April 4, 2024 • 38 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lirec (00:00):
Hey, what's going on, you guys?
My name is Lyric, the creator 15minutes with dad.
And today we are here with aspecial guest and they're going
to take us through the journeyof their life, connect us with
their family and give youinsights on things that you can
do in your life as being afather.
If you have not followed.
15 minutes with dad, the podcasthealing series, or the
(00:21):
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Make sure that you go andsubscribe to us on YouTube,
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(00:42):
to appreciate it too.
appreciate it too.
So thank you for tuning in withus today.
(01:04):
We have.
Mr.
Deryck Richardson.
How are you?
Deryck Richardson (01:09):
I'm good, man.
How you?
doing?
Lirec (01:11):
I'm doing swell, man.
Thank you for taking the timeout to, to join us on this
evening.
I know that you got to get to afamily dinner, so we got to,
we're going to get through thisepisode and pull the insights
that you have and reallyunderstand your story.
So start off by telling us whoyou are, if you will.
Deryck Richardson (01:30):
Sure.
So Derek Richardson, I am aserial entrepreneur.
a lot of people say what do youdo?
You got your hands on so manythings.
I Major business is RichardsonMarketing Group.
We're proud to be a three timebest place to work in Columbus,
Ohio.
A two time Fast 50.
Recognizing the fastest growingprivately held companies in the
area also.
(01:50):
And that's the ATM machine thatallows me to play in other
spaces.
Also have a life insuranceagency here.
I'm also in the sunglassesbusiness and accessory business.
The coffee business.
Wrote a book.
I speak.
I coach.
I mentor, etc.
Lirec (02:04):
man, you are, out there doing work, man.
I appreciate you taking the timeout.
That seems like you got a lot ofhats to fill and I'm not, I'm
definitely not going to take toomuch of your time, but at 15
minutes with dad, we believethat fathers and children can
spend 15 minutes with their kidsor with their fathers to really
make an impact in each other'slife and really build that
(02:26):
relationship.
So let's start off by saying,are you a father?
I know you're a father, but youcan tell the viewers that you're
a father.
Deryck Richardson (02:34):
I am.
I am.
I have four kids and believe itor not, three grandkids.
I know I look young, but
Lirec (02:39):
yeah, like young grandfather, man.
Yeah.
So you, so how is your, how doyou, would you say when, if
you're comparing your father,the way you grew up with your
father versus how you youfather, is there a difference or
is there some similarities?
Deryck Richardson (02:56):
Both.
My father is an immigrant.
He is from the Bahamas and hecame to Ohio state to get his
PhD.
He's a psychologist and didn'tgo back home.
My mom fell in love and the restof history.
Culturally, there are somedifferences.
They don't have football in theBahamas.
I was a football player.
Lirec (03:16):
He's not basketball guy.
I love my American sports.
And my dad was very muchreading.
You're going to be a scholar.
You're going to be very smart.
You're going to be a doctor.
And I'm very much can I just getout here and play these sports?
and so with my kids we're verymuch athletic focused, and at
least we were athletic focusedwhen they were younger.
Again, they're grown now.
(03:37):
And so our house really revolvedaround youth sports, which our
house did too, except forwithout my, my, my dad's 100
percent understanding of thesport.
Certainly at every single game,certainly supportive, but we
would just went outside throwingthe football, right?
get your homework done kind ofguy.
But the similarities are verysimilar because as I look back,
(03:57):
man, my kids tell stories of howI've lectured them and tried to
give them insights just like myfather did and really sat them
down on the proverbialpsychologist chair just like my
dad did.
And and they said that was someof the worst punishments they
got.
In my house, my mom hit you realquick it's over with and my dad
would sit you down and make youthink.
And our house operated way withmy If I'm the disciplinarian,
(04:21):
we're going to talk this out.
And you're not going to say, Idon't know, that's not an
answer.
A lot of right.
a lot of differences in how Iwas raised by my father and how
I have fathered my children.
Okay.
And so if we, if let's dive intoit a little bit, you say that,
spending that time developingyou or developing you in that
nature.
What is the most, memorablemoments that you have with your
(04:45):
dad, positive or negative?
Deryck Richardson (04:47):
It's so funny because the most positive
moments that I had with my dadwas time.
My dad, though he's apsychologist, I don't know if
you guys are old enough toremember in Living Color when
they make fun of the Caribbeanswith 15 different jobs a month.
Lirec (05:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (05:01):
entrepreneur, so he has his private practice,
but he also works for the OhioBureau of Disability
Determination.
As an adjudicator and spent sometime as a professor when we were
younger.
Also, so three jobs, eventhough, he's an entrepreneur,
right?
As a private practice doctor.
And so my dad had late nights,man.
Oftentimes he was home after wewere in bed.
(05:22):
And so a lot of the positivememories were on Saturday when
my mom said they're yours now.
And so we got to this, the time,the 15 minutes with dad on, on
Saturdays, we would go to thelibrary and we would get books,
we would get DVDs.
We will watch we're watching theDVD that we rented or the VHS
that we rented from the libraryor reading the book that we
rented from the library.
(05:42):
He's asleep on the couch becausehe's tired, right?
He's worked 80 hours this week.
But he's there in the room.
And in the most positivememories, my dad is also a very
emotional guy, not in terms oftears or anything like that, but
he's a hugger and I'm gonnaleave my house to come in my
mom's house without hugging mydad.
And I think that really taughtme that emotions were okay,
(06:04):
specifically in the era in thenineties when we were supposed
to be big.
Big and bad and tough and notreally showing to our emotions.
Back then, it was nothing for meto hug my dad, kiss my dad when
oftentimes my friends weren'tdoing that.
Lirec (06:16):
Like you said, during that time frame, it was not
always heard of it was the same,I didn't have many men in my
life, but what I was alwaystold, and I think that the women
in my life reverberated what themen was portraying at the time,
and that was a thing to be hardand and stuff like that, so
that's a beautiful thing to havehad, especially in that time, in
(06:37):
that era.
Yeah, that's definitelybeautiful.
And what about are there anymemories that you feel could
have been opportunities or youfelt like opportunities in
growth with your relationshipwith your dad
Deryck Richardson (06:48):
Yeah, because he was an intellect and I don't
know what was wrong with us inthe nineties, man, and not
certainly not everybody.
I'm not saying that, but we didnot take our grades seriously.
Specifically in my circle.
And again, if the shoe fits,where's I'm not talking about
everybody, but it was nothing tocome home with these and F's
man.
And just not do your homeworkand just, be out in the streets
and hanging with girls andplaying sports and just not
(07:10):
really caring about your future,not forecasting your future.
And so a lot of the negativeswhen I rebelled and became a
teenage father and really wasdoing something that shouldn't
have done in my teenage yearswas probably because anytime my
dad was involved, he wasdisciplining me.
Remember my dad is a scholar.
He's a PhD, he's a doctor.
(07:30):
And so to see his son, His firstson, by the way, there's four of
us, but I'm the first boy bringhome these D's and F's.
I graduated high school with a1.
9.
It was disappointing to him.
And so that
Lirec (07:40):
let you out.
Deryck Richardson (07:42):
they did let me out.
And I would go on to graduate.
I would go on.
One of my famous stories.
I tell the youngsters thesedays.
I would go on to graduate.
From Ohio Dominican with a 3.
75.
I just gave the keynote atgraduation last year at Ohio
Dominican University as theirkeynote speaker.
Lirec (07:57):
That potential.
You didn't realize it early.
Yeah,
Deryck Richardson (07:59):
I didn't realize that early, but some of
those feelings were like, man,if my dad's around, it's because
I'm in trouble and he's going tosit me down and make me confront
and talk about this.
And I really didn't like it.
So I use those opportunities torebel and again, he has late
nights, man, I thoughteverybody's dad came home at 8,
9, 10 o'clock at night.
They didn't.
and so I had that time, eventhough my mom was in the house
(08:19):
to overpower her a little bit,Right.
And to do what I wanted to do.
And then when he came home, itwas like, Hey, let's sit down
and talk about this because thisthing will happen.
And so that we had thisconfrontation, my fault, 100
percent my fault.
But the negatives were certainlythose high school years when I
was getting disciplined andthat's really all the the
communication that we had or atleast the stuff that's memorable
(08:41):
and that's why it goes back tothat 15 minutes with dad, right?
The good times are when he wasthere and when I was a little
bit younger and it wasn't all a,you're doing this wrong.
You need to do this.
But he certainly was adisciplinary disciplinarian
verbally.
And I think that I'm such analpha that got on my nerves.
People tell me what to do eventhough he's my dad.
Lirec (08:57):
Yeah, I think what's interesting is because there's a
couple of dynamics that areplaying in here.
There's the cultural dynamic.
Coming, coming from the Bahamasthat's a very close knit to the
African diaspora, right?
So you have a lot of thecultural aspects from of growth
and development is yo, I'm animmigrant.
I came to this country and Iworked really hard.
I, I put, like you said, put allthese hours in and a lot of
(09:17):
their, a lot of that culturalpart, you growing up in a
country that culturally is theopposite, and trying to navigate
your childhood.
With the father that kind of,came here probably, was he an
adult when he came, when he gotto the United States
Deryck Richardson (09:32):
he was a college student so yeah,
certainly he was a collegestudent, came to Ohio State to
get his PhD so
Lirec (09:36):
Yeah.
So yeah you're coming withsomeone that was formed in
another country with a differentcultural background, trying to
coach you in a realm that he isunfamiliar with almost.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
And not to say he didn't adapt,but it was more like the age
group, like the generation thatwas coming from behind where he
was, is almost foreign at thattime.
Deryck Richardson (09:56):
Sure, absolutely,
Lirec (09:57):
say that we talked Black Girl Dad Week was happening last
weekend and there was a talk.
Roland Martin came and had atalk with Congresswoman what is
it, Congresswoman Beatty andRoland Martin was talking about
these two concepts.
He said there was the fathersthat are present and the fathers
(10:19):
that have a presence.
And so I throw that out thereand I want you to take those two
terms and I want you to classicor cascaded onto your dad in any
of those terms and then cascadeyourself and your fatherhood
with your kids currently.
Deryck Richardson (10:34):
Sure so being present is just that.
You're around, this isn't asingle Family household.
Certainly many men struggle withthat because they think they're
doing something because thepresent.
Of course, we're now in an erawhere drugs and alcohol and of
course, in our era to could playa factor that you're there, but
you're higher, you're.
You're intoxicated.
(10:55):
Of course, many men have beenknown to beat their Children and
beat their wives.
So they're present, right?
but to have a presence means tocreate an influence to shape and
mold.
A life in a positive manner and,my dad did a very good job of
that.
And as much as I say that, hewasn't there because he was
(11:16):
working when he was working, yougotta provide, and it's in his
blood to do and it's funny howI've grown up and now I got my
hands on so many differentthings and I'm not going to be
home.
I got a family dinner tonight.
I'm not going to be home tillseven 30, probably.
So it's funny how it comes fullcircle.
It's just in our blood to gowork and hustle.
But the presence to make surethat you're making an impact, to
make sure that they are learningfrom you, that they, that you
(11:39):
are rubbing off on your childrenin a positive manner is
important for
Lirec (11:44):
Yeah.
And how do you apply that inyour household when, so knowing
that you work a lot, how do youapply having a presence?
What are some things that you doto to have more, to have
presence in your home, eventhough you're not always exactly
present early in the daytime orsomething like that, like
physically present, but it'sstill being able to try and have
(12:05):
presence inside of your kid'slife growing up.
And I know they're adults now,but are there out the house and
whatnot, but growing up and nowas well, how do you have, how do
you show presence?
Deryck Richardson (12:16):
sure.
Sure.
So I would, yeah so sure.
So we were able To really bondthrough sports which is why
that's such a big topic when youtalk about the difference and
how I grew up I know that myfather likely wished that we
could bond through academia, butwe didn't, but I bonded with my
Children, all four of themthrough sports.
I coached all of them.
(12:36):
And even as they got older andbecame high school students I,
One a nonprofit and hillary theHillary optimism on the
president of the club.
We handle football, lacrosse,basketball, cheerleading, and
volleyball essay and rhetoricalcontest.
It's a nonprofit, it's avolunteer position, but I have
put my kids in coachingpositions even as adults there.
(12:59):
So now they're coaching andgetting to experience the.
The joy of coaching as well.
And we get to talk about that,right?
We really bond over sports.
We have three boys and one girl,the Olympics, man, the
gymnastics, the days of Gabbywith my daughter was fantastic.
She's a Hooper.
She's a super Hooper.
The NBA playoffs all starweekend just passed.
Those are times in our housethat we really bond.
(13:21):
I really bond with my childrenthrough sports.
There's so many lessons to, tobe had.
And when they're on the field,you get to talk about what you
learned today.
And when they're off the field,you get, as adults, you get to
talk about what did they learnwhen you're watching, a sports
program.
And I'm really able to givelessons and really shaped.
through sports, man.
We were sports household andstill are a sports household.
(13:43):
We have a group chat and youshould have seen the chats that
were happening over all starsaturday night with the dunk
contest and even leading up tothe dunk contest on friday and
the Super Bowl.
Same thing.
Oftentimes the kids are at ourhouse watching Ohio State
Buckeyes football, right?
We were a
Lirec (13:59):
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
How you that's interesting.
Oh, you got a red zone.
Deryck Richardson (14:04):
Yeah.
Lirec (14:04):
got a red
Deryck Richardson (14:04):
zone house.
So Sundays, you know, we, I gotsomething on the grill and we
watching red zone and watchingteams over here and over there.
And, that's just how we do, man.
Lirec (14:13):
Yeah.
That's good stuff.
So and I wanna talk to thatcontrast.
'cause I like how you, when, howyou laid out the fact okay, my
dad, although he had a presence,he also didn't have he didn't
bond with me in the way that I,that you needed him to bond.
And this kind of caused somekind of tension.
It didn't have, I think thatpoint of contact.
With your sports would have mademaybe a difference in how y'all
(14:35):
communicated together.
And that's just my, that's myassertion or my assumption, not
assertion.
And the point that I want tomake is how tight knit that
you've formed your bond withyour kids.
I'm sure you've gone through arebellious stage.
I'm going through one right nowwith my teenage child.
Not rebellious, but she has herown abstract thoughts, so I
allow her to do that.
And sometimes it clashed, but, Iwant to point out the fact that
(14:59):
there's, there are most fathersthat find it hard to really
connect with their children.
And something that I found thatyou have also found that you may
have connected to your childhoodis that connecting with your
kids in a place where they arewhat they, what an interest that
they have and really pouringinto that interest.
I've coached my daughter aswell.
(15:19):
I still I still coach her evenwhile she has other coaches, but
I'm a sideline coach when I'm,
Deryck Richardson (15:24):
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Lirec (15:26):
I wanted to, I want to make a point to your story on
how the, I think that is a veryeffective way to connect for a
father to connect with theirchild in those places where they
feel that, I just don't get mykid or my kid is they do their
own thing.
I don't have time to do that.
I don't want to figure this outor I don't know what they do.
They do something.
I think that is the point atwhich it is very, that is like
(15:50):
the door into your child's heartis by sharing the love of
something, even if you don'tknow anything about it.
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
I suck that basketball.
As a kid, I was terrible.
I was trash, garbageuncoordinated.
I'm probably a little bit stilluncoordinated, but I'm madly in
love with basketball now.
I was a football player,wrestler track runner, all that
(16:11):
stuff.
But basketball, I was like.
I just did recreational.
My daughter is a really isreally good and I've coached her
and I've only gotten betterbecause I coached her.
I learned basketball throughcoaching her.
So because she wanted to do it,because she wanted to play
better, I had to learn how tocoach her better, which taught
me how to play basketball, whichnow we.
(16:32):
That's something that we bothshare.
We love women's basketball.
We've seen Caitlin Clark whenshe came into town and got
stumped by the Ohio Buckeyes.
But I say that it's vital almostfor us for dads to connect with
their kids in the place wherethey are most familiar with or
something that they like themost.
And I think that you did a greatjob.
(16:52):
And I think that you'veunderstood where there was a
gap.
Even though you know you have agood relationship with your dad,
you understood that was a momentor a gap in there that could
have major relationship godifferent.
Had he connected with you in therealm of sports rather than
instead of feeling like you'rehaving to separate from the
house to get sports.
(17:12):
You were able to do the sport,it was a household thing, like
you've made it in your home, andI think that's a phenomenal
approach.
Deryck Richardson (17:20):
Where you are is important.
I don't know.
I don't know how religious youwant me to be, but I'm going to
speak from my mind.
Of the 10 coins comes to mind.
There was a lady who had 10coins, silver coins, and I'll
paraphrase and she lost one
Lirec (17:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:37):
and she went crazy.
Lirec (17:38):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:38):
And some people say you got nine, what's
the other one for, she forgetsabout the nine and she looks
for, The lost coin.
And you know where she found thelost coin right where it was.
Lirec (17:53):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:55):
And so when you lose relationships, you
sometimes have to find thosepeople where they are.
I'm so glad that you said thatit's not just sports.
It was the whole culturaldifference.
Sports certainly was a majoraspect, but he could have found
me where I was in cinema.
(18:16):
In music, in literature, becauseit was totally different.
And I'm not saying he wasn'tlooking.
I'm not saying that at all,because my dad and I have a
fantastic relationship now, andI rely on him for a lot of
advice as a man.
And as a father, now he's one ofthe most qualified people as a
psychologist, a clinicalpsychologist to give men.
(18:37):
Who as entrepreneurs, we don'thave people who we can talk to a
lot of the time.
So my dad is one of the mostqualified people on the face of
the planet to give me advice.
And I use that now.
And he is, he has given hisservices to many of my friends
and business partners, hisprofessional services now, but
back then I was right there.
(18:59):
But the difference in my opinionis also the timing.
Remember so also, even thoughI'm young, I look young my, my
father's pushing the Navy.
Back then, children should beseen and not heard.
Lirec (19:12):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (19:13):
We weren't taking into consideration the
feelings and emotions ofchildren back then.
You do this, and you do itbecause I said, because I told
you to do it.
Lirec (19:21):
Yeah.
Don't question.
Don't ask.
don't,
Deryck Richardson (19:24):
Don't question it, don't ask, because
I said so, right?
And so these are the thingsthat, that, that really played a
part in me just saying, it's notbecause you said so, I'm out of
here, right?
You don't watch the same shows Iwatch.
You're telling me not to listento this rap music, right?
I'm over here reading JohnGrisham.
You're telling me to read, theencyclopedia.
I don't know.
(19:44):
I'm exaggerating, but my fatheris a
Lirec (19:46):
Sigmund Freud.
You want to like.
Deryck Richardson (19:48):
You see what I'm saying?
And I love sports and, again,he's at every game, bro.
Every game.
Lirec (19:53):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (19:53):
My dad never missed a game.
I would not see my dad, I wouldsee him in the stadiums and not
see him at home because he wentback to work.
He was present, for sure.
But when you say find yourchildren where they are, the
parable of the ten silver coinssays she found the tenth coin
(20:14):
right where it was.
She found it, where it was.
And so I try to find my childrenwhere they are.
And it's funny because rebellionis funny and also Luke 4, 24 and
I'll get off to the religion,but says no man can be a prophet
in his own land.
(20:34):
So I'm this, big timebusinessman, big time guy in my
community.
Playing politics, do all thisstuff.
My kids don't think I'm aprophet.
They ain't listening to me.
Lirec (20:44):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (20:45):
we've seen some of the same hurdles that I
have overcome pretty goodteenage father happened to my
second oldest
Lirec (20:56):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (20:57):
Baby mama drama happened to my second
oldest son.
Lirec (21:02):
We're
Deryck Richardson (21:02):
Not knowing where, what I want to do, not
knowing what I want to doprofessionally happened to, I
would say, two of the fourchildren, and I'm here.
I'm trying to find you where youare'cause I've been there and
successfully exited that stagein my life and they don't want
to hear it, bro.
Lirec (21:21):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (21:21):
try to find my children right where they are
and I try to use thoseconversations.
That's why they say I lecture,right?
I'll come on, man.
I don't want to hear about, howI handled that situation with my
baby's mom.
I don't want to hear about how Ijust left this job because I
wasn't happy.
I don't want to hear because I'mtrying to find them where they
are.
And sometimes that's not theright answer either, bro, is my
point.
So even though my, my, my fatherdidn't find me where I was.
(21:44):
I've tried to find my childrenwhere they are and sometimes
that's the wrong answer also,
Lirec (21:49):
Yeah.
I'm learning that too.
Let's talk a little bit aboutand, I don't want to take up a
lot of your time, but I do wantto get into the part.
You said that you were a teenagefather.
And I was also a teenage father,so I definitely have gone
through the journeys of beingfor myself.
I, it was a little bitdifferent.
I didn't have my dad in my lifeand, but I was a teenage father.
(22:10):
Didn't know how to be a man.
Didn't really have a model of aman to be like but I had to
really carve out what that lookslike over time and try to be a
father and grow, create dreams,visions, goals and accomplish
things.
But knowing like.
Tell me a little bit about that,that, that concept.
When what was your earliest ageor that you had your first
(22:33):
child?
Deryck Richardson (22:34):
so I was 19 when I had my first child.
The the mixture and my parentsnever really said this because
you, I don't know if you did ornot, but I hesitated in telling
them.
That I was about to have a baby.
The fear of backlash was real.
And when I finally told them,cool, let's go, what are we
(22:55):
going to do?
And the mixture of, they neversaid it, but the disappointment
the thought that I assume theyprobably have had of he's
throwing away his life was aburning still burns to this day.
Piece of motivation for me tosucceed in this world.
Lirec (23:18):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (23:19):
The baby itself that fit in my forearm
certainly was motivating.
Lirec (23:24):
Oh yeah,
Deryck Richardson (23:25):
Certainly was
Lirec (23:26):
first, that
Deryck Richardson (23:27):
and shape and mold.
Correct.
This is motivating, but also thefact, and they never said it,
but also the fact that I believethat my parents and the world
think that I'm probably astatistic, a minority teenage
father.
Now it's time to put on my capeand prove them wrong.
Is when I matured.
That is when I matured is when Ibecame a father.
(23:47):
Period.
Lirec (23:49):
yeah.
I say, yeah, I say the samething.
It was like a a switch when Iwas in the hospital and I'm
holding my daughter and she ripsher little finger around my hand
and I'm crying cause honestly Ihave no idea what the hell I'm
doing.
I have no idea what I'm about todo for the I didn't even have a
place to stay of my own.
I'm living with my grandmotherat the time.
(24:09):
And had, I had nothing like Ididn't have sheets on my bed
kind of thing.
It was definitely a scarymoment, but I told myself at
that point, there is, I'm goingto change your life.
I'm going to, I'm going tocreate a world where you don't
have to live the way that I did.
And it's taken time, but it onlyif I calculate the years, it
only took really Seven years.
(24:29):
I finished college by the timeshe was four.
I wasn't even in college whenshe was pregnant, but I went
back to college, finishedcollege by the time she turned
four, and then got my firstcareer job and just started like
really just, trying to climbthis little corporate ladder.
And I'm, I'm nowhere where Iwant to be, but I know that I am
way better than I was at thattime.
(24:50):
10 times better within,
Deryck Richardson (24:52):
Same, bro.
Same.
It's funny because I was, that,that switch that you talk about,
I was headed down the wrongpath, bro.
The wrong path.
And when that switch came on andI said, okay, we got to go
that's the feeling that men runfrom sometimes and women.
That's the feeling that peoplerun from.
I don't want to feel like this.
I don't want to feel thispressure to make sure that this
(25:13):
little being survives and notonly survives, but has a life
that is valuable.
And that is why they say I'm notthe father.
That's why there are more.
That's why they're on
Lirec (25:28):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (25:29):
bro.
Because they're scared of thatfeeling.
That's the feeling that willturn boys into men.
Lirec (25:36):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (25:36):
that feeling in the hospital you had is the
same feeling that will drop thetoughest men to their knees too,
and they'll start crying.
Lirec (25:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I put that I talked aboutthat moment.
I talked about that moment in mybook.
And when, like, when I was foundout I broke my book into
different sections of being ateenage father, a growing
father, and a the broke father.
I break it up to differentstages of my life and how I
navigated through fatherhood,through my trauma and trying to
become an impactful father.
(26:03):
But it was like that moment whenI found out she was pregnant, I
immediately got so scared that Iwas like I don't want to be
here.
I wasn't even near her.
She texted me, I was at Walmart,and I immediately said, I just
want to disappear.
This is, I have no idea whatthis means.
I was just like, I want todisappear.
I, can I run away?
Where can I go?
(26:24):
Will she find me?
I was like, I was thinking ofabortion.
I was thinking of every singlesolitary.
I was like, this can't be real.
I got to I got to make this goaway.
And not out of fear of anybody.
Cause my, my, my mom wasn'treally.
that active in my life likethat.
And and my grandmother alsowasn't that active.
I was really out on my own.
(26:44):
And so that, but it was like, Iwanted to do something big with
my life.
And I was like, I can't donothing big with my life.
But then I realized this kind ofhelped me do something bigger.
in my life than I ever wouldhave thought I could be.
But yeah, that fear definitelycrippled me for maybe 25 minutes
of texting back and forth withthe mother of my daughter.
(27:05):
I was like, I hit her with theusher talk.
I was like, put that oneverything.
Are you sure you don't put youtell me to test you take, she
said she took five.
But I say that to say during thepregnancy I was there, but I
didn't have a presence.
Like I, I was there doing themotions, but emotionally and
psychologically, I was like, itstill wasn't real to me.
(27:29):
But when she was born, firstoff, when she came out, I almost
vomited and I faint, almostfainted and vomit at the same
time.
But then when I held her, it, itswitched that switch was so
powerful.
I was like, yo, I gotta do, I'mgoing to do everything in my
absolute power.
I would never stop it.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
(27:49):
I didn't know what like whatthose steps were going to be.
I had no path.
I had no guidance.
I had no mentors.
I had no vision of what wasgoing to take place.
But I knew for a fact that forher, I will see a difference.
I will make something happen.
Yeah, man, it's been up eversince.
It's a powerful thing.
Deryck Richardson (28:07):
It's very powerful man.
It's very powerful.
And my mom, man my mom saidsomething that was powerful a
couple of years ago and that wasthat we have made her a double
empty nester because my mom isthe one that nurtures the entire
neighborhood.
So we were the house where allthe bikes were out in the front
yard.
We were the house where the kidsjust walked in and before they
said hello, they're in thefridge.
(28:27):
Just little neighborhood kids,right?
My mom was that, that was alwaysher her piece of comfort was to
be the matriarch of not only ourfamily, but of the neighborhood
and all of our friends.
And when she said that, I didn'tunderstand it.
I said a double empty nester.
She said, yeah.
She said, all these kids were inthe house and y'all grow up and
leave.
And y'all want to have kids allyoung.
(28:49):
And so guess who's babysittingthem?
I am.
So now all the grandkids are inthe house and now the grandkids,
the core the original grandkidshave started to to have their
own families and they're not inthe house anymore.
And she said, the house issilent.
I'll never forget my, my, myyoungest is 18.
He just graduated last year andwe sent him to Arizona to my
(29:10):
brother in law's.
And so we were empty nesters forabout six months, six months to
come back.
And the house was silent.
Lirec (29:17):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (29:18):
was silent, bruh.
And and I called my mom.
I said, now I know what youmean.
Now I know what you mean bybeing a double empty nester.
And but my mom Also was a senseof inspiration because there's
no way I can grow up in a housewith a matriarch as powerful as
my mother and then let downbeings that I created.
Lirec (29:39):
yeah, that's a different type of, that's a different type
of disappointment, to, I thinkthat it was like almost like a
yo I already made this decision.
It is what it is at this point.
Now I got to I have to show up,I have to show up and I have to
show out.
And I think I applaud you.
I applaud you on putting thatwork in and staying present and
(29:59):
having a presence in your kidslife and and continuing that to
build that family circle thatyou've continued from your
family.
And it's a beautiful thing.
And I'm like I said, I'm gonnalet you get back to dinner.
I have one last thing.
Can you tell what?
What is something that you havethat you would have in your
heart to tell fathers before wego to tell fathers?
(30:20):
that you feel would be a notonly a nugget of knowledge, but
something that can take andimplement into their lives right
now.
A strange fathers, new dads orfathers that are fathers to
young kids, fathers of teenagersthat hold you've been through
the, you've been through thespectrum.
So yeah.
What do you have?
Deryck Richardson (30:40):
Man, I got a lot of stuff to talk about.
So I know I got dinner waitingat home, but I'm going to go for
a couple minutes here becauseI'm going to tell you a story
that I'm going to answer yourquestion.
A couple years ago.
We it was more than a couple ofyears ago.
I've been in this office nowfor, whoof pushing nine years.
And so we switched from 1099 toW 2 probably seven, six, seven
(31:02):
years ago.
And when we switched from 1099to W 2, with that comes child
support for those who are put onchild support.
And I'm a very calm, cool, andcollected leader.
If I blow a gasket per se, it'sonce a year, it's my father,
(31:24):
right?
So let's talk about this, let'shave a seat, what's going on.
And these men who worked for me.
were complaining Lirec
Lirec (31:41):
how about paying child support?
Yeah.
All right.
Deryck Richardson (31:56):
children ride in that car Single didn't
nothing but get a bigger houseyour children live in the house.
Lirec (32:03):
Facts.
All
Deryck Richardson (32:09):
And you're sticking her you're so weak that
you are sticking a female,somebody who you laid down with
the full responsibility ofraising your child and then
going to complain about beingfinancially responsible, are you
serious?
Lirec (32:25):
right.
Thank you.
Deryck Richardson (32:25):
I went off bruh, on everybody.
I slammed this door.
Slammed this door right behindme.
And they said, what's wrong withhim?
And so the problem is that howcan you even raise your children
to be strong men if you aren'tstrong men?
Does the world have strongleaders if they're not, if
(32:46):
there's not strong men in thisworld and strong women, if
there's not strong people inthis world That our leaders and
our men can build and mold.
Then what does the future ofthis country and this world look
like?
You have a bigger responsibilitythan to just say hello, son or
(33:07):
daughter, I love you.
You have a responsibility toshape the future of this country
and of this world.
That responsibility, you acceptthe moment you lay down with
somebody.
So if you want to lay down withsomebody, you're accepting the
responsibility that if a beingcomes from this It is my
(33:29):
responsibility to make sure thatthis being makes this world
better.
How can you do that if you'renot present?
You're not only letting yourselfdown, your children down, the
mother of your children down,you're letting the world down.
If you do not step up and be agood father, you will fail.
Your children will hate you attimes.
(33:52):
They will love you at times, butthey'll hate you at times.
You will make mistakes.
There's no book on how toparent.
But if you're going to acceptthe responsibility, Of bringing
a life into this world and thenrun from it.
That's the worst thing you cando.
And I know that there's excusesout there.
(34:13):
Oh, but she ain't gonna let mesee my kids.
Lirec (34:15):
Right.
Deryck Richardson (34:15):
to court.
Oh, she got another man around.
So now another man is takingyour responsibility.
So now you've passed thatresponsibility on to another
man.
Oh, but I ain't got no money.
Go get some money.
I promise you there's money outhere to be had.
Oh, but this, oh, but that, oh,but this.
Stop with the excuses andremember your responsibility to
(34:37):
raise these children, to leavethis planet in a better position
than it was when you found it.
If that does not motivate you,then don't lay down with
anybody.
(35:22):
ll
Hey, what's going on, you guys?
My name is Lyric, the creator 15minutes with dad.
And today we are here with aspecial guest and they're going
to take us through the journeyof their life, connect us with
their family and give youinsights on things that you can
do in your life as being afather.
If you have not followed.
15 minutes with dad, the podcasthealing series, or the
(00:21):
fatherhood speaks.
Make sure that you go andsubscribe to us on YouTube,
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(00:42):
to appreciate it too.
appreciate it too.
So thank you for tuning in withus today.
(01:04):
We have.
Mr.
Deryck Richardson.
How are you?
Deryck Richardson (01:09):
I'm good, man.
How you?
doing?
Lirec (01:11):
I'm doing swell, man.
Thank you for taking the timeout to, to join us on this
evening.
I know that you got to get to afamily dinner, so we got to,
we're going to get through thisepisode and pull the insights
that you have and reallyunderstand your story.
So start off by telling us whoyou are, if you will.
Deryck Richardson (01:30):
Sure.
So Derek Richardson, I am aserial entrepreneur.
a lot of people say what do youdo?
You got your hands on so manythings.
I Major business is RichardsonMarketing Group.
We're proud to be a three timebest place to work in Columbus,
Ohio.
A two time Fast 50.
Recognizing the fastest growingprivately held companies in the
area also.
(01:50):
And that's the ATM machine thatallows me to play in other
spaces.
Also have a life insuranceagency here.
I'm also in the sunglassesbusiness and accessory business.
The coffee business.
Wrote a book.
I speak.
I coach.
I mentor, etc.
Lirec (02:04):
man, you are, out there doing work, man.
I appreciate you taking the timeout.
That seems like you got a lot ofhats to fill and I'm not, I'm
definitely not going to take toomuch of your time, but at 15
minutes with dad, we believethat fathers and children can
spend 15 minutes with their kidsor with their fathers to really
make an impact in each other'slife and really build that
(02:26):
relationship.
So let's start off by saying,are you a father?
I know you're a father, but youcan tell the viewers that you're
a father.
Deryck Richardson (02:34):
I am.
I am.
I have four kids and believe itor not, three grandkids.
I know I look young, but
Lirec (02:39):
yeah, like young grandfather, man.
Yeah.
So you, so how is your, how doyou, would you say when, if
you're comparing your father,the way you grew up with your
father versus how you youfather, is there a difference or
is there some similarities?
Deryck Richardson (02:56):
Both.
My father is an immigrant.
He is from the Bahamas and hecame to Ohio state to get his
PhD.
He's a psychologist and didn'tgo back home.
My mom fell in love and the restof history.
Culturally, there are somedifferences.
They don't have football in theBahamas.
I was a football player.
Lirec (03:16):
He's not basketball guy.
I love my American sports.
And my dad was very muchreading.
You're going to be a scholar.
You're going to be very smart.
You're going to be a doctor.
And I'm very much can I just getout here and play these sports?
and so with my kids we're verymuch athletic focused, and at
least we were athletic focusedwhen they were younger.
Again, they're grown now.
(03:37):
And so our house really revolvedaround youth sports, which our
house did too, except forwithout my, my, my dad's 100
percent understanding of thesport.
Certainly at every single game,certainly supportive, but we
would just went outside throwingthe football, right?
get your homework done kind ofguy.
But the similarities are verysimilar because as I look back,
(03:57):
man, my kids tell stories of howI've lectured them and tried to
give them insights just like myfather did and really sat them
down on the proverbialpsychologist chair just like my
dad did.
And and they said that was someof the worst punishments they
got.
In my house, my mom hit you realquick it's over with and my dad
would sit you down and make youthink.
And our house operated way withmy If I'm the disciplinarian,
(04:21):
we're going to talk this out.
And you're not going to say, Idon't know, that's not an
answer.
A lot of right.
a lot of differences in how Iwas raised by my father and how
I have fathered my children.
Okay.
And so if we, if let's dive intoit a little bit, you say that,
spending that time developingyou or developing you in that
nature.
What is the most, memorablemoments that you have with your
(04:45):
dad, positive or negative?
Deryck Richardson (04:47):
It's so funny because the most positive
moments that I had with my dadwas time.
My dad, though he's apsychologist, I don't know if
you guys are old enough toremember in Living Color when
they make fun of the Caribbeanswith 15 different jobs a month.
Lirec (05:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (05:01):
entrepreneur, so he has his private practice,
but he also works for the OhioBureau of Disability
Determination.
As an adjudicator and spent sometime as a professor when we were
younger.
Also, so three jobs, eventhough, he's an entrepreneur,
right?
As a private practice doctor.
And so my dad had late nights,man.
Oftentimes he was home after wewere in bed.
(05:22):
And so a lot of the positivememories were on Saturday when
my mom said they're yours now.
And so we got to this, the time,the 15 minutes with dad on, on
Saturdays, we would go to thelibrary and we would get books,
we would get DVDs.
We will watch we're watching theDVD that we rented or the VHS
that we rented from the libraryor reading the book that we
rented from the library.
(05:42):
He's asleep on the couch becausehe's tired, right?
He's worked 80 hours this week.
But he's there in the room.
And in the most positivememories, my dad is also a very
emotional guy, not in terms oftears or anything like that, but
he's a hugger and I'm gonnaleave my house to come in my
mom's house without hugging mydad.
And I think that really taughtme that emotions were okay,
(06:04):
specifically in the era in thenineties when we were supposed
to be big.
Big and bad and tough and notreally showing to our emotions.
Back then, it was nothing for meto hug my dad, kiss my dad when
oftentimes my friends weren'tdoing that.
Lirec (06:16):
Like you said, during that time frame, it was not
always heard of it was the same,I didn't have many men in my
life, but what I was alwaystold, and I think that the women
in my life reverberated what themen was portraying at the time,
and that was a thing to be hardand and stuff like that, so
that's a beautiful thing to havehad, especially in that time, in
(06:37):
that era.
Yeah, that's definitelybeautiful.
And what about are there anymemories that you feel could
have been opportunities or youfelt like opportunities in
growth with your relationshipwith your dad
Deryck Richardson (06:48):
Yeah, because he was an intellect and I don't
know what was wrong with us inthe nineties, man, and not
certainly not everybody.
I'm not saying that, but we didnot take our grades seriously.
Specifically in my circle.
And again, if the shoe fits,where's I'm not talking about
everybody, but it was nothing tocome home with these and F's
man.
And just not do your homeworkand just, be out in the streets
and hanging with girls andplaying sports and just not
(07:10):
really caring about your future,not forecasting your future.
And so a lot of the negativeswhen I rebelled and became a
teenage father and really wasdoing something that shouldn't
have done in my teenage yearswas probably because anytime my
dad was involved, he wasdisciplining me.
Remember my dad is a scholar.
He's a PhD, he's a doctor.
(07:30):
And so to see his son, His firstson, by the way, there's four of
us, but I'm the first boy bringhome these D's and F's.
I graduated high school with a1.
9.
It was disappointing to him.
And so that
Lirec (07:40):
let you out.
Deryck Richardson (07:42):
they did let me out.
And I would go on to graduate.
I would go on.
One of my famous stories.
I tell the youngsters thesedays.
I would go on to graduate.
From Ohio Dominican with a 3.
75.
I just gave the keynote atgraduation last year at Ohio
Dominican University as theirkeynote speaker.
Lirec (07:57):
That potential.
You didn't realize it early.
Yeah,
Deryck Richardson (07:59):
I didn't realize that early, but some of
those feelings were like, man,if my dad's around, it's because
I'm in trouble and he's going tosit me down and make me confront
and talk about this.
And I really didn't like it.
So I use those opportunities torebel and again, he has late
nights, man, I thoughteverybody's dad came home at 8,
9, 10 o'clock at night.
They didn't.
and so I had that time, eventhough my mom was in the house
(08:19):
to overpower her a little bit,Right.
And to do what I wanted to do.
And then when he came home, itwas like, Hey, let's sit down
and talk about this because thisthing will happen.
And so that we had thisconfrontation, my fault, 100
percent my fault.
But the negatives were certainlythose high school years when I
was getting disciplined andthat's really all the the
communication that we had or atleast the stuff that's memorable
(08:41):
and that's why it goes back tothat 15 minutes with dad, right?
The good times are when he wasthere and when I was a little
bit younger and it wasn't all a,you're doing this wrong.
You need to do this.
But he certainly was adisciplinary disciplinarian
verbally.
And I think that I'm such analpha that got on my nerves.
People tell me what to do eventhough he's my dad.
Lirec (08:57):
Yeah, I think what's interesting is because there's a
couple of dynamics that areplaying in here.
There's the cultural dynamic.
Coming, coming from the Bahamasthat's a very close knit to the
African diaspora, right?
So you have a lot of thecultural aspects from of growth
and development is yo, I'm animmigrant.
I came to this country and Iworked really hard.
I, I put, like you said, put allthese hours in and a lot of
(09:17):
their, a lot of that culturalpart, you growing up in a
country that culturally is theopposite, and trying to navigate
your childhood.
With the father that kind of,came here probably, was he an
adult when he came, when he gotto the United States
Deryck Richardson (09:32):
he was a college student so yeah,
certainly he was a collegestudent, came to Ohio State to
get his PhD so
Lirec (09:36):
Yeah.
So yeah you're coming withsomeone that was formed in
another country with a differentcultural background, trying to
coach you in a realm that he isunfamiliar with almost.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
And not to say he didn't adapt,but it was more like the age
group, like the generation thatwas coming from behind where he
was, is almost foreign at thattime.
Deryck Richardson (09:56):
Sure, absolutely,
Lirec (09:57):
say that we talked Black Girl Dad Week was happening last
weekend and there was a talk.
Roland Martin came and had atalk with Congresswoman what is
it, Congresswoman Beatty andRoland Martin was talking about
these two concepts.
He said there was the fathersthat are present and the fathers
(10:19):
that have a presence.
And so I throw that out thereand I want you to take those two
terms and I want you to classicor cascaded onto your dad in any
of those terms and then cascadeyourself and your fatherhood
with your kids currently.
Deryck Richardson (10:34):
Sure so being present is just that.
You're around, this isn't asingle Family household.
Certainly many men struggle withthat because they think they're
doing something because thepresent.
Of course, we're now in an erawhere drugs and alcohol and of
course, in our era to could playa factor that you're there, but
you're higher, you're.
You're intoxicated.
(10:55):
Of course, many men have beenknown to beat their Children and
beat their wives.
So they're present, right?
but to have a presence means tocreate an influence to shape and
mold.
A life in a positive manner and,my dad did a very good job of
that.
And as much as I say that, hewasn't there because he was
(11:16):
working when he was working, yougotta provide, and it's in his
blood to do and it's funny howI've grown up and now I got my
hands on so many differentthings and I'm not going to be
home.
I got a family dinner tonight.
I'm not going to be home tillseven 30, probably.
So it's funny how it comes fullcircle.
It's just in our blood to gowork and hustle.
But the presence to make surethat you're making an impact, to
make sure that they are learningfrom you, that they, that you
(11:39):
are rubbing off on your childrenin a positive manner is
important for
Lirec (11:44):
Yeah.
And how do you apply that inyour household when, so knowing
that you work a lot, how do youapply having a presence?
What are some things that you doto to have more, to have
presence in your home, eventhough you're not always exactly
present early in the daytime orsomething like that, like
physically present, but it'sstill being able to try and have
(12:05):
presence inside of your kid'slife growing up.
And I know they're adults now,but are there out the house and
whatnot, but growing up and nowas well, how do you have, how do
you show presence?
Deryck Richardson (12:16):
sure.
Sure.
So I would, yeah so sure.
So we were able To really bondthrough sports which is why
that's such a big topic when youtalk about the difference and
how I grew up I know that myfather likely wished that we
could bond through academia, butwe didn't, but I bonded with my
Children, all four of themthrough sports.
I coached all of them.
(12:36):
And even as they got older andbecame high school students I,
One a nonprofit and hillary theHillary optimism on the
president of the club.
We handle football, lacrosse,basketball, cheerleading, and
volleyball essay and rhetoricalcontest.
It's a nonprofit, it's avolunteer position, but I have
put my kids in coachingpositions even as adults there.
(12:59):
So now they're coaching andgetting to experience the.
The joy of coaching as well.
And we get to talk about that,right?
We really bond over sports.
We have three boys and one girl,the Olympics, man, the
gymnastics, the days of Gabbywith my daughter was fantastic.
She's a Hooper.
She's a super Hooper.
The NBA playoffs all starweekend just passed.
Those are times in our housethat we really bond.
(13:21):
I really bond with my childrenthrough sports.
There's so many lessons to, tobe had.
And when they're on the field,you get to talk about what you
learned today.
And when they're off the field,you get, as adults, you get to
talk about what did they learnwhen you're watching, a sports
program.
And I'm really able to givelessons and really shaped.
through sports, man.
We were sports household andstill are a sports household.
(13:43):
We have a group chat and youshould have seen the chats that
were happening over all starsaturday night with the dunk
contest and even leading up tothe dunk contest on friday and
the Super Bowl.
Same thing.
Oftentimes the kids are at ourhouse watching Ohio State
Buckeyes football, right?
We were a
Lirec (13:59):
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
How you that's interesting.
Oh, you got a red zone.
Deryck Richardson (14:04):
Yeah.
Lirec (14:04):
got a red
Deryck Richardson (14:04):
zone house.
So Sundays, you know, we, I gotsomething on the grill and we
watching red zone and watchingteams over here and over there.
And, that's just how we do, man.
Lirec (14:13):
Yeah.
That's good stuff.
So and I wanna talk to thatcontrast.
'cause I like how you, when, howyou laid out the fact okay, my
dad, although he had a presence,he also didn't have he didn't
bond with me in the way that I,that you needed him to bond.
And this kind of caused somekind of tension.
It didn't have, I think thatpoint of contact.
With your sports would have mademaybe a difference in how y'all
(14:35):
communicated together.
And that's just my, that's myassertion or my assumption, not
assertion.
And the point that I want tomake is how tight knit that
you've formed your bond withyour kids.
I'm sure you've gone through arebellious stage.
I'm going through one right nowwith my teenage child.
Not rebellious, but she has herown abstract thoughts, so I
allow her to do that.
And sometimes it clashed, but, Iwant to point out the fact that
(14:59):
there's, there are most fathersthat find it hard to really
connect with their children.
And something that I found thatyou have also found that you may
have connected to your childhoodis that connecting with your
kids in a place where they arewhat they, what an interest that
they have and really pouringinto that interest.
I've coached my daughter aswell.
(15:19):
I still I still coach her evenwhile she has other coaches, but
I'm a sideline coach when I'm,
Deryck Richardson (15:24):
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Lirec (15:26):
I wanted to, I want to make a point to your story on
how the, I think that is a veryeffective way to connect for a
father to connect with theirchild in those places where they
feel that, I just don't get mykid or my kid is they do their
own thing.
I don't have time to do that.
I don't want to figure this outor I don't know what they do.
They do something.
I think that is the point atwhich it is very, that is like
(15:50):
the door into your child's heartis by sharing the love of
something, even if you don'tknow anything about it.
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
I suck that basketball.
As a kid, I was terrible.
I was trash, garbageuncoordinated.
I'm probably a little bit stilluncoordinated, but I'm madly in
love with basketball now.
I was a football player,wrestler track runner, all that
(16:11):
stuff.
But basketball, I was like.
I just did recreational.
My daughter is a really isreally good and I've coached her
and I've only gotten betterbecause I coached her.
I learned basketball throughcoaching her.
So because she wanted to do it,because she wanted to play
better, I had to learn how tocoach her better, which taught
me how to play basketball, whichnow we.
(16:32):
That's something that we bothshare.
We love women's basketball.
We've seen Caitlin Clark whenshe came into town and got
stumped by the Ohio Buckeyes.
But I say that it's vital almostfor us for dads to connect with
their kids in the place wherethey are most familiar with or
something that they like themost.
And I think that you did a greatjob.
(16:52):
And I think that you'veunderstood where there was a
gap.
Even though you know you have agood relationship with your dad,
you understood that was a momentor a gap in there that could
have major relationship godifferent.
Had he connected with you in therealm of sports rather than
instead of feeling like you'rehaving to separate from the
house to get sports.
(17:12):
You were able to do the sport,it was a household thing, like
you've made it in your home, andI think that's a phenomenal
approach.
Deryck Richardson (17:20):
Where you are is important.
I don't know.
I don't know how religious youwant me to be, but I'm going to
speak from my mind.
Of the 10 coins comes to mind.
There was a lady who had 10coins, silver coins, and I'll
paraphrase and she lost one
Lirec (17:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:37):
and she went crazy.
Lirec (17:38):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:38):
And some people say you got nine, what's
the other one for, she forgetsabout the nine and she looks
for, The lost coin.
And you know where she found thelost coin right where it was.
Lirec (17:53):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (17:55):
And so when you lose relationships, you
sometimes have to find thosepeople where they are.
I'm so glad that you said thatit's not just sports.
It was the whole culturaldifference.
Sports certainly was a majoraspect, but he could have found
me where I was in cinema.
(18:16):
In music, in literature, becauseit was totally different.
And I'm not saying he wasn'tlooking.
I'm not saying that at all,because my dad and I have a
fantastic relationship now, andI rely on him for a lot of
advice as a man.
And as a father, now he's one ofthe most qualified people as a
psychologist, a clinicalpsychologist to give men.
(18:37):
Who as entrepreneurs, we don'thave people who we can talk to a
lot of the time.
So my dad is one of the mostqualified people on the face of
the planet to give me advice.
And I use that now.
And he is, he has given hisservices to many of my friends
and business partners, hisprofessional services now, but
back then I was right there.
(18:59):
But the difference in my opinionis also the timing.
Remember so also, even thoughI'm young, I look young my, my
father's pushing the Navy.
Back then, children should beseen and not heard.
Lirec (19:12):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (19:13):
We weren't taking into consideration the
feelings and emotions ofchildren back then.
You do this, and you do itbecause I said, because I told
you to do it.
Lirec (19:21):
Yeah.
Don't question.
Don't ask.
don't,
Deryck Richardson (19:24):
Don't question it, don't ask, because
I said so, right?
And so these are the thingsthat, that, that really played a
part in me just saying, it's notbecause you said so, I'm out of
here, right?
You don't watch the same shows Iwatch.
You're telling me not to listento this rap music, right?
I'm over here reading JohnGrisham.
You're telling me to read, theencyclopedia.
I don't know.
(19:44):
I'm exaggerating, but my fatheris a
Lirec (19:46):
Sigmund Freud.
You want to like.
Deryck Richardson (19:48):
You see what I'm saying?
And I love sports and, again,he's at every game, bro.
Every game.
Lirec (19:53):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (19:53):
My dad never missed a game.
I would not see my dad, I wouldsee him in the stadiums and not
see him at home because he wentback to work.
He was present, for sure.
But when you say find yourchildren where they are, the
parable of the ten silver coinssays she found the tenth coin
(20:14):
right where it was.
She found it, where it was.
And so I try to find my childrenwhere they are.
And it's funny because rebellionis funny and also Luke 4, 24 and
I'll get off to the religion,but says no man can be a prophet
in his own land.
(20:34):
So I'm this, big timebusinessman, big time guy in my
community.
Playing politics, do all thisstuff.
My kids don't think I'm aprophet.
They ain't listening to me.
Lirec (20:44):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (20:45):
we've seen some of the same hurdles that I
have overcome pretty goodteenage father happened to my
second oldest
Lirec (20:56):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (20:57):
Baby mama drama happened to my second
oldest son.
Lirec (21:02):
We're
Deryck Richardson (21:02):
Not knowing where, what I want to do, not
knowing what I want to doprofessionally happened to, I
would say, two of the fourchildren, and I'm here.
I'm trying to find you where youare'cause I've been there and
successfully exited that stagein my life and they don't want
to hear it, bro.
Lirec (21:21):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (21:21):
try to find my children right where they are
and I try to use thoseconversations.
That's why they say I lecture,right?
I'll come on, man.
I don't want to hear about, howI handled that situation with my
baby's mom.
I don't want to hear about how Ijust left this job because I
wasn't happy.
I don't want to hear because I'mtrying to find them where they
are.
And sometimes that's not theright answer either, bro, is my
point.
So even though my, my, my fatherdidn't find me where I was.
(21:44):
I've tried to find my childrenwhere they are and sometimes
that's the wrong answer also,
Lirec (21:49):
Yeah.
I'm learning that too.
Let's talk a little bit aboutand, I don't want to take up a
lot of your time, but I do wantto get into the part.
You said that you were a teenagefather.
And I was also a teenage father,so I definitely have gone
through the journeys of beingfor myself.
I, it was a little bitdifferent.
I didn't have my dad in my lifeand, but I was a teenage father.
(22:10):
Didn't know how to be a man.
Didn't really have a model of aman to be like but I had to
really carve out what that lookslike over time and try to be a
father and grow, create dreams,visions, goals and accomplish
things.
But knowing like.
Tell me a little bit about that,that, that concept.
When what was your earliest ageor that you had your first
(22:33):
child?
Deryck Richardson (22:34):
so I was 19 when I had my first child.
The the mixture and my parentsnever really said this because
you, I don't know if you did ornot, but I hesitated in telling
them.
That I was about to have a baby.
The fear of backlash was real.
And when I finally told them,cool, let's go, what are we
(22:55):
going to do?
And the mixture of, they neversaid it, but the disappointment
the thought that I assume theyprobably have had of he's
throwing away his life was aburning still burns to this day.
Piece of motivation for me tosucceed in this world.
Lirec (23:18):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (23:19):
The baby itself that fit in my forearm
certainly was motivating.
Lirec (23:24):
Oh yeah,
Deryck Richardson (23:25):
Certainly was
Lirec (23:26):
first, that
Deryck Richardson (23:27):
and shape and mold.
Correct.
This is motivating, but also thefact, and they never said it,
but also the fact that I believethat my parents and the world
think that I'm probably astatistic, a minority teenage
father.
Now it's time to put on my capeand prove them wrong.
Is when I matured.
That is when I matured is when Ibecame a father.
(23:47):
Period.
Lirec (23:49):
yeah.
I say, yeah, I say the samething.
It was like a a switch when Iwas in the hospital and I'm
holding my daughter and she ripsher little finger around my hand
and I'm crying cause honestly Ihave no idea what the hell I'm
doing.
I have no idea what I'm about todo for the I didn't even have a
place to stay of my own.
I'm living with my grandmotherat the time.
(24:09):
And had, I had nothing like Ididn't have sheets on my bed
kind of thing.
It was definitely a scarymoment, but I told myself at
that point, there is, I'm goingto change your life.
I'm going to, I'm going tocreate a world where you don't
have to live the way that I did.
And it's taken time, but it onlyif I calculate the years, it
only took really Seven years.
(24:29):
I finished college by the timeshe was four.
I wasn't even in college whenshe was pregnant, but I went
back to college, finishedcollege by the time she turned
four, and then got my firstcareer job and just started like
really just, trying to climbthis little corporate ladder.
And I'm, I'm nowhere where Iwant to be, but I know that I am
way better than I was at thattime.
(24:50):
10 times better within,
Deryck Richardson (24:52):
Same, bro.
Same.
It's funny because I was, that,that switch that you talk about,
I was headed down the wrongpath, bro.
The wrong path.
And when that switch came on andI said, okay, we got to go
that's the feeling that men runfrom sometimes and women.
That's the feeling that peoplerun from.
I don't want to feel like this.
I don't want to feel thispressure to make sure that this
(25:13):
little being survives and notonly survives, but has a life
that is valuable.
And that is why they say I'm notthe father.
That's why there are more.
That's why they're on
Lirec (25:28):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (25:29):
bro.
Because they're scared of thatfeeling.
That's the feeling that willturn boys into men.
Lirec (25:36):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (25:36):
that feeling in the hospital you had is the
same feeling that will drop thetoughest men to their knees too,
and they'll start crying.
Lirec (25:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I put that I talked aboutthat moment.
I talked about that moment in mybook.
And when, like, when I was foundout I broke my book into
different sections of being ateenage father, a growing
father, and a the broke father.
I break it up to differentstages of my life and how I
navigated through fatherhood,through my trauma and trying to
become an impactful father.
(26:03):
But it was like that moment whenI found out she was pregnant, I
immediately got so scared that Iwas like I don't want to be
here.
I wasn't even near her.
She texted me, I was at Walmart,and I immediately said, I just
want to disappear.
This is, I have no idea whatthis means.
I was just like, I want todisappear.
I, can I run away?
Where can I go?
(26:24):
Will she find me?
I was like, I was thinking ofabortion.
I was thinking of every singlesolitary.
I was like, this can't be real.
I got to I got to make this goaway.
And not out of fear of anybody.
Cause my, my, my mom wasn'treally.
that active in my life likethat.
And and my grandmother alsowasn't that active.
I was really out on my own.
(26:44):
And so that, but it was like, Iwanted to do something big with
my life.
And I was like, I can't donothing big with my life.
But then I realized this kind ofhelped me do something bigger.
in my life than I ever wouldhave thought I could be.
But yeah, that fear definitelycrippled me for maybe 25 minutes
of texting back and forth withthe mother of my daughter.
(27:05):
I was like, I hit her with theusher talk.
I was like, put that oneverything.
Are you sure you don't put youtell me to test you take, she
said she took five.
But I say that to say during thepregnancy I was there, but I
didn't have a presence.
Like I, I was there doing themotions, but emotionally and
psychologically, I was like, itstill wasn't real to me.
(27:29):
But when she was born, firstoff, when she came out, I almost
vomited and I faint, almostfainted and vomit at the same
time.
But then when I held her, it, itswitched that switch was so
powerful.
I was like, yo, I gotta do, I'mgoing to do everything in my
absolute power.
I would never stop it.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
(27:49):
I didn't know what like whatthose steps were going to be.
I had no path.
I had no guidance.
I had no mentors.
I had no vision of what wasgoing to take place.
But I knew for a fact that forher, I will see a difference.
I will make something happen.
Yeah, man, it's been up eversince.
It's a powerful thing.
Deryck Richardson (28:07):
It's very powerful man.
It's very powerful.
And my mom, man my mom saidsomething that was powerful a
couple of years ago and that wasthat we have made her a double
empty nester because my mom isthe one that nurtures the entire
neighborhood.
So we were the house where allthe bikes were out in the front
yard.
We were the house where the kidsjust walked in and before they
said hello, they're in thefridge.
(28:27):
Just little neighborhood kids,right?
My mom was that, that was alwaysher her piece of comfort was to
be the matriarch of not only ourfamily, but of the neighborhood
and all of our friends.
And when she said that, I didn'tunderstand it.
I said a double empty nester.
She said, yeah.
She said, all these kids were inthe house and y'all grow up and
leave.
And y'all want to have kids allyoung.
(28:49):
And so guess who's babysittingthem?
I am.
So now all the grandkids are inthe house and now the grandkids,
the core the original grandkidshave started to to have their
own families and they're not inthe house anymore.
And she said, the house issilent.
I'll never forget my, my, myyoungest is 18.
He just graduated last year andwe sent him to Arizona to my
(29:10):
brother in law's.
And so we were empty nesters forabout six months, six months to
come back.
And the house was silent.
Lirec (29:17):
Yeah.
Deryck Richardson (29:18):
was silent, bruh.
And and I called my mom.
I said, now I know what youmean.
Now I know what you mean bybeing a double empty nester.
And but my mom Also was a senseof inspiration because there's
no way I can grow up in a housewith a matriarch as powerful as
my mother and then let downbeings that I created.
Lirec (29:39):
yeah, that's a different type of, that's a different type
of disappointment, to, I thinkthat it was like almost like a
yo I already made this decision.
It is what it is at this point.
Now I got to I have to show up,I have to show up and I have to
show out.
And I think I applaud you.
I applaud you on putting thatwork in and staying present and
(29:59):
having a presence in your kidslife and and continuing that to
build that family circle thatyou've continued from your
family.
And it's a beautiful thing.
And I'm like I said, I'm gonnalet you get back to dinner.
I have one last thing.
Can you tell what?
What is something that you havethat you would have in your
heart to tell fathers before wego to tell fathers?
(30:20):
that you feel would be a notonly a nugget of knowledge, but
something that can take andimplement into their lives right
now.
A strange fathers, new dads orfathers that are fathers to
young kids, fathers of teenagersthat hold you've been through
the, you've been through thespectrum.
So yeah.
What do you have?
Deryck Richardson (30:40):
Man, I got a lot of stuff to talk about.
So I know I got dinner waitingat home, but I'm going to go for
a couple minutes here becauseI'm going to tell you a story
that I'm going to answer yourquestion.
A couple years ago.
We it was more than a couple ofyears ago.
I've been in this office nowfor, whoof pushing nine years.
And so we switched from 1099 toW 2 probably seven, six, seven
(31:02):
years ago.
And when we switched from 1099to W 2, with that comes child
support for those who are put onchild support.
And I'm a very calm, cool, andcollected leader.
If I blow a gasket per se, it'sonce a year, it's my father,
(31:24):
right?
So let's talk about this, let'shave a seat, what's going on.
And these men who worked for me.
were complaining Lirec
Lirec (31:41):
how about paying child support?
Yeah.
All right.
Deryck Richardson (31:56):
children ride in that car Single didn't
nothing but get a bigger houseyour children live in the house.
Lirec (32:03):
Facts.
All
Deryck Richardson (32:09):
And you're sticking her you're so weak that
you are sticking a female,somebody who you laid down with
the full responsibility ofraising your child and then
going to complain about beingfinancially responsible, are you
serious?
Lirec (32:25):
right.
Thank you.
Deryck Richardson (32:25):
I went off bruh, on everybody.
I slammed this door.
Slammed this door right behindme.
And they said, what's wrong withhim?
And so the problem is that howcan you even raise your children
to be strong men if you aren'tstrong men?
Does the world have strongleaders if they're not, if
(32:46):
there's not strong men in thisworld and strong women, if
there's not strong people inthis world That our leaders and
our men can build and mold.
Then what does the future ofthis country and this world look
like?
You have a bigger responsibilitythan to just say hello, son or
(33:07):
daughter, I love you.
You have a responsibility toshape the future of this country
and of this world.
That responsibility, you acceptthe moment you lay down with
somebody.
So if you want to lay down withsomebody, you're accepting the
responsibility that if a beingcomes from this It is my
(33:29):
responsibility to make sure thatthis being makes this world
better.
How can you do that if you'renot present?
You're not only letting yourselfdown, your children down, the
mother of your children down,you're letting the world down.
If you do not step up and be agood father, you will fail.
Your children will hate you attimes.
(33:52):
They will love you at times, butthey'll hate you at times.
You will make mistakes.
There's no book on how toparent.
But if you're going to acceptthe responsibility, Of bringing
a life into this world and thenrun from it.
That's the worst thing you cando.
And I know that there's excusesout there.
(34:13):
Oh, but she ain't gonna let mesee my kids.
Lirec (34:15):
Right.
Deryck Richardson (34:15):
to court.
Oh, she got another man around.
So now another man is takingyour responsibility.
So now you've passed thatresponsibility on to another
man.
Oh, but I ain't got no money.
Go get some money.
I promise you there's money outhere to be had.
Oh, but this, oh, but that, oh,but this.
Stop with the excuses andremember your responsibility to
(34:37):
raise these children, to leavethis planet in a better position
than it was when you found it.
If that does not motivate you,then don't lay down with
anybody.
(35:22):
ll
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