November 27, 2024 • 12 mins
Marney discusses her life and gives a message of hope at Recovery Stories: Message of Hope | Part IV.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the audio from Recovery Stories Message of Hope,
Part four, recorded on October seventeenth, twenty twenty four, in
Traverse City, Michigan, courtesy of Months and Behavioral Help with
a grant from hrssay Held Resources and Services Administration. Here's
Marnie Winfield with her Message of Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
My name's Marnie and I'm a grateful person in recovery.
I say that and not because I'm not Marnie and
I'm an alcoholic, because that's very much so true. I
check all the boxes of that and an addict, but
I choose to say I'm Marnie and I'm a grateful
person in recovery because I'm blessed to be able to
live every single day of my life without the use
of drugs or alcohol. It's good stuff. Yeah. So, so
(00:47):
those of you who know me, I wear a lot
of hats. I kind of always have worn a lot
of hats, and so I've just not recently it feels
like recently, But I've recently graduated with my master's and
social work. So I am a clinical therapist. Don't be scared,
thank you. Yeah. And also I was working for Addiction
(01:13):
Treatment Services. I worked for that agency will still actually
technically do for four and a half years, and I
was interning as an intern for Mental Wealth at Mental
Wellness Counseling into private practice and also working alongside my
wonderful husband launching to seventeen Recovery, and it required me
(01:33):
to go to a lot of seminars and workshops and
conferences and consortiums because he doesn't know how to say consortiums.
And at these I noticed that they would ask this
question a lot. It was very popular but very powerful,
and it was what is your why? And so I'm
(01:53):
sitting in these trainings and they say, what is your why?
And so I'm like, okay, I can think about that.
I'm like, because I signed up for it, and like why, Well,
because I need the credits and I need to learn
the material. Why because I need to pass a class?
Why because I need to graduate? Why? Well, because I
(02:16):
want to get my degree and vi a clinical therapist.
Why because I want to help people? Well? Why because
people help me. I'm a person in recovery and I
want to give back. And that's what's passion. That's my passion.
That's where I'm at right now. So what is your
guys' is why, like, why are you here tonight? Right?
Some of you are in treatment? And I say this
(02:38):
with the almost sincerity I am so freaking proud of you,
guys and ladies. Oh my god. Like swhere it starts.
So I was a Phoenix lady myself and a lot
of different capacities and throughout my lifetime. But that's I started,
you know, I started here, and I'll get into that
in a second. So my story is there different chapters?
(03:00):
I don't know, for those of you who've ever done
open talks and you're like thinking about what you're going
to say, and you're like, oh my god, I don't
even know how. I don't even think I want to
go back there, Like I don't think I even really
want to sift through the chaos that was my life
to figure out what to share and what not to share.
But this is messages of hope, so I'm going to
try to veer in that direction. I grew up in Saline,
which is near ann Arbor, downstate, and I had a
(03:22):
really good, really good childhood. I had a really good upbringing,
good core values. Alcohol was present in our household. My father,
who is now sixteen years sober who actually is present
here today in the back. So, I mean, he's got
(03:44):
sixteen years he's like, I don't know, one hundred and twelve.
So now I'm just kidding. There was use in our
home through when I was growing up, and actually my
dad was like my party buddy. We drank together and stuff.
So later in life, but anyhow, but for the most part,
everything was good, you know, no know, negativity, no physical
abuse or emotional abuse in the household. Like I grew
(04:04):
I had a really good upbringing. I had a lot
of culture. I had a lot of travel, I had
a lot of experiences. I was a very privileged child.
I grew up and went to grew up and went
to Michigan State. Is that is that a real thing?
Went to Michigan State for my undergraduate degree. And I
didn't really know. I never was one of those people
(04:25):
that knew exactly what I wanted to be when I
grew up. And it is not where I'm going with
this that I didn't want to be an alcohol because
I didn't want to be that either. But I didn't
want to be a doctor. I didn't want to be
a you know, a cop. I didn't want to be
a firefighter. I didn't want to be a veterinarian. I
didn't want to be an accountant. I didn't want to
be a hairdresser. I like all these things. I knew
my limit, I knew my skill set, let's just say that,
(04:46):
and I knew it. But I knew I was good
with people. So a lot of that had to do
with showing me into My jobs that I chose were
in the service industry. It's for those of you that
know the service industry, it's very there's a lot of
substance use in prevalence in the service industry. But I
met Michigan State and I'm doing really well. I got
(05:09):
my head on pretty straight. I'm working at a restaurant
called the Rivi or a cafe, which is not a cafe,
it's a bar. And I got a really good education.
But junior years when I really started noticing my relationship
with alcohol was not normal, even though at Michigan State
and partying things were acceptable, right Binge drinking is acceptable,
(05:30):
hangovers are acceptable, drinking during the day is acceptable, drinking
in the morning is acceptable. Being smelling like booze at
eight o'clock in the morning at your class is acceptable
because you know you're in college and people don't really care.
But it ended up catching up with me and my
grades started slipping end of junior year into senior year.
(05:51):
But I graduated with honors. I did great. I did
get my first UI. When I was in college, ran
through a stop sign. Slap on the wrist, No big deal.
I didn't really even think it was a thing. I
just thought I was a college student who got caught.
After I graduated, I wasn't really sure what I wanted
to do. I was in I took a bunch of
different jobs in sales positions, lived a bunch of different places.
(06:12):
Nothing really set nothing really set in. I kind of
was like a nomad, but was doing okay everywhere I
went until I wasn't. I don't want to spend too
much time on the negative stuff that happened to me,
or like the chaos and the detriment that was my
life for a lot of years, because not that it's
(06:34):
not important, it is important. It's important for you to
explore those things and deal with those things and not
sweep everything under the rug in terms of what you've
dealt with and what you've had to go through. But
in the time that makes sense, and always with the
idea that you want to keep what you're doing strength
based and forward focused. Those are the two things that
are really important and what I think of now in
(06:54):
terms of recovery. After I graduated Fast Forward, I went
to a bunch of rehabs. People always ask like, when
is it that you actually when it clicked, Like, when
is it when you actually it stuck? And for me
it was it was for when it was my idea,
it had to be my idea. The treatment center that
I went to, I went there on my own terms.
(07:14):
It wasn't because of the judge. It wasn't because of
my parents. It wasn't because of a boyfriend. It wasn't
because of an employer, it wasn't because of a roommate.
It was because I knew I needed to go or
I wasn't going to die that point, I had already
been hospitalized multiple times for detox, had been septic at
one point, and it was just terrible relationships, abuse, physical, emotional,
(07:39):
and it was time for me to turn things around.
And I knew if I was going to do that,
I couldn't do it by myself. And I needed to
take this seriously. So I went into treatment and went
to Bear River, and I went in with full intentions
of just doing the work and doing exactly what our
friend Kim talked about earlier, keeping things real right, getting
honest with myself, honest about why I was there, getting
(08:01):
honest about the things I had been through, getting honest
about who I'd hurt, getting honest about the PEOPLEHOO had
hurt me, doing my four step stuff right, getting it
all out, and really realizing like what do I need
to do to move forward now? And the advice that
they give you is say you need to change everything.
That's exactly what I did. There were very, very very
(08:21):
few people except for pretty much my family that I
actually kept contact with after I left that place and
I started over, and I did everything different than what
I had done before. It's one of those things where
I just knew it I needed to readjust my life
and like refocus and have it be real this time.
For me to do that, I got a job at
(08:45):
Addiction Dream and Services, and I was making like eleven
dollars an hour. So here I was like with this
bachelor's degree, and I'm just like I just need I
need to be around people that know what I am
and know what I'm doing and be okay with it.
And that was where that's where I ended up and
so and I could help other people along the way,
and that's where I got lined up doing my coursework
(09:07):
for my master's degree. And you know, now I'm on
that route right now and it's it's going amazing. The
one thing I do want to talk about, so people
always ask me how I met Corey. We are we
are an exception to the rule. All right, We're just
gonna say that. So I, uh, they say not to
get in relationships within the first year and what have you.
(09:27):
This was totally unintentional, mind you. The treatment center that uh,
that I was talked just speaking of, he actually was
working there at the time as a tech. Now this
there was not any sort of weirdness when I was there.
I promise you that I handed God we literally I
was like this, this guy's funny and he's serious about
his recovery, and I'm going to listen to what he
has to say, because that's what I'm supposed to do,
(09:48):
is listen to what people have to say that you know,
are actually legit about their own recovery and so you know,
so I actually tracked him down afterwards on Facebook and
I was like, where's the meet Where's there a meeting?
And he's like, I don't think I can go to
a meeting with you. And I was like, well, you
said for to stick with the people who stick with
the winners, and so anyway, from that point on, we
(10:09):
ended up we ended up getting together later down the line,
and I can now call him my husband, and it's
amazing and he's an amazing man. When they say that
the promises come true, that's for real. Maybe not overnight,
you know, not as fast as you want them to,
but they definitely do. Of all the trauma that I've
(10:29):
been through, Like, that's not the stuff that I focus
on today. I focus on what I need to do
for myself to stay sober, and that's making sure that
I am refilling my own recovery tank, as I call it, right,
doing the things that I need to do to make
sure that I have less of a chance of picking
up today. Whether it's meetings, whether it's talking to somebody
(10:49):
at the office, Uh, maybe it's to maybe it's touching
bees with my family, you know, maybe it's exercising no
me you know, all these promises and all these miracles
come true, and the biggest miracle in my life, as
most of you guys know, and if you don't, I
am a new mom and it is. I know it
(11:17):
is the ultimate blessing, and that I can guarantee you
is the work of a higher power. So I know
that my higher power is on my side, always has been.
It's just sometimes I wasn't listening. My husband, my best
friend Corey today he's my why. And my little baby
(11:40):
back there who's crying, he's my why. All you guys
in this room today, you guys are all my why.
So keep doing what you're doing. Stay clean and sober.
You're doing amazing. Give yourself hat on your back, give
yourself some grace. Thank you for coming tonight. Take care, everybody,
have a good evening.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Thanks for listening to the two venteen Recovery podcast. Listen
to over nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery
app that's free in your app store or online at
two seventeen recovery dot com.
This is the audio from Recovery Stories Message of Hope,
Part four, recorded on October seventeenth, twenty twenty four, in
Traverse City, Michigan, courtesy of Months and Behavioral Help with
a grant from hrssay Held Resources and Services Administration. Here's
Marnie Winfield with her Message of Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
My name's Marnie and I'm a grateful person in recovery.
I say that and not because I'm not Marnie and
I'm an alcoholic, because that's very much so true. I
check all the boxes of that and an addict, but
I choose to say I'm Marnie and I'm a grateful
person in recovery because I'm blessed to be able to
live every single day of my life without the use
of drugs or alcohol. It's good stuff. Yeah. So, so
(00:47):
those of you who know me, I wear a lot
of hats. I kind of always have worn a lot
of hats, and so I've just not recently it feels
like recently, But I've recently graduated with my master's and
social work. So I am a clinical therapist. Don't be scared,
thank you. Yeah. And also I was working for Addiction
(01:13):
Treatment Services. I worked for that agency will still actually
technically do for four and a half years, and I
was interning as an intern for Mental Wealth at Mental
Wellness Counseling into private practice and also working alongside my
wonderful husband launching to seventeen Recovery, and it required me
(01:33):
to go to a lot of seminars and workshops and
conferences and consortiums because he doesn't know how to say consortiums.
And at these I noticed that they would ask this
question a lot. It was very popular but very powerful,
and it was what is your why? And so I'm
(01:53):
sitting in these trainings and they say, what is your why?
And so I'm like, okay, I can think about that.
I'm like, because I signed up for it, and like why, Well,
because I need the credits and I need to learn
the material. Why because I need to pass a class?
Why because I need to graduate? Why? Well, because I
(02:16):
want to get my degree and vi a clinical therapist.
Why because I want to help people? Well? Why because
people help me. I'm a person in recovery and I
want to give back. And that's what's passion. That's my passion.
That's where I'm at right now. So what is your
guys' is why, like, why are you here tonight? Right?
Some of you are in treatment? And I say this
(02:38):
with the almost sincerity I am so freaking proud of you,
guys and ladies. Oh my god. Like swhere it starts.
So I was a Phoenix lady myself and a lot
of different capacities and throughout my lifetime. But that's I started,
you know, I started here, and I'll get into that
in a second. So my story is there different chapters?
(03:00):
I don't know, for those of you who've ever done
open talks and you're like thinking about what you're going
to say, and you're like, oh my god, I don't
even know how. I don't even think I want to
go back there, Like I don't think I even really
want to sift through the chaos that was my life
to figure out what to share and what not to share.
But this is messages of hope, so I'm going to
try to veer in that direction. I grew up in Saline,
which is near ann Arbor, downstate, and I had a
(03:22):
really good, really good childhood. I had a really good upbringing,
good core values. Alcohol was present in our household. My father,
who is now sixteen years sober who actually is present
here today in the back. So, I mean, he's got
(03:44):
sixteen years he's like, I don't know, one hundred and twelve.
So now I'm just kidding. There was use in our
home through when I was growing up, and actually my
dad was like my party buddy. We drank together and stuff.
So later in life, but anyhow, but for the most part,
everything was good, you know, no know, negativity, no physical
abuse or emotional abuse in the household. Like I grew
(04:04):
I had a really good upbringing. I had a lot
of culture. I had a lot of travel, I had
a lot of experiences. I was a very privileged child.
I grew up and went to grew up and went
to Michigan State. Is that is that a real thing?
Went to Michigan State for my undergraduate degree. And I
didn't really know. I never was one of those people
(04:25):
that knew exactly what I wanted to be when I
grew up. And it is not where I'm going with
this that I didn't want to be an alcohol because
I didn't want to be that either. But I didn't
want to be a doctor. I didn't want to be
a you know, a cop. I didn't want to be
a firefighter. I didn't want to be a veterinarian. I
didn't want to be an accountant. I didn't want to
be a hairdresser. I like all these things. I knew
my limit, I knew my skill set, let's just say that,
(04:46):
and I knew it. But I knew I was good
with people. So a lot of that had to do
with showing me into My jobs that I chose were
in the service industry. It's for those of you that
know the service industry, it's very there's a lot of
substance use in prevalence in the service industry. But I
met Michigan State and I'm doing really well. I got
(05:09):
my head on pretty straight. I'm working at a restaurant
called the Rivi or a cafe, which is not a cafe,
it's a bar. And I got a really good education.
But junior years when I really started noticing my relationship
with alcohol was not normal, even though at Michigan State
and partying things were acceptable, right Binge drinking is acceptable,
(05:30):
hangovers are acceptable, drinking during the day is acceptable, drinking
in the morning is acceptable. Being smelling like booze at
eight o'clock in the morning at your class is acceptable
because you know you're in college and people don't really care.
But it ended up catching up with me and my
grades started slipping end of junior year into senior year.
(05:51):
But I graduated with honors. I did great. I did
get my first UI. When I was in college, ran
through a stop sign. Slap on the wrist, No big deal.
I didn't really even think it was a thing. I
just thought I was a college student who got caught.
After I graduated, I wasn't really sure what I wanted
to do. I was in I took a bunch of
different jobs in sales positions, lived a bunch of different places.
(06:12):
Nothing really set nothing really set in. I kind of
was like a nomad, but was doing okay everywhere I
went until I wasn't. I don't want to spend too
much time on the negative stuff that happened to me,
or like the chaos and the detriment that was my
life for a lot of years, because not that it's
(06:34):
not important, it is important. It's important for you to
explore those things and deal with those things and not
sweep everything under the rug in terms of what you've
dealt with and what you've had to go through. But
in the time that makes sense, and always with the
idea that you want to keep what you're doing strength
based and forward focused. Those are the two things that
are really important and what I think of now in
(06:54):
terms of recovery. After I graduated Fast Forward, I went
to a bunch of rehabs. People always ask like, when
is it that you actually when it clicked, Like, when
is it when you actually it stuck? And for me
it was it was for when it was my idea,
it had to be my idea. The treatment center that
I went to, I went there on my own terms.
(07:14):
It wasn't because of the judge. It wasn't because of
my parents. It wasn't because of a boyfriend. It wasn't
because of an employer, it wasn't because of a roommate.
It was because I knew I needed to go or
I wasn't going to die that point, I had already
been hospitalized multiple times for detox, had been septic at
one point, and it was just terrible relationships, abuse, physical, emotional,
(07:39):
and it was time for me to turn things around.
And I knew if I was going to do that,
I couldn't do it by myself. And I needed to
take this seriously. So I went into treatment and went
to Bear River, and I went in with full intentions
of just doing the work and doing exactly what our
friend Kim talked about earlier, keeping things real right, getting
honest with myself, honest about why I was there, getting
(08:01):
honest about the things I had been through, getting honest
about who I'd hurt, getting honest about the PEOPLEHOO had
hurt me, doing my four step stuff right, getting it
all out, and really realizing like what do I need
to do to move forward now? And the advice that
they give you is say you need to change everything.
That's exactly what I did. There were very, very very
(08:21):
few people except for pretty much my family that I
actually kept contact with after I left that place and
I started over, and I did everything different than what
I had done before. It's one of those things where
I just knew it I needed to readjust my life
and like refocus and have it be real this time.
For me to do that, I got a job at
(08:45):
Addiction Dream and Services, and I was making like eleven
dollars an hour. So here I was like with this
bachelor's degree, and I'm just like I just need I
need to be around people that know what I am
and know what I'm doing and be okay with it.
And that was where that's where I ended up and
so and I could help other people along the way,
and that's where I got lined up doing my coursework
(09:07):
for my master's degree. And you know, now I'm on
that route right now and it's it's going amazing. The
one thing I do want to talk about, so people
always ask me how I met Corey. We are we
are an exception to the rule. All right, We're just
gonna say that. So I, uh, they say not to
get in relationships within the first year and what have you.
(09:27):
This was totally unintentional, mind you. The treatment center that uh,
that I was talked just speaking of, he actually was
working there at the time as a tech. Now this
there was not any sort of weirdness when I was there.
I promise you that I handed God we literally I
was like this, this guy's funny and he's serious about
his recovery, and I'm going to listen to what he
has to say, because that's what I'm supposed to do,
(09:48):
is listen to what people have to say that you know,
are actually legit about their own recovery and so you know,
so I actually tracked him down afterwards on Facebook and
I was like, where's the meet Where's there a meeting?
And he's like, I don't think I can go to
a meeting with you. And I was like, well, you
said for to stick with the people who stick with
the winners, and so anyway, from that point on, we
(10:09):
ended up we ended up getting together later down the line,
and I can now call him my husband, and it's
amazing and he's an amazing man. When they say that
the promises come true, that's for real. Maybe not overnight,
you know, not as fast as you want them to,
but they definitely do. Of all the trauma that I've
(10:29):
been through, Like, that's not the stuff that I focus
on today. I focus on what I need to do
for myself to stay sober, and that's making sure that
I am refilling my own recovery tank, as I call it, right,
doing the things that I need to do to make
sure that I have less of a chance of picking
up today. Whether it's meetings, whether it's talking to somebody
(10:49):
at the office, Uh, maybe it's to maybe it's touching
bees with my family, you know, maybe it's exercising no
me you know, all these promises and all these miracles
come true, and the biggest miracle in my life, as
most of you guys know, and if you don't, I
am a new mom and it is. I know it
(11:17):
is the ultimate blessing, and that I can guarantee you
is the work of a higher power. So I know
that my higher power is on my side, always has been.
It's just sometimes I wasn't listening. My husband, my best
friend Corey today he's my why. And my little baby
(11:40):
back there who's crying, he's my why. All you guys
in this room today, you guys are all my why.
So keep doing what you're doing. Stay clean and sober.
You're doing amazing. Give yourself hat on your back, give
yourself some grace. Thank you for coming tonight. Take care, everybody,
have a good evening.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Thanks for listening to the two venteen Recovery podcast. Listen
to over nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery
app that's free in your app store or online at
two seventeen recovery dot com.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.