Turning Adversity into Growth: A 6-Step Framework.

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Explore how fathers can leverage adversity for personal development.

The journey of fatherhood often feels overwhelming, filled with challenges that seem impossible to overcome. But what if those very challenges hold hidden opportunities for growth and purpose? In this thought-provoking episode, we explore how fathers can transform adversity into powerful moments of personal development and family leadership.

Drawing on the transformative principles from Jim Murphy’s book Inner Excellence, we highlight how your mindset directly shapes your response to life’s toughest moments. From managing financial hardships to navigating complex co-parenting dynamics, we dive into real-life scenarios that fathers face every day.

You’ll discover a powerful six-step framework designed to help you overcome obstacles, develop resilience, and lead with confidence as a dad. We share practical strategies for embracing life’s difficulties as stepping stones toward becoming a stronger father and man.

Join us for this inspiring conversation on how to lead your family through adversity with supportive communication, self-love, and unwavering mental health practices. Learn how to model healthy habits and emotional strength for your children, turning life’s trials into lessons in resilience and growth.

Are you ready to reconnect with your true purpose and use life’s challenges to become the father your children deserve? Subscribe, share, and leave a review to support our mission of family empowerment and inspiring fathers everywhere.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, welcome back to another episode of 15 minutes
with dad, the podcast where weget real about fatherhood,
personal growth and the journeyto becoming your best self.
I'm your host, lyric Williams,and we've spent the last several
episodes building a foundation,talking about authenticity,
deep connections, co-parentingand emotional resilience, but

(00:21):
today's episode is all about thereality of fatherhood
challenges, setbacks, adversity.
Life is going to throwobstacles at you, some you
expect and some that knock thewind out of you.
The question isn't ifchallenges will come, but how
you'll respond to them.
So in this episode overcomingchallenges from adversity to

(00:43):
Growth we're going to talk aboutwhy adversity is not your enemy
but your greatest teacher, thecore principles of inner
excellence and how they apply tofatherhood, and a powerful six
step framework to shift yourmindset and turn setbacks into
stepping stones.
Jim Murphy, the author of InnerExcellence, teaches us that

(01:04):
success in any area, whether insports, business or life starts
in the mind.
So if we can learn to controlour thoughts, emotions and
reactions, we can transform anyobstacle into opportunity.
So if you're a father goingthrough a rough season, whether
it's financial relationshipchallenges, co-parenting
struggles or personal setbacksthis episode is for you.

(01:26):
Let's get started.
When we face difficulties, ournatural instinct is to resist
them.
We want life to be smooth,predictable and free from
struggle, but the truth is,challenges are where real growth
happens.
Jim Murphy writes in InnerExcellence Adversity is not the
enemy, it's the training groundfor greatness.

(01:47):
The most successful people inthe world don't avoid challenges
.
They embrace them asopportunities to improve.
And as fathers, we have to dothe same.
Every challenge we face,whether it's a tough
conversation with our child, adisagreement with our co-parents
or our spouse, or financialhardship, is an opportunity to
grow, learn and become stronger.

(02:09):
Think about the men who inspireyou, the great fathers, leaders
or role models you admire.
None of them got where they arewithout struggle.
It wasn't comfort that shapedthem, it was how they responded
to adversity.
So how do we shift our mindset?
How do we start seeingchallenges as teachers rather

(02:30):
than threats?
That's where the principles ofinner excellence come in.
So we're going to master ourinner game first.
And success isn't about whathappens to you, it's about how
you respond internally.
So if your thoughts are filledwith stress, frustration or
doubts, your actions will alsoreflect that.

(02:51):
You can start your day with amorning mental reset.
Take five minutes before yourkids wake up to reflect on the
type of father you want to betoday.
And this brings the bigoverarching what kind of image I
want my child to have of me?
Question down to a minutedetail, and you take it one day

(03:12):
at a time.
The second would be to let go ofthe ego and expectations.
I mentioned this quite a fewtimes in this U2.0 series and
this has been the mostgroundbreaking shift in my life
and I didn't notice how much myego was intertwined with
everything that I do.

(03:33):
How I respond to my family, howI respond to friends, how I
feel when people aren't happywith something that I did, or
even the thing that's kind ofkept me back from being my best
self, is the ego.
We literally, quite literally,create our own suffering when we
get too attached to how thingsshould be.
And I've focused on taking thisword should out of my

(03:56):
vocabulary, out of my family'svocabulary, because should is
the breeding ground for ego.
Maybe you expected a perfectfamily, a smooth co-parenting
relationship or to be furtherahead in life.
Let go of unrealisticexpectations.
It will bring you peace.
So, when frustration hits, askyourself am I upset because of

(04:19):
reality or because of myexpectations of that reality.
Shift your focus to what youcan control.
The third thing would be torespond.
Don't react Emotional reactingis easy, but responding with
clarity and intentions is whatseparates great leaders.
When your child is acting out,when your ex is being difficult

(04:43):
or your spouse is beingdifficult or frustrated with you
, or when life isn't going yourway, just take a pause.
Just pause.
Practice the three-second rule,take a deep breath, count to
three and then choose yourresponse.
The fourth concept is to seeevery challenge as a test.

(05:05):
Instead of asking why is thishappening to me, ask how is this
happening for me.
And I'll say it again Insteadof asking why is this happening
to me, ask how is this happeningfor me.
Every tough moment is a chanceto model strength, patience and

(05:27):
wisdom for your kids.
Shift your mindset.
Reframe adversity as trainingfor your growth training for
your growth.
Now I want to go into thesix-step framework to turning
your adversity into growth, andthis is things that have
transformed my life in real time, and I will stand by this.
So, step one, pause and observe.

(05:52):
The biggest mistake happens whenwe react instead of thinking
first and instead of reactingemotionally to stress.
Take 10 seconds beforeresponding If your child
disrespects you, if your wifegoes off on you or says
something that hurts yourfeelings, or something happens
in your life that just kind oftakes your breath away.

(06:12):
Pause, take a deep breath andrespond with calm Leadership.
Another big step and this isthe second step is to reframe
your challenge.
Your perspective determinesyour reality.
In cases where you think thatpeople may be challenging your

(06:37):
authority or not believing thatyou can do something.
That's all your perspective.
If somebody questions somethingthat you're doing, it's
probably because it's not clearto them.
Rather than taking it as an egotrip of you, can respond.
Instead of asking why me, youcan ask what can I learn from
this If things aren't going yourway?
Reframe your challenge.

(06:58):
A co-parenting conflict can bereframed as an opportunity to
practice patience and improvecommunication.
Step three you can focus on whatyou can control.
Most stress comes from focusingon what we can't control.
So write down two lists one forwhat's in your control and one

(07:23):
for what isn't.
Then focus only on the firstlist.
You cannot change the world,but what you can do is move the
things that are within yourgrasp.
You can't control your ex'sattitude.
You can't control your wife'sattitude.
You can't control your wife'sfrustration.
You can't control your kidsbeing upset with you because you
told them no, but you cancontrol how you handle

(07:46):
interactions with them.
Step four take small,intentional actions.
Big problems are solved throughsmall, consistent steps.
Big problems are solved throughsmall, consistent steps.
Break down any problem with onesmall step you can take.
Today I always use this analogyand I say it with my 10 year old
to kind of help him build inthis patience and take small,

(08:08):
intentional actions.
I ask him how do you eat anelephant?
And I always ask him how do youeat an elephant?
And while he's frustrated ittakes him aback a little bit,
but he already knows what itcomes because I ask him the
exact same question how do youeat the elephant?
And you eat it one bite at atime.
I wouldn't recommend trying toeat the elephant.
That's a lot of elephant.
Even baby elephants are a lot.
But anyways, I'll say a littletopic.

(08:31):
If you feel disconnected fromyour kids, start with 10 minutes
of focused time with them everyday, or 15 minutes that's why
this podcast is called 15Minutes with Dad and you can
literally take one step at atime.
You may not be able to wintheir love immediately, or win
their forgiveness immediately,or get your spouse to be okay,

(08:53):
or get your co-parent tounderstand your perspective okay
, or get your co-parent tounderstand your perspective.
But you got to take it one stepat a time.
The fifth step is to reflectand adjust.
Growth is not automatic.
You have to check in withyourself.
Once you set a goal and youhave measures in place, you'll

(09:14):
be able to check back in withyourself, like at the end of
each week, ask yourself whatwent well, what can I improve on
?
And if you lost your temperwith your child let's say you
lost your temper to a childreflect.
How could I have handled thatdifferently?
And adjust for the next time.
And step six stay present whiletaking small steps toward your

(09:39):
future.
And I had to figure out how,and I had a child at the time, I

(10:11):
was like 20, but I had a childat the time and I had no place
to go.
And I'm looking at my life likehow will I get to a place of?
I'm telling you this inhindsight, but if you live too
far in the future, you feelanxious.
If you live too far in the past, you'll feel regret.
True power is in the present,focusing on the fact that, okay,
today I got to build structure,I got to build a foundation,

(10:33):
but I need to still take smallsteps for my future.
And I always tell my brotherthis in this format, you have to
do.
You have to worry about yournow, get your now together, but
also be making steps towardsyour future and keeping that
vision at the forefront,focusing on the small daily wins
that build toward a biggervision.
If you want to be a betterfather, focus on being engaged

(10:56):
today and not worrying about howyou measure up in five years.
That is stressful becauseyou're like oh, my present now,
like we put our.
Sometimes we put our presentinto the future and say, because
it's like this now, this is howit's going to be in the future.
But if you're taking steps tolead toward this bigger vision
that you've created in the U2.0,the better version of yourself,

(11:20):
then taking those small stepstoday will lead to that bigger
step in the future.
For me, it was.
I needed to find work.
I found work.
I ended up having to movesomewhere and sacrifice my time
that I have with my child forthe most part and waking up to
her every day, but I had to alsogo and use that time to go to
school.
So I was in school.

(11:41):
It was sacrifices to get backand forth from, you know, 700,
600 miles away to come to see mydaughter.
Throughout that time the youknow the drama that I was going
through, but I had to stayfocused on that vision.
I had to continuously work.
I had to continuously go toschool in order to make sure
that I don't end up in the sameplace.
I was, and every day since thenhas been a progressive step.

(12:02):
Now it hasn't been an uphill Imean, it hasn't been a
consistent plateau or a greattime.
It's been an uphill battlethroughout the entirety, and
sometimes it was a downhill andthen uphill.
But you don't climb a mountainstraight up.
You have to go up and oxidizeand then oxid.
But you don't climb a mountainstraight up.
You have to go up and oxidizeand then oxidate, and then come
back down a little bit, thenoxidate and then go back up a

(12:24):
little bit and you graduallyincrease.
And that was what my life waslike Taking small steps for the
future while focusing on makingsure that my present was
together and had a foundation.
Fatherhood isn't just aboutsurviving the challenges.

(12:45):
It's about growing through them.
Today, we explored whyadversity is your greatest
teacher, the core principles ofinner excellence and how they
apply to fatherhood, and asix-step framework to shift your
mindset and turn setbacks intogrowth.
So here's your challenge.
The next time adversity hits,don't just react.

(13:07):
Use the six-step framework.
Start training yourself to seechallenges as opportunities, not
obstacles.
Growth happens in the process,not just the outcome.
If you're enjoying this series,visit 15 minutes with dad for
more insights, exercises andtools to help you on your
journey.
Next week, we'll be bringingeverything together in our final

(13:28):
two episodes finding yourpurpose, crafting a vision for
your future as a father.
You won't want to miss it.
Make sure you subscribe to 15minutes with dad on your
favorite podcast platforms andfollow us on social media at 15
minutes with dad for morefatherhood insights, motivation
and support.
Until next time, embrace thechallenge, stay focused and keep

(13:51):
growing.
Your kids are watching and theman you become will shape the
legacy you leave behind.