Dating mess

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look up with come all the things up, beat it
on the bottom. Oh oh wow, is you You're my
favorite view? But that's nothing, and we are back.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
We are back, you beautiful creatures.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
So I realized that we didn't say the episode of
the last episode when we're recording. No, we didn't, And
I'm pretty good about that because it helps me mark
things as we go. But it was episode twenty six
of season three. So guys, real real quick, before we
get into it. We're gonna do Friday content. We're gonna
read some articles. We are recording live in front of
our Patreon audience. We just took dogs out on break

(00:47):
in between the episodes, and Ivy likes to herd Bin.
She nips him to make him do what he wants
to do, what she wants him, what she wants him
to do. When we're walking, anytime they get near Peaches,
she goes, uh huh, not near me. So they know
they're not allowed to play in the house and they're
not allowed to playing near the adults. And every time
Ivy starts to get aggressive with Baine and he gets

(01:07):
sick of it, he runs to me like home base.
And just now they were out there playing and he
was on the ground growling at her and shit, and
they were playing and he had had enough and he
ran out of the fucking door, like let me and
dat him over this shit. Yeah, that shit's funny to me.
I would like to point out real quick though, that
the whole you need a hearing test is because of
last night too. Yeah it was a joke, because Okay,

(01:29):
I don't think you actually need a hearing test. I
mean you might. You are getting up there in age
seven hundred and eighty is older seven ninety five or whatever,
So you get up there, yeah, Rose, you know, throw
the fucking heartstone off the back of the Titanic too.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
I definitely did not do my ears justice by listening
to the Backstreet Boys that loud on my CD player.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh I have all of that going on, just not
Backstreet Boys. I get it. The fact that I can
hear it all is insane. All right. So we have
some Friday content. That Friday content is going to be
article for medium dot com For those of you who
don't know, we pay for this website and we read
articles off of it and we give opinions on it
because it's fun, yes, and it makes it so that

(02:09):
we don't have to talk about politics or relationships or
anything else on Fridays that we don't want to discuss. However,
this email is this article. Yes, this article is kind
of relationship based. It's called only after divorce that I
realized that I am not important. I'll let you do

(02:32):
your thing, baby.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
So this is written by a woman by a woman,
So I don't know if this is like from the
perspective of a man, or if.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
She was a lesbian.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Oh yeah, good call.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Boyfriends mentioned at some point, So I don't I don't
know what's going on with this.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh we'll find out.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I didn't catch that.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Good on you you.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
I walked out of the courthouse, expecting my ex wife
to be crying her eyes out. Instead, she was calm
as can be. It was raining. I wanted to take
her home, but she was all proud. I have a ride.
A Porsche pulled up, A man got out holding an
umbrella for her, putting his arms around her waist, and
they got in. My ex wife and I were college classmates.

(03:15):
She was smart, beautiful, and graceful. She was a sight
to behold wherever she went. I was lucky enough to
become her boyfriend. The other guys were jealous. They said,
I must have been blessed by the gods.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Okay, so now I'm confused because this article is written
by a woman. Right, so I'm guessing this is probably
a fictional story. I don't know. We're in it now,
I gotta know what happened.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Okay, we're in it.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
After we got married, she worked sales at a foreign company.
She was really good at her job. After three years,
she was promoted to sales manager and she made a
lot of money. I worked at a real estate company.
The CEO was my dad's friend, so I got a
lot of help. In five years, I became a regional manager.
My salary went up a lot. Three years ago, our

(04:01):
daughter was born. Both our parents were old and couldn't
help us with the baby. We didn't trust babysitters, so
I suggested that she quit her job and stay home
with the baby. She didn't want to, but I kept
talking to her. I told her she could find another job,
but her daughter would only be a child once.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Okay, so this is written by a woman, right, At
least that's the woman named woman photo. Yeah, maybe it's
a man who identifies as a woman. Now, I don't
fucking know, But do you think that using the term
her daughter and having those conversations is a manipulation tactic?

Speaker 2 (04:35):
That's where my mind went to.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
That's where mine went to right away, like that's pure
manipulation because when you were like our daughter, I was like,
oh damn, might even catch that? And then it dawned
on me like, if you're trying to put emphasis on
how important something is to you, calling it yours is
a good way to.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Do that, right, Saying that her daughter would only be
a child once, that really puts emphasis on you as
a mother. Need to make a choice here. Cont she
was busy taking care of our daughter in the house,
so she didn't take care of herself. Did we skip something?

Speaker 4 (05:05):
No?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Did she did?

Speaker 1 (05:06):
I read the rest of that motherly love one?

Speaker 3 (05:10):
So she became a stay at home mom though I
didn't read that sentence. Okay, So she did decide to
be a stay at home mom after the seemingly manipulative
conversation of your daughter is only going to be a
child once. So she was busy taking care of our
daughter in the house, so she didn't take care of herself.
She gained weight and her skin started a sag. One day,

(05:33):
I secretly took a picture of her cooking in the
kitchen and posted it in our college dorm group chat.
I was cocky, this is the school beauty, and she's
cooking for me. The group chat exploded, Is that really her?
I can't even recognize her?

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Dude?

Speaker 3 (05:51):
How can you be so heartless? Beautiful women need to
be nurtured. You haven't treated her well? What a waste?
I was still smug that the girl all they all
wanted was now my maid. It felt good.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
There's no way a dude wrote this.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, yeah, this, this really does feel like it was
written by a woman pretending to have the perspective of
a man.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah yeah, I'm done with that. That That little stupid
shit right there just ruined that for me.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
I get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
They actually have a subject on here called bitchy. This
one is called Is this what Dating men in their
fifties looks like? I'm not quite there yet, guys, but
I'm getting close. Yeah, six five years as I turned
forty five this year, you do almost there. Dude's pretty
good shape for his fifties. I hope that I look

(06:47):
good when I'm in my fifties. I think with my
change of diet, like because I'm losing weight and though
I'm still overweight, I am not exercising and I'm not
I'm not like dieting. I'm just not eating the way
I was eating, and my weight's coming off. I had
a salad yesterday. Yeah, I volunteered myself for a salad yesterdays.

(07:08):
It never happens, No, and I ate it.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Almost all of it was this one written by a man?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Can you scroll up so weekend?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Nope?

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Okay, so this is written by a woman.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
This is what dating men in their fifties looks like. Yeah,
it's not what men dating in their fifties. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
I've been single for over seven years.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
I gave up finding someone long ago because I got
too comfortable being an independent, empowered single woman. Why introduce
unnecessary drama into my life. But recently, a reunion with
an old friend triggered something within me. I decided to
give online dating another shot. I'm not fifty yet, but
since it's not too far off, I figured it might

(07:49):
be best to look for someone older in their fifties.
Here are a few reasons why I thought men in
their fifties would be a better fit.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
One.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
If they haven't had kids by now, they probably won't
want any, which is perfect since I don't want any.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Two.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
If they have kids, they're likely older or young adults.
That works for me because they now have their time
back and we can focus on nurturing our relationships.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Love that Three, they.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Should know what they want, meaning no time wasted playing games.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Okay, so before we move, well, read that final sentence
and then we'll skip. We'll have the conversation.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
With that mindset, I created my profile and got back
into the dating scene.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Okay. We talked about age gap relationships once or twice
in this and every time that conversation comes up, it
always goes to predators. Men want younger women because they
can groom them. Blah blah blah blah blah. That's not
the conversation when it's a kougar going after a younger man.
It's only negative when it's men that are doing it.

(08:48):
So now that we've cleared that up, you guys can
save all that shit in the comments. If you're watching
this and you want to go and be a keyboard
obnoxious asshole. There is something to be said about the
difference and maturity between men and women. Men come into
their prime in their thirties to forties. I would say
late thirties, early forties, we start. Really, that's where life begins.
If you listen to Carl Jung or you've read anything,

(09:09):
Carl Jung believes life starts at forty like that was
a thing for him because we finally fucking understand the world.
And you and I have been saying for a long
time now that at twenty five you're still a child.
You're infantile in what your adulthood is supposed to look like.
We don't have careers. We are still very immature in
our twenties. We want a party, we want a drink,
we want a video game. We want to do all

(09:29):
those things on a regular basis, and that takes priority
over a whole lot of things. We don't want to work.
Most people in their twenties don't have a career yet.
And this isn't me shitting on people that are in
their twenties. This is just the reality of the world.
You guys have a long fucking way to go to
get where somebody in their forty is forties is. I
also believe that I'm not an adult. Yet, like, when

(09:51):
I think we need an adult or I need advice,
I'm going to somebody older than me. Still, like, and
I am somebody that people go to advice for. There
is it's something very different. Different and the way that
women and men conduct themselves, and on a biological level,
I think that our needs are different. I understand that
there are women out there who want to do the

(10:12):
CEO thing and don't want to ever be kids, who
want to be in charge. That's fine. I'm not talking
about you. I'm talking about the average everyday woman who
wants to get married and have kids and do the
stay home thing. Because I think deep down a lot
of women do want that, even if they don't want
to admit it to themselves. And men need to be
able to provide to do that. So if you find
an older man who's got his shit together and has
a career, and you're in your mid twenties to late

(10:33):
twenties or early thirties or whatever, and you, guys, mesh,
I don't think it's a predatory thing. I think that
you have an opportunity to get the things that you
want out of life. And so to see, because like
this email or just said, if you were forty years old, also,
you have previous marriage drama already. Could you imagine how
much at worse, how much worse it would have been
if you had a bad marriage after bad marriage after

(10:54):
bad marriage into your forties and fifties and then we met.
I don't want to have to be responsible for all that.
A whole lot of conversation that goes into all of that,
and I think it needs to be a real conversation,
and it needs to not be from a place of
predatory conversation. Because if you're twenty five, twenty six years
old and you want to date somebody who's forty or
fifty years old, that's your fucking choice. You're an adult.
That age gap shit doesn't matter when you're in your fifties.

(11:16):
If you're fifty and sixty or forty and sixty, it
doesn't matter, right, So, and there is a big difference
between somebody in their forties and their sixties. Your brain
is very different that in that. Yeah, so it's you're
physical at that point too. You know, time kids is
up to all of us. But I like that she's
honest about all of this. Okay, do you have anything
you want to add on that because I mean from
a younger perspective.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
No, okay, the liar.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
My first match was forty four, not quite the fifties
I was aiming for.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
But oh Will.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
We had a few things in common, and he seemed
genuinely interested in me. He asked many questions, checked in daily,
and most importantly lived nearby. If there's one non negotiable
thing for me, it's distance.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
That should be not a vcable for almost everyone. I
had a conversation with last somebody last night who explained
the reason that they're in long distance relationships and why
it's working from and that in his situation it totally
made sense and the let them theory. It may not
have been left them. It may have been what I
was reading before that. One of those books that I
just recently read said that one of the biggest factors

(12:20):
for a relationship, friendship or otherwise is proximity. If you
become friends with your neighbor or the person that lives
across the street, you're gonna be much closer to them
than the person that you've been best friends with for
twenty years that lives on the other side of town.
You're gonna go to dinner. More, they're gonna be over
at your house more, you're gonna play video games together.
You do all those things together because they're right fucking there.
Proximity matters. It's why people are really good friends when

(12:41):
they work together and not when they put working together.
So distance is a non negotiable. I agree. I think
that that's fair for everyone.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
I refuse to day anyone who lives more than fifteen
kilometers away. Life is busy, who has time to drive
over thirty minutes just to see their partner, and they
do live on the opposite side of the same Chances
are they don't want to move to my side, and
I'm not prepared to move either.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Thirty minutes is not a long time drive. It's not
I'll drive thirty minutes to get something to eat. We do.
We've driven over an hour to get food.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I don't mind driving as long as as long as
I'm get stuck in traffic. Well, you put me in
a fucking traffic jam, it's over. I know that, I
can admit it. I'm not I'm not ashamed of it.
I don't do well in traffic jams. It infuriates the
fucking shit out of me. But it's because somebody wasn't
driving properly. If you would have been paying attention and
not being an asshole when you drove, there would be
no traffic jams. So I'm mad at somebody. I just
don't know who it is, right, or a cop, because

(13:36):
fuck you for pulling people over on the interstate. Just
let us go out of thirty minutes? Is that? What's
a reasonable drive time for peaches?

Speaker 2 (13:46):
I mean, I've driven eight hours before.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
So for a regular relationship.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
No, not a regular relationship. For a release about romantic relationship, right.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
So for a romantic relationship, what is it a reasonable
drive time for you to in a relationship with somebody?
I mean, obviously that's not a thing anymore because we're married,
and but what do you think is fair?

Speaker 3 (14:06):
If this is a multiple time a week thing where
we're trying to see each other, I would do forty
five minutes.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
To an hour.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, an hour was where I was at.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
If this is a like we're okay with just spending
the weekends together, like every weekend is a little mini
get away for us, and that's our time, I'd be
willing to drive three or four hours for that.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Right, because you're gone for the whole weekend.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
The reason I put an hour on it is because
I realize that at an hour, if we only have
three hours to see each other, and it's an hour
in each direction, it's not worth it to drive to
spend sixty minutes there because by the time I relax, decompress,
and then leave, like, that's a long ass. It feels
like you're driving an hour for a booty call because
there's not even like real build up and lead time
in like aftercare and play or whatever. So like I

(14:46):
think that's I think an hour is it, because at
that point you would have to have a four hour
window to really be able to spend time with your person.
An hour is as far as I'm willing to go.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
I've seen this play out before. My girlfriend dated a
guy who lived forty five minutes away. She could only
see him on weekends, and he had a six year
old daughter he saw twice a week. She loved being
by the beach, but he wasn't willing to move away
from his child. It was a problem from day one.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
So is the issue the forty five minute drive in
this situation, or the fact that he has kid Twice
a week, right, because that narrows things down a lot
like it. You know, when you and I first started dating,
you had your kids in the middle of the week,
so I only got you a couple of days a
week anyways, So is is that really the issue? Or
is it the forty five minute drive? Forty five minutes
is not a long time, It's not.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
I wasn't about to put myself in that situation. Back
to my first match. After a week of texting, he
asked me out. We met for dinner and he picked
out a seat outside since it was a beautiful evening
in Melbourne.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Great choice.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
When the waitress handed him the menu, he squinted at
the menu, then stretched his arms out like he was
trying to summon the words to focus. I was surprised
that he was already battle with prez biopia at forty four.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
I have to know what that is. Yeah, what a
natural age related condition causing difficulty focusing on nearby objects,
typically starting around the age of forty due to the
lens in the eye losing its flexibility. So if he's
at forty four years old, this is normal. Every eye
doctor that I've ever gone to has told me, as
I started getting up into my forties that I'm going

(16:27):
to need cheaters. Yeah, And I am at that point
now where if it's really small print, I have to
do the zoom thing to figure out where I'm going
to be at, which is why I don't wanet of
my glasses. I would rather let my eyes continue to
work and get that that because it's a muscle. I
want it to do its thing until it fucking can't anymore.
And then if I'm having to do something like that
for a long duration where I actually just can't see it,
then I'm gonna get my cheaters on. And I have

(16:48):
put them on a couple of times over the last
year or so, you know, literally a couple of times. Yeah,
where I'll be like, babe, what does this say? Because
I've done that a couple of times too. But I
don't think that there's anything wrong with that. That's normal,
Like that is a normal function for all all adults.
When you turn forward to your eyes tights, your eyes
stop working the way they did when you were younger.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
I think you pushing your eyes to do what they
can no longer do could also speed up the process
of what they're going through.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Maybe, But if that's the case. I need glasses all
the time, and I'll just wear them all the time.
The problem is is I don't need my glasses all
the time. I need them for specific things. And I'm
not going to walk around with glasses chains and be
a mimic of my wife. I'm just gonna squint or
take a picture of it my phone in zoom or
hand it to you. Okay, I'm a fucking I'll cheat
that way. Yeah, fucking cheater glasses, cheat your fucking cell phone.

(17:35):
Take a picture on zoom, Google that shit palmade with directions? Right,
all right, big ass text, Now I can see bitch,
that's funny. You lose palmade bottle. It's funny.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
So two things that have really stood out to me
from the person writing this article, the first one being
that being in a relationship brings drama to her life. Yes,
you're not choosing the proper people to be in your
life if you view relationships, especially romantic ones, to be
drama filled.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
You don't bring drama to my life.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
I'd hope not. I'd like to think I bring joy
to your life. Yeah, I do. I like to think, right. See,
so I'm right, at least most of the time. I
also like to think that I'm fun and I give
you just enough shit to keep things interesting. But yeah,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
You definitely make life fun.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
You butthole what most of the time? Oh?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Can I not give you a hard time the way
you do me? Was that taken personally?

Speaker 3 (18:34):
No?

Speaker 1 (18:34):
You can't.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Did that hurt your feeling?

Speaker 1 (18:36):
My one? My one feeling is a little stinging right now?

Speaker 3 (18:42):
All right? Continuing, Oh no, The second thing that stood
out to me, dude needs glasses, So what right? I
was surprised to see that his eyes are deteriorating. Dudes
in his forties and you wanted to hold me in
his fifties. Wait till you hear about the kneecaps or
the back, right, My goodness, you're you're.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Not you know, you're not in your like thirties or
forties yet, and I have to hear it about your
knees and back. People are gonna have ailments, like what
are you expecting Superman in this fifty late?

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Come on, my gosh, I'm gonna be twenty nine this
year and I already have one angle out of commission.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Jane wish she used to be heard this and a lot.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
No, No, she is not what she used to be.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
And like now I'm having this like arthritic pain and
the knuckle finger of the ring finger on my right hands.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
I since we're talking about arthritis, I think that the
psiatic nerve pain that I'm having still is actually ostio
arthritis in my lower spine. That sucks because I started
taking fish oil, glucosemine and androitten a B complex that
has methylated my multi vitamin again. And I bought a
joint supplement, my JOCKO that's supposed to be like a blend,
and it's gone way down. Like my inflammation doesn't like

(19:58):
nothing else hurts. It's just my as cheek cramp in
the way that it did in Thailand. But that's not
even all the time.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, so that's good.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Now I have to start stretching more. But I think
that that's what it stems from, which means I may
actually have to go back to the doctor and get
molock scan because that was helping with the inflammation in
the ostio arthritis. But I don't want to be on
prescription meds. I'd rather just take the supplements. Called a
fucking day.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
But continuing, Yeah, as we chatted, he told me about
his spontaneous trip to Bali.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Oh good for him.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
That's on my bucket list. Yeah, Bali has been a
dream for a long time.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah. I want to go to Japan.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, why Japan?

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Because I want to see the landscape there. I want
to see Mount Fuji. I want to visit the Akikihara forest.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Is that the suicide forest?

Speaker 2 (20:47):
It is? I want to shop at a seven eleven
in Japan?

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Okay I do okay.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
After experiencing that one in Thailand, my goodness, I've never
had such a great gas station mochi before.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
I loved it.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
I tried to convince one of the girls on our
Thailand trip that that was made out of mushroom, and
she shut that shit down hard because she knew exactly
what it was.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah, yeah, who was it?

Speaker 1 (21:10):
I think it was Lily, Yeah, I don't know. She
said something about it and I was like, you know,
that's a mushroom, right, and she's like, no, it's fucking
nut sound was like I tried.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
Hey guys, a little quick interruption. If you're enjoying the content,
please leave alike, and also don't forget to comment. We
enjoy interacting with you guys. And hearing your opinions and
it helps the algorithm. It's also free to do, and
if you really want to help make sure the show
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content across your social media's. It costs you nothing and
it greatly helps the show continuing. As we chatted, he

(21:39):
told me about a spontaneous trip to Bali. Yeah, my
kids are all grown up, so I figured I could
just pack my bag and go adult kids tick. Right,
But he's not fucked up by so which one outweighs that?

Speaker 1 (21:50):
All right? Well, I'm willing to bet that the fact
that he could go to Bali kind of erase the
eye thing a little bit because now he's got some money.
Because this is not she to go to Bali. We looked.
That's why we picked Thailand over Bali, because the Bali
trip was way more fucking expensive than Thailand. It was
I even if we had to do Thai Bali on
our own and didn't do a Trova trip thing. Although
Trova has a lot of Bali trips, I really want

(22:12):
to go. There's a whole lot of culture in Bali
that has spoken to the tribal aspect of the things
that I've enjoyed, the diet. Knhunters are a part of Indonesia,
like all of that area, was a big deal to
be growing up a lot of national geographic Yeah, is
why that's the thing for me, since we didn't touch
on that, but that's.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Why continuing Are they working or still in school? I asked,
assuming they must be around twenty or twenty one. Oh, yes, working.
My daughter is thirty and my son is twenty seven.
What it was a question mark and an explanation point,
so very clearly that rocked her sense of reality. And
he was forty four. You must have noticed my shock

(22:52):
because he quickly corrected himself. Okay, hang on, scroll back up.
Oh yeah, that means that he must have had a
kid at fourteen, fourteen years old. I'm actually fifty four,
not forty four, stupid app I don't know how to
change my age on there. He admitted he lied to
attract younger women, not twenty year olds, but you know,

(23:12):
somewhere around early forties.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
I don't believe that that he said that. No, that well,
I don't believe that it was to attract somebody in
his early forties. So here's the reality of it. Dating
game is assesspool. Yes, and we know it. And if
you've resulted to using a dating app to meet people,
you want to match with as many people as you
fucking can, especially as a man. We read that article
from a woman who pretended to be a man on

(23:37):
a dating app. Yeah, it's all transactional. It's people trying
to use you like it's a mess. So if you
have to lie about your age a little bit to
get a leg up to get people to interact with
you based off of whatever, I believe that that's an
actual intelligent move.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
So I'm sure that if it was a thirty year
old that reached out to him and wasn't trying to
get money from him, he would have went on that date.
Twenty five year old probably the same thing. Yeah, but
that's just my opinion continuing. Yep.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
So he admitted that he lied. Oh, I guess you
must be disappointed. I thought if he had been honest,
I probably would have swiped right. Anyway, he looked great
for fifty four, but now I'll swipe left because no
relationships should start with a lie.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Would it be starting with a lie if you were
not in a relationship and he admitted that on your
very first date, right, I'm actually fifty four.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah, that would have been one of those things, like
I would have laughed about it. I also understand what
it's like for men to try to date on the internet.
So that's not something that I would shame him for, right,
lied about your age, not like you're actually sixteen about

(24:51):
to go to jail.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
Women lie about their age constantly.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
Right, So I don't think I would have shut that
down over the fact that he lied about his age.
She also owned it right, right, and that that's a
pretty embarrassing thing to own, Like, Yeah, I lied about
my age for whatever reason, and.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
I would have seen where it had gone from there.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Now, if I caught him in another lie about something
a few weeks later, then I'm done. Clearly, this is
a pattern for you. This wasn't just a one time
an insecurity thing or trying to make yourself stand out
amongst the millions of men trying to get attention on
the internet.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, there's there's definitely a lot. I mean, there's a
full conversation that could be had about all that. I
just I get it. I understand why he would do
it that way, but admitting it on the date, like
I did that to meet younger women. Yeah, like the lot.
When it comes to sales, the hardest part of a
sale is getting somebody in the door. Closing the deal
once they're there is easy. So if you have to

(25:53):
lie on a dating app to get somebody to even
be interested in you, yes, it's wrong, it's shitty. You
shouldn't do it right. But if it's something as simple
as your age, I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
I would have made a very serious joke about as
long as this is the only thing you lie to
me about.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah, I don't know. But that's also the difference between
you and I. A first date in a situation like
this wouldn't be a relationship. Yeah, it would be a
reason for us to sit down and have a conversation
and get to know each other. I'm not looking at granted,
I'll never ever. I would have never been on a
dating app. I've never have, I never will. Even even
if one of us was to die and you got
on a dating app, I would look down on you

(26:30):
with disdain. What are you doing woman? Like You're better
than this? Put that shit away, and I would expect
the same thing. I would rather be alone than have
to go through all of that bullshit, because there's a
whole lot of bullshit that goes on with that. Knowing
that an opportunity to sit down and have a conversation,
to feel somebody out, to see if you even want
to have a second lunch or dinner with them, is
where that first date is. Just because you swipe on

(26:51):
somebody doesn't mean that you're in a relationship. It means
that you're getting to know them. And I think that
that's the way that these things need to look at.
Just because you go on a first date, it's a dinner,
you're getting an each other right, blind dates, I don't
view that as dates. It's not like anything's happening afterwards.
You're not kissing, you're not hugging, like you're sitting down
to have conversations to get to know someone.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Now, with that being said, does that make me a
hypocrite because I constantly say that you should be dating
with intent?

Speaker 2 (27:15):
No, I don't think it does.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
I don't think it does either, But I know somebody's
gonna say that, Yeah, I'm just getting ahead of it.
And the reason I don't think it does is because
if you are dating with intent, you still have to
feel out who people are to find out if you're
compatible with them in order to do that, and that's
the first three or four dates.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Yeah, So I want to clarify that I didn't mean
that they're in a relationship now because they're on a date.
Being an acquaintance with somebody as a form of relationship.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah, I agree with that too. So I agree with that. No,
I actually don't agree with that.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
I think everything in life is a relationship.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yeah, even that, even going to Starbucks and handing over
money to pay for your meal and you just ordered
something there, there is a professional relationship happening right now
between the customer and the person working at the store.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, in that, in that context, I agree. That's why
I'm going back and forth between I agree to, I
don't agree to. So I don't agree. I think that
that's the perspective. I think it's how you choose to
look at the situation.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
But you're right continuing, yep, the narcissist.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Next, I matched with a fifty three year old commodity
investor with my strong interest in personal finance. I was
excited about the match. He had just returned from five
months of travel, sold his property and bought a new
one near the beach. He seemed to be doing quite
well for himself. Well, so was the other guy who
went to Bali right, and a new house near the beach.

(28:41):
Another tick, beach side living is my favorite way to live.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Look to Bali tick got a house by the beach.
Tick right. My love is transactional. Tick. I need a
man with money. Tick, come support my lifestyle tick right.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
This also stands out to me because she just said
earlier in the article, I'm not willing to date somebody
across town, right, because they might not want to move,
and I certainly don't want to move.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Didn't she say she lived near the beach though?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Oh I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Nope, you didn't. She did not. The beach conversation was
about her friend. Oh gotcha, there you go. You are right, woman,
You are right.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
So you're willing to move because now he lives next
to the beach because dollar signe there's money there, all right, Continuing,
although I am not physically attracted to him, I love
talking to intelligent people. At this age, I need to
broaden my data. Cut blah blah.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Dating criteria an aim for intellectual connection, attraction will come.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's not true.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
I agree with that.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
I think physical attraction is important, one of the most
important things when when forming a romantic relationship. It is
not the most important thing. But I do you believe
that once you hit that ten year mark, if you
were never attracted to your person physically at ten years,

(30:07):
stepping out is not going to be a whole big
deal because I was never fully invested anyway.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, that the attraction thing absolutely fucking matters. And I
also agree with the intellectual aspect too. Don't get me wrong,
Like there needs to be a whole lot more than
a physical attraction. But we also know that on a
genetic level, women look for things in their partners like
in a mate. A lizard brain looks for things in
a mate that provides something that you don't possess. So

(30:34):
for you, your lizard brain is I want to protect her,
which is one of the reasons that you were attracted
to me because I have that quality. There are other
things about you about me that your lizard brain was
attracted to before we ever had a conversation. That's normal. Shit.
One of the things for me with my lizard brain
is that you were soft, like you were dainty and feminine,

(30:57):
and like that was one of those things that like damn,
like that is the exact opposite of me. Like that
makes a whole ass existence for me, right, and like
that's in seconds.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
So but just when I thought that this had potential,
the conversation came to a screeching halt. So far, I
have been the only one asking questions. All he did
was answer. There wasn't any real back and forth, no
curiosity from his side.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Do you think that makes somebody a narcissist?

Speaker 2 (31:28):
I don't know. Maybe she explains more.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Okay, I'll wait and I'll hold that thought.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Then maybe she explains more. What comes to my mind
if somebody is not probing, they can be a shy person.
They could have social anxiety, they could feel uncomfortable being
the one to initiate conversation. There's a whole post of
other things that could be leading to them not probing.
Besides being a narcissist.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Some people just don't converse, right we In the Five
Love Languages, dude flat out said that if you that
women who talk are people, they're in a relation. One
person that talks a lot normally finds somebody that doesn't
talk a lot, and they mesh and it works really
well for the first few years because they talk a lot,
they don't talk at all and they get to listen, right,
and that works really well for them because they don't

(32:12):
want to talk and that's all they want to do.
And then later in the relationship they realize there's not
a whole lot going on there because that's not who
this person is, and this person wants conversation versus to
just yap. That's so prevalent that it made it into
a book about love languages.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah, continuing, I dropped plenty of hints. Oh you like Canada,
which part? I'm from Canada too? When did you start investing?
I have been learning a lot about it lately. Are
you a twin? Because I saw his twin brother posting
a photo of them together on the same app.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
So she's asking opening new questions, giving him the opportunity
to speak, expecting him to go what about you? Because
that's what the next line says. I even asked what
and why questions, giving him plenty of opportunity to say
what about you? But nothing. You're asking open ended questions,
giving him the opportunity to answer your questions. This is
the getting to know each other face and you're probing

(33:07):
like a motherfucker and he's answering your questions.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Right.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
I dropped plenty of hints. Men are not mind readers.
Is there anything that you would like to know about me?
Do you have any questions to ask me? I feel
like I've just been interrogating you this whole conversation.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
That's it. That's it.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
Maybe I was expecting too much, so I stopped asking, thinking,
and I'd give him space to show some interest. Two
days past, still silence unmatched.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Maybe he wasn't fucking interested in anything, right.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
Maybe he was also not attracted to you.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Maybe he thought you'd talked too much.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
Right, I was just thinking that. Maybe he thought that
you just talked too much, you hogged the floor.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
But it's not But he's a narcissist. It can't be heard.
That's a problem.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Right, So in one day, she knew he was a narcissist. Yeah, parent,
that's insane to me. Sounds like diagnosing somebody to me.
I wonder how that degree in psychology is doing.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
People are wild. People are wild. The egoistic cheapskate.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Hero are right, people are wild right.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Next up was fifty one year old entrepreneur Great. I
used to run my own business. I was always inspired
by entrepreneurs.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
What there are certain words, There's certain words that you
say in my head that makes you sound bougie as
fuck as entrepreneur of them it is now it is now,
it's croissant.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Another one know.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
That that is I'm better than all of you non
French speaking people.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Do you want to know where that came from?

Speaker 1 (34:48):
I know where it came from. Go tell the rest
of the listeners so they know.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
So I used to say croissant until I went to
France when I was eighteen years old, and I we
guide who was originally from America has lived in France
for years at that point, roasted us really hard and
we had a we so we did classes while we

(35:12):
were over there. So we went to school like like
kids do in France, and their school schedule is like
way superior. They would do three hours in the morning
and then take a two hour brunch lunch break so
they would be able to go home, spend time with family,
all that kind of stuff, and then they would go
back to school for like another three or four hours.
I enjoyed that structure. It really it broke it up

(35:32):
and made a lot easier for me to process thing.
But our tour guide, along with the teacher that we
were having teach us really really they didn't didn't bully us,
but it made me feel bullied stupid okay, because they
were like, it's croissants and I was like, the what
about the R? And they were like not everything is
said like it's said in English, and I was like, damn,

(35:53):
okay word And because it was drilled into me for
like eleven days croissants that that is now just the
way I live by saying it.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
The other word is scenario. I just picture you in
like a big Corilla Deville suit with a long stick
cigarette when you say scenario or like you belong to
hard Hogwarts. You and Hermione are best friends. Yeah, And
now entrepreneur.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Entrepreneur is one of those words that I like, is
that wrong? How How else do you say it? Entrepreneur, entrepreneur, entrepreneur?

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I can't That's the only way I say it.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
That's okay. There's a whole lot of words I can't
read and say at the same time. I have to
look away to get it.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Entre preneur andre entre, My goodness, that's so difficult or fun?
We are fun? We are Do you want to go
get food after this? Do you want to go that
place in Venice?

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Which place in Venice? There's a lot of places in Venice.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
One place we went to at like eleven o'clock next
to all wah wah, and there were drunk people in
there already. You and Sean used to go there all
the time.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Was it a sushi place?

Speaker 3 (37:20):
No?

Speaker 2 (37:20):
I think it was maybe a burger place.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
Oh the yeah, yeah, you're right, that is. That's called
they have the Maddie Bee. That's not the name of
the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
It's called not Golden Nugget, but that's what I want
to call it.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
It doesn't matter because nobody's near us to even know
what I was talking about. But yeah, I mean we
got to do it after dark tonight. We can absolutely
go up there and get some food.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Word all right, continuing, we hadn't talked much online because
we were both old school. Better to meet in person
than engage in endless texting.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Agreed.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
He suggested a fusion Chinese restaurant near the beach. I
know the chef, Well, they do the best Chinese food.
Check out the menu and see what you'd like. Intriguing,
I loved good food, especially good Chinese.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Let's do this. The menu startled me. A simple fried
rice costs thirty five dollars.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Okay, this, this one was called the egotistical cheap skate
a milliona bet that he was trying to make her
pay for her own meal.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Maybe, okay, that's a good call.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I also don't think that a simple fried rice will
cost thirty five dollars. There's usually things added into the
food for that cost to go up. And you also
have to think about you know, high end restaurants have ambiance,
and servers tend to be a little bit more attentive.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
There we go, attentive.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
I keep wanting to call that place what a burger? No,
and that's not what a burger is good. They're gonna
fucking drive me nuts.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
It's gonna pull up so many places brew Oh my gosh,
it was the first one, So this better be changing
fried rice. I couldn't help, but wonder is he going
to pay? It's our first date, after all. As he
walked through the door, disappointment hit me.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Instantly.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
He is not five to ten, as his profile suggested,
more like five to seven at best. Another liar. Okay,
so I'm gonna pause there. I have done the online
dating thing, not for very long. I lie on government forms.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
How about that. No, you don't, that's illegal.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
When I was at my highest weight, I was not
three hundred and forty pounds.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
I was too eighty.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Yeah, I get that. I lie on mine too, because
I'm not actually five to ten. But that's what my
ID says. I think I'm closer to six foot than
I am five ten. I agree with that, but I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
I'm about five nine, and you definitely have some height
on me. I like that I can look up at you. Yeah,
that does it for my soul. It makes me feel tiny.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
That's not what makes me feel tiny.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
It's a lot of.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
That's one of the things that makes me feel tiny,
you know. Being five nine and one hundred and eighty pounds,
I'm not exactly petite. So I like feeling small, and
everything about our marriage helps me feel that way.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
The first time I put you over my shoulder and walked,
you lost your shit.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
You were the first man to do that. I am
a I'm a large woman. I'm an Amazonian. I have
never been picked up like I've had dudes scoot me
up underneath my butt and I was off the ground
for like two inches, like there there was a whole
child between me and the earth.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
That was actually what I said.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Your your arms were hanging and then he grabbed my
waist when I started walking, but your legs were still kicking.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
I didn't know what to do with myself. My body
was panicing.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
That's funny.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
I love you.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
I love you too. Our shit's fun. We have a
fun fucking life, dude, I love it.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Yeah, So another liar.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
I wanted to pause there because I said what I
said about lying about my weight on everything. But that's
not wrong, right, because it's about a woman's weight, not
a man's height.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Right.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
Also, why can't you see this as an insecurity thing
versus a malicious lie to pull the wool over your eyes.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Well, so that's very fair, but this also speaks to
the same thing. It's really fucking hard for dudes to
get matched on these dating apps. Right. What we do
for a living has changed the way that we conduct
ourselves in day to day life.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yes, it does.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's actually changed the way that I view situations, and
I'm always trying to find the devil's advocate of things,
especially when something happens between you and I. I may
not be able to do it right then in there,
excuse me right then and there, but I do it
because after the fact I can. It helps me go, Okay, well,
maybe she was feeling this way and that's why she
said what she said, And then we can have conversations

(41:55):
about it, because before that was never a thing. Because
I fucking know you know what I mean. I realize
I don't know shit. Like everybody's got their own perspectives.
This has helped us a lot.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Yeah, I think this writer of the article is part
of the problem. I agree, all right. Continuing, When it
was time to order, he took charge. Can I suggest
a few dishes? I know what's best?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Why not?

Speaker 3 (42:21):
He went on to order four or five dishes, probably
too much, but he insisted I had to try them,
so he ordered a bottle of wine. He also ordered
a bottle of wine. I wasn't planning to drink that
early in the day, but hey, Serena.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
It's her name. The name of the prison article, go
with the flow.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Then he launched into why he was on the dating app.
I have three kids, divorced about a year ago because
my ex wife suddenly decided to become a lesbian. I
did not see this coming. I wasn't sure how to react,
but he kept going, yeah with my best mate's wife.
Crazy huh. I took a sip of water and embraced
myself for what was next. I don't know why, but

(43:05):
I seem to attract crazy women. My last ex was
a total psycho. She threatened to kill herself if I
broke up with her. So I would pause there before
any other conversation went on, and say, is there anything
about you that you can tell me? So the cheap
skate aspect, like, we're not even at the point where
the man's a cheap skate. Just the way that he's
presenting himself on this date is a relationship red flag

(43:28):
to me.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
I don't want to talk about other people's lives.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
I don't want to talk about how your ex wife
ran off with your best mate's wife and now they're together.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
What are you doing with your life right now? And
where do you want to be right What.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Does that go to do with anything, right, So that's
where the egotistical part came in. So at least she's
right in that aspect. He is very much about protecting
his identity and who he is and is blaming everyone
else for what's going on. That is absolutely his ego,
So she nailed that part. So the only thing that's
been right so far in my opinion, in this whole thing, is.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
That what egotistical is.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Yeah, when you're egol preserving all about your ego, you are,
you are all about you. It's it's a very extreme.
I mean, i'll google the exact definition, but you're all
about self, excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself, self centered, okay,
which could also be called a narcissist.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Right.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
I just don't see how him talking about other people
makes him egotistical.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Well, the last part of it with the my ex
said that if I ever left or she'd kill herself.
Ha ha ha. I attract psychos, me me me, me, me, gotcha?

Speaker 3 (44:28):
Okay, all right, continuing, Wait, X your ex wife, no,
the one after my ex wife. I had to keep
dating her because I didn't want her to hurt herself.
One night, she even stalked me while I was out
with my mates. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had
to cut her loose. She was obsessed with me. I
almost choked on my water. Obsessed with you. Well, that's

(44:51):
what stalking is. Obsession.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Yeah. The problem was that she wasn't feeling that connection,
even though the other chick might have been. Because if
she wasn't feeling that connection, she thought this was a bullshit, right.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
She can't imagine that anybody else would.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Would you say that's egotistical? I would say that's it's crazy. Wow, wow,
clear eyes.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Oh my gosh. We're like the living version of Zirtech.
Clareton d Did you think of a dictu?

Speaker 1 (45:23):
I did?

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Moving on, Okay, what I love you?

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Is it because I knew that you you do it?

Speaker 1 (45:35):
You're like, there's a dic joke coming. I know it,
twelve year old, forty four year old body, I love you.
See now you know why I said it.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
You make my soul happy?

Speaker 1 (45:46):
All right?

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Continuing on the rest of his story was a blur
because I zoned out. The only thing running through my
head was how he would describe me as another crazy
woman if we broke up. I stayed for the meal
out of respect, but cut it short. Sorry, I have
errands to run. We asked for the bill one hundred
and eighty seven dollars. He pulled some cash from his

(46:09):
wallet and said, I only have eighty Is that okay?

Speaker 1 (46:11):
So he was like twenty bucks short of his half?

Speaker 3 (46:14):
I okay, So I want to pause there. Yes, twenty
bucks short of his half. But also, if you guys
are splitting the check, that needs to be something that's
discussed prior to the date. Why Because if I am
a woman who believes that the man should pay for
the dates, and I'm broke, right and I'm I am

(46:36):
working on healing myself, and I definitely bring something to
the table besides my vagina. And then we get to
the table and it's a two hundred dollars charge and
they're like, all right, you got your half. No, I
don't have my half. If I need to save money
for a date, if I need one hundred dollars plus
tip to go on a dinner date for forty five minutes,

(46:57):
I need time to save for that. Right, you can't
blindside me with paying for my half.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
So before we go any further, I agree that men
should pay for the first date. I believe if you invite,
you should pay period, doesn't matter if it's your best friend,
your mom, or your woman. The other aspect of that, though.
The other aspect of that, though, is that the expectation
of men paying has become a problem in the dating pool.
Women say I don't want a man to pay for

(47:23):
me because then there's expectations of play afterwards. Right, That's
an argument we've seen in the comments. Could be a
thing We've seen men say, well, why should I have
to pay for her food? I'm getting to know her.
If I have to pay for her time, that's prostitution.
And by me buying her meal, that's exactly what I'm doing.

(47:43):
I'm paying for her food. I do believe that the
expectation in dating now is a fifty to fifty split
of the meals. I think that's become the norm. I
think the way around that is by saying you want
to go get dinner and the other person that's being
invited saying I would love to, but I don't have
the funds for that right now, Because then the person
that was inviting has the opportunity to volunteer to pay

(48:05):
for the dinner. Yeah, unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
I also think that if I was on a dating
app getting to know somebody as a man, knowing that
women will message men talking about how they can't pay
their bills and try to get money from men on
the dating apps the way they do, I would make
it very clear that I would like to if we're
going on a date, you're paying for your half of things.
I don't know you, and I'm not going to just
pay for your meal so that I can have an

(48:34):
hour of your time. I would like to get to
know you and have a conversation as a friend, and
if we become more than that, great and the future,
maybe I'll pay for your meals, But right now I'm
not paying for shit.

Speaker 4 (48:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Yeah, it's different if you meet somebody and get to
know them a little bit and you've established some sort
of a connection versus the sending a text message or
swiping on a dating app and having a messenger conversation.
I truly believe that there is something very different about
a physical, in person connection.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Okay, so Jenna in the chat just said I bring
enough to cover my half, because if I decide this
isn't for me. I'm not making him pay for my half.
I need to ensure I can cover the expense of
me leaving early should it happen. That's smart, I agree
with that, But there was also not a commitment of
we're splitting the bill on this right. If she didn't

(49:20):
have the money to go to this restaurant, she should
have said, no, we need to eat somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
I agree with that too. Seeing that that fried rice
is thirty five bucks, she should have been like, no,
I want somewhere cheaper, to Donalds.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
I had something else that I wanted to say, but
it's gone. I can't remember what I was going to say,
but I'm going to add on to what Jenna just said.
I am always going to have money to be able
to pay for myself. I'm not going to be that
woman who's caught at a restaurant you have one hundred
and fifty bucks to pay for this.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
No, I'm broke. I don't want to be broke.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
And if he's willing to be the gentleman and pay
for the meal and be like, you want to go
on a second date? I would accept that. Yeah, I
mean not if he's a shitty person. But I think
a man offering to pay for a meal on the
first date shows that he's a provider.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
I agree, I absolutely agree. I just know that men
are taking advantage of food. Footy calls are a thing.
I also don't think that you should be going to
major restaurants. Two hundred dollars dinner on a first date
shouldn't be a thing. I don't care if you're a millionaire.
It shouldn't be a thing. They don't need to know
about your finances. I am a huge fan of like
coffee dates, fucking going to the beach or a park,

(50:24):
you know, a garden, spending a few hours actually having
conversations where you're not being interrupted. Yeah, there's in Naples.
The Botanical Garden has a restaurant there. You could have
a garden date where you have a meal in the restaurant,
walk around the garden a second time, and then leave.
You got a whole whole ass afternoon together. You're in public,
there is safety there, you're not alone. But I think

(50:45):
that that matters now that there's also the argument to
be made about how you get to see somebody with
servers and the way that they conduct themselves. Because this
is a lot about their character. So, but we've done
the dating thing, like, there's just a lot that goes
into that. I think that needs to be restated because
not everybody's heard those episodes. There's a great time to go.
Tell you to go watch the dating playlist on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
Yeah, this would also be a conversation if he ordered
everything everything that's on this table, you suggested, So.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Who has a good point too?

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Yeah, I'm not going to cover the other half of
this bill. You only have eighty dollars? Why do you
only have eighty dollars?

Speaker 1 (51:18):
If you knew, yeah, he's also an entrepreneur, right, I'd
have been like, you only got eight dollars cash. That's cool.
I hope you use your debit card and you order
all this shit, not me.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
You should let your your homie, no who owns the restaurant?
Right that you have an iou?

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Yeah, hey, budd, hey you I only got eighty dollars.
Did I wash dishes? Yep?

Speaker 2 (51:36):
All right?

Speaker 3 (51:38):
Continuing, I was speechless, What the fuck? I just wanted
to get out of there, so I grabbed the bill
and paid the rest. He offered to walk me to
my car, which at this point made no difference. It does,
It does make a difference. No, I don't want you
to walk me to my car.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
And if there's a follow up question of why I
didn't partic enjoy this date, you talked about everyone but you,
and then when you did comment on you, you were talking
about how other women are obsessed with you, and then
you only had eighty dollars. You didn't even pay half
of the meal. If I'm down to do fifty to

(52:17):
fifty on a date, but you couldn't even pay your
fifty percent of this.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Right again, I want to clarify everybody that I do
believe that a band should pay on the first date.
Everything that I was laying out was because of the
way the dating thing is now. I truly believe that
if you can't afford to buy a meal for the
person that you're taking out on a date, you shouldn't
be dating. Yeah, and that's that's an extreme. People are like, oh,
you should still be able to fall in love even
though you're broke, Well, what are you bringing to the table.

(52:43):
As a man, It is your responsibility to protect, provide,
and lead, and if you can't, if you don't have
the money to feed them. You can't protect your provide,
you can't provide, you can't lead. You're showing that you
don't have the ability to even take care of yourself.
So how are you going to lead a household?

Speaker 4 (53:02):
Right?

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Like, there's a whole lot that goes into that, And
this is totally a me thing. Yeah, And I go
into deep depth on that on the Gentleman episodes also
on YouTube. But I do believe that a man should
pay for that meal. I would never invite a woman
to dinner if I wasn't able to cover the bill.
I'm not inviting anyone to dinner if I can't cover
the bill. First time we went to dinner with Jeff
and Angie as like, you know, the dual couple thing.

(53:23):
That motherfucker got up and handed his card to the
server when he went to the bathroom to make sure
that he could pay for the bill. Because we argue
over that shit. Yeah, and you got to watch us
bicker at each other at the table over it, like
that's just the way that's supposed to be. Was that
ever a thing for you? Did you ever witness that
between men before? And it says a lot because Jeff

(53:43):
and I live a very similar life with the way
that we take care of our family, right, So that
speaks to the quality of the man. Yeah, the same
thing with Evan and Jackie.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
I have been with men who would argue paying the
lower price point out of everything in the group. If
we ever did anything with like a double date or whatever,
it was always I hope you got your shit covered, bro,
because I only got me covered.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Zach says, I have so much frustration with Chris over
restaurant bills. Jay said, Okay, here you go. Here's the
perfect example is Jay said that when I that's why
I invited you guys to dinner, however long in advance,
so I can return the favor because we picked up
the tab at the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
Bro, you you guys brought us bomb ass subs in
the desert.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
Yeah, they did.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
I think that's a that's a pretty nice payback.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
I think that calls us even I do. Yeah. So, okay,
there's a whole ass conversation to be had in that too, though,
right because dinner at that that that hotel was five
hundred bucks for the four of us. It was not
good and it was the worst fucking everything. Yeah, I
don't know fuck up macaroni and cheese.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
I don't know how you take the taste out of
mashed potatoes.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Right, But them coming out to the desert, pregaming food,
getting the cool already and doing all of this Christmas, Yeah,
means so much more than the fucking dinner that we
had at the restaurant. Like, but that's the memories attached
to it. Having the tequila shots and catching a buzz
is what's most memorable to me. Yeah, at the dinner
that we had, that was fun.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Yep, it's been a hot minute since I had tequila,
and that night showed it.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
My goodness, I actually caught a buzz from that too,
not like you did.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Oh gosh, that one shot knocked me on my butt.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yeah, I stood up out.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
Of that chair and I was like, oh, Captain Jack
Sparrow gotta take a Sega sea legs. Yeah, it's funny.
Who started moving the restaurant?

Speaker 1 (55:39):
Stop the world? I want to get off. Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
That's only a thing when I drink like once, I'm
I don't even have to be drunk.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
When I'm buzzed.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
I can feel the earth rotating like a fun house
spinning tunnel.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
I feel the earth moved under my.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Feet, all right, continuing, I just wanted to get out there.
There was no she said. He offered to want me
a car, which at this point made no difference. Strongly
disagree on that. Then, with full confidence, he asked, when
can I see you again? I turned to him and
smiled never. I got into my car, drove away, and

(56:19):
felt awful about not spending that one hundred plus dollars
wisely patiently waiting. The world is changing, but people haven't,
at least not in the dating world. I thought dating
over fifty men. I thought that dating over fifty would
mean meeting more mature, decent men. I was wrong. Many
men prefer to stay boys, no matter their age. I

(56:40):
thought this was going to be an uplifting article.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
I thought it would be too Apparently, she's just a
bitter ass woman. What she wants to somebody to pay
for everything, have good conversation and treat her like royalty
even though she hasn't earned that yet.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Right, and not be insecure.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
You think that just because they're over fifty means that
they're going to be mature. It also means that they've
got a lot of life life experience, and the reality
is is people that have that life experience are able
to read a room fairly quickly. And if you're not it,
you're not fucking it. And your dates have proven that.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
At first these experiences put me off, and now I
find them quite entertaining. Human beings are an interesting species.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
You know.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
I feel the exact same way reading an article.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
Right, we actually said that people are a wild Yeah,
that's funny.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Maybe I needed to see the worst to set more
realistic expectations. Or maybe my future partner isn't on a
dating app. He's probably just wandering around a hardware store
waiting to cross paths with me.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
I don't think he's waiting for you.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
I think he's living life. And if you happen to
come into his life, dope.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Yeah, that.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Nobody's just sitting around waiting for you to come and
make their life better. And if that person is waiting
for somebody to come and rescue them or to be
the rescuer and to be the knight in shining armor
and they're not doing anything with their life, that's a
red flag to me.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Yeah, I think that this is a very real scenario
or a very real thing. When people are like that
person just probably walking around the you know, looking for whatever.
I don't think that people are looking for their match.
I think that when people are finally okay with being
alone and have accepted that and they're healing and they're

(58:19):
doing the thing life will, the universe is going to
put the right person in their path. I had. I
don't know how much of this I want to get into,
but I had a very very loud conversation with God
the other day in the car because I've been struggling
with my faith. During that conversation, I realized that I
did try to do the podcast thing a couple of times,

(58:40):
like there was this doing what we're doing right now
is something I've always wanted to do. The timing wasn't
right because had I gone through all the things that
I had went through since I tried that podcast, it
would have blew my life up. So like, timing is everything,
and sometimes it's divine timing, sometimes it's the universe, sometimes
it's not. But I do believe in divine timing, and

(59:01):
like you coming into my life when you did, all
of the things that happened happened in divine timing, because
otherwise it wouldn't have worked out the way that it did.
So your person's not fucking waiting on you. They're living
their life trying to heal to become the best version
of themselves, and she clearly needs to do the same thing. Like, yes,
I agree, Zach's became a member for twenty five months

(59:24):
level early access message. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl
go to the bathroom because the P is silent?

Speaker 2 (59:29):
That's funny.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
My kids watch a show called Dinah Ranch I think
it is. I haven't watched it in a while and.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
It used to be a staple.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
But there is a baby pterodactyl on the show named Teddy.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
He's got a P in front of it.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
There's a P in front of his name. And I
had no idea until I turned on the subtitles.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
So that's a joke for deaf kids and old people
and spicy brain people, right.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
I turned on the subtitles and I saw Peddi and
I lost my damn mom, Like, so he is silent,
So them just saying Teddy, you would never know that
it was a pterodactyl joke.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
The greatest thing ever.

Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
We're gonna wrap up, guys, We will post later about
the live stream for tonight for the people who are
in our ultimate chat and remember you are the author
of your own life, so grab a pen and we
will see you on the next one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Bye, guys,