December 30, 2024 • 33 mins
Do you ever wonder how widespread drug use really is in your child’s school? In this powerful conversation, Mariah joins me to shed light on the startling reality that nearly half of her classmates engage in some form of drug use or vaping. This eye-opening discussion challenges us as parents to address these hard truths with honesty, supportive communication, and compassion.
We explore why teenagers are often drawn to these behaviors—whether out of curiosity, the desire to fit in, or as a coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions and hidden trauma. Through a fatherhood lens, I share my own experience of shock and fear when I first discovered my daughter’s involvement, wrestling with disbelief, anger, and the urge to take drastic action. But amidst the chaos, we found the path forward through open dialogue and emotional resilience.
Listening to Mariah, we underscore the importance of understanding our teens' motivations and creating a safe space for honest conversations. When we lead as dads with empathy instead of control, we help our children feel seen, valued, and empowered to make healthier decisions.
Finally, we share actionable strategies for guiding teens away from destructive habits, including:
- Helping them discover their personal “why” for choosing a healthier path.
- Encouraging healthy habits and outlets that support emotional well-being.
- Seeking guidance from counselors or therapists to provide additional perspectives.
- Practicing self-care as parents to model emotional stability.
- Building lasting connections through small, intentional moments of trust and understanding.
This episode is about more than addressing drug use—it’s about creating an environment of family empowerment, leading with love and patience, and helping our teens develop the mental health and inner strength to navigate life’s toughest challenges.
Join us as we tackle this complex topic with empathy and courage, ensuring our children always feel supported, understood, and empowered to make positive choices.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, what's going on?
everybody, this your boy Lyricand it's your girl, mariah and
this is 15 minutes with dad, andtoday we are talking about some
very deep topic that I knowthat all of you fathers are
having some form of an issuewith and I have had a form of an
issue with as well and we areat a stage where I think this
(00:21):
conversation is very important.
But, but we're going to talkabout the D word, not that D
word.
We're going to talk about drugs.
Guys, it didn't go well.
We're going to talk about drugsand the version of
conversations, or conversationsthat we've had, and how we
(00:44):
navigated it and how we continueto navigate it.
It is, um, it is a real factthat kids have, uh, it easier to
get or find it either moreaccessible and more entertaining
and more um, you know, like Idon't even know the word, what
(01:06):
is it?
What would you say?
What would you call it?
Like more acceptable to dodrugs, like it's a normal, like,
and I think drugs has beenaround since before my time,
like you know.
But I think that kids are moreseeking it, no matter where they
are in their life, like as athing, that this is the state of
(01:27):
mind.
That should be, and I'm no kid,so I can't give you a kid
perspective, but I am a dad andI'll give you a dad perspective,
and that's why Mariah has takenit upon herself to grace us
with her presence on thisepisode, to talk about drugs.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hi drugs.
I mean hey, mariah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Stop, that's actually funny.
Hello, so we're going to talkabout drugs today and I don't
know exactly know where to startin this conversation, but I do.
Let's start from um thefoundation.
Can I ask you a couplequestions regarding like in your
(02:16):
experience in high school, likeif you was to give me a ratio,
one out of every.
Well, you know how many out ofevery five people do you know
that are doing some kind ofdrugs, or in taking some kind of
drugs, or even vaping?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I feel like like at my school, I feel about like, um
, like two or three out of fivepeople, because I feel like
every time you go into thebathroom, there's someone in
there vaping and stuff in thebathroom, and like I feel like
it's like kind of obvious,though, like when somebody is,
(02:57):
and I feel like, like most ofthe people in my school do, and
it's like no, like it's not evena secret when people do it,
like it's like everybody knows,like, say, like, if you want to
get something from this person,I mean get something like like
you know, like, just go to thatperson, they'll have something.
You know like, you like likeit's not really a secret on who
(03:19):
doesn't, who like doesn't, orsomething like that.
But I feel like two or threeout of five people, like at my
school, do it wow I know it's alot yeah, I'm pretty sure two
out of three or five people.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
My school did it too, I just didn't know it yeah,
maybe they did.
I mean, I have friends that didit.
Let me stop lying.
I have friends that werepotheads.
I ain't gonna sit here and lieto you, but um, and and and out
of this accessibility of ofdrugs you have.
You have had some form of arun-in with it yourself, correct
(03:52):
?
Yes and how, how or why, or Idon't want to say why do you
feel like you did it, but likewhat were some motivators to do
it?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
um, I think it was like I seen a lot of people
doing it, you know.
And then I was like I, you know, I'm the type of person who's
curious about everything andwant to try everything.
So like I feel like that's kindof what it started from, was
like, oh, I just want to try it.
And after that it was kind oflike like most of my friends did
it.
So like I was like, well, likeit's okay if I were to do it,
(04:28):
and like I didn't want to likebe like that person who, like I
didn't want to be that what isit like the goody two-shoes type
of person, and I feel like,yeah, you don't want to be
singled out as like oh you're,you're too good to do this.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, you're too good to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
That's how they sound that is how they sound.
I figured it.
I figured, I knew it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Exactly how they sound I see that's, see, that's
that intuition.
We know how people sound, uh,um, no and that's, and, and
those are valid points.
I think that a lot of kids uhengage for those reasons.
Those are very some people doit.
They have other reasons on topof those reasons, but those are
(05:09):
typically like your basis foryour introduction to doing it.
How much do you think itaffected your life when you were
doing it?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I think it really affected my life.
I was tired all the time, I hadno motivation for anything, I
was about to quit basketball,Like I feel, like I just didn't
want to do anything.
And it made my mental health golike drastically change.
Like I was good right beforeand then, whenever I started
doing it, like my mental healthwas like horrible, you know.
(05:48):
Mental health was like horrible,you know, and like it was just
like I feel like it also likelike I just I don't even know
how to explain it, but but yeah,like it was just like it, it
really changed everything likemy, it changed my thinking, it
changed like how I was talking,it changed like it literally
changed everything.
I feel like it like kind ofaffected like my face, my, like
my physical appearance as wellyeah and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Like it was, it was yeah yeah, did you feel like it
it like, did you feel like italtered your how you feel about
yourself?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
yeah, definitely self-esteem, like how you see
yourself yeah whereas you weredoing it to feel cool and to
feel accepted and to feel a partof something, and still that
feeling didn't yeah, it neverreally came like the feeling of
cool like I'm like, I feel like,if anything, it just like it
just made me like, like like Iwas, I was doing it to feel cool
(06:52):
, but in reality, like I knew,like it wasn't cool, like like
you know, like that's not coolto do that stuff.
Like it's like it's like stupid,especially at this age, like
like now that I'm out of it,like I understand that, but like
I feel like in the moment whenI was doing it, like it kind of
like not changed my decisionmaking, but I feel like it like
(07:13):
kind of affected it and so likebeing like like, even though I
knew that it wasn't a good thingto do, or it wasn't smart or it
wasn't cool or anything likethat in my head, I still somehow
like convinced myself like itwas fine and that I was cool or
stuff.
You know right, yeah youcouldn't.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It was a check you couldn't cash yeah he's like
thank you for writing this check, but I can't cash it.
No way and and so that I meanthat's those are.
Those are definitely validpoints, and I wanted everyone to
hear your perspective and yourwords of how you experienced
(07:53):
that, and we're going to talkabout what you did or things
that you partaked in to kind ofget off of it or ways to get out
of it.
But I also want to give um aperspective from um the dad's
side on how we navigated it andhow um it impacted me, and so
I'll talk about my experiencewhen I found out that, when that
(08:15):
you were smoking and believe itor not, like I've been around
druggies not calling okay,thanks I've been around people
who do drugs all my life, all mylife and, uh, that's so.
(08:35):
That was terrible, that was bad.
I'm losing listeners for thatanyways.
Um, so I've been around peoplewho do drugs quite literally all
of my life and there was amoment where I was like are you
high?
Yeah, and she was like no.
I was like, oh, you must be.
(08:58):
And I asked her.
I think it was a week straightthat I was just like coming into
her room and just asking herthat Like, are you high, bro?
Like this is weird to me.
I was like are you high?
She's like no, no, I'm not.
Why would you think?
And she was like why you thinkI'm doing drugs?
You always thinking I'm doingthem.
You, you always thinking I'mdoing something you know.
So it was all and I was likeall right, I'll back up, maybe
(09:19):
I'm too hard, I'm back up, Iback up.
And um, that same week youfound out.
And that same week I found outand I lost my mind.
I thought of every like.
I was like I need to send herto a rehab.
I need to send her to a rehab.
(09:42):
I need to like I need to sendit to her mom, I need to disown
this child.
I was trying to figure outevery single solitary solution
that I could.
I went, everything went to myhead.
There was nothing off the tableat that point.
So I was like why is my childhere doing drugs?
I don't do drugs.
The only drugs I have in myhouse is is tylenol and I barely
have that because we haveperiods and headaches all the
time.
So we don't.
I run out pretty, quite often.
(10:04):
So like I'm always at the, I'malways at walgreen, um or cvs.
Need a sponsor.
No, uh, at this point but, but Ithought of like everything
under the sun to make this paingo away, to make this issue go
away, and I had no solution andI was like at my wit's end,
(10:27):
stress the hell out.
Um, to the point, I had to goto therapy like I was like yo, I
need, I need some sessions,like asap, so I can figure this
out.
And I had to kind of bringclarity to myself.
Um, I had to like find claritywithin myself so I can even
guide the solution.
I don't even think I like wehad talks on, talks on, talks on
(10:48):
talks about drugs.
I don't even think I don't.
I would say, I don't think youneed to talk to your child as
much as I talked to Mariah, butI was getting stuff off of my
head.
I was getting thoughts off ofmy head every other, every few,
every like hour or so I hadsomething else to say.
So I was like, hey, come downhere, I need to talk to you, and
so we'll talk about it.
You know, while I was lookingfor therapists and stuff like
(11:09):
that, for her as well, it wasthe most nerve wracking
experience to know that yourchild has decided to put
something in to their body thatyou know, like I'm telling you
Dismariah, but it may.
It rattled me in my soul toknow that you were at a place in
(11:29):
your mind where you felt likeyou could you would like to
excuse me put something insideof you that would harm you
during your development and whenyou're an adult.
You can choose.
I'm not anti-drugs.
I've told you can choose.
I'm not anti-drugs.
I've told you this.
I'm not anti-weed, I am antiother drugs, but I am not
anti-weed.
But for the most part, when itcame to you my child doing drugs
(11:49):
at this age, it was a no-no forme.
And and so what?
After all all, after my panicattack and me talking to her, I
was like, well, let me start aconversation with her about how
drugs impact her, who she is,whereas you think you're chasing
(12:15):
a feeling, and that feelingseems seemingly goes away, but
it actually is bottled, or likeit's actually just blocked off
while it piles up in the back,the background, and I won't get
into you guys getting on to thedetails of that, but like I'm a
part of the I'm a, I'm part ofthe dare, the dare era, the say
(12:37):
no to drugs era, that thatraised me and and I think I'm
one of the million folks thatthat received this, these
programs that it worked on.
But you know, I mean, and Italked to her, I level set it
with you at that time and I toldyou about my experience and
like when I did drugs or likewhen I started now, like times I
(13:00):
was hanging out with my, my, myfriends, who were potheads,
like most of my friends, all ofmy friends were potheads and
some of them still are Um, but Italked to, I talked to you
about how their lives areimpacted by it and how my life
was impacted by it, myexperience.
And I just told her.
(13:21):
I told her this one thing I waslike you just have to find your
why.
And it could be the dumbest whyever, why not to do it or why
to do it, but you have to have awhy.
And I told her when I was inschool, when I had homies, like
I'm sitting in the circle,whatever, you know, puff, puff,
give it, passing it to the left,pass the dutchie to the right.
I don't know if it was to theleft-hand side or the right-hand
(13:43):
side from that song, butanyways, you know, passing it
through the circle and it wouldcome to me and I was like, nah,
bro, I'm good.
But I would always have to givesome kind of reason because
they'd be like no good man, Igot something to do tomorrow, or
I have this and this and this,and for a huge part of the time
it's like no man, I got adaughter on the way or something
.
It was always something.
(14:04):
But I kept a reasoning on why Ididn't do it.
Oh, I got to take a drug testsoon, so I'm not going to do it.
But I had a why and I toldMariah about that, why I told
you about that why?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What is your why?
Well, I don't remember what mywhy was like at that time, but I
feel like, like my thecounselor actually asked me that
I think like two sessions ago,but like she asked me what my
why is, and I feel like now mywhy is like it affects other
people.
It affects people like, likeother than me, you know like
before, before I didn't think itaffected other people.
(14:45):
You know, I'm like, well, it'sjust like me doing it, so like I
don't know, I don't see how itwould affect other people.
But I realized, like after, likeall of that happened, I
realized like it affected, likeit affected you as well, you
know yeah and it like so, likelike thinking that I feel like
that, like kind of like Ibecause I didn't really like
(15:07):
even though I know I didn't likereally show it, but I hated
seeing you in pain like that,you know, and I hated that I
like caused you that much painso like I feel like that is like
my why now?
Because it's affecting otherpeople outside of myself and
causing pain on other peoplethat I love.
That I obviously don't wantthat.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah seems like you got a heart.
Where is this teenager coming?
from I'm glad what's today.
We're gonna mark this in thecalendars as the day of the lord
, the year of the lord, 2024,december 23rd.
Um, no, I appreciate that.
Um, I really do appreciate that.
(15:47):
And whatever your why is and itdoesn't have to make sense to
anybody, but as long as it makessense to you and you hold on to
that and I'll be your why, aslong as you need me to be your
why, you know, and um, but tothe point where you mentioned
you mentioned something about uhto having a counselor, right,
and so, um, these, this, let'sget into the phase of, like,
what we did as a solution afterwe talked about those things and
(16:11):
I mean, when I was, I wasdramatic about, I was
unapologetic about it like we,um, you know, we talked to she,
you know, got her a counselor.
Um, worked on finding atherapist in the uh in the area,
local area, a local therapistin the area to help support her
outside the school, but thecounselor inside the school also
(16:31):
had a drug counselor inside theschool and so mariah meets with
the counselor when she needs tobut also have a drug counselor
that's helping her support andMariah is going to those things
and that's kind of the supportthat you have in school while
going through the pressures ofthese different things.
(16:52):
And I just want to be reallyclear Like kids, teenagers have
a lot of stress.
Can you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Definitely yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And they have a lot of pressure and a lot of stress,
even though they don't paybills.
I said everything in the bookbut when I thought about all the
things that I talked to youabout, I realized half of that
shit don't even matter.
After talking to her for fourdays, five hours out of each day
(17:25):
, I was like you probably won'ttake anything, like you probably
will take 90% of whatever thehell I said to you in the last
five days.
But if anything that you cantake out of what I said and I
gave her a very synthesizedcouple sentences if anything you
(17:45):
can take that I love you and Icare about your wellbeing, I
don't.
I I do not accept that my childis doing drugs.
At your age, when you're anadult, you choose what you want
to do and that's fine.
But as your brain is developing, it is unacceptable in my
household that you smoke weedand we kind of like started from
(18:10):
there.
But all in all, her goal to yourgoal, to your goal, let me tell
I'm talking to you all I know,I'm usually talking to myself,
so I'm looking at the microphonewhile I'm talking it is because
you used to be, you know, nevermind.
But, all in all, that journey isyours to take, right.
(18:31):
At the end of the day, you'regoing to choose every day to do
drugs or not, to do weed or not,to smoke or not like to vape or
not.
You choose that.
All I can do is create anenvironment where you feel
supported to not do that.
And so I'm not going to dads.
You may you may have a teen inyour life that's doing this
(18:55):
stuff and you may not even knowit.
You may suspect it.
If you suspect it, dive deeperjust to make sure, because they
need it.
Kids it is a proven fact thatkids that are doing drugs are
more likely to be either hooked.
Doing drugs are more likely tobe either hooked to be less
(19:21):
successful Not only call it lesssuccessful but less caring
about the end game or the endgoal or the future Due to their
brain still in developmentduring the time that they're
doing drugs.
It is not okay for teens to dodrugs, and I I'm a firm believer
.
You know I'm not.
Like I said, I'm not anti-weed.
(19:41):
I don't smoke it, but I'm notanti-weed.
But for my, for my kids, it'snot a thing.
Um, I also had a friend talk toyou as well yeah um, and she
also kind of we grew up togethera friend of mine, vanessa
bonnie what's up?
Shout out to bonnie.
I have impressed it in so longit's been a long.
(20:09):
Yeah, you couldn't even rememberwhich one of these buttons is
it?
Uh, but shout out to Vanibecause she saw how disrupted I
was, how jacked up I was, andshe was like this is not the
Eric.
I know, this is not the person,this is not the father that
I've known you to ever be, and Iwas defeated.
(20:32):
I ain't going to lie.
I told you, mariah, I wasdefeated.
I ain't gonna lie like I I told.
I told you, mariah, I was like,I was like bro, look,
congratulations you, you did it.
you broke me like oh my gosh,when you said that, that like I
was so sad it's, it's a, it's areal deal like somebody's some
dads, even like myself, we cantake anything from the world,
(20:53):
but, like from my baby girl, tolike it's, it's.
We're fragile, fragile like wecan take anybody outside of this
house taking a crack at us.
We can fight any of them.
We can't fight you, you can'tfight our little girls.
And I was like, bro, uh, youbroke me.
Bro, I can't do it.
(21:15):
I had to reset, I had tore-figure out my life.
At that point and I think mostof you, some of you dads, are
like that, but we love our kids.
And the thing that I didpersonally, and it was like I
had to separate my feelings fromyour development, right,
(21:38):
feelings from your development,right, like everything about you
, I've everything I've pouredinto you over these years.
I was attached to because I'mlike, oh my God, I'm doing this
and this is going to.
You know, give her this andthis is going to.
I'm thinking of as, like thislittle Frankenstein.
Now you're alive, you know, andyou have your own mind and
you're navigating that and Ispent I've spent so much time
building into you, trying tomake you this strong,
(22:01):
independent, smart,unfuckwithable you know young
lady to grow up into.
At the same time, you areactually pouring into your
development now, yeah, and so Ihave to take your pouring into
your own development account andI'm not used to sharing you
with anyone, you know, like I'msharing you with your own mind,
(22:22):
and so that's how I see it.
So I have to kind of detach howI feel.
I detach my feelings from yourdevelopment which isn't a bad
thing, I think it's a healthything.
Feelings from your development,which isn't a bad thing, I
think it's a healthy thing.
Um, because some dads, we areoverbearing all the way until
you're an adult and like we'llbe, you know, being selfish, and
we're like I ain't fucking withyou because now you act like
(22:44):
this, your mama must taught youhow to do this and, like you
know, like a lot of us kind ofdo those things.
But I'm detaching myself.
I've detached myself from howyou feel so that I can focus on
you better, I can develop you,brother, whether than, rather
than reacting to you based onhow I feel right that's what I
wanted to do is react based onhow I feel and I think I did
that before and and the way Ichanged, I was like I gotta, she
(23:06):
needs her dad, she don't need afriend, she needs her dad.
And and I had to be dad, dad,like at it at the core, you know
, yeah, whereas I was a hybrid,I was like dad, friend, fun guy.
No dead and uh, but no, um.
How do you feel these daysabout that stuff, about drugs
(23:29):
and or the approach that we tookto support you?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Um, well, like now I feel like it's like obviously,
like it's like stupid, you know.
Like I feel like like it makes,like I feel like what?
Like the things that you weretalking to me about, like I feel
like in that at that time itwasn't making sense to me or
whatever, but like I feel likenow that I'm like out of it and
(23:54):
stuff like that, like I feellike it makes a lot more sense
and I like really appreciate,like even you just like taking
the time to talk to me and stufflike that, because, you know,
usually people probably justlike send their kids away to
some place or whatever you know,but like you actually took the
time to pour into me and youstill showed that you loved me,
but you were still like.
You still showed that you lovedme, but you were still like.
You still showed that you likeloved and cared about me, but
(24:16):
you also were still like I don'tknow how to explain it Like
making sure.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Making you accountable.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Yeah Like, but yeah Like, I feel like I really
appreciate, like how you tookthat like, took that kind of
initiative.
Yeah, you said it right thefirst time yeah, like I really
appreciate that, rather than youknow, acting like I'm like
(24:44):
acting on your other thoughts oflike sending me like to my
mom's or to rehab or likewherever you know, and yeah,
like, yeah, it could have been.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It was probably been a terrible decision to like put
you on to someone else as ifyou're their problem, whereas
you're not my problem.
This is just a situation.
These are issues.
These are situations.
I have to look at it like everyteen goes through this.
I have to look at it like shit.
I, I went through this, but Ididn't have the same structure
(25:15):
in place that could catch thingsLike that.
If I was doing, I may have beendoing something completely
wrong and it was valid to me,but nobody ever told me, and
sometimes I had to make thosedecisions, those calls myself.
Since I didn't have an adult inmy life, I was like I got to be
extra careful, because if Iscrew up, who's going to come
get me?
If I end up in jail, who'sgoing to come get me?
So, like I had to and likethose are my experiences and it
(25:41):
was irrelevant to you.
Like a lot of us we kind ofthink about oh, like I used to
do this when I was a kid.
It's irrelevant to our children.
Like completely irrelevant whenwe're raising our teens and
even though it's, it has somevalues in there, but like it's
not how you and this is whatI've learned.
(26:01):
When I was you know, in thatmoment, how I redesigned.
How I think is like it's not.
It's not like we could say, oh,there ain't nothing new under
the sun.
Like everybody's going throughthe exact same thing over and
over and over.
Your kids are going through,like just because it's a rite of
passage.
However, it's not the eventsthat's the same, but the
feelings.
The feelings are there.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And I had to retrograde the absence and
understand that there was anabsence of feeling and what I
would have done in that time,and then put myself in a
position like, okay, well, I amhere, how do I react?
Because my grandma would havekicked me out the house.
My mom would have kicked meprobably not kicked me out the
house at the time, I ain't goingto go into that but she
probably wouldn't have kicked meout the house smoking weed.
(26:43):
She probably would have beenlike, okay, you cool, but for
the most part I would have beenkicked out.
I was always threatened to bekicked out and so, like I wanted
to try something different andI'm I'm glad that we did.
I felt and like I've talked to agroup of dads that feel like
this, having a hard time withtheir teenagers, not like about
the details, but I expressed tothem that you know like I'm
(27:06):
going, I've gone through the,I'm going through those things
very freshly and I feel like I'mon the other side of a mountain
of it, still navigating it withcare, but at the same time, I
think that it made ourrelationship better because I
was able to see you for who youare and raise you for how you
are and who you are in your mind, that you have, whatever
(27:28):
reasons you had valid.
I had to start from thereinstead of starting from how I
think you think, how I think youfeel, how I think you feel, and
that was the.
That was a trick, yeah, thetrade.
And so I I appreciate all thework you've put in and I really
thank you for being vulnerableand having this conversation,
because it is not easy to havethis kind of conversation,
(27:51):
because people listen to thispodcast.
Hey, you know, we started thiswhen you were what like five
four, five, six, seven, eightmultiple times multiple times,
but we you know we have a lot ofepisodes when you were just
five and six and here we aretalking about drugs, right?
So, like I appreciate youtaking the time and to be
(28:12):
vulnerable and being bold enoughto have this conversation, I
love that you were outspoken inthis uh, in this episode, and
really, uh, contributive thankyou you used to not talk a lot
in this episode.
I don't know what happened now.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
You know I know I was actually thinking about that
too like I'm like actually like,I'm like finding words, because
before I was like um, I don'tknow, words right, like I feel
like now, like I actually talk alot more, like I don't know,
it's weird yeah, maybe, maybeyou're a podcast host, maybe you
want to come back and join usmaybe a little more often.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yes, possibly possibly talk a little more with
that a little more 15 minutesum no, but anyways thank you
guys for joining us.
This is another episode of 15minutes with dad.
If you found love and joy intothis episode, please share it
with your friend, take it to uh,you know, share it with family
members.
Or even share it with your teenif you want them to hear
(29:08):
mariah's perspective.
And in regards to drugs and fordads, I would urge you for
these.
Next, like, whatever you doafter this episode, one thing
that you have to do is first,attach your emotions from their
growth to start, from wheretheir thoughts and feelings are
and not from where your own.
And three like teach from howyou felt when you were a
(29:31):
teenager and not what you didwhen you were a teenager.
How you felt when you were ateenager and not what you did
when you were a teenager.
It will help them.
It will help you connect andunderstand your teenager better.
And four make sure that youcreate a realm of resources for
them.
Create resources where you haveat school, whether it's like
(29:53):
counselor, whether it's therapy.
Make sure they get someone thatcan talk to them outside of you
, that can communicate to themabout the things that they're
struggling with or even talkabout the core reasons behind it
.
Five help them find their why.
If they have a why not to or awhy to do it, then you have some
information or arsenal toactually help them get to the
place where you think you feellike your child should be.
(30:15):
And those are my five steps tofive ways to navigate drug use
in teenagehood.
So y'all have a good day, love,peace, chicken grease.
Y'all take care.
Bye-bye.
Hey, what's going on?
everybody, this your boy Lyricand it's your girl, mariah and
this is 15 minutes with dad, andtoday we are talking about some
very deep topic that I knowthat all of you fathers are
having some form of an issuewith and I have had a form of an
issue with as well and we areat a stage where I think this
(00:21):
conversation is very important.
But, but we're going to talkabout the D word, not that D
word.
We're going to talk about drugs.
Guys, it didn't go well.
We're going to talk about drugsand the version of
conversations, or conversationsthat we've had, and how we
(00:44):
navigated it and how we continueto navigate it.
It is, um, it is a real factthat kids have, uh, it easier to
get or find it either moreaccessible and more entertaining
and more um, you know, like Idon't even know the word, what
(01:06):
is it?
What would you say?
What would you call it?
Like more acceptable to dodrugs, like it's a normal, like,
and I think drugs has beenaround since before my time,
like you know.
But I think that kids are moreseeking it, no matter where they
are in their life, like as athing, that this is the state of
(01:27):
mind.
That should be, and I'm no kid,so I can't give you a kid
perspective, but I am a dad andI'll give you a dad perspective,
and that's why Mariah has takenit upon herself to grace us
with her presence on thisepisode, to talk about drugs.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hi drugs.
I mean hey, mariah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Stop, that's actually funny.
Hello, so we're going to talkabout drugs today and I don't
know exactly know where to startin this conversation, but I do.
Let's start from um thefoundation.
Can I ask you a couplequestions regarding like in your
(02:16):
experience in high school, likeif you was to give me a ratio,
one out of every.
Well, you know how many out ofevery five people do you know
that are doing some kind ofdrugs, or in taking some kind of
drugs, or even vaping?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I feel like like at my school, I feel about like, um
, like two or three out of fivepeople, because I feel like
every time you go into thebathroom, there's someone in
there vaping and stuff in thebathroom, and like I feel like
it's like kind of obvious,though, like when somebody is,
(02:57):
and I feel like, like most ofthe people in my school do, and
it's like no, like it's not evena secret when people do it,
like it's like everybody knows,like, say, like, if you want to
get something from this person,I mean get something like like
you know, like, just go to thatperson, they'll have something.
You know like, you like likeit's not really a secret on who
(03:19):
doesn't, who like doesn't, orsomething like that.
But I feel like two or threeout of five people, like at my
school, do it wow I know it's alot yeah, I'm pretty sure two
out of three or five people.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
My school did it too, I just didn't know it yeah,
maybe they did.
I mean, I have friends that didit.
Let me stop lying.
I have friends that werepotheads.
I ain't gonna sit here and lieto you, but um, and and and out
of this accessibility of ofdrugs you have.
You have had some form of arun-in with it yourself, correct
(03:52):
?
Yes and how, how or why, or Idon't want to say why do you
feel like you did it, but likewhat were some motivators to do
it?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
um, I think it was like I seen a lot of people
doing it, you know.
And then I was like I, you know, I'm the type of person who's
curious about everything andwant to try everything.
So like I feel like that's kindof what it started from, was
like, oh, I just want to try it.
And after that it was kind oflike like most of my friends did
it.
So like I was like, well, likeit's okay if I were to do it,
(04:28):
and like I didn't want to likebe like that person who, like I
didn't want to be that what isit like the goody two-shoes type
of person, and I feel like,yeah, you don't want to be
singled out as like oh you're,you're too good to do this.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, you're too good to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
That's how they sound that is how they sound.
I figured it.
I figured, I knew it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Exactly how they sound I see that's, see, that's
that intuition.
We know how people sound, uh,um, no and that's, and, and
those are valid points.
I think that a lot of kids uhengage for those reasons.
Those are very some people doit.
They have other reasons on topof those reasons, but those are
(05:09):
typically like your basis foryour introduction to doing it.
How much do you think itaffected your life when you were
doing it?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I think it really affected my life.
I was tired all the time, I hadno motivation for anything, I
was about to quit basketball,Like I feel, like I just didn't
want to do anything.
And it made my mental health golike drastically change.
Like I was good right beforeand then, whenever I started
doing it, like my mental healthwas like horrible, you know.
(05:48):
Mental health was like horrible,you know, and like it was just
like I feel like it also likelike I just I don't even know
how to explain it, but but yeah,like it was just like it, it
really changed everything likemy, it changed my thinking, it
changed like how I was talking,it changed like it literally
changed everything.
I feel like it like kind ofaffected like my face, my, like
my physical appearance as wellyeah and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Like it was, it was yeah yeah, did you feel like it
it like, did you feel like italtered your how you feel about
yourself?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
yeah, definitely self-esteem, like how you see
yourself yeah whereas you weredoing it to feel cool and to
feel accepted and to feel a partof something, and still that
feeling didn't yeah, it neverreally came like the feeling of
cool like I'm like, I feel like,if anything, it just like it
just made me like, like like Iwas, I was doing it to feel cool
(06:52):
, but in reality, like I knew,like it wasn't cool, like like
you know, like that's not coolto do that stuff.
Like it's like it's like stupid,especially at this age, like
like now that I'm out of it,like I understand that, but like
I feel like in the moment whenI was doing it, like it kind of
like not changed my decisionmaking, but I feel like it like
(07:13):
kind of affected it and so likebeing like like, even though I
knew that it wasn't a good thingto do, or it wasn't smart or it
wasn't cool or anything likethat in my head, I still somehow
like convinced myself like itwas fine and that I was cool or
stuff.
You know right, yeah youcouldn't.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It was a check you couldn't cash yeah he's like
thank you for writing this check, but I can't cash it.
No way and and so that I meanthat's those are.
Those are definitely validpoints, and I wanted everyone to
hear your perspective and yourwords of how you experienced
(07:53):
that, and we're going to talkabout what you did or things
that you partaked in to kind ofget off of it or ways to get out
of it.
But I also want to give um aperspective from um the dad's
side on how we navigated it andhow um it impacted me, and so
I'll talk about my experiencewhen I found out that, when that
(08:15):
you were smoking and believe itor not, like I've been around
druggies not calling okay,thanks I've been around people
who do drugs all my life, all mylife and, uh, that's so.
(08:35):
That was terrible, that was bad.
I'm losing listeners for thatanyways.
Um, so I've been around peoplewho do drugs quite literally all
of my life and there was amoment where I was like are you
high?
Yeah, and she was like no.
I was like, oh, you must be.
(08:58):
And I asked her.
I think it was a week straightthat I was just like coming into
her room and just asking herthat Like, are you high, bro?
Like this is weird to me.
I was like are you high?
She's like no, no, I'm not.
Why would you think?
And she was like why you thinkI'm doing drugs?
You always thinking I'm doingthem.
You, you always thinking I'mdoing something you know.
So it was all and I was likeall right, I'll back up, maybe
(09:19):
I'm too hard, I'm back up, Iback up.
And um, that same week youfound out.
And that same week I found outand I lost my mind.
I thought of every like.
I was like I need to send herto a rehab.
I need to send her to a rehab.
(09:42):
I need to like I need to sendit to her mom, I need to disown
this child.
I was trying to figure outevery single solitary solution
that I could.
I went, everything went to myhead.
There was nothing off the tableat that point.
So I was like why is my childhere doing drugs?
I don't do drugs.
The only drugs I have in myhouse is is tylenol and I barely
have that because we haveperiods and headaches all the
time.
So we don't.
I run out pretty, quite often.
(10:04):
So like I'm always at the, I'malways at walgreen, um or cvs.
Need a sponsor.
No, uh, at this point but, but Ithought of like everything
under the sun to make this paingo away, to make this issue go
away, and I had no solution andI was like at my wit's end,
(10:27):
stress the hell out.
Um, to the point, I had to goto therapy like I was like yo, I
need, I need some sessions,like asap, so I can figure this
out.
And I had to kind of bringclarity to myself.
Um, I had to like find claritywithin myself so I can even
guide the solution.
I don't even think I like wehad talks on, talks on, talks on
(10:48):
talks about drugs.
I don't even think I don't.
I would say, I don't think youneed to talk to your child as
much as I talked to Mariah, butI was getting stuff off of my
head.
I was getting thoughts off ofmy head every other, every few,
every like hour or so I hadsomething else to say.
So I was like, hey, come downhere, I need to talk to you, and
so we'll talk about it.
You know, while I was lookingfor therapists and stuff like
(11:09):
that, for her as well, it wasthe most nerve wracking
experience to know that yourchild has decided to put
something in to their body thatyou know, like I'm telling you
Dismariah, but it may.
It rattled me in my soul toknow that you were at a place in
(11:29):
your mind where you felt likeyou could you would like to
excuse me put something insideof you that would harm you
during your development and whenyou're an adult.
You can choose.
I'm not anti-drugs.
I've told you can choose.
I'm not anti-drugs.
I've told you this.
I'm not anti-weed, I am antiother drugs, but I am not
anti-weed.
But for the most part, when itcame to you my child doing drugs
(11:49):
at this age, it was a no-no forme.
And and so what?
After all all, after my panicattack and me talking to her, I
was like, well, let me start aconversation with her about how
drugs impact her, who she is,whereas you think you're chasing
(12:15):
a feeling, and that feelingseems seemingly goes away, but
it actually is bottled, or likeit's actually just blocked off
while it piles up in the back,the background, and I won't get
into you guys getting on to thedetails of that, but like I'm a
part of the I'm a, I'm part ofthe dare, the dare era, the say
(12:37):
no to drugs era, that thatraised me and and I think I'm
one of the million folks thatthat received this, these
programs that it worked on.
But you know, I mean, and Italked to her, I level set it
with you at that time and I toldyou about my experience and
like when I did drugs or likewhen I started now, like times I
(13:00):
was hanging out with my, my, myfriends, who were potheads,
like most of my friends, all ofmy friends were potheads and
some of them still are Um, but Italked to, I talked to you
about how their lives areimpacted by it and how my life
was impacted by it, myexperience.
And I just told her.
(13:21):
I told her this one thing I waslike you just have to find your
why.
And it could be the dumbest whyever, why not to do it or why
to do it, but you have to have awhy.
And I told her when I was inschool, when I had homies, like
I'm sitting in the circle,whatever, you know, puff, puff,
give it, passing it to the left,pass the dutchie to the right.
I don't know if it was to theleft-hand side or the right-hand
(13:43):
side from that song, butanyways, you know, passing it
through the circle and it wouldcome to me and I was like, nah,
bro, I'm good.
But I would always have to givesome kind of reason because
they'd be like no good man, Igot something to do tomorrow, or
I have this and this and this,and for a huge part of the time
it's like no man, I got adaughter on the way or something
.
It was always something.
(14:04):
But I kept a reasoning on why Ididn't do it.
Oh, I got to take a drug testsoon, so I'm not going to do it.
But I had a why and I toldMariah about that, why I told
you about that why?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What is your why?
Well, I don't remember what mywhy was like at that time, but I
feel like, like my thecounselor actually asked me that
I think like two sessions ago,but like she asked me what my
why is, and I feel like now mywhy is like it affects other
people.
It affects people like, likeother than me, you know like
before, before I didn't think itaffected other people.
(14:45):
You know, I'm like, well, it'sjust like me doing it, so like I
don't know, I don't see how itwould affect other people.
But I realized, like after, likeall of that happened, I
realized like it affected, likeit affected you as well, you
know yeah and it like so, likelike thinking that I feel like
that, like kind of like Ibecause I didn't really like
(15:07):
even though I know I didn't likereally show it, but I hated
seeing you in pain like that,you know, and I hated that I
like caused you that much painso like I feel like that is like
my why now?
Because it's affecting otherpeople outside of myself and
causing pain on other peoplethat I love.
That I obviously don't wantthat.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah seems like you got a heart.
Where is this teenager coming?
from I'm glad what's today.
We're gonna mark this in thecalendars as the day of the lord
, the year of the lord, 2024,december 23rd.
Um, no, I appreciate that.
Um, I really do appreciate that.
(15:47):
And whatever your why is and itdoesn't have to make sense to
anybody, but as long as it makessense to you and you hold on to
that and I'll be your why, aslong as you need me to be your
why, you know, and um, but tothe point where you mentioned
you mentioned something about uhto having a counselor, right,
and so, um, these, this, let'sget into the phase of, like,
what we did as a solution afterwe talked about those things and
(16:11):
I mean, when I was, I wasdramatic about, I was
unapologetic about it like we,um, you know, we talked to she,
you know, got her a counselor.
Um, worked on finding atherapist in the uh in the area,
local area, a local therapistin the area to help support her
outside the school, but thecounselor inside the school also
(16:31):
had a drug counselor inside theschool and so mariah meets with
the counselor when she needs tobut also have a drug counselor
that's helping her support andMariah is going to those things
and that's kind of the supportthat you have in school while
going through the pressures ofthese different things.
(16:52):
And I just want to be reallyclear Like kids, teenagers have
a lot of stress.
Can you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Definitely yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And they have a lot of pressure and a lot of stress,
even though they don't paybills.
I said everything in the bookbut when I thought about all the
things that I talked to youabout, I realized half of that
shit don't even matter.
After talking to her for fourdays, five hours out of each day
(17:25):
, I was like you probably won'ttake anything, like you probably
will take 90% of whatever thehell I said to you in the last
five days.
But if anything that you cantake out of what I said and I
gave her a very synthesizedcouple sentences if anything you
(17:45):
can take that I love you and Icare about your wellbeing, I
don't.
I I do not accept that my childis doing drugs.
At your age, when you're anadult, you choose what you want
to do and that's fine.
But as your brain is developing, it is unacceptable in my
household that you smoke weedand we kind of like started from
(18:10):
there.
But all in all, her goal to yourgoal, to your goal, let me tell
I'm talking to you all I know,I'm usually talking to myself,
so I'm looking at the microphonewhile I'm talking it is because
you used to be, you know, nevermind.
But, all in all, that journey isyours to take, right.
(18:31):
At the end of the day, you'regoing to choose every day to do
drugs or not, to do weed or not,to smoke or not like to vape or
not.
You choose that.
All I can do is create anenvironment where you feel
supported to not do that.
And so I'm not going to dads.
You may you may have a teen inyour life that's doing this
(18:55):
stuff and you may not even knowit.
You may suspect it.
If you suspect it, dive deeperjust to make sure, because they
need it.
Kids it is a proven fact thatkids that are doing drugs are
more likely to be either hooked.
Doing drugs are more likely tobe either hooked to be less
(19:21):
successful Not only call it lesssuccessful but less caring
about the end game or the endgoal or the future Due to their
brain still in developmentduring the time that they're
doing drugs.
It is not okay for teens to dodrugs, and I I'm a firm believer
.
You know I'm not.
Like I said, I'm not anti-weed.
(19:41):
I don't smoke it, but I'm notanti-weed.
But for my, for my kids, it'snot a thing.
Um, I also had a friend talk toyou as well yeah um, and she
also kind of we grew up togethera friend of mine, vanessa
bonnie what's up?
Shout out to bonnie.
I have impressed it in so longit's been a long.
(20:09):
Yeah, you couldn't even rememberwhich one of these buttons is
it?
Uh, but shout out to Vanibecause she saw how disrupted I
was, how jacked up I was, andshe was like this is not the
Eric.
I know, this is not the person,this is not the father that
I've known you to ever be, and Iwas defeated.
(20:32):
I ain't going to lie.
I told you, mariah, I wasdefeated.
I ain't gonna lie like I I told.
I told you, mariah, I was like,I was like bro, look,
congratulations you, you did it.
you broke me like oh my gosh,when you said that, that like I
was so sad it's, it's a, it's areal deal like somebody's some
dads, even like myself, we cantake anything from the world,
(20:53):
but, like from my baby girl, tolike it's, it's.
We're fragile, fragile like wecan take anybody outside of this
house taking a crack at us.
We can fight any of them.
We can't fight you, you can'tfight our little girls.
And I was like, bro, uh, youbroke me.
Bro, I can't do it.
(21:15):
I had to reset, I had tore-figure out my life.
At that point and I think mostof you, some of you dads, are
like that, but we love our kids.
And the thing that I didpersonally, and it was like I
had to separate my feelings fromyour development, right,
(21:38):
feelings from your development,right, like everything about you
, I've everything I've pouredinto you over these years.
I was attached to because I'mlike, oh my God, I'm doing this
and this is going to.
You know, give her this andthis is going to.
I'm thinking of as, like thislittle Frankenstein.
Now you're alive, you know, andyou have your own mind and
you're navigating that and Ispent I've spent so much time
building into you, trying tomake you this strong,
(22:01):
independent, smart,unfuckwithable you know young
lady to grow up into.
At the same time, you areactually pouring into your
development now, yeah, and so Ihave to take your pouring into
your own development account andI'm not used to sharing you
with anyone, you know, like I'msharing you with your own mind,
(22:22):
and so that's how I see it.
So I have to kind of detach howI feel.
I detach my feelings from yourdevelopment which isn't a bad
thing, I think it's a healthything.
Feelings from your development,which isn't a bad thing, I
think it's a healthy thing.
Um, because some dads, we areoverbearing all the way until
you're an adult and like we'llbe, you know, being selfish, and
we're like I ain't fucking withyou because now you act like
(22:44):
this, your mama must taught youhow to do this and, like you
know, like a lot of us kind ofdo those things.
But I'm detaching myself.
I've detached myself from howyou feel so that I can focus on
you better, I can develop you,brother, whether than, rather
than reacting to you based onhow I feel right that's what I
wanted to do is react based onhow I feel and I think I did
that before and and the way Ichanged, I was like I gotta, she
(23:06):
needs her dad, she don't need afriend, she needs her dad.
And and I had to be dad, dad,like at it at the core, you know
, yeah, whereas I was a hybrid,I was like dad, friend, fun guy.
No dead and uh, but no, um.
How do you feel these daysabout that stuff, about drugs
(23:29):
and or the approach that we tookto support you?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Um, well, like now I feel like it's like obviously,
like it's like stupid, you know.
Like I feel like like it makes,like I feel like what?
Like the things that you weretalking to me about, like I feel
like in that at that time itwasn't making sense to me or
whatever, but like I feel likenow that I'm like out of it and
(23:54):
stuff like that, like I feellike it makes a lot more sense
and I like really appreciate,like even you just like taking
the time to talk to me and stufflike that, because, you know,
usually people probably justlike send their kids away to
some place or whatever you know,but like you actually took the
time to pour into me and youstill showed that you loved me,
but you were still like.
You still showed that you lovedme, but you were still like.
You still showed that you likeloved and cared about me, but
(24:16):
you also were still like I don'tknow how to explain it Like
making sure.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Making you accountable.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Yeah Like, but yeah Like, I feel like I really
appreciate, like how you tookthat like, took that kind of
initiative.
Yeah, you said it right thefirst time yeah, like I really
appreciate that, rather than youknow, acting like I'm like
(24:44):
acting on your other thoughts oflike sending me like to my
mom's or to rehab or likewherever you know, and yeah,
like, yeah, it could have been.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It was probably been a terrible decision to like put
you on to someone else as ifyou're their problem, whereas
you're not my problem.
This is just a situation.
These are issues.
These are situations.
I have to look at it like everyteen goes through this.
I have to look at it like shit.
I, I went through this, but Ididn't have the same structure
(25:15):
in place that could catch thingsLike that.
If I was doing, I may have beendoing something completely
wrong and it was valid to me,but nobody ever told me, and
sometimes I had to make thosedecisions, those calls myself.
Since I didn't have an adult inmy life, I was like I got to be
extra careful, because if Iscrew up, who's going to come
get me?
If I end up in jail, who'sgoing to come get me?
So, like I had to and likethose are my experiences and it
(25:41):
was irrelevant to you.
Like a lot of us we kind ofthink about oh, like I used to
do this when I was a kid.
It's irrelevant to our children.
Like completely irrelevant whenwe're raising our teens and
even though it's, it has somevalues in there, but like it's
not how you and this is whatI've learned.
(26:01):
When I was you know, in thatmoment, how I redesigned.
How I think is like it's not.
It's not like we could say, oh,there ain't nothing new under
the sun.
Like everybody's going throughthe exact same thing over and
over and over.
Your kids are going through,like just because it's a rite of
passage.
However, it's not the eventsthat's the same, but the
feelings.
The feelings are there.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And I had to retrograde the absence and
understand that there was anabsence of feeling and what I
would have done in that time,and then put myself in a
position like, okay, well, I amhere, how do I react?
Because my grandma would havekicked me out the house.
My mom would have kicked meprobably not kicked me out the
house at the time, I ain't goingto go into that but she
probably wouldn't have kicked meout the house smoking weed.
(26:43):
She probably would have beenlike, okay, you cool, but for
the most part I would have beenkicked out.
I was always threatened to bekicked out and so, like I wanted
to try something different andI'm I'm glad that we did.
I felt and like I've talked to agroup of dads that feel like
this, having a hard time withtheir teenagers, not like about
the details, but I expressed tothem that you know like I'm
(27:06):
going, I've gone through the,I'm going through those things
very freshly and I feel like I'mon the other side of a mountain
of it, still navigating it withcare, but at the same time, I
think that it made ourrelationship better because I
was able to see you for who youare and raise you for how you
are and who you are in your mind, that you have, whatever
(27:28):
reasons you had valid.
I had to start from thereinstead of starting from how I
think you think, how I think youfeel, how I think you feel, and
that was the.
That was a trick, yeah, thetrade.
And so I I appreciate all thework you've put in and I really
thank you for being vulnerableand having this conversation,
because it is not easy to havethis kind of conversation,
(27:51):
because people listen to thispodcast.
Hey, you know, we started thiswhen you were what like five
four, five, six, seven, eightmultiple times multiple times,
but we you know we have a lot ofepisodes when you were just
five and six and here we aretalking about drugs, right?
So, like I appreciate youtaking the time and to be
(28:12):
vulnerable and being bold enoughto have this conversation, I
love that you were outspoken inthis uh, in this episode, and
really, uh, contributive thankyou you used to not talk a lot
in this episode.
I don't know what happened now.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
You know I know I was actually thinking about that
too like I'm like actually like,I'm like finding words, because
before I was like um, I don'tknow, words right, like I feel
like now, like I actually talk alot more, like I don't know,
it's weird yeah, maybe, maybeyou're a podcast host, maybe you
want to come back and join usmaybe a little more often.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yes, possibly possibly talk a little more with
that a little more 15 minutesum no, but anyways thank you
guys for joining us.
This is another episode of 15minutes with dad.
If you found love and joy intothis episode, please share it
with your friend, take it to uh,you know, share it with family
members.
Or even share it with your teenif you want them to hear
(29:08):
mariah's perspective.
And in regards to drugs and fordads, I would urge you for
these.
Next, like, whatever you doafter this episode, one thing
that you have to do is first,attach your emotions from their
growth to start, from wheretheir thoughts and feelings are
and not from where your own.
And three like teach from howyou felt when you were a
(29:31):
teenager and not what you didwhen you were a teenager.
How you felt when you were ateenager and not what you did
when you were a teenager.
It will help them.
It will help you connect andunderstand your teenager better.
And four make sure that youcreate a realm of resources for
them.
Create resources where you haveat school, whether it's like
(29:53):
counselor, whether it's therapy.
Make sure they get someone thatcan talk to them outside of you
, that can communicate to themabout the things that they're
struggling with or even talkabout the core reasons behind it
.
Five help them find their why.
If they have a why not to or awhy to do it, then you have some
information or arsenal toactually help them get to the
place where you think you feellike your child should be.
(30:15):
And those are my five steps tofive ways to navigate drug use
in teenagehood.
So y'all have a good day, love,peace, chicken grease.
Y'all take care.
Bye-bye.
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