January 6, 2025 • 30 mins
What if the decision not to have children could pave the way for building a multinational empire? As a couple with a 25-year age difference and a decade of marriage, we, Mark and Andy, share our journey of navigating societal expectations and personal choices. From the common question about our parenthood plans to the intricate balance of managing an international business, we explore the delicate dance between personal and professional commitments. Our lifestyle, filled with frequent travel and family responsibilities, shapes our decision to remain child-free, challenging traditional norms and celebrating individual paths.
Parenting isn't just a personal choice; it's a cultural statement. We admire those who skillfully balance family and career, yet openly discuss our sense of unreadiness for such a life. By examining cultural differences in parenting and alcohol consumption between the U.S. and Europe, we unveil how societal judgments shape decisions. Our critique of the "participation trophy" culture leads us to celebrate the values of competition and striving for excellence, fostering debate on what truly prepares the next generation for success.
From strict upbringing lessons to the middle-ground parenting approach prevalent today, we reflect on the varied expectations placed on children across cultures. With a nod to familial duty and societal norms, an anecdote about a bartender with a biomechanical engineering degree highlights the enduring influence of family responsibilities. We invite you to join the conversation on participation trophies and parenting strategies, encouraging a dialogue on what equips children for a fulfilling future. Join us as we explore these multi-faceted dynamics, offering insights and sparking thought-provoking discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
it's two generations, one mic.
My name is mark, this isandrein or andy, since nobody
can pronounce that name.
So if you haven't already,please help us with the
algorithms like subscribe.
Follow us on youtube and mostpodcast channels.
We're there, so find us socialmedia as well.
Engage with us, ask usquestions.
(00:26):
We're more than happy to answerthem and follow the discussion
as we move things along.
If you'd like to hear us talkabout something in particular,
we'd be happy to do that too.
The basis of this show issupposed to be like relationship
oriented, but we talk to otherpeople about interesting things,
but we'll always keep comingback to relationships and things
like that and how thatinteracts with whatever else you
do in your life as a couple orby yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
But why?
Because you and I are married.
We've been married for 20, no,20 something years.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You're way ahead of yourself, woman.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
We are separated by a 25 year gap.
We've been married for 10 years.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah, 27 years, I would be in prison.
I would be in prison if thatwere the case.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You'd be in jail for sure.
And we have a 25-year gap right, and today's episode we are
going to talk aboutromanticizing parenthood and
growing in a fragile society.
And growing in a fragilesociety and I really want to
talk about this because I thinkthat's for us that we've been
(01:33):
married for so long.
Everybody keeps asking me whenare we going to have kids?
We don't have kids liketogether.
You have kids from previousmarriages that are adult kids.
You also have grandkids, rightand to me, I'm 36 years old but
(01:54):
I still feel like sometimes Ineed an adult with me.
I don't feel 100% like an adult.
I have my own business, I runan international company, I can
take care of my mom, I can takecare of you, but to me sometimes
, like thinking about caring foranother, like a growing human,
(02:18):
I just don't feel confident orinterested in it.
And a lot of people keep askingus when are you guys going to
have kids?
We may not want to have kids.
I may not want to have kids,and it's okay to respect that.
And I get mad when people askme well, but who's going to take
(02:44):
care of you when you're older?
That's why you're having kids.
Is that why you're having kids?
So you have somebody to takecare of you when you're older?
I've thought about that.
Tiffany's going to take care ofme when I'm older.
I'm going to take care of her.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Because my daughter Tiffany, also one year older
than you, but my daughterTiffany is also very similar.
She wants no children, she hasno desire to have children and
she can barely tolerate beingaround other people's children
for only a certain period oftime, exactly because she gets
very nervous about that, and soshe's like we made a deal.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'll take care of her , she'll take care of me.
We'll have cats and dogs andall the animals in the land, and
that's my.
I haven't thought that farahead in my life, so at this
point I feel like not because wehave a stable relationship.
Can we afford a kid?
Yes, do I want it?
(03:33):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Well, you also don't have.
You don't, honestly, it's true,but you also don't have the
time.
And it's again.
Everybody has personal choices,which is there's nothing wrong
with either choice.
If you want to build yourcareer separately and that's all
you want to do, that's fine.
If you want your career to be ahomemaker, a mom, a homemaker
(03:58):
and do nothing else, that's fine.
If you want to do both, try tohave a balanced career of being
a homemaker, a mom and alsohaving a career, you can do that
too.
It's your choice and youshouldn't be afraid or shamed of
any of those three choices.
It's all what you want to doand how that mixes with your
family.
(04:18):
But I agree, but you don't, youhave no desire to do that.
And your goal is the first one.
Your goal has been and sincewe've been together, is build
and we own an internationalbusiness, international beauty
brand.
But your whole thing is I'mbuilding an empire here.
That is my goal.
I am building an empire that abig company like a L'Oreal or a
(04:40):
P&G or somebody is going toswoop in, write a big check for
one day.
And I can't do that if I'mworried about taking care of
another human other than myhusband is trying to keep
healthy and my mother who liveswith us.
So I can't even imagine you.
And again, I think everybodyhas their own situation.
So if that's the choice ofwomen, that they have small
(05:02):
children, they have children,they have their lives and they
have that traditional life Mostof them someone doesn't call
them and say hey, by the way, Ineed you to get on a plane to
Singapore tomorrow, you knowwhat I'm saying.
And then from Singapore youneed to go to Taipei and then
also Bangkok and then run backthrough Amsterdam for a day and
then down to Paris and then backhome to Madrid or something.
(05:23):
They're not living a life likethat.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
They are living.
The traditional go to work atthis time.
We have the kids, we pick themup, they do the sports or they
do the ballet or they dowhatever activity.
We have dinner at this time.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, but maybe that's not what they it to do.
Maybe I personally have met somany people with kids, that I
mean.
We travel a lot, we always talkto different people and, again,
my husband is chatty, cathy, heloves to engage in
conversations.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I'm from Texas originally and that's the law.
That's what we do.
We go talk to people we don'tknow when we make friends.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You're nosy, that's what it is.
Maybe, and sometimes we talk topeople when they have kids and,
yes, they love their kids nowthat they have them, but they
really didn't want to have themto begin with.
It was not in their plans.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It wasn't in their original plans.
Maybe at that time.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Right.
So I think in Spain it's awhole different story.
Women, spanish women have kidsin their 50s.
Yeah, 40s and 50s 40s and 50s,because this is the time where
they feel that they partied allthey wanted, they have a career
they want, they traveled allthey wanted and now it's the
(06:46):
time to have kids.
So that's that to me.
Whether I understand it may benot as good.
I mean, I can't imagine myselfat 50 having a kid because my
knees hurt now.
God knows what's going tohappen then, but to me that's
when you should have a kid,right when you already
(07:07):
accomplished what you wanted toaccomplish.
I've known so many girls thathave kids and they can't wait
for the grandparents to takecare of the kids so they can go
out because they have the kidsor they don't.
I don't know, babe.
I just Sometimes people tellyou oh, you have, you have a
(07:31):
great relationship, you weremarried, you should have kids.
No, we shouldn't If that's notwhat we want at this point in
life.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
They think that that's the way everyone, it
should be for everyone, and whenit's not, it's a personal
choice of what you want to doand it doesn't define you either
way on what choice you make.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And nowadays, back in the day, women were homemakers
and, yes, women will stay athome.
The husband will go out to workand come back and the woman
will take care of the kids.
But today, not only as a woman,you have to be a mom, you have
to also work.
You also have, unless you marrysomebody rich, making it work
(08:12):
as a family, and give them goodlife Both parents work and the
life of the woman I just feellike it's put behind.
I see a lot of my friends thathave kids.
They're like oh, I'm sorry, Idon't have any makeup, I don't
have any time to do this, Idon't have any time to do that,
(08:32):
I don't have any time to do this.
And they're happy.
Some of them are happy with it,but some of them are not.
Some of them.
I think out of all the peoplethat I grew up with in school, I
think just two of them are theones that have planned to
actually have a kid and wantedto have a kid.
(08:54):
At the time they got it Becauseall the other ones were just.
It just happened and now theircareer doesn't take off and they
regret that and they take thatkind of like on the husband, I
guess, and on the kid.
So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So they blame them.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
They blame them.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Subconsciously they blame the husband and the child
a little bit, because theircareer dreams weren't fulfilled,
because they had to step backand be a mother.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Exactly, and now they have to have another job.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
that kind of like can Help support the family, but
not really what they wanted todo for a career.
So they're disappointed intheir own personal development
because they had to take thechoice of doing something else
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And yes, again, they are married, they have a stable
relationship, but that doesn'tmean you have to have a kid.
My mom still asks me are youplanning on having kids?
I don't know, mom, and I mean,after your cancer treatments and
everything, you can't have kids.
We can't have kids together.
That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, first of all, I had a vasectomy years ago, but
then after that and I mentionedthis in another episode that you
know five years ago, a littleover five years ago, maybe five
and a half, six years ago I gotdiagnosed with prostate cancer
and we're going to do a wholeepisode about that.
For men is what that entailed,what I went through, what you
can expect and what you shoulddo in that case.
(10:17):
But because of that I had tomake a couple of decisions on
that and if you know, if I hadjust let it go, I would have.
I would be dead by now becauseit would have spread.
They call prostate cancer thesilent killer of men for a
reason because they generallydon't know.
They even have it until it'stoo late.
(10:39):
And if it spreads it's too late, you're done.
And sadly, at that time I hadmany, many friends reach out and
had either been diagnosed withprostate cancer as well and had
a chance to treat it, or it wastoo late.
They found out too late andthey have since passed on.
And that's the thing that I putmy whole journey on my social
(11:02):
media on purpose for a reasonfor that, and I would have
friends say why are you sharingso many personal details about
what you're going through andI'd say you know what?
It doesn't matter to me.
If it saves one man's life, oneperson's life, and helps their
family, then it's worth it.
It's worth it me telling mystory Because if you catch it in
time, you can save your life.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And that's important.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
We'll do a whole episode on that.
But because of that treatment Ihad to do either surgery that
had a lot of complications therethat weren't going to be fun
for the rest of my life, or Icould have intensive radiation
therapy and I had to take femalehormones too.
That's a whole other story.
So they do that for six monthsand then I had intensive
(11:47):
radiation uh radiationtreatments, targeted radiation
therapy and five really, reallyintensive treatments over two
weeks period two in one week,three in the next.
And when I say intensive I meanso much that I could not walk,
uh or even sit up uh minutes or20 minutes after I'd had it done
(12:10):
.
It was, it was brutal, but partof the side effects from that
unfortunately, even if I had nothad the previously, had had the
vasectomy was that I can't havechildren ever again.
Like biologically I couldn't.
I couldn't make a child, yeah.
So it's just not a thing.
(12:32):
So you would have to.
We've talked about this before,about you know.
Okay, maybe you know if we weregoing to do that, could they do
?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
you know, we'll adopt , or you know but I'm not ready
for that and people keep pushingme and I am not ready for that.
So I, and I believe me, I, I amamazed by all these women and
all these men that can actuallybalance, work with their kids
and are actually happy with themand the kids are happy and I
(12:59):
admire that, because in my headI can't figure out the
combination and how to make itwork.
But I just feel like a lot ofpeople also yeah, a lot of
people they're not ready to havekids and they didn't want to
have kids.
And on a fun fact, do you knowthat women, like the US is the
(13:25):
number one country with femalealcoholics?
That's a fun fact.
And that's a lot of them.
That's the only way that canbear their kids when they have
alcoholics.
That's a fun fact.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
And that's a lot of them.
That's the only way that canbear their kids when they have
alcohol on.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, there's the wine culture.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
A lot of women are drinking wine in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yes, but it's because this is it.
This is the way to decompress.
And they can only stand theirkids when they have alcohol in
them.
And to me that's.
I like alcohol, I like to havea drink, but I wouldn't that.
To me it's not a thought, right.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Right, and you're not talking about all women here.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
No, no, no, I'm just talking about 12% of women in
the US.
12% of women are alcoholics inthe US.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And the main reason of that is they're trying to
deal with their family stressand structures and their
lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, and that's.
That's an interesting fact.
But what I was why I broughtthat up is because as long as
people keep trying to tell us,oh, you want to have kids or not
, people here, they judge you somuch, they just want to give
you.
Like, when we go out to havelunch and we're having wine at
(14:35):
noon, people are judging us.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, it's very.
That's the thing and that's oneof the reasons we really like
living in Europe, our Europeanliving, much better, because
it's a different lifestyle.
They're not drinking glasses oftea, they have tea in a bottle.
But everybody at every table inthe restaurant they have a
glass of wine or they have beer.
People drink alcohol.
And they go back to work andthey go back to work.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's not a big deal yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
In America it's like oh, how dare you be drinking
this early?
I know they're very judgy andlike what you should be doing.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I think it's part of that fragile society, warren,
that everybody has to judge whatyou do.
Everything you do is wrong andI don't want.
Maybe that's the part of why Idon't want to have kids yet,
because I don't.
I don't want my kids to grow upin today's world where
everybody judges you.
God forbid all these kids.
(15:25):
Now, with social media, theyhave high standards to follow
and to me I don't know whatbeing a teenager is nowadays,
which should be super stressful.
There is nowadays which shouldbe super stressful and also I
will put a lot of pressure in mykid.
Right, I will never be.
I don't think I will be part ofthat participation trophy
(15:46):
culture.
That I no offense, but if youdon't win, you don't deserve a
trophy or a medal.
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah, I'm the same.
I'm the same way.
I'm very old school.
I, you know, I I played sportsfrom the time I was five.
All the way up through school Icoached sports.
Um, yeah, I coached baseballfor my kids, baseball teams and
stuff like that.
I was never the let's getparticipation trophies for
people.
I'm from the school that waslike you play, if you want a
(16:13):
trophy, you win.
The division you win, you get atrophy.
Because we're not supposed to beraising a culture of
participators, we're raising aculture of winners, and sports
is about teamwork and learningand how to do that.
But you also, the Americanthing is to win.
You want to be a winner and Idon't think you're sending a bad
(16:35):
signal that if you didn't win,you're a loser and you don't get
anything.
But that's life.
Yeah, but you've got to learn.
Yeah, everything's not handedto you on a silver platter.
You have to go work for that,you have to put in the effort to
get that.
And I remember, even back when Iwas coaching baseball this is
(16:56):
years ago I used to get reallyirritated at some of the team
moms because they were like oh,showing up and oh, here's your
juice boxes and here's yoursnacks and I was like OK, look,
thank you, we'll do thatafterwards.
Right now we're stillpracticing and these kids need
to worry less about the snacksand the juice boxes and they
need to be worried about moreabout how to catch a ball, how
to throw that ball and howbaseball works.
So that, to me, was the biggerpriority.
(17:18):
Then we have the snacks and wehave the parties and things like
that, and I'm all for that kindof thing, but again, I don't
like participation trophies.
I don't like that generation.
I don't like that generation ofpeople that, oh, we've got to
make everything fair and it'sparticipation and it's just to
me, it's just whiny.
I don't like that whininess.
I'm about, you know, let's havea competition, let's have a
(17:41):
clear winner.
That's why I can't get intoyour country sports, soccer,
many other things.
They call it football, but Istill call it soccer.
I can't play an entire gamethat ends in a tie.
What's the point?
You need to have some sort ofwinner on a game.
If I just invested three hoursof my time, I want to see
(18:02):
somebody win a sporting event.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Well, it does.
Usually it's because it'stournaments, and in tournaments
you rack points.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Like the World Cup.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
How many times do people tie?
I don't like ties.
That's not a thing.
That is true.
You need a winner.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He asks at the end okay, they tied.
So now what I'm like, the gameis done.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh, don't get me started, and then don't even get
me started on that.
How your clock in the game?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
No, just do the math 45 minutes two times 45 minutes,
and then let's add some extratime.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
We don't know what that's going to be, but all
these rules are just willy-nilly.
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
No, they are rules in soccer.
I don't want my kids to grow inthis culture.
Believe me, I was raised by avery strict mom.
My mom was very strict.
I'm the only child with myparents' marriage.
I have half siblings, but withmy mom I was her only child and
(19:07):
she always told me that eitheryou come home with the best
grades or the worst grades.
Don't come here within themiddle, and that has been
embedded in me, that eitheryou're the best or the worst.
Just don't be mediocre.
And maybe today, whatever we'regrowing and everything in
(19:27):
today's world, it just feelslike everything is in the middle
.
Maybe it's just my thoughtprocess.
And when I was talking to ourfriend Cherry that lives in
Taiwan, we were talking aboutthe difference in cultures and
how the kids in there in Taiwanthat's an other extreme right
(19:47):
that everything they do, nothingis good enough.
So they grew up thinking thatthey're not good enough, that
whatever, even when they're thebest and that's why they excel.
China is the same when theyexcel in things.
Japan is the same.
They excel in things.
You're not good enough.
And I don't want I mean I don'twant both parts of the spectrum
(20:08):
.
I don't want to be.
I wouldn't want my kid to beraised in that culture, but I
wouldn't want my kid to beraised also in like oh you
failed, good job, you can tryagain tomorrow.
Yes, you can.
In life you can, but thatteaches you not to be maybe.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Not strive enough to win Not strive right.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
It doesn't give you a goal.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Because you're going to get a.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
A trophy, either way A trophy either way exactly.
So what's the point?
Why are you making an effort towin?
And, uh, it's it just in in.
In europe, for example, we have.
We see that with the kids,right.
How asian.
Uh, all these in spain, forexample, all these grocery not
(20:54):
grocery stores, kind of likebodegas, right?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, it'd be like a little fruiteria Convenience
stores Well, it's not even.
It's like a fruiteria wherethey sell fruits and vegetables
and things like that and alsothe convenience stores kind of
like the bazaars where they sella lot of things.
All these are run by Asians byChinese people who work harder
than anybody that I've ever seenthere.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
These people work so hard they work nonstop, seven
days a week.
Exactly, and they have theirkids after school working there.
I've seen the kids charge formy card, like this five-year-old
.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, five-year-old kid is working in the store.
Is working in the store Runningyour credit card.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Running your credit card and to me I'm like dang,
what was I doing at five?
Not charging credit cards formy mom's business?
That's for sure.
But to me I just think it makesyou maybe try I don't know how
to describe it it makes thisculture more to teach the kids
(21:51):
to be more responsible and maybetake care of knowing the
business, and maybe they have todo homework, because I see the
kids doing homework too, likethey are doing homework and
they're also charging the cardsat the same time.
So sometimes I ask the kids oh,what are you doing there?
Because they also speak fluentChinese and fluent Spanish
better Spanish than you speak.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
And they're doing homework and also working with
their parents, and I just don'tthink in America that will be a
thought in the US, like if youhave a business, you will not
have your kid working there withyou.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, I think it's a.
It is definitely a an Asiancultural thing in a lot of that
that, because even one of ourfavorite restaurants, uh,
there's a bartender that we knowand as I'm talking to him, uh,
for the first time a few weeksago, I said to him I, I said,
you know, we were talking aboutsports and everything, and it
(22:45):
came out that he graduated fromtexas a&m and I said, oh wow,
you went to a&m.
He says, yeah, I have a degreein biomechanical engineering.
And I said, said, and why areyou bartending?
He said because my dad owns therestaurant.
And he wants me here to learn.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He's in his 70s.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
He wants me here to learn the business.
I guess maybe he's going totake over someday.
I don't know what the plan is,but I mean that's the Asian
cultural thing is that you comeback to the family business, no
matter what you're doing, andlearn what we're doing here, in
case you have to help someday.
And so he's in the restaurantnow no-transcript.
(23:40):
I would also like to know thatif you've had an experience
where, on the other side, like,what do you think is the
appropriate thing?
What works for you?
Are you a participation trophyparent, Feel free to argue with
us and tell us why you thinkthat's important.
(24:00):
I'd like to know that.
So please comment subscribelike, follow us and engage with
us and tell us you know, defendyour position.
Why do you think or what?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
are you teaching your children by?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
giving them participation.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Is it okay to drink at noon?
I think so.
I mean if you don't have aproblem.
I mean if you're not waking upat six in the morning to take
shots of vodka.
I mean, having a glass of wineat lunch is fine, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Again, I think that's because a lot of them they're
going back to work or they haveto go do a kid's function or
they're doing something else.
Maybe they don't feelcomfortable doing that, but
that's again, that's definitelya cultural thing.
Difference of Europe versusAmerica where everybody drinks
in the daytime.
It's just a thing.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Everybody drinks all day.
It's funny to me because inAmerica, especially here in the
US, I mean number one if you're18, you can't drink.
You can vote, but you can'tdrink.
To me that's you can buy a gun,but you can't drink.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
You buy a gun, you can vote, but you can't drink a
beer.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And then when you guys can drink, you guys go way
overboard, like you go bananaswith the drinking Like.
Look at all these kids inspring break and in frat houses
and all these parties.
And what's that about Like?
Is it because like it's soforbidden?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I think it's because everybody, they live such a
sheltered life all the time andwe heard this from.
We went on a European cruise ayear ago or so throughout the
Mediterranean and we weretalking to the bartenders and
stuff and he said, yeah, you canalways tell the Americans on
the cruise ships.
He said because they come inand they lose their mind with
(25:35):
the alcohol, they're justdrinking nonstop and they're way
overboard, they're drunk andthey're just way overdoing it.
And he said you can tell thedifference between the Americans
that come on and the Europeansthat drink every day and know
how to handle their alcohol andknow they don't have to get
smashed just because all thealcohol is available to them.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
It's free alcohol, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So it's like they approach it from two different
ways and the Americans get therelike, oh, I'm finally free to
do what I want, and they just goa little overboard.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yeah, because here in the US you guys don't do open
bars, Open bars yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No, there's no such thing as open bars in the US
generally, it's mostly becauseof liability issues and lawsuits
and stuff that have to do with,you know, driving.
Remember, again, in Europeyou're walking a lot more
everywhere.
Here you're drinking anddriving.
It's a big difference.
You don't like, you don't drive, you don't walk places in Texas
at all, so you're drivingeverywhere.
(26:30):
So you're having to also thinkokay, I'm drinking, how much am
I drinking?
Then I have to get back in thecar and drive.
So it's different.
In Europe you're just, you canhave a bottle of wine, the whole
bottle there, you and yourperson you're having lunch with
or whatever, and then you'rejust walking back home and they
want to take a nap.
You take a nap.
Again, it's a differentlifestyle, it's a different
(26:50):
dynamic and that's probably hasa lot to do with what they're
doing and why they are doing ityeah.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So I remember when we were watching the first time
Emily in Paris.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, emily, in Paris .
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yes, she like that's one of the things in that movie,
in that show, where she is outfor lunch with her boss and
everybody else and they have abottle of wine, they're drinking
, and she's shocked by that.
And yes, like it's such aEuropean thing when you go out,
(27:22):
actually, in Europe sometimesthey have a thing called the
menu of the day, for example inSpain, which is your prefix meal
for a lower price, usually inthe weeks for people that work,
and that includes a beer or aglass of wine or a beverage, but
most people have beer or winewith their lunch.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Or a big table to get a bottle.
Everybody gets a bottle of wine, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Everybody drinks bottles of wine, and it's just
they don't.
I don't see kids trying to hidefrom their parents.
I mean, I've seen-.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Well, also, I remember, over there at 18, they
can drink legally.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yes, but also so the 18 and 0 kids are sitting there
drinking beers in the afternoon,but I also have seen kids like
15, 16, maybe having a glass ofwine with their parents at
dinner, like, and they're not,they're not going.
I have never seen people outthere like kids so stumbling
down the streets or trying tobuy liquor.
I think they're more trying tobuy cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Over there yeah like under 18.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
But alcohol is just not kind of like.
Oh, it's so forbidden that youhave to hide and drink and it's
open that you can drink, andI've seen construction workers,
government workers, drinkingtheir beer on the street.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, while they're in the middle of doing work.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Well, they were like in the little break.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
But they have like their beer and they go back to
work and I'm like that's alittle different.
Maybe that's not that good, butOK, they can handle it.
If you can handle it, why not?
Yeah.
So again, I just think hereit's we're growing in a fragile
society where everybody judgesyou, everybody wants to control
what you're doing, everybodywants to tell you what to do,
(29:07):
but then if you don't do it,they do it.
I mean, if you do it, you'rewrong, if you don't do it,
you're wrong.
So that's why I don't want tohave kids in this society.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I think that's it All of that to say.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I don't want to have kids?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
But again, if that's your choice, there's nothing
wrong with that.
Have kids, be a homemaker, havea career, don't have kids.
And if you do and you do allthat, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
God love you.
You pull it off, but again,it's all about choice and it's
your choice to do whatever you'dlike to do, and there's no
shame in either one of thosescenarios.
And you know, I think we'rejust saying that.
I think that other peopleshouldn't worry about so much
about what others are doing.
Let everybody else live theirown life.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Live your own life and don't be so judgy.
And don't try to control otherpeople.
Just live your life period.
Live your life as long as youdon't harm anybody.
Yeah, Just live your life.
That's what freedom is supposedto be about.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
That's why living your own life without bothering
others.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Exactly.
Let them do what they're doingso.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
please tell us if you have different thoughts.
We'd like to know what thosethoughts are.
If you have comments, you havequestions, we'd be happy to go
into that more for you.
You have to start by liking,subscribing or following us
YouTube and on every otherplatform.
We have new episodes droppingevery Tuesday mornings, 6 am,
Central Standard Time.
(30:29):
So please join us and followthis adventure.
it's two generations, one mic.
My name is mark, this isandrein or andy, since nobody
can pronounce that name.
So if you haven't already,please help us with the
algorithms like subscribe.
Follow us on youtube and mostpodcast channels.
We're there, so find us socialmedia as well.
Engage with us, ask usquestions.
(00:26):
We're more than happy to answerthem and follow the discussion
as we move things along.
If you'd like to hear us talkabout something in particular,
we'd be happy to do that too.
The basis of this show issupposed to be like relationship
oriented, but we talk to otherpeople about interesting things,
but we'll always keep comingback to relationships and things
like that and how thatinteracts with whatever else you
do in your life as a couple orby yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
But why?
Because you and I are married.
We've been married for 20, no,20 something years.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You're way ahead of yourself, woman.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
We are separated by a 25 year gap.
We've been married for 10 years.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah, 27 years, I would be in prison.
I would be in prison if thatwere the case.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You'd be in jail for sure.
And we have a 25-year gap right, and today's episode we are
going to talk aboutromanticizing parenthood and
growing in a fragile society.
And growing in a fragilesociety and I really want to
talk about this because I thinkthat's for us that we've been
(01:33):
married for so long.
Everybody keeps asking me whenare we going to have kids?
We don't have kids liketogether.
You have kids from previousmarriages that are adult kids.
You also have grandkids, rightand to me, I'm 36 years old but
(01:54):
I still feel like sometimes Ineed an adult with me.
I don't feel 100% like an adult.
I have my own business, I runan international company, I can
take care of my mom, I can takecare of you, but to me sometimes
, like thinking about caring foranother, like a growing human,
(02:18):
I just don't feel confident orinterested in it.
And a lot of people keep askingus when are you guys going to
have kids?
We may not want to have kids.
I may not want to have kids,and it's okay to respect that.
And I get mad when people askme well, but who's going to take
(02:44):
care of you when you're older?
That's why you're having kids.
Is that why you're having kids?
So you have somebody to takecare of you when you're older?
I've thought about that.
Tiffany's going to take care ofme when I'm older.
I'm going to take care of her.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Because my daughter Tiffany, also one year older
than you, but my daughterTiffany is also very similar.
She wants no children, she hasno desire to have children and
she can barely tolerate beingaround other people's children
for only a certain period oftime, exactly because she gets
very nervous about that, and soshe's like we made a deal.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'll take care of her , she'll take care of me.
We'll have cats and dogs andall the animals in the land, and
that's my.
I haven't thought that farahead in my life, so at this
point I feel like not because wehave a stable relationship.
Can we afford a kid?
Yes, do I want it?
(03:33):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Well, you also don't have.
You don't, honestly, it's true,but you also don't have the
time.
And it's again.
Everybody has personal choices,which is there's nothing wrong
with either choice.
If you want to build yourcareer separately and that's all
you want to do, that's fine.
If you want your career to be ahomemaker, a mom, a homemaker
(03:58):
and do nothing else, that's fine.
If you want to do both, try tohave a balanced career of being
a homemaker, a mom and alsohaving a career, you can do that
too.
It's your choice and youshouldn't be afraid or shamed of
any of those three choices.
It's all what you want to doand how that mixes with your
family.
(04:18):
But I agree, but you don't, youhave no desire to do that.
And your goal is the first one.
Your goal has been and sincewe've been together, is build
and we own an internationalbusiness, international beauty
brand.
But your whole thing is I'mbuilding an empire here.
That is my goal.
I am building an empire that abig company like a L'Oreal or a
(04:40):
P&G or somebody is going toswoop in, write a big check for
one day.
And I can't do that if I'mworried about taking care of
another human other than myhusband is trying to keep
healthy and my mother who liveswith us.
So I can't even imagine you.
And again, I think everybodyhas their own situation.
So if that's the choice ofwomen, that they have small
(05:02):
children, they have children,they have their lives and they
have that traditional life Mostof them someone doesn't call
them and say hey, by the way, Ineed you to get on a plane to
Singapore tomorrow, you knowwhat I'm saying.
And then from Singapore youneed to go to Taipei and then
also Bangkok and then run backthrough Amsterdam for a day and
then down to Paris and then backhome to Madrid or something.
(05:23):
They're not living a life likethat.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
They are living.
The traditional go to work atthis time.
We have the kids, we pick themup, they do the sports or they
do the ballet or they dowhatever activity.
We have dinner at this time.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, but maybe that's not what they it to do.
Maybe I personally have met somany people with kids, that I
mean.
We travel a lot, we always talkto different people and, again,
my husband is chatty, cathy, heloves to engage in
conversations.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I'm from Texas originally and that's the law.
That's what we do.
We go talk to people we don'tknow when we make friends.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You're nosy, that's what it is.
Maybe, and sometimes we talk topeople when they have kids and,
yes, they love their kids nowthat they have them, but they
really didn't want to have themto begin with.
It was not in their plans.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It wasn't in their original plans.
Maybe at that time.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Right.
So I think in Spain it's awhole different story.
Women, spanish women have kidsin their 50s.
Yeah, 40s and 50s 40s and 50s,because this is the time where
they feel that they partied allthey wanted, they have a career
they want, they traveled allthey wanted and now it's the
(06:46):
time to have kids.
So that's that to me.
Whether I understand it may benot as good.
I mean, I can't imagine myselfat 50 having a kid because my
knees hurt now.
God knows what's going tohappen then, but to me that's
when you should have a kid,right when you already
(07:07):
accomplished what you wanted toaccomplish.
I've known so many girls thathave kids and they can't wait
for the grandparents to takecare of the kids so they can go
out because they have the kidsor they don't.
I don't know, babe.
I just Sometimes people tellyou oh, you have, you have a
(07:31):
great relationship, you weremarried, you should have kids.
No, we shouldn't If that's notwhat we want at this point in
life.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
They think that that's the way everyone, it
should be for everyone, and whenit's not, it's a personal
choice of what you want to doand it doesn't define you either
way on what choice you make.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And nowadays, back in the day, women were homemakers
and, yes, women will stay athome.
The husband will go out to workand come back and the woman
will take care of the kids.
But today, not only as a woman,you have to be a mom, you have
to also work.
You also have, unless you marrysomebody rich, making it work
(08:12):
as a family, and give them goodlife Both parents work and the
life of the woman I just feellike it's put behind.
I see a lot of my friends thathave kids.
They're like oh, I'm sorry, Idon't have any makeup, I don't
have any time to do this, Idon't have any time to do that,
(08:32):
I don't have any time to do this.
And they're happy.
Some of them are happy with it,but some of them are not.
Some of them.
I think out of all the peoplethat I grew up with in school, I
think just two of them are theones that have planned to
actually have a kid and wantedto have a kid.
(08:54):
At the time they got it Becauseall the other ones were just.
It just happened and now theircareer doesn't take off and they
regret that and they take thatkind of like on the husband, I
guess, and on the kid.
So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So they blame them.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
They blame them.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Subconsciously they blame the husband and the child
a little bit, because theircareer dreams weren't fulfilled,
because they had to step backand be a mother.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Exactly, and now they have to have another job.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
that kind of like can Help support the family, but
not really what they wanted todo for a career.
So they're disappointed intheir own personal development
because they had to take thechoice of doing something else
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And yes, again, they are married, they have a stable
relationship, but that doesn'tmean you have to have a kid.
My mom still asks me are youplanning on having kids?
I don't know, mom, and I mean,after your cancer treatments and
everything, you can't have kids.
We can't have kids together.
That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, first of all, I had a vasectomy years ago, but
then after that and I mentionedthis in another episode that you
know five years ago, a littleover five years ago, maybe five
and a half, six years ago I gotdiagnosed with prostate cancer
and we're going to do a wholeepisode about that.
For men is what that entailed,what I went through, what you
can expect and what you shoulddo in that case.
(10:17):
But because of that I had tomake a couple of decisions on
that and if you know, if I hadjust let it go, I would have.
I would be dead by now becauseit would have spread.
They call prostate cancer thesilent killer of men for a
reason because they generallydon't know.
They even have it until it'stoo late.
(10:39):
And if it spreads it's too late, you're done.
And sadly, at that time I hadmany, many friends reach out and
had either been diagnosed withprostate cancer as well and had
a chance to treat it, or it wastoo late.
They found out too late andthey have since passed on.
And that's the thing that I putmy whole journey on my social
(11:02):
media on purpose for a reasonfor that, and I would have
friends say why are you sharingso many personal details about
what you're going through andI'd say you know what?
It doesn't matter to me.
If it saves one man's life, oneperson's life, and helps their
family, then it's worth it.
It's worth it me telling mystory Because if you catch it in
time, you can save your life.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And that's important.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
We'll do a whole episode on that.
But because of that treatment Ihad to do either surgery that
had a lot of complications therethat weren't going to be fun
for the rest of my life, or Icould have intensive radiation
therapy and I had to take femalehormones too.
That's a whole other story.
So they do that for six monthsand then I had intensive
(11:47):
radiation uh radiationtreatments, targeted radiation
therapy and five really, reallyintensive treatments over two
weeks period two in one week,three in the next.
And when I say intensive I meanso much that I could not walk,
uh or even sit up uh minutes or20 minutes after I'd had it done
(12:10):
.
It was, it was brutal, but partof the side effects from that
unfortunately, even if I had nothad the previously, had had the
vasectomy was that I can't havechildren ever again.
Like biologically I couldn't.
I couldn't make a child, yeah.
So it's just not a thing.
(12:32):
So you would have to.
We've talked about this before,about you know.
Okay, maybe you know if we weregoing to do that, could they do
?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
you know, we'll adopt , or you know but I'm not ready
for that and people keep pushingme and I am not ready for that.
So I, and I believe me, I, I amamazed by all these women and
all these men that can actuallybalance, work with their kids
and are actually happy with themand the kids are happy and I
(12:59):
admire that, because in my headI can't figure out the
combination and how to make itwork.
But I just feel like a lot ofpeople also yeah, a lot of
people they're not ready to havekids and they didn't want to
have kids.
And on a fun fact, do you knowthat women, like the US is the
(13:25):
number one country with femalealcoholics?
That's a fun fact.
And that's a lot of them.
That's the only way that canbear their kids when they have
alcoholics.
That's a fun fact.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
And that's a lot of them.
That's the only way that canbear their kids when they have
alcohol on.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Well, there's the wine culture.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
A lot of women are drinking wine in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yes, but it's because this is it.
This is the way to decompress.
And they can only stand theirkids when they have alcohol in
them.
And to me that's.
I like alcohol, I like to havea drink, but I wouldn't that.
To me it's not a thought, right.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Right, and you're not talking about all women here.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
No, no, no, I'm just talking about 12% of women in
the US.
12% of women are alcoholics inthe US.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And the main reason of that is they're trying to
deal with their family stressand structures and their
lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, and that's.
That's an interesting fact.
But what I was why I broughtthat up is because as long as
people keep trying to tell us,oh, you want to have kids or not
, people here, they judge you somuch, they just want to give
you.
Like, when we go out to havelunch and we're having wine at
(14:35):
noon, people are judging us.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, it's very.
That's the thing and that's oneof the reasons we really like
living in Europe, our Europeanliving, much better, because
it's a different lifestyle.
They're not drinking glasses oftea, they have tea in a bottle.
But everybody at every table inthe restaurant they have a
glass of wine or they have beer.
People drink alcohol.
And they go back to work andthey go back to work.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's not a big deal yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
In America it's like oh, how dare you be drinking
this early?
I know they're very judgy andlike what you should be doing.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I think it's part of that fragile society, warren,
that everybody has to judge whatyou do.
Everything you do is wrong andI don't want.
Maybe that's the part of why Idon't want to have kids yet,
because I don't.
I don't want my kids to grow upin today's world where
everybody judges you.
God forbid all these kids.
(15:25):
Now, with social media, theyhave high standards to follow
and to me I don't know whatbeing a teenager is nowadays,
which should be super stressful.
There is nowadays which shouldbe super stressful and also I
will put a lot of pressure in mykid.
Right, I will never be.
I don't think I will be part ofthat participation trophy
(15:46):
culture.
That I no offense, but if youdon't win, you don't deserve a
trophy or a medal.
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah, I'm the same.
I'm the same way.
I'm very old school.
I, you know, I I played sportsfrom the time I was five.
All the way up through school Icoached sports.
Um, yeah, I coached baseballfor my kids, baseball teams and
stuff like that.
I was never the let's getparticipation trophies for
people.
I'm from the school that waslike you play, if you want a
(16:13):
trophy, you win.
The division you win, you get atrophy.
Because we're not supposed to beraising a culture of
participators, we're raising aculture of winners, and sports
is about teamwork and learningand how to do that.
But you also, the Americanthing is to win.
You want to be a winner and Idon't think you're sending a bad
(16:35):
signal that if you didn't win,you're a loser and you don't get
anything.
But that's life.
Yeah, but you've got to learn.
Yeah, everything's not handedto you on a silver platter.
You have to go work for that,you have to put in the effort to
get that.
And I remember, even back when Iwas coaching baseball this is
(16:56):
years ago I used to get reallyirritated at some of the team
moms because they were like oh,showing up and oh, here's your
juice boxes and here's yoursnacks and I was like OK, look,
thank you, we'll do thatafterwards.
Right now we're stillpracticing and these kids need
to worry less about the snacksand the juice boxes and they
need to be worried about moreabout how to catch a ball, how
to throw that ball and howbaseball works.
So that, to me, was the biggerpriority.
(17:18):
Then we have the snacks and wehave the parties and things like
that, and I'm all for that kindof thing, but again, I don't
like participation trophies.
I don't like that generation.
I don't like that generation ofpeople that, oh, we've got to
make everything fair and it'sparticipation and it's just to
me, it's just whiny.
I don't like that whininess.
I'm about, you know, let's havea competition, let's have a
(17:41):
clear winner.
That's why I can't get intoyour country sports, soccer,
many other things.
They call it football, but Istill call it soccer.
I can't play an entire gamethat ends in a tie.
What's the point?
You need to have some sort ofwinner on a game.
If I just invested three hoursof my time, I want to see
(18:02):
somebody win a sporting event.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Well, it does.
Usually it's because it'stournaments, and in tournaments
you rack points.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Like the World Cup.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
How many times do people tie?
I don't like ties.
That's not a thing.
That is true.
You need a winner.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
He asks at the end okay, they tied.
So now what I'm like, the gameis done.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh, don't get me started, and then don't even get
me started on that.
How your clock in the game?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
No, just do the math 45 minutes two times 45 minutes,
and then let's add some extratime.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
We don't know what that's going to be, but all
these rules are just willy-nilly.
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
No, they are rules in soccer.
I don't want my kids to grow inthis culture.
Believe me, I was raised by avery strict mom.
My mom was very strict.
I'm the only child with myparents' marriage.
I have half siblings, but withmy mom I was her only child and
(19:07):
she always told me that eitheryou come home with the best
grades or the worst grades.
Don't come here within themiddle, and that has been
embedded in me, that eitheryou're the best or the worst.
Just don't be mediocre.
And maybe today, whatever we'regrowing and everything in
(19:27):
today's world, it just feelslike everything is in the middle
.
Maybe it's just my thoughtprocess.
And when I was talking to ourfriend Cherry that lives in
Taiwan, we were talking aboutthe difference in cultures and
how the kids in there in Taiwanthat's an other extreme right
(19:47):
that everything they do, nothingis good enough.
So they grew up thinking thatthey're not good enough, that
whatever, even when they're thebest and that's why they excel.
China is the same when theyexcel in things.
Japan is the same.
They excel in things.
You're not good enough.
And I don't want I mean I don'twant both parts of the spectrum
(20:08):
.
I don't want to be.
I wouldn't want my kid to beraised in that culture, but I
wouldn't want my kid to beraised also in like oh you
failed, good job, you can tryagain tomorrow.
Yes, you can.
In life you can, but thatteaches you not to be maybe.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Not strive enough to win Not strive right.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
It doesn't give you a goal.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Because you're going to get a.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
A trophy, either way A trophy either way exactly.
So what's the point?
Why are you making an effort towin?
And, uh, it's it just in in.
In europe, for example, we have.
We see that with the kids,right.
How asian.
Uh, all these in spain, forexample, all these grocery not
(20:54):
grocery stores, kind of likebodegas, right?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, it'd be like a little fruiteria Convenience
stores Well, it's not even.
It's like a fruiteria wherethey sell fruits and vegetables
and things like that and alsothe convenience stores kind of
like the bazaars where they sella lot of things.
All these are run by Asians byChinese people who work harder
than anybody that I've ever seenthere.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
These people work so hard they work nonstop, seven
days a week.
Exactly, and they have theirkids after school working there.
I've seen the kids charge formy card, like this five-year-old
.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, five-year-old kid is working in the store.
Is working in the store Runningyour credit card.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Running your credit card and to me I'm like dang,
what was I doing at five?
Not charging credit cards formy mom's business?
That's for sure.
But to me I just think it makesyou maybe try I don't know how
to describe it it makes thisculture more to teach the kids
(21:51):
to be more responsible and maybetake care of knowing the
business, and maybe they have todo homework, because I see the
kids doing homework too, likethey are doing homework and
they're also charging the cardsat the same time.
So sometimes I ask the kids oh,what are you doing there?
Because they also speak fluentChinese and fluent Spanish
better Spanish than you speak.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
And they're doing homework and also working with
their parents, and I just don'tthink in America that will be a
thought in the US, like if youhave a business, you will not
have your kid working there withyou.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, I think it's a.
It is definitely a an Asiancultural thing in a lot of that
that, because even one of ourfavorite restaurants, uh,
there's a bartender that we knowand as I'm talking to him, uh,
for the first time a few weeksago, I said to him I, I said,
you know, we were talking aboutsports and everything, and it
(22:45):
came out that he graduated fromtexas a&m and I said, oh wow,
you went to a&m.
He says, yeah, I have a degreein biomechanical engineering.
And I said, said, and why areyou bartending?
He said because my dad owns therestaurant.
And he wants me here to learn.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He's in his 70s.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
He wants me here to learn the business.
I guess maybe he's going totake over someday.
I don't know what the plan is,but I mean that's the Asian
cultural thing is that you comeback to the family business, no
matter what you're doing, andlearn what we're doing here, in
case you have to help someday.
And so he's in the restaurantnow no-transcript.
(23:40):
I would also like to know thatif you've had an experience
where, on the other side, like,what do you think is the
appropriate thing?
What works for you?
Are you a participation trophyparent, Feel free to argue with
us and tell us why you thinkthat's important.
(24:00):
I'd like to know that.
So please comment subscribelike, follow us and engage with
us and tell us you know, defendyour position.
Why do you think or what?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
are you teaching your children by?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
giving them participation.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Is it okay to drink at noon?
I think so.
I mean if you don't have aproblem.
I mean if you're not waking upat six in the morning to take
shots of vodka.
I mean, having a glass of wineat lunch is fine, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Again, I think that's because a lot of them they're
going back to work or they haveto go do a kid's function or
they're doing something else.
Maybe they don't feelcomfortable doing that, but
that's again, that's definitelya cultural thing.
Difference of Europe versusAmerica where everybody drinks
in the daytime.
It's just a thing.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Everybody drinks all day.
It's funny to me because inAmerica, especially here in the
US, I mean number one if you're18, you can't drink.
You can vote, but you can'tdrink.
To me that's you can buy a gun,but you can't drink.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
You buy a gun, you can vote, but you can't drink a
beer.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And then when you guys can drink, you guys go way
overboard, like you go bananaswith the drinking Like.
Look at all these kids inspring break and in frat houses
and all these parties.
And what's that about Like?
Is it because like it's soforbidden?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I think it's because everybody, they live such a
sheltered life all the time andwe heard this from.
We went on a European cruise ayear ago or so throughout the
Mediterranean and we weretalking to the bartenders and
stuff and he said, yeah, you canalways tell the Americans on
the cruise ships.
He said because they come inand they lose their mind with
(25:35):
the alcohol, they're justdrinking nonstop and they're way
overboard, they're drunk andthey're just way overdoing it.
And he said you can tell thedifference between the Americans
that come on and the Europeansthat drink every day and know
how to handle their alcohol andknow they don't have to get
smashed just because all thealcohol is available to them.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
It's free alcohol, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So it's like they approach it from two different
ways and the Americans get therelike, oh, I'm finally free to
do what I want, and they just goa little overboard.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yeah, because here in the US you guys don't do open
bars, Open bars yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No, there's no such thing as open bars in the US
generally, it's mostly becauseof liability issues and lawsuits
and stuff that have to do with,you know, driving.
Remember, again, in Europeyou're walking a lot more
everywhere.
Here you're drinking anddriving.
It's a big difference.
You don't like, you don't drive, you don't walk places in Texas
at all, so you're drivingeverywhere.
(26:30):
So you're having to also thinkokay, I'm drinking, how much am
I drinking?
Then I have to get back in thecar and drive.
So it's different.
In Europe you're just, you canhave a bottle of wine, the whole
bottle there, you and yourperson you're having lunch with
or whatever, and then you'rejust walking back home and they
want to take a nap.
You take a nap.
Again, it's a differentlifestyle, it's a different
(26:50):
dynamic and that's probably hasa lot to do with what they're
doing and why they are doing ityeah.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So I remember when we were watching the first time
Emily in Paris.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, emily, in Paris .
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yes, she like that's one of the things in that movie,
in that show, where she is outfor lunch with her boss and
everybody else and they have abottle of wine, they're drinking
, and she's shocked by that.
And yes, like it's such aEuropean thing when you go out,
(27:22):
actually, in Europe sometimesthey have a thing called the
menu of the day, for example inSpain, which is your prefix meal
for a lower price, usually inthe weeks for people that work,
and that includes a beer or aglass of wine or a beverage, but
most people have beer or winewith their lunch.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Or a big table to get a bottle.
Everybody gets a bottle of wine, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Everybody drinks bottles of wine, and it's just
they don't.
I don't see kids trying to hidefrom their parents.
I mean, I've seen-.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Well, also, I remember, over there at 18, they
can drink legally.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yes, but also so the 18 and 0 kids are sitting there
drinking beers in the afternoon,but I also have seen kids like
15, 16, maybe having a glass ofwine with their parents at
dinner, like, and they're not,they're not going.
I have never seen people outthere like kids so stumbling
down the streets or trying tobuy liquor.
I think they're more trying tobuy cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Over there yeah like under 18.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
But alcohol is just not kind of like.
Oh, it's so forbidden that youhave to hide and drink and it's
open that you can drink, andI've seen construction workers,
government workers, drinkingtheir beer on the street.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, while they're in the middle of doing work.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Well, they were like in the little break.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
But they have like their beer and they go back to
work and I'm like that's alittle different.
Maybe that's not that good, butOK, they can handle it.
If you can handle it, why not?
Yeah.
So again, I just think hereit's we're growing in a fragile
society where everybody judgesyou, everybody wants to control
what you're doing, everybodywants to tell you what to do,
(29:07):
but then if you don't do it,they do it.
I mean, if you do it, you'rewrong, if you don't do it,
you're wrong.
So that's why I don't want tohave kids in this society.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I think that's it All of that to say.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I don't want to have kids?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
But again, if that's your choice, there's nothing
wrong with that.
Have kids, be a homemaker, havea career, don't have kids.
And if you do and you do allthat, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
God love you.
You pull it off, but again,it's all about choice and it's
your choice to do whatever you'dlike to do, and there's no
shame in either one of thosescenarios.
And you know, I think we'rejust saying that.
I think that other peopleshouldn't worry about so much
about what others are doing.
Let everybody else live theirown life.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Live your own life and don't be so judgy.
And don't try to control otherpeople.
Just live your life period.
Live your life as long as youdon't harm anybody.
Yeah, Just live your life.
That's what freedom is supposedto be about.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
That's why living your own life without bothering
others.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Exactly.
Let them do what they're doingso.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
please tell us if you have different thoughts.
We'd like to know what thosethoughts are.
If you have comments, you havequestions, we'd be happy to go
into that more for you.
You have to start by liking,subscribing or following us
YouTube and on every otherplatform.
We have new episodes droppingevery Tuesday mornings, 6 am,
Central Standard Time.
(30:29):
So please join us and followthis adventure.
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