March 27, 2025 • 42 mins
What does it take for you to finally say "no" to work during your vacation? We dive deep into the complex relationship between professional dedication and personal time off through Amy's recent experience of cutting a getaway short for a real estate showing.
The statistics are startling—40% of American employees don't use all their allotted vacation days, with the highest numbers among those with bachelor's degrees and upper income brackets. We explore why so many of us struggle to disconnect, examining everything from workplace expectations to our own psychological need for achievement and recognition.
While generational differences exist in approaches to work-life balance, the data challenges some common assumptions. Only 21% of Millennials take their full vacation allotment despite being portrayed as more boundary-conscious than their predecessors. We discuss the psychology behind "unlimited PTO" policies and why they often result in employees taking less time off.
The conversation takes a poignant turn when we share personal regrets about work-life choices, particularly regarding time with our children. When Amy reveals her mother passed away with 186 unused vacation days and unfulfilled dreams, it drives home the reality that time eventually runs out for everyone.
Whether you're wrestling with work-life boundaries, curious about generational workplace differences, or simply need permission to use your vacation days, this episode offers both practical insights and emotional validation. After all, as we remind ourselves, most jobs aren't "selling kidneys"—the world will keep turning if we take a day off.
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hello running, get me to the top, I don't need a
hello, my dearest friends, hellohow are you both uh, doing,
doing.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
Well, look how pretty our colors are tonight.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
I know we didn't plan it.
No, we didn't nice.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I know I feel like you two match my back wall a
little bit more than I do.
That's all right.
Yeah Well, welcome everyone.
This is Three Cocktails In,hosted by Stacey Kitty and me,
amy, three friends who have beendoing shit for a long time and
still looking forward to doingsome more.
(01:03):
Of course, it just keepsgetting better, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Yeah, yeah, did you see the post this week?
That was a list and they'rejust weird things.
But do you see the list on theinfluence or bad influence
friends?
You know friends that are badinfluence and Amy and Stacey
made the list.
Whoo, no surprise there.
(01:29):
No, yes, guys, that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Amy for the win.
Yeah, yeah, sure, I think yourname is at the top of the list,
all right actually, as I wasreading through that list with
the exception of names likeNatalie and Amanda, and there
was one more I thought this justlooked like my kindergarten
(01:51):
list of classmates.
So it was all people whograduated in the 80s is what I
was reading, I think.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
so it really was kind of a list of names for people
that would be our age.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Karen was in there and, yeah, a lot, lot of you
know, yeah when was the lasttime you saw a baby, michelle?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
oh, I know, yeah.
Well, there's no baby Amy's orStacy or Kitty's anymore either
right, nope, we're a dying breed.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Actually, we're going to be the old-timey names that
are going to start to circleback, right, probably, well, amy
listen, amy, didn't your mom?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
didn't people say that to your mom when she said
she was naming you Amy?
And they said that's an oldlady's name.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yes, she said, the old women at church thought it
was a very old name and did notunderstand why she would name me
Amy.
Hmm, huh, interesting, hmm, huh, interesting.
Yep, I knew one girl when I wasleading Girl Scouts.
There was one family that had adaughter who was Amy and she
was, um, you know, 300 girls atcamp and she was the only Amy
(03:00):
under other than you know, underthe age of 30, 35.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Yeah 35.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah .
So I don't know, maybe in 20years, is that how long it takes
?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
It's pretty, who knows?
Speaker 6 (03:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
But very interesting again generations.
We're going to talk a littlebit about differing, how
different generations look atthings.
So I had this aha moment inthat I went on a little two-day
excursion and it's you know,I've told everybody my vacation
(03:39):
days are in the middle of theweek.
My days off are Thursday, youknow, tuesday, wednesday,
thursday, friday, somethingweird like that.
So I was taken to a very nicelittle resort up north and it
was lovely and we'd had thisplanned and it was really fun.
And like the week before, I gotrequests to show houses on the
(04:03):
second day of this trip.
Okay, yep, and I cut it shortand we drove back so I could
sell houses on the second day ofthis getaway and I was livid.
I fortunately he was justdelightful about the whole thing
.
He's just like hey, it's yourgig.
(04:24):
If that's what we need to do,that's what we need to do.
I'm going to support you inthat.
Awesome.
And I was.
I was mad and he's like don'tbe mad, you know this is.
I'm like no, this is stupid,this is absolutely stupid.
That I feel yes.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
I have a question.
Yes, so were you mad atyourself for saying, yeah, I'll
come and do it?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
That's what I wasn't sure 100% mad at myself that I
could not be away when I'm awayand not have to work.
And so Kitty and I got totalking, because I we must have
had a conversation aboutsomething.
And I brought this up and Isaid you know, when do you get
(05:11):
to that place where enough isenough?
How do you especially now,kitty, you're doing your own
thing.
I've wanted to beself-sufficient and independent
and loving.
So I'm where I want to be,kitty, you're where I want to be
.
Have you ever thought where'sthe balance come in this whole
(05:36):
work-life balance?
When is it okay to say you knowwhat?
I don't need that sale onFriday?
If they can reschedule, great.
If not, they can work withsomebody else.
Yeah, it just made me thinkabout all the vacation time that
(05:57):
goes wasted.
And, stacey, you're like well,duh, amy, of course we need to
have this conversation.
You work all the time, but I'dlike to point out, I'd like to
ask you how many vacation daysdo you have that you haven't
used?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
oh, I, I get.
I get a lot of vacation becauseagain, we've talked about this
I've worked, you know, 19 yearsat the same company.
So I have five weeks ofvacation and I I use my five
weeks.
But there were, there was ayear where I couldn't use much.
So I carry over a bunch, so Ican carry over about four weeks,
(06:36):
but I use five weeks a year.
Does that make sense?
So like say, this year I coulduse nine and I'd be out of
vacation.
Does that make sense?
So like say, this year I coulduse nine and I'd be out of
vacation.
Does that make sense?
So I keep using my five weeks,but I have some bank.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
So you're still using 2024 vacation.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I just used 2023.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
This goes to the heart of this conversation that
I want to have.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, but for me I also think, you know I mean when
you're on vacation I do.
But you know I'm getting betterat that too.
I never logged onto my laptop.
I just got back from vacationon Sunday, was gone for a week,
never got on my laptop.
So I am even getting better.
(07:27):
When we went to France I didn'ttake my laptop, you know, I
looked at emails, just so I cankind of keep up.
But other than that, yeah, yep,I don't work as much on
vacation as I used to as I usedto.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
I think so in this situation, amy, for you, I think
that it may only take once ortwice of that happening and you
being mad at yourself.
Before you'll start to um,you'll resist that urge to say
no, I have to do it, I have tobe there, I need to be able to
get those sales.
If I can get those sales, Ithink you just need to have a
(08:16):
couple of those and feel thatfeeling for you to know I am
obviously sacrificing havingsome rest and relaxation.
But then I feel this angerRight at different times and I
(08:44):
think that you just have tolisten to that gut feeling or
that reaction for you to knowwhen enough is enough.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
It's a tough one.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah, it is.
It's very tough.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, especially with what you do with the potential
of losing a sale.
You know, if you can't get itscheduled for the next day or
when you can be in the office,then yeah, you're giving up in
theory, giving up money.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
So that's a tough one if you had not gone back, what
would have happened?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
yeah, they would have gone to a different.
They would have.
We were going to a differentneighborhood and the only way I
get to be part part of that sale, even though I'm the procuring
cause, is if I take them.
Okay, If they go and somebodyelse helps them, it's there that
person's sale Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
So and that's the kicker they weren't willing to
just wait a day.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, they were from out of town.
That's when they had to do it.
Yeah, yep, um, it does make meirritated.
I did take my laptop to mytablet to France.
I think I pulled it up once.
I just took a bunch of days off.
Well, actually I took fourpersonal days but banked them
(10:10):
around that 4th of July again,so I can get a nine-day vacation
and I'm planning on goingsomewhere and I don't know that
I'm bringing my tablet.
I mean I can do a lot from myphone, yeah, but that will also,
I don't know.
I mean, that's hard.
I don't feel like I did.
(10:31):
We never canceled in Francebecause of it, but I did check
every day, every morning.
But still, even that's areminder of what you're missing
out on, which again gets to theheart of have you had
conversations with yourself,independent people?
(10:51):
You know how much is enough.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
I I have not put a number on that and I don't
really feel like I need to.
I think that there might be atime where I feel like I need to
.
Maybe something is feelingunbalanced.
If I get to the point where allI'm doing is working when I'm
(11:23):
at home, then there's a problem,that's an imbalance and that
would make me unhappy.
But for me personally, I am inthe building process with this
business and I'm loving it.
So when you're in thatsituation where you absolutely
love every single thing aboutwhat you're doing, it doesn't
(11:46):
feel like work right.
I mean, we hear people talkabout that all the time.
I feel like, for the first timein my life, that's where I'm at
, so I'm enjoying that.
Will that change?
Yeah, maybe at some point.
So I think we just we have tobe checking in with ourselves on
(12:06):
a regular basis to recognizethat, recognize when things are
out of balance and it's not somuch fun anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Well, you know, think about the people in your life
too.
I mean, with you going live asmany times a week as you do, you
have a pretty structuredschedule.
Yeah, you're not any more intospontaneity than I am you know,
there, there are no last minute,give me a call, I'll meet you
(12:39):
somewhere, sort of things, Causeyou know, and as we've talked,
the family's got to buy in, oryour partner or whoever.
And, um, you know the person Iwas with.
I already said he was verygreat about it and he said I
will never, ever put pressure onyou to change that.
And I said, oh, you say thatnow but, having you know, been
(13:02):
married to somebody that was ina family business, every single
vacation, every single holiday,we came back to talking about
work and I got it.
I understood it was their baby,but at a certain point I
started to resent it.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
And I don't want to and I'm learning, you know.
But now I'm the, I'm on theother side and, um, you know, we
can all say that it's fine andit's good but, you know,
irritating, yeah, I, I don'tthink I'm alone in this.
Soace, you've got a lot ofvacation days that you're still
(13:44):
rolling over.
I did a little research on thisand did some searching here.
The four out of ten employeesin the US take fewer vacation
days than they are allotted.
That's 40%.
That's a big number.
It's a big number.
(14:05):
It is a big number.
And of those that take lessthan allotted, 51% of us are in
the upper income bracket.
I don't know if I am reallyconsidered upper income, but
these are not People who are nottaking all their vacation, have
(14:28):
money and vacation time thatthey could be taking.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, Find that kind of interesting.
I would have thought well, Imean, it sounds true to the
three of us right here 51% ofthose with a bachelor's degree
take less time off than allotted.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
So it says that's an interesting statement toward
work ethic and commitment, youknow.
So why are these people nottaking the time?
Is it because they feel like ifthey take the time, the job
will suffer?
(15:15):
I'm the only one who can dothis job.
I can't leave it because no oneelse can step in the job itself
?
Well, yeah, in theory, you giveme four weeks of vacation, but
I can't take that.
We've got too much stuff.
We've got too much stuff goingon, and that's one of the things
that, especially with thepandemic and as the younger
(15:37):
generations are coming up,they're the ones who are saying
you figure it out, manager,because you've given me these
days, I'm going to take them.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Because you've given me these days, I'm going to take
them.
Actually, 21% of millennialstook 10 to 19 days vacation a
year Only 21%, so they're nottaking tons of vacation either,
which I think iscounterintuitive.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Well, how many do they get though?
Well, the average, okay, howmany?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
do they get, though?
So the average job?
But okay, I looked that up too.
So your first year average is11 days off.
A year at five years average is18.
And 20 days at 20 years.
I think those last two seem low.
(16:35):
I think the one year and fiveyear seem pretty normal.
Millennials, they're what?
28?
28 to 30, something Upper 30s,so it's gen z's that are younger
than that, but millennials are.
(16:55):
They're the workhorses rightnow.
They're the ones that arepushing, you know, to make the
money.
They're in prime money makingyears, and 21% only 21% took 10
to 19 days.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
They're also the ones with a bunch of kids and hard
to probably get away.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
You know what I mean.
I would like to take, I would.
I should have researched thatas well, but I don't think
millennials are having as manykids.
I think they've been late tohave kids yeah, that's, true I
just find it really I I do getwhat you're saying.
I about the, the gen z sort ofsort of group.
(17:43):
Um, I also think they changejobs more often so they're not
accruing large amounts ofvacation days.
But I noticed that in a coupleof jobs that my kids have had
they've had this unlimited PTO.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I think is a crock.
I do too, Because clearly, fromthe stats, employers know that
you're never going to take allthe vacation you possibly can.
So one of the things I alsolooked up was what does it cost
employers?
What's the cost?
(18:21):
I phrased the question as howmuch are employers saving?
But what came back to me was itcosts employers on average
$7,600 per employee for taxliability for unused vacation
days when they retire, Because alot of companies will offer and
(18:47):
it varies by state and itvaries by your contract if
they're going to pay you, ifthey pay out for vacation days.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
So life affirming and shattering.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
That couldn't be done five days later.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Right, right, that is exactly right.
Speaker 6 (19:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Nope, I made the mistake when I was working.
You know, I was pretty, youknow, in one of my first sales
positions something wasn't goingright and the furniture wasn't
get going to get delivered ontime.
It was gonna be like four dayslate and I was in the lunchroom
and I was talking to anothersalesperson.
I'm like, for God's sake, it'syou know, we're not selling
(19:42):
kidneys here, this isn't, youknow, brain surgery.
And the boss came right aroundand he gave me the biggest glare
.
He was pissed.
But I still stand by thatcomment.
I mean, yes, it was not good,the situation was not good, but
we needed to dial down just abit here.
Yep.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yep, this was not life-saving.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
It was not life-saving equipment that we
were selling.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yep, yeah, I don't know.
I always feel like you know,for me, I'm working a lot to be
able to go on vacation and getback and then work a lot to
catch up, which I think is howit is, and I think one I don't
know what episode and what thetopic even was at this point,
(20:31):
but I still stand by my ifyou're salaried, you don't work
40 hour week anyway.
You know, you can, you know,work more, work a little less,
whatever, you're still paid todo a job, not a week.
So if you take some vacationtime, you still have to
(20:51):
eventually get that work done.
So it's not, like you know, inmy experience anyway, there's
nobody picking up.
You know much of the slack, alittle, you know when you're
gone sometimes, but nobody'sreally doing.
You know what I mean.
No one's.
No one's doing my job for themost part when I'm gone.
(21:14):
I just do it when I get back.
Yeah, so there's no reason notto take time off.
You're going to have to do itanyway, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Kitty, do you have that funny video, that reel?
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I do.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Okay, so this was also how we got to laughing
about this.
We follow, or I follow somebody, I think Stacy you do too.
Do you have the name of theaccount?
Do you see what her account is,Jamie?
Speaker 5 (21:53):
Let me I can look it up real quick.
I don't think it is on the reel.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
She's a millennial who is kind of runs a team of
photographers who go shootvideos and photograph homes that
are for sale and her team ishilarious and it's all recorded
(22:23):
phone calls that she's had withthem and we can't decide if it's
spoof.
If it's real, we'd like towe're hopeful that it's had with
them and we can't decide ifit's spoof.
If it's real, we'd like towe're hopeful that it's a spoof.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yes, I hope that it's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
I hope.
We hope that it's not real, butthis one I thought was
especially good.
And on this topic now, I know Iknow the video doesn't show
quite right, but listen to, tothe phone call.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Okay, her name is Jamie Lynch.
Her Instagram handle is simply,simply, and then another Y, and
then a period, and then Jamie,j-a-m-i-e-e-e, okay and yes.
So if you're watching this onYouTube, really just listen to
it.
It's not formatted for thisscreen.
(23:11):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Hey Reverie, what is up?
Can you move me back down toone shift a week?
You just went back up to threeshifts.
Yeah, now I'm over it.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
My gosh.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
I literally used to work two jobs when I was your
age.
I'm so tired of hearing you oldpeople say that Old people, two
jobs when I was your age.
I'm so tired of hearing you oldpeople say that old people like
congrats, you all workedyourself dead.
Long days, long nights, no daysoff, never called in sick.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
No, for real, it's like anhonor that you guys didn't stop
working at five or take weekendsoff.
Like where are you in life?
(23:43):
Are you super rich and furtherahead in your career?
Do you have a plaque at any ofthose jobs?
Okay, that's, that's a bitharsh reverie.
But for real, jamie, don't bebragging about that grind vibe.
It's giving super lowself-worth.
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna go reverie,okay.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
The grind vibe, yeah, the grind vibe.
You old people and I'm prettysure Jamie's probably younger
than we are oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Yeah, do you have a plaque?
Yeah, do you have a?
Plaque for all the hard work.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yeah, how's that?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
for you.
Yeah, those conversations thatJamie has with her employees or
her team, oh God, they're funny.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
It's got to be parody .
If anybody ever came at me withthat sort of conversation, I
would not be able to hold myselfback.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Oh, I'd end up laughing just like Jamie, what
old people?
Oh, okay, yeah, so do you getthat?
I'm sorry, go ahead, but youhave to wonder what they think.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
You know, do they really?
Do they really think like thatthat we've just, you know, just
work hard because of the moneyand sacrificed home life in some
situations?
You know what I mean.
So, um, you know, you wonder ifthey think that because I feel
(25:24):
like the Gen Z's really don'tcare to work so much you know
they're not working for themoney that they have some other
motivation.
I think you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I don't know, maybe, what I mean.
So I don't know, maybe I thinka lot of us who work a lot of
hours are doing it for notalways the money either.
I think we do have a lot.
We get a lot of self-worthRight, our self-worth, and
Reverie says that you know, wedo choose to work a lot.
(26:05):
I know for me, I want the win, Iwant the win of the sale.
I think I told you, kitty, whenI got my W-2 last year, I had
no idea how much money I made.
I mean, I had a general ideabut I had not really a number,
because mine is kind ofcommission-based a number,
because mine is kind of commitkind of commission based.
So numbers fluctuate.
But I could tell you exactlyhow many sales I had and I could
(26:28):
almost tell you who boughtevery single home and what the
address was, and so that was alittle bit of the whole.
Self-discovery is sure Mightnot be just about the money,
it's also about Ooh, I gotanother one, I got another one
you know this whole right, thewin, yeah right which serves you
(26:50):
really well in what you'redoing, yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
I mean your, your employer's got to be just
jumping up and down that you'reon their team, because that's
what they, that's what they want, right they hire a lot of
athletes, a lot of formerathletes, okay yeah, well, and
that's uh, that's a.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
You know there's a big list of things that motivate
people, and one is you knowmeeting goals, you know being,
you know doing your job verywell.
You know I get it.
Yes, it's just not.
It's not just for the money.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
And.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
I'm guessing.
You know those are some of thethings that I think the Gen Z
don't don't see.
Does that make any sense?
You know what I mean?
They're not.
They're not working for allthose reasons, and so that's
what I'm saying.
They're working, maybe formoney, but yet they want to take
, take the time off.
You know they want to be doneat four o'clock or five o'clock
or whatever.
Those kinds of things.
More for the.
You know, work life balance.
Speaker 5 (27:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Well, go ahead Sorry.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Well it's.
It's when we were, when wegraduated from college and we
were getting those first jobsand starting to work.
You worked and we never talkedabout work-life balance and
things like that.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
We also didn't take jobs doing things that we loved.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
Right, yeah, every experience that we have in life
makes us who we are today, so Ireally try to not have regrets,
but I do acknowledge that whenBill and I were first married
and we had Beau, I really dowish that I had taken more time
(29:03):
to be home with him.
I wish that I hadn't put so muchpressure on myself to get up
and out the door and get him todaycare by 7 o'clock in the
morning or 7.30, so I could getto work.
Because, oh my God, I'm goingto be late Really.
Like you said earlier, amy orStacey, I can't be late really.
(29:25):
Like you said earlier, amy orstacy, I can't remember which
one of you said it now, was theworld going to end if I wasn't
in my office by 7 30 in themorning?
No, you know dipshit, who likesto comment on who.
You know who's the?
Oh, there was a guy I workedwith.
He called everybody five oo'clock Charlies if they were
(29:46):
leaving the office at fiveo'clock.
And yeah, I was one of thosepeople.
I wanted to go pick up my sonfrom daycare and get home so I
could have an evening, but itjust wasn't the norm.
Yeah, and I've got a bit ofregret on that and I've even
stopped myself short of sittingdown with Bo sometime and saying
(30:08):
Bo, did you feel like and I,you know it's going to make me
cry to actually say the word, soI'm not going to say the word
but did you feel like you had agood youth with mom and dad
(30:29):
working and the rigor of thatand going to daycare and you
know.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
I think that I don't think you should have that.
I don't think you should framethe conversation that way,
because he's in a no-winsituation.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Yeah, he's not going to tell you.
No, you know it's all yourfault.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
So I wonder if you can phrase the conversation to
have it with him to say you know, I don't have many regrets in
life, but I do wish that I couldhave spent more time with you
when you were young and that,and that I have loved having
this time with you as the olderperson, and that's maybe that's
(31:15):
a better way to frame thatconversation.
Yeah, um, I, I, I had, I had avery serious conversation.
I had a very seriousconversation it was short but
serious with one of my girls andI apologized.
I said you know, I did not, Iwas not a good mom around this
aspect of your life and I'm verysorry that of the way I handled
(31:42):
it and I just felt like as anadult, I needed to acknowledge
my you know, and she felt it wasreally awkward and you know, of
course it's like no no, no, no,and I'm like, no, you know
you're being nice now, but weboth know I didn't do a very
good job with that.
But you know, I think it's a, Ithink it can be a gift that we
(32:03):
can give our kids to say youknow, and also so they know
you're gonna screw up, yes,you're gonna screw up.
So I guess I want to be alittle bit more present, a
little less harsh on myself thatI've got to do all this stuff,
(32:26):
because I think we all know,kitty, you've lost your dad.
Stacey, you lost your dad.
I lost both my parents.
Time runs out.
I lost both parents in their60s.
My mom was three years olderthan me right now when she
passed away.
(32:46):
Yeah, she had 186 unusedvacation days my gosh 186.
All of her life she'd won herher latter 15 years.
She'd always wanted to go toGermany to meet this friend.
She never went.
I think we can take a reallesson, a real lesson from the
(33:12):
younger generations, and youknow what Time off is needed.
I think studies have also beenshown that you are much more
productive and better when youcome back rested rested or
you've gotten away so well.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Other other countries do this much better than we do
as well.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yeah, yes, they do, yes, 100 and they seem to be
doing fine.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
Yeah, they do.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Yeah, so all right.
Well, I am going to takeanother vacay and I'm going to
be better about it.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Leave the tablet at home.
Leave the tablet at home, so umanybody have any shots?
Speaker 5 (34:06):
Okay, well, so let me just say this, and I've been
meaning to reach out to Ann asfollow-up to the Oscar episode.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yes, that's, that's dropping tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Okay, I've been watching.
I've been watching.
I've been watching some of themovies.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I did too what did you watch?
I just watched Conclave.
I thought it was great, youliked it.
I really liked it.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
I need to watch that.
So I watched Anora and oh, so Iwatched Anora and Anne was
right when she said there, it's,uh, it's a lot and don't watch
it with kids around.
Um, I had to kind of keepturning it off because I'm just
like, ah, it's too much, it'stoo much, it's too much, it's
(35:01):
very intense, you know, um, andyou know, and just have it a sad
story as well, did you?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
think it was oscar worthy.
Do you think her performancewas oscar worthy?
Speaker 5 (35:14):
I think she, I think she did a fabulous job.
Yes but.
Since I didn't, since I didn'thaven't seen the others, right,
I can't, can't, really.
Well, no, I'm sorry, I didwatch the Substance Bill Bill,
and I did watch that and that'sjust weird.
Um, I did feel that she, uh,what's her name?
(35:35):
Mikey.
Yeah.
Yeah, um, I did feel that thatshe was um, that she was um more
, that she was the Oscar qualityover Demi Moore.
I did.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Okay, very interesting.
So how about?
Speaker 3 (35:55):
you Stace?
Did you watch any more of them?
Speaker 4 (35:57):
No, I was not.
I've been on vacation, you knowmy vacation.
So no, I have not.
I've not watched anymore sincewe anymore, since we recorded
that episode.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
That wasn't streaming on your plane, anora.
Oh God no.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Okay, I did read a book, I got a book read, so yay,
chalk one up for me.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Good for you.
I know right On our last flight, well, when, when we went to
the dominican I was why.
I don't even remember now whatthe movie was, but there were a
lot of sex scenes, and so it wasbill and then myself, and then
there was a younger personsitting here, a boy who was
traveling his family.
They were all split up, so Imean he was probably 14, 13, 14.
(36:46):
So every time it would start toget hot and steamy.
I'm like it's just ask for didyou do this to him?
um yeah, oh my god, there'snothing worse than that.
It makes me feel so awkward,even if I wasn't a kid.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
It would have been worse if he was watching it.
That, I think, would have beenmore awkward.
You could have said excuse me,could you rewind that Wait?
Speaker 4 (37:20):
a minute.
I was watching that part.
Don't fast forward through that.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Oh, that's funny, awkward, yeah, so I want to
watch Anora and I did reallylike Conclave.
I like a good, yeah, a goodkind of mystery and it was yeah,
that was good and I mean it wasjust a packed cast oh yeah, it
(37:49):
was a big cast.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I think that's why they thought that had some big
potential, just because of thecast, yeah good, good, good.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
When we were talking about shots, I needed to circle
back on a shot, kitty, that youhad suggested to us a while back
about washing our bananas.
Okay yeah, I must be doing itwrong or using too cold of water
or something, because I rinsethem.
You know, rinse them, put themin my drying rack, and I come
(38:22):
back and they are instantlybruised, right.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Weird.
That is weird Cause I do itevery time now and it works like
a charm.
Cold water or warm waterRegular, like it's just you know
the no temperature, like notcold and not hot, just whatever
you're.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, well, that's what I thought I was doing, but
no, I've been doing it and ithas not worked for me.
Speaker 5 (38:55):
And they're bruised.
They're actually bruised, theygo to brown.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
They go brown faster.
Faster instead of slower.
Speaker 5 (39:02):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Are they organic no, I don't buy.
I don't buy organic bananasbecause I'm not going to eat the
outside.
I will buy organic apples,berries that's really weird.
I'm stumped, and you've triedit more than once yes, yes,
(39:27):
maybe I just have horrible waterdown here, which could also be
why a lot of my plants die andwhy I'm healthy.
Because I don't drink water.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I drink diet coke so you would like shrivel and die
if you drank your water.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I could be totally bruised, just like my bananas,
if I started your water.
I can be totally bruised justlike my bananas if I started
drinking water, for sure.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Yeah, follow us for more health tips.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Yes, exactly, I do have a shot that I'm pretty
geeked about.
Okay, cool, I found a productKenra it is the anti-humidity
spray.
It's getting to be rainy season.
Yes, this is fabulous Frizz andstatic control spray.
(40:14):
I've been using it for the lastweek and I absolutely love it
and it lasts like more than oneday.
And also, this is somethingmaybe you all knew, but I didn't
know until my last haircut,which I just got see, got a
little cut.
Um, spray your hairspray in thedirection you want your hair to
(40:34):
lay, not just this, but like Iwant this to, to lay here.
I need to spray it from herepointing down.
Never knew that.
Okay, what did it?
I'm in my 50s, but this isawesome.
Kenra anti-humidity spray.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
Can you get it at target?
Where do you get it?
Speaker 3 (40:59):
I got this at ulta.
I don't know if Target has it.
Target's Ulta section is hitand miss yeah.
And this is not one of theirstandards.
I don't think.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
You never know.
Okay, yeah, excellent, a goodone, anybody else, anyone.
I have nothing, ladies, I knowWell moral of the story take
vacation.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Take vacation and nation don't work on your
vacation to be present at work,be present on vacation.
Yeah, there you go.
Yep, all right, let's all tryit.
Okay, see what happens.
Um, and I think with that wecan call it a wrap.
(41:52):
Look at what Kitty's drinkingnot.
Not only does she not havewater she has nothing.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
I don't have a beverage.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (42:10):
Terrible.
I've got my lipstick and myring light there you go, have a
good week, you guys, you too.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Bye, bye, go coming.
I can't ever stop.
I'm a tour de force running.
Give me to the top.
I don't need an invitation.
I'm about to start acelebration.
Let me in.
Brought a good time for somefriends.
Turn it up loud past 10.
Hello running, get me to the top, I don't need a
hello, my dearest friends, hellohow are you both uh, doing,
doing.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
Well, look how pretty our colors are tonight.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
I know we didn't plan it.
No, we didn't nice.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I know I feel like you two match my back wall a
little bit more than I do.
That's all right.
Yeah Well, welcome everyone.
This is Three Cocktails In,hosted by Stacey Kitty and me,
amy, three friends who have beendoing shit for a long time and
still looking forward to doingsome more.
(01:03):
Of course, it just keepsgetting better, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Yeah, yeah, did you see the post this week?
That was a list and they'rejust weird things.
But do you see the list on theinfluence or bad influence
friends?
You know friends that are badinfluence and Amy and Stacey
made the list.
Whoo, no surprise there.
(01:29):
No, yes, guys, that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Amy for the win.
Yeah, yeah, sure, I think yourname is at the top of the list,
all right actually, as I wasreading through that list with
the exception of names likeNatalie and Amanda, and there
was one more I thought this justlooked like my kindergarten
(01:51):
list of classmates.
So it was all people whograduated in the 80s is what I
was reading, I think.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
so it really was kind of a list of names for people
that would be our age.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Karen was in there and, yeah, a lot, lot of you
know, yeah when was the lasttime you saw a baby, michelle?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
oh, I know, yeah.
Well, there's no baby Amy's orStacy or Kitty's anymore either
right, nope, we're a dying breed.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Actually, we're going to be the old-timey names that
are going to start to circleback, right, probably, well, amy
listen, amy, didn't your mom?
Speaker 5 (02:27):
didn't people say that to your mom when she said
she was naming you Amy?
And they said that's an oldlady's name.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yes, she said, the old women at church thought it
was a very old name and did notunderstand why she would name me
Amy.
Hmm, huh, interesting, hmm, huh, interesting.
Yep, I knew one girl when I wasleading Girl Scouts.
There was one family that had adaughter who was Amy and she
was, um, you know, 300 girls atcamp and she was the only Amy
(03:00):
under other than you know, underthe age of 30, 35.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Yeah 35.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah .
So I don't know, maybe in 20years, is that how long it takes
?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
It's pretty, who knows?
Speaker 6 (03:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
But very interesting again generations.
We're going to talk a littlebit about differing, how
different generations look atthings.
So I had this aha moment inthat I went on a little two-day
excursion and it's you know,I've told everybody my vacation
(03:39):
days are in the middle of theweek.
My days off are Thursday, youknow, tuesday, wednesday,
thursday, friday, somethingweird like that.
So I was taken to a very nicelittle resort up north and it
was lovely and we'd had thisplanned and it was really fun.
And like the week before, I gotrequests to show houses on the
(04:03):
second day of this trip.
Okay, yep, and I cut it shortand we drove back so I could
sell houses on the second day ofthis getaway and I was livid.
I fortunately he was justdelightful about the whole thing
.
He's just like hey, it's yourgig.
(04:24):
If that's what we need to do,that's what we need to do.
I'm going to support you inthat.
Awesome.
And I was.
I was mad and he's like don'tbe mad, you know this is.
I'm like no, this is stupid,this is absolutely stupid.
That I feel yes.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
I have a question.
Yes, so were you mad atyourself for saying, yeah, I'll
come and do it?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
That's what I wasn't sure 100% mad at myself that I
could not be away when I'm awayand not have to work.
And so Kitty and I got totalking, because I we must have
had a conversation aboutsomething.
And I brought this up and Isaid you know, when do you get
(05:11):
to that place where enough isenough?
How do you especially now,kitty, you're doing your own
thing.
I've wanted to beself-sufficient and independent
and loving.
So I'm where I want to be,kitty, you're where I want to be
.
Have you ever thought where'sthe balance come in this whole
(05:36):
work-life balance?
When is it okay to say you knowwhat?
I don't need that sale onFriday?
If they can reschedule, great.
If not, they can work withsomebody else.
Yeah, it just made me thinkabout all the vacation time that
(05:57):
goes wasted.
And, stacey, you're like well,duh, amy, of course we need to
have this conversation.
You work all the time, but I'dlike to point out, I'd like to
ask you how many vacation daysdo you have that you haven't
used?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
oh, I, I get.
I get a lot of vacation becauseagain, we've talked about this
I've worked, you know, 19 yearsat the same company.
So I have five weeks ofvacation and I I use my five
weeks.
But there were, there was ayear where I couldn't use much.
So I carry over a bunch, so Ican carry over about four weeks,
(06:36):
but I use five weeks a year.
Does that make sense?
So like say, this year I coulduse nine and I'd be out of
vacation.
Does that make sense?
So like say, this year I coulduse nine and I'd be out of
vacation.
Does that make sense?
So I keep using my five weeks,but I have some bank.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
So you're still using 2024 vacation.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I just used 2023.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
This goes to the heart of this conversation that
I want to have.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, but for me I also think, you know I mean when
you're on vacation I do.
But you know I'm getting betterat that too.
I never logged onto my laptop.
I just got back from vacationon Sunday, was gone for a week,
never got on my laptop.
So I am even getting better.
(07:27):
When we went to France I didn'ttake my laptop, you know, I
looked at emails, just so I cankind of keep up.
But other than that, yeah, yep,I don't work as much on
vacation as I used to as I usedto.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
I think so in this situation, amy, for you, I think
that it may only take once ortwice of that happening and you
being mad at yourself.
Before you'll start to um,you'll resist that urge to say
no, I have to do it, I have tobe there, I need to be able to
get those sales.
If I can get those sales, Ithink you just need to have a
(08:16):
couple of those and feel thatfeeling for you to know I am
obviously sacrificing havingsome rest and relaxation.
But then I feel this angerRight at different times and I
(08:44):
think that you just have tolisten to that gut feeling or
that reaction for you to knowwhen enough is enough.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
It's a tough one.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah, it is.
It's very tough.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, especially with what you do with the potential
of losing a sale.
You know, if you can't get itscheduled for the next day or
when you can be in the office,then yeah, you're giving up in
theory, giving up money.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
So that's a tough one if you had not gone back, what
would have happened?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
yeah, they would have gone to a different.
They would have.
We were going to a differentneighborhood and the only way I
get to be part part of that sale, even though I'm the procuring
cause, is if I take them.
Okay, If they go and somebodyelse helps them, it's there that
person's sale Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
So and that's the kicker they weren't willing to
just wait a day.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, they were from out of town.
That's when they had to do it.
Yeah, yep, um, it does make meirritated.
I did take my laptop to mytablet to France.
I think I pulled it up once.
I just took a bunch of days off.
Well, actually I took fourpersonal days but banked them
(10:10):
around that 4th of July again,so I can get a nine-day vacation
and I'm planning on goingsomewhere and I don't know that
I'm bringing my tablet.
I mean I can do a lot from myphone, yeah, but that will also,
I don't know.
I mean, that's hard.
I don't feel like I did.
(10:31):
We never canceled in Francebecause of it, but I did check
every day, every morning.
But still, even that's areminder of what you're missing
out on, which again gets to theheart of have you had
conversations with yourself,independent people?
(10:51):
You know how much is enough.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
I I have not put a number on that and I don't
really feel like I need to.
I think that there might be atime where I feel like I need to
.
Maybe something is feelingunbalanced.
If I get to the point where allI'm doing is working when I'm
(11:23):
at home, then there's a problem,that's an imbalance and that
would make me unhappy.
But for me personally, I am inthe building process with this
business and I'm loving it.
So when you're in thatsituation where you absolutely
love every single thing aboutwhat you're doing, it doesn't
(11:46):
feel like work right.
I mean, we hear people talkabout that all the time.
I feel like, for the first timein my life, that's where I'm at
, so I'm enjoying that.
Will that change?
Yeah, maybe at some point.
So I think we just we have tobe checking in with ourselves on
(12:06):
a regular basis to recognizethat, recognize when things are
out of balance and it's not somuch fun anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Well, you know, think about the people in your life
too.
I mean, with you going live asmany times a week as you do, you
have a pretty structuredschedule.
Yeah, you're not any more intospontaneity than I am you know,
there, there are no last minute,give me a call, I'll meet you
(12:39):
somewhere, sort of things, Causeyou know, and as we've talked,
the family's got to buy in, oryour partner or whoever.
And, um, you know the person Iwas with.
I already said he was verygreat about it and he said I
will never, ever put pressure onyou to change that.
And I said, oh, you say thatnow but, having you know, been
(13:02):
married to somebody that was ina family business, every single
vacation, every single holiday,we came back to talking about
work and I got it.
I understood it was their baby,but at a certain point I
started to resent it.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
And I don't want to and I'm learning, you know.
But now I'm the, I'm on theother side and, um, you know, we
can all say that it's fine andit's good but, you know,
irritating, yeah, I, I don'tthink I'm alone in this.
Soace, you've got a lot ofvacation days that you're still
(13:44):
rolling over.
I did a little research on thisand did some searching here.
The four out of ten employeesin the US take fewer vacation
days than they are allotted.
That's 40%.
That's a big number.
It's a big number.
(14:05):
It is a big number.
And of those that take lessthan allotted, 51% of us are in
the upper income bracket.
I don't know if I am reallyconsidered upper income, but
these are not People who are nottaking all their vacation, have
(14:28):
money and vacation time thatthey could be taking.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, Find that kind of interesting.
I would have thought well, Imean, it sounds true to the
three of us right here 51% ofthose with a bachelor's degree
take less time off than allotted.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
So it says that's an interesting statement toward
work ethic and commitment, youknow.
So why are these people nottaking the time?
Is it because they feel like ifthey take the time, the job
will suffer?
(15:15):
I'm the only one who can dothis job.
I can't leave it because no oneelse can step in the job itself
?
Well, yeah, in theory, you giveme four weeks of vacation, but
I can't take that.
We've got too much stuff.
We've got too much stuff goingon, and that's one of the things
that, especially with thepandemic and as the younger
(15:37):
generations are coming up,they're the ones who are saying
you figure it out, manager,because you've given me these
days, I'm going to take them.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Because you've given me these days, I'm going to take
them.
Actually, 21% of millennialstook 10 to 19 days vacation a
year Only 21%, so they're nottaking tons of vacation either,
which I think iscounterintuitive.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Well, how many do they get though?
Well, the average, okay, howmany?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
do they get, though?
So the average job?
But okay, I looked that up too.
So your first year average is11 days off.
A year at five years average is18.
And 20 days at 20 years.
I think those last two seem low.
(16:35):
I think the one year and fiveyear seem pretty normal.
Millennials, they're what?
28?
28 to 30, something Upper 30s,so it's gen z's that are younger
than that, but millennials are.
(16:55):
They're the workhorses rightnow.
They're the ones that arepushing, you know, to make the
money.
They're in prime money makingyears, and 21% only 21% took 10
to 19 days.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
They're also the ones with a bunch of kids and hard
to probably get away.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
You know what I mean.
I would like to take, I would.
I should have researched thatas well, but I don't think
millennials are having as manykids.
I think they've been late tohave kids yeah, that's, true I
just find it really I I do getwhat you're saying.
I about the, the gen z sort ofsort of group.
(17:43):
Um, I also think they changejobs more often so they're not
accruing large amounts ofvacation days.
But I noticed that in a coupleof jobs that my kids have had
they've had this unlimited PTO.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Yeah, which.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I think is a crock.
I do too, Because clearly, fromthe stats, employers know that
you're never going to take allthe vacation you possibly can.
So one of the things I alsolooked up was what does it cost
employers?
What's the cost?
(18:21):
I phrased the question as howmuch are employers saving?
But what came back to me was itcosts employers on average
$7,600 per employee for taxliability for unused vacation
days when they retire, Because alot of companies will offer and
(18:47):
it varies by state and itvaries by your contract if
they're going to pay you, ifthey pay out for vacation days.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
So life affirming and shattering.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
That couldn't be done five days later.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Right, right, that is exactly right.
Speaker 6 (19:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Nope, I made the mistake when I was working.
You know, I was pretty, youknow, in one of my first sales
positions something wasn't goingright and the furniture wasn't
get going to get delivered ontime.
It was gonna be like four dayslate and I was in the lunchroom
and I was talking to anothersalesperson.
I'm like, for God's sake, it'syou know, we're not selling
(19:42):
kidneys here, this isn't, youknow, brain surgery.
And the boss came right aroundand he gave me the biggest glare
.
He was pissed.
But I still stand by thatcomment.
I mean, yes, it was not good,the situation was not good, but
we needed to dial down just abit here.
Yep.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yep, this was not life-saving.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
It was not life-saving equipment that we
were selling.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yep, yeah, I don't know.
I always feel like you know,for me, I'm working a lot to be
able to go on vacation and getback and then work a lot to
catch up, which I think is howit is, and I think one I don't
know what episode and what thetopic even was at this point,
(20:31):
but I still stand by my ifyou're salaried, you don't work
40 hour week anyway.
You know, you can, you know,work more, work a little less,
whatever, you're still paid todo a job, not a week.
So if you take some vacationtime, you still have to
(20:51):
eventually get that work done.
So it's not, like you know, inmy experience anyway, there's
nobody picking up.
You know much of the slack, alittle, you know when you're
gone sometimes, but nobody'sreally doing.
You know what I mean.
No one's.
No one's doing my job for themost part when I'm gone.
(21:14):
I just do it when I get back.
Yeah, so there's no reason notto take time off.
You're going to have to do itanyway, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Kitty, do you have that funny video, that reel?
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I do.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Okay, so this was also how we got to laughing
about this.
We follow, or I follow somebody, I think Stacy you do too.
Do you have the name of theaccount?
Do you see what her account is,Jamie?
Speaker 5 (21:53):
Let me I can look it up real quick.
I don't think it is on the reel.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
She's a millennial who is kind of runs a team of
photographers who go shootvideos and photograph homes that
are for sale and her team ishilarious and it's all recorded
(22:23):
phone calls that she's had withthem and we can't decide if it's
spoof.
If it's real, we'd like towe're hopeful that it's had with
them and we can't decide ifit's spoof.
If it's real, we'd like towe're hopeful that it's a spoof.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yes, I hope that it's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
I hope.
We hope that it's not real, butthis one I thought was
especially good.
And on this topic now, I know Iknow the video doesn't show
quite right, but listen to, tothe phone call.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Okay, her name is Jamie Lynch.
Her Instagram handle is simply,simply, and then another Y, and
then a period, and then Jamie,j-a-m-i-e-e-e, okay and yes.
So if you're watching this onYouTube, really just listen to
it.
It's not formatted for thisscreen.
(23:11):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Hey Reverie, what is up?
Can you move me back down toone shift a week?
You just went back up to threeshifts.
Yeah, now I'm over it.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
My gosh.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
I literally used to work two jobs when I was your
age.
I'm so tired of hearing you oldpeople say that Old people, two
jobs when I was your age.
I'm so tired of hearing you oldpeople say that old people like
congrats, you all workedyourself dead.
Long days, long nights, no daysoff, never called in sick.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
No, for real, it's like anhonor that you guys didn't stop
working at five or take weekendsoff.
Like where are you in life?
(23:43):
Are you super rich and furtherahead in your career?
Do you have a plaque at any ofthose jobs?
Okay, that's, that's a bitharsh reverie.
But for real, jamie, don't bebragging about that grind vibe.
It's giving super lowself-worth.
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna go reverie,okay.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
The grind vibe, yeah, the grind vibe.
You old people and I'm prettysure Jamie's probably younger
than we are oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Yeah, do you have a plaque?
Yeah, do you have a?
Plaque for all the hard work.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yeah, how's that?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
for you.
Yeah, those conversations thatJamie has with her employees or
her team, oh God, they're funny.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
It's got to be parody .
If anybody ever came at me withthat sort of conversation, I
would not be able to hold myselfback.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Oh, I'd end up laughing just like Jamie, what
old people?
Oh, okay, yeah, so do you getthat?
I'm sorry, go ahead, but youhave to wonder what they think.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
You know, do they really?
Do they really think like thatthat we've just, you know, just
work hard because of the moneyand sacrificed home life in some
situations?
You know what I mean.
So, um, you know, you wonder ifthey think that because I feel
(25:24):
like the Gen Z's really don'tcare to work so much you know
they're not working for themoney that they have some other
motivation.
I think you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I don't know, maybe, what I mean.
So I don't know, maybe I thinka lot of us who work a lot of
hours are doing it for notalways the money either.
I think we do have a lot.
We get a lot of self-worthRight, our self-worth, and
Reverie says that you know, wedo choose to work a lot.
(26:05):
I know for me, I want the win, Iwant the win of the sale.
I think I told you, kitty, whenI got my W-2 last year, I had
no idea how much money I made.
I mean, I had a general ideabut I had not really a number,
because mine is kind ofcommission-based a number,
because mine is kind of commitkind of commission based.
So numbers fluctuate.
But I could tell you exactlyhow many sales I had and I could
(26:28):
almost tell you who boughtevery single home and what the
address was, and so that was alittle bit of the whole.
Self-discovery is sure Mightnot be just about the money,
it's also about Ooh, I gotanother one, I got another one
you know this whole right, thewin, yeah right which serves you
(26:50):
really well in what you'redoing, yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
I mean your, your employer's got to be just
jumping up and down that you'reon their team, because that's
what they, that's what they want, right they hire a lot of
athletes, a lot of formerathletes, okay yeah, well, and
that's uh, that's a.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
You know there's a big list of things that motivate
people, and one is you knowmeeting goals, you know being,
you know doing your job verywell.
You know I get it.
Yes, it's just not.
It's not just for the money.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
And.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
I'm guessing.
You know those are some of thethings that I think the Gen Z
don't don't see.
Does that make any sense?
You know what I mean?
They're not.
They're not working for allthose reasons, and so that's
what I'm saying.
They're working, maybe formoney, but yet they want to take
, take the time off.
You know they want to be doneat four o'clock or five o'clock
or whatever.
Those kinds of things.
More for the.
You know, work life balance.
Speaker 5 (27:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Well, go ahead Sorry.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Well it's.
It's when we were, when wegraduated from college and we
were getting those first jobsand starting to work.
You worked and we never talkedabout work-life balance and
things like that.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
We also didn't take jobs doing things that we loved.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
Right, yeah, every experience that we have in life
makes us who we are today, so Ireally try to not have regrets,
but I do acknowledge that whenBill and I were first married
and we had Beau, I really dowish that I had taken more time
(29:03):
to be home with him.
I wish that I hadn't put so muchpressure on myself to get up
and out the door and get him todaycare by 7 o'clock in the
morning or 7.30, so I could getto work.
Because, oh my God, I'm goingto be late Really.
Like you said earlier, amy orStacey, I can't be late really.
(29:25):
Like you said earlier, amy orstacy, I can't remember which
one of you said it now, was theworld going to end if I wasn't
in my office by 7 30 in themorning?
No, you know dipshit, who likesto comment on who.
You know who's the?
Oh, there was a guy I workedwith.
He called everybody five oo'clock Charlies if they were
(29:46):
leaving the office at fiveo'clock.
And yeah, I was one of thosepeople.
I wanted to go pick up my sonfrom daycare and get home so I
could have an evening, but itjust wasn't the norm.
Yeah, and I've got a bit ofregret on that and I've even
stopped myself short of sittingdown with Bo sometime and saying
(30:08):
Bo, did you feel like and I,you know it's going to make me
cry to actually say the word, soI'm not going to say the word
but did you feel like you had agood youth with mom and dad
(30:29):
working and the rigor of thatand going to daycare and you
know.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
I think that I don't think you should have that.
I don't think you should framethe conversation that way,
because he's in a no-winsituation.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Yeah, he's not going to tell you.
No, you know it's all yourfault.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
So I wonder if you can phrase the conversation to
have it with him to say you know, I don't have many regrets in
life, but I do wish that I couldhave spent more time with you
when you were young and that,and that I have loved having
this time with you as the olderperson, and that's maybe that's
(31:15):
a better way to frame thatconversation.
Yeah, um, I, I, I had, I had avery serious conversation.
I had a very seriousconversation it was short but
serious with one of my girls andI apologized.
I said you know, I did not, Iwas not a good mom around this
aspect of your life and I'm verysorry that of the way I handled
(31:42):
it and I just felt like as anadult, I needed to acknowledge
my you know, and she felt it wasreally awkward and you know, of
course it's like no no, no, no,and I'm like, no, you know
you're being nice now, but weboth know I didn't do a very
good job with that.
But you know, I think it's a, Ithink it can be a gift that we
(32:03):
can give our kids to say youknow, and also so they know
you're gonna screw up, yes,you're gonna screw up.
So I guess I want to be alittle bit more present, a
little less harsh on myself thatI've got to do all this stuff,
(32:26):
because I think we all know,kitty, you've lost your dad.
Stacey, you lost your dad.
I lost both my parents.
Time runs out.
I lost both parents in their60s.
My mom was three years olderthan me right now when she
passed away.
(32:46):
Yeah, she had 186 unusedvacation days my gosh 186.
All of her life she'd won herher latter 15 years.
She'd always wanted to go toGermany to meet this friend.
She never went.
I think we can take a reallesson, a real lesson from the
(33:12):
younger generations, and youknow what Time off is needed.
I think studies have also beenshown that you are much more
productive and better when youcome back rested rested or
you've gotten away so well.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Other other countries do this much better than we do
as well.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Yeah, yes, they do, yes, 100 and they seem to be
doing fine.
Speaker 5 (33:43):
Yeah, they do.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Yeah, so all right.
Well, I am going to takeanother vacay and I'm going to
be better about it.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Leave the tablet at home.
Leave the tablet at home, so umanybody have any shots?
Speaker 5 (34:06):
Okay, well, so let me just say this, and I've been
meaning to reach out to Ann asfollow-up to the Oscar episode.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yes, that's, that's dropping tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
Okay, I've been watching.
I've been watching.
I've been watching some of themovies.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I did too what did you watch?
I just watched Conclave.
I thought it was great, youliked it.
I really liked it.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
I need to watch that.
So I watched Anora and oh, so Iwatched Anora and Anne was
right when she said there, it's,uh, it's a lot and don't watch
it with kids around.
Um, I had to kind of keepturning it off because I'm just
like, ah, it's too much, it'stoo much, it's too much, it's
(35:01):
very intense, you know, um, andyou know, and just have it a sad
story as well, did you?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
think it was oscar worthy.
Do you think her performancewas oscar worthy?
Speaker 5 (35:14):
I think she, I think she did a fabulous job.
Yes but.
Since I didn't, since I didn'thaven't seen the others, right,
I can't, can't, really.
Well, no, I'm sorry, I didwatch the Substance Bill Bill,
and I did watch that and that'sjust weird.
Um, I did feel that she, uh,what's her name?
(35:35):
Mikey.
Yeah.
Yeah, um, I did feel that thatshe was um, that she was um more
, that she was the Oscar qualityover Demi Moore.
I did.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Okay, very interesting.
So how about?
Speaker 3 (35:55):
you Stace?
Did you watch any more of them?
Speaker 4 (35:57):
No, I was not.
I've been on vacation, you knowmy vacation.
So no, I have not.
I've not watched anymore sincewe anymore, since we recorded
that episode.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
That wasn't streaming on your plane, anora.
Oh God no.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Okay, I did read a book, I got a book read, so yay,
chalk one up for me.
Speaker 5 (36:21):
Good for you.
I know right On our last flight, well, when, when we went to
the dominican I was why.
I don't even remember now whatthe movie was, but there were a
lot of sex scenes, and so it wasbill and then myself, and then
there was a younger personsitting here, a boy who was
traveling his family.
They were all split up, so Imean he was probably 14, 13, 14.
(36:46):
So every time it would start toget hot and steamy.
I'm like it's just ask for didyou do this to him?
um yeah, oh my god, there'snothing worse than that.
It makes me feel so awkward,even if I wasn't a kid.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
It would have been worse if he was watching it.
That, I think, would have beenmore awkward.
You could have said excuse me,could you rewind that Wait?
Speaker 4 (37:20):
a minute.
I was watching that part.
Don't fast forward through that.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Oh, that's funny, awkward, yeah, so I want to
watch Anora and I did reallylike Conclave.
I like a good, yeah, a goodkind of mystery and it was yeah,
that was good and I mean it wasjust a packed cast oh yeah, it
(37:49):
was a big cast.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I think that's why they thought that had some big
potential, just because of thecast, yeah good, good, good.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
When we were talking about shots, I needed to circle
back on a shot, kitty, that youhad suggested to us a while back
about washing our bananas.
Okay yeah, I must be doing itwrong or using too cold of water
or something, because I rinsethem.
You know, rinse them, put themin my drying rack, and I come
(38:22):
back and they are instantlybruised, right.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Weird.
That is weird Cause I do itevery time now and it works like
a charm.
Cold water or warm waterRegular, like it's just you know
the no temperature, like notcold and not hot, just whatever
you're.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, well, that's what I thought I was doing, but
no, I've been doing it and ithas not worked for me.
Speaker 5 (38:55):
And they're bruised.
They're actually bruised, theygo to brown.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
They go brown faster.
Faster instead of slower.
Speaker 5 (39:02):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Are they organic no, I don't buy.
I don't buy organic bananasbecause I'm not going to eat the
outside.
I will buy organic apples,berries that's really weird.
I'm stumped, and you've triedit more than once yes, yes,
(39:27):
maybe I just have horrible waterdown here, which could also be
why a lot of my plants die andwhy I'm healthy.
Because I don't drink water.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I drink diet coke so you would like shrivel and die
if you drank your water.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I could be totally bruised, just like my bananas,
if I started your water.
I can be totally bruised justlike my bananas if I started
drinking water, for sure.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Yeah, follow us for more health tips.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Yes, exactly, I do have a shot that I'm pretty
geeked about.
Okay, cool, I found a productKenra it is the anti-humidity
spray.
It's getting to be rainy season.
Yes, this is fabulous Frizz andstatic control spray.
(40:14):
I've been using it for the lastweek and I absolutely love it
and it lasts like more than oneday.
And also, this is somethingmaybe you all knew, but I didn't
know until my last haircut,which I just got see, got a
little cut.
Um, spray your hairspray in thedirection you want your hair to
(40:34):
lay, not just this, but like Iwant this to, to lay here.
I need to spray it from herepointing down.
Never knew that.
Okay, what did it?
I'm in my 50s, but this isawesome.
Kenra anti-humidity spray.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
Can you get it at target?
Where do you get it?
Speaker 3 (40:59):
I got this at ulta.
I don't know if Target has it.
Target's Ulta section is hitand miss yeah.
And this is not one of theirstandards.
I don't think.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
You never know.
Okay, yeah, excellent, a goodone, anybody else, anyone.
I have nothing, ladies, I knowWell moral of the story take
vacation.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Take vacation and nation don't work on your
vacation to be present at work,be present on vacation.
Yeah, there you go.
Yep, all right, let's all tryit.
Okay, see what happens.
Um, and I think with that wecan call it a wrap.
(41:52):
Look at what Kitty's drinkingnot.
Not only does she not havewater she has nothing.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
I don't have a beverage.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (42:10):
Terrible.
I've got my lipstick and myring light there you go, have a
good week, you guys, you too.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Bye, bye, go coming.
I can't ever stop.
I'm a tour de force running.
Give me to the top.
I don't need an invitation.
I'm about to start acelebration.
Let me in.
Brought a good time for somefriends.
Turn it up loud past 10.
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