February 14, 2025 • 16 mins
Ever feel like you have to hide your emotions just to keep it together as a father?
In this powerful episode of 15 Minutes with Dad, host Lirec Williams invites you to explore what it really means to be an emotionally resilient father in a world that often expects men to lead without feeling. Drawing inspiration from Jim Murphy’s Inner Excellence, we unpack how to transform emotional turmoil into lasting mental clarity, inner strength, and peace of mind.
If you’ve ever felt burned out, disconnected, or unsure of how to show up for your family while staying true to yourself, this is your blueprint for change.
🧠 Inside this episode, you'll gain:
- Proven strategies to replace emotional suppression with supportive communication and authentic self-expression
- Practical tools to build healthy habits that boost energy, focus, and emotional stability
- A breakdown of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a modern parenting framework for showing up as your best self
- How cycle awareness and grateful parenting can shift your perspective during stressful seasons
- The connection between self-care for dads and raising emotionally grounded children
By meeting your own needs—emotionally, mentally, and physically—you create the space to lead with intention, compassion, and clarity. This episode speaks directly to the man who wants to be more than just a provider—it’s for the dad who wants to be present, purposeful, and peaceful.
🎯 Whether you're navigating toddler tantrums, teenage silence, or co-parenting transitions, this episode offers real-world guidance rooted in transformative parenting principles and supportive fatherhood practices.
📲 Subscribe to 15 Minutes with Dad and visit 15minuteswithdad.com for free resources on emotional healing, family empowerment, and developing a fatherhood identity rooted in strength and truth.
🎧 Listen now—and take one small, courageous step toward becoming the father your kids will remember for how deeply you loved, not just
Stay Connected with 15 Minutes with Dad:
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Host
- Instagram: @ToldbyLirec
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Thank you for joining us on this transformative journey! Together, we're breaking barriers and fostering a community of healing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of 15 Minutes
with Dad, the podcast that givesyou practical tools, real
conversation and transformativestrategies to help you grow as a
father, a leader and a man.
I'm your host, lyric Williams,a career visual and performing
artist, professional data expert, author and, most importantly,
(00:20):
I'm a father who's beennavigating the ups and downs of
a blended family life with fourkids.
Today we're diving into episodethree of the U2.0 series
Mastering the Inner Game,emotional Resilience and Mental
Clarity.
Let's be real life as a fatherisn't just about handling
responsibilities.
It's about handling emotions,setbacks and stress in a way
(00:44):
that keeps us present and strongfor ourselves and our children.
But how do we do that when lifekeeps throwing challenges our
way?
That's exactly what we're goingto unpack in today's episode.
So today is going to be areally tough episode because
we're going to be talking aboutemotional resilience, but we're
(01:06):
going to first try to dive inwhat is it and then we're going
to talk about why it matters.
So, as men, we're often taughtto push through, to be strong,
to man up when life gets tough.
But let me ask you, how's thatworking out?
Bottling up emotions, ignoringstress, trying to tough it out
(01:26):
alone?
Here's the truth Emotionalresilience isn't about
suppressing emotions.
It's about mastering them.
So mental clarity isn't abouthaving all the answers.
It's about being able tonavigate chaos with a steady
mind.
Emotional resilience is theability to recover quickly from
setbacks, to adapt to stress andto keep moving forward even
(01:49):
when life doesn't go as planned.
Mental clarity is about stayingfocused, making wise decisions
and cutting through mental noiseso you can show up as your best
self.
And experts agree Jim Murphy andhis book Inner Excellence.
I keep going back to this book.
It's a great book.
That's what this YouTube.0 isall about the inner excellence
(02:10):
and the tools of extraordinarypeople.
But in his book InnerExcellence, jim Murphy talks
about how great athletes and howperformers succeed not just
because of their skills, butbecause of their ability to
control their thoughts andemotions.
He says your mind is like agarden Whatever you plant grows.
Plant doubt, fear andnegativity, and that's what will
(02:35):
flourish.
Plant discipline, focus andgratitude, and you will thrive.
This applies directly tofatherhood.
When we learn to master ourthoughts and our emotions, we
become better role models,better partners and better men.
So let's talk about how fathersoften struggle with this and
(02:55):
what we can do to change that.
It's time to dive a little bitdeeper.
So bear with me.
First thing I want to do is Iwant to break it down and let's
talk about why do so manyfathers struggle with emotional
resilience?
The first thing I would say isthat we carry the weight of
responsibility Bills, schedules,work, stress, co-parenting
(03:17):
dynamics.
Sometimes it feels like there'sno room for feelings.
Another reason I would saywe've been conditioned to
suppress emotions.
Maybe we were taught thatshowing emotions makes us weak,
so we bury them instead ofdealing with them.
I think this is something that,as men, we all can agree with,
because we all have somehow gonethrough this and for some of us
(03:38):
, maybe you had emotionallyintelligent parents, but coming
from a generation of if you'rein your mid-30s or late 20s to
mid-30s, or maybe even in your40s and above, you kind of have
the same suppress your emotions,learning skills or techniques.
Another reason I would say isthat we don't always have an
(03:59):
outlet.
We give everything to ourfamilies and to our village, but
when was the last time weactually took time to recharge
on our own minds?
We tend to pour into people andpour into people around us, but
we don't require anything backbecause we feel like we're a
burden of some sort.
And I had a talk with mytherapist some time ago.
(04:23):
I'm always going to refer backto this because I'm in therapy
actively.
But essentially my therapisttold me he was like when you
have friends, people feel likefriends when you give them the
opportunity to serve you.
Like if you don't call yourfriends and say, hey, I actually
need you, how can they reallyprove to you that they're your
(04:44):
friend?
For me, that's my avoidantattachment, that I've kind of
learned to navigate people withthat I'm also working through,
and so I just want to leave youwith that.
Let your friends be involved.
Let them be an outlet for you.
Another thing is and whathappens when we ignore these
(05:06):
struggles for emotionalresilience?
We become reactive instead ofintentional.
We let anger, stress andfrustration dictate our actions.
We struggle to connect with ourkids emotionally because we're
too burnt out, working too hard.
We don't really take time toreally just to understand their
(05:28):
emotions or understand theemotions that are going on
around us and show patience andshow presence in those moments.
So how do we shift this?
How do we go from beingoverwhelmed to being in control?
Let's turn back to innerexcellence and explore five key
strategies to master our innergame.
Jim Murphy's inner excellenceis all about developing a strong
(05:51):
mindset and emotionaldiscipline to succeed under
pressure.
Here are five powerful lessonsfrom the book that fathers can
apply to building emotionalresilience and mental clarity.
So one control your mind.
Control your life.
What happens without it?
If your mind is filled withnegativity, stress, self-doubt
(06:12):
your actions will literallyfollow that.
Stress, self-doubt, youractions will literally follow
that.
And what you can do is yourthoughts create your reality.
You have to train your mindlike an athlete trains their
body, and I'm actively doingthis and I'm pouring this also
into my family.
If you want to check out thebook, it's Tim Murphy's In
Excellence.
How do you apply it as a dad?
(06:34):
Start your day with a mentalcheck-in Instead of reaching for
your phone first.
Spend five minutes focusing onthree things you're grateful for
and setting a calm tone for theday.
For me, something that I do isthat I wake up.
I sit there on the edge of mybed, I take four to five deep
(06:54):
breaths, I roll my neck around,let my muscles kind of activate,
do a little stretching whileI'm sitting there before I get
up and I think about the lovedones that I, you know, that made
it through the night that I getto love on today and the grace
that I get to show them in that,during this new day that we
(07:15):
have, and how I get to be abetter dad than I was yesterday
and a better partner than I wasyesterday.
Another lesson you can apply isrespond, don't react.
Don't react and this issomething I had to train myself
very hard on.
When life gets tough, we snap,we yell, we shut down, we make
(07:39):
impulsive decisions, we getupset, but great performers
don't react emotionally, theyrespond strategically.
So I'm very adamant about how Ispeak and the things that come
out of my mouth, and I teachthis to my family.
I talk about it in many of myepisodes.
I talk about how our wordsmatter and before and I caused a
(08:02):
lot of issues in myrelationship because I was
reacting instead of responding Iwould, like you know, upset
somebody in my family and thenI'm trying to like talk them
through how I think they shouldfeel, because my intentions were
this and I didn't mean to dothis and this wasn't what I was
trying to do and like reallyexplaining myself but not giving
(08:23):
them time to actually processthe information, and so what
allows me to now respond is thefact that I take a breath.
I say one line of a thing, andif I can't say it in one line
then it's not worth saying so.
Next time your child pushesyour buttons, just take a pause,
take a deep breath beforeresponding.
(08:49):
That two-second pause can bethe difference between a
regretful reaction and ameaningful teaching moment.
When I tell you I have kids inall age groups that are testing,
I have a 10-year-old that testsboundaries, love him.
Tell you, I have kids in allage groups that are testing.
I have a 10-year-old that testsboundaries, love him to death.
I got a four-year-old exitingthe toddler stage, literally
testing every single boundarythat exists around him.
(09:09):
And then I have a baby like oneand a half and he's testing
things to see how they work.
And then I got a teenager wholiterally strategically presses
buttons whenever she gets achance to.
So I am always on this buttonpushing fiasco, but it's really
important as a father, in any ofthese times in their life, that
(09:33):
I take a breath and make surethat I'm not sporadically
reacting to anyone.
When my mental health is jackedup, my house's mental health.
Entire home is jacked upbecause of my simple mental
health and I literally had tofocus on this.
This was a training point forme.
Another lesson you can use isto train your focus like a
(09:57):
muscle.
When you're mentally scattered,we get distracted and struggle
to be present.
The mind can be trained tofocus, just like a muscle can be
trained to get stronger.
So set some tech-free timesduring the day, where you put
your phone away and give yourfull attention to your kids.
Even 15 minutes of fullpresence is more powerful than
(10:17):
hours of distracted time.
You can shift your perspectiveon challenges.
We see hardships as obstaclesand get discouraged when things
don't go our way.
Challenges aren't meant tobreak you.
They're meant to strengthen you.
So the next time you're feelingoverwhelmed, ask yourself what
is this challenge teaching meand how can I grow from this?
(10:38):
You change your mindset.
You change your results.
And the last lesson isprioritize rest and recovery.
You need to rest and recover.
You cannot perform at your bestself as a dad if you're burnt
out, exhausted or irritable.
We pour everything into ourfamilies, but don't forget to
refill your own cup.
(10:59):
Rest isn't a luxury.
It's a necessity for peakperformance.
Set non-negotiable me time,whether it's waking up early to
read, going for a run, simplysitting in silence for a few
minutes your mental claritydepends on it.
So for me, something that I do,like I said before, I go, like
I wake up in the morning and Ido my last little stretch.
(11:20):
Nobody's awake yet, or maybesomebody's at school, but I'm
uninterrupted and I go and I sitdown, I drink a glass of water
and I just breathe, kind of getmy breath, and I'm trying to
make sure that I get a good,nice rest by making sure that
I'm not going to sleep thinkingabout everything I need to do
tomorrow.
I create a list of things I'mgoing to do the next day so I'm
(11:43):
not waking up with decisionfatigue and it kind of helps me
set my day by resting andrecovering.
Fatherhood isn't just aboutproviding.
It's about leading, guiding andshowing up with strength and
clarity.
Today we explored how emotionalresilience and mental clarity
can change the way we navigatefatherhood, and we broke down
(12:06):
five lessons from innerexcellence to help you master
your inner game.
So here's your challenge Pickone of these five lessons and
apply it this week, whether it'sstarting your day with a
gratitude check-in, pausingbefore reacting or setting tech
free time.
Take that small step towardbecoming a more intentional,
present father.
If you're enjoying this series,make sure you visit
(12:28):
15minuteswithdadcom for moreinsights, exercises and ways to
apply these principles to yourdaily life.
Next week, we're going to betalking about how to build your
foundation, meeting your basicneeds as a father, and we're
going to be applying Maslow'shierarchy of needs to really get
into it so that you understandyour life as a father.
As we discuss the importance ofmeeting personal, emotional and
(12:50):
physical needs to be fullypresent for your family, the key
topics are going to beunderstanding how basic needs
safety, belonging, self-esteemaffect your ability to thrive,
and practical strategies toensure you're taking care of
your health, relationship andpersonal growth.
You don't want to miss this, sosubscribe to 15 Minutes with
Dad on your favorite podcastplatform.
(13:11):
Make sure that you rate thispodcast, because when you rate
this podcast, you let otherpeople know that you love it and
they should love it too.
So follow us on social media.
15 Minutes with Dad for morefatherhood insights.
Until next time, keep your mindstrong, your heart open and
your presence intentional.
Welcome back to another episode of 15 Minutes
with Dad, the podcast that givesyou practical tools, real
conversation and transformativestrategies to help you grow as a
father, a leader and a man.
I'm your host, lyric Williams,a career visual and performing
artist, professional data expert, author and, most importantly,
(00:20):
I'm a father who's beennavigating the ups and downs of
a blended family life with fourkids.
Today we're diving into episodethree of the U2.0 series
Mastering the Inner Game,emotional Resilience and Mental
Clarity.
Let's be real life as a fatherisn't just about handling
responsibilities.
It's about handling emotions,setbacks and stress in a way
(00:44):
that keeps us present and strongfor ourselves and our children.
But how do we do that when lifekeeps throwing challenges our
way?
That's exactly what we're goingto unpack in today's episode.
So today is going to be areally tough episode because
we're going to be talking aboutemotional resilience, but we're
(01:06):
going to first try to dive inwhat is it and then we're going
to talk about why it matters.
So, as men, we're often taughtto push through, to be strong,
to man up when life gets tough.
But let me ask you, how's thatworking out?
Bottling up emotions, ignoringstress, trying to tough it out
(01:26):
alone?
Here's the truth Emotionalresilience isn't about
suppressing emotions.
It's about mastering them.
So mental clarity isn't abouthaving all the answers.
It's about being able tonavigate chaos with a steady
mind.
Emotional resilience is theability to recover quickly from
setbacks, to adapt to stress andto keep moving forward even
(01:49):
when life doesn't go as planned.
Mental clarity is about stayingfocused, making wise decisions
and cutting through mental noiseso you can show up as your best
self.
And experts agree Jim Murphy andhis book Inner Excellence.
I keep going back to this book.
It's a great book.
That's what this YouTube.0 isall about the inner excellence
(02:10):
and the tools of extraordinarypeople.
But in his book InnerExcellence, jim Murphy talks
about how great athletes and howperformers succeed not just
because of their skills, butbecause of their ability to
control their thoughts andemotions.
He says your mind is like agarden Whatever you plant grows.
Plant doubt, fear andnegativity, and that's what will
(02:35):
flourish.
Plant discipline, focus andgratitude, and you will thrive.
This applies directly tofatherhood.
When we learn to master ourthoughts and our emotions, we
become better role models,better partners and better men.
So let's talk about how fathersoften struggle with this and
(02:55):
what we can do to change that.
It's time to dive a little bitdeeper.
So bear with me.
First thing I want to do is Iwant to break it down and let's
talk about why do so manyfathers struggle with emotional
resilience?
The first thing I would say isthat we carry the weight of
responsibility Bills, schedules,work, stress, co-parenting
(03:17):
dynamics.
Sometimes it feels like there'sno room for feelings.
Another reason I would saywe've been conditioned to
suppress emotions.
Maybe we were taught thatshowing emotions makes us weak,
so we bury them instead ofdealing with them.
I think this is something that,as men, we all can agree with,
because we all have somehow gonethrough this and for some of us
(03:38):
, maybe you had emotionallyintelligent parents, but coming
from a generation of if you'rein your mid-30s or late 20s to
mid-30s, or maybe even in your40s and above, you kind of have
the same suppress your emotions,learning skills or techniques.
Another reason I would say isthat we don't always have an
(03:59):
outlet.
We give everything to ourfamilies and to our village, but
when was the last time weactually took time to recharge
on our own minds?
We tend to pour into people andpour into people around us, but
we don't require anything backbecause we feel like we're a
burden of some sort.
And I had a talk with mytherapist some time ago.
(04:23):
I'm always going to refer backto this because I'm in therapy
actively.
But essentially my therapisttold me he was like when you
have friends, people feel likefriends when you give them the
opportunity to serve you.
Like if you don't call yourfriends and say, hey, I actually
need you, how can they reallyprove to you that they're your
(04:44):
friend?
For me, that's my avoidantattachment, that I've kind of
learned to navigate people withthat I'm also working through,
and so I just want to leave youwith that.
Let your friends be involved.
Let them be an outlet for you.
Another thing is and whathappens when we ignore these
(05:06):
struggles for emotionalresilience?
We become reactive instead ofintentional.
We let anger, stress andfrustration dictate our actions.
We struggle to connect with ourkids emotionally because we're
too burnt out, working too hard.
We don't really take time toreally just to understand their
(05:28):
emotions or understand theemotions that are going on
around us and show patience andshow presence in those moments.
So how do we shift this?
How do we go from beingoverwhelmed to being in control?
Let's turn back to innerexcellence and explore five key
strategies to master our innergame.
Jim Murphy's inner excellenceis all about developing a strong
(05:51):
mindset and emotionaldiscipline to succeed under
pressure.
Here are five powerful lessonsfrom the book that fathers can
apply to building emotionalresilience and mental clarity.
So one control your mind.
Control your life.
What happens without it?
If your mind is filled withnegativity, stress, self-doubt
(06:12):
your actions will literallyfollow that.
Stress, self-doubt, youractions will literally follow
that.
And what you can do is yourthoughts create your reality.
You have to train your mindlike an athlete trains their
body, and I'm actively doingthis and I'm pouring this also
into my family.
If you want to check out thebook, it's Tim Murphy's In
Excellence.
How do you apply it as a dad?
(06:34):
Start your day with a mentalcheck-in Instead of reaching for
your phone first.
Spend five minutes focusing onthree things you're grateful for
and setting a calm tone for theday.
For me, something that I do isthat I wake up.
I sit there on the edge of mybed, I take four to five deep
(06:54):
breaths, I roll my neck around,let my muscles kind of activate,
do a little stretching whileI'm sitting there before I get
up and I think about the lovedones that I, you know, that made
it through the night that I getto love on today and the grace
that I get to show them in that,during this new day that we
(07:15):
have, and how I get to be abetter dad than I was yesterday
and a better partner than I wasyesterday.
Another lesson you can apply isrespond, don't react.
Don't react and this issomething I had to train myself
very hard on.
When life gets tough, we snap,we yell, we shut down, we make
(07:39):
impulsive decisions, we getupset, but great performers
don't react emotionally, theyrespond strategically.
So I'm very adamant about how Ispeak and the things that come
out of my mouth, and I teachthis to my family.
I talk about it in many of myepisodes.
I talk about how our wordsmatter and before and I caused a
(08:02):
lot of issues in myrelationship because I was
reacting instead of responding Iwould, like you know, upset
somebody in my family and thenI'm trying to like talk them
through how I think they shouldfeel, because my intentions were
this and I didn't mean to dothis and this wasn't what I was
trying to do and like reallyexplaining myself but not giving
(08:23):
them time to actually processthe information, and so what
allows me to now respond is thefact that I take a breath.
I say one line of a thing, andif I can't say it in one line
then it's not worth saying so.
Next time your child pushesyour buttons, just take a pause,
take a deep breath beforeresponding.
(08:49):
That two-second pause can bethe difference between a
regretful reaction and ameaningful teaching moment.
When I tell you I have kids inall age groups that are testing,
I have a 10-year-old that testsboundaries, love him.
Tell you, I have kids in allage groups that are testing.
I have a 10-year-old that testsboundaries, love him to death.
I got a four-year-old exitingthe toddler stage, literally
testing every single boundarythat exists around him.
(09:09):
And then I have a baby like oneand a half and he's testing
things to see how they work.
And then I got a teenager wholiterally strategically presses
buttons whenever she gets achance to.
So I am always on this buttonpushing fiasco, but it's really
important as a father, in any ofthese times in their life, that
(09:33):
I take a breath and make surethat I'm not sporadically
reacting to anyone.
When my mental health is jackedup, my house's mental health.
Entire home is jacked upbecause of my simple mental
health and I literally had tofocus on this.
This was a training point forme.
Another lesson you can use isto train your focus like a
(09:57):
muscle.
When you're mentally scattered,we get distracted and struggle
to be present.
The mind can be trained tofocus, just like a muscle can be
trained to get stronger.
So set some tech-free timesduring the day, where you put
your phone away and give yourfull attention to your kids.
Even 15 minutes of fullpresence is more powerful than
(10:17):
hours of distracted time.
You can shift your perspectiveon challenges.
We see hardships as obstaclesand get discouraged when things
don't go our way.
Challenges aren't meant tobreak you.
They're meant to strengthen you.
So the next time you're feelingoverwhelmed, ask yourself what
is this challenge teaching meand how can I grow from this?
(10:38):
You change your mindset.
You change your results.
And the last lesson isprioritize rest and recovery.
You need to rest and recover.
You cannot perform at your bestself as a dad if you're burnt
out, exhausted or irritable.
We pour everything into ourfamilies, but don't forget to
refill your own cup.
(10:59):
Rest isn't a luxury.
It's a necessity for peakperformance.
Set non-negotiable me time,whether it's waking up early to
read, going for a run, simplysitting in silence for a few
minutes your mental claritydepends on it.
So for me, something that I do,like I said before, I go, like
I wake up in the morning and Ido my last little stretch.
(11:20):
Nobody's awake yet, or maybesomebody's at school, but I'm
uninterrupted and I go and I sitdown, I drink a glass of water
and I just breathe, kind of getmy breath, and I'm trying to
make sure that I get a good,nice rest by making sure that
I'm not going to sleep thinkingabout everything I need to do
tomorrow.
I create a list of things I'mgoing to do the next day so I'm
(11:43):
not waking up with decisionfatigue and it kind of helps me
set my day by resting andrecovering.
Fatherhood isn't just aboutproviding.
It's about leading, guiding andshowing up with strength and
clarity.
Today we explored how emotionalresilience and mental clarity
can change the way we navigatefatherhood, and we broke down
(12:06):
five lessons from innerexcellence to help you master
your inner game.
So here's your challenge Pickone of these five lessons and
apply it this week, whether it'sstarting your day with a
gratitude check-in, pausingbefore reacting or setting tech
free time.
Take that small step towardbecoming a more intentional,
present father.
If you're enjoying this series,make sure you visit
(12:28):
15minuteswithdadcom for moreinsights, exercises and ways to
apply these principles to yourdaily life.
Next week, we're going to betalking about how to build your
foundation, meeting your basicneeds as a father, and we're
going to be applying Maslow'shierarchy of needs to really get
into it so that you understandyour life as a father.
As we discuss the importance ofmeeting personal, emotional and
(12:50):
physical needs to be fullypresent for your family, the key
topics are going to beunderstanding how basic needs
safety, belonging, self-esteemaffect your ability to thrive,
and practical strategies toensure you're taking care of
your health, relationship andpersonal growth.
You don't want to miss this, sosubscribe to 15 Minutes with
Dad on your favorite podcastplatform.
(13:11):
Make sure that you rate thispodcast, because when you rate
this podcast, you let otherpeople know that you love it and
they should love it too.
So follow us on social media.
15 Minutes with Dad for morefatherhood insights.
Until next time, keep your mindstrong, your heart open and
your presence intentional.
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