Courage and Curves - Understanding Male Bonding for Women

Sorry about the audio on this episode, we caught it after the recordinging. Next time it will be better. 

Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Uh all right, so hi everybody. Hello, Hello, This is
the first episode of the rebranding.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Oh I forgot it? Is it Courage and Curves or girl?
We really just crawled under our boho baby rocks for
like a month and not been thinking about anything but Helen,
So welcome back to the very first episode of the
Courage and Curves podcast. Yes did you pick this name? Girl?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
When I tell you so? My husband is on a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich kick and he likes his
peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the opposite that I
like mine. But the problem is I don't remember how
I like mine. So he'll tell me I want more
peanut butter, but I'll start making the sandwich and I'll
be like, okay he said more jelly, and I'm like, no,
wait a minute, he said more peanut butters. No, I'm

(01:00):
just standing here with two slices of bread panicking. That's
kind of what just happened with the name of the podcast,
Curge and Curves.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
We're there, We're there, Hell, Hello, Hello, chat? How are
we today? Are you able to see the chat? Is
that a thing we figured out yet? Okay, we still
need to come that out.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Everybody's excited to be here. Hello, I see one person
saying it's frozen to this frozen?

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Are we animated? Oh? The delay is so real. Wow,
this is.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Going to have to be cut. Yeah, we are here
and seated. All right, take that as.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I hope y'all are sad because yoh, okay, delightful.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
End of the cut. So today this episode is more
geared towards ladies. Men feel free to watch so you
can have a deeper understanding of yourself as well in
your relationship. Today's conversation is going to be understanding male
bonding for females.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, it's a really interesting conversation.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
We're going to be talking about sex.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Were talking about sex, baby, Hey, gonna be feeling good?

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, I'm so excited.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Going to help you to understand to help them feel good. Yes.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
And when it comes to bonding, men and women bond
very very differently, so we hear all the time across platforms.
He doesn't want to spend time with me. We're in
the same room together, but he's not seeing me. And
this this is outside of the bedroom. This is just
basic connecting. And I'm not compatibility, but just intimacy.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah, yeah, just sort of like having that you live
in the same space and you're just floating by like ships. Like, yes,
there's sex, but after the physical intimacy of sex, it
seems like things fall flat. And we are going to
explain chemically, physically, biologically why that happens.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
So exciting. I'm very excited about A really big conversation
that I got hung up on was the build up
for men leading into the want for the intimacy in
the bedroom. And it is akin to like a woman
needing her engine warmed up. A man needs it in

(03:44):
the same way, just a different context. So today, so
I found I didn't find this. My husband sent this
to me, and then I sent it to bell. It
is a video from Adam Lane Smith on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
I can not.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Remember his credentials, but he has them and he listed them.
They're there, I promise. This is from the episode he
posted on his channel titled.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
My History. It's not titled my History.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
The video from Adam Lane Smith is titled eighty three
percent of women are using intimacy and oxytocin bonding wrong.
And there was a plethora of information. We watched this,
we made notes, and now we're going to have a
conversation to help just spread this information. Definitely want to
give credit where credits due. This is not our brain baby.

(04:37):
We're dressing up the brain baby. I'm gonna shall you
how can.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
We give sort of our perspective on the brain baby
things that we gleaned from his brain baby. I'm really
grateful you sent this to me. It made me have
a lot of realizations, not just about my current relationship,
but my past relationships and why things went the way
they did. It was very Aha. There's a lot of

(05:02):
running back there and being like, baby.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, well listen to what I just learned.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah, alright.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
So to jump into this episode, I don't know about you, Bell,
but I am somebody I need the definition of words. Well,
I don't want to just hear the word, I need
to understand why you're using it in this sentence in
this context. Right, So, jumping into just a couple of
definitions of some of the hormones that we're gonna be

(05:32):
going over that are released within the body. We're gonna
be mainly focusing on how they are released in men
and what they do and lead up to so oxytocin
in the moment of release having having that moment, that
bonding time, there is minimal, there is minimal release in
the moment, but there is a massive dopamine hit. So
it's the opposite. For women, our oxytocin kicks in almost immediately,

(05:56):
and that is that that cuddle hormone we want to
be loving and all those kinds of things. That does
not happen right away for the man. What does happen
is the dopamine. So the oxytocin is a hormone that
plays an important role in reproductive health. Its functions include
sexual the act of releasing. Yes, oxytocin is released during orgasm.

(06:21):
It helps to contract the muscles involved in the process,
and it also helps to maintain erection. It may contribute
to maintaining by enhancing blood flow. So oxytocin is out
of the three chemicals that we're looking to release in
the man in the moments of bonding not just in
the bedroom but lovingly and with one another. Is number

(06:44):
three out of all three we're talking today, I would
say number two for this is dopamine, and dopamine is
a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in various physiological
and psychological functions. In men, Dopamine is released when we
experience pleasurable activity such as eating, sex, or achieving goals.

(07:04):
It motivates us to seek out experiences again, and we
will touch on that a little bit. There is a
fun little analogy that Adam created or touched on. It
helps with mood regulation, and it also helps with cognitive function.
It's involved in attention, focus and memory. And then I
made a little note in this knowing that dopamine is

(07:30):
such a key ingredient you can say to the male
bonding in the moment right because that is the number
one thing that's hitting them in that moment of release.
Men are visual creatures, so when we read that it

(07:52):
affects their cognitive function. Dopamine is involved in attention, focus
and memory. If you, as a woman, are just laying there,
I just typed out, then in are visual creatures laying
there like a fish. Doesn't hit the dopamine correct And
I think that speaks for itself. And then we are
going to go into vasapressing. Vas oppressing was something I

(08:13):
learned about when I watched this video exactly.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
I had no it's but it's the one that turned
all the light bulbs on for me, and it made
so much sense because my husband and I have so
many discussions about men being problem solvers and all and
goal gold chasing. It's more their thing than ours, right right,
So it just made all all of the alarms sound

(08:36):
in my head and I was like, oh, I get it.
And I never thought to apply it to sex, right,
Like why have we not been making the puzzle for
sex too?

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Right? So, vasappressing is the number one hormone we're going
to pay attention to in this episode. This is the
build up for the men leading into the bonding with
the dopamine release and the oxytocin afterwards for the cuddle effect.
That's Oppressin is released during problem solving and high stress

(09:11):
situations in life. This is the bonding hormone for men.
This is we are surviving life as a team, We
are working together, we have a teammate in life. This
is the hormone when we're released and you are with
their with your man problem solving, not being combative or abrasive.

(09:31):
That is the hormone that makes him say this person
was my ally during a hard time, a depressing time,
whatever the case may be, and they were problem solving
with me. They didn't make it harder for me, and
I want to be around them forever. So before jumping
into anything else, is there anything that you would like

(09:52):
to touch on when it comes to talking about the hormones?

Speaker 2 (09:56):
I have very much, Like I know a lot about oxytocin,
and because of you know, childbirth, we learn so much
about how important it is for that initial oxytocin release
for the bonding with our child and it you know,
the skin to skin and everything, and we're going to
go into that and explaining how that works the same
with your your love or your man. But the vasa

(10:19):
press and I sort of one of my notes was
it's the protection hormone. Yes, and yeah, so that's sort
of when you're able to initiate this this hormone or
get them to release this hormone within themselves. It gives
them that want to and that sort of primal need

(10:40):
that a man has to protect a woman. But you
have to do that problem solving, goal setting sort of
team make it a team sport and not just a
And we're going to get into great detail about how
to make it a team sport and not just a
I know a lot of women do the whole here
for him kind of thing. But I think it's going

(11:03):
to be a very interesting conversation about how it is
very much and it never should be all about him.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
I agree, So just jumping in. The first note that
I made after touching on all of the hormones was
that Adam compared the dopamine hit akin to a man
ajoying a cheeseburger or winning at gambling. You, as a woman,
may think that he's falling for you after the act
of sex, when in his mind he just enjoyed a really,
really good meal. You think he's your soulmate, and he

(11:32):
think when he gets hungry tomorrow he gets to come
back for another burger. The whole burger analogy just it
absolutely blew my mind. And taking that step back and going, well,
women and cheeseburgers are not the same thing, right, that's
not the point here. We're trying to help connect the
dots in a metaphor.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Is that what that is?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Or is that an analogy We're gonna go with a metaphor.
He went on to say that a man can love
a burger so much the point that he will go
to the same burger joint for the next twenty years
and may even become upset when that burger recipe changes.

(12:13):
But that does not mean that he's exclusive only to
that burger joint. He may still go to Mexican restaurants.
He may still hit up the Chinese place and enjoy
of those as well. So sex is not going to
be the one thing that will keep the man interested
you and wanting him to keep coming back and enjoy
being around you.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
He's also not going to be willing to, you know,
go on strike for the burger joint or if something's
going on. He's not going to carry buckets of water
to the burger joint when it's on fire. He's not
going to make sure the burger joint, you know, is
running properly and in order and all her everything's up
to code. You know. He's not going to put the
time and effort to care and concern into the burger joint.

(13:00):
He just shows up, pay for the burger and leaves, yeah,
and of burgerger quickly, sloppily, doesn't check on the burger after,
definitely doesn't care if she's got sauces dripping. It's just
a burger, yes, And.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
When burger cling, when burger king, has closed, five guys
is open.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Just something to think about.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Right, something to think about.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
So jumping into the vas oppressing, vas oppressing, vasipressing.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
How do you say that, thesuppressing vasopressing, I'm vasopressing verso
verse so pressing. Okay, word.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
So we touched on that. That is the the bonding hormone,
the protection homer hormone. This is going to be my
mate because they are my teammate. They're making my life easy.
Men have significantly more vast oppress and receptors and women
do by nature, which is why men are more logical
thinkers and problem solvers. We know women and men butt

(14:10):
heads all the time. Emotionally, I feel like you're not
listening to me, You're lecturing me while I'm providing solutions
for you. You just want to keep going in circles
about how you're feeling. And there's that wall between the
male and female energy trying to communicate. And it's because
of those vast oppressing receptors in the mind.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Right. I like to think of it as like women
use mostly and don't mostly oxytocin. Right, It's a feely
it's emotional chemical. Men have the vis oppressin and that
is their problem solving logical brain. How can we do
this the most efficiently for both people to enjoy it
kind of people, and we have to find a way

(14:49):
to have balance there because we both need We both
have great benefits from us getting that vasapressin released from
them and them getting our oxytocin release. You know, but
if if one overpowers the other or one's just not
there at all, you're either you're gonna have that. A
lot of women because of that oxytocin dump that happens

(15:13):
for us. That's why we feel a lot of the
time like we're being love bombed right after and then
it drops off because yeah, you were so your body
was love bombing you because you were feeling all of
this oxytocin. They may have just gone to the next
cheeseburger joint, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
And then we touched on this as a hormone that
makes it more protective, more primal. That is the that's
that Neanderthal hormone. You said you hungry, I'm gonna go
kill a sabertooth tiger. I'll be back in three days
and then come back and we're gonna eat the saber
tooth targra I'm a throw you around the cave like, yeah,

(15:58):
that is that primal I'm going to provide for the woman.
I'm going to look masculine. She's going to shower me
with affection and love afterwards, and we're going to touch
on what that affection and love looks like for men.
After that dopamine hit starts to happen. So men are

(16:19):
goal oriented by nature and want to bond over their wins.
Women want to make his life easier without making requests
or sharing their needs, and this leaves the man with
no way to bond with the woman. So if you
are a woman, who oh, I don't want to make
his life too hard. I don't want to add too
much to his plate. I don't want to be a burden.
I don't want to spend too much money. Whatever the
case may be, you are, it's a self sabotaging cycle

(16:43):
that you're creating, because now, like we've said, you are
removing the opportunity for him to have that bonding moment
and have that win with his woman. The most beautiful
woman in the world to him, He's chosen you out
of everybody he could have chosen, so even small things, Babe,
my tires a lowe.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Can you put air in them?

Speaker 1 (17:02):
I got that. He comes back home, you love upon him,
you touch his face and give him kisses. There's that
dopamine hit, the vast oppression hit. He had the problem solve,
figured it out, came home, dopamine hit happened, and then
right and once we get into the groovy bouncechi of
brown bowel, right then the oxytocin levels after the dopamine hit.

(17:25):
Now that we're learning how to do it in our
day to day life, you'll be able to see it
in the sexual context as well.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Right, So many women, I think, especially that we've spoken
to recently, it's the dealing with the roommate phase, and
a lot of the stories they're telling I'm hearing when
they're cutting their men off from that possible visuppressing response
because they're not letting them love them in the way
a man loves a woman. A man loves a woman

(17:51):
by taking care of her, by problem solving for her,
by completing tasks and goals that were set out for him.
And when we completely remove that from the equation and
we don't give them the opportunity to love on us
in the way that men naturally genetically love on us.

(18:12):
Then yes, you're going to hit the room mate face
because they're no longer going to be bonded to you,
because they're not getting that opportunity to release the vaca pressin.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
They need to feel useful, they need to feel like correct.
What they are doing is for purpose, and the purpose
is to make you happy. And if your man is
constantly feeling like he's not good enough, he comes home
and it's immediately honeydoo list or you didn't do this
yesterday when I told you after you came home from work,
and now it's a problem today, whatever the case may be. Yeah,

(18:47):
that's a shutdown of any opportunity to make you happy.
And it's a very clear indicator. Body language is eighty
percent of conversation. So when you are not being lovingly
in a physical way, whether that be making flirtatious faces
or shaking your ass when you walk past them by
why he's sitting at the computer doesn't even have to
be a whole moment. It can just be a brif

(19:08):
little but do do and then you're going on your way.
But he just had oh okay, she she just shook
that shit for me, I'm about to win this game.
That is that the reaffirmation that he is doing the
right thing in life by fulfilling that purpose and being
useful to you in a manner that is team building

(19:30):
or overcoming obstacles being the teammate.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Now, I want to ask you this because we have
seen it in our comments quite a bit on TikTok.
You said the being physically responsive and touching and showing
intimacy in that way, like outside of the bedroom things.
What about the women that are going to say, well,
I'm just not a physical person, or I'm just not
that affectionate. I'm just not that that person. You could be.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Right, I'm not a ballerina, but I could take classes.
It's all perspective, and it all boils down to how
much are you willing to put yourself outside of your
current comfort zone? Right, So there's us, there's our our
comfort zone discomfort, and then the shit that can actually
hurt us on alive us, whatever the case may be.

(20:25):
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is not going to
kill you. And if you try something new, and you
actually try something that, you don't just do it one time,
be like, this is not For me, I always give
something four chances, like zoomba, classes, certain type of workout,
whatever the case may be. And if it doesn't feel right,
doesn't feel good, it's not giving me something in my

(20:46):
own cup, then I'm going to change what I'm doing.
You don't need physical touch to shake your ass for
your man. You don't need physical touch to flash him
as he's walking out the doorway.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
It's excuses. It is its excuses, and it's just that
even those little things, those are some of my favorite
little moments and they make me feel so good about
myself because that look I'm going to give it. Yeah,
the look I'm going to get, the cheeky little look
I'm going to get from that man in there, give

(21:18):
me that all day. Yes, that's the cheeseburger I want.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yes, yes, ma'am. Okay, is there anything on your notes
that you want to touch on?

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Uh? And what we were kind of going into it,
because I put a big thing at the top of
mine is what are women doing wrong? You know? Because
we all just think it's that continuous All men just
suck mentality and there couldn't possibly be something that I'm

(21:52):
not doing right. I'm I'm sleeping with him five times
a week? Is it not enough? Well, no, because you're
getting all the oxytocin, right, and they're getting no va
suppressing unless unless they are and then there's just other
Hamburger stands you can play in my brain at that point.

(22:15):
But I just I kind of wanted for all women
to sort of approach this and listen to the things
we're saying, as it's not that you're doing anything wrong,
but what can I learn here? Right? What can I
do better here? What can I learn here? And you
may try some of these things and your husband be like,
this is who is this woman that slipped in the

(22:36):
house in the night? Did I get a new wife? Right? Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:42):
And then on point of that, if you do try
these things and he's checked out, So you guys have
been in the roommate phase for the last six years
or the last year and a half, and he is
uninterested and completely disconnected, sex would be the last thing
on my mind. I'm looking to repair the friend bond

(23:02):
that we have before we move into the romantic bond
and then the sexual bond. But I like, like you
were saying, this is definitely an exciting conversation. I can't
wait to see what is what is taken from this.
And like every conversation I can ever be had, there
will be people who manipulate things or twist things to
fit a narrative, and this is all being shared with

(23:25):
with the best hopes in bringing couples back together.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah, let's see, we did it about vacapressin and why
it is so importante intimate activities. Did you want to
talk a little bit about because I have intimate activities
release oxytocin for women and trigger deep emotional attachment. So

(23:56):
and that would sort of lead into how we can
help to release that oxytocin for them. Okay, in the moment,
there were different scenarios and different things that we may
not have tried before. A lot of the oxytocin does
not get released for a man if you lay there

(24:19):
like a fish. That was one of like the biggest
conversations that he had that Adam had for me, because
I sort of thought about all of these women that
we've spoken to and that I've spoken to just in
little friend groups, and they're just complaining. They're like, well,
I just I didn't know, I don't really know what
to do. So I just sort of laid there and

(24:39):
then their relationship is suddenly falling apart, and that the
whole video that we watched was like, Oh, it's because
he's not getting oxytocin. He's not it's not triggering the
face oppress and he's not getting that bond. He's literally
just eating the cheeseburger and going to bed. So did

(25:01):
you want to speak anything about I did so. I actually.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Made notes on all three of his points in regards
to getting that oxytocin to release in him for that bonding,
And the first one was goal setting connection, The second
one was the drunk octopus, which I absolutely loved.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I love the drunk opus.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
And then number three was aftercare. Yes, So from my understanding,
oxytocin isn't released until the orgasm is met, So we're
getting the dopamine hit in the man with the build up,
he's he's releasing. The dopamine HiT's gonna be greater than
the oxytocin hit. To touch on what you were speaking on,

(25:49):
to get his oxytocin levels up, skin skin contact, skinner skin, yes,
have him?

Speaker 2 (25:56):
How many was that? Sorry? How many times have you
caught yourself? Okay? I get it you're tired and you're
just laying there and you've caught yourself like the only
point of contact is the cookie jar and the salami, right, Okay,
like like it if have like everybody does it, We

(26:19):
just don't think about it because we're like, let's just
get this over with kind of mentality, and you're not
thinking about what sex actually is and what an opportunity
for connection and intimacy and bonding that it is. But
imagine if you could make every time the greatest time, Like,
why would you not want to do that? And that

(26:40):
is why you want to have more than one point
of contact? Put your whole self on him.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yo, I'm like the little right, the drunken octopus.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yes, I'm like a I don't know, I'm like a parasite, right,
I'm getting in around. Let me I my man's skin. Yeah,
we're one body right now? Yeah, yes exactly, I'm in
that neck, I'm in that armpit, I'm inhaling.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Oh yeah, I get in all the phaeromones. Yeah, I'm
drinking it.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I'm drinking it, thank only. Yes, yep.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Uh So to touch on that, the drunken octopus, Adam
went hard on this. He was like, touch him to
release the oxytocin. You need to look like a drunken
octopus looking for your keys. And that was a direct quote.
So just like how Bell was just throwing herself around,
like literally, encompass your man. This is gonna be I
am your cocoon. We are now in this plane of

(27:39):
astral projection together. Reus of the world don't exist. His
whole body needs to be stimulated. Only one connection point,
like you were saying, is not enough. Use your hands
to touch his face, his hair, pull him in, scratch
his back. Be a vengeful tiger like Adam says. And
see what he says. When that dopamine hit is happening

(27:59):
and it's being released, and it's going, and it's going,
your pain and your pleasure receptors meld. So I'm not
saying make the man bleed, but let's pretend he has
a scratch on his lung and we're gonna get it. Yeah,
use your legs to pin him against you, use your feet.
We were born primed for human contact and connection, So

(28:23):
as infants, all we know is our mother's womb and
that warmth and that comfort, and then being born, we
seek out comfort when we're hurt before we even understand
what we're doing. And it's the same thing in that
very vulnerable emotional state. Wrap him up in warmth. Oh,
I thought you were frozen. You were sitting so still.
I was like, did I lose?

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, I'm listening. I'm set, queen, I'm set.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
He's not just your man. You guys, time is time
doesn't exist. It's not finite, it's not linear. I believe
that the eighteen hundreds and twenty twenty five are happening simultaneously.
So you're not just hugging your man in this moment.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Of like pure ecstasy.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
You're hugging the little version of him that was in
the womb, that was ready to be loved by the world,
and you get.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
To do it. Yes, yep, it's so good. Oh got it.
I think that we forget so many times because we do,
especially we've been married fifteen years. You know, you sort
of a sign we never have because we're different A

(29:28):
lot of people a sign. Sex is just a task.
It's just a task. It's like, all right, I know
people who schedule it like birthday, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's
Like this is when we're doing it. It couldn't be me,
absolutely not. I would cease to be, I would cease

(29:49):
to exist. But looking at it like that as a chore,
as a task is something, there's a reason you don't
enjoy it. It may be from trauma, it may be
from something else. None of that has anything to do
with this man that you love and are devoted to.
Right so you you owe it to yourself to put

(30:10):
in the effort to make it an enjoyable experience. And
the bonding and that chemical release just makes it the
experience so much better and can actually help to heal
and change the way you're viewing it. As you know,
Oh he's coming home early, plan a little plan, a
little bit, going to be in a little number when

(30:30):
he walks in, or no number at all. Flash, yeah,
just yo, here it is m M yeah. I just
I want people to stop, and women especially because there
are men absolutely that don't don't enjoy it because they've
never had an enjoyable experience in the bedroom. Someone has

(30:51):
made it either feel like a task or a field taboo.
I know that a lot of the ways that people
were raised, they feel like, you know, a lot of
the things our taboo and it's just for breeding or whatever.
But it's such a beautiful, wonderful experience. And it's like,
I don't know if y'all are just having bad sex.

(31:11):
I don't know because I'm in the galaxies. We're swimming around. Yeah,
we're on unicorns, on rainbows. Yeah. Yeah, I love life
for us, bro Yop, you need one of those things

(31:32):
that as soon as the door to your bedroom opens, it's.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yep, Alexa put on mood lighting. Yes, oh she's talking
to me. She actually heard me.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Wow. You know when I when we used to be
on Live and I'd like have things and Chris would
say something to my Alexa, she'd just start talking. I'm
glad he doesn't try to pump me like that anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I want to jump into Do you have anything else
on that conversation before you?

Speaker 2 (32:09):
I think that was our more than one point of contact. Yeah,
touch them all over.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, and just get on him and not him on
his bicep.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Bob in like a tree, even if you're taller than him.
It on top of his head and staying there. I
don't know the headboard. Wwe right, Like, why are we
not doing something?

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Goal setting connection, ladies. I'm about to challenge the fuck
out of you. Are you ready get out your notebooks?
I'm already be more sexually open and make it known
what makes you feel good. When you do not share
your needs and are only focused on his pleasure, you're
encouraging him to use your body to masturbate. He could

(32:56):
have done that experience with himself. You just happened to
be in the room. And this ties back into laying
there like a fishing gonna do it for him. Don't
be passive in the act. Be active in the act.
You look like you're gonna say something. You wanna jump
on the train.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
I just love it. This is one of my favorite
topics to talk about ever. I just was I was
sitting there making my notes, and I was like, we're
really going to be Doctor Ruth tomorrow. I loved Doctor
Ruth growing up, me and my mom watched her. Yeah,
and I just felt like, we're just embodying with this episode.
Why are we not? Which? I get it because I

(33:38):
was that meek person and secure me know what to say,
but I knew I wasn't getting what I wanted, and
I wanted things, and it's just jumping over that. I'm
scared to ask for this thing, y'all. They want you
to ask for things. Contrary to popular belief, men want

(34:01):
their women to feel good what they want you to have.
And mister Adam discussed multiple orgasms a lot, and men
want you to do it a lot, Yeah, a lot,
especially if that if that base of pressing is there,
that's going to be one of their goals is to
just how many times can I make her do that thing?

(34:22):
I really like watching her do that thing? Yeah, I
like that. Yeah, and I did that. Let me do
it again, let me see if I can do it better. Right.
But they can't do any of those things if you're
just yeah, you know, tell them what feels good, tell
them what doesn't feel good, give them puzzles and problems

(34:44):
to solve. Be like, I think it would feel good
if you did this, or he Adams said, kiss me more? Yep,
Like why are we afraid to ask for things in
the bedroom? Men want to make us feel good?

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yes, yeah, yeah, And you know I think that that
mindset that men don't care about how women feels come
from that long history of it being shown that to
a certain type of man. I don't view this type

(35:18):
of person as a man, but women are below them,
and they will treat us poorly. They will treat us
with disrespect and not speak to us as equals. That's
not majority of men. I know a lot of really
good men, now that I've got my shit together. When

(35:39):
you change your circles and the patterns of yourself, the
people that you surround with yourself with, right, if you're upgrading,
the people around you were going to upgrade as well.
And it might not be the same people, yes, but
the quality of person will upgrade. And there are so
many good men out there who just want to love
a woman and make her feel good.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Absolutely at the that's I haven't thought about that, but
you know I used to because I've been on the
internet for a long time, and especially like in fitness,
you get all of the gross dudes in the comments,
and like the more that I hold myself to a
higher standard and have put people around me that love

(36:19):
and respect me, those other people just don't seem to
be around anymore. The level of men. Obviously, the only
man I have romantically in life is my husband's end
all be all, so other men respect that and don't
act sideways anymore. But you're going to like. The more

(36:41):
you hold yourself to a higher standard and surround yourself
with better people, you're going to weed out and those
lower you know, value, I guess lower hanging fruit types
of men aren't even going to They're just going to
be intimidated to not not even step up to you.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Right, Sam, I want to touch on two things, he
said to piggyback off of your The low hanging fruit.
The easiest fruit to pick up is the ones that
have already hit the ground. But those ones that are
also rotting, they're not in the best state. Probably wouldn't
eat that. The best fruit you're gonna have to search
for and feel around and pick. And so I love

(37:21):
that little analogy you just said. I also wanted to
touch on that, the intimacy touch like you, guys, when
you are in a monogamous marriage. I saw somebody say
that earlier today. Monogamy is my gang, and you stepped
on my flag.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Love that like.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
High touch intimacy, Like the drunken octopus, he can only
get that from you. You are the only woman who
can provide that to him. So if he is touch
starved or touch deprived, or it's even being used as
a weapon because you're feeling a certain way right now,
you are almost atrophying his bonding mechan the the bonding hormones,

(38:02):
the way that his brain works when he does want
to engage and be loving with you. There always has
to in my mind, unless divorce is happening. It's not
on the table. Divorce is happening. We are separating. There
is no coming back from this. We will outside of
that situation. There will always be a baseline of my marriage.

(38:24):
We can be pissed off, we can be frustrated. I
can be absolutely infuriated at something that you said the
other day, or whatever the case may be. But when
I get up to go to the kitchen, I'm gonna
ask you if you want something. Absolutely When when I
walk past you and you're sitting at your computer desk,
I'm going to kiss the back of your head and
rub your neck. There We're not We may not be
goofy with each other. They may not be high intimacy

(38:45):
happening like sex, but we are still going to have that.
I'm not abandoning you. I love you, I care about you.
Even in this moment of turmoil in our relationship.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
We can have a disagreement and I need some time
so we don't address it before bed. When we go
to bed, I'm still wrapping my leg around you. I'm
putting my head on your chest, next to your armpit.
I'm gonna rub this side of your face because that's
why would I take that away from him? Why would
I take that away from us for that oxytocin to happen?

(39:16):
Because and this is like a little little hint life
hack almost or marriage hack, that oxytocin may completely remedy
whatever the disagreement was, right, like, if you can fix
it that easy, just a cuddle, Come on, now, why

(39:37):
wouldn't we do that? I love loving up on my
man and he's warm and I'm cold.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
It feels so much better than fighting too and yelling
and spectologious.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I don't feel good. I just immediately feel like I
have the flu when we're not on good terms. It's like,
why is why is this affecting my entire body? But
I'm not interested in doing it ever again? About anything?
Nothing is a big enough deal.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Uh. To continue on with the verbalizing things, you said
something along the lines of Adam said, kiss me more,
and I wrote that down. He said if you can't
think of anything to say, Just tell him help me
get there?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
And yes, I have that in bold, help yo get there,
help me help a sister too. Yes, that's going to
release that vast oppressing Yeah, yo, it's like, oh, let
me put my tool built on. Let's see what I
got here? Exactly.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
I love it, And yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
It activates his problem solving brain. Therefore he will release vesuppressant.
Therefore he will be doing that bonding on that deeper level,
becoming that protector, coming back to the Hamburger stand yes,
day after day.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
Which will lead to the dopamine release, which will keep
him wanting to come back as well. Because this isn't
only just a feel good moment for him. He's making
you feel good and you can view it like leveling
up in a video game for him.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yes, I put helping you get there helps validate his skill. Yes,
men need validation, and especially in the bedroom. Why do
you think in every rom column that you say when
they're in the bedroom afterwards, the man says, was that
good for you? Or did that feel good? Because they
need the validation, like it's not that hard, it's not

(41:44):
that hard, it's not we're just very like, I don't
know about that. I don't know about dude. You could
say there's not one look I said, we're different. I'm
not going into detail. That one's no good keeping a
YouTube safe. There's not one thing I've ever asked my

(42:04):
husband to do that. He's been like, no, get right,
I'm not doing that. I was like, I want to
try this thing, and he's like, all right, let's go
to Low's right. Yeah, how can we make this happen?
My gosh, the contraction, he's like drilling stuff into the ceiling.
You know, there's looks like certain dis a lay back there.

(42:27):
Oh yeah, But if you don't ask, how is it
going to? What are you gonna do? You know, just
keep complaining about how you're detached from your man and
your sex life sucks and you want all these things
like just ask they want to. They're that base depressing

(42:48):
is there for us? Yes it is?

Speaker 1 (42:53):
And like we said, it's like leveling up in a
video game.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
For them.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Every time they reach an achievement, there's bells and there's
whistles and they get this little pop up on this
there's a little dopamine hitd of Oh that was fun.
I don't want to do that again, and then they
keep going until they get to the epitome of the
game where there's this massive boss fight and they're they're
doing everything they can to beat it because this is
this is the whole reason we're playing the fucking game. Yeah,
you need to let him know when he's getting there.

(43:18):
Give pointers. That feels great. I like it when you
do that. Stuck on my toes, like whatever whatever you
need in the moment, and that direction, that structure the
same way in a video game, men enjoy from my understanding,
right because I have my husband. He enjoys games that
he can roam around in, but he still wants structure

(43:40):
and direction so he knows what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
Right. He open world, He likes open world, but he
does want the original storyline, right, I still play, right, Yeah,
side quests are optional. Mm hmm. Yeah, we're an open world. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
And to touch on what you were saying about men
wanting to problem solve, Oh no, where'd my note go?
It's gone? It doesn't matter. I want to touch on
this thing very Adam specifically said avoidant men require a
lot of touch during sex. So if you're having a

(44:19):
very hard time emotionally connecting with your avoidant man. You
need to be more active, more vocal, more touchy, more
excited during that sexual intimacy time for those three key
hormones for him to feel more, safer, more comfortable, whatever
the case may be, in your guys as a relationship
to meet those needs outside of the bedroom.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Right, And you're gonna get a lot of women's like, well,
he's an avoidant man, I'm afraid to do these things.
It's a lot like exposure therapy. It's like the more
you do it, the more you are sort of teaching
his c ands, his central nervous system to accept those
as not a trauma anymore.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Right, yes, ma'am, let's see. And then I've just made
a couple of other notes. Twenty five percent of women
orgasm generally from sex, and it could be because he's
viewing you as the burger. He is using you to masturbate.
This is not something that he is engaging in with you.

(45:22):
This is something that he is engaging in to get
the release from. And those are two totally different things.
I also want to touch on the aftercare. How important
aftercare is so our oxytocin is flowing his oxytocin is
kind of there. It helped with the release of it all.

(45:42):
Adam specifically said, have him rest his head on your chest.
First off, men, love brust. Who's gonna say no to that,
to that skin of skin contact, like what we were
talking about prior that touch that we crave, how our
bodies have been primed from birth for human can and touch.
That is going to be the fastest way for both

(46:03):
of you guys to get your oxytocin release. And it
may also lead to another round. He may be so
into what's going on in all of this and it
who knows.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Yeah, so that and he spoke on it, and that's
It's one of the first things you learned in like
the What to Expect when you're expecting the book, you
know they talk about the baby is born, you lay
them on your chest. That oxytocin happens. The first thing
a child goes for is abreast. It's nourishment, it's food,
it's warmth, it's safety. Cradling his head, guys, just try it.

(46:38):
What is the harm in just trying it? After the act,
you know you both fall under your pillows. Just wrap up,
Just ease him over there and see what happens. It
may be this life changing sort of thing where that
that visuppressing bond happens. But I wanted to kind of

(46:59):
hop back to you mentioned the twenty five percent of women.
Only twenty five percent of women are reaching orgasm, because
I want I want us to take responsibility for this
and not just be a well it's he he doesn't
He just doesn't care if I if I come or not.

(47:20):
Did you help? Did you say help me get there?
Did you tell him? Guys? Well, you are one hundred
percent cool to tell a man if something doesn't feel good,
like be an active player in this video game, because
otherwise they're just going to think that you you're checked out,
you're passive. They're definitely not coming out. They're The real

(47:43):
review is going to be a one. Yes, they're not
coming back to this cheezburger stand if you just let
them do their thing, because there are other cheeseburger stands
that are going to be like giving them a whole
laundry list of stuff they like. Oh and men love direction,
you know, so don't feel shy about asking for things

(48:04):
he need or the things that turn you on, whatever
that may be. What's the worst that could happen, They
could say no and not call you back. And I mean,
if that, do you really want a guy who's not
willing to try to make you feel good? Right, I'm
not interested. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
As you were speaking, all I could think about was,
in my mind, the most powerful person in the world
is a.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Woman who's loved right by a man.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Oh yeah, right, like that movie can tell me anything, right,
like three hundred right, Yes, that's this is Sparta right. Yeah,
Oh my god. The relationship that they had. I cried
multiple times just from them looking at each other. He
hinged every decision he made on what would make their

(48:55):
relationship the best it could be, Like he, my gosh,
a man who is willing to burn the world down
for the woman that he loves you. There is no
more power than you can have as a woman, and
that that is right. With great power comes great responsibility.
And the man that loves you, who is willing to
do anything to see you smile, abusing that or manipulating

(49:18):
that and using it against them because you're frustrated or
you're angry, or you're feeling however you're feeling.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
You're not just.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Punishing him, you are rewiring his brain to understand that
the way that he is supposed to love is inappropriate.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Wow. I had not thought about it that way. Yeah. Yeah,
you're you're stopping him from doing something that is so
natural to him and teaching him that it's wrong. Said crazy.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
That was all of my notes. Do you have any
other notes that you'd like to touch on?

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yes, the light paps my head on chest, the cuddling.
I kind of want to hear something like you speak
a little bit about I put men do not want
a low maintenance experience. And I think that this so
much bleeds over not just out of the bedroom, because

(50:21):
men do not want a low maintenance bedroom experience. But
my man has told me specifically he doesn't want a
low maintenance woman, period, Like give me a purpose, give
me things you need. You need to get your nails done,
you need to go to the salon and get your
hair done. You need me to do this and this
and this. Guys, this is them asking for responsibilities to

(50:45):
be the protector, to have that vasa press and release
and the more. And this is not let's not get
this confused with a honeyde list. I hate a honeyde list.
While men are very task oriented that bleeds into nagging
so easily of a just to come constantly reminding them, honey,

(51:08):
do that, honey dew, honeydew, you know, but setting goals
and things for them and things that you need, like
like on three hundred. He just wanted her to have
the world right. And once men have that vase of
press and bond with you, that lifetime bond they want
to give you, they want to burn the world for you.

(51:31):
Yes they do. Yeah, So no low note maintenance experiences.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
I'm gonna I'm gonna piggyback off of that. Just a
quick shout out for anybody who's listening back. We are
currently live for our Patreon on our Discord members. Belle
has her own server we have hours with to be better.
And a quick shout to somebody in the chat she said, honey,
do me list Yes, Yes, that's the only honey doo
we're giving out.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
It's me. Yeah, it's going to be the news. I'm
just gonna start texting him that at work. Yeah, here's
your honeydealist for the day, my ass. When you get home,
me over here, here, me over here, yeah, me over here. Yeah, yep.

(52:18):
I love if your life doesn't look like that, then
this is if your marriage doesn't look like that, this
is the perfect episode for you. Yes, I think we
have we have some answers. Yes, there's only some things
you can try, try and stuff right, try some things.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
And and then to piggyback off of your low maintenance conversation,
when I hear low maintenance, I think of like a
seven eleven bathroom, right right, Like, so, so if I
if I am going somewhere, I care highly of me.
So the places that I'm going to, I would like

(52:55):
them to be well taken care of and maintained and
smelling nice and looking good and whatever the case. Maybe
there may be a little bit of a mess, but
overall there's consistency, So I'm not mad about it.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Right.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
That is the low maintenance versus the high maintenance. You
do not have to be spending hundreds of dollars to
be considered high maintenance. High maintenance to me is I'm
not going to tolerate shitty boundaries. I'm gonna let you
cross my boundaries. I'm gonna hold you to a standard
of a man what I believe my husband's going to be.
And I'm gonna get my nails, my hair done, whatever
or whatever, whateverever, Oh why are you making a face.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
He went to work. I heard him lock the door
and he texted me, I love you, Bigley. I hate that.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
I mean, I hate that he's leaving, not that he
loves you glorification. I hate that he's abandoned you.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
I'm gonna say that. It's not like, yeah, I'm high maintenance,
so he's got to go to work. That is true.
I do you know That's that sort of leads into
he goes to work joyfully because he knows it's providing

(54:03):
for me. That's one of those goal setting and having
to be maintained and needing things. You're giving them another purpose.
He's going to dump some basopressent, Yes he is, because
he knows I am here doing this work, providing for
my woman, so that later I'm gonna get an oxytocin

(54:24):
dopamine release, you know. And it's all connected.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
It's all connected. And you know what else gives the
dopamine release to your man when he comes home from
work and you're like, Daddy, I missed you so much.
I can't wait for us to cuddle on the couch.
Whatever the case, may be I made your favorite dinner,
whole shitty day at work, comes home, this feels good.
I want this to continue happening, So I'm going to
keep coming home to get met with this energy. It's

(54:47):
a whole secular cycle, cylindrical circular. You guys know what
I'm trying.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
To say, cyclical cyclical whatever cyclical cycle?

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Did I just say, try macha?

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Oh my goodness. So I know that there are like,
there are a lot of women and you guys have
had it on the podcast before, people writing in and
things like they're they're playing video games all the time.
They don't pay attention to me. We're so disconnected or

(55:25):
I'm trying, he's not responding. What are some steps that
you think women could take to sort of get that
ball rolling, get that ball and re establishing a connection
in hopes of having what we're discussing.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
Oh man, So there's so much this conversation, right, because
it depends on context, because like, how far gone are
you guys?

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Gone? Right? Gone? Okay?

Speaker 1 (55:54):
So like no sex in months? In months, Okay, I'm
going to take it that. There's also a lack of
intimacy outside of the bedroom. So we're not cuddling. We're
not holding hands. There's distance between us on the couch.
I would also take it that majority of conversation is
like household duties, life duties, children if we have them,

(56:16):
not not fun conversations. I would start with having fun
together again. I wouldn't maybe like maybe sex, right, it
depends on where you guys are at and why you
guys haven't been intimate for so long. But I would
start with the laughter and having fun together again, and
cracking jokes and being goofy and dancing in the house

(56:39):
like men get enjoyment out of us enjoying ourselves and
our lives. So there's nothing like me dancing through the
house and my husband dropping everything he's doing just to
watch me go, and then he gets back into whatever
he's doing, right, and then that's a little spurt of
that's why I married that woman. So I'd bring back fun,

(57:00):
being goofy, all those kinds of things, and of course
start initiating intimacy again. And intimacy isn't sex sex and
intercourse is its own separate entity from intimacy. Sit in
his lap, ask to lay down next to him on
the couch, hold his hand, brush his hair, shave his head.
I love shaving my husband's head. You guys can touch

(57:24):
feet on the couch as you watch your favorite movie,
put your phones down, and spend quality time together. And
then when it comes to intimate, getting into the intercourse
and the sexy time, initiate.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Oh my gosh, my.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Husband tells me that's one of the sexiest things that
I do as his woman is initiating. Men want to
feel desired. They don't want just to hear that they're
desired and that they're sexy and they're handsome. They want
to feel sexy and handsome and desired. And that can
look like you're walking up to your man like I
can't stop thinking about your cock. Yeah, let's go get

(58:04):
it wet and then boom, like we are going just
put it out there.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
I love that. I love like we actually got there
to the like it was a it borderlined on an argument.
We don't have a lot of arguments. And this was
more than two years ago that this happened. That you know,
I was feeling disconnected and the sex was not where

(58:34):
I wanted it, And he's like, well, I'm tired of initiating. Mmm,
Like it's always it doesn't happen unless I started like
I want to feel wanted to and that was like
hewn a brick wall. Yeah, they want to feel wanted
to initiate. I mean, say some off the wall on

(58:59):
keen shit, be filthy, be nasty, it's okay, Like who's
You're not gonna get in trouble. We're at a home. True,
I'm going to get in trouble. The worst that could
happen is you could accidentally send it to the work
group chat or the chat with this mom and dad.

(59:20):
That's a thing that happens to some people who don't
look at their phones before they send things. That's the
thing that happens to people who have also have their
dad and their daddy as daddy in the phone. That's
just just be safe and just be safe in these streets.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Pay attention, don't walk around with our shoes on.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Yeah. Yeah, But they want to feel wanted and they
want to feel needed. It's that vice pressing. It's that
I want to go to work for you, I want
to build you a house, I want to do all
these things. I want you to be the princess up
on the pedestal.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Yes, yeah, men and women get their love meters filled differently.
We get ours filled emotionally, men get their filled physically.
So if there is a disruption in that flow, say
you're not getting your emotional needs met, so you're withdrawing physically.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Like at this point, we're just in a drought.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Nobody is getting nourishment, nobody is getting their cup filled.
Whatever the case may be, somebody is going to have
to break that radio silence. Either he needs to reach
out emotionally or you need to reach out physically, And
there has to be a common ground understanding that he
is not emotional the way we are. Like we said,

(01:00:40):
they have more of those vas oppress and receptors than
we do in our minds and in our brains, and
we have more of the the oxytocin. That's how we
get our bonding and whatnot. So if he's not filling
your emotional needs and that's why you're withdrawing physically, you
need to give him a roadmap on what it's like

(01:01:02):
to handle your brain. So if you are shutting down
emotionally and you need physical touch, and you just expect
him to know that because what we've been together for
five years, No, you need to say that out loud.
There are still times where my husband and I get
into disruptions, or even something external in our life comes
in and it makes me emotional and anxious. Whatever the
case may be. I tell him what I need in

(01:01:24):
the moment, he will ask me, babe, what can I do?
What do you need from me?

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Which you need from me?

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Yes, Being neurospicy and having all of those things going
on in my brain him trying to pick and choose
and guess which one is the right answer. I may
be over too stimulated. I may be too overstimulated for
a compression hug. But you brushing my hair would really
help me right now?

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Having men fill in the blanks adds more to their
plate and their life, and it makes them not want
to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Think about that either, Yeah, I mean the things that
I have needed in the way that I have wanted
things done has obviously it evolves because we're we're ever
changing and the things we like are going to be
going to be ever changing, and we communicate very deeply.
My husband and I love that, so he does expect. Yeah,

(01:02:22):
he does expect, like bullet points and then elaborations upon that,
like what do you need? How do you need it,
what's going on kind of thing. But I think that's
the people that don't have that. It's another one of
those A. Either you've never given your man an opportunity
to be a problem solver for you. B you have

(01:02:45):
shut that down completely because of something that has happened,
Like you're untrusting of men. You shut them down completely
of being that problem solver in your life by I
don't know, being an overmasculine woman who's super independent, who's
had to always do things herself. So it's hard to
sort of give up those reins and become more of

(01:03:09):
a sort of a submissive to your man and let
him have that leadership because we don't really trust him
to have that leadership. We have to get there, but
how can you get there if you're not giving them
the opportunity to show that they can handle that mantle
of your protector.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
I loved all of that. We're having such a good conversation.
I'm so excited for those Is there anything else that
you would like to touch on this convert I feel
like we've hit so many points.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
There's gonna be so many notes made from this episode,
right We're gonna I hope you guys made notes, and
I hope that the guys and gals that watch this
back take notes and try to apply some of the information.
Do your own meseearch. Like we learned that at the
women's retreat. Yeah, one of the gals, Sarah, brought up
me search and I was like, oh snap, I love that.

(01:04:00):
Look at places where you could improve, look at things
you could change in your relationship, places where there are
little cracks and holes, and see if some of this
information could fill in some of those gaps. What is
the scariest thing that could happen? And you have multiple orgasms?
I don't know. You find out that he's not interested
in you anymore. Like that. That sucks. But it's not

(01:04:21):
the end of your life. That's the whole thing. It's
not the end of your life. It is not the
end of your life.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
One man being uninterested in you does not speak for
the whole male population. We are sexy beings, We are
the sexier sex out here.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Definitely speaking for us. We enchanting our men. I love
it so much. Yes, what now? What do you mean?
What now? I don't think beyond this. I did the episode.
That's that's all.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
That was all my notes. I don't have anything else.
I mean specifically for this episode. I don't have anything else.
I do have a couple of other YouTube episodes. I
kind of have in in my drafts trying to figure
out what I want our next or put out ideas
for our next episode.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
He can you do you have chick site anything else
that you would like to touch on? Not? Really, we're
gonna be touching on our men. Why why do you
have to go to work? Yeah? Golf? Every time he leaves,
I'm like, you are betraying me. Yeah, And you can

(01:05:32):
just say you don't love it. Then I think about,
like what my maintenance costs, and I'm like, married, Yeah,
I'll look like a swamp goblin. I do be a
pricey bitch. That's fine, it is. That's fine. They love it.
It's okay. It's okay to be maintenance. Yes, we're not
mentally high maintenance. We're not stressful. There's a difference there is.
Don't be emotionally draining and mentally high maintenance. Be the calm,

(01:05:57):
cool water in your man's stream and their hot pocket.
Do not. Don't be somebody. They're just thinking they're gonna
you know, I have to Bay correct all the time. Girl.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
Those grippy socks vacations do be doing something else, though
it's a nice break from reality.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
I very much want to have like a girly Pops
night where we all wear groopy socks and hang out
and eat pudding cups and stuff and just say all
of our most unhinged Oh I'm down. I'll bring the jello.
That would be so much fun. Get our little jello cups. Yeah,

(01:06:41):
I love Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
If you, if you actually, if that comes to fruition,
I would love to be there. I want to do
that obviously.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Yeah. I don't want to do anything where you're not
as We had such a lovely weekend together at Peach's
very first retreat, and I feel like it was incredibly
successful and I'm so proud of I'm so stinking proud.
I couldn't say it enough how proud I am to
watch my friend spread her wings and fly and everybody

(01:07:12):
else gets to see you the way I see you now,
thank you, and it's dope. I'm like, I seenk it
and now you get to see it. It's fun. I
get that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
That's how I feel about your all in physiques, Like
you are doing the damn thing.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
And it's why I never could have imagined, never could
have imagined the amount of I opened my email this morning.
The amount of people for new client sign ons for
a whole year is insane. People turning their life over
to me for a year is whack a doodle. But
it's so much fun. I love it. My son asked
me yesterday. He's like, Mom, you don't because I was

(01:07:52):
doing computer work. He's like, Mom, why do you have
to have a job, Like you don't need a job. Yeah,
I'm not doing it for the money. Why are you
doing it. It's like, because it's my passion and I
love it, and I think more people deserve to be healthy.
He's like, okay, I guess that's okay. Oh, that's okay.

(01:08:13):
Thanks for permission, Bud. I wish I could take you
to Olympia with me so that I wouldn't be the
only weird person there. But I'm just gonna have my
little i'mna take my little singing bowl. Yeah, pack bag,
so I can just disappear off into the corner. Do
you know what just got here this morning? I got

(01:08:35):
my tuning forks. Shut up.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
Yeah, so I'll be in the corner with you. You'll
do the singing bowl and I'll have my tuning forks
and we'll just I did it for the kids to
more jack.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
But so is my spirit m spirit on dear that
needs to go on a T shirt.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
I love everything about that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
That's funny spiritually jat yes, yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Well I don't have anything else for today. Thank you
for everybody who watched us live recording this. If that's
something that you're interested in, you can check out either
of our patreons, whatever one is the what is the word?

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
I'm looking at your Patreon. I don't have a Patreon.
Oh I thought you did Patreon. Okay, I'm not messing
with that. No, no, that's all. Okay, but you have
your discord still right, I have a discord yet?

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Okay, so Bell does have a discord. We have our patreon.
Check out both of them. We both have different things
going on. So whichever one is more calling to you,
definitely check it out. That will give you access to
us doing live recordings of the Courage and Curves podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
Thank you for recording with me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
I love having conversations with you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
I have so much fun. It's just girlly Pops Talk
and I love it and I can't wait to do more. Lackwise,
I love you, I love you too, and I love
all you. Gonna drink Bailey's out of a shoe. I'm
old Greg, I'm oh Greig. All right, guys, until next time.

(01:10:12):
This has been Bell J. Peach with the Courage and
Curves podcast. We will see you guys later. Bye, guys,