Religious differences S3 Ep24

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look out with con all the things with it on
the bottom. Oh oh wowd is you You're my favorite
views But there's nothing.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
And we are back.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome back, you, beautiful Creatures.

Speaker 4 (00:26):
Season three, episode twenty four. I think of the to
Be Better podcast. I think we take a moment to
just appreciate how great my wife looks over there. It
looks like she's look run camera. Looks like she's going
to Woodstock, be playing like Jefferson Airplane or the Doors
or something.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
I love it, love it, love it, love it, love it.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Got some turquoise going on, Yeah, yeah, my favorite got
some amethyst in here doing the thing.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
I feel like we should have bought a couple of
those little cages just to be safe.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be in Sarasota tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
Yeah, so we don't really have a whole lot going
on right now. We are going to be recording a
lot today.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah. I also have a woman's call today.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Speaking of which should probably plug that.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Oh in case you guys didn't know, Oh, we're not
just live for Patreon right now, son of a bitch.
Everyone here now it should just be Patreon. Yep, right,
I have I have spots in my women's group, both
of them, my Top Tier Women's group and my Women's
Thrive group. So if that is something that you were

(01:36):
thinking about doing, I believe I have two spots available
in my Top Tier Women's group and I have about
fifteen spots available in my Women's Thrive group. They both
get a bunch of things. Top Tier Women's group gets
a lot more than the Women's Thrive group. Both group
gets mini challenges, phone calls, monthly private discord chats, homework challenges, prescriptions,

(02:00):
the whole nine yards, and from the feedback that I'm getting,
everybody's very much enjoying the group. And nine times out
of ten, if a woman has to leave, it's due
to finances, not because they're not getting something out of it.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yeah, and I believe that to be true because a
lot of the times when people leave they come back
they do, so they do. I also have men's men's
slots available, but my men's group is not quite as involved.
You guys do a lot more in terms of women
are emotional creatures and men are not, So there's a
lot more support that goes into your group than that
goes into mind. But yes, we got the same ten

(02:37):
or fifteen dudes have been in my group since it start,
so I love that they're obviously getting value.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah. One of the biggest perks for my top tier
women's group, in my mind is the private DM access
to me. Can problem solve your life, we can celebrate
wins together. If you need a word, vomit, or need
some grounding, I'm available. I am not available every second
of every day, so you might not get a response

(03:01):
immediately if it is I'm having a panic attack, emergency
panic attack, big letters, because I'll see that on my
preview on my phone. Otherwise, when I'm able to give
you my undivided attention, because you deserve my undivided attention,
you will receive it.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
Definitely important to remember that we have we do have lives,
like not live streams, but like we have our own
individual lives that we live and sometimes we get very busy,
but we do the best we can to make sure
that we can stay on top of all that shit.
I don't I really don't have anything to talk about.
The only new thing going on in life right now
that Patreon doesn't know about is that the van is
getting worked on next week. I message Charles this morning

(03:40):
to ask him if he's going to be able to
install a power outlet on the inside of the van
for that battery bank thing, that three thousand wat battery
bank thing that I have, so that we can have
AC inside the van running without being plugged in outside.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
That'll be dope. So I don't have an ugly nail anymore.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
That's pretty cool.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
She's back. It's taken two months, but I feel pretty.
I did like a jade green color. Look at how gorgeous.
Kind of muted because he put it on top of pink.
But I'm vibing with it. I'm I am somebody who
used to just get black on my nails. So I'm
venturing away from like the super soft feminine colors and

(04:17):
I'm trying earthy tones. Now I might do like a
I don't know, like a dirt red like an Arizona.
Next we'll see somebody.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Asks if the van has a power in border already,
and it I have an AC that's in the van already,
like the one that's in the ceiling that's ran to
a breaker box. It's got a plug on the outside
that plugs into a two twenty that goes to a
power outlet. So that if we're at like an RV park,
we can plug.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
In and use that.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
But it doesn't have one on the inside of the van,
and the blue eddy AC three thousand that I have
or three hundred whatever it is, does have one of
those plugs. I'm just not going to put a two
thousand dollars battery bank on the outside of the van
while we're sleeping in a Walmart parking lot. You know,
I can just set it on the inside and plug
it in and turn the braker on, and if I
can do that, that'll be better. So that's the goal.

(05:03):
We're getting a bed installed this week or next week.
We're getting cabinets installed next week, and then we have
to decide whether or not we're going to actually put
a shower in there.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
But I don't think I want to do that.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
I think that I'd rather just go to a gym
if I need a shower, or like, you know, wipe
myself down with dude wipes if I have to.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
I don't. I don't want to cut into the van
to that extent.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I would rather get like a hang up thing. Yeah,
I mean, I'm even cool with a bucket with the
hill holes drilled into the bottom with a stopper.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
Well, we have that room spray tank, but I putting
that on top of the van, I'd have to get
a roof rack and a ladder be able to fill
it and do all that shit, which is not a
big deal. It's just more money and I didn't want
to spend a lot. I've been doing a little at
a time because the van. Shit's expensive. It is so
question about the private mins here? How long do the
monthly live group calls usually go for? It goes until

(05:52):
we're done. We've had them last as long as two hours.
The problem is is we'll get in there and I'll go, Okay, guys,
here's what we're doing for the month. Here's the book
that we're reading. Well, that'll take ten minutes to just
explain what we're doing. I'll be like any questions and
nobody will say shit, like cool, they all got it,
and be like great, so what do we got to
problem solved? And then it'll be silence, yeah, and like
anybody because if not, I'm getting off the call. Guys,
like I'm not going to sit here and listen to

(06:13):
you breathe, and then you know somebody will chime in
and we'll talk for a little bit and then when
they're done, like anybody else. And sometimes it's a fifteen
minute call, sometimes it's a fifty five minute call, and
sometimes it's two hours. Sometimes the conversation goes from problem
solving to hunting or debauchery. Debauchery, and I'm leaving the
call at that point because you guys can stay in
here and we'll shit all you want, but if it's

(06:34):
not helping you, I have shit to.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Do, right Yep, got a lot going on in life.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
You want to jump into some emails. I have conversations
for the next episode.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
I saw somebody ask about my back. My back is healing.
She's tender. I am pretty proud of myself for being
able to sit for five hours the other day. Her
face is done. We are into the hair. We're going
to do that little ornate hair piece that's going to
cover up that Celtic not on my back.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah it's almost covered.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, she's she's sensitive.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Said, peaches is so green today? Yes, because you have
a green light on it.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
I do. I have my green light on me. I'm
really falling into light work and chakras and vibrations and
breathing techniques and green represents the heart chakra, and I
feel like that's what I'm here to be.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
You're going to be more one than anyone.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, I'm going to be the Yeah. Oh I think I.
I started astro projecting the other night. That was crazy,
just throwing that out there. We can move on if
you like. Why are you smarking?

Speaker 4 (07:41):
I just think it's funny that this just has gone
and gone and gone and gone, but it's escalated. It's
just like cartwheeled through debauchery. And it went from feeling
vibrations to being in tune with frequencies, to numerology to
this to this, this this, Now you're having out of
body experiences.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
It was crazy. It was absolutely insane. I was lying
in bed. I know I had fallen asleep, and I
woke up and I felt my whole body vibrating like
there were thousands of bees inside of me.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
That was me snoring, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
And I went to go and touch you because I
was like, I don't like the way I'm feeling right now.
And I couldn't move my body and I opened my
eyes and I could see the room, but it had
like a burgundy film over it. It was crazy, absolutely wild.
It happens if it happened a few times that night,
and then I finally like it felt like my body

(08:34):
hit the bed. Like you know how you have dreams
like falling off a cliff or something those Yeah, I
know what that is. Your body jump them.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
It's a Gogi tendon reflex. Yeah, your body thinks like
when you're falling into that sleeping phase. It's a stretch
reflex to keep muscles from stretching too far and injuring itself.
So it jerks the body back in yep.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Crazy.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Why when you fall asleep with your head your head jerks. Yeah,
it's it's to protect your body from over stretching a
muscle Gogi.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Ten in refarch wich.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
My ankle would do that.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, we have. We're doing another Ayahuascar retreat in April.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Three weeks from tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh it is April. Today is April second. Yeah, wow,
this will go live in June.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
You guys are so far behind. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
The people that are not part of our patreon is
way far behind.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
If you don't want to be a nube, check out
our patreon.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
It's a great time to insert that clip into our thing.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Good thing we recorded those all right, guys, As you know,
there was a TikTok scare. We lost the app for
a whole twelve hours and we have no idea what
the future of the app looks like, and with that,
we are very concerned about the loss of our following.
We have a massed almost three million followers across that
platform with all four of our accounts, and we are
trying to push people to other social media platforms so
that in the event that anything happens on one app,

(09:49):
we have multiple other backup plans. If you want to
make sure that you're not missing any content, we highly
recommend that you check out our Patreon.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
On Patreon, we have multiple tiers to choose from. Starting
at ten dollars, you begin to receive exclusive content. At
fifteen dollars a month, you get access to our private
discord server where we've enmassed in an absolutely amazing community
of supportive people. And beyond that we have other tiers
to check out, along with my two private women's group
if that's something you may be interested.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
In, Guys.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
On our fifteen dollars and higher tier, you have access
to live recordings. We record all of our content three
four sometimes five times a week, live in front of
our Patreon audience where they are able to chat with
us while we are recording.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
They can to see all the flirting and.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
The outtakes, the hot topic conversations that never actually make
it on the podcast, and it's really worth that aspect
in itself. We have it after Dark, where we sit
down usually once a week and have a glass of
bourbon or and Impeach's case of glass of wine and
a bowl of cheese and we have a whole lot
of fun conversations karaoke in the discord we finish the lyrics.

(10:49):
We literally just hang out and you guys get to
hang out with us. There is a host of other perks,
including zoom calls that are coming for the Ultimate Tier,
so that if you guys are having problems, you can
talk to us. It also gives you the heads up
on private meet and greets, because when we travel we
try to meet up with people on our discord on
a regular basis. There's a whole slew of other perks
that come through Patreon. I highly recommend that you check
it out.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
The best way to support what we are doing is
to share the content. The second best way is to
check out our Patreon. Thank you guys for being here.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
All right, let's jump into some emails.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Oki doki, Sorry, guys, I'm gonna be checking my phone
every now and again. One of the children have a
doctor's appointment today. Oh, religious referee needed. All right, I
feel like I should have a whistle. I can't do that, babe.
No come and clutch, no dot yeah? Okay, all right,

(11:44):
jumping into it before I delve into my failings. I need.
I feel the need to express my admiration for you
and your partner's connection. Oh, I wonder who you're talking to.
Thank you. Because of the work that you've put into
your relationship. I am able to out a healthy relationship
after years of abuse. I am able to place proper
boundaries and show do compromise. I am also most importantly

(12:09):
able to model these important qualities for our kids. I
use your videos to give me ideas when it hurts
to think anymore. Oh, I get that. I'm glad that
we can do some thinking for you. That must be
a very nice reprieve. I am also most importantly able
to model these important qualities. Give your ideas. They help
me to be the best version of myself possible, which

(12:30):
helps me curate home worth living in what a sentence
living well? It has asterisk.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
Right, it's still emphasis on the word yeah. It's not
existing in right right like they're thriving in their home.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
I want to be good at my job and the
advice that you two offer is invaluable, to say the least.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for doing
the hard part on those days. Now to the heartbreak.
I have been a Pagan for more than eight years now.
My partner has always been a Christian. I've been with
my fiance and engage for nearly six years.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Why is that, my goodness, why is there a six
year engagement? You're a placeholder. I hate to say that.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yeah, that's how I view that, though there's.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
No reason in six years not to get married. If
you've taken the step to do an engagement. Six years
is bullshite. If you're waiting for money or the right time,
there's not going to be a right time. There's no
such thing. The right time is whenever you can make
the time to do the shit, and you can go
and get married at the courthouse and then do a
big ceremony or a huge fucking dinner with your friends,
or however, you got to make it work financially. If

(13:34):
you're waiting for the big dream wedding, you're just not
going to get married.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
I just that's bullshit.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
It was you, Me and Richard, good old Richard. Yeah.
I will never forget that man's name. You guys won't
even have to get it government approved. You guys can
stand in your backyard and neneath your favorite tree and
exchange vowels. Yeah. And in that six years together, we've
had two beautiful children. Are different. Using religious beliefs have

(14:01):
never been an issue, but we have had numerous fun
conversations about our differences. He would ask questions about my practice,
and he was originally respectful. We've even laid down the
laws before we had children, stating that until the children
can choose for themselves, that we would foster our individual
beliefs without forcing them, I e. Not forcing church attendants
or ritual attendants.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
I want to get into. I believe that organized religion
is just programming.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
I agree with that.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
When Troy did an episode of the Symphony of Deconstruction,
shout out to one of my best friends, Troy, I
absolutely love him and his wife Tiffany. He has his
own podcasts and so far his podcast has been purely
about plant medicine and psychedelics, mainly ayahuasca. But he had
a guest on. We'll be a guest on there eventually,
but he had a guest on there and he said,
I'm going to ask you. I'm going to say five

(14:49):
words and I want you to tell me the first
thing that comes to mind, and one of them was religion.
And Chick was like, I want to say this because
it's the first thing, but it's going to piss off
a lot of people. And I'm not trying to be disrespectful,
but organized religion is pro and like it was like
a slap to the face because we've been very clear
that though we are followers of Christ, we're not Christians
because we don't follow the religious dogma that makes it

(15:10):
a religion. And when I heard that, it was it
was very prevalent in the moment at the time, because
I've been struggling with my faith hard for about five
months now and we've talked about this at length. I
just there's a lot that I'm having issues with and
it started because of a conversation that I had with
somebody else that started making me have issues. And I
need to have my faith and have my relationship and

(15:31):
it be mine, and I need it to be mine
in a way that does not have output outside opinion
or input.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Forces used to do something that you're not okay with.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
Right, because that's not my view or take on said
religion or relationship with Christ whatever however you want to
word that. I believe in a single creator, right. I
believe the resurrection, like I have my faith. There's just
a whole lot of dogma that I have issues with.
I think that when you look at all organized religions,

(16:00):
the thing that makes them all the same is that
the moral structure inside of them is to be a
good person. And it doesn't matter if you're looking at
Hindu religions with multiple gods or Pagan religions with multiple gods, Christians,
you know, whatever you want to there.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Don't get me wrong. There's always warrior gods.

Speaker 4 (16:20):
You know, our God is a warrior god if you
read the Old Testament, but there's a level of compassion
and empathy and be a good person. Don't kill, don't lie,
don't still, don't cove it especially don't cove it because
its where all the other ones come from.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Just a lot that goes into all that.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, anyways, continuing on, before I get into what has changed,
I feel that it's important to state that he has
a family who have attacked me verbally over my spiritual beliefs,
going so far as to insult my grief stricken family
in the process. Well, now I need well, I would
have liked an elaboration on that.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
I would have liked to known what was said, just
because I'm a nosy.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
I wouldn't say I'm a curious cat.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah, I'm nosy.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
I want the kibble. I also don't view that as unnecessary. Right, So,
if you hold your spiritual beliefs very close to you,
why was your family grief stricken? Were we grieving Grandma?
Or did a goldfish die?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Grief? Is grief really matters?

Speaker 3 (17:19):
I think that would have helped me understand the level
of grief they're experiencing. I'm going to be more upset
about grandma dying than my goldfish passing.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
What about your dog?

Speaker 3 (17:29):
There's still a level of grief there, but I would
definitely grieve you more passing than Ivy passing.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
Well, if it came to grandparents, I'd grieve the dog more. Yeah,
I'm just saying right, But that's just me.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
I think it would have added understanding for me, And
at that time he chose not to defend me. He
instead rode the fence and assigned us our individual blame.
I laid boundaries as this heated argument happened in front
of our infants son, and he harbors anger because I

(18:02):
continue to enforce those boundaries. He says that I should
hold on.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
Why does it matter that it happened in front of
your infant son?

Speaker 3 (18:09):
I would have been bothered by that. I know that
an infant can't understand what is happening. I do believe
in energies, and I think that if there is a
lot of negativity happening, that's going to affect the development
of that baby's brain to a certain extent. That also
shows me that these people have no kouth. If you're
willing to do this in front of my child, what

(18:29):
are you going to be willing to do when this
child's actually able to understand and process what's happening.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
Well, there's probably a lot of belief there that the
child can't understand and process and that's based off of energy,
and if he's a Christian, he doesn't believe in that.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
But it said heated argument, not fight. So does that
mean they were screaming and yelling at each other?

Speaker 3 (18:46):
You mean a heated argument?

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Okay, Yeah?

Speaker 4 (18:48):
So were they screaming and yell at each other where
they call on each other names? Were they getting defensive.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
Like getting each other's faces?

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Right?

Speaker 4 (18:53):
So that that changes things. A heated argument to me
means that you and I are having a debate that's
getting a little bit tense, emotional, right, and we need
to take a break and step away so that we
can come back and have a calm conversation, because that's
what we're doing. It's just getting elevated. I think there's
levels before it becomes a fight.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
I agree with that.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
And if it became a fight and it was screaming
and yelling, that's a very different conversation than we're having
a debate and we're starting to a little loud with
each other and it's becoming personal, right, So that matters
to me. It's verbage though, because when I hear a
heated argument, I hear something very different than we were fighting. Yeah,
but I also view disruption as different than an argument,
so that I also agree because of the books that

(19:33):
I read that I know that that will stunt the
development of a child and can create a mental trauma
at an early age that that shows up later in life.
The first I think it was like the first sixteen
months of a kid's life can set the stage for
their entire life based off of the way that they
respond to screaming, yelling, slamming, throwing things, like their nervous

(19:55):
system reacts because their brain was trying to survive.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, I would also like to know what boundaries were
they right, because so you said this was a heated argument.
We don't know what that heated argument looked like. If
it was just an exchange of disagreement and they don't
agree with your religion and we're shit talking your gods
and you're like, well, you're never going to see your
grandson again. Deuces, that is kind of a messed up

(20:21):
boundary to have without discussing that with your husband or
your six year fiance.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Well, it sounds like the continue to enforce the boundaries
was the one set earlier in the email that they're
not going to prevent that they're not going to force
the kids to go to services, because I'm sure the
grandparents who are religious are trying to get the kids
to go to church. The issue that I have so
far in all of this is that he didn't defend
his woman, regardless of the difference, right, regardless of the
religious beliefs. If he's a Christian, you're supposed to honor

(20:46):
your wife and love your wife the way that Christ
loves the church. And though you might want to see
her go to heaven and you want to do all
of that, it is your duty to protect her. And
having outside influences attack her in any way, shape or
form is not protecting her.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
Right.

Speaker 4 (20:59):
And maybe that's a me thing. It could very well
just be a me thing, but I'm not going to
stand by and allow that shit to happen. I will
write people out of my fucking life real quick when
it comes to our marriage.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
They're not married me too.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
For somebody who's, you know, a super Christian with super
Christian family values, he's living in sin with two kids
and a woman he's not married to.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Right, that's very true. I also want to point out,
if you were going to have such an issue with
defending a woman who is blasphemous to your family, Why
are you even with her if you weren't prepared to
defend her honor and love her as she is as
a Christian, as Christians claim to right, It's not your
job to convert people. It's your job to love them

(21:38):
right and hope that your example is one that is
set that helps to draw people to what you've got
going on. I agree with the whole. It bothers me.
He didn't defend her.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Your septum ring looks really good.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Oh my goodness, thank you.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
Yeah, that's way better than the one that you were
in yesterday. Yeah, yeah, I think that's probably my favorite
piece of Joey you got now.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
I thought you're gonna tell me it was krik.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
No, it's good like the other one that you have,
the one that used to wear all the time is
slightly bent yea, so it always sits kind of weird.
And the one that you were wearing that's got that
weird like angled point, it doesn't sits. This is an
I'm spicy brained right now. I'm sorry I'm fixating on it,
but it always sits off to a little bit, even
if it is center. Yeah, and that one sits right
on your filtrum and it's very aesthetically seeing that.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
I love that. Yeah, I like adding things to my
face so you'll look at it more. What shoulders show?

Speaker 2 (22:31):
No, there's a whole lot of dirty dick jokes.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
Oh my gunns.

Speaker 4 (22:35):
Our entire chat right now is all religion stuff, and
it's calm. There's no ugliness. Nobody's arguing. There's not like
a hostility. It is honest, just calm conversation happening about religion.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
And I love that.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
And it's variable religions, it's not just Christianity that's being discussed, right.
I did see something a minute ago that somebody said
that they've learned a whole lot about peace through Buddhism.
I've read a lot about Dharma and Buddhism and all
of that. I did that when I was in my twenties,
and I understand a lot of the you know, the
culture in that aspect, and I think that's why we
were in Thailand. Olivia was like, you guys are more
like Thai people than Americans because of the way that

(23:11):
you conduct yourselves.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, what a compliment that was. Yeah, that made me
very emotional there was a we should reach out to her.
I don't know if you still have her contact information.
There was an earthquake in Thailand.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I know I saw.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
I don't think she's stationed in Thailand. I think she
goes back to China.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
I think that she lives in Thailand with her sister
when she's there, but I know that her family's there.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
We should just reach out to her.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
Make sure you have her contact information. I don't All right,
let's get back to it. Oh my food's out there.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
All right, continuing on, Yeah, I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Meet myself while get this other bag.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Okay. He says that I should find forgiveness in quotations
because they've already apologized. He tells me that my heart
is full of hate and that I'm immature for reviews
refusing their visits and not allowing them around our children.
He says that due to his grandmother's ai and declining health,
she should be excused. This is all without embellishment. Okay,

(24:06):
while you're doing what you're doing, I want to pause
on the forgiveness thing. Forgiveness is not for the people.
Forgiveness is for yourself. So if you truly are holding
on to hate, and this is something that causes a
negative reaction within your body. You do need forgiveness. I
agree with him on that. Now, if he's saying that
you need to forgive them and accept their behaviors, I

(24:27):
disagree with that. You can have forgiveness without acceptance. And
I too would not tolerate people who think it's okay
to disrespect me in any capacity, especially in front of
my children. If their apology was sincere and they recognize
the wrong that they have put out into the universe,

(24:50):
which as Christians, I hope that they would have accountability
and know that they are not just peer of heart
because they believe in Jesus, they are still humans of
sin and and they make mistakes. If that apology has
happened and you're continuing to why is cock block the
only thing coming to my mind. If you're cock blocking

(25:11):
them from seeing the children because you're still holding on
to that hate, that's not okay.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
I wonder if the apology is a true apology, because
there's a difference between trying to smooth things over and
being remorseful for your actions, and the point of an
apology is to ask for forgiveness. You're supposed to be
seeking repentance for what you did. And if there's no
changed action and that shit's going to continue, there's no
reason to accept the apology. You can say I forgive you,

(25:38):
but your actions will not change, and I don't want
you around me. Yes, there's nothing wrong with that. I
would hold that line. And I don't give a fuck
if she's old and dying or not. Right, that's like
saying you can't hit him. He's drunk just makes it easier.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
Right, I agree with that. So his grandmother is now
a great grandmother to their children. And if great Grandma
can't get her shit, toget either. You've been here longer
than anybody you. You should be the one following the
Testament to a t right and know what's right and wrong.
And if you're being a nasty person to somebody just

(26:12):
because you disagree with them, I would be harder on
great Grandma than anybody else. I expect more out of you. Woman.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Elders should know better. Yeah, well, you should have a
lot more compassion, more wisdom.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
These days, my beloved is doing his best to straighten up,
as is his religious inclination. He hasn't touched a drop
of alcohol nor has he smoked with me in months?
I'm so proud of him, happy hands. I do my
best to support him unconditionally. He's been less successful with cigarettes,
but I haven't bugged him about it. I cannot stress

(26:48):
enough that I feel it's important that I support him
in this. Okay, I want to pause right there? Did
you continue reading?

Speaker 2 (26:55):
Did?

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Okay? I wanted to touch on he hasn't he's been
less successful with the cigarettes, so he hasn't quit smoking cigarettes,
but I haven't bugged him about it. I wonder why
that verbiage?

Speaker 4 (27:06):
Right?

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Instead of why haven't I'm doing my best to support.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Him, right, Why would you bug him about it? You're
not the one. I mean, maybe you are. Maybe you
are the one who has pushed him to stop drinking
alcohol and stop smoking. But if this is a choice
that he is making and he's decided to stop those things,
saying I haven't bugged him about it is almost akin
to nagging to me, like you're viewing what he's doing wrong.

(27:31):
You're supporting him while simultaneously judging like low key that
he hasn't quit this one thing yet. So not shitting
on it, Just wondering why that verbiage was used, and
you don't have to email back in. That's more of
a self pondering. The way that people word things says
a lot about inner feelings. He doesn't support me, though

(27:54):
he barely shows me the courtesy he once did.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
Before you're reading further slinns of doozy Okay, buff Bell
in the chat just said I don't enjoy fake food period.
I have gotten to the point where I might. The
Ayahuasca retreat fucked me up. Yeah, in a good way, right,
It changed a whole lot of things fundamentally. I still
haven't had an energy drink. No, you haven't got a

(28:18):
whole fridge full of them, haven't touched it. I've had
two sodas. I opened two sodas. I drank one because
there's nothing else to drink and I hate water, and
I drank half of the other one and poured it
out of Coke zero.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
You're drinking seven up, you're drinking non caffeine, right, because.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
It's I'm done with that now too. Yeah, because even
that was bothering me. I've moved on to lemonade. I'm
not taking fat burners. I'm not taking a federra like
all of my adrenal glands are starting to reset. I'm
starting to sleep normal, normal hours except for my back pain.
And when food doesn't taste right, I'm not eating it.
I threw away everything. Last night I had like three
bites of the mushrooms and like four French fries.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yeah. I couldn't finish my dinner last night either.

Speaker 4 (28:56):
And I haven't had red meat other than like I've
had pepperoni on pizza, which I think is pork technically
a red meat, but it's not beef. All of that
has changed. So, like, my food taste has changed drastically
since that retreat. Yeah, so I agree, buff Bell. That
was all I was going to say. Now you can
read the next line because it's fucking doozy.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Well, I want to pause there as well. So the
ayahuasca retreat also really messed up my food taste. We
had pizza for the first time since coming back in
the retreat. Why are you laughing?

Speaker 4 (29:28):
Because I walked outside and you're sitting naked on a
pillow in the rain in our backyard.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
I was going through it was, what the fuck are
you doing? So we ordered Dominoes for dinner. I loved
Domino's pizza. There're a thin crust pizza, extra sauce, light cheese.
There were a bunch of pepperoni on there. Was one
of my favorite things to eat, and I can usually
smash a whole medium pizza. Of that, I ate maybe

(29:59):
a a half of it. I ate a chocolate lava cake.
I was like, I'm gonna go do some hope, relax myself,
enjoy the evening, let everything wash away. I did the
first blow. I took my first deep breath and I
put it in my nose and I was like, oh no,
and I panicked a little bit, so I took it
out and I was like, I have to breathe a
little bit first. So I did some deep breaths and

(30:20):
I put it in there and I went and I
was like, fuck, she's mad at me. And I was say,
I have to do the second one. I have to
do the second blow. I loaded it up and I
put my intentions into it too. Funnily enough, my intentions were,
if I need to hear something, tell me, like, I'm
open to any messages right now. I loaded up my

(30:41):
hot Bay. I blew it the second time and I
started spitting, and then I heard just in the back
of my mind. I heard mother go, you shouldn't have
eaten that tonight, and then I just started profusely vomiting
everything that I ate, and like I started getting nausches.
I was like, oh no. I was like I don't
want to do please, mother, don't make me. And then

(31:04):
I stood up and I ran to the back door
and I barely made it outside and I just started
and then Ivy's at my feet eating it, and I
was like, Ivy, you're so disgusting, and like it's landing
all over my dress and all I can hear, just
on repeat is you shouldn't have eaten that. You shouldn't
have eaten that for dinner. You shouldn't have eaten that.
And I was like, I know, I'm so sorry, and

(31:28):
like I finally got it all out of my system,
and I took my dress off because I threw up
all over it, and then I got the urge to
sit in the rain. I was like, I have to
cleanse myself on my shame. So I grabbed one of
the couch cushions and our back patio furniture and I
threw it on the ground and I just sat with

(31:50):
my legs criss cross apple sauce, just sitting in the rain,
and I was like, oh, God, Mother, forgive me. I
was like, I know, I did this to myself, and
now I never want to eat pizza again unless I
make it at home.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
And that's what I walked out too. Yeah, and there
was no puke on the ground. I got all of it.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
She ate every single Yeah, she ate all of it.
She didn't eat dinner that night because she had mine.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
And she's had the shits ever since.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Good times.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah, I felt great after it. I was like lesson learned, noted.
I ate some grapes and cheese. I went inside and
I was like, opening up the fridge. I got seen
me as some I got those cotton candy grapes and
really really sweet ones, and I grabbed some cheddar cheese
and I sat on the couch and I started eating.
And my husband looked at me and he was like, grapes.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
And I was like, grapes, you actually ate more of
your pizza than I ate of mine.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I only ate like three or four little squares.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
I was so hungry that I think that was the
first thing I ate that day. We had a really
crazy day that day. I'd be like that, and now
I made some homemade stuff shells with cheese tomato sauce.
It was fantastic, one of the greatest things I've ever eaten.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Does that mean that's gonna be a regular thing.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
That's going to become a regular thing. Yeah. It was
really easy to make.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
It can be like a once a week only kind
of thing. Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Not a fan of it.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
I fucking hate spaghetti anything, and that's all it tasted
like to me. Really, I had to convince myself that
it was just lasagna and a role to get it down.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
It didn't taste bad. I just don't like spaghetti like that.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
I can try a different.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
Tomato paste, watery tomato paste flavor. I fucking hate it.
I hate spaghetti so much.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
One of the greatest things for me. Yeah, I can
try other things. That's okay by other things, Okay, okay.
He doesn't support me, though he barely shows me the
courtesy he once did. Today he said the unthinkable. If
I have to break up with you, I will. I
won't deny my God for you.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
I don't even need an explanation as to why that
was stated. You are never going to get married to
this man. Yes, the engagement was absolutely a placeholder ring.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
Yeah, there's probably it could have been a shut up ring, could.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Have been we have no idea. Yeah, man, are so
much there.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
You're not a priority to him. There is You're right,
there is so much there.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's on the table now.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Yeah, right, that that is now an option for him.
I would never feel secure in this relationship. And you
take my glasses off so the reader knows I'm serious.
That would have been relationship ending for me. There would
have been conversations. I don't even know if there would
have been conversations, because why why would you get with me?

(34:34):
You knew that I was pegan this whole time. We've
had conversations of how we're going to raise our children.
We've had conversations about how we're not going to force
each other into our religions, and we've had children, and
we've had children. So now he's brought children into this
really fucked up situation. I wonder how long he's been
feeling this way. I I, oh, gosh, I'm sorry that

(34:57):
was said to you. I can't imagine how devastating that
must have felt. You've dedicated six years of your life
to this man. You've brought life to earth with this man.
It would be really hard for me not to spiral
and question everything. Has he ever actually loved me? Has

(35:19):
he been secretly hating me this whole time? Does his
family have a negativity bias against me? And that's why
they said what they said, because he goes to them
and says things.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Probably. I have a whole lot I want to say,
but I want to read the next paragraph first.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
Okay, this came out because I asked him not to
share photography that contains pictures of my altar. I can
understand that it's a personal thing. He had shared a
photo with his pastor, despite agreeing to this rule previously.
Inside the plumes of incense smoke, you can quite clearly

(35:50):
make out the image of Jesus. This moved him to
tears as he was praying at the time.

Speaker 4 (35:56):
So he took that in a negative manner, which is
why he stated that he would leave her over that right.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
I have so much where I even begin with this.

Speaker 4 (36:07):
He's okay with living in sin, not married, two kids,
two kids, smoke cigarettes, is doing a whole lot of
things that goes against his faith as as per the Bible.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Not putting his supposed woman for his family.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
Right, there's a whole lot going on there that doesn't
speak to what Christianity is supposed to be. But he's
more worried about the outside influence of other people's thoughts,
his families, his pastors, all of that shit, and now
now he's threatening to leave her over it. So you
have a like what is acceptable and what is not
acceptable in sin Because it doesn't work that way, bro',

(36:43):
You're like, get your fucking house in order, worry about
all of the other shit, and then maybe try to
worry about your relationship. Like I don't I don't understand
how you're going to stand on this hill when you've
got all these other flaws that you're not willing to correct.
Maybe the faith difference is why he's not getting married.
And if that's the case, I get it. Yeah, I
totally fucking get it.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Continuing on, when I reminded him of the rule, that
was his response. This isn't the first time he said it. Also,
most notably, the aforementioned family that I have separated myself
from stated that the religious differences would be our undoing.
I believe that I also would have stated that I

(37:22):
will state that right now. I think it would be
very hard for anybody with two differing religious views to
not just be married, but to form a family together.
The arguments that are going to come from, how are
we going to raise the children, What are the children
going to believe in? What do we believe is right
versus wrong, good versus bad, black and white, whatever, whatever.
There's a gray area for everything. But if you want

(37:44):
to celebrate Christmas and your partner wants to celebrate Hanukah,
that's going to be a very very hard thing to tackle,
especially if there's outside family influence. Just like there is
here right right.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
It can be done.

Speaker 4 (37:57):
It can't really fucking hard and take special peace to
do it. And that's really what it comes down to.
I think that there is an understanding when it comes
to Christianity that there's only been one perfect person in
the world and we crucified him. Yeah, so to hold
yourself at a standard is the point of being having
your faith, but to understand that you're going to fall short,
which is why we need the glory of God. Like

(38:19):
that's a thing. You also can't be responsible for other
people's souls. I know that there are religions out there
that make you knock on people's doors to try to
save the world. You're responsible for your kids, and as
a man, you're supposed to lead your house in religion,
and maybe that's something he's hung up on, Like there's
a whole lot that goes into all this. I have
a hard time with all of this shit.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah, continuing on, you have to scroll down a little bit.
I'm stubborn, so this has become a sore spot. I
think I'd rather gargle thumb tacks and allow them to
be right.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, okay, so that's dumb as fuck.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
That really is really stupid that I would say that
to somebody's face. The sentence that you just that out
loud with stupid. You're willing to live a very miserable
life with somebody who does not prioritize you. Sounds like
they don't care about you and are willing to say
things just to hurt you because you don't want somebody
else to be right right, where's the priority of your happiness?

(39:15):
What about the children? You're willing to put the children
through a messed up childhood home with with spiritual warfare
happening because you don't want great Grandma to be right
about what's going on.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
This spiritual warfare is going to happen either way, because
those kids are going to grow up confused because dad's
religion is a mom's religion is very different.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
Right, Well, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, this is
just adding on to it.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Well, I think it's going to happen regardless. I think
that if they leave, if they separate and she ends
up with the kids and Dad gets the kids, he's
going to try to force that religion down their throats
and try to force them to go to church on
the weekends when he has them, and do all of
that shit, and it's going to create conflict. It's not
going to allow them to make a choice on their own.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (39:56):
But I also think that that speaks to programming, which
is what you know we talked about earlier.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
This is where I admit my own faults on the matter.
I have some severe religious trauma diagnosed. I suffer from
PTSD due to some of the unfortunate things I've experienced.
That's when hard to attend church every blue moon with
him to support him. Oh, it's been hard to attend
church every blue moon with him to support him. I

(40:22):
wear my veil and pagan jewelry, I'm restless in the
pews and embarrass him because I refuse to sing the hymns,
stand or bow my head in prayer.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
Then why go?

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Right? If I go say I have a Jewish friend
and they invite me in a synagogue, I am not
going to walk in there dressed in all black, wearing
like anti Christ jewelry and upside down crosses and all
these kinds of things. I'm going to be respectful to
what they have going on. This is an opportunity for

(40:54):
you to open up yourself past the scope of what
you're already open to. This is just disrespectful in my opinion.
It's I can understand not wanting to disrespect your own religion.
You're not going to church to follow the religion. You're
going there to support your husband, right, But for your
six year fiance, she.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
Is technically disrespecting her religion. He's not doing pagan services
with her, Yeah, because they view that as as demonic, right,
So I don't think she should go. There's no reason
for her to be going to church. All she's doing
is creating more negativity in a relationship. Yeah, because she's
going to support him, but she's not going for why
he wants.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
Her to go.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
He's probably getting exciting when Okay, she's gonna go, it's
gonna be the night she's gonna get saved. Like I
think she should just opt out.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
Yeah, I agree with that. Continuing I always end up
in the nursery with the children anyways. Thankfully he doesn't
force me to go, but I'm trying to get the
children out of the house more and admittedly having conversations
with them about it has added to the trauma. So
I'm gonna pause here because I don't understand how you

(42:00):
have religious trauma and then choose to be with a
man who's religious.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Right.

Speaker 4 (42:04):
I also don't see how a conversation can add to
the trauma unless he's you know, berating her and being yeah,
super aggressive. A conversation is just a conversation. It might
trigger you, but a conversation can't add to your trauma unless.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Unless he's repeating the things that traumatize you.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Well those those, yeah, maybe I may have, but I
would still see that more as a trigger.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:25):
I don't believe that you can be triggered by a conversation.
I just don't now attacks like you know, verbal nastiness,
ugly screaming, yelling in your face, that kind of shit.
Like I could see how that would put you on
your heels, but just having a I just don't believe that.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
I can see how you would.

Speaker 4 (42:40):
Be annoyed by it, you'd be triggered by it, But
I don't see it adding to your trauma. It's you
reliving situations that you haven't healed from yet. It's not
adding to it. Again though, that's my standpoint.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Yeah, I wish there was a like an inclusion of
what was said what was said, right, because if he's
sitting here cramming down your throat that you're going to
go to hell and and blasphemy, and he's throwing Bibles
at your face, right, that's different from I went to
church on Sunday and this is what was talked about,
and it made me feel this way, and I have
a new enlightenment that I want to talk to you about. Right, continuing,

(43:14):
I don't feel safe trying to have this conversation with
him anymore. He won't listen, and no phrase I've used
seems to open his eyes. I've tried everything from an
ultimatum to compromise. So he's not the only one who
said that he's going to leave the relationship and choose
his God. That's how I read an ultimatum. You're either
going to step in line with what I want you
to do, or I'm going to leave you.

Speaker 4 (43:35):
Well, that's right, that is an ultimatum. The ultimatum could
have been that we had an agreement. Yeah, and if
you don't follow the agreement, I'm going to leave. Because
that has nothing to do with the faith that has
you keep your religion. I'll keep my religion and will
let the kids decide. Yeah, you've tried to force your
religion on me because you think it's your duty to
your God to save me. That's problematic because now you're

(43:55):
no longer adhering to your your our agreement. And from
a Christian standpoint, most Christian faiths tell you that you
are supposed to spread the Gospel, and you are supposed
to try to save people and bring them to Jesus
and do all of those things. So if you're in
a marriage, you're in a relationship and it is your
duty to lead the home, and you have children, and
you were living as if you were married, even though

(44:16):
you're not. And now there's questions too about how your
marriage would look. That could be why you're not married,
because if you want a pagan marriage and he wants
a Christian and you guys can't agree, there's the reason
that you're six years engaged and not ever going to
get married.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yeah, this relationship is getting to appoint him no return.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
Yeah, I think it's past that point now. Yeah, once
it's been put on the table that I'm willing to
choose my God over you and end this relationship and
break up our family. Like you guys are already too
far gone. Hey, guys, a little quick interruption. If you're
enjoying the content, please leave alike, and also don't forget
to comment. We enjoy interacting with you guys and hearing
your opinions and it helps the algorithm.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
It's also free to do, and if you really want
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this subscribe button and share the content across your social media's.
It costs you nothing and it greatly helps to.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Show continuing on. I'm growing angry. He insults my beliefs.
Now he makes posts on his social media about my
religion under the light of repentance. He insults my friends
and family who share my views, who defend me fiercely.
Yet he proclaims that I'm the only person he has
to talk to about his own personal journey. Yet I
feel so alone in mind.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Well, because you are him attacking you on social media
under the light of repentance and in insulting your friends
and family like this, this relationship needs to end. Yes,
buff Bell said, I'm willing to bet he thought he
could convert her.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
I believe that.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
Oh yeah, I believe that. This is why you don't
get in relationships because of the potential you see in somebody. Yeah,
you need to see the person for as they are
in the moment, and then the potential, right, not their potential,
And if they happen to grow and change and evolve
and form into a new person, dope, love them through that.

(46:00):
But you can't get with somebody because you think I
can make her. See Jesus, you.

Speaker 4 (46:03):
Know how many people do that though, even without their
religion aspect. That's why that phrase is popular. Yeah, love
them for who they are, not their potential. Everybody believes
that they can change their person. We would not have
a podcast if that wasn't the case right continuing?

Speaker 3 (46:18):
Are we just growing apart? Am I going to have
to break my family apart over this? Or am I
just doing it wrong? I need a good cry, but
your advice will help so much. A good cry is
not going to fix this. A good cry might make
you feel better. That's a really nice purge to go through.
I think some very serious conversations need to happen, and
there are going to be some really hard decisions in
your future.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
I agree. I agree.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
I think that all of the ugly that he's throwing
at you, he's doing so hoping that you will see
the change, like, see what you're doing is wrong and
come to the light right. And I think that you
need to tell him that all that's doing is pushing
you further and further away from his beliefs, and that
if this is going to continue, that the relationship's not
going to last because what he's doing is abusing you.

Speaker 3 (46:59):
Yes, what I view as what he's doing now as
a new tactic to try and get her to convert.
He was nice and gentle and sweet in the beginning,
and I was trying to get her to come to
church and be supportive of what she was doing while
like low key underhanding everything that was going on, be like, hey,
well did you think about this? And now that that
hasn't worked, he's being nasty about it.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
It is definitely a change of tactics.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
Yeah, and the amount of other people that are involved
in their relationship, his family, the church, the pastor all
of those people that are involved in all of that.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
Well, her family is involved in it too, because now
he's brought it to the public, he's posting about it
on social media.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
So is her friends because he's degrading her friends as well.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Yeah, this is I would have one conversation. We're either
going to come together over this. There's going to be
sincere apologies about how we've treated each other over the
last six years, and we can agree to disagree on
our religious views, or you are free to go find
somebody who agrees with what you have going on and
we can co parent our children together.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Right.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Yeah, that's a tough one. This is why we put
the the courting questions together, the questionnaire together. You know,
you want to make sure that you have the same
same values, and you can even include religious values in
that and that questionnaire. You know, if you're somebody who
is anti God and somebody that is very God. You're
gonna have issues in the relationship.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
It can be done.

Speaker 4 (48:17):
There are gonna be people who have the faith like
I have. You can believe whatever you want to believe.
I'm worried about my soul right like, And that was
the situation with us. We had all of our conversations
about religion. I never pushed any of it. This is
just what I believe. I've seen too much to not
believe in a greater you know, creator, and and this this,
this is my faith. And we had conversations and you
decided to convert. That had nothing to do with me

(48:38):
at all. It was just conversations and the decisions that
you made. If you were still doing the pagan thing,
and like, if you were doing tarot card readings and
I was anti Tarot card readings, and I would just
not be home when you did that. Shit, You're gonna
You're gonna have your friends over tonight. I'm gonna fucking
go see a movie or go hang out with Sean,
and I don't I'm gonna do something other than fucking
sit here because this makes me fucking feel uneasy. And
I don't want to be a part of it. That's

(48:59):
that's how that would have played out now, like the
big crystal things, and like moon water and moon bath
water and all that shit, like whatever, I believe in that.
I don't think that there's anything demonic or unnatural about it.
I don't understand the way a battery fucking works, but
it works nuclear fission, I don't get it, but it does,
and it power.

Speaker 3 (49:17):
Shit.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
I don't understand adams on a you know, molecular cell.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
God does. He created all of it, So maybe there
is power and all of that shit. I don't fucking know.
But they're cool looking. They make me feel good when
I'm walking in the house seeing all that nice looking
shit laying around, Like yeah, that's that's the difference in perspective.
I don't believe that it's my duty to save the world.
Not in that aspect. I believe I'm being called to
do other things. And if he is being called to

(49:41):
save the world, maybe he should. He should become a
you know, a pastor. I'm gonna go s this way
and then we'll get into another one, because unless you
got more you want to talk about.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
No, I'm good. I think we discussed a lot.

Speaker 4 (49:52):
This is called short exclamation point bad Valentine.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
It's one page.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
Okay, word bad Valentine. That sounds like a song. Right, Hi, guys,
I wash your stuff a lot. And I know this
may not get read or responded to, but just wanted
to get it off my chest. This Valentine, my husband
surprised me with three roses and some candy in my
car waiting for me when I left for work. Sweet
right when I joked there were only being When I

(50:21):
joked about there only being three roses, he said most
of the other ones were wilted, and he picked the
best three to keep. Then we had planned to go
to dinner that day long.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Okay, she shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
I agreed. There should have been gratitude.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
Right, there's no joking about that. Why only three? You
ungrateful bitch? Like that's how most men would take that. Yeah,
I went above and beyond bought your roses and chocolate
and put them in your car.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
So you'd find them.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
There was thought and effort put into this, then to
find out that they were wilted, and he got rid
of the ugly ones so that you only saw the
pretty ones. Don't do that, ladies, Yeah, don't do that shit.
Show your gratitude, keep the little Joki jokes in the
fucking one liner to yourself, because that will shut a
man down quick as fuck. Yeah, and you will get
a very different version of your man moving forward after.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
That, continuing, when I joked about there only being three roses,
he said the others were wilted and he picked the
best for you to keep. Then we had planned to
go to dinner that night, and while I was waiting
in the car for a table to be ready, I
found the receipt for the things that he got for me.
I found out that he not only got something for me,
but gave a flower each plus some candy to three

(51:28):
ladies at work from the flowers that he got me.
In case we lied, I would have a fucking problem
with that.

Speaker 4 (51:36):
You know, I've reader about that with me because I'm
do Valentine's Day. I think it's a bullshit holiday. What
if they were all like fucking seventy year old women.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
Context matters, right, You're right, I'm pulling back the love
quin a little bit. Context matters if their grandmothers, you know,
older women, maybe their husbands have passed away and they're
not They have gotten used not being thought of on
Valentine's Day or whatever whatever. That's a different context.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
What if they're in their forties and fifties and he's
in their early twenties. I view that as a respect thing, right,
So context matters. Context does matter.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
You're right. The fact that he didn't say anything about it,
he lied, that would still make me crazy at buck, like,
we're not going to dinner tonight. You lied by omission.
You not telling me. This makes me feel like you're
doing something behind my back. And now we have to
go home and I have to process all of this.
This hurt my feelings a lot. It completely ruined the

(52:32):
night because to me it wasn't as special or meant
as much what he did for me because he took
some of what he got from me and gave it
to somebody else. Plus I had no idea that he
had did this. Was I right to be mad or
upset about it? Or is it not a big deal?

Speaker 2 (52:47):
Let's pause there. You have a right to feel how
you feel.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
Right, You're going to get upset by shit, and you
need to talk through it.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
That's where the communication comes in. So what we just did.

Speaker 4 (52:57):
Well, what if they were seven year old women, or
what if they know he's in his early twenties and
our forties and fifties and he's just being respectful.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Those conversations need to happen. Now.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
If they're all working somewhere and they're all they're all
young women and he's just being flirtying, that's a very
different conversation. So you have to process your emotions in
the moment and then have a conversation about it. I
wouldn't have let it ruin dinner. I would have gotten
upset about it and been like that made me feel

(53:26):
a certain way. Let's enjoy our dinner and we can
talk about it when we get home, because there needs
to be conversations had. But I don't think that I
would have had it out in a parking lot. And
I definitely wouldn't have fucking let it ruin the evening
because he did take.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
You to dinner.

Speaker 4 (53:37):
Those women didn't get dinner, Like, he still did something
for you above and beyond what he did for them.
But until you know that the understanding the why of everything,
that's just an emotional response. If you had all of
the data and all of the information and you understood
what was going on, you would have processed that information differently.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Do you know the three women at work that he
gave them to?

Speaker 4 (53:56):
Like, did he tell you who they were and you
were familiar with him because you've been in there, Because
that would change the conversation as well. I don't think
that it's You can't ever say, am I wrong to
feel this way? Your feelings are not a logical response.
Your feelings are a visceral reaction within you, and it
comes from lived life experience.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Right.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
You have probably been put last in relationships in the past,
probably cheated on. Right, There's probably a whole lot of
things that are happening there and your your gut reaction
is going to be the way that it is. My
issue in all of this is that he lied, because
anything beyond that, you can't trust what he's toll said.
They wilt it and I threw them away. Well, what

(54:40):
about all the other roses that you bought for other people?

Speaker 3 (54:42):
Like?

Speaker 2 (54:43):
You know what I mean? There's just a lot in
that aspect that I have issue with.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
I would also have a problem with. You didn't get
me anything special. You got me and three other women
the same thing.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Except for the dinner.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
Dinner means nothing to me at this point. The lying
biomission and knowing that I was just grouped. This is
like a group on deal for you, Right, I get that.
I'm good on that. I need to go home and
I need to process everything going on right now. I
don't touch me.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
Again, if they were seventy year old women, I could
see it being okay, forty fifty year old him being young,
just trying to be respectful or polite. Yeah, But even then,
I think, even on the forty and fifty year old
woman thing, I think that that would have been too
much because if I was married to one of those
women and found out somebody at work had given them
roses and candy, it would have been it would have
been a problem. Right, So like there's there's definitely a
conversation that has to be had in all of that.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
I just don't I don't know. He lied, He lied,
That's what That's what I'm hung up on.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
Yeah. Uh, was I right to be mad or upset
about it? Or is it not a big deal? It
really bothers me? And he got mad and said that
I was unappreciative of his love and what he did
for me by getting me the stuff, But to me,
he didn't only get it for me. He got it
for other people as well, so it didn't mean the same.
What do you think.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
I think that your feelings are valid. I think that
he didn't get you something different if you would have
bought if you had bought all of those girls a
single flower and a box of M and M's, and
bought you a giant bouquet, an edible arrangement, and a
giant box of chocolates, it would have been very different.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Do you agree with that?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
I agree with that.

Speaker 4 (56:13):
I don't think that all of them should have gotten
the same thing. I agree there should have been something
that set her apart from all of that, and then
that could have been the thing that made it okay
for him to just be respectful, the nice guy at
work that's doing nice shit for nice people, you know
what I mean? Like, I think that there's a whole
lot of information here that needs to be cleared up
for me to give an honest like this is what
I think.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
I don't have any other thoughts on that. Okay, I
agree there should be more information. I can't really formulate
an opinion without knowing. Were these women in their sixties
or were they eighteen to nineteen years old? Was he
trying to swoop in and save the day for these
women because their boyfriend did not step up to the
bat and he was trying to be the hero. I'd

(56:55):
have a problem with that too. Those women are not
yours to take care of, bitch, I am.

Speaker 4 (57:00):
This one's called struggling mom of a self isolated fourteen
year old boy. This is a three pager. Okay, this
will be the last one. Okay, Jenna said, I disagree.
I think if my man is gifting women on a holiday,
it should have been discussed previously and been gifted from us,
not him.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
That's a really good point.

Speaker 4 (57:16):
That is a good point that changes the entire discussion
because now she's included and it's not a here you
go girl. Right Yeah, Okay.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Hey, guys, let me start by saying, I love y'all
so much, I value your advice so much, and I'm
sorry this is all over the place. Now for my issue,
my oldest son is fourteen, is on the spectrum. His
bio dad has never been around much since I left
him in twenty twelve due to DV and multiple essay
at his hands. But I do have a boyfriend and
we've been together almost two years and recently bought a

(57:48):
house and moved dead together. My son is such a
kind hearted young man and feels everything deeply, but a
struggling to find its place in the world. His comfort
zone is online and he doesn't really associate much with people,
and partly due to being bullied when he was younger,
either due to his quirks or being or because he
did have lots of undesirable behaviors such as stealing in violence.

(58:11):
But he's been doing great since twenty twenty when he
had his last hospitalization. We have done every kind of
therapy that the doctors recommended, even a partial hospitalization program.
It's like being hospitalized, but he came home every day
after his school day. Now he's fourteen and is doing amazing.
I'm so proud of him. However, for the past few months,

(58:31):
he's been in this online relationship with a girl in
North Carolina. We live in Pennsylvania, and his behavior is
worrying me. My kids have Bark phones highly recommended, so
everything is monitored, texts, social media, web searches, etc. Well,
I've been getting alerts from Bark about his texts with
this girl, and she seems to be very mentally unstable.

(58:54):
She said she wants to hurt herself, sent pictures to
my son of scratches all over her arms, saying she
did it to herself and that she's sad.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
I have a really hard time with this already.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
Yeah, I would disconnect from everything, like you are not
allowed to talk to this girl, and I would be
calling a wellness check. Yeah, I would be getting in
contact with her parents, Like this would be taking very
very seriously.

Speaker 4 (59:19):
Yeah, fourteen years old, Like you should be involved in
your child's life still at that point, Like you should
know who they're talking to and what they're doing and
trying to meet parents. But like being in a relationship
at fourteen years old with somebody in another state. You're
a fucking pen pal.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Right, that's it.

Speaker 4 (59:34):
You don't have the ability to go see them. You
can voice chat, you have a friend, and you can
think that you're in love and think that you're a
savior and all of that bullshit. You're not at fourteen
years old. You're a pin pal. That's really all there
is to that. All of that shit is attention seeking, Yes,
especially if it's scratches. She didn't say cut, she said scratches.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
Yeah. My son, being who he is, has adapted this
savior complex. In my opinion, He's always asking her what
he can do and how he can make her happy,
and she'll usually come back with maybe some V bucks
or an emotes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
What are V bucks?

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
I'm assuming online currency. It all just screams a manipulation
to me. Do we even know if this is really
a fourteen year old girl.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
We don't. It's for fortnite. V Bucks is for fortnite.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
I would be losing my mind. Yeah, I would become
that over overdeering whatever the word is, helicopter parent. You're
not talking to this girl anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Zach said that calling it a pinpalace dismissive of the
emotional intimacy they likely share. How you can have emotional
intimacy with somebody via letter. It doesn't change the fact
that at fourteen years old, he's not going to see
this person. It is an online long distance relationship and
it will not be more than that until he's at
least eighteen.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Yeah, or he.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Runs away from home. She's using him to get things.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Yeah, As someone who's self harmed, and struggled with depression
as a kid. I was worried. We've had several talks
with him about her behavior and asked if there are
any safe adults she may be able to talk to
and try to tell him it's not his job to
save her and that no matter how much he may
want to, that he can't. If she is really struggling
with depression and self harm, that she needs to get

(01:01:19):
help on her own from a professional. Okay, she can't
get help on her own. She is also a child,
or what we believe as a child.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
I'm curious if there's ever been video chat right, because
you can pull pictures of self harm.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Off the internet easy easy. I am a cynical motherfucker man.

Speaker 4 (01:01:36):
Yeah, and I don't believe in shit when it comes
to things like this, Like I unless she was doing
it when I actually got to see it, I wouldn't
believe that she was doing the shit at fourteen years old, though.
You're so gullible because you haven't been fucked over by
life yet.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Where's your brain still developing?

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Right? Where's he getting money to give her this shit?

Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Because at fourteen years old, he's not working.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
He just shuts down and tells me that he's not
breaking up with her and that I can't make him.
I quickly told him other and that that was not
my goal. If he wants to be a support for her,
that's one thing, but it's starting to affect his everyday life.
He no longer wants to participate in family night most nights. Lately,
he said he's not hungry at dinner time, which is
not like him, because this boy loves to eat. That

(01:02:17):
lool she put loo at the end of that sentence.
That bothers me that he loves to eat. Haha, ha, Right,
this is not a funny situation. This child is no
longer eating because of the anxiety and stress that he's
experiencing because of this claim to be fourteen year old
girl he's in a relationship with via the internet.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
Do you think that that's stress related or do you
think that he's trying to spend time in his room
and they won't let him eet there.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
Oh that's a good question.

Speaker 4 (01:02:42):
Because if he was able to come down, make a plate,
and go back up to his room, I'm willing to
bet he would. I remember what it was like being
fourteen years old. If there was a girl that had interest.
So I'm old. We didn't have that shit we had
we had phones and you hang up, No, you hang up, haha, no,
you hang up. Yeah, they sit on fucking playing video game.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
They could be not talking.

Speaker 4 (01:02:59):
I remember being a kid on the phone listening to
somebody breathe watching television. Neither one of us are talking.
We were both just watching TV on the phone. Every
once in a while, here's some oh shit, him on
the phone. It's very different. But you know, I think
that there's a whole lot of details and information in
that that needs to be disclosed.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
I guess z.

Speaker 4 (01:03:22):
Energy said, so she is isolating him. That is predatory behavior, right. Well,
we also don't know if it's actually a fourteen year
old girl, right, it could be. It could be a
fucking grown man taking advantage of your kid. Like, there's
a lot of fucking weirdos when it comes to that shit.
That's why I don't think that kids at fourteen years
old should have access to video games on supervise.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
I agree. Me and my boyfriend and my other son
went to dinner the other day somewhere. He's been asking
to go and he declined. I and my boyfriend I
both tried to talk to him. Given my boyfriend is
a very blunt and sometimes asholest person is how he
comes across. I get that me too, but his intentions
are not to hurt. He's just the blue collar steel

(01:04:01):
mill worker who is very upfront and a no bullshit
kind of man. And I love that, and I do
think that tough love is needed for a young man.
I agree, but my son just says I'm fine. I
just want to be alone. He doesn't want to be alone.
He wants to be left by himself so he can
have access to this girl without the opinions of you
guys being crammed on his throat.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
I agree with that. I agree with that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Okay, he does see a psychiatrist, but he tells her
the same. It's always I'm fine, but I know better.
Any mom worth their salt knows when their child is
not okay, and he is not. Today. He got mad
because I wouldn't let him stay home from school due
to his words spend time with her because I guess
she didn't go to school today. Yeah, I'd be putting

(01:04:46):
a cabash to this. There would be no access to
the internet. I'm unplugging everything. We're going to live by
candlelight and bedtime stories.

Speaker 4 (01:04:53):
Yeah, I'm changing Wi Fi passwords and taking that phone. Yeah,
there's got to be a better way to handle it.
I would talk to his WOU. I was the mom
in this situation. I would talk to the therapist and
I would explain a psychiatrist. I would explain to her
them what's going on, and I would tell them that
I am not comfortable with what's happening. His behavior is changing.
I believe that this is an adult manipulating my child.

(01:05:14):
What can we do or what do you recommend? That
way you have professional guidance versus the two people on
the internet who are not professionals. Because the way that
I would handle this in this situation is that that
would be the right way to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
The moment that he.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
Started isolating, that was little man, I'm taking all that show.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Yeah, and then when.

Speaker 4 (01:05:32):
He gets mad about it, and he gets mad, he
can be mad, and when you're calm, we can have
a discussion about what's going on. And you may not
understand this right now. And I heard this a lot
when I was a kid. I heard a lot from
my stepdad. You may not understand this right now. But
when you grow up, you'll understand, You'll get it. And
he was right as I lived life lessons. All he
was trying to do is keep me safe and protect me,
and I get that. I'm not mad at him for it.
And in a moment, it fucking sucks and I hated his guts,
But I respect that man now and I've talked about

(01:05:55):
that on the podcast a lot. I have a lot
of respect for my stepdad. I just don't that's wild.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
The way the family lives life is going to change. Yeah,
Like we're going to go out of the house more often,
We're going to spend more time together as a family
where we're going to try and talk and process through
all of this. This young man is feeling very very
big emotions right now that he is not capable of
processing on his own.

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
At all at all.

Speaker 4 (01:06:19):
And at fourteen, he thinks he's a man, right, this
is about the time where young men, young boys start
challenging their fathers to find out where they are in
that pecking order. We've talked about that on the podcast too,
and that's going to start happening, especially if he's an
angry young man. The whole lot of people in the
chat talking about how they were in chatrooms and shit
when they were kids. I was alive when chatrooms were invented. Yeah,

(01:06:41):
and I spent a whole lot of time in those chatrooms.
And the things that went on in those chatrooms and
things that were discussed were fucked up. I remember a
time on the internet where you could buy official like
legit swat gear, police uniforms, atf youuld buy all this shit.
You don't have to be a member of anything. Like
you couldn't buy badges. I mean, you could probably still
buy that shit, but it would be very easy to order, well,

(01:07:03):
you know, plate carriers and fucking police badges, velcro and shit,
and like the amount of dirt that we did as
kids because of that shit.

Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
Like I was eleven years old the first time I
sent an appropriate photo of myself to somebody.

Speaker 4 (01:07:13):
Eleven eleven. You shouldn't even have a fucking phone at
eleven years old. When the kids get old enough to
have to have phones, they're getting dumb phones. Oh yeah,
so they can text message and they'll have bark same thing,
bark phones, but there'll be no photo sending. No, Like,
I don't I don't want I don't want any of
that shit. I want a basic ass fucking digital Nokia screen.
You can play snake on that motherfucker and send text

(01:07:35):
message messages.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
That's as far as that needs to go.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
You have a camera to go take pictures.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:07:40):
And the first time a man says, hey, I got
a girlfriend, I'm like, cool, I want to meet their parents?

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
Oh yeah, what Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:07:46):
I want to meet their parents. I want to know
what kind of people you're you're associating yourself with. This
is gonna be a long time girlfriend for you. Here,
here's a great way to manipulate the whole situation. Right,
And it is manipulation because it probably will never happen.
But in a situation where they're kind of long distance,
you could say, I want to meet your parents. I
want to meet the mom. I would like to see her, like,
is she pretty? You know, relate on a love level

(01:08:07):
with your child, like I'm so happy for you. And
then when you go I want to meet the parents,
and you go, why do you want to meet the parents? Like,
because if you ever want to have her come down
here for a vacation or ever want to fly up
and see them, I need to know who you're staying with,
So let's set up a zoom call and all of
us can sit down and have a conversation. Yeah, Yo,
here you go, Nancy. This is my personal cell phone number.
Feel free to call me whenever.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Yeah, he wanted to stay home because she didn't go
to school, and I told him he can't live his
life based around her and her schedule, and that just
made him more mad. I am so out of my
depth and I'm worried. I know, as a woman, I
can't reach my son. How I can't teach my son
how to be a man. So I let my boyfriend

(01:08:50):
try to give that kind of guidance, but it's just
not helping. Please. Any insight you can give will be
greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
He he talks to his therapist. Yeah, you talk, Yeah, Zach said,
I drive up to meet them. PA to North Carolina
is not that far. I mean, that's that's fair too,
That is very fair. Didn't she say that her son
was on the spectrum? Yes, right, so if he has
a hard time. She said that he was bullied in school.
He's always kind of isolated because of it. Violent pass

(01:09:18):
he's been hospitalized. This situation is not healthy, right, No,
But if this was a healthy relationship, Zak is absolutely right.

Speaker 2 (01:09:26):
Driving North Carolina at a PA is only like six hours.
You could do that.

Speaker 4 (01:09:29):
You could go make a weekend out of it, and
you guys could all go to dinner as a family
and get to know each other and like they can
spend actual time hanging out together. That would have been
a beautiful way to handle that shit, but not in
this situation. Yeah, she needs she the mom needs to
talk to the therapist and explain to the therapist everything
that's going on so the therapist knows.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Because the therapist knows.

Speaker 3 (01:09:49):
This kid, right, blows my mind. That hasn't happened already.
I know what he's telling you in therapy as I'm
fine and I'm okay, But this is what we're witnessing
inside of the household, and this is how he's reacting
when he can't have access to her.

Speaker 4 (01:10:03):
Yeah, that's a whole lot of off my radar. Like,
I don't know how to handle that situation. I can
only tell you what I would do in that situation,
and we did, but I would absolutely talk to this
fucking therapist. They're a professional like you in your paying
for it already to sit down and book an appointment
to take up one hour of their time with a
whole fucking note of things that's happening, so that they're
aware of what's going on, and then maybe when their

(01:10:24):
therapy sessions happen, they can give the sun guidance as
to how to deal with things. But I would remove
the Internet and I would take away the bark phone. Yes,
you're talking about you can't make me, and the fuck
I can't. You may be in the relationship where there's
still because you didn't get in an official closure to
the situation, but I can absolutely make you go no
contact because I pay for all this shit. But that

(01:10:46):
also doesn't need to be a ugly situation, you know
what I mean? Like, I can see how that would be.
You want to see, I'll show you that petty mindset,
Like I honestly think that that's probably my response. That's
how I handle that. I think that even though I
know that that's how I handle it, I also know
that it's wrong and the right way would be to

(01:11:06):
be son and protected you. Yes, because I don't believe
that this is safe for you, and I'm doing this
for your best interest.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
And just leave it at that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
They're not going to see it that way though, right, son,
even a non spicy brained person would not see it
that way at fourteen years old, You think you fucking
know everything.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
I am one hundred percent okay with my children hating
me in the moment if it means I'm being a
good parent. Yeah, I'm here to guide you and protect you,
not to be your best friends.

Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
I also would not have letten it gotten this far. No,
the first time, she said, I hurt myself and I'm
depressing all of these kinds of things. I'm taking the phone.
I am texting her, this is SO and So's mother.
I need your parents' contact information. You are no longer
allowed to talk to my son.

Speaker 4 (01:11:43):
Emma said that some therapists won't meet with the parents
doctor of privacy of the child. You're not meeting them
to talk about to get information, You're meeting them to
give them information.

Speaker 3 (01:11:53):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:11:53):
The confidentiality means that they can't speak on it, right.
But I'm almost positive that that when it comes to
the child, he's a minor and they don't have that
same privilege.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
I might be wrong on that, but I don't think
they do.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
It's also they're also allowed to give you pointers, right
and tips. They might not be able to discuss everything
that was talked about within the therapy session. But if
you come to the child's therapists and say, X, Y
and Z is happening inside of the home and I
don't know how to proceed forward, what are some things
that I can do? I can't imagine they're like, can't
talk to you about that. Figure it out on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Your own, right.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
You could also even if they were like that, you
could literally just type up everything and hand them a
piece of paper and walk away. Yeah, now they have
the knowledge that your son's not giving them all. Right,
let's wrap up for this. We don't have to turn
a live off. We'll just mute the mics and put
up a break screen. I would like to stretch because
my back's hurting, and then we can do a Friday
episode and then take a legit break, then go live
and then do two more episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
This was a lot today.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
It was we went longer than an hour for the
first time in a while.

Speaker 3 (01:12:50):
Oh wow, look at that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:52):
With that being said, guys, remember you were the authors
of your own life. So grab a pen and we
will see you on the next one. Bye guys,