August 27, 2025 • 35 mins
Corey & Cori discuss how God's plan doesn't always align with ours.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery of podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
With your host, Corey Winfield, you know there was a
reason why that didn't work out, and you can look
back at it and go, yep, I'm glad that didn't
work out how I wanted it, because I wouldn't been
for got your abs. It is the twenty seventh of
August twenty twenty five. My name is Cory Winfield and
I'm Corey Smoker. You are the guest today. Are you
(00:31):
excited about that? Yeah? Nice? We talk about some stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I think that's good. It's just us checking in. We're
trying to get that podcast out there.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I guess yeah, that's what we're trying to do.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I just want to talk about God today and the
open kind of sums it up my day and how
that went today. I would like to thank God for
making my plans blow up. Let me rewind the tape here. Okay.
So we're going to start a new project and there's
another organization in town and we're gonna start it with them,
(01:07):
and we're excited about it. And today was the day
we were going to go do some things to start
the project, and I was pretty excited. At first. I
was like, I was bummed because we met early August
and then the date was set for August twenty seventh,
and I was like, Dan, that's so far away. Can
we do it tomorrow? And he's like, no, we'll do
it twenty seventh, okay, And I thought, you know what,
that is actually a good thing because that gives me
(01:29):
time to prepare and just to kind of figure out
what stuff we want to do with this project. And
so today ten o'clock I was supposed to meet for
the project and I was supposed to me didn't show
up obviously, not obviously, but he didn't show up, and
I was like, so I waited and I call him.
He thought it was at one. It was. It was
(01:51):
from ten to one is when we reserved this place
to do our thing. And then there's another person that
was supposed to come. And then I waited till like,
I don't know, I'm a ten thirty maybe if that
and that person never came. So I was like, all right,
well I'm out. I was crushed, like I couldn't even
sleep last night. I got two hours of sleep cause
something with weird my brain. But when it starts going
(02:14):
and I start thinking, and then I start thinking about
all the stuff I have to do for this project,
and then all the stuff I have to do outside
of the project, and then family and God and just
all the stuff, and I'm just like, oh my god.
So I could not sleep, and I was excited. It's
like Christmas morning. Well it's not quite as good as
fancy football, but I was very excited about it, and
so like, well, on the nerves of it, yeah, cause
(02:37):
I've been doubting myself, like, oh am I good enough
to do this stuff? Can we do it? I don't know?
And then I'm like, during that time from early August
to like late August August twenty seventh, I had the
time to go, No, I do actually know more than
then I get myself credit for. And I actually fell
into that by taking a class. Then I took these classes,
(02:58):
and I learned all this stuff and I didn't really
learn That's what I was like, Okay, maybe I know
more than I'm giving myself credit for. So I start
to get the confidence and I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
And the most important thing, and if I've said this
a million times but if you're starting a podcast or whatever,
start putting dates on things, because if you don't, it
(03:18):
becomes well, i'll do it next week. No. No, But if
you're like August twenty seventh, we're doing it. You got
to do it unless you're gonna I was gonna say,
bitch out on yourself, but I don't want to offend people, obviously,
but I said it anyway. So if you're offending whatever,
But I think.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
When you set the date for that goal or when
you're gonna do it or have it done by I
think that just gives you the more solidified date of.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That you're going to show up and do it.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, it moves it up, like it moves your planning
everything in your head. It just moves it up because
like we're doing it that day. The podcast is the
same way we start. It was in treatment. I was like, hey,
we get out, you know, let's start a podcast. I'm
gonna start a podcast. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna
do that, l l lah lah la. And then I
get out. And how I work is everything has to
(04:12):
be perfect before it takes off the ground. Like you
can't just send a test up there and hope, it's
got to be perfect. I have this guy at the
website that everything, and I didn't have any money. I
was just coming out of treatment. I have a job,
like I mean, it was it was a little difficult,
but we did it. And not before I was told
(04:33):
that I had disappointed somebody. Everyone picked this Ryan guy
up and brought him back to the house and he
was in room two seventeen after we were, but he
was still kind of a part of our crew and
he just was like he jumped in the car and
he was like, all right, I want to hear it.
And he was all geeked out and want to hear what,
you know, some trick daddy, Like what are you talking about?
He's like, no, your podcast. Oh, I'm still looking for
(04:57):
a website. And he just shot me this look man,
and this is just it's like like what and he's like, dude,
I'm so disappointed in you. What what are you talking about?
You know, like okay, but it lit the fire under
me to go okay. You know. When we got back
to the house, I s all right, we're starting a Saturday.
How about that. We're starting a Saturday. I don't care
if I have a website. If I have three microphones,
(05:18):
one I don't, I don't. We're starting at Saturday. We're
doing something Saturday. Yeah, And if I didn't do that,
we wouldn't have we wouldn't have almost a thousand episodes
to tell you that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And it's and it's about like obviously sometimes I tell you,
I'm like, well, it's better than nothing at all, right,
because I'm still learning when I do things or pictures
or videos or audio things.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
But that's what we hear and I'm practicing.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, but that's how you learn, you know. Now, if
you keep making these sticks over and over, then be like, okay,
well maybe you shouldn't do that, you know, like maybe
we can move you in a different direction and put
you in a different spot. Because everybody's valuable, like everybody's value.
Everybody has something that they're good at, and it's just
finding that niche or that what that you're good at.
Like you're a go getter and you're not afraid to fail,
like maybe you are, but you're gonna try it anyway,
(06:05):
and if you fail, you're gonna be like, damn, I tried.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh I'll try and if I'm not that good at it,
I'll keep doing it, but I cause I guess it's
a little part for me is kind of like I
tell you, Corey, it's like something out there promoting it
is better than nothing out there for my little videos
that I do, and I only I just do them
(06:28):
because you tell me that it's a better promotion.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I hear people say hey, I see in you or.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Then also, like on my Facebook, it gets other people
that maybe has also doubted my recovery journey or I
haven't kept track of or lost contact with that. Now
all of a sudden they're seeing it and they're like,
oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Look how far you come.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
And it's not about I want any credit like that.
It's just showing them like I'm just out here trying
to do the next thing and advocate or promote that
I'm having game night.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, and it might not even be someone you know
that sees something. You know. I don't know how you
keep your Facebook mind. I know like three people on there,
the rest I don't. I don't know. Well, I know
a couple of people on my Facebook, but I got
a lot of people on there, and I don't know
a lot of them. But those other people that could
come across your stuff that you may not know, but
they're like oh wow, and they come across your story
(07:26):
and they might have a problem and you could give
them a hope without even knowing. You know that. That's
what it's about, and that's why we do what we do.
There was a guy when I was in sober Living.
His name was Matt and he he I don't know
what his deal was. Jealousy's crazy, I guess, but he
was like, oh, yeah, you're and I'm in keep in mind,
I'm in sober Living. I'm working at Heartsy Grove and Potoski,
(07:48):
which is r V resort. I was making like, I
don't know, fourteen bucks an hour. I worked thirty hours
a week or I know. I wasn't rich, that's for sure.
But he said one day, he's like, yeah, that's gonna
be your downfall, Windfield. That's when you're gonna relapse because
all this fortune and fames go into your head. And
we started laughing, me and Ryan and Parker rest of
(08:11):
pees guy above. I mean, but anyway, we just start
dying laughing man, because we're like, wait, talking about how
much money we've paid for this podcast, like it's still
like we don't, we're not doing this to make money,
and maybe one day it's some clips and people reach
out and they're like, you have so many episodes, like
this is insane, Like you could put this out for
(08:34):
years and years and years and not even do another podcast.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
You could just I was like, yeah, but I think
even then, you're not doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
To get to get rich.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You would be putting it out there to put back
into to seventeen recovery, whether it's funding a ride, or
whether it's a meeting space, or whether it's somewhere where
you could do this podcast live with an audience, bigger people,
or you know what I mean. So I think that's
the difference of it. You're just like you always say,
(09:05):
I just.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Want to help people.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I do. And now keep in mind, I want to
live comfortable. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm gonna get
rich when I write my movie or finish writing my
movie and then shoot it and sell it. Or maybe
I wouldn't. Maybe I'll just keep it and just shoot it,
just watch it at my house by myself, will never
show it to anybody.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I could, oh, and then then it would go big
when you pass away and Parker.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Can have all the money.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I always said, if I had money when I was
in my active addiction, I would have died a long
time ago. Like I feel bad for rich people or
people if you know somebody with money and you're like,
oh no, big god, everything, No, just pump the brakes,
because addiction does not discriminate. It will to destroy your life.
It doesn't matter if you have money, but to have
money obviously, like me, I ran out of money because
(09:52):
then I couldn't keep a job because well I was
drinking all the time. And I just think that it's
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Money changes people. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That it does, but it's not. It's not the like, yes,
we love living comfortable, yeah, you know, And I don't
even say I don't even I'm not trying to say
I'm rich or anything, but like it's nice to have
a wife who's responsible and has taught me, Hey, this
is how you rebuild your credit. That's how you do
like all of that falls into it, you know. And
some people like, oh you got some myself, Well yeah,
(10:25):
well I because of my wife had me fix my credit.
I was able to get a credit card that had
no interest for a year and a half. You can
buy stuff on that one, you know, like because normally,
like when we use a credit card, we will and
we'll pay it right off because we don't want to
pay interest. Because you start doing that, you're just a
brac And then you just pay for a bunch of
stuff and they'll give you cash back points. And I
(10:47):
know I might be talking like crazy stuff to someone
who is in early recovery. Is like, my credit score
is like six hundred, what are you talking about? Trust me?
Just stick with it and you can if you need help,
reach out Corey c r I at seventeen recovery dot com.
We'll get you in touch or some budgeting or some
kind of credit rebuilding process will definitely help you. But
(11:09):
but that's but that's what people seeither oh Cory got
no camera or Corey did this. Well, no, Corey had
fixed his credit and I think Corey's got it. See
now I got to offload it to another card that
has a year and a half no interest. But that's
how you do it. You don't pay the interest and
you get the points back and oh here's three percent back.
It adds up.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
But I think it's not even about living comfortable per se, right,
it's about we're just living responsible. Yeah, we're a little
bit more responsible than when we first got sober, and
definitely when we're using right, I.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Mean, I never had money.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
We're not comfortable enough to be like, oh well, if
everything went south, we'd be good for a year. No,
we'd be the same, you know. So, but it is
nice to look comfortable to do things, and I like
being able to do that for people here, you know.
And that's why I think that we can make a difference,
(12:09):
because somebody that's doing your job deserves to get paid,
you know, Like, yeah, I see some of these others
went down in southwest Michigan. They were paying people twelve
dollars an hour. Obviously nobody works there.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
How do you even survive?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But how could you keep anybody good? Right? Because if
I'm sober, I'm in recovery, I'm doing my thing. I'm
not trying to make twelve dollars an hour. I want
to help some people. Sure, And when I started out, yeah,
I just talked about I was making fourteen dollars an
hour there. But that was like a no pressure job
that I could just go to and be a pickle.
As our friend Tony said.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well we need that in the beginning.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No brainer, not no chaos, just a job that's very
super easy but also just picks up busy work for.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Us, right, But not the treatment center. I would say
probably for twelve dollars an hour, But I don't know.
I worked at a treatment center when I first got well,
not when I first got out of the treatment. There was
some time in there because I didn't want to work there.
We refer to it as the nasty Chinese restaurant. Tell
that story in a minute. It's a good one. But
with the with that, I knew that it was getting
(13:22):
to me, the working there and the way they ran
the place. And I said to myself, I can't work
here more, like I can't support that mission, Like that's
not helping people and I want to help people, and
so I can't work anymore. And but who's I mean?
That was my fifteenth time through treatment, you know, so
(13:42):
like I had built up some callouses. I've kind of learned, Okay,
well listen what you do here and this is what
you do here is but like if someone who's just
coming in, like I don't know that that would be
scary to me.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, I don't know. I think also to it takes
a certain individual to work in a treatment center.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I did it.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
I did the women's Obviously, I don't I You couldn't
pay me enough to go back and do that again.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, no, not twelve hours an hour? No, And that's
the problem, you know, and figure it out.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
But back to the stiless story.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, let's go to the fun story here. And then
we got to talk about got for a minute or two.
But no, the story about the Chinese restaurant is the
streatment center that I went to that wasn't a big
fan of Obviously. I just mentioned that, and I also
mentioned that I worked there. But we were in it
was some city, And how we got to the city
was our friend Tyrone had jumped in the car with Joey,
(14:50):
a guy who had lived there at the sober living
house I was managing, and they were like, hey, let's
go up to the store, which is right down the road,
and they ended up taking him like forty minutes away
to some meeting. And they thought it was hilarious that
they like kidnapped him and took him to a meeting.
And they thought it was great. So Joey gets in
the car and without really even saying anything, we just
(15:10):
looked at each other and we're like, yep, kidnap. And
I don't remember where we went. It was like an
hour and a half away. Like he was so pissed
because he was like, I got stuff to do. Guys,
We're like, well, I guess the meeting today is is
what you're doing? And then we went to a Chinese
restaurant afterward and it was gross, and there was this
woman who was up at the buffet. She's getting food,
(15:35):
that's what they do. Kind of rolled your eyes a
little bit, like you were disappointed in the story how
it started. So there's a woman at the buffet getting food, okay,
and you're gonna roll your eyes like something bad happened.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I just I can only imagine.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Okay, well it's exactly what you thought. So you were
sitting there and I think Joey was next to me
or I can't remember how who was where, but he
notices the woman at the buffet and apparently the workout
that she does on her backside, Joey thought it made
it look really attractive. So Joey says to us, oh
(16:09):
my God, guys, there's something to this. I can't remember
exactly word for it, but he said, damn that girl's ass.
We look well. Meanwhile, the bodybuilder boyfriend was right behind Joey.
He was standing there right behind him doing something, and
(16:31):
he like looked at Joey and we were just like, oh, boy, Like,
let's because he heard that? Yeah, and it was. It
was pretty funny though, because we were just like, oh
my god, what'd you say?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Joey?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Wait? Look at what Joey. You know, because we were
all two seventeenth out, you know, like, how awkward can
we make this for Joey now?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
And he's kidnap?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, he can't even run to the car because he
doesn't have the keys.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It's not his Can I ask? Did he ever kidnap anybody? Again? No?
I didn't like it being done to him.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Uh no, I guess not. Yeah, he left. He was like,
I want to start the podcast and you can go
back and listen to episodes from then. That would have
been twenty twenty, but the two seventeen app. Actually our
website does too, but you have to scroll back kind
of far. But if you have the two seventeen app,
you can go back pretty easy. But joey'soun some of them.
(17:20):
I think punching a kangaroo was one of them. I
think that was the name of the episode, something about
punching a kangaroo. Do you know what that means? No? Okay, good,
I'm not telling you that's great? Are my employee? I
can't do that, that's good?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I don't think I I can only imagine.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Ask your husband, Jesse. I didn't even know it until
they I was like, what, and there's not? Oh okay,
but yeah, go back and listen to that one punching
the clown or punch the clown.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Something like that clown or kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Those two of them. Because Chris talked about punching the kangaroo.
I think it was the clown punching the clown.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I guess I think I'm gonna go back and listen
to it first. Well, I get never. I'll just listen
to it. Go from there, get home, put it on
while I'm taking a nice crap cleaning or cleaning.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Let's put it in my earpod.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
How come women don't talk about crapping as much as
men do.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
I don't know, because it's just crapping, like you just
go and take a shit and you're out.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I mean, I have four dogs staring at me.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Take your dogs in the bathroom with you.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
They bust the door down. So it's just.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
It's like, come on, when as soon as I get home,
I have four dogs following me everywhere.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I have a one year old that does that.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Well.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I used to have just a child in the bathroom
staring at me too, and then she would get you know,
because now you're stuck on the toilet pooping, and now
she's pulling things out.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Of the drawers and the bottom of the cupboards.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
And I'm glad we finally got to the bottom of
why women don't talk about pooping obviously, because they're worried
about all the other stuff that's gonna go wrong. They
got to get in now, especially once.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
You become a mom, you're unless someone else is either
home with you. I mean, you can't even trust when
they're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Does that make Does that make women not stereotyping men
by assuming all men take forever in the bathroom. But
I gotta check my fantasy, you know, I gotta that's
the stuff I gotta do. Check cameras, check drones.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, with that options kind of obsolete.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Women don't do that though.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
No, you don't have time.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Huh. But that doesn't make you jealous of men. No,
not like man, he's in there just taking the sweet
ass time.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
M only once in a while, what I'm ready to
go and all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Like go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
No like leave because Jesse's learned some hard lessons, like
he he just never if you're walking out the door
and you feel a little feel, you go back what happened? Well,
I mean, oh, there's this once upon a time that
he was on.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I felt so bad for him. He was on these
diuretics and I mean he was on.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Like sorry, me and Parker here more.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And then you love that party coming in all it's
like five thousand milligrams, so you had to take a day.
So everything that went in just didn't sustain in the body.
So we had you.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
We just don't pass up good bathrooms, so or any bathroom.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Actually, especially after we had to break into one of
someone's house, we knew we don't really break in.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
We just went in poop he did.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, yeah, we have the crew here, poop and crew.
But I'm glad that that you were willing to talk
about that today. I didn't want to talking about God too,
So we go from pooping and women talking about pooping
it's nothing to do with this episode, to God. Yeah,
(21:36):
and today I started kind of going into about how
my day was thrown off in scotting him. But everything
happens for a reason. And I was disappointed when I left,
when I was like, we're not going to do the
project or even begin it today, and I'm disappointed, and
oh there was another person that didn't show up or whatever,
and I was like, Okay, well, I don't know, maybe
(21:57):
i'll email that person later. And I figured out I
was driving back and I'm just thinking, like, why didn't
God want that to happen at because it was at
a church as we were a meeting. I'm like, why
didn't he want that to happen at his church? Like
what's going on? But then I get back here and
I started in on doing other stuff that I'm supposed
to do, and then the other person comes and then
they're like hey, and they were given the wrong time too,
(22:20):
so there was like definitely a time issue thing, and
it's just perfect. It happened exactly I was supposed to go.
When that person came, we had this really good conversation
for a couple hours I think, yeah, and him cried
a little bit, But it all goes back to faith
and having faith in God. And God's brought me this far,
(22:42):
and I'm not going to throw out there he brought
me this for He's not going to fail me now.
Because the Lord giveth, the Lord can take it away.
And I'm not trying to stay up here trying to
say hey, no. I'm trying to say, though, is that
there's a reason that that happened. And there's a reason
that it's beyond my concept of even knowing of why
(23:05):
it happened that way or why I had to talk
to the person that I talked to for so long
today and it was just it was good and it
went better than if we actually would have done the project. Yeah,
just for me and my soul. Like as a person
like me, as a person likes to do work in
projects and stuff, I'd be like no, no, no, I
would rather But for me, my soul, I think I
(23:25):
needed that more today.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I think so because when you came, when you came back,
you were you were very disappointed, you were upset and
I think it's because you were It's more about just
being disappointed that were hurt that it didn't happen, because
you've been looking you really, you have been looking forward
to this even though and then it's the nerves and
all that, and they're sleeping and so then all that
(23:49):
it rushes in and it comes to play and then
like you were feeling, you were just saying, You're like,
now I'm drained.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Now I'm tired.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Now I'm because it's like all them emotions come in
and then they go out, and then it's just like
you're kind of blah after that.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So I wasn't tired until I got back here, and
I was just like, oh, but it's because all that
excitement is gone and it's just like I slept two
hours last night. Oh wait I did.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It was like like I told you, what can we do?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Where?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What can we do now? And that's why I said
I want to do a podcasts.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Nope, because at that time I was not ready to
do a podcast. But after my conversation with Tony or whatever,
it was great. So I was like, yeah, no, it
happened in the way I was supposed to. I got
peeling face going on which I'm not excited about. I
had a facial, not like the movies like the people
(24:44):
watch on their phones and stuff, but like a facial
like with acid or something. I don't know what it is.
It burns the skin off your face.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
From the dermatologists.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, I didn't look for her license. I should have,
but it again, that's another reason why maybe it wasn't
supposed to be today. Maybe that was that was God's thing. Man,
He was like, no, not today, No you want to,
but you're gonna wait.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And maybe there's something bigger right coming out of it.
We don't know, or maybe it was just that you.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
It really was that you needed that that talk with
that person you know and your soul to you know,
just state where you are. Because you were also laughing too,
which was good for us to hear because knowing that
you were hurt and disappointed when you got back here
and then to hear you guys laughing and that other
(25:40):
person their laugh is just you can't help but kind
of giggle too.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah, yeah, it was. It was good. And so just
if you have those things not go your way and yeah,
but this is the biggest day ever. This is the
biggest just pose it, pump the brakes because you might
look back one day and thank God that that didn't
go that way, or you know, we were talking about
(26:08):
something in Mitch was saying his mom was almost at
the walmart here in Traverse City when the stabbing happened
and she needed to go to pick up a prescription
or something. But then there was some other stuff that
happened and it derailed her and she ended up going
that day. But that's a good thing. Even though that
day she was pissed because she wanted to go pick
up her prescription so that she didn't have to mess
with it the next day. But in reality she's like, whoa,
(26:29):
I'm glad I had to do with that other bs.
But at the time she was like pissed.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Well, yeah, and I think we, well, most of us,
that happens, right, We.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Have a plan, especially me. I mean, your husband's the
same way.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
This is the plan, and I don't want something diverts
me from that plan.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It's the worst thing ever, but there's you.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Know, for whatever reason, there's reasons that that it happens.
I'm not all he's looking at them reasons right then
or thankful. Most of the time, I can just kind
of carry on and go with the flow. But there's
times I get I get frustrated too, and then I
fight it and then I waste more energy then.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But I have I guess four months of seven years
and I still have not thought about drinking as a
way to solve a frustration or an anger, or a
disappointment or a heartbreak or a loss whatever. I have
(27:36):
not one time has it popped into my brain. Hey man,
let's go get drunk now.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
That's a good thing for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Even when Martie and I had our first fight and
it was misunderstanding, but like we slept in different rooms
that night, like I was like, and she was like.
And I drove to a meeting of an hour and
a half away the next day because I was like,
I'm still films some kind of why. I knew to
go hit a meeting. So I did, and it was
on my way back, I hit two meetings, I ad
(28:04):
AA and then at NA. On the way home, that's
when it hit me that, oh, my god, dude, you
did not one time think about drinking. Old me would
have been, oh, this is all your fault. You made
me drink because you said this, and I did this
and it's your fault. This one was like no, no, no.
And then I got back and I was excited and
I was like Marnie, oh my god, like look, I
just realized, like I did not want to. But early on,
(28:25):
when you when you make those I don't want to
those huge changes, they're monumental, they're huge. And when you
can notice that you didn't think about drinking, holy shit,
Like it's like mind blowing. It's working. It's like when
you start a diet and then two months later you
(28:46):
jump on the scale and you lost twenty pounds, like shit,
it's working. You don't see it every day, but it's working,
you know, and you're eating healthier, you know, like if
you're eating ice cream every day and nachos and French
fries or whatever, what do you think is going to happen?
But if you're being responsible responsible, But if you're just
eating healthy you know, chicken, you're putting.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
In that little effort of work into it. And and
it's everything that we do in life recovery, being in shape,
eating a better and sometimes eating a different diet. It
might not all be about just to lose weight or this.
It might be about because some foods affect.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Me a certain way, or I break out in a
reaction when.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I eat I think people like when people eat bread
or they eat certain type of nuts like peanut butter.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh, that went the wrong way anyways.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Sometimes they assume all black people are from African and America.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Y'ad just sometimes changes my words around.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
And that's how you know you're special.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yep, I'm not perfect. I's got to practice that.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Favorite drop of but I had to hit it sparingly. Yeah,
and make sure I'm deep into the episodes so people
understand us.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah, I won't ever live that one down.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
I think you have to explain it every time, don't you?
Or don't you there you are? Don't you?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I don't want to Nope.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
There's an episode with Marnie.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
She left me solo out there.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I think she had to go change Parker in the
bedroom and then you were out there and just got
to go in.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I was trying to explain this training that we were at, and.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I was like being like, I don't know, not very
friendly or I was like trying to be I don't
know what I was trying to do. I was trying
to be something I'm sure as He's the one.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
That I got to sit there all day with Jesse
and Parker and have fun. And me and Marnie have
to go and put on our face and two seventeen
recovery and eat this rapp Peek cafeteria food that wasn't
lancing or something, wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I have no idea where this was.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
No Jackson, didn't we do it? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Because then we did the escape room. Yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Wells we got out thanks to Marnie, I think and
everybody else. I didn't do anything. The first couple of minutes,
I'm like, I can do this. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
This is the first couple of minutes. It was dark,
and when Parker starts crying, we were like, I don't know.
That was fun, but it's a lot. Yeah, look for
this over here in this hole in the wall, and
then this and I don't know how to read between
the lines.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Sometimes we shouldn't started hitting the clue button right from
the start. All right, what's next, what's next? What's next?
Because some of that stuff was like we're looking all
over dumb stuff now. But we did it, and we
have fun. That part was fun, and that's what I
hope you take away from this podcast is sometimes you
(31:46):
might not think you're having a good time, but really
on the other end, you are. You just don't know
it yet.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
I like something that you said today, You said, why
am I not having a good day?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Maybe I am, and I just don't know it.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, I did say that, didn't im because it could
be a lot worse. I guarantee you there's millions of
people out there right now that would trade places with
me in a heartbeat, right now, at this very minute,
and I know that I appreciate it, and I have health,
and I appreciate all the stuff that God's done for
me and that he allowed me to make it through
(32:22):
the addiction to alcohol and to have an actual life
and to be married and to have a son, and
it's pretty cool. So God, thank you, because I could
have done it without God.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
No me neither. I am.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Just like all the stuff that has happened over my
time in sobriety ten and a half years, it just
I didn't have God. I I definitely probably wouldn't be
here right now either. And right now I'm kind of
going through this whole really trying to lean into my
(33:00):
God of my understanding and rely on him to, I
don't know, kind of show me some relief or guidance
on I mean, my daughter's gonna be eighteen and less
than thirty days, and I'm in the process of kind
of writing a blog about this about how you know,
I've been saying for all these years, almost eighteen years,
(33:23):
I've been saying, I can't wait until she's eighteen and
I'm free and.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I'm gonna do what I want. And now I'm just, honestly,
the more and more I'm fucking scared.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
For her or for you all above Just all you
know is you have a scared feeling.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yeah, yeah, because I definitely can't save her protector.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I have to let her go fully.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Or you could buy some chains. Well you don't have
a basement yet, me buy some shovels.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
I'm not trying to get kidnapping.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What's your kid something you Yeah, you can kidnap your
kidne yet offser When I put the chain's honors, who's seventeen? Yeah,
I lost the key? Oops. Yeah, Well, the scared thing
(34:25):
is something that I definitely can relate to, but that'll
have to be saved for another episode. But God, thank
you I know you're listening. You're a big fan. Well,
thank you for everything you've done in my life and
the way it's turned around. As the Lord, I give
you the credit me too.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Thanks Day of sobriety.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
And until next time, peas out checking your Thanks for
listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to over
nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery app that's
free in your app store or online at two seventeen Recovery,
The Dumm
Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery of podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
With your host, Corey Winfield, you know there was a
reason why that didn't work out, and you can look
back at it and go, yep, I'm glad that didn't
work out how I wanted it, because I wouldn't been
for got your abs. It is the twenty seventh of
August twenty twenty five. My name is Cory Winfield and
I'm Corey Smoker. You are the guest today. Are you
(00:31):
excited about that? Yeah? Nice? We talk about some stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I think that's good. It's just us checking in. We're
trying to get that podcast out there.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I guess yeah, that's what we're trying to do.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I just want to talk about God today and the
open kind of sums it up my day and how
that went today. I would like to thank God for
making my plans blow up. Let me rewind the tape here. Okay.
So we're going to start a new project and there's
another organization in town and we're gonna start it with them,
(01:07):
and we're excited about it. And today was the day
we were going to go do some things to start
the project, and I was pretty excited. At first. I
was like, I was bummed because we met early August
and then the date was set for August twenty seventh,
and I was like, Dan, that's so far away. Can
we do it tomorrow? And he's like, no, we'll do
it twenty seventh, okay, And I thought, you know what,
that is actually a good thing because that gives me
(01:29):
time to prepare and just to kind of figure out
what stuff we want to do with this project. And
so today ten o'clock I was supposed to meet for
the project and I was supposed to me didn't show
up obviously, not obviously, but he didn't show up, and
I was like, so I waited and I call him.
He thought it was at one. It was. It was
(01:51):
from ten to one is when we reserved this place
to do our thing. And then there's another person that
was supposed to come. And then I waited till like,
I don't know, I'm a ten thirty maybe if that
and that person never came. So I was like, all right,
well I'm out. I was crushed, like I couldn't even
sleep last night. I got two hours of sleep cause
something with weird my brain. But when it starts going
(02:14):
and I start thinking, and then I start thinking about
all the stuff I have to do for this project,
and then all the stuff I have to do outside
of the project, and then family and God and just
all the stuff, and I'm just like, oh my god.
So I could not sleep, and I was excited. It's
like Christmas morning. Well it's not quite as good as
fancy football, but I was very excited about it, and
so like, well, on the nerves of it, yeah, cause
(02:37):
I've been doubting myself, like, oh am I good enough
to do this stuff? Can we do it? I don't know?
And then I'm like, during that time from early August
to like late August August twenty seventh, I had the
time to go, No, I do actually know more than
then I get myself credit for. And I actually fell
into that by taking a class. Then I took these classes,
(02:58):
and I learned all this stuff and I didn't really
learn That's what I was like, Okay, maybe I know
more than I'm giving myself credit for. So I start
to get the confidence and I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
And the most important thing, and if I've said this
a million times but if you're starting a podcast or whatever,
start putting dates on things, because if you don't, it
(03:18):
becomes well, i'll do it next week. No. No, But if
you're like August twenty seventh, we're doing it. You got
to do it unless you're gonna I was gonna say,
bitch out on yourself, but I don't want to offend people, obviously,
but I said it anyway. So if you're offending whatever,
But I think.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
When you set the date for that goal or when
you're gonna do it or have it done by I
think that just gives you the more solidified date of.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That you're going to show up and do it.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, it moves it up, like it moves your planning
everything in your head. It just moves it up because
like we're doing it that day. The podcast is the
same way we start. It was in treatment. I was like, hey,
we get out, you know, let's start a podcast. I'm
gonna start a podcast. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna
do that, l l lah lah la. And then I
get out. And how I work is everything has to
(04:12):
be perfect before it takes off the ground. Like you
can't just send a test up there and hope, it's
got to be perfect. I have this guy at the
website that everything, and I didn't have any money. I
was just coming out of treatment. I have a job,
like I mean, it was it was a little difficult,
but we did it. And not before I was told
(04:33):
that I had disappointed somebody. Everyone picked this Ryan guy
up and brought him back to the house and he
was in room two seventeen after we were, but he
was still kind of a part of our crew and
he just was like he jumped in the car and
he was like, all right, I want to hear it.
And he was all geeked out and want to hear what,
you know, some trick daddy, Like what are you talking about?
He's like, no, your podcast. Oh, I'm still looking for
(04:57):
a website. And he just shot me this look man,
and this is just it's like like what and he's like, dude,
I'm so disappointed in you. What what are you talking about?
You know, like okay, but it lit the fire under
me to go okay. You know. When we got back
to the house, I s all right, we're starting a Saturday.
How about that. We're starting a Saturday. I don't care
if I have a website. If I have three microphones,
(05:18):
one I don't, I don't. We're starting at Saturday. We're
doing something Saturday. Yeah, And if I didn't do that,
we wouldn't have we wouldn't have almost a thousand episodes
to tell you that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And it's and it's about like obviously sometimes I tell you,
I'm like, well, it's better than nothing at all, right,
because I'm still learning when I do things or pictures
or videos or audio things.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
But that's what we hear and I'm practicing.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, but that's how you learn, you know. Now, if
you keep making these sticks over and over, then be like, okay,
well maybe you shouldn't do that, you know, like maybe
we can move you in a different direction and put
you in a different spot. Because everybody's valuable, like everybody's value.
Everybody has something that they're good at, and it's just
finding that niche or that what that you're good at.
Like you're a go getter and you're not afraid to fail,
like maybe you are, but you're gonna try it anyway,
(06:05):
and if you fail, you're gonna be like, damn, I tried.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh I'll try and if I'm not that good at it,
I'll keep doing it, but I cause I guess it's
a little part for me is kind of like I
tell you, Corey, it's like something out there promoting it
is better than nothing out there for my little videos
that I do, and I only I just do them
(06:28):
because you tell me that it's a better promotion.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I hear people say hey, I see in you or.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Then also, like on my Facebook, it gets other people
that maybe has also doubted my recovery journey or I
haven't kept track of or lost contact with that. Now
all of a sudden they're seeing it and they're like,
oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Look how far you come.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
And it's not about I want any credit like that.
It's just showing them like I'm just out here trying
to do the next thing and advocate or promote that
I'm having game night.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, and it might not even be someone you know
that sees something. You know. I don't know how you
keep your Facebook mind. I know like three people on there,
the rest I don't. I don't know. Well, I know
a couple of people on my Facebook, but I got
a lot of people on there, and I don't know
a lot of them. But those other people that could
come across your stuff that you may not know, but
they're like oh wow, and they come across your story
(07:26):
and they might have a problem and you could give
them a hope without even knowing. You know that. That's
what it's about, and that's why we do what we do.
There was a guy when I was in sober Living.
His name was Matt and he he I don't know
what his deal was. Jealousy's crazy, I guess, but he
was like, oh, yeah, you're and I'm in keep in mind,
I'm in sober Living. I'm working at Heartsy Grove and Potoski,
(07:48):
which is r V resort. I was making like, I
don't know, fourteen bucks an hour. I worked thirty hours
a week or I know. I wasn't rich, that's for sure.
But he said one day, he's like, yeah, that's gonna
be your downfall, Windfield. That's when you're gonna relapse because
all this fortune and fames go into your head. And
we started laughing, me and Ryan and Parker rest of
(08:11):
pees guy above. I mean, but anyway, we just start
dying laughing man, because we're like, wait, talking about how
much money we've paid for this podcast, like it's still
like we don't, we're not doing this to make money,
and maybe one day it's some clips and people reach
out and they're like, you have so many episodes, like
this is insane, Like you could put this out for
(08:34):
years and years and years and not even do another podcast.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
You could just I was like, yeah, but I think
even then, you're not doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
To get to get rich.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You would be putting it out there to put back
into to seventeen recovery, whether it's funding a ride, or
whether it's a meeting space, or whether it's somewhere where
you could do this podcast live with an audience, bigger people,
or you know what I mean. So I think that's
the difference of it. You're just like you always say,
(09:05):
I just.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Want to help people.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I do. And now keep in mind, I want to
live comfortable. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm gonna get
rich when I write my movie or finish writing my
movie and then shoot it and sell it. Or maybe
I wouldn't. Maybe I'll just keep it and just shoot it,
just watch it at my house by myself, will never
show it to anybody.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I could, oh, and then then it would go big
when you pass away and Parker.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Can have all the money.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I always said, if I had money when I was
in my active addiction, I would have died a long
time ago. Like I feel bad for rich people or
people if you know somebody with money and you're like,
oh no, big god, everything, No, just pump the brakes,
because addiction does not discriminate. It will to destroy your life.
It doesn't matter if you have money, but to have
money obviously, like me, I ran out of money because
(09:52):
then I couldn't keep a job because well I was
drinking all the time. And I just think that it's
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Money changes people. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
That it does, but it's not. It's not the like, yes,
we love living comfortable, yeah, you know, And I don't
even say I don't even I'm not trying to say
I'm rich or anything, but like it's nice to have
a wife who's responsible and has taught me, Hey, this
is how you rebuild your credit. That's how you do
like all of that falls into it, you know. And
some people like, oh you got some myself, Well yeah,
(10:25):
well I because of my wife had me fix my credit.
I was able to get a credit card that had
no interest for a year and a half. You can
buy stuff on that one, you know, like because normally,
like when we use a credit card, we will and
we'll pay it right off because we don't want to
pay interest. Because you start doing that, you're just a
brac And then you just pay for a bunch of
stuff and they'll give you cash back points. And I
(10:47):
know I might be talking like crazy stuff to someone
who is in early recovery. Is like, my credit score
is like six hundred, what are you talking about? Trust me?
Just stick with it and you can if you need help,
reach out Corey c r I at seventeen recovery dot com.
We'll get you in touch or some budgeting or some
kind of credit rebuilding process will definitely help you. But
(11:09):
but that's but that's what people seeither oh Cory got
no camera or Corey did this. Well, no, Corey had
fixed his credit and I think Corey's got it. See
now I got to offload it to another card that
has a year and a half no interest. But that's
how you do it. You don't pay the interest and
you get the points back and oh here's three percent back.
It adds up.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
But I think it's not even about living comfortable per se, right,
it's about we're just living responsible. Yeah, we're a little
bit more responsible than when we first got sober, and
definitely when we're using right, I.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Mean, I never had money.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
We're not comfortable enough to be like, oh well, if
everything went south, we'd be good for a year. No,
we'd be the same, you know. So, but it is
nice to look comfortable to do things, and I like
being able to do that for people here, you know.
And that's why I think that we can make a difference,
(12:09):
because somebody that's doing your job deserves to get paid,
you know, Like, yeah, I see some of these others
went down in southwest Michigan. They were paying people twelve
dollars an hour. Obviously nobody works there.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
How do you even survive?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
But how could you keep anybody good? Right? Because if
I'm sober, I'm in recovery, I'm doing my thing. I'm
not trying to make twelve dollars an hour. I want
to help some people. Sure, And when I started out, yeah,
I just talked about I was making fourteen dollars an
hour there. But that was like a no pressure job
that I could just go to and be a pickle.
As our friend Tony said.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well we need that in the beginning.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No brainer, not no chaos, just a job that's very
super easy but also just picks up busy work for.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Us, right, But not the treatment center. I would say
probably for twelve dollars an hour, But I don't know.
I worked at a treatment center when I first got well,
not when I first got out of the treatment. There was
some time in there because I didn't want to work there.
We refer to it as the nasty Chinese restaurant. Tell
that story in a minute. It's a good one. But
with the with that, I knew that it was getting
(13:22):
to me, the working there and the way they ran
the place. And I said to myself, I can't work
here more, like I can't support that mission, Like that's
not helping people and I want to help people, and
so I can't work anymore. And but who's I mean?
That was my fifteenth time through treatment, you know, so
(13:42):
like I had built up some callouses. I've kind of learned, Okay,
well listen what you do here and this is what
you do here is but like if someone who's just
coming in, like I don't know that that would be
scary to me.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, I don't know. I think also to it takes
a certain individual to work in a treatment center.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I did it.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
I did the women's Obviously, I don't I You couldn't
pay me enough to go back and do that again.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, no, not twelve hours an hour? No, And that's
the problem, you know, and figure it out.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
But back to the stiless story.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, let's go to the fun story here. And then
we got to talk about got for a minute or two.
But no, the story about the Chinese restaurant is the
streatment center that I went to that wasn't a big
fan of Obviously. I just mentioned that, and I also
mentioned that I worked there. But we were in it
was some city, And how we got to the city
was our friend Tyrone had jumped in the car with Joey,
(14:50):
a guy who had lived there at the sober living
house I was managing, and they were like, hey, let's
go up to the store, which is right down the road,
and they ended up taking him like forty minutes away
to some meeting. And they thought it was hilarious that
they like kidnapped him and took him to a meeting.
And they thought it was great. So Joey gets in
the car and without really even saying anything, we just
(15:10):
looked at each other and we're like, yep, kidnap. And
I don't remember where we went. It was like an
hour and a half away. Like he was so pissed
because he was like, I got stuff to do. Guys,
We're like, well, I guess the meeting today is is
what you're doing? And then we went to a Chinese
restaurant afterward and it was gross, and there was this
woman who was up at the buffet. She's getting food,
(15:35):
that's what they do. Kind of rolled your eyes a
little bit, like you were disappointed in the story how
it started. So there's a woman at the buffet getting food, okay,
and you're gonna roll your eyes like something bad happened.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I just I can only imagine.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Okay, well it's exactly what you thought. So you were
sitting there and I think Joey was next to me
or I can't remember how who was where, but he
notices the woman at the buffet and apparently the workout
that she does on her backside, Joey thought it made
it look really attractive. So Joey says to us, oh
(16:09):
my God, guys, there's something to this. I can't remember
exactly word for it, but he said, damn that girl's ass.
We look well. Meanwhile, the bodybuilder boyfriend was right behind Joey.
He was standing there right behind him doing something, and
(16:31):
he like looked at Joey and we were just like, oh, boy, Like,
let's because he heard that? Yeah, and it was. It
was pretty funny though, because we were just like, oh
my god, what'd you say?
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Joey?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Wait? Look at what Joey. You know, because we were
all two seventeenth out, you know, like, how awkward can
we make this for Joey now?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
And he's kidnap?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, he can't even run to the car because he
doesn't have the keys.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It's not his Can I ask? Did he ever kidnap anybody? Again? No?
I didn't like it being done to him.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Uh no, I guess not. Yeah, he left. He was like,
I want to start the podcast and you can go
back and listen to episodes from then. That would have
been twenty twenty, but the two seventeen app. Actually our
website does too, but you have to scroll back kind
of far. But if you have the two seventeen app,
you can go back pretty easy. But joey'soun some of them.
(17:20):
I think punching a kangaroo was one of them. I
think that was the name of the episode, something about
punching a kangaroo. Do you know what that means? No? Okay, good,
I'm not telling you that's great? Are my employee? I
can't do that, that's good?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I don't think I I can only imagine.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Ask your husband, Jesse. I didn't even know it until
they I was like, what, and there's not? Oh okay,
but yeah, go back and listen to that one punching
the clown or punch the clown.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Something like that clown or kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Those two of them. Because Chris talked about punching the kangaroo.
I think it was the clown punching the clown.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I guess I think I'm gonna go back and listen
to it first. Well, I get never. I'll just listen
to it. Go from there, get home, put it on
while I'm taking a nice crap cleaning or cleaning.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Let's put it in my earpod.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
How come women don't talk about crapping as much as
men do.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
I don't know, because it's just crapping, like you just
go and take a shit and you're out.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I mean, I have four dogs staring at me.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Take your dogs in the bathroom with you.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
They bust the door down. So it's just.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
It's like, come on, when as soon as I get home,
I have four dogs following me everywhere.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I have a one year old that does that.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Well.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I used to have just a child in the bathroom
staring at me too, and then she would get you know,
because now you're stuck on the toilet pooping, and now
she's pulling things out.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Of the drawers and the bottom of the cupboards.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
And I'm glad we finally got to the bottom of
why women don't talk about pooping obviously, because they're worried
about all the other stuff that's gonna go wrong. They
got to get in now, especially once.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
You become a mom, you're unless someone else is either
home with you. I mean, you can't even trust when
they're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Does that make Does that make women not stereotyping men
by assuming all men take forever in the bathroom. But
I gotta check my fantasy, you know, I gotta that's
the stuff I gotta do. Check cameras, check drones.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, with that options kind of obsolete.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Women don't do that though.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
No, you don't have time.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Huh. But that doesn't make you jealous of men. No,
not like man, he's in there just taking the sweet
ass time.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
M only once in a while, what I'm ready to
go and all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Like go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
No like leave because Jesse's learned some hard lessons, like
he he just never if you're walking out the door
and you feel a little feel, you go back what happened? Well,
I mean, oh, there's this once upon a time that
he was on.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I felt so bad for him. He was on these
diuretics and I mean he was on.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Like sorry, me and Parker here more.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And then you love that party coming in all it's
like five thousand milligrams, so you had to take a day.
So everything that went in just didn't sustain in the body.
So we had you.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
We just don't pass up good bathrooms, so or any bathroom.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Actually, especially after we had to break into one of
someone's house, we knew we don't really break in.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
We just went in poop he did.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, yeah, we have the crew here, poop and crew.
But I'm glad that that you were willing to talk
about that today. I didn't want to talking about God too,
So we go from pooping and women talking about pooping
it's nothing to do with this episode, to God. Yeah,
(21:36):
and today I started kind of going into about how
my day was thrown off in scotting him. But everything
happens for a reason. And I was disappointed when I left,
when I was like, we're not going to do the
project or even begin it today, and I'm disappointed, and
oh there was another person that didn't show up or whatever,
and I was like, Okay, well, I don't know, maybe
(21:57):
i'll email that person later. And I figured out I
was driving back and I'm just thinking, like, why didn't
God want that to happen at because it was at
a church as we were a meeting. I'm like, why
didn't he want that to happen at his church? Like
what's going on? But then I get back here and
I started in on doing other stuff that I'm supposed
to do, and then the other person comes and then
they're like hey, and they were given the wrong time too,
(22:20):
so there was like definitely a time issue thing, and
it's just perfect. It happened exactly I was supposed to go.
When that person came, we had this really good conversation
for a couple hours I think, yeah, and him cried
a little bit, But it all goes back to faith
and having faith in God. And God's brought me this far,
(22:42):
and I'm not going to throw out there he brought
me this for He's not going to fail me now.
Because the Lord giveth, the Lord can take it away.
And I'm not trying to stay up here trying to
say hey, no. I'm trying to say, though, is that
there's a reason that that happened. And there's a reason
that it's beyond my concept of even knowing of why
(23:05):
it happened that way or why I had to talk
to the person that I talked to for so long
today and it was just it was good and it
went better than if we actually would have done the project. Yeah,
just for me and my soul. Like as a person
like me, as a person likes to do work in
projects and stuff, I'd be like no, no, no, I
would rather But for me, my soul, I think I
(23:25):
needed that more today.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I think so because when you came, when you came back,
you were you were very disappointed, you were upset and
I think it's because you were It's more about just
being disappointed that were hurt that it didn't happen, because
you've been looking you really, you have been looking forward
to this even though and then it's the nerves and
all that, and they're sleeping and so then all that
(23:49):
it rushes in and it comes to play and then
like you were feeling, you were just saying, You're like,
now I'm drained.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Now I'm tired.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Now I'm because it's like all them emotions come in
and then they go out, and then it's just like
you're kind of blah after that.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So I wasn't tired until I got back here, and
I was just like, oh, but it's because all that
excitement is gone and it's just like I slept two
hours last night. Oh wait I did.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It was like like I told you, what can we do?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Where?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What can we do now? And that's why I said
I want to do a podcasts.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Nope, because at that time I was not ready to
do a podcast. But after my conversation with Tony or whatever,
it was great. So I was like, yeah, no, it
happened in the way I was supposed to. I got
peeling face going on which I'm not excited about. I
had a facial, not like the movies like the people
(24:44):
watch on their phones and stuff, but like a facial
like with acid or something. I don't know what it is.
It burns the skin off your face.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
From the dermatologists.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, I didn't look for her license. I should have,
but it again, that's another reason why maybe it wasn't
supposed to be today. Maybe that was that was God's thing. Man,
He was like, no, not today, No you want to,
but you're gonna wait.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And maybe there's something bigger right coming out of it.
We don't know, or maybe it was just that you.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
It really was that you needed that that talk with
that person you know and your soul to you know,
just state where you are. Because you were also laughing too,
which was good for us to hear because knowing that
you were hurt and disappointed when you got back here
and then to hear you guys laughing and that other
(25:40):
person their laugh is just you can't help but kind
of giggle too.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah, yeah, it was. It was good. And so just
if you have those things not go your way and yeah,
but this is the biggest day ever. This is the
biggest just pose it, pump the brakes because you might
look back one day and thank God that that didn't
go that way, or you know, we were talking about
(26:08):
something in Mitch was saying his mom was almost at
the walmart here in Traverse City when the stabbing happened
and she needed to go to pick up a prescription
or something. But then there was some other stuff that
happened and it derailed her and she ended up going
that day. But that's a good thing. Even though that
day she was pissed because she wanted to go pick
up her prescription so that she didn't have to mess
with it the next day. But in reality she's like, whoa,
(26:29):
I'm glad I had to do with that other bs.
But at the time she was like pissed.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Well, yeah, and I think we, well, most of us,
that happens, right, We.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Have a plan, especially me. I mean, your husband's the
same way.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
This is the plan, and I don't want something diverts
me from that plan.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It's the worst thing ever, but there's you.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Know, for whatever reason, there's reasons that that it happens.
I'm not all he's looking at them reasons right then
or thankful. Most of the time, I can just kind
of carry on and go with the flow. But there's
times I get I get frustrated too, and then I
fight it and then I waste more energy then.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But I have I guess four months of seven years
and I still have not thought about drinking as a
way to solve a frustration or an anger, or a
disappointment or a heartbreak or a loss whatever. I have
(27:36):
not one time has it popped into my brain. Hey man,
let's go get drunk now.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
That's a good thing for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Even when Martie and I had our first fight and
it was misunderstanding, but like we slept in different rooms
that night, like I was like, and she was like.
And I drove to a meeting of an hour and
a half away the next day because I was like,
I'm still films some kind of why. I knew to
go hit a meeting. So I did, and it was
on my way back, I hit two meetings, I ad
(28:04):
AA and then at NA. On the way home, that's
when it hit me that, oh, my god, dude, you
did not one time think about drinking. Old me would
have been, oh, this is all your fault. You made
me drink because you said this, and I did this
and it's your fault. This one was like no, no, no.
And then I got back and I was excited and
I was like Marnie, oh my god, like look, I
just realized, like I did not want to. But early on,
(28:25):
when you when you make those I don't want to
those huge changes, they're monumental, they're huge. And when you
can notice that you didn't think about drinking, holy shit,
Like it's like mind blowing. It's working. It's like when
you start a diet and then two months later you
(28:46):
jump on the scale and you lost twenty pounds, like shit,
it's working. You don't see it every day, but it's working,
you know, and you're eating healthier, you know, like if
you're eating ice cream every day and nachos and French
fries or whatever, what do you think is going to happen?
But if you're being responsible responsible, But if you're just
eating healthy you know, chicken, you're putting.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
In that little effort of work into it. And and
it's everything that we do in life recovery, being in shape,
eating a better and sometimes eating a different diet. It
might not all be about just to lose weight or this.
It might be about because some foods affect.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Me a certain way, or I break out in a
reaction when.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I eat I think people like when people eat bread
or they eat certain type of nuts like peanut butter.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh, that went the wrong way anyways.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Sometimes they assume all black people are from African and America.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Y'ad just sometimes changes my words around.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
And that's how you know you're special.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yep, I'm not perfect. I's got to practice that.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Favorite drop of but I had to hit it sparingly. Yeah,
and make sure I'm deep into the episodes so people
understand us.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah, I won't ever live that one down.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
I think you have to explain it every time, don't you?
Or don't you there you are? Don't you?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I don't want to Nope.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
There's an episode with Marnie.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
She left me solo out there.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I think she had to go change Parker in the
bedroom and then you were out there and just got
to go in.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I was trying to explain this training that we were at, and.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I was like being like, I don't know, not very
friendly or I was like trying to be I don't
know what I was trying to do. I was trying
to be something I'm sure as He's the one.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
That I got to sit there all day with Jesse
and Parker and have fun. And me and Marnie have
to go and put on our face and two seventeen
recovery and eat this rapp Peek cafeteria food that wasn't
lancing or something, wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I have no idea where this was.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
No Jackson, didn't we do it? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Because then we did the escape room. Yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Wells we got out thanks to Marnie, I think and
everybody else. I didn't do anything. The first couple of minutes,
I'm like, I can do this. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
This is the first couple of minutes. It was dark,
and when Parker starts crying, we were like, I don't know.
That was fun, but it's a lot. Yeah, look for
this over here in this hole in the wall, and
then this and I don't know how to read between
the lines.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Sometimes we shouldn't started hitting the clue button right from
the start. All right, what's next, what's next? What's next?
Because some of that stuff was like we're looking all
over dumb stuff now. But we did it, and we
have fun. That part was fun, and that's what I
hope you take away from this podcast is sometimes you
(31:46):
might not think you're having a good time, but really
on the other end, you are. You just don't know
it yet.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
I like something that you said today, You said, why
am I not having a good day?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Maybe I am, and I just don't know it.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, I did say that, didn't im because it could
be a lot worse. I guarantee you there's millions of
people out there right now that would trade places with
me in a heartbeat, right now, at this very minute,
and I know that I appreciate it, and I have health,
and I appreciate all the stuff that God's done for
me and that he allowed me to make it through
(32:22):
the addiction to alcohol and to have an actual life
and to be married and to have a son, and
it's pretty cool. So God, thank you, because I could
have done it without God.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
No me neither. I am.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Just like all the stuff that has happened over my
time in sobriety ten and a half years, it just
I didn't have God. I I definitely probably wouldn't be
here right now either. And right now I'm kind of
going through this whole really trying to lean into my
(33:00):
God of my understanding and rely on him to, I
don't know, kind of show me some relief or guidance
on I mean, my daughter's gonna be eighteen and less
than thirty days, and I'm in the process of kind
of writing a blog about this about how you know,
I've been saying for all these years, almost eighteen years,
(33:23):
I've been saying, I can't wait until she's eighteen and
I'm free and.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I'm gonna do what I want. And now I'm just, honestly,
the more and more I'm fucking scared.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
For her or for you all above Just all you
know is you have a scared feeling.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yeah, yeah, because I definitely can't save her protector.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I have to let her go fully.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Or you could buy some chains. Well you don't have
a basement yet, me buy some shovels.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
I'm not trying to get kidnapping.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What's your kid something you Yeah, you can kidnap your
kidne yet offser When I put the chain's honors, who's seventeen? Yeah,
I lost the key? Oops. Yeah, Well, the scared thing
(34:25):
is something that I definitely can relate to, but that'll
have to be saved for another episode. But God, thank
you I know you're listening. You're a big fan. Well,
thank you for everything you've done in my life and
the way it's turned around. As the Lord, I give
you the credit me too.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Thanks Day of sobriety.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
And until next time, peas out checking your Thanks for
listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to over
nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery app that's
free in your app store or online at two seventeen Recovery,
The Dumm
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