Traditional values conversation

Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look up with come all these things, window beautif on the.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Bottom all our world. It is you.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
You're my favorite views. But that's nothing.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome back family, Welcome back beautiful Creatures.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
We are going to be doing a Friday episode today
where we just have a conversation about traditional values, because
we just did a live stream and somebody was like, hey,
what do you know think about finances in a traditional relationship?
And I was like, it's been a while since we've
done with us. We should do it, but you have
some wedding ring conversation that you just brought up before
we went live. I was save that for the live
I do.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
So we were on a bus in Costa Rica. We
had just hit the second waterfall of our first trip,
and I got really emotional.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Was doing about the one where the bridge was where
we're taking pictures of the bridge. Was as if we
didn't do two waterfalls on the first trip. What are
you talking about? No, we told you did. It was
a roadside attraction.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
And I believe in everything harboring energy.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yea.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
I believe that the forest sees everything. Buildings that I've
been standing for hundreds of years hold the history of
everyone who's passed through its doors. And I believe that
wedding rings hold on to everything in a marriage. And
we were sitting on this bus making these amazing memories,

(01:38):
and I was thinking about our marriage and we've had
really dope moments. We've had a lot of not a
lot of we've had tense moments, disruptions, not seeing eye
to eye. And at the end of this, if.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
You pass before I do, my wedding ring's gonna hold
everything that we've ever done together. It's gonna hold the
love that we've shared, the memories that we've made. And
this is something that doesn't leave my body unless I'm
showering or going swimming, so it absorbs all of it.
And then, just in that moment and since then me
thinking about it, I'm just so grateful to be your wife.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
I appreciate that. I'm glad that you said that on
the podcast and not privately because fuck people, just because
it's the hate. Yeah, you know, I don't know. You've
said that to me a lot over the last three weeks.
We have a really crazy life, and like we had

(02:47):
a really dope life before, the podcast podcast has just
made it crazier because we get to travel and do
a whole lot more.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
We're not just traveling, we're traveling with people that share
love and the same goal of just making memories and
living in the moment and growing to become the best
version of themselves.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Or doing the thing that I always wanted to do
so I it's one of those things that you say
and shit like that. It's like the natural thing is
just say you're welcome, you know, I'm glad that you're happy,
that kind of thing. But there's there's a very real
like it hits kind of like saying you're proud of me, right,
because it's one thing to be proud of me. It's

(03:26):
another to say that you're honored to be my wife
or that you're proud to be my wife, because that
means I'm really doing the fucking thing right, because you're
holding a value on that title because of the life
that I've provided and like the way that we live.
It means that I am a good man, right, and
I am doing the thing so that that it's never
taking lightly. It's it's nice to hear, what was it,

(03:51):
Gracie elasaid, this negates all the abusion, all right, So
what are we? What are we doing for traditional relationships?
What what what makes a traditional relationship? I make notes
and we're gonna come back and talk to them. Pink
and blue jobs, I think is a very prevalent part

(04:14):
of that. Pink and blue jobs. What about you? What
will you give me one? And then I'll think of
one and we'll just go down a list. Guys, while
you're in the chat, you can chime in so that
we can absolutely add things to list to talk about,
because we're gonna go through and talk about all of
these one on one.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
You said pink and blue jobs, I did. I suddenly
can't think of anything traditional, Okay. I just think about
the way that we live our life.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
How about finances? Okay, we can we can break the
pink and blue jobs down into detail, because that's going
to be a big conversation because that's a part of it.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
I am the main parent for the children, parenting.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Okay. Looking to see if there's anything else in here,
Jennifer not said so. I will be running straight to
my man because I realized I might not have told
him lately. FYI, we work at the same place. Go tell,
go get him, go tell grab his butt while you're
at it. Yeah, tell him. That's from the to Be
Better podcast, Make it weird, look him in the eye.

(05:22):
That's funny. How a man should serve and how a
woman should serve and what that looks like.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Okay, so service, final decision making for the man.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Final decisions. God, my handwriting is atrocious. Date planning. We'll
just put dates home responsibilities that we can put that
on there. I think that's going to fall into the
pink and blue job conversation though.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Uh I am a forever passenger princess.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Okay, we'll do driving, okay, and cars because there's a
whole ass conversation there as well. Intimacy, his versus her perspective. Okay,
intimacy perspectives. That's a good conversation. Intimacy. All right, let's
start with pink and blue jobs.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Okay, well, hang on, how do you do you want
to go into this? Because you're meant to be the
protector and I'm the healer.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
We can we can add that into service. We have
nine nine topics. I think that this could be I
think this is probably more than enough. All right, So
with pink and blue jobs starting off, Pink and blue
jobs are kind of like more more like housework versus
outside work in a way. Not all pink and blue

(06:50):
jobs are gonna line up. There are gonna be people
out there who find joy in washing dishes or people
who find joy in building decks or whatever it is
that they do, and that doesn't mean you can't do them.
It just means that you are taking on an extra
responsibility if you want to do those things. So for me,
blue jobs are things like cutting the grass, making sure

(07:11):
the cars are maintained, fixing things around the house, making
sure the toilet flesh is properly in the event there's
a toilet clog, you know, unclogging a toilet, fucking that
kind of shit. Things that require actual physical labor, like
strong labor carrying, unloading that kind of shit. That doesn't

(07:32):
mean that I don't ever help out with things around
the house. It means that those are not my normal responsibilities.
And if you need me to jump into those responsibilities,
you have to say something. Otherwise I'm just going to
assume that you've got it. I'm going to go out
my life. Pink jobs, in my opinions, are all of
the housework, and that's really what it comes down to.
Making sure the inside of the house is livable, cook cooking, cleaning, laundry, right, dishes,

(07:59):
all the shit that women have traditionally done through gardening. Millennium,
we'll see gardening could be a universal thing if that's
your passion, right, Like, I'm not really big in a guardian.
Every time I buy something that I want, I'm like, hey,
grow this. Because you have a green thumb. I can
kill an alow plant, like, which says a fucking lot
because those things are like weeds.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah. So this is like the first time in three
months our alo plants have been watered.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, and they're thriving.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, they're doing great. So it's my love that's keeping
them alone.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah. Our mango tree is fruiting for the first time
in like six years.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
We plucked them today. We had five, six, seven, seven
of them make it. There's still one more on the
tree and it's high enough that whatever's eating them can't
get to it.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah. Whatever has been eating them has been fucking wrecking
our tree.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, we lost four of them.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
So what do you add on pink jobs? What like,
what kind of details do you have for that? Because
I also view things which we'll get into with the
car maintenance because that's driving in cars as part of this.
So the part of the blue jobs is car things.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Any bugs in the household you deal with, yes, any critters,
anything with more than four legs, I don't, I don't
look at Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
I also think that it's our responsibility to make sure
that the house is safe, doors are locked, you know,
the final check of the the domain is taken care
of your bed before bed right, There's that's part of it.
Making sure that the bills are paid. We'll get into finances.
That's also a blue job. I believe it's my responsibility
to make sure that we have everything that we need

(09:36):
for the house. This is the argument of I get
it to the house, you get it to the table.
And that's that's the way that I view the blue
and pink jobs. And I know that people get very
hung up because you know, women don't belong in the
kitchen anymore. We can be in the workforce, sure you can,
and they just don't want to. Right. And in some
cases you are in the workforce and so is he.
It doesn't mean that you still can't have blue and

(09:57):
pink jobs. Yeah, it's playing to strength. If you were
a blue collar worker by trade and You're out there
doing trade work and I'm sitting in an office cubicle
all day. And I'm not a hardcore dude. And you
wanted to do all the blue jobs and I did
all the pink jobs. As long as it was getting done,
that's what matters. But I do think that that labor

(10:19):
being divided like that works.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
So this is also just for our household. My husband's
in charge of the TV. I don't want to think
about what we're watching.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yeah, yeah, we we We have had many nights where
I'm like, just give me the fucking controller, because you know,
you'll put something on and not skip or like hit
the view next, or like the intro will play and
like one of us won't get it, or I'll be
on my phone. You like, you can hit the button.
You can hit the button. Come on, you get hit
the button. Yeah that's funny.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
I do the decorating of the household for holidays. Yeah,
that's part of my pink jobs. It would do the decoration.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Period, Yeah, it wouldn't get done otherwise. Yeah. I don't
mind like setting things up, but I don't want to
decorate the house. I don't give a shit about any
of that. So like Christmas and Halloween and all the
you know things where we're hanging stuff up that is
absolutely you thing, and like I'll help you with it
if you ask me to. You know, I'll get the
tree out of the addict or whatever and out of
the garage, bring in the ornaments all that stuff. But like,

(11:19):
I don't care about any of this, and that's that's
something that we had a discussion on very early on.
That doesn't have to be a pink or blue job thing.
That's just the way that we are because I don't
care about holidays.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah, I decorate for Christmas.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
By decorating, I mean we put up a tree.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, you also, I mean when it comes to decorating,
I mean ask pretty much everything. You know. Granted, we
have a whole lot of stuff that is just there.
We need to really purge and get rid of a
lot of shit and start over. But we don't have
a whole lot of stuff hung up either. It's just
pictures and that we've taken in pictures of us all
over the house. And now there's tapestries because we got it.

(11:57):
We started buying tapestries. But you know, when we build
out that man cave, it's going to be a here's
the furniture I want, Here's where I think the tapestry
should go. Now do your thing. But it last night
when I brought a shit home, I put my bookshelf
together the way I want my bookshelf piece to look
and the rest of it. I was like, have about it.
Do your thing, because you have an eye for that

(12:17):
that I don't have. That absolutely makes sense. Yeah, I
don't think I've got anything else on pink jobs and
blue jobs. I do want to just touch before we
move on from that, that even if you're not a
stay at home having the pink job and blue job,
things still work as long as people adhere to the

(12:40):
expectations of what needs to get done. And like we
said really early on in the podcast, if you have
somebody that doesn't like doing dishes and the other person
doesn't mind, that expectation listen needs to be laid out
early on when you move in together. These are the
things that I'm responsible for. These are the things that
you're responsible for. That way, and put it in writing
stick of the fridge if you need to. There's not

(13:02):
there's not ever a well I thought that was your job. No,
I thought that was your job, and now there's a
fight because neither one of you want to do it.
And then I expectation, clearly defined expectations, yep. And then
as things evolve and new things get added, you just
have to write them down.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
But I also want to touch on before we move on.
So cooking for me is a pink job. And with cooking,
I believe that falls in with nutrition and it's my
job to make sure that the family's eating healthily.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Right, I agree with that healthily healthy, being healthy.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
That doesn't sound right. Okay, let's just move on because
the movie stuck on.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Okay, okay, moving on to finances. Finance is a big
discussion because everybody thinks that if you're having a traditional
relationship or marriage, that you should just not be working
as a woman, and is solely my responsibility to make
sure that we have everything that we need. In an
ideal situation, that would be the case, Like if I
could handle the podcast and people would still watch it

(13:58):
and we could do the life that we're and you
could dip out and then like I could still make
this shit work, that would be great. The reality is
that you're half of this and that's not a possibility, so,
but it is not on you to have to deal
with any of the stress of our bills whatsoever. That's
my responsibility I handle. I pay your credit cards off
because you have your own credit cards that get paid.

(14:21):
I handle all of our mortgage, car payments and everything
like that, handle our iras. Everything that comes through financially
is a me problem. If you are somebody that has
separate bank accounts, I view that as problematic in a
traditional marriage. I think that even if you know both
of you have jobs, one person should handle all of

(14:41):
it because it removes a load of stress from one
half of the equation. Now, I do believe that they
should have access to everything. There should be no hidden accounts,
oh yeah, all credit card information. Everybody should be able
to see everything that's going on, so there's not any
type of insecurities, worry or abuse, financial abuse, misleading, anything

(15:03):
like that. Everybody will be on the same page of
how much is going in and coming out. And I
think the financial conversations have to happen weekly or every
time something gets done. I made a huge truck payment yesterday.
I was like, okay, I made this payment, this is
how much we have left you know, we're like seventy
percent done on this vehicle. Blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
I receive screenshots of payments. Yeah, I couldn't tell you
how much my car payment is, but I know how
much it's paid off.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yeah, because that's that's that's the goal, right, Like, you
shouldn't have to worry about the stress of it. That's
my job is to stress. Your job is to bralic.
That's exactly where I was going with that. Now, when
it comes to the working aspect and you paying for
their life, if you have the ability to retire your woman,

(15:50):
that is a huge fucking flex Being able to retire
your woman and having a woman worth retiring is two
very different discussion. I don't think that men should just
get into a relationship and have their women quit working
and start supporting their asset. I don't think that. I
don't think that's fair to the woman to expect I
don't think it's fair for the man to be expected

(16:10):
to do that. And I think that that is something
that comes over time and a whole lot of conversations
to make sure that you have.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
The right person for that and worthiness of it.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Right, there needs to be discussions about self care social interactions.
For the wife that's doing the stay at home thing,
even if she has kids, there needs to be an
opportunity for her to go out and do things. And
we'll get into the parenting aspect of it in a minute,
because that's relevant to all of this. But I think
that that is I think finance is unique. I think
that when it comes down to it, every person's financial

(16:41):
situation is going to look different. Somebody actually said on
TikTok the other day because we were having a conversation,
it was the episode we did where the woman was
dating a guy in the military who was making it
so she could not charge the card until he moved
the money from the account while she's in the line
at the grocery store. Yeah, I actually think that episode
drops Monday this Monday. But there was somebody in the

(17:03):
TikTok who was like, that's abuse, and then this chick
was like, I'm sorry. The per first person was like,
I only get fifty dollars a week in allowance, and
the chick was like, that's bullshit, it's abuse. You should
leave him. And I'm like, how can you say that
that's abuse if this person makes four thousand dollars a month,
their rent is two thousand, they've got two car payments, insurance,

(17:24):
cell phone bills, and kids. That fifty dollars could be
all that's left. And that's assuming that they have a
savings account, right, So for you to jump in and
say that that fifty dollars is abuse and you should
leave that man.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
If that's all he has left.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
Right right? What if he's missing lunches and eating leftovers
every night so that she can have that fifty bucks.
So instead of jumping into the fucking comment section and
spewing your nonsense, why don't you shut the fuck up
and let people live their lives. That there's a whole
lot of shaming that goes into that you don't know
the situation, So maybe ask like, are you guys struggling
financially and if so, maybe give some ideas of what

(18:02):
you guys could do as a side hustle to make
more money so she has more than fifty bucks a
week instead of saying that she should leave him. Zach
said that episode is indeed this Monday, which will have
been way past the point when you guys watched this episode,
because this is being recorded on June fourth, so anything
on finances.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
I do have something on finances, so I have an allowance, right,
And that's a very loosely used word. If I am
going to go plant shopping and my husband gives me
four hundred dollars, I'm not trying to spend all four
hundred dollars, right.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
That's why I'm comfortable giving you four hundred dollars, because
you don't spend it like that all the time. There's
almost always a bring home.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yes. When we were in Costa Rica, me and a
couple of other ladies, one gentleman to join us. We
end up going back a little bit earlier. We we
watched San Jose for the day, We hit a couple
of little shops, and then we ended up at the
Jade Museum. You gave me three hundred dollars for the day.
I spent half of it.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
You spent less than half.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
I wanted to spend it, right, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Right, Okay, So here's here's the reality of that. And
when I give you that kind of money to go
do an outing, Yeah, if you did spend it all,
it's not the end of the world. If you found
something you absolutely had to have and you wanted to
blow all that money off. I don't care. I gave
it to you to spend. But knowing that I can
give you a large sum of money to go shopping
and do whatever you want to do for playtime, and
knowing that there's going to be money coming back allows

(19:34):
me to be like that because in my head there's
a running total. It's not I have no idea what
the running total is, but I know that if I
handed you one thousand dollars, you're not spending the full
thousand bucks, and I view that as your next time
I have more extra. Right, it rolls over right, Its exactly.
It's like paid time off.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, we're rolling it over right.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
But in my head that's one of those things too
that I know that if you ever did spend that shit,
you're gonna be happy as fuck like I because you
don't do that. I just had to have this thing.
Well fucking hell yeah, baby, I'm glad you got it right.
That's where my head is with that, and.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
There's also a trust in that.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
Right.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
It feels good to know that you know, you say,
I can spend five hundred dollars and I'm not going
to come back home and be like, I spent eight.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Right, Well, that was a very real concern for me. Yeah,
because I've had people in my life where that's been
the thing, you know, And for people who are on
a budget, that kind of shit can fuck up your
entire life.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Maybe might not be able to pay rent next month
because of that.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Right, And for a man whose responsibility is the finances
to have that happen and then the woman be like, well,
you'll take care of it. You always do, Like that's
that's abuse in a way.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
That's how the team work dynamic happens with the finances.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
Because there's trust.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, Rachel said, how would I ask to compare finances
without my boyfriend getting defensive every time I ask anything
money related? He gets uptight. Been together four years and
don't even know what he gets paid. That would be
a problem for me, Right, So let's talk about what's
really going on here, right, not the finances. Let's break
down everything else. You've been together for four years. You

(21:08):
can't have a conversation about finances. You don't know what
he makes you guys are on a team and he's
your boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
I wouldn't feel secure in that relationship, right.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
There's a whole lot of what's really being said in
situations like this. So in this situation where you bring
up finances, like how much do you make an hour?
What does our finances look like moving forward? I'm assuming
you live together at four years, I'm assuming you live together.
But if that's the case, how can you guys live
together and not know the security of the future. How

(21:40):
are you going to buy a house together one day?
Do you know what his credit score is? Like? All
of these things speaks to a lack of permanence in
my opinion, right, because you're living under one roof but
not living as one flesh.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
And secrecy too.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Right, there's a whole lot of exit strategy in my
head where people be like, well, I'm stacking all this
money and doing my thing because I can fucking dip
about any time. Yeah, right, there's no I don't know,
there's a lot there. She then said, he stopped contributing
to our savings before Christmas and hasn't since. I've asked
three times in therapy, and we do live together. This

(22:16):
this sounds like a situation where you don't really need
to be there, especially if he's not adding to your
savings because at this point, it's our savings and he's
not adding to it. She means he has access to
your money and you have no idea what's going on
with his. That's a problem that you know. That's where
a whole lot of things can can really fall apart.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
My mind would go to extremes like do you have
a secret family you don't want me to know about?

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Right?

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Are you entertaining other women? Are you staying in hotels?
Or you're buying lavish gifts for someone else that you
don't want me to see.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
OnlyFans, born addictions. There's a whole lot of things that
come in.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yep, that would be a no go for me.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
She said, it's my apartment and he moved in with me.
That's an even bigger problem because now you're floating the
bill for his life anything else on finances. Before we
move on to parenting, No, okay, this is a big one.
Parenting is a big topic, especially when there's a stay
at home mom involved stay at home person. Even for
that matter, if you have somebody that's working all day

(23:16):
and comes home and they've been in a stressful outdoor
environment or out of the house environment and they come
home all they want to do is relax. The other
side of that coin is somebody's been in the house
all day with fucking screaming kids. And let's be honest,
no matter what how well behaved your kids are, there's
going to be days where your kids are too fucking
much for you and all you want to do is
be able to decompress. So at the end of the day,

(23:37):
one person's going, I can't wait to get home so
I can decompress, and the other person's going, I can't
wait for them to get home so I can decompress.
There needs to be a decompression time for both people
at the end of a workday. The person who works
outside of the house still needs to be involved with
raising the children. Yes, parenting is just that you're not
a babysitter. You're a parent, So having you know, homework

(24:01):
scheduled while while mom cooks, maybe dad helps with homework,
or maybe he takes them outside to play in the
yard while mom is taking a bath. Right, there's still
ways that dad or the mom if she works outside
of the home, can be present in their child's life
in a meaningful way. Because if your kid grows up

(24:24):
and the only interactions that they have with you, is
you being a dick coming home from work and then
playing video games and ignoring your family all fucking night.
There's not going to be a connection to your kids there.
Your kids are going to grow up and resent you
because you spend no time with them. So that the
parenting aspect is big, because we get emails all the
time about all he does is come home from work
and drinks, or all he does is come home and

(24:46):
sits on the couch and scrolls or plays video games.
He gets mad when I hand the kid off. I
hate that phrase. I hand the kid off. You don't
hand your kid off. You say, hey, babe, I'm glad
you're home. Are you decompressed? I would like to take
a bath. You mind taking you know, maybe go out
to the park or take the kids somewhere for a
little while and get some ice cream. Just give me

(25:06):
a little bit of peace and quiet, and then I'll
come back in take over, and we'll fucking do the
family thing for the rest of the night. We can
I'll make dinner, we can watch a movie, we'll put
them in bed. Like there's all of that. Now, when
it comes to the main parent, you are the main parent,
and even if the kids were biologically my kids, you
would still be the main parent. Yes, story time at

(25:28):
night is your gimmick. Like I would probably read to
them if you weren't there, Like if you were like, hey,
I'm going to go out tonight, can you read to
the kids? Absolutely, But if that was not a thing,
I would want the kids to read to themselves because
I want them to learn to read and be articulate.
There's a bonding thing that I see between you and
the kids when you read to them every night, and
like they get the fall asleep listening to your voice.

(25:49):
The kids are very attached to you because you have
facilitated an environment where they can do that. I'm not
a couch I'm not a pillow, right, Like, I don't
cuddle on the couch with the kids. And it's not, uh,
it's not all the time. Little miss has absolutely laid
on me while we've watched TV. But it's not a

(26:09):
go to thing. If all of us are in the
living room, they are fucking stuck to you like a
magnet and I'm sprawled out on the other side of
the couch and I'm totally fine with that. My foot
right the same thing with the dogs. So when the
dogs get on the couch, they lay with you. I
don't want them fucking laying on me. But that's me.
So do you want to talk about the main parenting
aspect and how that falls on you.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yes, I I am also an authority figure to the children.
I have not always been that way. I was a
single mom for a bit when I left my ex husband.
I was in this limbo for years and I dated people,

(26:49):
but I was that parent who I'm gonna count the
three or I'm gonna repeat myself until you finally listen.
And now I've gotten to the point where i'll say
it one time the children don't listen, I'll be like, eyeballs,
look at my eyes, what did I just say to you?
I'm not repeating myself. If you didn't hear it, try

(27:09):
to figure out what I said. You should have been
paying attention, right. I will also do this thing where
I'll look at the kids and I'll say, we'll be
in in the middle of something. They argue, there at
thought that age where she looked at me, mommy right,
And they'll think it's cute or funny, or they're doing

(27:30):
something they know they shouldn't be doing but they think
that it's goofy. In the moment, I'll be like, look
at me. Do I look like I'm laughing right now? No,
then you shouldn't be doing what you're doing. I'm also
trying to This is kind of like a sidebar, but
I'm also trying to teach the children to pay attention
to my tone of voice, look at my body language.
You would know if what you were doing is okay

(27:53):
or not based on how I talk to you, the
way that I'm responding with my bodily behavior, all those
kinds of things. But I think, as being the primary parent,
those are important lessons to teach your children. If you're
going to be the primary parent, you can't be a pushover.
I have seen so many moms say, well, they act
right when dad gets home because you're not a parent.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
To them, that's the authority, right.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
They know they can get away with things with you
because you're either parenting out of guilt or you don't
want to traumatize them the way that you were traumatized
in childhood. All those kinds of things and being the
primary parent has been a very rocky road for me.
Now it's very smooth. I very rarely raise my voice anymore.

(28:41):
Raise my voice this morning because the kids were doing
something and you shouldn't be doing because both adults were
out of the room.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
You were also on the other side of the house. Yeah,
you had to yell for them to hear you.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, the.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Primary parent thing and doing all of that, Like, I
still will step in when I need to, but it's
not It's not my place to do that all the time.
If you're handling, there's no reason for me to get involved.
I also am a lot more stern when I talk
to the kids, and having that there's a fear that
they're gonna view Pops as an asshole because I am
stern when I talk to them. It's a no bullshit

(29:16):
policy with me. There's also a difference between having that
and not playing with them and just being a fuck
face to them all the time. And I'm not that
I play with them all the time, but when I'm
having a conversation with them, I'm not baby talking or
making fucking moronic sounds and doing that kind of shit.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Like we're having our children know very big words.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
We're having an adult conversation because I want them to
grow up and be articulate. The other thing that I
wanted to touch on with the parenting is the dad
being the authority figure. When that happens, you.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Make that the villain, right, He's the bad guy, So
when they grow up.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
He's the bad guy. And it'll make it so that
as they become adults, they may not be as connected
to dad as they should be because both parents are
not involved and making sure the kids are well adjusted.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
So I also want to touch on there are times,
so majority of the time I will handle disciplining, planning, eldings,
all those kinds of things. There I still get to
points where I walk up to you. I'm like, I'm
about to lose my fucking mind, Like I'm talking through
my teeth. I want to yell at these kids. I
want to throw things. I need you to step in

(30:20):
so I can go take a breather so I don't
lose it. Right, and you step in. You are much
calmer than I am, so you can handle the situation
far better than I could. When I'm elevated to that point,
and it's not a quick elevation, it's been an all day.
These children are not listening, They're they're running around the house, parkouring, climbing,
things like monkeys, arguing, fighting, having attitude with me, and

(30:45):
now I'm at my breaking point at six o'clock at night.
It's teamwork, right, And you also don't get shitty about it. No,
you don't want to see me that way. And we've
had multiple conversations where you've said, I become irritated because
I can tell you're irritated by the children, yep. And
we've had to practice that separation because I've also gotten
to I can tell something's going on with you because

(31:08):
of the kids. And then I start to become elevated
because I know you're not okay, children are acting up yeap,
And I am no longer just myself. I am co
mingled in this amiba of chaos that has become the household.
And that separation is also important. If both parents are elevated,
nothing calm is going to happen in that situation.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
I agree. I agree, And it's good to have that
calm parent there because when you start to become emotionally elevated,
it's hard to remember that you're dealing with a child.
Yeah right. I also want to point out that we're
talking about a six and seven year old. Yeah, when
the kids are thirteen and fourteen years old, the conversation
will be very different about who's doing what because there's

(31:51):
be a whole lot of shit going on with little
man that you're not able to deal with. That I'm
going to have to step in and deal with.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, And I grew up in an old lady household,
so I don't even I can't even fathom.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
Right, Well, at fourteen thirteen, fourteen years old, he's becoming
a man, right. I know that society says otherwise, he's
not a man until he turns eighteen. But with rites
of passage and the way that we are raising our kids,
at thirteen fourteen years old, he should be established enough
that he should be able to take care of himself
and do things. So the conversations with him will look
very different than they do at six and seven years old,

(32:20):
because in my eyes, he's still very immature. He's a child, child,
child still.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
But he's still a baby to me, Like I don't
treat him like he's a baby in diapers, but he
still is, like you said, very young, very imaginative, doesn't
understand the world for what it is. Everything is sunshine,
and rainbows.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
So as that evolves, as he's growing up, the roles
between parents will change, and though you will still be
primary parent, there'll be a whole lot of things that
I will have to step in and deal with or
his dad will that will not involve you whatsoever, you
know what I mean. And I think that it's important
to recognize that the age of the children matters when
it comes to setting up your parentantine in the way

(33:00):
that you handle things.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
I hate that, but we've seen it through civilizations throughout history. Yeah,
bart and boys were taken away at the age of
eight yep to be trained to become men. That change
does have to happen. I'm glad that's not a thing.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
I wish it was a thing.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Not to that extent. Well, I don't want my son
being prepared for war at the age of eight, right,
you know. But I think that rights of patches passes
need to be a thing, and rituals and earnings of
things like you've talked about taking him camping and giving
him something on that camping trip to signify the importance
of the things that he's learning, right, and the steps

(33:42):
that he's taking to transition from being a young boy
to a young man.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
Yeah, at eight years old, your kids should know how
to cook. Yeah, you know what I mean. There's survival
things that they need to know how to do. That's
basic life shit. Most kids at thirteen, fourteen years old
now still can't cook. Like there's a whole well, I mean,
living in a city especially, there's a whole lot of
parents out there that don't want their kids doing shit
because they don't want their tupware getting fucked up, you
know what I mean. But I do think that there's

(34:06):
an absolute right of passage that still needs to happen.
I don't think it needs to be as extreme as
getting ready for war, but at eight years old, things
need to start happening. Yeah, you know, there's just a
whole lot that goes into all of that.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
And talking at six and seven years old, our kids
know how to use an airfyer, they know how to
use the stove, they know how to use the oven.
They use their little step stole to move around the
kitchen independently to get themselves drinks and make cereals and
all those kinds of things they know how to. I
bought them a child safe knife set, so they're helping

(34:38):
me chop veggies and meats and preparing dinners and life.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Shit.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
They're growing up and I hate it. I love it.
It's a beautiful thing, but it breaks my heart because
they won't need me.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, well, they shouldn't need you. They should want you,
you know. So let's move on to the next topic.
Is service, what it means to serve versus him and her.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
I'm not picking fights for you, right, You're the protector
of the family, and your service of me looks like
move to my left. Yeah, and my service back to
that is doing it without question.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Well, that definitely speaks to the protection aspect, because you
can't protect somebody that's fighting you while you're trying to
protect them because you're fighting to a war on two
fronts at that point, Like, that's that's definitely problematic. Service
to me is babe, I have a flat tire. I'll
be there in five minutes. Right, that's service because I'm
giving up everything of my day and everything i'm doing
stopping to come and rescue you for something that you

(35:41):
could totally fucking do yourself, or to call a triple
A right, because we have roadside assistants on somebody could
come do this shit just in case I'm not capable.
But that shouldn't Ooh, my triceps are.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Store mine too.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
For the first time in a while, my chest is not.
My triceps are.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah. I went to go take off my shirt last
night for bedtime to put on my night gown and
I got stopped here and I was like, oh my god,
am I gonna have to call my husband? And I
was like, no, I can do this. I'm like, I
started shimmying and I was like, oh God, even that hurts.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
But so that's a service aspect. Service sometimes looks like
stopping to get you wah wah on the way home,
even though it's on the other side of the street
in the opposite direction and I have to make two
fucking u turns to get there, right, Yeah, Like, there's
a whole lot of just trying to make sure that
your partner has everything that they need. And that's what
service looks like. And that doesn't really break down to

(36:34):
a gender specific thing to me, right, you know, it
comes down to just making sure that if I need you,
you're there, and if you need me, you're there. Like,
however that was supposed to be worded, you got the point.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Service looks like cleaning up after each other.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Right, you want to touch on my job to protect
and your job to heal, because that was your bit
of this.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
So, just by nature, men are going to be built
physically stronger unless women take a bunch of drugs, spend
hours in the gym daily and build up those kinds
of muscles. You and I can go to the gym
same amount of time, I will never be able to
lift the same amount of weight that you can.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Nope, different.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
Right, women are harbingers of life in more than one way.
We create life within our bodies. I believe that our
laughter carries magic with it. We light up rooms when
we walk into them. At the end of the day.
When you've been fighting war after war after war and

(37:37):
you come home to me, I believe that I'm a
safe place for you to land and to lick your wounds,
to be able to heal yourself. And you doing that
for me looks very different than it looks for me
doing it for you, And I'm able to protect you
in ways that like outside of strength, like mental fortitude,

(38:00):
giving you encouragement, not letting you talk shit about yourself.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
You know, we used to win tribal communities, we always
have a medicine man or a medicine woman. Right. You
had your shaman or whatever you want to call it,
and we had a dedicated person that was part of
our tribe that would heal people. As we broke off
and moved away from that, women took that role and
learned about plant medicine and making tinctures and doing all
the things because that was part of the housework. So

(38:30):
when somebody's not feeling well in the house, you're the
one that takes care of it. That's part of that,
that's part of the healing aspect, and that is part
of your role. In terms of a traditional marriage. It's
not my duty to do that. Should I know how
to do that? Absolutely? Is it my space to do that. No,
it's your job, right, And that speaks to making sure
the kids have everything they need as well, you know

(38:51):
what I mean. And that doesn't mean that you have
to make every fucking tincture in your house. But if
kids have diarrhea, there should be a modium there, right,
That's not something I should have to think about. If
I got food poisoning electrolytes, Babe Worth, the electrolytes third cabinet,
you know, blah blah blah blah blah, so that I
can just go get that. That's part of that. So
I definitely think that it's important to recognize that we
do have very big roles in the service aspect of

(39:13):
protecting and healing, and that healing can actually look like
a physical aspect as well, and that could look like
stretching me sometimes too. You know, we're digging your elbow
into my siatic nerves. Try to get that not to release.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Like. I also want to touch on that food as medicine.
It is so if you're feeding your family ravioli.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Or McDonald's five nights a week because it's right across
the street and it's faster than cooking.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Yeah, you are not the healer of your family. You're poisoning.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
Technically, you are poisoning them. Yeah. Yeah. Final decisions is
the next topic. This is one that pisss off a
lot of fucking people.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah. I want to touch on I do have final
decision making in certain aspects of our life, like what
dinner outings with the children most of the time, date nights, vacations,
Where do you want to go? I want to go
to Bali you'll make it happen.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
Yeah, So on the vacation in date nights, that's not
really a final decision thing. That is me wanting to
make sure that I'm able to make you happy. Yeah,
because if you were like, we're going to go watch
a burlesque show, I know you would never do that
because we don't do that. But if that was the
thing and I'm like I'm not comfortable doing that, I'm
not doing that, we would not do that. So that

(40:36):
in that aspect, there's not really a final decision. There
is a want for me to make sure that you
have your cup filled and self care and love and
all of the things that you get when we go
out on dates, because I can get that on the couch, right.
So like when we do a lot of those things,
it is more for you than it is for me.
So where do you want to eat when we go

(40:57):
to on dates? You know, what do you want to
do for?

Speaker 2 (41:00):
It?

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Absolutely is more about you than me. But I don't
think that you get final say.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
In those Yeah, just those two things.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
I will say that I concede to you on those
things ninety nine point nine percent of the times just
because I want to make you happy.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Well, I'm also not doing off the wall shit, right, Like,
I'm not choosing things that you can't physically do and
are watching from the sidelines.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Right, Well, that speaks to our team and you wanting
to make sure that I'm enjoying myself on our dates
as well. Right, that speaks the trust of the money
that we were speaking on earlier, And that's fucking important.
If you know, you know, my back's fucked up. If
you're like, let's go rock climbing, yeah, I mean I'll
watch you rock climb indoors where there's air conditioning, so

(41:44):
I'm not standing in the fucking sun while you do it.
But I can't do that with my back the way
that it is. You're not trying to do that shit.
You're not trying to put me in a position where
I'm uncomfortable or hurting. So that speaks to a place
of love and understanding.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I also have final decision making when it comes to
the children. Yeah, everything gets run by me when it
comes to the childre.

Speaker 3 (42:03):
That would be the case even if they were my kids,
like biologically that would be the case.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
It's because I'm the main parent, right And now transition
to the conversation to you having final decision making in life.
You have proven yourself to be a man who is
worthy of having that and that's not a fun job
to have.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
No, No, it sucks because if something goes wrong, I
have no one to point the finger out. But me
and people especially on the Internet don't get that. They
think it's about control, and it's not about control. It's
about making sure that you have the life that I
want you to have. And if you're in a good marriage,
your husband wants you to have the world. So I
will do everything that I can to make sure that

(42:43):
that's a thing. Sometimes it's not going to work, but
I have not made decisions that have really fucked us either,
you know what I mean. I'm not doing things out
of selfishness. I'm doing things to better our standing in
our positions. And like I'm not, I want to do
really stupid shit all the time. All the time, I

(43:04):
have to dial that shit back because there's a family
there that I have to make sure has what they need.
And again, that does speak to the quality of the man.
Some men aren't meant to be leaders, and for a
woman who wants to submit and allow her man to
lead and make final decisions. You have to find a
man that can do that, or you're gonna up living
in your mom's basement or his mom's basement. Right, Like,

(43:25):
there's a whole lot of fucking men out there. Who
are you? Did you hear the sorry I just called you, dude?
Did you hear that? There is a new phrase going
around called stay at home sons. I'm not kidding. I
heard this yesterday. It was actually a topic on one
of the news networks. It showed up on my YouTube channel.

(43:47):
There is a new movement of women who thinks it's
fucking cute to have stay at home sons because their
sons are forty years old and living in their house
and have no aspirations.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
That's disgusting.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
It is fucking disgusting.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
That's disgusting, and that is sad. Weak times, Oh, what
is it? Easy times create weak men.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Yeah, weak men create hard times. Hard times create strong men.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
I can't stand women sometimes. How selfish? Yeah, you need
somebody rely on you so much that you are willing
to sacrifice your son's life to fill your cup.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
Yeah, well, and that might not always be the case.
There could be sons out there that just don't want
to do anything because I didn't ask to be born.
You should have to take care of me. We've heard
that argument too. The reality of it is, this is
your life and you can either choose to live it
or not, but you're not going to do it here. Yeah, right,
like that that's the thing for me.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
And if women stop dating men like that and started
looking for quality men and stop sacrificing their life and
their body to men who aren't worthy of it, that
shit would change.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah. I thought about that too. You know, I've had
conversations with our seven year old son. If you want
a wife, you're not going to behave this way? Right,
you want to be married one day, You're not going
to be this way. That just absolutely blows my mind
that that's a movement.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Yeah, so here's here's the thought. Because of what you
just said, we've actually had people say that it's weird
that our six and seven year olds are focusing on
marriage and that we have those conversations with them.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Are you serious?

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Do you think that's weird?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
No?

Speaker 3 (45:17):
I don't either. I don't either.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Well, what are what else are we supposed to tell
the children when they ask us why do Mommy and
pops do that, right, Why do you guys do that
for each other because we're married.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Yeah. Every Disney movie made up until the Woke Ones recently.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Is about marriage.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
Is about marriage. It's the princes, the prince saving the
princess and and you know, the fucking chivalrous night playing
dragons and doing all of the things, waking up, sleeping
beauty and like your one true love. That's all marketed
to kids. So why is it fucking weird all of
a sudden that we're trying to prepare our children to
be good human beings for their partner one day, Because

(45:55):
their childhood is a very small percentage of their life
and we want them to be children. But we are
trying to prepare them. It's no different than teaching them
life skills. Shit blows my mind.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Yeah, I have conversations like that with my children because
I grew up in a household where those conversations weren't
a thing, and I got myself into abusive relationships. I
got myself into situations where I didn't know how I
was going to get out of it. Yeah right, I
was a piece of shit woman to the men I
was with because those conversations were not had.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
So back to the final decision making thing real quick.
I just want to point out that heavy, as the
head that wears the crown situation, my duty is to
make sure that everything in our house is taken care
of in terms of finances, in terms of safety, protection, vacations,
vehicle maintenance, making sure that your breaks are good. Really, dude,

(46:46):
all of that shit falls on my shoulders, and in
the event that something goes wrong, it does fall to me.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
I also want to touch on before we transition. You
don't make decisions without talking to me about it.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
No, that was where my next thing? That was where
that almost going.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
Yeah, there are always conversations that happen, and it's multiple conversations,
and you ask me for my opinions on things. My
opinions and my words matter to you. I matter to you.
If a woman is with a man who doesn't care
about you, I can see why this would be a problem.
I am not waking up three weeks from now and

(47:20):
finding out you spent ten thousand dollars on an investment
and hoping that it works out for the better.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Are savings right?

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Right? You also have foresight. You're not making a rash decision,
not thinking about how it's going to impact our finances
in the next six months. You're not willing to blow
our mortgage money on gambling, right, I wrote in.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
No One's Coming to save You, I actually talked about
leadership a little bit, and I had talked about being
able to lead based off data. And if you don't
get information from everyone in your household, you can't make
an informed decision. You were acting out of selfishness and
ego at that point, and that is a recipe for disaster.
If you and I are on different sides of the
fence and you give me all the things that you

(48:06):
think is going to go wrong, and I go, yeah,
it's not gonna go wrong. I got this, shut the
fuck up, and I go about my life. What I
was saying was is if you give me all the
information of all the negative things that are going on,
and I'm like, I got this, don't worry about it,
and I shut you down, and I go do something
and we fail because of it. That's a problem. Now.
If you lay out all your options and it takes
me three weeks to make a decision because I've been
weighing everything and I really feel like the best decision

(48:28):
was my way. That's not me shitting on you and
shutting you down. That's me processing the information that you
gave me, weighing all of our options, doing a little
bit of research to see if I'm right or you're right,
or what the right answer or situation may be, and
then moving forward from there. That's leadership. Leadership's not being
a dictator or a tyrant or bossing people around.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
I agree, I don't have anything else on that one?

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Okay, dates?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
How many more things do we have on the list?

Speaker 3 (48:57):
Dates? Home, responsibilities, driving in cars? And then intimacy perspectives.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
So it's been almost an hour.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Do you want to make a part two of this
another time?

Speaker 3 (49:07):
I would like to just bank through this. We're not
be going live again for a while.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
This is it, So I let you know I want
to go on dates. Hey babe, I want to have
date night this week and be like, okay, let me
figure it out and then you'll give me a short
list of do you want to do this, this or this,
and I'll pick it and then you drive me there.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Right. So in that situation, we have the ability to
have a conversation, allow me to make the final decision
and then we both get to do something we enjoy
because you told me you wanted to do a date night,
and now I have to find things to do, or
you go, hey, I found this park I want to
go to. Let's do a date day and we go
do that. I don't think that it's one person's responsibility

(49:48):
to plan dates. I do think dates are something that
should happen, But I think that when dates need to happen,
it's because somebody's got something they're lacking, and those are
the people who need to try to figure the date out.
If you're just like I want to spend quality time
with you, let's do something that's very different than going
I need a date night. I want to go to
the opera. I want to go watch Wicked.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
I want to go to right Yeah, right, Their pasta
is so good.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
But there's times where that's on the menu for you,
and you're very specific, like what's playing at Cinebistro right now.
I know you're obviously wanting to go to the movies
and need to look at the dates right and see
what's playing. But I think that that's what it comes
down to a dates. I don't think that that's a
pink job or a blue job thing. I think that
communication needs to be had about what's being needed and
how can we meet those needs for each other and

(50:36):
make it an enjoyable experience. I also think that dates
speak to reconnecting and if you feel disconnected from your person,
date nights need to happen to reconnect. And I think
that dates are one of those things that should be
without technology or with technology, if that's what you guys
are doing, Like if you're going laser tag, there's technology involved,
but you know, cell phone should not be a priority

(50:56):
at the dinner table if you guys are on a
date night.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
I'm all, I am very good at clearly defining what
I want to do. I want to go to the beach.
I want to go to a botanical garden. I want
to go to Tennessee for a week.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Yeah. Well that that allows me to serve you, right.
It allows me to be your superhero because you gave
me a need or a request and allowed me to
fill that request. So like, I'm winning. And even if
it was your idea, it doesn't fucking matter because I'm
the one that was able to you know, book the
tickets or take you there or whatever the case may be,
and then we could spend time doing the thing that
you wanted to do.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
So I don't have anything else on me either.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Home responsibilities. I'm going to skip that one drink and
blue Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Driving in cars, when we're traveling together, you drive always,
even when you're exhausted.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
Even when we're dropping my vehicle off and you drove
to pick me up, you get out and get in
a passenger seats. I do it is that's part of
my protect It is my job to make you sure
you're safe, and if I'm driving, I can make sure
unless you're a shitty driver. Right, if I was a
shitty driver, you would drive because it's safer for you.
Your job is to copilot. Yeah, hand out snacks, fucking navigation,

(52:10):
talk to me when I'm tired. That kind of thing. Cars.
When it comes to cars, it's my responsibility and the
blue jobs to make sure cars are maintained. I've set
two appointments for your vehicles in the last three days
because it's time for things to get done. Now. On
a day that I don't have anything going on, I
could take your car and just sit there and wait
for it to get finished, or I could do it myself,

(52:31):
or we can drop it off because there's other vehicles
you can drive it. We can just go get it.
Dropping it off and picking it back up is the
most convenient, and that's mostly what we do. But it
is my duty to schedule that shit because I get
the alerts. Like you don't even get the text messages.
You got one in your car on the screen saying
it's time for a service. But I got a text
message right afterwards.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I took a picture and send it to them.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Right, I've gotten three text messages about the Bronco because
it's time for your Broncos update. You know, the cars
are letting the dealerships know when your services are due now.
But that is my responsibility and the last one.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Before we move on. It's also your job to pump gas.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
Yeah, yeah, very rarely, Like if we're if we're ever
together and both cars are there, I will pump your
gas if we're if I'm in the vicinity, I will
come to where you're at and pump.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
You've met me at the gas station, upump my gas. Right.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
The reality is is if you were like if you
got home and you're like, hey, my truck's on you.
I would just go get your gas. You don't ever
do that, though, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
I didn't know that was an option.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
Absolutely an option. I will absolutely go to the gas
station for you every time you need a quarter tank. Okay, well,
then that I need to drive your pink assning. But
that's one of those things that like, I have no
problem doing that. It's a whole lot easier for me
to go get your gas and just take care of
it then to do that. If you're under a quarter
of tank, though, just get gas, Like, don't fucking run

(53:49):
out of gas. That's a much hard right, I know
you do, which is why I don't ever give you
shit for not telling me that you need gas.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
I'm always skim it right before.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
I hate that.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
I get the little light notification on, like, okay, it's
tying to hit a gas.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
We get a quarter tank and I'm panicking.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
I have ran out of gas twice in my life,
once on a major highway and once in the middle
of nowhere. Wow, and both sucked for different reasons. Good
with that. Yeah, I've also ran out of gas pulling
into a gas station. Geez, But that was on a
motorcycle and we were on a long ass ride and
like I had pinned it way too much and yeah,
shot shot my load. Probably should have done that, but

(54:26):
I coasted in. Yeah, with no gas to the pump.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
It was great, great because you got to the gas
r BI.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
Yeah, yeah, all right. Intimacy and perspectives. I don't remember
why we wrote this down.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
I don't remember why I wrote that out either.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
What does intimacy look for you as as a stay
at home or is the traditional wife I should.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Say, well, there are intimate things that you do to
me that I would never do to you. I'm not
pinning you against a wall.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
Hang on a second, Brittany just said I'll take your
pink Broco to get gas. And that's how you know
a man who will go get tampons no problem, secure
in his masculinity. I carry a box of emergency tampons
in my backpack for her. I give zero fucks in
the event that there's a bullet. When I have a
plug stopper, like we can plug that hole right now,
I'll give a shit. The idea that sanitary napkins or

(55:13):
sanitary products are new, while they're brand new and in
the package is fucking wild to me, it's gonna have
to get cut.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Why because this is gonna be really gross what you're
about to say it.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Is gonna be really really gross. I will pull your
fucking tampon out with my teeth. I give zero fucks
about any of that. I will shake that bitch like
a dog toy. I don't give a fuck. There's no
bodily fluid that's gonna come out of you that I'm
not not equipped to deal with other than mucus likes
not like like seeing you spit into a cup and

(55:49):
like collected as your mucasy and sick fucks with my
stomach like you wouldn't believe. But in the moment where
you got a spit doesn't bother me. It's when it's
collecting in a clear container that I can see, like.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Empty coke cans when I'm purging. I don't want to
get up every five minutes to spit in the thing.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
No, I get it. I just I don't know what
it is. I think and I never had an issue
with shit like that ever. I think it stems from
Sean's plusy arm from the time that he had an
infectionous surface piercing and smelling that like it completely. Just okay,
back to this because that was great. So back to
the antimacy thing you said, pinning you against the wall.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Yeah, I'm not going to pin you against the wall.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
I'm not going to pull you to me on the bed.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
Those I would like to see you try.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
I bet I could.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
I bet you couldn't. I bet you could. When we
get home, I think we need to try to the
TikTok fireman.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Thing, or I pick you up and put you.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
You have to roll me onto your back and try
to stand the word dead weight. We should have we
should record that we can do it this weeken when
we don't have the kids.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Let's go. I think I could do it.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Yeah, I've gotten pretty good at squatting with both of
the children on me.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
Yeah, both of the children combined way less than half
of me.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
No, they're about one hundred pounds right, and I'm too,
And then I would say that's about half. It's not
I picked up by you the other day.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
She's a quarter of me. She's less than a quarter
of me. She's one fifth.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Yeah, my little baby. So there are intimate things that
you do as my husband as as Oh it makes
me go but what.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
That's funny?

Speaker 2 (57:38):
But like I do things like I cross the back
of your head when we're hugging. Yeah, and you grab
my hair. That's I also like holding your face.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
There's intimacy and then there's sexual intimacy.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:55):
Intimacy to me is like buying you chocolates or finding
some random thing at a gas station and going, hey,
I know you didn't ask for this, but here it
is like the gift giving is a form of intimacy
to me. Putting my arms around your waist while you're
in the kitchen cooking and then stealing some food running away, right,
Like those are intimate moments because we are having closeness

(58:18):
with goofiness, laying in the bed at night and having
conversations and giggling with each other and being really fucking
stupid when we're tired, Like that is all intimate? Is
fuck to me? Taking your shoes off, yeah, getting it
harder and harder for you to do that though, is
I'm becoming closer and closer to a dirty foot. I'm
not even wearing socks anymore.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Yeah, I'm wearing slippers as we speak.

Speaker 3 (58:40):
It's gonna get to the point where I'm just barefoot
in the shit everywhere you Okay, So there's there's an
intimacy there, there's and there's a way to serve in
that moment, like there's a there's a true love in that.
Buff Bell said, by the end of Costa Rica, he
had almost a full head of hair. She shaves my
head for me.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
I do do that, yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
And I have everywhere except for right there.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
I be too.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
Yeah, you do. You shave it, trim it up, and
then you know, you try to get the spots that
I can't see. But those are intimate moments, right you.
You are taking care of me in a way that
I could take care of me. I've done it my
whole fucking life. But it's just one more thing that
we get to do together. Those those moments are sustainable
for our entire relationship as long as you don't take

(59:24):
them for granted. I am grateful that you hand me
on my plate every night, or that you cook dinner,
or that you do my beard. And there's times where
I'm like, hey, I know you're busy right now, but
like I did this yesterday, I was like, I would
like a shake, and I can tell you make it
and you're like, no, I got it right, because I'm
not trying to add more to your plate. I know
you're busy right now, so like there's still a there's

(59:45):
an intimacy in that as well, because I'm doing for
you or looking out for you instead of just making
a demand, like I know it's your job to feed
me and take care of my food. Intake, where's my breakfast?
That's very different than Hey, I can tell you're kind
of dealing with a lot with the kids. Now, I
am hungry. I'm gonna make my shake. You're like, oh
my got it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Like there's yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Jenna said, I want my man to make me feel petite,
dainty and soft, but also kind of like a shield maiden.
Do you think I got that? Oh yeah, yeah, you
get both the best of both worlds.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Yeah, you make me feel like a delicate fairy but
also like a badass warrior.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Because I told you how to ride, taught you how
to ride dirt bikes, right, yeah, buff Bell said, the
entire animal kingdom grooms of their mates. It's normal, right,
that is natural evolution. Yeah, Because we didn't have mirrors,
we had to take care of each other. And that's

(01:00:41):
what intimacy looks like. It looks like taking care of
each other. Sexual intimacy looks like a whole lot of fun.
And that's a very different conversation. But I think it's
important to you serve your person, and that is an
intimate thing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
I'm wi going to put your socks and shoes on
for you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
You have, but one of my socks on before me before.
She's Spider Man on a zip line. She's a badass.
That's funny. Hell yeah, Well that's our conversation on traditional
value situations. Probably not at all with the person who
left that comment intended, yeah, because his conversation was just

(01:01:18):
about finances. But I think we covered a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
I think for our next Friday content, we should talk
about how we handle disruptions.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Okay, she should probably make notes about that ahead of time. Then, Okay,
and by we, I mean you, I can do that
because it was totally your idea and I won't even
look at them. We'll just spitball it kind of like
what we just did.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Yeah, so it looks like the rain's starting to pick up.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Yeah, and you want Taco Bell?

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
I do want Taco Bell.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Well, with that being said, guys, we hope you enjoy this.
You have to go relieve Oh I'm glad you were
paying attention.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
You were doing the sign off. Yeah, we had Carrie
for a few hours today and we have to go
relieve the children. Relieve her of the children, do it
again and go hit it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
I hope you guys enjoyed this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
We made it for you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Remember you were the author of your own life. The
grab a pen and we will see you on the
next one.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Bye, guys.