication Acknowledge and
appreciate the effort andstrengths of your co-parent.
(06:42):
Positive reinforcement canencourage more cooperative
behavior and a better co-parent.
Positive reinforcement canencourage more cooperative
behavior and a betterco-parenting atmosphere.
And from the men's side, I am ona part of over 30 to 45
different fatherhood groups thatare out there on Facebook and
what I can tell you for sure isthat there's a lot of complaints
(07:04):
about how bad their mother is,and I know there are bad mothers
out there.
There are bad fathers out there.
But I mostly want to talk abouthow we focus so much on the
negative of the other person,because it benefits to store it
in narrative when we're going tocourt, when it's getting ugly
and battle and litigation andall that stuff.
(07:26):
But when you're talking aboutco-parenting, this is not legal
advice.
This is specifically how to beimpactful to your child
positively by co-parenting,because that person that you're
co-parenting with is going to bein your life for the rest of
your life, so you might as wellmake it a positive experience,
right?
(07:46):
I think it took me a long time.
It took me a long time toreally adjust or grow up, even
to be able to communicate betterwith the mother of my child.
We fought literally about everysingle solitary thing.
We'll call for one thing andfight about a whole other thing,
(08:06):
and I know a lot of you outthere are doing that.
But it took some time to grow,and so what I'm telling you now
is things that I've learned overthe last 15 years of
co-parenting with the mother ofmy daughter, and so I said those
four things for strategies forclear, positive and effective
communication is to use Istatements in a format.
(08:29):
I feel concerned when we don'tagree on bedtime schedules as an
example.
Two be specific and direct.
Leave no room for ambiguity.
You don't have to talk in code.
Talk in specificity.
The next one was choose theright time and medium.
Don't pull up and run up onsomebody whenever you feel like
(08:49):
you should do it, because youhave the thought in your head
it's not going to make adifference, right?
And the last one was practicepositive reinforcements.
Appreciate and acknowledge thestrengths and efforts of your
co-parents.
You don't have to harp on thethings that they do wrong.
They know what they do wrong.
Telling them what they do wrongdoes not get you what you would
like to have, and that'simpacting your child positively.
(09:13):
This co-parenting is not for youonly, it's for your child as
well.
So let's talk about the otherside of the communication part,
and this is active listening andempathy.
This is hard right.
Active listening to somebodythat you no longer want to be
(09:34):
with, that has made you angry toyou or I'm going to have
empathy for your situation.
But it is almost vital tocommunicating and being
impactful to your child is thatyou are actively listening and
showing empathy to yourco-parents.
(09:56):
They're crucial to creating asupportive co-parenting
relationship.
This involves truly hearing whatthe other person is saying and
trying to understand theirperspective, even if you
disagree.
Even if you disagree, activelistening means listening to
(10:17):
understand, not to reply.
It involves paying fullattention.
Reply it involves paying fullattention, nodding and using
phrases like I understand toshow you are engaged.
Repeat back what you've heardto confirm understanding before
responding to your thoughts.
Active listening is difficult.
(10:38):
It's an art form.
It is a practice you have toput in place and you have to try
to do it.
We all have our opinions and,especially when it comes to our
kids, we want our perspective tobe seen and understood.
But if you don't validate yourco-parent's perspective, it's
always going to be a fight.
(11:00):
By saying the words OK, Iunderstand why you would say
that.
Yeah, yeah, I get that.
It makes sense why you wouldsay that?
Because would say that too if Iwas in a situation.
Have I seen it your way?
I get that.
Yeah, for sure, right.
And then you partner that withempathy.
When you try to see things fromyour co-parent's perspective
and try to understand theirfeelings and viewpoints can help
(11:22):
you navigate disagreements moresmoothly and find compromises.
That respects both perspectives.
And when I say that, I meanthat when you validate, you show
that.
Yo, I understand what you'resaying.
I get it, I totally get it.
Yeah, I've done that before too.
I felt that way too, and then,when you go to rebuttal, you can
(11:45):
say, okay, well, here's themiddle ground In order for us to
accommodate your concerns andmy concerns.
How about we find this middleground?
Implementing active listeningand empathy can transform
challenging conversations intoopportunities for connections
and understanding, laying astronger foundation for your
co-parenting relationship.
(12:05):
Challenging conversations intoopportunities for connections
and understanding, laying astronger foundation for your
co-parenting relationship.
So like, let's get into thelast part of effective
communication, and that'sestablishing regular
communication routines.
Communication routines canprevent misunderstandings and
ensure both parents are up todate on their child's life.
Here are some tips to establishthese routines Schedule
(12:28):
check-ins, use a shared calendar, use written summaries if you
need to, and create an emergencyplan.
You got to agree on how tocommunicate in the case of
emergencies.
Knowing how to share emergencyinformation quickly, effectively
in such situations canalleviate stress and ensure your
(12:49):
child's safety and well-being.
By embracing these strategies,tools and approaches,
co-parenting communication canbecome more productive, less
stressful and more rewarding.
The goal is to create a stableand loving environment for your
child, where the focus is ontheir well-being above all.
With clear, positive andeffective communication, active
(13:09):
listening, empathy and regularroutines, you and your co-parent
can navigate the complexitiesof co-parenting with grace and
cooperation.
Now, moving on to our secondmajor point, and it's how we
navigate conflict.
Conflict is absolutelyinevitable.
You're going to always run intoit, but when you handle it
(13:30):
correctly, it can lead togreater understanding and
cooperation.
We're going to discuss somestrategies for approaching
conflicts constructively and howto use disagreement as stepping
stones to a strongerco-parenting relationship.
So what is conflict?
Conflict is essentially astruggle to find balance,
(13:53):
whether it be financial, whetherit be parenting time, legal
battles, all that.
That is all conflict whenyou're co-parenting, when you're
(14:16):
co-parenting.
So the first thing I want totalk about is to recognize the
triggers, recognize the thingsthat trigger you and your
co-parents and call them outright.
Recognizing triggers you'reaware you build awareness around
something.
You can actually make a plan tosolve it.
And most of us, when we endureconflict, a lot of us are
(14:47):
dealing with it in court battlesor dealing with it in needs of
the child that the mother'sconcerns are, and maybe it's
another person in your child'slife, maybe it's a school, maybe
your children are acting up,maybe it's your finances and you
can't take care of yourselfbecause you're spending all your
money on the children that youcreated, or maybe your child
support system has ran youthrough the ringer and you just
can't figure it out.
Recognize those triggers.
(15:07):
I know that all of those aretriggers because I've talked to
many fathers that haveexperienced all of those.
I've experienced some of those,but let's talk about how to
make these situations manageable.
(15:28):
My first thing is specificallygeared around recognizing the
triggers.
The next one minimizes yourproblem by making you choose
your battles.
Your battle isn't always justabout money.
It's about the relationshipwith your children and even if
sometimes you cannot spend money, but showing up is the most
(15:50):
important thing.
Choose your battles, like Isaid, finding non-financial ways
to contribute to yourchildren's lives, such as
dedicating quality time duringthe weekends with them or
offering emotional support.
Choose your battles.
(16:13):
If you can't solve the money,battle right now.
Put some things in place,no-transcript in trying to prove
(16:42):
to the person that they used tobe with, that they are all that
the other person thought thatthey weren't.
They're trying to pick up wherethey left off and show and glow
up and show that person I cando what you said I can do.
You left me because it is.
Watch me do it.
You left me because it is watchme do it.
You're wasting your time.
(17:02):
The person that you're talkingto at that point has already
threw it out the window.
There's nothing that that'sgoing to attribute to but your
child.
That relationship has not beendeveloped and that is your job
to develop and, like I saidbefore in the previous strategy,
(17:22):
to use effective communicationtools.
Active, listen, speaking calmly, focusing on solutions that's
how you manage conflict.
The thing that helped me mostmanage my conflict was focusing
on the solution.
Anytime the mother of mydaughter wanted to bring up how
terrible of a person she think Iam, how crappy of a father she
(17:46):
want to make me out to be, Isimply took that power of her
being able to disrupt me bycalling me out of my name the
whole nine yards by specificallysaying I don't care, you can
say what you want my child.
I'm picking up my child.
She wants to spend time with me.
I want to spend time with her.
We're about to develop thisrelationship.
(18:06):
Are you going to stand in frontof it?
Are you going to sit here and Imean, are you going to get out
the way and so I can go and dothis thing, or are you going to
prohibit me from doing it andwant to sit here and talk trash
about me.
We could do that all day, butat the end of the day, I still
got to be a parent to my child.
It wasn't until I understoodthat did I really become the
(18:29):
father that I want.
Did I start becoming the fatherthat I wanted to be?
This next one is a big one,because a lot of fathers have
pride, but I urge you to seekprofessional help when you need
it, and when I say professionalhelp, I'm specifically talking
about legal, financial mediators.
(18:50):
Like figure out what it is thatyou need to do and what system
you need to have in placeprofessionally to make sure that
you're able to talk in thecourt system the way you need to
.
You need to know how to talklegal.
If you don't know how to talklegal, hire somebody that can
talk legal.
That'll be paramount in the waythat you talk and get the
(19:12):
system to work better in yourfavor.
You got to know the system.
If you're not willing to readthe family law book, get
somebody who does understand thefamily law book and know the
judges.
My next strategy is establish aconflict resolution plan.
This is the thing the Biblethat you both agreed upon.
(19:35):
That are steps for handlingdisputes and a structured
approach to resolving issues.
This might involve settingspecific times to discuss
financial matters, using athird-party mediator for
contentious topics, or agreeingnot to discuss financial
(19:55):
disputes in front of thechildren.
It can range from what time youpick them up, who's picking
them up, what location, fromwhat location, what time.
All that good stuff.
Keep your child's well-being atthe focal point.
That is probably the most vitalpart Above all prioritizing
(20:18):
your child's well-being Despitethe financial and legal
challenges.
Make sure you find a way toensure that the children still
feel loved and supported by bothparents.
That means possibly shieldingthem from conflicts and focusing
on the positive aspect ofco-parenting, but either way,
(20:40):
make sure that you are focusedon the well-being of the child,
because that is what the wholeshebang of co-parenting is about
, right?
So, when it comes to thoseproblems rooted in financial
stress, employ some strategiesof effective communications,
active listening, focusing onsolutions.
(21:02):
Make sure you establish a plan,recognizing your triggers.
Choose your battles.
Those things are meticulousways that you can navigate your
conflict by managing the actualconflict, instead of getting
enthralled in the conflict andyou're acting out of your nature
(21:25):
in order to prove to somebodythat won't be proven to by
choice.
She refuses, or they refuse tolisten because they already
didn't exit out of therelationship.
They don't want anything tocome out of that.
They want to protect their ownsanity, protect their own
(21:46):
relationship with the child, andyou have to do the same thing.
But how do you navigate that?
You have to find a commonground, regardless.
As we continue to explore theseessential strategies for
successful co-parenting, I wantto take a quick moment to remind
you that all the insights we'rediscussing today are detailed
in my ebook Seven Key Steps toNavigating Co-Parenting
(22:09):
Communication, conflict and Care.
If any of the topics we'vecovered so far resonate with you
, or if you're seeking a deeperunderstanding and more
comprehensive tools to enhanceyour co-parenting journey, this
free ebook is for you.
You can find it, along with awealth of other resources, on
our website at15minuteswithdadcom forward
(22:29):
slash 18.
That's 15minuteswithdadcomforward slash 18.
Forward slash 18.
It's designed to guide youstep-by-step through each key
area of co-parenting, frommastering communication to
managing stress, settingboundaries.
Make sure to grab your copy tohave these valuable insights at
your fingertips.
Now let's jump back into ourdiscussion and continue to
(22:51):
uncover more ways you can builda stronger, more harmonious
co-parenting relationship.
Ways you can build a stronger,more harmonious co-parenting
relationship.
Next up, we focus on a crucialaspect of often overlooked
mental health.
Both your mental health andthat of your co-parent play a
pivotal role in how effectivelyyou can parent together.
(23:14):
We'll explore ways to supporteach other's well-being,
ensuring the stress and thepersonal struggles do not spill
over into your parentingresponsibilities to your
children.
Make sure that you arerecognizing and addressing
impact.
When something that couldobviously create a psychological
(23:37):
atmosphere or emotionalsensitive atmosphere at home,
kids may internalize theirparents' stress, leading to
anxiety, behavioral challenges,behavioral changes or academic
difficulties.
Be aware of that potentialimpact and try to mitigate these
(23:58):
risks by fostering open andsupportive communication with
the family.
So that leads me to my firstpoint.
In recognizing that, addressingand addressing the impact, you
want to have open andage-appropriate communication
with your child.
You have to reassure them thatthey're loved and there's a
commitment of emphasizing andchanging the aspect of a
(24:21):
relationship despite all theuncertainties, teaching
resilience through example.
Sometimes you got to solve yourproblem-solving strategies and
efforts to find a new way tonavigate.
You got to model thatperseverance and positive
thinking.
This is not only teaches thechildren valuable life skills
(24:42):
but also reinforces their senseof security and hope.
And I'll say this again you mustseek help, get professional
guidance on how to navigate yourchildren.
And we'll talk about this moreoften than not in this podcast,
because on May 3rd I amreleasing the first episode.
(25:02):
I am dropping the new series,dad's Lighthouse, where I bring
professionals on to talk aboutfamily navigation, child growth,
mental health, mentalempowerment all of that good
stuff.
But it's important that youseek support, consider
counseling for yourself and yourchildren when things heavy
(25:23):
change right.
It's important that you createa stability with your routine.
Try to keep everything frombeing upheaved, even though you
are having problems.
That means mealtime activitiesand bedtimes, making sure that
stays, at least as a sense ofnormalcy and predictability for
(25:43):
your children.
Any crazy disruption can causeyour child to start
internalizing, asking why goingthrough a whole disrupted
experience based on what peoplethat are her caregivers are
going through?
Make sure you dads prioritizeself-care and emotional health.
(26:04):
You can't.
Your capacity of being a fatherand being positive is literally
limited limited to how strongyour self-care practices are and
your resilience and youremotional state.
And the lastly I'll say isfoster optimism and flexibility.
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You want to have some kind ofpositive attitude towards
challenges and embody optimismand adaptability.
You can pass this on to yourchildren in every moment by
simply teaching them to valueflexibility and find happiness
amidst adversity.
Let's move on.
(26:51):
You got to have someco-parenting.
You got to focus on yourco-parenting well-being as well,
right?
So you got to, like I saidbefore, self-care practices.
You want to engage inactivities that replenish your
energy and bring you joy,whether it's a hobby, exercise,
meditation, simply reading abook.
Dedicating time to activitiesthat focus on your well-being is
(27:15):
crucial.
You want to create a supportnetwork.
Women are usually good at thisright.
Women usually have a supportnetwork, but fathers we usually
don't.
So you want to lean on friendsand family strategically and
support groups who understandyour situation.
Sharing your experience andfeelings with others who can
offer empathy and advice can beincredibly therapeutic.
(27:36):
Set this multiple times and I'mgoing to keep on saying it seek
professional help.
You want to make healthylifestyle choices mindfulness
and meditation.
You want to spend time findingpeace and balance in your life.
Finding peace and balance inyour life.
And the next one is settingboundaries.
(27:58):
If you can establish healthyboundaries with your co-parent,
you can prevent resentment andconflict while protecting your
emotional well-being.
Those are strategies forco-parent well-being, mental
health and the ones I saidbefore, like open age,
(28:30):
appropriate communication,teaching resilience through
experience.
The importance of seekingsupport, creating stability with
routine and prioritizingself-care.
Fostering optimism andflexibility is for the children.
Another vital area we will covertoday involves setting
boundaries.
It's about creating clearexpectations and mutual respect.
Setting and respectingboundaries can drastically
reduce co-parenting conflict andhelp both of you feel more
comfortable in your roles asco-parenting.
Now how do we establish healthyboundaries?
(28:53):
The first thing you got to dois define your boundaries
clearly.
You want to identify whatboundaries are necessary for
your well-being and a healthyco-parenting relationship.
Be as specific as you need tobe to get your needs and
expectations met.
(29:15):
Now the next part is that youhave to communicate these
boundaries with respect wetalked about in the first part,
by using I statements to expressyour needs without assigning
blame.
Share your boundaries with yourco-parenting in a clear,
assertive and respectful manner.
(29:35):
Some way that I would do thisis look if you're going to do
that.
If you're going to choose to dothat, then I have, I'm going to
do this, this is what I'm goingto do and, you know, is there a
way that we can find a middleground?
But doing that it makes meconcerned and I feel like I
cannot accomplish the thing thatI want to accomplish for my
(29:58):
child.
So I'm going to say, if you dothat, then I'm going to just do
this, being assertive, clear andbeing respectful.
Part is seeking agreement.
While not all boundaries may bemet with agreement, strive for a
mutual understanding thatrespects each person's needs and
(30:20):
concerns.
Compromise where possible,keeping the children's best
interest at heart.
This is difficult to do formost parents because it's my, my
, my, my.
That's inconvenient, that'sinconvenient.
I need to do this, you need todo this, you need to go further,
you need to do more, becauseI'm already doing this.
There's no middle ground there.
(30:43):
Right and the most, a really bigpart and this is for the child
more than anything to create astable environment for the child
is to implement consistency.
You want to be consistent.
You want to implement yourboundaries consistently.
Show consistency so that youcan uphold your agreed upon
(31:03):
boundaries and respect those setby your co-parents.
Reinforcing a predictable andstable environment is vital for
your children and being able toadjust as needed so as your
children grow and circumstanceschange, be open to revisiting
and adjusting boundaries.
Effective co-parenting requiresflexibility and adaptation, as
(31:26):
every year the child grows pastnine, they become a different
person.
They become a whole differentperson with different needs and
different requirements, and it'simportant that your
co-parenting boundaries are ableto fluctuate with that as well.
If you haven't set boundaries ordon't know what kind of
boundaries, I'll give you a fewkey boundaries communication,
(31:51):
parenting time, financialcontributions, personal space.
You want to make sure youcreate a regular schedule for
communication on how youcommunicate, streamline
communication and keep recordsif you need to.
Parenting time this is holiday,school events, vacations.
Recognizing contributions likewhat is if there's financial
(32:12):
tension, like how do y'alladjust to that, how do you
adjust and how do you addressthat?
And giving each other personalspace, respect each other's
personal space and time,committing not to intrude on
each other's homes, personallife, without prior agreement.
It's almost like a lease y'all,but you have to.
Over time, the positive impactof these boundaries will become
(32:35):
evident.
You'll find clarity andstructure that they provide that
reduce conflicts andmisunderstanding.
So just try it out.
Just try to create some form ofsetting boundaries.
Our fifth area of focus today istalking about creating a
collaborative parenting plan.
This plan isn't just a schedule.
(32:57):
It's a comprehensive agreement,a contract even, that covers
all aspects of your parentingpartnership, from financial
responsibilities todecision-making processes.
A well-crafted parenting plancan be a game changer in
managing expectations andsimplifying co-parenting.
So we're going to talk aboutwhat is in the essence of a
collaborative parenting plan.
(33:19):
It's like a testament on mutualdedication of both parents to
navigate co-parenting withrespect, understanding and
cooperation.
A couple key points identifyyour core values and goals.
Like I always like to startwith identifying the core values
and goals for both parents sothat you can put it out front.
(33:40):
What are my priorities foreducation, health, emotional
well-being, etc.
The next is outline yourparenting time schedule, which
will be a very vital part.
A third part would be todiscuss and allocate
responsibilities by clearlydelineating responsibilities
regarding the children'seducation, healthcare and
(34:00):
extracurricular activities andday-to-day care.
Consider creating adecision-making process for
addressing future changes anddisagreement.
The fourth part would be planfor financial contribution right
, that's talking about financialstuff towards education,
especially extracurricularactivities, expenses on
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different accounts, whateverthat may be, and make sure you
incorporate communicationguidelines.
This is what we talked aboutwhen we talk about setting
boundaries.
This is where you do that, likeagree on how and when
communication regarding thechildren will take place, and
make sure that you include someflexibility for changes to
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happen, because changes willhappen.
Lastly, we tackle the importanceof fostering a positive
environment for your children'sgrowth.
This means nurturing a homelife that supports their
emotional and psychologicaldevelopment, ensuring that,
despite the challenges of aco-parenting, your child feels
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secure and loved.
And this is probably the mostvital part of this conversation,
because we get it wrong a lotwhen I say we.
We get it wrong.
We, as parents, get it wrong alot.
Maintain an open line ofcommunication with your children
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.
Encourage them to express theirfeelings, fears and aspirations
freely.
This communication can benonjudgmental and supportive,
and it helps foster a sense ofsafety and trust.
Incorporate positivereinforcements.
Make sure you celebrate yourchildren's achievements and
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positive behavior with praise.
This encourages them tocontinue those behaviors and
builds their self-esteem.
Another major one is make surethat you're modeling positive
behavior.
You can't be out thereratcheting these streets.
Children learn by example, soby treating each other with
respect and kindness, co-parentsset a standard for behavior
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that their children will emulate.
This includes managingconflicts in healthy ways and
demonstrating resilience in theface of challenges.
Be supportive in co-parentingrelationship.
Find a mutual respect.
This may take time, but findconsistency across household,
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whether it be rules, discipline,routines.
Find that middle ground.
Your child needs stability orthis is where they become
delinquents out there in theworld, because they don't have
the correct guidance, becausetheir parents aren't good
examples.
Get involved with their schooland extracurricular activities,
regardless on your status withthe co-parent.
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Show up to their events, thingsthat they're excited about.
Go, be involved, be overlyinvolved.
Be so involved that the childgets annoyed that you're so
involved, but they're going tofill it as love over time.
Overdo it.
Be there, regardless of whosays what, whatever that looks
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like, just show up.
And there is another episode of15 Minutes with Dad where we
talked about seven key steps tonavigating co-parenting.
If you are excited abouttransforming your co-parenting
experience and want to divedeeper into the strategies we're
discussing today, I encourageyou to check out our free ebook
Seven Key Steps to NavigatingCo-Parenting Communication,
(37:38):
conflict and Care.
It's packed with actionableadvice, detailed guides and the
tools you need to turn conflictinto cooperation and challenges
into opportunities for growth.
Visit our website at15minuteswithdadcom.
Forward slash 18 and get yourcopy today to start building a
more harmonious and supportiveco-parenting relationship.
(38:01):
Don't just co-parent co-parentwith confidence, clarity and
care.
Your journey towards a betterco-parenting dynamic starts now.
Visit 15minuteswithdadcom 4slash 18, to get your free
e-book copy of 7 Key Steps toNavigating Co-Parenting
(38:22):
Communication, conflict and Care.