June 12, 2024 • 44 mins
What if you could navigate the complexities of fatherhood with wisdom and grace, even without older mentors to guide you? Join us on "15 Minutes with Dad" as we kick off our new series "Fatherhood Speaks" with our esteemed guests, Lloyd and Fuego. Fuego, an educator and father of five, shares his transformative experience growing into his role without the benefit of seasoned guidance. Meanwhile, Lloyd, another father of five and a businessman, recounts his journey from becoming a father at 22 to raising a family in Brazil, highlighting the challenges and growth that have shaped his path. Their stories set the stage for a deep, insightful conversation on the profound impact of fatherhood.
Emotional intelligence and conflict resolution take center stage next, with Lloyd and Fuego offering candid insights into handling misunderstandings and miscommunications in relationships. They reveal personal strategies for choosing battles wisely and underscoring the importance of harmony over trivial disputes. As fathers, they also discuss the balancing act between being an impactful parent and a loving partner, sharing the learning curves they've navigated to manage these dual responsibilities effectively. Through real-life examples, they emphasize the power of letting minor issues slide and fostering a nurturing environment at home.
Finally, the episode delves into the intricate dynamics of balancing love, self-care, and career planning. We explore the infinite capacity for love that parenting brings, the importance of mutual respect and collaboration between co-parents, and the challenges of dating as a parent. Lloyd and Fuego stress the necessity of finding equilibrium between dedicating time to children and nurturing romantic relationships. We also discuss the importance of personal space and self-care, illustrating these points with heartfelt anecdotes. Wrapping up, the duo shares invaluable wisdom on cherishing family bonds and leading with love and compassion, painting a comprehensive picture of what it means to be a truly impactful father.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lirec (00:01):
Hey, what's going on, you guys?
My name is Lyric.
I'm the creator of 15 Minuteswith Dad.
This time, we have a new series, fatherhood Speaks, and I have
two brothers with me, lord andFuego, and we're about to go
deep into some topics about thebalancing of being a father,
partner, a provider, all thelabels that men hold.
(00:23):
We're going to talk about theways that we navigate challenges
that we may have, and if youhave not joined or been a part
of the 15 minutes with dadplatform, you can visit
15minuteswithdadcom.
You can also follow us on allsocial media platforms TikTok,
instagram, facebook.
I don't know all the socialmedias, not X, we're not on
there, but you can find us on at15 minutes with dad.
(00:44):
Make sure you follow us andstay tuned on all the different
clips that we're dropping, allthe different new information,
the giveaways that we have, thedifferent events that we're a
part of.
Make sure that you chime in.
We also have a growingcommunity of fathers that we use
on discord.
We're fathers that are goingthrough divorce, father that are
going through navigatingchildhood, toddlers, like all
these different things.
We have a platform where wehave a community conversation
(01:07):
and you can talk directly withfathers, just like yourself or
like myself, and we are in there, live regularly.
If you want to sign up for ournewsletters, make sure that you
go to 15minuteswithdadcom andyou can sign up for newsletters.
And basically, every Mondayyou'll get a Motivational Monday
email.
Every Wednesday you'll get anaction item email that's going
(01:28):
to give you some insights onwhat you can try this week,
whether it be for healing,whether it be for ingrowing your
relationship with your child.
We got you covered.
So make sure that you tap in atall times.
So I want to get started, butthank you all for joining 15
Minutes with Dad.
Thank you guys again forjoining 15 Minutes with Dad.
(02:06):
We are here today with Lloydand we got Fuego with us.
We are going to get into a deeptopic, talking about the
balancing of fatherhood,balancing of being a partner,
balancing of being a provider, anurturer, like all these
different factors that come intothe ultra dynamics of being a
dad.
We're going to get into thattoday, but before we get into
that, let's get into someintroductions.
(02:27):
Fuego, can you go ahead andgive us a nice little
introduction on who you are?
Fuego (02:32):
All right, of course, I'm a father.
I'm an educator for over 20years, I'm a father of five and
I got all the stories, all thestories that young fathers and
even old fathers older fathersit may resonate with them, but
the younger fathers honestly, Iwish I had an old head like
(02:54):
myself when I was younger,because it was just fathers my
age.
We would just bounce storiesoff of one another and then that
was it.
I didn't have an old head toput me up on game, like I try to
do.
Younger fathers.
Lirec (03:08):
Nah, yeah, we appreciate that, definitely appreciate that
, man, and we're going to diveinto that.
I'm very interested to hearthat part of your story because
it seems like you started up asa young father and kind of
learned on your way.
So that's some really, reallyvaluable insights that we're
going to get into.
Lloyd, can you give us an?
Lloyd (03:27):
introduction on who you are, brother.
Oh, yeah, sure, yeah, my name'sLloyd.
I'm here in Columbus, ohio,father of five, married
self-employed businessman.
Also work in marketing for askincare company.
Been doing this for a whileBefore moving to Columbus.
Actually lived overseas inBrazil with the family with the
wife.
Moving to Columbus, actuallylived overseas in Brazil with
the family with the wife.
(03:48):
At the time we moved out therewith three little children,
which is wild and a story in andof itself.
And I agree with Brother Fuegojust about not really having any
examples like older examplesthat we could bounce off, ideas
off of Could have prevented somemistakes and things from
happening.
So I had to learn everythingthe hard way.
Lirec (04:04):
Yeah, and I like that, but I'm still here and I'm
stronger for it.
Facts, facts.
I like that, I like thatdynamic, and I think that that's
going to be a huge part of ourconversation.
Today is the example that wehad in our lives as fathers
versus how we father now.
I always like to compare thetwo, not to make our fathers
look bad, but more so be able tosee what lessons we're learning
(04:27):
, how we implement that into aregular day.
So we are live in there and I'mexcited about it.
Guys, y'all ready to get in?
Fuego (04:35):
Yes, sir.
Lirec (04:36):
All right, let's go.
Let's go, all right.
So the first question that Ihave is when did you become a
father?
When did you become a father,and how did that?
How did not?
How did that story?
That's not a good question.
I always have to word thisright.
But when did you become afather and what was it like?
Not just having a child, butwhen was it that you became a
father an impactful father inyour child's life, versus when
(04:58):
you became, when you were, whenyou found out that you were
having a child?
Either one of you guys can gofirst.
Fuego (05:07):
You can go ahead Lloyd.
Lloyd (05:09):
Okay, yeah, I'll just jump in.
So I first became a father atthe age of 22.
Wife's about three yearsyounger than me, you know, just
found it out, you know, and wemoved from there.
We actually wound up gettingmarried and we've been together
for about 21 years.
Wow, so it's been a minute.
But yeah, I'm really mind-blown.
(05:30):
I don't even know how I'd beable to do it by myself If we
weren't working together.
It would be like it would beextremely difficult.
Lirec (05:37):
Yeah.
Lloyd (05:37):
But yeah to say, a young father figuring things out,
starting a young family andpretty much just figuring
everything out through trial anderror.
Lirec (05:46):
Yeah, I agree with that, yeah that's my experience.
What about you, Fuego?
Fuego (05:54):
So here's the twist.
So I first became a father whenI was 25.
But before then I became afather when I was 25.
But before then I had one, two,yeah, so I had been in three
(06:18):
relationships and threeconsecutive times they lost the
children and just as a humanbeing, in my psyche, I'm
starting like what's wrong withme, like my sperm don't work,
what's going on?
And in hindsight now it wasactually like God, yo bro,
you're not ready for this, justchill.
But I kept pressing and so Ibecame a father at 25.
And, yeah, I haven't stoppedsince, but I do agree with Lloyd
(06:42):
, because I was great parent,terrible partner and now, even
in my 40s, I'm still learningwhat a good woman requires now a
lot of you as a partner, asopposed to some different type
of women I won't, I won't namecall, but and it's just
(07:03):
mind-blowing, it's just mind soyeah, let's dive into that a
little bit.
Lirec (07:07):
I like that segue into the partner part right, like
balancing being a partner and afather, because it's easy.
I know a lot of us, a lot ofmen, that are married and, lloyd
, this is not to you I'm goingto be going back and forth from
married and single.
Right, but not to take shots atanybody.
But there's a lot of men thatare married out there that are
(07:29):
either a good father or a goodpartner.
But that middle ground is achallenge.
Do you have any insights for us, lloyd, on why that could be a
thing and what difficulties orchallenges you may have faced in
that?
Lloyd (07:43):
Yeah, I mean.
All I can do is share myexperience.
I can't act like I'm the expert.
It's just been trial and error,being young and being immature,
saying things that shouldn'thave said, doing things that
shouldn't have been, shouldn'thave done.
The only thing that I can saythat I did right was actually
sticking around and workingthrough the little difficulties
(08:05):
that come up.
Most of us we don't understandbecause we don't have these
examples, Maybe with some of usor most of us, with parents or
grandparents who work things out, who stay married, so we don't
have people to talk to.
How do you get through this?
What do you do when thishappens?
That's pretty much the onlything that I can say that I just
did right was actually stickingthrough there and growing and
(08:27):
maturing instead of running away.
Lirec (08:31):
That's good.
That's a very good point.
What about you Fuego what yougot to say on that topic.
Fuego (08:36):
Well, you know, once you become a father Well, for me,
once I became a father, itdidn't matter any children that
I saw I mean it was going thewrong way Do a U-turn like we
not on my watch.
And so one of the things that Iwill always tell young brothers
listen, I know she looks goodNow, I know she's going when
(09:00):
they look good.
But one of the things is that Ilearned the hard way If you
want to be with a woman, you'vegot to check yourself first to
see if you are emotionallymature, because the number one
thing that I found in arelationship that's required is
are you the?
Lirec (09:19):
consideration.
Fuego (09:20):
Yeah, Are you considerate , Like last night I took my lady
and my son to the movies and myson is he's 13.
He's my youngest son, he's5'11", so he's sitting behind
her and I'm like yo baby, canyou scoot the seat up a little
(09:40):
bit?
And she took it personal she's.
She scooted the seat all theway up.
Now her knees are on a dash andshe's feeling some sort of way
all the way up.
Now her knees are on the dashand she's feeling some sort of
way all the way to the movies.
Lirec (09:48):
The 46 year old me knows, I can just imagine how it
sounds yeah.
Fuego (09:51):
And before she got out, while I let my son get out, I
was like baby, what's wrong?
She was like I have my knees onthe dash all the way here and
my toes hurt and I said, but inmy mind I'm like that was a
simple fix.
Baby, maybe you could have justasked my son, can you scoot
back a little bit?
But to prove her point and toget it across like I was being
(10:13):
the supreme a-hole, asking herto scoot up.
But at 46, I know how to handlethat better than I did at 26.
I would have let a slew of areyou dumb?
But we live and learn.
And so I was just like I'msorry, baby, that shouldn't have
(10:34):
had to happen and it was over.
But these things you learnalong the way.
I didn't know when I was young,I didn't know that a man's job
is to put out fires before theyeven ignite.
Lirec (10:46):
That's a huge thing in manhood, because when you're
responsible for a woman andchildren, yeah, I talk a lot
about this either in my both inmy book and in when I'm talking
to other fathers is that like weset the tone even on other
episodes, like we set the tonefor the entire household Every
time we step foot in it, everytime we communicate to the
(11:08):
function of the household.
If we are upset, everybody elseis going to be upset.
If we, if it seems like we'reupset, everybody else is going
to be upset.
And no, that point that's agood story, man, that being
considerate and understandinglike that you have to mature.
You have to mature emotionallyas you grow throughout life to
really understand how to handledecisions better.
You're probably going to makesome mistakes and that goes back
(11:29):
to Lloyd's point when he wassaying, like yo, I just stuck
around.
I stuck around and made surethat I stayed to work through
all the things that were goingwrong, and so those are some
really, really great lessons formyself.
Man, I am still working throughthose things that you guys have
understood.
I have emotional intelligenceand I have methods to help me
(11:50):
through emotional intelligence,but it sometimes is hard to
experience it and react the waythat you need to react right.
I know that in that situationif she would be like this
happened to me and this and thatI would be like, okay, but you
made the decision to put yourknees on the, to scoot your seat
up.
There was a middle ground thatwe could have stayed at that you
chose not to do, and that's howI have a hard time not teaching
(12:14):
right and because I willexperience something and then
I'll try to find a teachingmoment in it.
And no, everyone's not alwaysavailable to to learn.
I had to.
That's something that I'mlearning as well.
Lloyd (12:26):
There's a disconnect for a lot of us because there's like
a generational breakdown,whereas we don't have the
parents that are married or thegrandparents that are married.
We don't have those people togo to for that advice.
They can say, hey, it's noteven worth it, don't even press
those issues.
So we either have to learn thehard way or we just keep
(12:48):
repeating the same mistake andthen blaming the world.
Lirec (12:49):
Yeah, so what?
What are some?
What are what are two thingsthat you can think of that you
would that happens normally butyou would not pick a fight about
.
You would not even mention it,because I just started learning
that recently.
I was telling my girlfriendthis today I was like I was
upset about something, but Ididn't even mention it because I
was like what's the point?
Like I'm I don't have to fixeverything, but what are some
(13:09):
things like that you would.
That are some fights that youwould be like, yeah, okay, I'm
not gonna pick this.
All right, we talked about it.
She'll adjust later and we'lltalk about it.
Lloyd (13:21):
Loy, I'm talking to you, okay, sure sure.
Just one example, somethingthat will bother me.
Normally just when something'sbeing said about you or that you
said or did something that youdid, what's wrong?
Lirec (13:33):
That's easily put you on the defensive.
That's easily put somebody onthe defensive, for sure.
Lloyd (13:39):
You have to see that bigger picture.
Lirec (13:40):
Oh for sure, Like at all times, and that's I get that.
I get that Because it pictureoh for sure, like at all times,
and that's I get that.
I get that, cause it's easy tolose sight of that in the moment
when you're experiencing thething, but that comes with the
emotional intelligence thatcomes with the consideration of
the other person outside ofyourself.
I'm learning some things, I'mpicking up.
I'm writing this stuff downmentally and in video.
I'm writing it down video andI'll write it down later Before
(14:01):
we go.
What do you got?
What are some things that you,that you'd be like yo.
It's not worth the fight.
I've gone through it, but it'sreally not worth the fight.
Fuego (14:10):
So I'll be honest, man, I'm I'm a little touched, I'm
hard headed, bro, like thingshappen a certain way over and
over again, you would think thatyou would learn.
So I'm piggybacking off of whatLloyd said.
My lady, she's the bee's nest,she's the greatest thing that
(14:31):
happened to me, but she's stillhuman.
And one of the things that shedoes, I'll say A, b and C, but
when she repeats it back, shehas to put extras on it and I'll
be like I didn't say all ofthat.
This is what I said.
After so many times, I'mstarting to you know what?
If it doesn't change the pointof what I was saying, I'll just
leave it alone.
Just leave it alone.
(14:51):
You got it.
But I also learned that I can'teven say that.
I can't even say you got it.
I got to keep that inside.
Lirec (14:59):
It's good that you understand.
I'm glad that you understand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, those,those words, that wording makes
a big difference.
I'm reliving my life as you'retalking, fuego.
It's insane, man, because I'mlike what I just said this.
How did you get I?
I can see myself right ahundred times.
(15:19):
how did you get that out of whatI just said?
I spent these last threeminutes giving you a spill and
then you just completely twistedit and have your.
Oh man, I'm like I'm done, I'mtired of doing that, but no,
that's a great point.
Thank you for mentioning that.
You had something to say, lloyd.
Lloyd (15:36):
Oh, now I'm disagreeing, just an agreement.
Lirec (15:38):
That's good stuff.
When we're talking aboutbalancing that partnerhood and
fatherhood, what do you feel aresome challenges that you face
in regards to that?
What are some challenges thatkind of come up when you're
trying to balance being a fatherimpactful father and an
(15:59):
impactful partner, being afather impactful father and an
impactful partner Anybody?
Fuego (16:06):
yeah, anyone, I could take it.
You want to go first Lloyd?
Lirec (16:09):
Okay, I'll take it.
Lloyd (16:11):
No, I'm just yeah, off the top of the head, I'm just
thinking.
I don't see that as much as achallenge because it's like
we're it's my partner.
We've gone through it together.
Lirec (16:23):
What are some challenges that you've faced in the past?
Lloyd (16:26):
Yeah, just learning.
Just when you had that firstchild and they're innocent,
coming into the world, you lovethem more than anything, and you
first, you then especially ifyou have another child you're
now realizing that you have thisinfinite capacity for love,
that you care for them more thanyou do for yourself or anything
.
And I'm just growing and havinga partner, that you're both
(16:49):
going through this together.
You should be able to see eyeto eye on certain things.
They really, as far as whatI've experienced, we don't
really have any conflicts whenit comes to the parenting and
the relationship.
It's not like some jealousy,you're doing this, you're giving
her too much time.
I'm not really dealing withthat.
So I think it's just being ableto work together even if you're
(17:10):
not in a relationship anymore,having that mutual respect.
I think that it just makes lifeway easier.
Lirec (17:17):
No for sure.
I know that from not I know,but from my, from things that
I've.
So I've, I've had my daughtersince I was 19.
And so every relationship thatI had in my life basically I had
it was like a package.
Basically, I've dated womenwithout kids.
I've dated women with kidsright kids, I've dated women
(17:43):
with kids, right.
And the thing that I found beingmost challenging is trying to
develop a relationship withsomeone that already has kids
and someone that doesn't havekids while you already have a
kid.
That difference, I know that ifit was in sync, right, you're
like, okay, we're figuring thisthing out together.
There's already an agreement.
Right, there's an agreement inplace.
To your point, lloyd, there'san agreement in place.
(18:04):
When you're meeting somebodyand you don't really know them,
you're having to figure out howdo I show this?
How do I give love to thisperson while also giving the
same unchanging or even morelove to my child that I've had
before this person came alongand that's from both sides,
right, not just from father tomother as well Like, how do I've
(18:27):
spent my time giving all mylove to this being, this kid,
this child, and then there'sthis other person that says hey,
I want a piece of it too.
And trying to find that balancewas challenging when I was
younger.
But trying to find that balanceto where I can love someone and
I've gotten it wrong on bothsides.
Like I've gotten it wrong.
There was a point in time wheremy daughter had all my
(18:49):
attention and I didn't care whatI was like.
No, my daughter's going to behere forever.
I got to make sure she's good.
I don't care about my personalrelationship.
I don't care about the lovethat I'm building I relationship
.
I don't care about the lovethat I'm building.
I don't care about this, not inthose words.
But I was negligent in a sense.
And then I've done it wrong onthe other side where I was like
all right, I'm going to pourinto this relationship and pour
into this person.
And then my child startedfeeling neglected and it was at
(19:11):
a point in time in her lifewhere she was really looking at
herself who is she?
And it was my job to reallybuild that into her at that time
.
But I was not.
I was like having a hard timewith the balance.
I've gotten it hella right forthe last like maybe seven years,
but I say that to say that's achallenge that I face, trying to
be a partner and be a father atthe same time, which you will
(19:32):
be.
But I'm just talking about thatbalance, that shift in balance
that happens.
Lloyd (19:37):
If I could say one more thing, I think, like, as far as
the relationship portion, youknow, I mean outside of like
extreme intimacy we don't reallyhold too much back, because I
think the children need to seethat, to see a husband and wife,
to see how you care for eachother and love each other in a
respectful manner.
They need to experience thattoo for them and obviously like
(20:00):
if yeah, if we weren't togetherwith us, having five children
together.
Whoever we date, they need tobe around the same age as us and
also have children, Becauselook man, we have all this
together.
Man, you're going to have todeal with that, right?
Like you said, it's a packagedeal.
Lirec (20:17):
Yeah, now I like that.
Like you said, it's a packagedeal, yeah, and now I like that.
So it seems like, coming fromthe point that I made and what
you just said is vital, and thatbalance is not only necessary
for your child, it's not onlynecessary for your partner, for
that you have balance and theenergy and the love that you
give, but it's even moreimportant that your child is
(20:38):
able to see that you have abalance and that you have a
balance with them and you'realso loving them and they're
seeing that you loving somebodyelse.
They're able to see that andimitate that in the future of
their lives, and that's a verygreat point, very good point.
What about you, fuego?
Fuego (20:55):
So I would add on a challenge between the children
and your partner.
So I would add on a challengebetween the children and your
partner.
But as I've gotten older and Irealized I was a father before,
I was someone's partner, I wasme.
And so add a third part Are youmaking space for you?
Just, I didn't understand whenI was growing up what's this big
(21:16):
deal with a man cave?
But?
Or older guys, they would havea library or a study, but it was
just be, it would just be aspace for them.
The older I get, I find how muchlike this is so vital now,
because as a man, everything's,everything stops with you.
Now, you're the last thingyou're and I know women would
(21:39):
feel the same way now.
But as a man like if you, ifyour household is set up no man,
woman and child, that meanyou're the first line of defense
, you have the last say you justget a lot.
You, everything is pulled onyou.
Even if the woman is dealingwith the children, at some point
she's going to defer to you,and she's, and actually a lot
(22:00):
she's going to defer to you.
You know, sometimes she don'tfeel like making those decisions
.
And I know for myself, betweenmy partner, my children, her
children, silly self, my dogs,my work.
Some days I just like I reallydon't have anything left.
I really don't.
And on some of those days, likeI need to just go in and
(22:21):
retreat, and some days I mightneed 15 minutes, some days I
might need a couple hours.
That wasn't taught.
The thing is, man I had mydaddy was always there, but I
moved.
I'm from Cleveland.
So when I moved from Clevelandto Dayton not having any close
family, move from Cleveland toDayton, not having any close
(22:42):
family yeah, it was just, I wasjust on my own.
But that, that, that piece whereyou can have some time and
space for yourself, is necessarybecause you have to recharge,
because tomorrow they're goingto be right back at it, pulling,
pulling on you for everything.
That's been a balance that I'vehad to learn.
Like now, for the first time inmy life, I'd be like look, not
right now, we've had thisconversation.
(23:03):
I don't have, I don't have itto do right now.
Instead of younger me would belike are you talking to me?
I'm you, see me doing something?
It's just the consideration andthe patience.
The patience has been thenumber one thing, because if you
can model patience for her,then she can model it for the
children and then they can modelit for themselves.
(23:25):
But if you're impatient, oh man, the house is just a mess, you
know because?
everything starts with you, so Ijust need to add that third
piece to it.
For me that's a huge deal.
I like that.
Lirec (23:41):
That triad man, that is a .
For me that's a huge deal.
I like that.
That is that triad man that's.
That is a powerful addition,that balance between making sure
that you're present, makingsure that you are showing up for
yourself, the same way you showup for your partner, same way
you show up for your child.
Should should almost be bloblike a blob.
It should almost should alwaysequal out, though there's the
but, there's that triad thatyou're going to be pulled from.
(24:02):
So you've got to pour intoyourself your kid's going to
require, so you've got to pourinto them and you've got to pour
into your partner in order forthem to feel love and feel
present.
And I wonder if there are anymothers or any women talking
about the same thing, right?
Or is this something that isspecific to fathers?
Is this dynamic specific to men?
(24:23):
And I just threw that question,it was just a random question.
I'm like I wonder if this, thetalk of this, the strength of
this family, is that a us thing?
Is that just our thing that wemust understand and master when
we're talking about thestructure of a family?
Lloyd (24:39):
and that's a real question.
They're talking about thestructure of a family, and
that's a real question.
Fuego (24:42):
They're talking about it too.
Lloyd (24:42):
Yeah, they are, Especially if they're doing most
of the work with the children,plus maintaining everything the
house and all that.
They have to come up with a wayto still be able to build
themselves up.
Lirec (24:54):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's definitely a good point.
So when we talk about so I knowwe talked about partner being a
partner, balancing it out withbeing a father, being a provider
and a nurturer, that is.
I don't think it's dualistic inpoints, but I think that a lot
of folks, a lot of men thataren't fathers, that are trying
(25:15):
to figure out that everyone'stalking about the dating stuff,
like that's everywhere thefreaking Instagram is riddled
with men or guys who are tryingto figure out how to's talking
about the dating stuff.
Like that's everywhere thefreaking Instagram is riddled
with men or guys who trying tofigure out how to be a man to a
woman For fathers, active andimpactful fathers we're put into
a position where we figure itout Right.
So my question is let's talkabout being a provider and a
(25:36):
nurturer and how that plays intothe father in the household,
because I think that a lot ofmen outside of and correct me if
I'm wrong a lot of men that arelike in those dating podcasts
and all that stuff talk about Igot to be a provider.
You know what I'm saying.
If I'm providing, then shegoing to have to do this or she
going to have to come throughlike this, or even a woman is
like no, I want a provider, Iwant this kind of, I want
(25:57):
somebody that's going to come in.
But there's a lot of women thatare in the middle ground,
talking also about thatemotional part, that
consideration of part, thatnurturing part, and not just
nurturing the thought, nurturingthe child, but nurturing your
partner as well.
So let's talk about that.
Let's talk about that part.
Fuego (26:14):
Anybody got any.
You know what, bro?
That's why I said I tell youngmen like, look bro, you got to
be ready, because the demandsthat a woman's going to make
from you, if it's really yourpartner and y'all are really
y'all are really connected likethat, the pressure.
So I have a funny story youguys have all seen the movie
(26:38):
John Q yeah.
Yeah, and his son had the heartcondition.
There's that scene in therewhere his wife they're on the
phone, he's at the hospital andshe just makes something happen,
get it done.
And me and my partners we callthat getting John Q'd, because
only a woman can put that typeof pressure on a man and he's
(26:59):
going to accept it and thenreally go out and try to do
something about it.
And so that's why I tell theyoung boys like yo, you have to
make sure that you're ready,because this is going to be the
most rewarding, most challengingthing that you Well, I won't
say the most, but it's one ofthe most rewarding and
challenging things that you canexperience in this lifetime.
(27:21):
And I know women don't like tohear this, but sometimes I
forget what the comedian said.
He was like guys are so simplethat women get upset at it.
Yeah, he said, we're justsimple in nature.
He gave an example, he said.
He said if there's two guysriding a car and we miss a turn,
oh we just, bro dude, and webust the UE and then we get back
(27:46):
to where it was going.
In some cases, if it's a womanin the car, why would you do
that?
Just depending on the woman.
My point is that nurturing, thenurturing and providing like
it's a juggling act.
But when I say I tell the youngguys to be ready, these are the
things they have to think about.
How do you want to set yourlife up?
One of the things that I knowthat young brothers don't do and
(28:10):
I was one of them they don'tplan.
They don't family plan, likethey just go get a girl, she
gets pregnant.
Now you deal with it.
Now what I know?
There's some people, man,they're doing financial planning
, they're deciding where theywant to live, how they want to
(28:30):
live.
A lot of brothers who look likeyou and I.
I didn't know that.
I don't even think that myparents did it.
They dated, they said, oh, it'stime to get married, and then
they went house hunting.
So I think really having theforesight because if you have
the foresight and plan your lifeout how you want it to be, then
that providing part has takencare of.
I'm going to be doing thisthat's going to bring in these
type of resources to the house.
(28:51):
And then, because the thing isthe money, but it's the time
After a while, you only have somuch time in a day If you put
eight to 10 hours in and worknow, what's left for her and the
children, whereas if you onlyhave to work four or five hours
a day, then you have more timefor your family in totality.
So it's just for me thatplanning part and making sure
(29:14):
that you're ready man is ajuggling act regardless.
Lirec (29:19):
That's a very interesting point.
I very much like the fact thatyou was like that balance with
time and, yeah, you bringing inmoney to the house.
But it's not just money, it'sthe time as well, like a lot of
fathers get into a place wherewe get completely drained in our
relationships and in ourmarriage because everything that
comes, everything that is value, everything that seems like
value from us, that gets valued,is the work that we put in.
(29:43):
I'm in a part of thesefatherhood groups and
everybody's most of the men arecomplaining because they feel
like they're unappreciated.
They feel like they just work.
And when you say, hey, what'sgoing on with your family?
Why is your child like one ofyour child doing this?
When are you doing?
We're asking questions buttheir answers is always
surrounding the fact I can'tbecause I'm working 14 hours,
like I do all this for them.
I work 14 hours of this and Ido 15.
(30:05):
And I'm like that's your fault.
Your child does not care abouthow much money you make unless
you raise your child.
Your child does not innatelycare about how much money you
make.
Right, the person that lovesyou don't care a hundred percent
about how much money you make.
It is important, the stabilityis important, but when it comes
to the memories that you canmake from not working 14, you're
(30:27):
giving your life to a job thatdon't care about you, right, and
your family that's growing,creating memories, and you are a
part of that structure, of thatmemory, of that picture that's
being taken.
You're a part of that and ifyou're at work all the time, you
don't get kudos for that.
You don't get kudos that youwork 14 hour shifts all your
life and you took your kids.
You sent your kids to college.
(30:49):
Now if they get an accolade andthey were like I want to thank
my dad for working 14 hours,like that's all you will get.
But what's really rewarding inlife that I found is the
memories that you are able to goback on and look back on with
your family.
If you gotta, if you need toshift from a 10 hour to a four
hour day, you need to make allthose hard decisions.
(31:11):
It's gonna get them, just gonnaget there, because it's the
goal that matters.
Man, it's a really hard thingto do because I've done it
myself and I worked.
I went from working three jobsand now I work one job and then
I do all this fun stuff on theside, do the fatherhood speaks
and 15 minutes with dad and allthat stuff.
I get to do that on the side,but I still get to spend so much
(31:31):
time with my family and makememories and travel around the
country at times, man, I justhad to throw that spill out
because that is a very powerfulpoint for you that you just put
out there, man.
I love the wisdom.
I love the wisdom.
What you got, lord.
I don't know if I chimed inwith you, man, but I know you
got something you got to say.
Lloyd (31:47):
No, I just really I think what Fuego said was on point
about the planning andunderstanding what you're
actually getting into, becauseif you're just with somebody
because you like the way theylook, when you're not looking
into seeing, like, what kind ofdecisions she makes, how's her
family upbringing, now you're ina whole different situation and
(32:09):
you may wind up not beingappreciated at all and
definitely need to take intoaccount steps, what family
planning steps you need to do tobe able to get to that point
where you can have the freedomand the time to be able to put
in because, yeah, not living anice house, great neighborhood,
all of these things, man, nobodycares.
(32:30):
As crazy as it sounds, man,nobody cares.
Yeah, yeah, you have to put inthat that real work as far as
being there and creating thememories and the things that
really matter.
Lirec (32:42):
That is funny that you say that man that like harping
on that no one cares thing, isinsanely important for men to
accept.
No one cares.
No one cares that you didn'tmake it.
No one cares that you almostmade it.
No one cares that.
No one cares that we cried.
No one cares that we sat Inreality.
The world does not care.
Your family cares cry.
(33:02):
No one cares that we sat Inreality, the world does not care
.
Your family cares.
But in reality, like it's up toyou, up to us, to internally
reflect on that and figure thosethings out, we're going to,
like we create the world thatwe're involved in.
We're hands on creating theworld that we're involved in.
Right, I want to.
I want to harp on somethingthat you said, lloyd.
(33:23):
You said that decision-makingknowing what you're getting
yourself into.
It's very interesting that yousaid that, because the first
thing that comes to mind is thatthere are people making
temporary decisions or makinglong-term decisions in temporary
seasons.
They're making these sleepingwith females unprotected that
(33:43):
they know they probably wouldnever take home, like those.
That's a long-term decisionthat has risk for a temporary
season and not protecting thatlong-term season.
I'm I am half guilty of it theperson I was with.
I was with her for about fouror five years, the mother of my
daughter, but I did make andI'll and I tell my daughter this
(34:04):
, I tell her that you were notplanned, but you were not
prevented either, and so italmost sounds insane that she's
a teenager now so I can havethese conversations.
But I explain when I'm talkingto her about those kinds of
relations and making thosedecisions, like, even though I
didn't plan to have kids at 18and 19 or have kids at 19, have
(34:24):
a child at 19, I also didn'tmake the decisions to not have
kids at 19.
And that was where my jack upis, and that's the kind of like
the lesson that I usually teachyoung folks myself.
But this is some y'all aredropping mad gems.
I just want to say I commendy'all, I appreciate it, I love
this talk.
Y'all dropping some mad gemstoday.
Mad gems, all right, so let'sbook.
(34:44):
Let me see what time we got.
We're at 40 to close out.
Can Can each of you giveRelated to this topic?
Give us Give the dads out therethat are watching this topic.
(35:06):
Give us give the dads out therethat are watching this.
Give them a lesson to take homefrom this talk that they can
implement into their life todayor start implementing into their
life you want to go first.
Fuego (35:14):
Lloyd.
Lloyd (35:16):
Oh sure, yeah, I'll go.
So one, yeah, if I was able togive out some advice to myself
and to others like me on ayounger stage, I definitely
would advise the young fathersout there to value their family,
which includes yourself Right.
To value yourself, your familyand the legacy that you're
building, that you're creatingRight, and that includes
(35:38):
everything, even the even if youhave not gotten to that point
yet where you've createdchildren, then obviously ignore
all of the other stuff out therethat's telling you to just do
random things, to be calculated,to put more work into who
you're actually entertaining anddoing the things that can lead
to creating a child, to valueyourself and to value your
(36:02):
family and to put to alwaysvalue what you're creating in
your legacy so that, even ifbumps occur along the road with
the person that you created thischild with, to value the legacy
that you're creating, so thatwhat you guys are creating is
bigger than whatever argument,whatever little petty things
that come about.
And, as you both spoke onearlier, whether we realize it
(36:25):
or not, we lead the way, and so,if that is the foundation that
you're building, your mate,whoever you're building this
family with, will also take thatlead as well, so that you both
see what you're doing isimportant, it matters.
It's not just something just tothrow away, just to walk away
from.
We're building children here.
We're together for life.
(36:46):
We're going to havegrandchildren.
We're going to be raising thesechildren.
Even when they're grown,they're still going to be coming
to us for advice.
So it's like it's a legacy man,it's not some five minute thing
and that's just what I wouldshare.
Lirec (36:57):
Nah, man, that's great, that's fantastic.
Fuego what you got.
Fuego (37:00):
There's so many lessons.
One of the things is so I go toa doctor and she has a.
She has a quote on the wall.
She's in.
It says if the things that yousaid, things that came out of
your mouth, were written on yourskin, would you still say them?
And and I'll be honest for me,no one, no dude in the street,
has infuriated me like themother of my children.
(37:22):
But I don't have a bond withsomeone in the street like I
have with a woman who I decidedto procreate with.
I have four children with onewoman and my fifth is with
another.
And when I say, my thing is inthis life, you're going to have
regrets, but let's let'smitigate those, because one day,
the things that you said to hermother, the daughter is going
(37:43):
to have regrets, but let'smitigate those, because one day,
the things that you said to hermother, the daughter is going
to hear them, the son is goingto hear them.
And so my thing is let's justbe mindful, because when you
upset with someone saying thingsout of anger, it's just not a
good look.
So for the young guys I wouldsay this I saw a video of
(38:07):
Malcolm Jamal Warner a couple ofweeks ago Actually, my lady
sent it to me and he was sayingthat and for me it goes for
little black girls he wastalking about to little black
boys.
He said, man, you don't reallyhave to.
He said you don't have to whoopand beat on little black boys.
He said, man, you don't reallyhave to say you don't have to
whoop and beat on little blackboys.
He was like it's not necessary.
What you should do is love themso much that when they do
(38:31):
something wrong, thedisappointment in you as a
parent will whoop their headworse than a belt or a slap
could.
And that's the way my childrencan all count on one hand the
amount of weapons that they gotfrom me.
Just, this wasn't my thingbecause I'm the daddy I did more
talking than anything but andthat applies for girls too but
(38:53):
it just it made me think aboutparenting in a whole different
way.
What's that parable?
The carrot or the stick or thestick?
And the crazy thing is, if yougo to anybody who trains dogs,
they'll tell you punishmentdon't work.
So if it works for a dog thathas lesser mental capacity, how
(39:18):
much will it work on a child, amini me that looks like you and
behaves and models everything.
Just, I go back to notconsideration, but compassion.
Compassion would be thecompassion for everyone involved
, from yourself to the children,to the mother, because, let's
be honest, fellas, they got anine month head start on us.
(39:39):
They, man, they've been gettingtheir head bust.
Pregnancy is no fun, you knowwhat I mean, even if she wants
to be pregnant, but imagine it'sa surprise.
And so now all of that.
So I would say the number onething is just compassion for
everybody involved, because whatyou give out is coming back
(39:59):
around, man, and with that themics are dropped.
Lirec (40:03):
Y'all have dropped some mad gems today.
Man, I can't appreciate you guysenough for joining me on this
fatherhood speaks episode.
Guys, fathers, people who arewatching this whether you're
fathers and mothers, we have allthe sorts but for those, for
viewers that are watching this,make sure that you stay
connected with 15 minutes withdad.
(40:25):
Um, you like man, I don't know,you're going to, I'm going to
drop their tags.
If you want to connect withthem on the business tip, uh, as
well as just connecting withthem for advice, uh, I'm going
to.
If y'all are okay with that,I'll put y'all's social media on
tags when I'm promoting thisepisode.
But, wow, patience, compassion,making intentional words,
(40:49):
intentional speaking yeah, y'allreally taught me something
today.
I got to go back and haveanother conversation with my
lady today just so I canimplement these things.
So I really appreciate y'all.
So, guys, thank y'all forjoining 15 Minutes with dad.
Fatherhood speaks father speaksepisode.
You can go and follow us onYouTube and subscribe this video
If you have not yet to get morecontent from us.
(41:13):
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You're going to get some weekly, you're going to get some
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you're going to get to a month.
Every two weeks you'll get anew episode of Fatherhood Speaks
.
So make sure that you time inat 15 minutes with dad on
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(41:36):
that you go and rate thispodcast, rate this episode,
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So I appreciate those that do,those that are chabbing in.
Y'all take care.
Love, peace and chicken grease.
Y'all.
Lloyd Fuego, thank you forjoining me.
Y'all take care.
Fuego (41:57):
Thanks for the invite, bro.
Hey, what's going on, you guys?
My name is Lyric.
I'm the creator of 15 Minuteswith Dad.
This time, we have a new series, fatherhood Speaks, and I have
two brothers with me, lord andFuego, and we're about to go
deep into some topics about thebalancing of being a father,
partner, a provider, all thelabels that men hold.
(00:23):
We're going to talk about theways that we navigate challenges
that we may have, and if youhave not joined or been a part
of the 15 minutes with dadplatform, you can visit
15minuteswithdadcom.
You can also follow us on allsocial media platforms TikTok,
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I don't know all the socialmedias, not X, we're not on
there, but you can find us on at15 minutes with dad.
(00:44):
Make sure you follow us andstay tuned on all the different
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the giveaways that we have, thedifferent events that we're a
part of.
Make sure that you chime in.
We also have a growingcommunity of fathers that we use
on discord.
We're fathers that are goingthrough divorce, father that are
going through navigatingchildhood, toddlers, like all
these different things.
We have a platform where wehave a community conversation
(01:07):
and you can talk directly withfathers, just like yourself or
like myself, and we are in there, live regularly.
If you want to sign up for ournewsletters, make sure that you
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And basically, every Mondayyou'll get a Motivational Monday
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Every Wednesday you'll get anaction item email that's going
(01:28):
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We got you covered.
So make sure that you tap in atall times.
So I want to get started, butthank you all for joining 15
Minutes with Dad.
Thank you guys again forjoining 15 Minutes with Dad.
(02:06):
We are here today with Lloydand we got Fuego with us.
We are going to get into a deeptopic, talking about the
balancing of fatherhood,balancing of being a partner,
balancing of being a provider, anurturer, like all these
different factors that come intothe ultra dynamics of being a
dad.
We're going to get into thattoday, but before we get into
that, let's get into someintroductions.
(02:27):
Fuego, can you go ahead andgive us a nice little
introduction on who you are?
Fuego (02:32):
All right, of course, I'm a father.
I'm an educator for over 20years, I'm a father of five and
I got all the stories, all thestories that young fathers and
even old fathers older fathersit may resonate with them, but
the younger fathers honestly, Iwish I had an old head like
(02:54):
myself when I was younger,because it was just fathers my
age.
We would just bounce storiesoff of one another and then that
was it.
I didn't have an old head toput me up on game, like I try to
do.
Younger fathers.
Lirec (03:08):
Nah, yeah, we appreciate that, definitely appreciate that
, man, and we're going to diveinto that.
I'm very interested to hearthat part of your story because
it seems like you started up asa young father and kind of
learned on your way.
So that's some really, reallyvaluable insights that we're
going to get into.
Lloyd, can you give us an?
Lloyd (03:27):
introduction on who you are, brother.
Oh, yeah, sure, yeah, my name'sLloyd.
I'm here in Columbus, ohio,father of five, married
self-employed businessman.
Also work in marketing for askincare company.
Been doing this for a whileBefore moving to Columbus.
Actually lived overseas inBrazil with the family with the
wife.
Moving to Columbus, actuallylived overseas in Brazil with
the family with the wife.
(03:48):
At the time we moved out therewith three little children,
which is wild and a story in andof itself.
And I agree with Brother Fuegojust about not really having any
examples like older examplesthat we could bounce off, ideas
off of Could have prevented somemistakes and things from
happening.
So I had to learn everythingthe hard way.
Lirec (04:04):
Yeah, and I like that, but I'm still here and I'm
stronger for it.
Facts, facts.
I like that, I like thatdynamic, and I think that that's
going to be a huge part of ourconversation.
Today is the example that wehad in our lives as fathers
versus how we father now.
I always like to compare thetwo, not to make our fathers
look bad, but more so be able tosee what lessons we're learning
(04:27):
, how we implement that into aregular day.
So we are live in there and I'mexcited about it.
Guys, y'all ready to get in?
Fuego (04:35):
Yes, sir.
Lirec (04:36):
All right, let's go.
Let's go, all right.
So the first question that Ihave is when did you become a
father?
When did you become a father,and how did that?
How did not?
How did that story?
That's not a good question.
I always have to word thisright.
But when did you become afather and what was it like?
Not just having a child, butwhen was it that you became a
father an impactful father inyour child's life, versus when
(04:58):
you became, when you were, whenyou found out that you were
having a child?
Either one of you guys can gofirst.
Fuego (05:07):
You can go ahead Lloyd.
Lloyd (05:09):
Okay, yeah, I'll just jump in.
So I first became a father atthe age of 22.
Wife's about three yearsyounger than me, you know, just
found it out, you know, and wemoved from there.
We actually wound up gettingmarried and we've been together
for about 21 years.
Wow, so it's been a minute.
But yeah, I'm really mind-blown.
(05:30):
I don't even know how I'd beable to do it by myself If we
weren't working together.
It would be like it would beextremely difficult.
Lirec (05:37):
Yeah.
Lloyd (05:37):
But yeah to say, a young father figuring things out,
starting a young family andpretty much just figuring
everything out through trial anderror.
Lirec (05:46):
Yeah, I agree with that, yeah that's my experience.
What about you, Fuego?
Fuego (05:54):
So here's the twist.
So I first became a father whenI was 25.
But before then I became afather when I was 25.
But before then I had one, two,yeah, so I had been in three
(06:18):
relationships and threeconsecutive times they lost the
children and just as a humanbeing, in my psyche, I'm
starting like what's wrong withme, like my sperm don't work,
what's going on?
And in hindsight now it wasactually like God, yo bro,
you're not ready for this, justchill.
But I kept pressing and so Ibecame a father at 25.
And, yeah, I haven't stoppedsince, but I do agree with Lloyd
(06:42):
, because I was great parent,terrible partner and now, even
in my 40s, I'm still learningwhat a good woman requires now a
lot of you as a partner, asopposed to some different type
of women I won't, I won't namecall, but and it's just
(07:03):
mind-blowing, it's just mind soyeah, let's dive into that a
little bit.
Lirec (07:07):
I like that segue into the partner part right, like
balancing being a partner and afather, because it's easy.
I know a lot of us, a lot ofmen, that are married and, lloyd
, this is not to you I'm goingto be going back and forth from
married and single.
Right, but not to take shots atanybody.
But there's a lot of men thatare married out there that are
(07:29):
either a good father or a goodpartner.
But that middle ground is achallenge.
Do you have any insights for us, lloyd, on why that could be a
thing and what difficulties orchallenges you may have faced in
that?
Lloyd (07:43):
Yeah, I mean.
All I can do is share myexperience.
I can't act like I'm the expert.
It's just been trial and error,being young and being immature,
saying things that shouldn'thave said, doing things that
shouldn't have been, shouldn'thave done.
The only thing that I can saythat I did right was actually
sticking around and workingthrough the little difficulties
(08:05):
that come up.
Most of us we don't understandbecause we don't have these
examples, Maybe with some of usor most of us, with parents or
grandparents who work things out, who stay married, so we don't
have people to talk to.
How do you get through this?
What do you do when thishappens?
That's pretty much the onlything that I can say that I just
did right was actually stickingthrough there and growing and
(08:27):
maturing instead of running away.
Lirec (08:31):
That's good.
That's a very good point.
What about you Fuego what yougot to say on that topic.
Fuego (08:36):
Well, you know, once you become a father Well, for me,
once I became a father, itdidn't matter any children that
I saw I mean it was going thewrong way Do a U-turn like we
not on my watch.
And so one of the things that Iwill always tell young brothers
listen, I know she looks goodNow, I know she's going when
(09:00):
they look good.
But one of the things is that Ilearned the hard way If you
want to be with a woman, you'vegot to check yourself first to
see if you are emotionallymature, because the number one
thing that I found in arelationship that's required is
are you the?
Lirec (09:19):
consideration.
Fuego (09:20):
Yeah, Are you considerate , Like last night I took my lady
and my son to the movies and myson is he's 13.
He's my youngest son, he's5'11", so he's sitting behind
her and I'm like yo baby, canyou scoot the seat up a little
(09:40):
bit?
And she took it personal she's.
She scooted the seat all theway up.
Now her knees are on a dash andshe's feeling some sort of way
all the way up.
Now her knees are on the dashand she's feeling some sort of
way all the way to the movies.
Lirec (09:48):
The 46 year old me knows, I can just imagine how it
sounds yeah.
Fuego (09:51):
And before she got out, while I let my son get out, I
was like baby, what's wrong?
She was like I have my knees onthe dash all the way here and
my toes hurt and I said, but inmy mind I'm like that was a
simple fix.
Baby, maybe you could have justasked my son, can you scoot
back a little bit?
But to prove her point and toget it across like I was being
(10:13):
the supreme a-hole, asking herto scoot up.
But at 46, I know how to handlethat better than I did at 26.
I would have let a slew of areyou dumb?
But we live and learn.
And so I was just like I'msorry, baby, that shouldn't have
(10:34):
had to happen and it was over.
But these things you learnalong the way.
I didn't know when I was young,I didn't know that a man's job
is to put out fires before theyeven ignite.
Lirec (10:46):
That's a huge thing in manhood, because when you're
responsible for a woman andchildren, yeah, I talk a lot
about this either in my both inmy book and in when I'm talking
to other fathers is that like weset the tone even on other
episodes, like we set the tonefor the entire household Every
time we step foot in it, everytime we communicate to the
(11:08):
function of the household.
If we are upset, everybody elseis going to be upset.
If we, if it seems like we'reupset, everybody else is going
to be upset.
And no, that point that's agood story, man, that being
considerate and understandinglike that you have to mature.
You have to mature emotionallyas you grow throughout life to
really understand how to handledecisions better.
You're probably going to makesome mistakes and that goes back
(11:29):
to Lloyd's point when he wassaying, like yo, I just stuck
around.
I stuck around and made surethat I stayed to work through
all the things that were goingwrong, and so those are some
really, really great lessons formyself.
Man, I am still working throughthose things that you guys have
understood.
I have emotional intelligenceand I have methods to help me
(11:50):
through emotional intelligence,but it sometimes is hard to
experience it and react the waythat you need to react right.
I know that in that situationif she would be like this
happened to me and this and thatI would be like, okay, but you
made the decision to put yourknees on the, to scoot your seat
up.
There was a middle ground thatwe could have stayed at that you
chose not to do, and that's howI have a hard time not teaching
(12:14):
right and because I willexperience something and then
I'll try to find a teachingmoment in it.
And no, everyone's not alwaysavailable to to learn.
I had to.
That's something that I'mlearning as well.
Lloyd (12:26):
There's a disconnect for a lot of us because there's like
a generational breakdown,whereas we don't have the
parents that are married or thegrandparents that are married.
We don't have those people togo to for that advice.
They can say, hey, it's noteven worth it, don't even press
those issues.
So we either have to learn thehard way or we just keep
(12:48):
repeating the same mistake andthen blaming the world.
Lirec (12:49):
Yeah, so what?
What are some?
What are what are two thingsthat you can think of that you
would that happens normally butyou would not pick a fight about
.
You would not even mention it,because I just started learning
that recently.
I was telling my girlfriendthis today I was like I was
upset about something, but Ididn't even mention it because I
was like what's the point?
Like I'm I don't have to fixeverything, but what are some
(13:09):
things like that you would.
That are some fights that youwould be like, yeah, okay, I'm
not gonna pick this.
All right, we talked about it.
She'll adjust later and we'lltalk about it.
Lloyd (13:21):
Loy, I'm talking to you, okay, sure sure.
Just one example, somethingthat will bother me.
Normally just when something'sbeing said about you or that you
said or did something that youdid, what's wrong?
Lirec (13:33):
That's easily put you on the defensive.
That's easily put somebody onthe defensive, for sure.
Lloyd (13:39):
You have to see that bigger picture.
Lirec (13:40):
Oh for sure, Like at all times, and that's I get that.
I get that Because it pictureoh for sure, like at all times,
and that's I get that.
I get that, cause it's easy tolose sight of that in the moment
when you're experiencing thething, but that comes with the
emotional intelligence thatcomes with the consideration of
the other person outside ofyourself.
I'm learning some things, I'mpicking up.
I'm writing this stuff downmentally and in video.
I'm writing it down video andI'll write it down later Before
(14:01):
we go.
What do you got?
What are some things that you,that you'd be like yo.
It's not worth the fight.
I've gone through it, but it'sreally not worth the fight.
Fuego (14:10):
So I'll be honest, man, I'm I'm a little touched, I'm
hard headed, bro, like thingshappen a certain way over and
over again, you would think thatyou would learn.
So I'm piggybacking off of whatLloyd said.
My lady, she's the bee's nest,she's the greatest thing that
(14:31):
happened to me, but she's stillhuman.
And one of the things that shedoes, I'll say A, b and C, but
when she repeats it back, shehas to put extras on it and I'll
be like I didn't say all ofthat.
This is what I said.
After so many times, I'mstarting to you know what?
If it doesn't change the pointof what I was saying, I'll just
leave it alone.
Just leave it alone.
(14:51):
You got it.
But I also learned that I can'teven say that.
I can't even say you got it.
I got to keep that inside.
Lirec (14:59):
It's good that you understand.
I'm glad that you understand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, those,those words, that wording makes
a big difference.
I'm reliving my life as you'retalking, fuego.
It's insane, man, because I'mlike what I just said this.
How did you get I?
I can see myself right ahundred times.
(15:19):
how did you get that out of whatI just said?
I spent these last threeminutes giving you a spill and
then you just completely twistedit and have your.
Oh man, I'm like I'm done, I'mtired of doing that, but no,
that's a great point.
Thank you for mentioning that.
You had something to say, lloyd.
Lloyd (15:36):
Oh, now I'm disagreeing, just an agreement.
Lirec (15:38):
That's good stuff.
When we're talking aboutbalancing that partnerhood and
fatherhood, what do you feel aresome challenges that you face
in regards to that?
What are some challenges thatkind of come up when you're
trying to balance being a fatherimpactful father and an
(15:59):
impactful partner, being afather impactful father and an
impactful partner Anybody?
Fuego (16:06):
yeah, anyone, I could take it.
You want to go first Lloyd?
Lirec (16:09):
Okay, I'll take it.
Lloyd (16:11):
No, I'm just yeah, off the top of the head, I'm just
thinking.
I don't see that as much as achallenge because it's like
we're it's my partner.
We've gone through it together.
Lirec (16:23):
What are some challenges that you've faced in the past?
Lloyd (16:26):
Yeah, just learning.
Just when you had that firstchild and they're innocent,
coming into the world, you lovethem more than anything, and you
first, you then especially ifyou have another child you're
now realizing that you have thisinfinite capacity for love,
that you care for them more thanyou do for yourself or anything
.
And I'm just growing and havinga partner, that you're both
(16:49):
going through this together.
You should be able to see eyeto eye on certain things.
They really, as far as whatI've experienced, we don't
really have any conflicts whenit comes to the parenting and
the relationship.
It's not like some jealousy,you're doing this, you're giving
her too much time.
I'm not really dealing withthat.
So I think it's just being ableto work together even if you're
(17:10):
not in a relationship anymore,having that mutual respect.
I think that it just makes lifeway easier.
Lirec (17:17):
No for sure.
I know that from not I know,but from my, from things that
I've.
So I've, I've had my daughtersince I was 19.
And so every relationship thatI had in my life basically I had
it was like a package.
Basically, I've dated womenwithout kids.
I've dated women with kidsright kids, I've dated women
(17:43):
with kids, right.
And the thing that I found beingmost challenging is trying to
develop a relationship withsomeone that already has kids
and someone that doesn't havekids while you already have a
kid.
That difference, I know that ifit was in sync, right, you're
like, okay, we're figuring thisthing out together.
There's already an agreement.
Right, there's an agreement inplace.
To your point, lloyd, there'san agreement in place.
(18:04):
When you're meeting somebodyand you don't really know them,
you're having to figure out howdo I show this?
How do I give love to thisperson while also giving the
same unchanging or even morelove to my child that I've had
before this person came alongand that's from both sides,
right, not just from father tomother as well Like, how do I've
(18:27):
spent my time giving all mylove to this being, this kid,
this child, and then there'sthis other person that says hey,
I want a piece of it too.
And trying to find that balancewas challenging when I was
younger.
But trying to find that balanceto where I can love someone and
I've gotten it wrong on bothsides.
Like I've gotten it wrong.
There was a point in time wheremy daughter had all my
(18:49):
attention and I didn't care whatI was like.
No, my daughter's going to behere forever.
I got to make sure she's good.
I don't care about my personalrelationship.
I don't care about the lovethat I'm building I relationship
.
I don't care about the lovethat I'm building.
I don't care about this, not inthose words.
But I was negligent in a sense.
And then I've done it wrong onthe other side where I was like
all right, I'm going to pourinto this relationship and pour
into this person.
And then my child startedfeeling neglected and it was at
(19:11):
a point in time in her lifewhere she was really looking at
herself who is she?
And it was my job to reallybuild that into her at that time
.
But I was not.
I was like having a hard timewith the balance.
I've gotten it hella right forthe last like maybe seven years,
but I say that to say that's achallenge that I face, trying to
be a partner and be a father atthe same time, which you will
(19:32):
be.
But I'm just talking about thatbalance, that shift in balance
that happens.
Lloyd (19:37):
If I could say one more thing, I think, like, as far as
the relationship portion, youknow, I mean outside of like
extreme intimacy we don't reallyhold too much back, because I
think the children need to seethat, to see a husband and wife,
to see how you care for eachother and love each other in a
respectful manner.
They need to experience thattoo for them and obviously like
(20:00):
if yeah, if we weren't togetherwith us, having five children
together.
Whoever we date, they need tobe around the same age as us and
also have children, Becauselook man, we have all this
together.
Man, you're going to have todeal with that, right?
Like you said, it's a packagedeal.
Lirec (20:17):
Yeah, now I like that.
Like you said, it's a packagedeal, yeah, and now I like that.
So it seems like, coming fromthe point that I made and what
you just said is vital, and thatbalance is not only necessary
for your child, it's not onlynecessary for your partner, for
that you have balance and theenergy and the love that you
give, but it's even moreimportant that your child is
(20:38):
able to see that you have abalance and that you have a
balance with them and you'realso loving them and they're
seeing that you loving somebodyelse.
They're able to see that andimitate that in the future of
their lives, and that's a verygreat point, very good point.
What about you, fuego?
Fuego (20:55):
So I would add on a challenge between the children
and your partner.
So I would add on a challengebetween the children and your
partner.
But as I've gotten older and Irealized I was a father before,
I was someone's partner, I wasme.
And so add a third part Are youmaking space for you?
Just, I didn't understand whenI was growing up what's this big
(21:16):
deal with a man cave?
But?
Or older guys, they would havea library or a study, but it was
just be, it would just be aspace for them.
The older I get, I find how muchlike this is so vital now,
because as a man, everything's,everything stops with you.
Now, you're the last thingyou're and I know women would
(21:39):
feel the same way now.
But as a man like if you, ifyour household is set up no man,
woman and child, that meanyou're the first line of defense
, you have the last say you justget a lot.
You, everything is pulled onyou.
Even if the woman is dealingwith the children, at some point
she's going to defer to you,and she's, and actually a lot
(22:00):
she's going to defer to you.
You know, sometimes she don'tfeel like making those decisions
.
And I know for myself, betweenmy partner, my children, her
children, silly self, my dogs,my work.
Some days I just like I reallydon't have anything left.
I really don't.
And on some of those days, likeI need to just go in and
(22:21):
retreat, and some days I mightneed 15 minutes, some days I
might need a couple hours.
That wasn't taught.
The thing is, man I had mydaddy was always there, but I
moved.
I'm from Cleveland.
So when I moved from Clevelandto Dayton not having any close
family, move from Cleveland toDayton, not having any close
(22:42):
family yeah, it was just, I wasjust on my own.
But that, that, that piece whereyou can have some time and
space for yourself, is necessarybecause you have to recharge,
because tomorrow they're goingto be right back at it, pulling,
pulling on you for everything.
That's been a balance that I'vehad to learn.
Like now, for the first time inmy life, I'd be like look, not
right now, we've had thisconversation.
(23:03):
I don't have, I don't have itto do right now.
Instead of younger me would belike are you talking to me?
I'm you, see me doing something?
It's just the consideration andthe patience.
The patience has been thenumber one thing, because if you
can model patience for her,then she can model it for the
children and then they can modelit for themselves.
(23:25):
But if you're impatient, oh man, the house is just a mess, you
know because?
everything starts with you, so Ijust need to add that third
piece to it.
For me that's a huge deal.
I like that.
Lirec (23:41):
That triad man, that is a .
For me that's a huge deal.
I like that.
That is that triad man that's.
That is a powerful addition,that balance between making sure
that you're present, makingsure that you are showing up for
yourself, the same way you showup for your partner, same way
you show up for your child.
Should should almost be bloblike a blob.
It should almost should alwaysequal out, though there's the
but, there's that triad thatyou're going to be pulled from.
(24:02):
So you've got to pour intoyourself your kid's going to
require, so you've got to pourinto them and you've got to pour
into your partner in order forthem to feel love and feel
present.
And I wonder if there are anymothers or any women talking
about the same thing, right?
Or is this something that isspecific to fathers?
Is this dynamic specific to men?
(24:23):
And I just threw that question,it was just a random question.
I'm like I wonder if this, thetalk of this, the strength of
this family, is that a us thing?
Is that just our thing that wemust understand and master when
we're talking about thestructure of a family?
Lloyd (24:39):
and that's a real question.
They're talking about thestructure of a family, and
that's a real question.
Fuego (24:42):
They're talking about it too.
Lloyd (24:42):
Yeah, they are, Especially if they're doing most
of the work with the children,plus maintaining everything the
house and all that.
They have to come up with a wayto still be able to build
themselves up.
Lirec (24:54):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's definitely a good point.
So when we talk about so I knowwe talked about partner being a
partner, balancing it out withbeing a father, being a provider
and a nurturer, that is.
I don't think it's dualistic inpoints, but I think that a lot
of folks, a lot of men thataren't fathers, that are trying
(25:15):
to figure out that everyone'stalking about the dating stuff,
like that's everywhere thefreaking Instagram is riddled
with men or guys who are tryingto figure out how to's talking
about the dating stuff.
Like that's everywhere thefreaking Instagram is riddled
with men or guys who trying tofigure out how to be a man to a
woman For fathers, active andimpactful fathers we're put into
a position where we figure itout Right.
So my question is let's talkabout being a provider and a
(25:36):
nurturer and how that plays intothe father in the household,
because I think that a lot ofmen outside of and correct me if
I'm wrong a lot of men that arelike in those dating podcasts
and all that stuff talk about Igot to be a provider.
You know what I'm saying.
If I'm providing, then shegoing to have to do this or she
going to have to come throughlike this, or even a woman is
like no, I want a provider, Iwant this kind of, I want
(25:57):
somebody that's going to come in.
But there's a lot of women thatare in the middle ground,
talking also about thatemotional part, that
consideration of part, thatnurturing part, and not just
nurturing the thought, nurturingthe child, but nurturing your
partner as well.
So let's talk about that.
Let's talk about that part.
Fuego (26:14):
Anybody got any.
You know what, bro?
That's why I said I tell youngmen like, look bro, you got to
be ready, because the demandsthat a woman's going to make
from you, if it's really yourpartner and y'all are really
y'all are really connected likethat, the pressure.
So I have a funny story youguys have all seen the movie
(26:38):
John Q yeah.
Yeah, and his son had the heartcondition.
There's that scene in therewhere his wife they're on the
phone, he's at the hospital andshe just makes something happen,
get it done.
And me and my partners we callthat getting John Q'd, because
only a woman can put that typeof pressure on a man and he's
(26:59):
going to accept it and thenreally go out and try to do
something about it.
And so that's why I tell theyoung boys like yo, you have to
make sure that you're ready,because this is going to be the
most rewarding, most challengingthing that you Well, I won't
say the most, but it's one ofthe most rewarding and
challenging things that you canexperience in this lifetime.
(27:21):
And I know women don't like tohear this, but sometimes I
forget what the comedian said.
He was like guys are so simplethat women get upset at it.
Yeah, he said, we're justsimple in nature.
He gave an example, he said.
He said if there's two guysriding a car and we miss a turn,
oh we just, bro dude, and webust the UE and then we get back
(27:46):
to where it was going.
In some cases, if it's a womanin the car, why would you do
that?
Just depending on the woman.
My point is that nurturing, thenurturing and providing like
it's a juggling act.
But when I say I tell the youngguys to be ready, these are the
things they have to think about.
How do you want to set yourlife up?
One of the things that I knowthat young brothers don't do and
(28:10):
I was one of them they don'tplan.
They don't family plan, likethey just go get a girl, she
gets pregnant.
Now you deal with it.
Now what I know?
There's some people, man,they're doing financial planning
, they're deciding where theywant to live, how they want to
(28:30):
live.
A lot of brothers who look likeyou and I.
I didn't know that.
I don't even think that myparents did it.
They dated, they said, oh, it'stime to get married, and then
they went house hunting.
So I think really having theforesight because if you have
the foresight and plan your lifeout how you want it to be, then
that providing part has takencare of.
I'm going to be doing thisthat's going to bring in these
type of resources to the house.
(28:51):
And then, because the thing isthe money, but it's the time
After a while, you only have somuch time in a day If you put
eight to 10 hours in and worknow, what's left for her and the
children, whereas if you onlyhave to work four or five hours
a day, then you have more timefor your family in totality.
So it's just for me thatplanning part and making sure
(29:14):
that you're ready man is ajuggling act regardless.
Lirec (29:19):
That's a very interesting point.
I very much like the fact thatyou was like that balance with
time and, yeah, you bringing inmoney to the house.
But it's not just money, it'sthe time as well, like a lot of
fathers get into a place wherewe get completely drained in our
relationships and in ourmarriage because everything that
comes, everything that is value, everything that seems like
value from us, that gets valued,is the work that we put in.
(29:43):
I'm in a part of thesefatherhood groups and
everybody's most of the men arecomplaining because they feel
like they're unappreciated.
They feel like they just work.
And when you say, hey, what'sgoing on with your family?
Why is your child like one ofyour child doing this?
When are you doing?
We're asking questions buttheir answers is always
surrounding the fact I can'tbecause I'm working 14 hours,
like I do all this for them.
I work 14 hours of this and Ido 15.
(30:05):
And I'm like that's your fault.
Your child does not care abouthow much money you make unless
you raise your child.
Your child does not innatelycare about how much money you
make.
Right, the person that lovesyou don't care a hundred percent
about how much money you make.
It is important, the stabilityis important, but when it comes
to the memories that you canmake from not working 14, you're
(30:27):
giving your life to a job thatdon't care about you, right, and
your family that's growing,creating memories, and you are a
part of that structure, of thatmemory, of that picture that's
being taken.
You're a part of that and ifyou're at work all the time, you
don't get kudos for that.
You don't get kudos that youwork 14 hour shifts all your
life and you took your kids.
You sent your kids to college.
(30:49):
Now if they get an accolade andthey were like I want to thank
my dad for working 14 hours,like that's all you will get.
But what's really rewarding inlife that I found is the
memories that you are able to goback on and look back on with
your family.
If you gotta, if you need toshift from a 10 hour to a four
hour day, you need to make allthose hard decisions.
(31:11):
It's gonna get them, just gonnaget there, because it's the
goal that matters.
Man, it's a really hard thingto do because I've done it
myself and I worked.
I went from working three jobsand now I work one job and then
I do all this fun stuff on theside, do the fatherhood speaks
and 15 minutes with dad and allthat stuff.
I get to do that on the side,but I still get to spend so much
(31:31):
time with my family and makememories and travel around the
country at times, man, I justhad to throw that spill out
because that is a very powerfulpoint for you that you just put
out there, man.
I love the wisdom.
I love the wisdom.
What you got, lord.
I don't know if I chimed inwith you, man, but I know you
got something you got to say.
Lloyd (31:47):
No, I just really I think what Fuego said was on point
about the planning andunderstanding what you're
actually getting into, becauseif you're just with somebody
because you like the way theylook, when you're not looking
into seeing, like, what kind ofdecisions she makes, how's her
family upbringing, now you're ina whole different situation and
(32:09):
you may wind up not beingappreciated at all and
definitely need to take intoaccount steps, what family
planning steps you need to do tobe able to get to that point
where you can have the freedomand the time to be able to put
in because, yeah, not living anice house, great neighborhood,
all of these things, man, nobodycares.
(32:30):
As crazy as it sounds, man,nobody cares.
Yeah, yeah, you have to put inthat that real work as far as
being there and creating thememories and the things that
really matter.
Lirec (32:42):
That is funny that you say that man that like harping
on that no one cares thing, isinsanely important for men to
accept.
No one cares.
No one cares that you didn'tmake it.
No one cares that you almostmade it.
No one cares that.
No one cares that we cried.
No one cares that we sat Inreality.
The world does not care.
Your family cares cry.
(33:02):
No one cares that we sat Inreality, the world does not care
.
Your family cares.
But in reality, like it's up toyou, up to us, to internally
reflect on that and figure thosethings out, we're going to,
like we create the world thatwe're involved in.
We're hands on creating theworld that we're involved in.
Right, I want to.
I want to harp on somethingthat you said, lloyd.
(33:23):
You said that decision-makingknowing what you're getting
yourself into.
It's very interesting that yousaid that, because the first
thing that comes to mind is thatthere are people making
temporary decisions or makinglong-term decisions in temporary
seasons.
They're making these sleepingwith females unprotected that
(33:43):
they know they probably wouldnever take home, like those.
That's a long-term decisionthat has risk for a temporary
season and not protecting thatlong-term season.
I'm I am half guilty of it theperson I was with.
I was with her for about fouror five years, the mother of my
daughter, but I did make andI'll and I tell my daughter this
(34:04):
, I tell her that you were notplanned, but you were not
prevented either, and so italmost sounds insane that she's
a teenager now so I can havethese conversations.
But I explain when I'm talkingto her about those kinds of
relations and making thosedecisions, like, even though I
didn't plan to have kids at 18and 19 or have kids at 19, have
(34:24):
a child at 19, I also didn'tmake the decisions to not have
kids at 19.
And that was where my jack upis, and that's the kind of like
the lesson that I usually teachyoung folks myself.
But this is some y'all aredropping mad gems.
I just want to say I commendy'all, I appreciate it, I love
this talk.
Y'all dropping some mad gemstoday.
Mad gems, all right, so let'sbook.
(34:44):
Let me see what time we got.
We're at 40 to close out.
Can Can each of you giveRelated to this topic?
Give us Give the dads out therethat are watching this topic.
(35:06):
Give us give the dads out therethat are watching this.
Give them a lesson to take homefrom this talk that they can
implement into their life todayor start implementing into their
life you want to go first.
Fuego (35:14):
Lloyd.
Lloyd (35:16):
Oh sure, yeah, I'll go.
So one, yeah, if I was able togive out some advice to myself
and to others like me on ayounger stage, I definitely
would advise the young fathersout there to value their family,
which includes yourself Right.
To value yourself, your familyand the legacy that you're
building, that you're creatingRight, and that includes
(35:38):
everything, even the even if youhave not gotten to that point
yet where you've createdchildren, then obviously ignore
all of the other stuff out therethat's telling you to just do
random things, to be calculated,to put more work into who
you're actually entertaining anddoing the things that can lead
to creating a child, to valueyourself and to value your
(36:02):
family and to put to alwaysvalue what you're creating in
your legacy so that, even ifbumps occur along the road with
the person that you created thischild with, to value the legacy
that you're creating, so thatwhat you guys are creating is
bigger than whatever argument,whatever little petty things
that come about.
And, as you both spoke onearlier, whether we realize it
(36:25):
or not, we lead the way, and so,if that is the foundation that
you're building, your mate,whoever you're building this
family with, will also take thatlead as well, so that you both
see what you're doing isimportant, it matters.
It's not just something just tothrow away, just to walk away
from.
We're building children here.
We're together for life.
(36:46):
We're going to havegrandchildren.
We're going to be raising thesechildren.
Even when they're grown,they're still going to be coming
to us for advice.
So it's like it's a legacy man,it's not some five minute thing
and that's just what I wouldshare.
Lirec (36:57):
Nah, man, that's great, that's fantastic.
Fuego what you got.
Fuego (37:00):
There's so many lessons.
One of the things is so I go toa doctor and she has a.
She has a quote on the wall.
She's in.
It says if the things that yousaid, things that came out of
your mouth, were written on yourskin, would you still say them?
And and I'll be honest for me,no one, no dude in the street,
has infuriated me like themother of my children.
(37:22):
But I don't have a bond withsomeone in the street like I
have with a woman who I decidedto procreate with.
I have four children with onewoman and my fifth is with
another.
And when I say, my thing is inthis life, you're going to have
regrets, but let's let'smitigate those, because one day,
the things that you said to hermother, the daughter is going
(37:43):
to have regrets, but let'smitigate those, because one day,
the things that you said to hermother, the daughter is going
to hear them, the son is goingto hear them.
And so my thing is let's justbe mindful, because when you
upset with someone saying thingsout of anger, it's just not a
good look.
So for the young guys I wouldsay this I saw a video of
(38:07):
Malcolm Jamal Warner a couple ofweeks ago Actually, my lady
sent it to me and he was sayingthat and for me it goes for
little black girls he wastalking about to little black
boys.
He said, man, you don't reallyhave to.
He said you don't have to whoopand beat on little black boys.
He said, man, you don't reallyhave to say you don't have to
whoop and beat on little blackboys.
He was like it's not necessary.
What you should do is love themso much that when they do
(38:31):
something wrong, thedisappointment in you as a
parent will whoop their headworse than a belt or a slap
could.
And that's the way my childrencan all count on one hand the
amount of weapons that they gotfrom me.
Just, this wasn't my thingbecause I'm the daddy I did more
talking than anything but andthat applies for girls too but
(38:53):
it just it made me think aboutparenting in a whole different
way.
What's that parable?
The carrot or the stick or thestick?
And the crazy thing is, if yougo to anybody who trains dogs,
they'll tell you punishmentdon't work.
So if it works for a dog thathas lesser mental capacity, how
(39:18):
much will it work on a child, amini me that looks like you and
behaves and models everything.
Just, I go back to notconsideration, but compassion.
Compassion would be thecompassion for everyone involved
, from yourself to the children,to the mother, because, let's
be honest, fellas, they got anine month head start on us.
(39:39):
They, man, they've been gettingtheir head bust.
Pregnancy is no fun, you knowwhat I mean, even if she wants
to be pregnant, but imagine it'sa surprise.
And so now all of that.
So I would say the number onething is just compassion for
everybody involved, because whatyou give out is coming back
(39:59):
around, man, and with that themics are dropped.
Lirec (40:03):
Y'all have dropped some mad gems today.
Man, I can't appreciate you guysenough for joining me on this
fatherhood speaks episode.
Guys, fathers, people who arewatching this whether you're
fathers and mothers, we have allthe sorts but for those, for
viewers that are watching this,make sure that you stay
connected with 15 minutes withdad.
(40:25):
Um, you like man, I don't know,you're going to, I'm going to
drop their tags.
If you want to connect withthem on the business tip, uh, as
well as just connecting withthem for advice, uh, I'm going
to.
If y'all are okay with that,I'll put y'all's social media on
tags when I'm promoting thisepisode.
But, wow, patience, compassion,making intentional words,
(40:49):
intentional speaking yeah, y'allreally taught me something
today.
I got to go back and haveanother conversation with my
lady today just so I canimplement these things.
So I really appreciate y'all.
So, guys, thank y'all forjoining 15 Minutes with dad.
Fatherhood speaks father speaksepisode.
You can go and follow us onYouTube and subscribe this video
If you have not yet to get morecontent from us.
(41:13):
I'm dropping content on aregular.
You're going to get some weekly, you're going to get some
monthly, some quarterly, but forthis fatherhood speaks episode
you're going to get to a month.
Every two weeks you'll get anew episode of Fatherhood Speaks
.
So make sure that you time inat 15 minutes with dad on
YouTube, tiktok, facebook,instagram and make sure that, if
you're listening to this onstreaming platforms, make sure
(41:36):
that you go and rate thispodcast, rate this episode,
because when you rate thisepisode, you let everybody know
that this is something that theyshould listen to.
So I appreciate those that do,those that are chabbing in.
Y'all take care.
Love, peace and chicken grease.
Y'all.
Lloyd Fuego, thank you forjoining me.
Y'all take care.
Fuego (41:57):
Thanks for the invite, bro.
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