April 3, 2025 • 47 mins
The journey to make meaningful friendships as adults isn't easy, but it's a challenge worth pursuing. In this candid conversation, we dive into month three of our year-long friendship-building experiment, examining what's working, what's not, and why building connections seems harder than ever.
After a midnight confrontation with a weed-smoking neighbor (not exactly friendship material), we share our progress from last month's challenge. Success stories include reconnecting with an acquaintance over "one glass of wine" that turned into an evening requiring a designated driver pickup, vacationing with friends we hadn't spent quality time with recently, and brave solo outings to local establishments. Each small victory represents a step toward building a richer social life.
For month three, we're tackling group activities – joining clubs, volunteering for community events, attending fitness classes, or hosting gatherings. These structured environments provide natural conversation starters and connect people with shared interests. We explore why this approach might be especially important today, as traditional community-builders like religious organizations play a diminishing role in many people's lives.
The statistics are eye-opening: approximately 42% of younger generations identify as less religious than their predecessors, removing what was once a natural foundation for friendship formation. Without these built-in communities, we must work harder to create meaningful connections.
The takeaway is clear: friendship requires a plan, persistence, and patience. Not every social outing yields a new best friend, but each attempt builds confidence and creates possibilities. Join us as we navigate this journey together, sharing both successes and awkward moments along the way.
Ready to build your own friendship circle? Listen now, then follow along with our monthly challenges. We'd love to hear your experiences too!
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, hello, good evening, good evening.
How is everyone?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm good, everybody's good.
Well, I hope everyone listeningor watching also good Cause
(00:49):
this is three cocktails in withAmy, kitty and Stacy.
We're here every week.
Did you know that we're hereevery week with the new episode?
Pretty amazing, we've gone thislong.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Yeah, it is the only thing that has remained
consistent that I have committedto.
You know, if I would havedesignated one night a week to
work out and bend this religious, I would probably weigh less
than I do.
Yeah, right, even one night aweek yeah, that's right oh well,
(01:23):
this is more fun than that.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, a lot more, yes, and it's mentally healthy yes
yes, it is a win-win I know weget to see each other every week
talk about crazy stuffwhatever's on their mind at the
time, right yeah, um, I have acrazy story to share.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I do so.
I don't know if I've talkedabout this um or not before, but
I, yes, I live in a condo but,um, my next door neighbor likes
to smoke a little bit smoke alittle weed a little bit, likes
(02:10):
to smoke a little bit smoke alittle weed a little bit.
And I went, I went off last.
I actually went and looked itup.
Last November I complained tomanagement.
I'm like I am tired of my placesounded smelling like an
ashtray.
I'm ticked off.
It was that in between stage,when it wasn't cold enough to
have the air conditioning on, itwasn't hot enough to have the
air conditioning on, it wasn'thot enough to have the heat on,
so I didn't have any.
I didn't have anything blowing.
So, you know, sense, just memeandered in, you know whatever,
(02:34):
and I didn't really blow themout.
Um, two nights ago at 1130 atnight, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,
I got a knock on my door.
I was out, I was asleep, youknow.
So I throw my robe on and Ikind of go and look like am I
hearing things or what.
It was my neighbor.
He was like come, I go, hello.
(02:55):
You know, I'm kind of out of it.
And he goes, come to the door.
I'm like, um, hello, yes, Ididn't open the door.
I'm like, no way, yeah, quitcalling the office and telling
him I'm smoking.
I get fined every time you dothat.
I just got home.
For god's sake, I haven't evenbeen home tonight.
I'm like I didn't call, Ididn't call on you.
(03:18):
Oh, come on.
He says I'm like, no, I didn'tcall.
Well, and then he went to his,went to his room.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, wow, great, I know so at least you know you're
not the only one complainingabout it.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I know, you know I didn't do anything about it, but
when I came home from work thenext day I knocked on his door
because I just wanted to set therecord straight and say hey, I
just, I just want to point out Ihaven't complained since
november.
So if you're getting fines,there are a lot of other people
that must be must be getting thesame smell.
Yeah, and it has it.
(03:59):
I actually haven't complainedin a long time because it's far
and few between and it doesn'tpermeate the whole, my whole
condo.
It's just kind of a little bitin my bedroom and, as I kind of
have joked before, I am only inmy bedroom when I go to sleep.
So it might be a sleep aid thatI'm getting secondhand, you
know sort of thing, but, um,that that was a little fine.
(04:21):
How do you do?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, so was was.
So.
Was he home then?
When you knocked on his door,no, he didn't answer oh, I don't
know if he was home or not.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, so I thought about sliding a note under the
door, but at this point I justkind of feel like letting it go.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but, yeah, but that's interesting
that he would think it's you andcome at you.
I know, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Probably not good.
So is he getting a fine becausesomebody's complaining or is he
not supposed to be smokingbecause he owns the unit?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
No, he's a renter, but it doesn't matter if you
rent or own.
No, he's a renter, but itdoesn't matter if you rent or
own.
You can't smoke indoors unlessyou've been here since before
that law went into effect.
So that unit's not, that's not,grandfathered in, and even if
the unit is and it's a rental,that doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
If it's a rental unit , um, there is no interest.
Well, welcome to city livingpeople.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, maybe he'll get kicked out four years, almost
four years I've been down hereand that's the, you know, other
than the first weekend when theguy across the hall decided he
didn't like me, and he's nevertalked to me since, no other
than that I'm a good neighbor.
Evidently, this was that.
(05:53):
Is it the same guy across thestreet or across the hall?
For me, no, two ones.
One's right next door.
So, um, my bedroom wall sharesa wall with I don't know what
how their layout is.
The other one's right doorwayto doorway across the hall.
Yeah, so Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
So, you're not really making any friends right In
your apartment, nope, and I wasout of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I was going to say that's our topic for tonight
we're going to.
This is month.
We're starting month three ofour making friends, our
friendship plan.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Month one was stepping out of your comfort
zone, deciding what you want outof new friendships, how you can
look for new friends in yourcommunity.
Last month, step two was allabout, you know, taking some
action, saying yes to socialinvitations, getting out of your
(06:59):
comfort zone again, maybefrequenting a local spot like a
coffee shop or a bar or a gym orsomething also suggested, maybe
engaging with co-workers.
So first, before we start stepthree, we should kind of review
what we did in the last month.
(07:21):
Okay, does anybody haveanything?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I can go.
So a couple of things.
There's a woman here in townthat I've known for years and
we'll see each other every oncein a while, and every time we
see each other we always say, oh, we should, we should go have a
(07:49):
drink, or we should meet forcoffee or whatever.
Um, and so we actually made ithappen.
Um, I asked again and thetiming worked out.
So, um, she and I met at fouro'clock on Monday up at
Heartbreakers.
Um, I thought it was just goingto be one glass of wine.
(08:10):
Um, I am a little embarrassedto say that I don't know.
It was probably around.
Let's see, it was probablyaround 730.
Bill had to come and pick me up.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
I love this for you, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Right, we had a good time.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
We chatted and chatted and chatted and chatted
and um yeah, so I was not ableto drive home and it made
Tuesday a little less productivethan I wish it had been.
But uh, it was.
It was fun and so I see usgetting together again so that
(08:54):
was one thing that I did yeah,did you schedule it?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I have a feeling you know it well at for me, if it's
not like a schedule or a hey,we're going to do this again in
a month or two weeks, orwhatever it'll be.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
You know all of a sudden, you'll find it yeah,
yeah, months.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Easier to go by the To go by the wayside.
So she and her husband areleaving.
They're leaving on a road tripfor the whole month of April.
So we said, all right, when youguys get back let's the four of
us go.
And you know, specificallycalled out a couple of
restaurants.
They live in Victoria.
So you know, let's go hitWinchester and Rye or let's go
(09:39):
hit the Noble Lion when you guysget back.
So that's the action.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
That's as far as we could take it yeah, yeah, good,
that's also really perfecttiming, because now you can say
I, we want to hear all aboutyour trip.
Yeah, tell us all about yourtrip.
So I think sometimes that'swhat the fear is what are we
going to talk about?
Yeah, you, you know, especiallyif you're now going to bring
your, your husbands or partnersin, are they going to like them?
(10:07):
You know it's, it's, it's a bigdeal for you, for us and
somebody new, but now we'reintroducing, you know, our
partners into it.
That's the perfect situationwhere you will have topic of
conversation to at least get youstarted and somewhere to go,
yeah, yeah, exciting topic ofconversation to at least get you
started and somewhere to go.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, yeah, exciting.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Good job, gold star, thank you gold star you probably
wasn't all that happy with me,but that's another story oh,
he'll get over it, it'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, I mentioned a couple of things I was going to
work on.
One.
Was you remember I said weinvited a couple to go on
vacation with us that we hadn'tdone much with for a while Went
on vacation to Mexico.
It was fabulous, we had a greattime.
So that was fun, kind ofreconnecting, and you know
(11:07):
getting back.
Yeah, yeah, so that was fun.
Um, the other one was I wasgoing to you said hey, you
should go hang out at Juniperand Olive, which is our little
cocktail bar real close to here.
I did that once.
There was literally no one, noone, no one there, you know, to
(11:30):
really connect with.
You know what I mean, madisonand I went.
So it wasn't that it was the twoof us and there was no.
You know, it didn't look likewe would, you know, talk to
anyone else.
There were just about threeother tables and they were big
groups.
There was one group of likefour different couples and they
(11:51):
were obviously there just totalk to each other and a family
at a table.
They were obviously just thereand no one other than the two of
us sitting at the bar.
So that you, that's that's athing, you know it.
It'll have to be a time whenthere's people it's busier
people sitting at the barlooking for, you know,
(12:14):
conversation type of thing.
So, yeah, that'll take me,that'll take me a while.
Can't go there just all thetime.
It's only open on weekends andonly even some weekends.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
So there you go.
But also it wasn't wastedbecause it's good practice.
Oh, yeah, it's good practiceand the next time you go easier.
And then also a note in yourhead that like, if I want to
talk to somebody, I need to beat the bar.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, because, oh absolutely, tables were not open
for business right, that'sexactly it and that, and I knew
that that's where we sat.
Yeah, um, and I've known thatthere's been times when I've
been there when the bars, whenthe bar, you know, seating is
packed and there's a hundredpeople, you know a bunch of
people to talk to.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's just a bummer of a day yeah, do you know the
people that own that own?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
the place yeah she wasn't there oh, yeah, oh yeah,
you're off well I know she does,you know, you know, so she
wasn't there.
There, the couple of bartendersthat were were busy, you know,
(13:27):
because there was only then two,you know, without her and
usually there's even more thanthat.
So they were busy.
So, yeah, no, it was fun.
Anyway, madison and I alwayshave a good time, but yeah, it
was kind of a bummer that therewas no one there to chat up.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I'll have to try it again and I will.
Good yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Okay, how about you, Amy?
Speaker 4 (13:53):
I went to my favorite little local bar by myself one
night because it was on the wayhome and it was a nice enough
night to walk on the way homeand it was a nice enough night
to walk.
I sat right down kind of infront of the two TVs where I
like to sit at the bar and youknow there's single person, two
seats, single guy, two seats.
So I was going to end upsitting by somebody anyway.
(14:14):
And I'm almost done with mymeal and a man comes and sits
down next to me because it hadgotten a little bit bigger and
he was debating about he was new, similar of age, debating about
dessert and I had just finishedtheir apple crisp.
I must have been celebrating asale, because that's usually
(14:34):
when I go down and you know, getmyself a glass of wine, a
little bit of dinner and ofcourse we struck up a
conversation and I met Daniel,who was in for business and his
son is just going to go toHarvard next year, and had just
a nice conversation with him andgot up to leave and he's like
thank you so much, it's so niceto have met you.
Oh nice.
(14:55):
It's kind of fun.
So I think that, like we'vetalked about before, when you're
traveling, for some reason it'seasier to just strike up
conversations with people.
Yeah, yeah, and he, I watchedfor the cues and he was, you
know, not quite sure about thewhole restaurant and you know I
was at Red Cow and I kind of youknow he goes.
(15:15):
So what do you think aboutthese three desserts?
I'm like, mmm, not this one,this, these two are really good.
So he was asking in mywheelhouse.
The other thing I'm actuallygoing to do Friday night is I'm
going to a work retirement party, oh, with somebody that works
on the construction side ofthings that I've talked to a few
(15:38):
times in the past two years.
I don't really run into him allthat often, but he's been a
mainstay at the company sinceyou know he was probably like
the third hire.
Uh, so it's at Mystic Lake, soI probably will just drive over
there after work and pop in andsay hey and talk to my, talk to
(15:59):
my coworkers a little bit andhead home.
Yeah, okay, yeah, I'm notreally a casino person and you
know they'll all have couplesaround and I'll be the singleton
again, and so yeah, but stillopportunity to see people.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Maybe you don't very often network right with here,
right you know?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
yeah and try and have a little.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Be there, yeah, be there but, there are people that
I have phone conversations withbut I never have in-person
conversations with, so I'mprobably gonna have to do a
little Google search to makesure I can put faces and names
together.
I kind of think maybe I shouldsuggest that on everybody's
(16:48):
signature line they have a photoof themselves, so when we're
emailing each other back andforth we can at least have a
face, because you know, you,your first week that you're
there in training, you meeteverybody and then you're gone
and you don't know anythingabout the company to put any
links together, to remember thefaces and the names and what
(17:10):
they do.
And so now you know, months andmonths later, I have, you know,
probably called two people thewrong name.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
So, yeah, yeah, that's a good one so we all did
something.
Yeah, we did, we did.
I think part of the moral ofthe story is it takes a while
(17:40):
and it's not easy and it takessome work.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
You know, takes a plan, yeah, and then you have to
do it.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
You actually have to do it, yeah.
And then you have to do it.
You actually have to do it,yeah, yep.
And once isn't enough.
Oh, right, right, you have tokeep consistency, right?
I feel like I hear that wordevery time I turn around.
And it's so true, it's, it's,it can be the secret sauce to so
many things.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right, Yep, so month three.
Here's what it suggests formonth three Explore group
activities.
So it suggests join a recurringsocial club like a book club or
a sports team or a languagegroup.
I don't know what a languagegroup is sports team or a
language group?
I don't know what a languagegroup is.
(18:24):
What is a language group?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
well, if, like, if you wanted to go take classes on
how to speak spanish, let'sspeak something else.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
All right, uh, volunteer for a community event
or charity, attend a groupfitness class like low yoga,
cycling, martial arts, and thelast one host a small gathering
at home to practice your socialhosting skills.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
There you go I think we're all pretty good at the
social hosting skills.
Yes, yeah, I think that, um, wehave a pretty good success rate
with the book club, becausethis podcast started from book
club and long ranging funds, butyou know, some of those other
(19:11):
things that we got to go try anddo event or charity would put
you with people with your sameinterest.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I think finding you know other people that you know
in your community that areactive in doing different things
.
I can see that as putting youclose together with other people
you know within your communitypretty quickly.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
And it also gets back to the idea that you don't have
something new to talk about.
You have a subject right there.
So you already have aconnection point that you can
build on.
And if they're in yourcommunity, you probably have,
you probably are going torecognize them at a minimum, or
(20:06):
some people, so whether it's aneighbor or you know, your bank
teller or grocery clerk orsomething like that.
So that's a nice, that is anice way in.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, it's an interesting one.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yep, I went to the so I go to the post office every
Monday morning with my packagesand last week I walked in and
there was another woman who wasbringing some things in and we
looked at each other and I justfelt like I know this person.
She looks really familiar, I'veseen her somewhere and we both
(20:51):
kind of you know when you'reboth trying to figure it out.
And I said I feel like I knowyou and we, we kind of you know,
said, oh well, you know, areyour kids so well, you know Bo's
much older than her kids are.
So it wasn't that and we triedto compare a few things.
We couldn't come up with it.
(21:12):
But that was an interestingexchange because it didn't
produce anything Right, it wasshort enough that it was just
going to be oh well okay, have agood day, you know, but I don't
know.
Clearly, I've seen her somewhereand I I might see her again,
and so now, the next time I dosee her, we're going to do it
(21:35):
again.
We're going to be like allright, we're going to the same
places here, maybe.
Maybe we should know each other.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yeah.
And then you can say Idefinitely know, I've seen you
before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I'm the post office answer.
I'm your post office pal, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
But I mean I easily could have just walked away, I
easily could have just said ohyeah, wow, that lady looks
familiar.
I don't know who it is.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
I had somebody come in during Parade of Homes.
It's been Parade of Homes forthe last month and that means
Friday, saturday, sunday.
There are probably close to 400homes all around the metro area
that are open for anybody tocome and walk through.
You don't have to have arealtor.
A lot of people love to come inand just see what the new
design trends are, what are thecolors, what are the decorating.
So I've had a lot of traffic inthe last you know three weeks
(22:30):
and a couple came in and Ilooked at her.
I know, I know you, I know, Iknow you.
We did the same exact thing.
She wasn't.
You know when you, when you're,when you're doing that and
you're the salesperson with aname tag on, people don't really
want to jump in quite as deepfor fear that you're digging for
(22:53):
them, but you know it was kindof fun.
So, yes, I have seen peoplethat I, I know and I like it,
and also it's a little bit hard.
Kitty, you probably have thesame issue that I do.
Nobody knows us as blondes.
We've been in that area asbrunettes for super long time
(23:14):
and I changed my last name, somy name tag has a different last
name than what they might putit together with daughters and
stuff.
So just other things to workthrough than what they might,
you know, put it together withdaughters and stuff.
Yeah, you know just otherthings to to work through, but
it makes it interesting the moreyou do it.
You never know.
You'd never know what theconnection will be.
And if they're, you know, justas sassy and smart alecky as I
(23:41):
am, then that's a fun exchange.
Yeah, it's a micro connection.
Even if it's not a friend, it'sa micro connection.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yep, it's a connection, that's right.
Yeah, that is right.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So in that list of stuff I find it really
interesting Nobody that listdidn't mention church groups.
Yeah, I've been thinking aboutthat a lot lately, how that's
one of the, the things that Ithink parents or at least I
(24:15):
remember my parents being super,super involved in was church,
you know, and they're they, Iwould say the core of their
friends came from, or at leaststarted in church, and then they
found out, oh yeah, they liketo golf, they like to play cards
, they like to do all theseother things.
So I did a little dive, but I'mjust really interesting,
(24:38):
interested.
Have you noticed that in yourfriends, in your groups, in your
communities, that that thereisn't that organized religion?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
yeah, yes for sure, especially um, around us.
Being a small town, everybody,everybody that goes to church,
goes to Ames or Webster City.
They go to a bigger city, youknow, and go to church.
I mean, there, there are, thereare churches out, you know,
(25:13):
there are churches in Jewel,there's some others close, but a
lot of people do go to thesedifferent churches and it seems
to be that there are very Idon't know even what to call
them the new type of christianchurch, not necessarily a
denomination, but they're, yeah,they seem to be getting bigger
(25:38):
and the you know, denominationalchurch seemed to be dwindling.
You know the, and I'm talkingabout the type of church that
has daycare for kids.
You know a coffee shop in theentryway.
You know the very music and Bigscreens.
(25:59):
Big screens, you know, thatseems to draw um, you know
younger people, I'll admit ityou know, younger people with
families, whereas theold-fashioned lutheran church
like my mom goes to, forinstance, there's no one, hardly
anyone there.
You know what I mean?
(26:20):
Oh, I have a funny story.
How about this?
So a couple weeks ago went homeand, um, you know, went to
church with my mom and mybrother now my mother was very
active in church.
You know she had to be thegreeter of, of course, because
(26:41):
she's always doing something.
So she went early and then mybrother and I went, you know, 20
minutes later and we walk inand sit down in a pew and she
gets her greeting done and walksin and then doesn't sit by us.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Oh, Because you didn't sit in her pew.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Probably not, I don't know, and we just looked at
each other like whatever, Idon't know.
I don't know if she forgot inthat 20 minutes that we were
there.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I have no idea but it was.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
We looked at each other like wow, whatever, anyway
.
But I just but it was just anoticing that the people that
were there were the same people.
I remember going to church as akid.
I mean, you know, they're allin their you know 70s and 80s
and there were no families.
Families, no kids.
(27:40):
You know what I mean?
I just think that's lost theappeal to you know, families as
part of a community.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
So I called on the chat, the chat GPT and asked for
a comparison to 1980s.
You know the church, churchgoers breakdown by denominations
, by regionality, trying youknow just general demographics
and they found something like42% of Gen Z and millennials are
(28:20):
are less religious than youknow older they did.
There was a statistic that didsay as people get married and
have kids they come back to thechurch.
It shows up in more importance.
Sure.
And then it did say that GenXers are having a fall off as
(28:45):
well.
And you know, I'm like what'sthe correlation?
Ask that of ChatGPT.
What's the correlation?
Why?
Why are people?
What are people citing?
And a lot of it had to do withwith what did they say?
(29:05):
Dismay with organized religion.
Some of the controversies thathave happened, you know, abuse
in the church and other criminalthings that have happened.
So as we get older, we get alittle bit more um, we don't
(29:25):
necessarily say we don't believethere's a more of an emphasis
on spirituality versus organizedreligion organized religion.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I think there.
So, um, I haven't looked at thestatistics on this for a while,
but I remember hearing um, sowe don't, we don't go to church
anymore.
Um doesn't mean that we're notreligious, doesn't mean that we
(30:01):
don't believe.
You know all of that.
We just, like around covet time, we just kind of petered off
and and and just didn't go backum, but I remember there being a
lot of conversation around um,church membership is going down
and fewer and fewer people aregoing to church, et cetera.
(30:21):
So, um, it has been interestingto watch this fluctuate um,
because these youngergenerations are kind of coming
back to it and they are wantingto be members of a church.
Um, which is great, that'sgreat.
Um, which is great, that'sgreat.
(30:42):
And I think and you're right,amy.
So you know, as we age, we getjaded by things and, you know,
cynical about things and I don'twant to.
I don't want to be part of itanymore.
So I'm just not going to goanymore, but doesn't necessarily
mean that I'm no longer aChristian, right.
(31:04):
And I think, and I think that'swhat it's been for me.
I mean, I feel like, you know,I, I am a Christian.
I, every single day, I'm sayinga prayer, I'm talking.
You know, I'm talking every day, every day.
I said that to Bill one time,he goes.
(31:25):
Really, I say prayers everysingle night before I go to bed.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yes, I do too, and one is the one that I learned
when I was four years old orwhatever.
It's still the.
It's like the opening to myconversation.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
But same growing up for me.
I mean, we went to church everySunday.
I was in youth group, I was inchoir, I was in the bell choir,
we did plays and that friendgroup that I developed there,
those were.
You know, we all went to middleschool and high school together
and we're still friends today.
(32:07):
That's huge.
So it is kind of sad if peoplearen't getting that.
But I am encouraged by the factthat the numbers kind of seem
to be turning around a littlebit and the millennials and Gen
Z, they're kind of going back tochurch.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
You mentioned COVID, and that was something that you
know.
Covid shut a lot of things down, but it also made it.
Churches made the transition,like so many did, to online.
Yes, so there has beenobviously the increase in online
services and now it's possibleto watch services from all over
the world.
Not just you know your churchin your town, so, um.
(32:54):
But so, although you can getyour your fix of religion, um,
you know church that way, itdoesn't make up for the
community, which is what we'retalking about.
So, so it is a little harderfor us and I'm sure it's harder
for younger, I mean foreverybody, to find these places
(33:16):
of mutual, mutual interest,mutual commitment to something,
um, maybe a level playing field.
So we are going to.
We do have to work harder, wedo have to actually make an
effort.
Yep, yeah, I, you know.
(33:41):
When you said the about yourmom and you and your brother in
church and I mentioned, you know, did you sit in the wrong pew?
Oh, yeah, your families allhave the same seat that you sat
in every single time.
Yeah, we did too, and so thenyou knew those families that sat
around you as well.
I mean, you knew everybodypretty much, but you really knew
(34:01):
those families.
Let's make a note of thatmental note for one of our
upcoming episodes where we talkabout habits, superstitions.
That's one of them.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That is one.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
You have to sit in the same spot in church.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, and then what?
You know what happens?
Someday you walk in and there'ssomebody sitting in your seat.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Somebody else there?
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Yeah, Slide over people.
What's with this guy?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
He's a bouncer.
Yeah, over people.
What's with this?
Speaker 4 (34:31):
guy yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, you walk up to the pew and you'd look at him
with this face Like what are youdoing in our, in our seat?
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Yeah, yeah, by the way, the our church seat is on
the opposite aisle that I alwayslook for the airplane seats, so
it's not I don't always have tobe on the right.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
There you go.
We're going to gonna go aheadand dive into the quirks.
Yeah, it is.
It probably is a little quirkythe things that we do over and
over and over.
We're gonna call them habits,that they may be in their quirks
oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
so this month we are going to um join some sort of
organized event, is that is?
Speaker 2 (35:18):
that a big enough umbrella?
Yep, that'll be a challenge.
Yes, do something as a groupwith a group.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Yeah, um, stacey, didn't.
I see that there's some sort ofjewel gala going on for all the
shops in jewel.
Yes, that is like.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
You should go.
Yes, I know I keep seeing thatevery year and it's like gosh,
why don't I do that?
And then it's the next year andit's huh, I wonder why I don't
do that.
Yeah, they have a gala.
It's like a fundraiser, youknow.
They get all fancy dressed upand yeah, that would be fun.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
It would be fun, yeah yep, if I didn't work on the
weekends, I'd come down and goto the gala with you and we
could go.
I know I could.
We could have the same picturein the dresses we wore to
various weddings, right whichwould be about what it is, yep I
have a navy blue dress.
(36:16):
I have a black dress yeah, Iknow so.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yep, those are good ideas.
We'll have to have to figuresomething out yeah all right,
we're making headway on thefriendship front we are and a
review.
This will be month three, so wewill see how it goes.
Like I said, we're in it forthe long haul.
(36:41):
We want to, you know, take stepby step and then see what our
progress is over an entire year,how we, you know, made
connections, hopefully made newfriends and shared with
everybody else.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yeah, we're gonna have good stories.
Yes, we will yep, I agree.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Well, I think this can well.
First does anyone first?
Does anyone have a shot?
Does anyone have a shot today?
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I do oh, hey, I do, and it comes along with a little
related story, so I chose tohold this little part of the
story back until I could sharemy shot.
Okay, so I have a customer whooh, it's Deanna, and you guys
(37:37):
know her.
She was a guest on our show.
Of course, okay, deanna alwayshas the most beautiful nails,
and I know this because shedoesn't live here, she's across
the country, but she postsphotos in our group.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
And she does this, she always does this?
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yes, exactly, she's always showing her jewelry and
she's always doing this becauseshe's showing her rings and her
bracelet.
And so even Bill has commented.
He's like Deanna's nails are sopretty.
So I asked her.
I said do you go to the salon?
What do you do?
Like, deanna's nails are sopretty, like what?
So I asked her.
I said what do you go to thesalon?
(38:15):
What do you do?
She said no, I use a press onnail and it's called Red Aspen
and I've used it for three yearsand I use nothing but that.
Like I would like to, I'd liketo give that a try.
So, cause I've been getting thedip nails and I, you know I
(38:36):
love the way that they look.
I don't like paying for them.
Um, okay, so I start doingresearch on this brand Red Aspen
and I find that there'sconsultants who lives right on
the border of Chanhassen andEden Prairie.
So I sent her a message throughher website or Facebook or
(38:57):
something, and I just said hey,I've heard a lot about these
nails.
I'm interested in giving this atry.
It looks like you and I areclose together.
Could we meet?
So she and I went and met forcoffee and she brought nails and
that's what I'm wearing now.
Put it up to the camera, let'ssee.
Okay, the lighting is going tobe hard here.
(39:19):
There we go.
Oh those look really nice, I'vegot a French manicure on today
and I'm loving the product.
I'm loving it.
So a fraction of the cost,right?
So these range between like $14and $16 for a set and you know
they'll stay on for a couple ofweeks, two weeks ish.
(39:42):
Um, they have all differentcolors and patterns and lengths
Um, these are short.
And patterns and lengths theseare short.
The first ones that I had on, Iput them on right before St
Patrick's Day.
It was a really cool sort of achrome green, gorgeous, but they
were long, much longer than Iam used to wearing.
(40:03):
So two bonuses on this One, I'mloving the product.
Um, and I'm going to do thisfor a while.
It's kind of get my, myfingernails back to a healthier
state, and also, I don't want tospend 50 bucks going and
getting my nails done.
Um, okay, that, and she'slovely.
(40:25):
Um, we had a great conversation.
I love that.
She's super close.
And so now we you know we wetext each other when we change
our nails.
We text each other and we will,we will get together again, oh,
nice very cool, yeah, nice.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
So how do you take them off?
Yeah, how.
And they really stay on for twoweeks.
Anytime I've done press onnails, they fall off in two days
.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Oh, I mean, I've had, you know, like today, my thumb
popped off, but I just glued itright back on, and so, you know,
depends on how much you'redoing with your hands and what
was the other question?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Oh, how do you?
Speaker 3 (41:11):
get it off.
So the cuticle oil.
So you just have a littlebottle of cuticle oil, so you
just dab that around, just kindof let that soak for a little
bit.
And then I've got this littletool that almost looks like
those little teeth flossers,little handle, and so you just
kind of put that down right hereand then just kind of rock it a
(41:33):
little bit and it just kind ofpops the nail off.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, and so super easy to geton.
Actually, here's the littletube of glue.
The lighting is hard here.
Yeah, light, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
The lighting is hard here.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Yeah, light, yeah, it's like a typical, typical
nail to do Yep, exactly.
So I just put a little drop onthe nail, flip it over, press it
down, rock it back and forth alittle bit and yeah, yep, yeah,
I'll report back.
Once I've had longer wear withthem, I'll report back.
(42:16):
Um, once I've had longer wearwith them, I'll report back.
But again, I mean deanna, she'sbeen using them for two or
three years and she's like it's,it's all I use, it's all I wear
nice.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
So, yeah, very nice, and the name of it again was red
aspen, red aspen and there areothers too, and I see them.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
I see them all over my social channels.
Now, olive in june was one ofthe first ones that came out and
that you can get at target, butthere's curve, curve life, and
glamnetic makes nails now too,not just eyelashes, um.
So there are quite a few, and Ithink they just they're getting
better and better, um so, um, Ithink it's I, I, I like that.
(43:00):
I like that because I, I didthem originally, years ago too,
like way back.
I remember way back when Iworked at capsule, I used the
kiss brand that you'd find atTarget and I loved the way they
looked, but I just couldn't keepthem on, keep them on.
So, I think the product isgetting better because, again,
you know, sometimes people justthey're just like I.
(43:22):
I mean it's a time commitmentto go to the salon as well.
I'm not saying that I won'tever do it again because I love.
I mean I love, loved my dipnails, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Cool, yeah, good to try.
Yeah, how about you, amy?
Do you have a shot?
Speaker 4 (43:47):
Other than I started the new Netflix series the
Residence.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Oh, did you start?
That is it new.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
It is not the resident by shonda rhimes.
It's kind of a white housedetective who done it?
White House detective whodunit.
It's a little quirky, a littleodd, but I've watched.
I think I've watched fourepisodes, okay, maybe more than
(44:21):
that.
It's only eight episodes.
I think I'm on number six, so Ithink it's worth watching.
I know it's different thananything else that's out there,
so it is a whodunit.
I don't know who did it thusfar.
There you go.
The characters are kind offunny, so give it a try.
Give it a try.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
What the heck I'm still working my way through the
oscar, way through the Oscar.
Oh yeah, I would did watch aNora.
That was interesting.
Okay, I still have to watch it.
Yeah, I'm not, I won't sayanything about it.
Um, today when I got home fromwork I watched.
(45:04):
Oh gosh, what's a real pain.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
Oh, did you like it?
No, not a fan.
See, it makes me look like Iwas a good travel companion,
doesn't it?
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yes, it does, because that was something I guess it
just wasn't, you know, and ofcourse it just wasn't very
exciting.
You know what I mean?
I'm evidently more of an actionand a thriller, and anything
other than that kind of movie Idon't even see.
(45:39):
And that movie I don't thinkwas nominated, was it?
Was that nominated?
The movie itself was not, butyou know, lost it, kieran culkin
, one best supporting actor, Iwouldn't even say it was
(46:02):
anything unusual.
You know what I mean?
It was okay, it was just okay.
It was not stellar.
So yeah, there's my review ofthat.
Anyway, someday we really aregoing to have a you know post
oscars after we, yes, we are allthe movies in a couple weeks.
Yes, we're going to have anotherdiscussion, so that's gonna.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
We'll put that on hold based on ann's uh ann's
recommendations and synopsis.
Yes, try some.
I'm going to try some more.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, yep, if anybody liked White Lotus, the new
season of White Lotus is out.
I don't have that.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Is that on?
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Hulu.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Is it.
Hulu.
It's on one of the ones I don'thave.
I think it is Hulu, I thinkit's Hulu, or is it Apple TV, I
don't know.
One or the other, yeah, anyway,okay, well, if we have nothing
else.
This concludes this episode ofThree Cocktails In Cheers, my
(47:04):
friends, cheers.
We'll see you all next week.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
Woo-hoo, have a good week, all of us in pink Pink.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Pink Bye.
Turn it up loud.
I know you're wondering how Igot that wild.
Here I go.
Here I go, coming.
I can't ever stop.
I'ma tour the forest running.
Get me to the top.
I don't need an invitation.
I'm about to start acelebration.
Let me in Brought a good timefor some friends.
Turn it up loud.
Past ten.
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, hello, good evening, good evening.
How is everyone?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm good, everybody's good.
Well, I hope everyone listeningor watching also good Cause
(00:49):
this is three cocktails in withAmy, kitty and Stacy.
We're here every week.
Did you know that we're hereevery week with the new episode?
Pretty amazing, we've gone thislong.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Yeah, it is the only thing that has remained
consistent that I have committedto.
You know, if I would havedesignated one night a week to
work out and bend this religious, I would probably weigh less
than I do.
Yeah, right, even one night aweek yeah, that's right oh well,
(01:23):
this is more fun than that.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, a lot more, yes, and it's mentally healthy yes
yes, it is a win-win I know weget to see each other every week
talk about crazy stuffwhatever's on their mind at the
time, right yeah, um, I have acrazy story to share.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I do so.
I don't know if I've talkedabout this um or not before, but
I, yes, I live in a condo but,um, my next door neighbor likes
to smoke a little bit smoke alittle weed a little bit, likes
(02:10):
to smoke a little bit smoke alittle weed a little bit.
And I went, I went off last.
I actually went and looked itup.
Last November I complained tomanagement.
I'm like I am tired of my placesounded smelling like an
ashtray.
I'm ticked off.
It was that in between stage,when it wasn't cold enough to
have the air conditioning on, itwasn't hot enough to have the
air conditioning on, it wasn'thot enough to have the heat on,
so I didn't have any.
I didn't have anything blowing.
So, you know, sense, just memeandered in, you know whatever,
(02:34):
and I didn't really blow themout.
Um, two nights ago at 1130 atnight, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,
I got a knock on my door.
I was out, I was asleep, youknow.
So I throw my robe on and Ikind of go and look like am I
hearing things or what.
It was my neighbor.
He was like come, I go, hello.
(02:55):
You know, I'm kind of out of it.
And he goes, come to the door.
I'm like, um, hello, yes, Ididn't open the door.
I'm like, no way, yeah, quitcalling the office and telling
him I'm smoking.
I get fined every time you dothat.
I just got home.
For god's sake, I haven't evenbeen home tonight.
I'm like I didn't call, Ididn't call on you.
(03:18):
Oh, come on.
He says I'm like, no, I didn'tcall.
Well, and then he went to his,went to his room.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Yeah, wow, great, I know so at least you know you're
not the only one complainingabout it.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I know, you know I didn't do anything about it, but
when I came home from work thenext day I knocked on his door
because I just wanted to set therecord straight and say hey, I
just, I just want to point out Ihaven't complained since
november.
So if you're getting fines,there are a lot of other people
that must be must be getting thesame smell.
Yeah, and it has it.
(03:59):
I actually haven't complainedin a long time because it's far
and few between and it doesn'tpermeate the whole, my whole
condo.
It's just kind of a little bitin my bedroom and, as I kind of
have joked before, I am only inmy bedroom when I go to sleep.
So it might be a sleep aid thatI'm getting secondhand, you
know sort of thing, but, um,that that was a little fine.
(04:21):
How do you do?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, so was was.
So.
Was he home then?
When you knocked on his door,no, he didn't answer oh, I don't
know if he was home or not.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, so I thought about sliding a note under the
door, but at this point I justkind of feel like letting it go.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but, yeah, but that's interesting
that he would think it's you andcome at you.
I know, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Probably not good.
So is he getting a fine becausesomebody's complaining or is he
not supposed to be smokingbecause he owns the unit?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
No, he's a renter, but it doesn't matter if you
rent or own.
No, he's a renter, but itdoesn't matter if you rent or
own.
You can't smoke indoors unlessyou've been here since before
that law went into effect.
So that unit's not, that's not,grandfathered in, and even if
the unit is and it's a rental,that doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
If it's a rental unit , um, there is no interest.
Well, welcome to city livingpeople.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, maybe he'll get kicked out four years, almost
four years I've been down hereand that's the, you know, other
than the first weekend when theguy across the hall decided he
didn't like me, and he's nevertalked to me since, no other
than that I'm a good neighbor.
Evidently, this was that.
(05:53):
Is it the same guy across thestreet or across the hall?
For me, no, two ones.
One's right next door.
So, um, my bedroom wall sharesa wall with I don't know what
how their layout is.
The other one's right doorwayto doorway across the hall.
Yeah, so Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
So, you're not really making any friends right In
your apartment, nope, and I wasout of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I was going to say that's our topic for tonight
we're going to.
This is month.
We're starting month three ofour making friends, our
friendship plan.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Month one was stepping out of your comfort
zone, deciding what you want outof new friendships, how you can
look for new friends in yourcommunity.
Last month, step two was allabout, you know, taking some
action, saying yes to socialinvitations, getting out of your
(06:59):
comfort zone again, maybefrequenting a local spot like a
coffee shop or a bar or a gym orsomething also suggested, maybe
engaging with co-workers.
So first, before we start stepthree, we should kind of review
what we did in the last month.
(07:21):
Okay, does anybody haveanything?
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I can go.
So a couple of things.
There's a woman here in townthat I've known for years and
we'll see each other every oncein a while, and every time we
see each other we always say, oh, we should, we should go have a
(07:49):
drink, or we should meet forcoffee or whatever.
Um, and so we actually made ithappen.
Um, I asked again and thetiming worked out.
So, um, she and I met at fouro'clock on Monday up at
Heartbreakers.
Um, I thought it was just goingto be one glass of wine.
(08:10):
Um, I am a little embarrassedto say that I don't know.
It was probably around.
Let's see, it was probablyaround 730.
Bill had to come and pick me up.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
I love this for you, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Right, we had a good time.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
We chatted and chatted and chatted and chatted
and um yeah, so I was not ableto drive home and it made
Tuesday a little less productivethan I wish it had been.
But uh, it was.
It was fun and so I see usgetting together again so that
(08:54):
was one thing that I did yeah,did you schedule it?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I have a feeling you know it well at for me, if it's
not like a schedule or a hey,we're going to do this again in
a month or two weeks, orwhatever it'll be.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
You know all of a sudden, you'll find it yeah,
yeah, months.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Easier to go by the To go by the wayside.
So she and her husband areleaving.
They're leaving on a road tripfor the whole month of April.
So we said, all right, when youguys get back let's the four of
us go.
And you know, specificallycalled out a couple of
restaurants.
They live in Victoria.
So you know, let's go hitWinchester and Rye or let's go
(09:39):
hit the Noble Lion when you guysget back.
So that's the action.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
That's as far as we could take it yeah, yeah, good,
that's also really perfecttiming, because now you can say
I, we want to hear all aboutyour trip.
Yeah, tell us all about yourtrip.
So I think sometimes that'swhat the fear is what are we
going to talk about?
Yeah, you, you know, especiallyif you're now going to bring
your, your husbands or partnersin, are they going to like them?
(10:07):
You know it's, it's, it's a bigdeal for you, for us and
somebody new, but now we'reintroducing, you know, our
partners into it.
That's the perfect situationwhere you will have topic of
conversation to at least get youstarted and somewhere to go,
yeah, yeah, exciting topic ofconversation to at least get you
started and somewhere to go.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, yeah, exciting.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Good job, gold star, thank you gold star you probably
wasn't all that happy with me,but that's another story oh,
he'll get over it, it'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, I mentioned a couple of things I was going to
work on.
One.
Was you remember I said weinvited a couple to go on
vacation with us that we hadn'tdone much with for a while Went
on vacation to Mexico.
It was fabulous, we had a greattime.
So that was fun, kind ofreconnecting, and you know
(11:07):
getting back.
Yeah, yeah, so that was fun.
Um, the other one was I wasgoing to you said hey, you
should go hang out at Juniperand Olive, which is our little
cocktail bar real close to here.
I did that once.
There was literally no one, noone, no one there, you know, to
(11:30):
really connect with.
You know what I mean, madisonand I went.
So it wasn't that it was the twoof us and there was no.
You know, it didn't look likewe would, you know, talk to
anyone else.
There were just about threeother tables and they were big
groups.
There was one group of likefour different couples and they
(11:51):
were obviously there just totalk to each other and a family
at a table.
They were obviously just thereand no one other than the two of
us sitting at the bar.
So that you, that's that's athing, you know it.
It'll have to be a time whenthere's people it's busier
people sitting at the barlooking for, you know,
(12:14):
conversation type of thing.
So, yeah, that'll take me,that'll take me a while.
Can't go there just all thetime.
It's only open on weekends andonly even some weekends.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
So there you go.
But also it wasn't wastedbecause it's good practice.
Oh, yeah, it's good practiceand the next time you go easier.
And then also a note in yourhead that like, if I want to
talk to somebody, I need to beat the bar.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, because, oh absolutely, tables were not open
for business right, that'sexactly it and that, and I knew
that that's where we sat.
Yeah, um, and I've known thatthere's been times when I've
been there when the bars, whenthe bar, you know, seating is
packed and there's a hundredpeople, you know a bunch of
people to talk to.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's just a bummer of a day yeah, do you know the
people that own that own?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
the place yeah she wasn't there oh, yeah, oh yeah,
you're off well I know she does,you know, you know, so she
wasn't there.
There, the couple of bartendersthat were were busy, you know,
(13:27):
because there was only then two,you know, without her and
usually there's even more thanthat.
So they were busy.
So, yeah, no, it was fun.
Anyway, madison and I alwayshave a good time, but yeah, it
was kind of a bummer that therewas no one there to chat up.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I'll have to try it again and I will.
Good yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Okay, how about you, Amy?
Speaker 4 (13:53):
I went to my favorite little local bar by myself one
night because it was on the wayhome and it was a nice enough
night to walk on the way homeand it was a nice enough night
to walk.
I sat right down kind of infront of the two TVs where I
like to sit at the bar and youknow there's single person, two
seats, single guy, two seats.
So I was going to end upsitting by somebody anyway.
(14:14):
And I'm almost done with mymeal and a man comes and sits
down next to me because it hadgotten a little bit bigger and
he was debating about he was new, similar of age, debating about
dessert and I had just finishedtheir apple crisp.
I must have been celebrating asale, because that's usually
(14:34):
when I go down and you know, getmyself a glass of wine, a
little bit of dinner and ofcourse we struck up a
conversation and I met Daniel,who was in for business and his
son is just going to go toHarvard next year, and had just
a nice conversation with him andgot up to leave and he's like
thank you so much, it's so niceto have met you.
Oh nice.
(14:55):
It's kind of fun.
So I think that, like we'vetalked about before, when you're
traveling, for some reason it'seasier to just strike up
conversations with people.
Yeah, yeah, and he, I watchedfor the cues and he was, you
know, not quite sure about thewhole restaurant and you know I
was at Red Cow and I kind of youknow he goes.
(15:15):
So what do you think aboutthese three desserts?
I'm like, mmm, not this one,this, these two are really good.
So he was asking in mywheelhouse.
The other thing I'm actuallygoing to do Friday night is I'm
going to a work retirement party, oh, with somebody that works
on the construction side ofthings that I've talked to a few
(15:38):
times in the past two years.
I don't really run into him allthat often, but he's been a
mainstay at the company sinceyou know he was probably like
the third hire.
Uh, so it's at Mystic Lake, soI probably will just drive over
there after work and pop in andsay hey and talk to my, talk to
(15:59):
my coworkers a little bit andhead home.
Yeah, okay, yeah, I'm notreally a casino person and you
know they'll all have couplesaround and I'll be the singleton
again, and so yeah, but stillopportunity to see people.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Maybe you don't very often network right with here,
right you know?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
yeah and try and have a little.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Be there, yeah, be there but, there are people that
I have phone conversations withbut I never have in-person
conversations with, so I'mprobably gonna have to do a
little Google search to makesure I can put faces and names
together.
I kind of think maybe I shouldsuggest that on everybody's
(16:48):
signature line they have a photoof themselves, so when we're
emailing each other back andforth we can at least have a
face, because you know, you,your first week that you're
there in training, you meeteverybody and then you're gone
and you don't know anythingabout the company to put any
links together, to remember thefaces and the names and what
(17:10):
they do.
And so now you know, months andmonths later, I have, you know,
probably called two people thewrong name.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
So, yeah, yeah, that's a good one so we all did
something.
Yeah, we did, we did.
I think part of the moral ofthe story is it takes a while
(17:40):
and it's not easy and it takessome work.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
You know, takes a plan, yeah, and then you have to
do it.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
You actually have to do it, yeah.
And then you have to do it.
You actually have to do it,yeah, yep.
And once isn't enough.
Oh, right, right, you have tokeep consistency, right?
I feel like I hear that wordevery time I turn around.
And it's so true, it's, it's,it can be the secret sauce to so
many things.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right, Yep, so month three.
Here's what it suggests formonth three Explore group
activities.
So it suggests join a recurringsocial club like a book club or
a sports team or a languagegroup.
I don't know what a languagegroup is sports team or a
language group?
I don't know what a languagegroup is.
(18:24):
What is a language group?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
well, if, like, if you wanted to go take classes on
how to speak spanish, let'sspeak something else.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
All right, uh, volunteer for a community event
or charity, attend a groupfitness class like low yoga,
cycling, martial arts, and thelast one host a small gathering
at home to practice your socialhosting skills.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
There you go I think we're all pretty good at the
social hosting skills.
Yes, yeah, I think that, um, wehave a pretty good success rate
with the book club, becausethis podcast started from book
club and long ranging funds, butyou know, some of those other
(19:11):
things that we got to go try anddo event or charity would put
you with people with your sameinterest.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I think finding you know other people that you know
in your community that areactive in doing different things
.
I can see that as putting youclose together with other people
you know within your communitypretty quickly.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
And it also gets back to the idea that you don't have
something new to talk about.
You have a subject right there.
So you already have aconnection point that you can
build on.
And if they're in yourcommunity, you probably have,
you probably are going torecognize them at a minimum, or
(20:06):
some people, so whether it's aneighbor or you know, your bank
teller or grocery clerk orsomething like that.
So that's a nice, that is anice way in.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, it's an interesting one.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yep, I went to the so I go to the post office every
Monday morning with my packagesand last week I walked in and
there was another woman who wasbringing some things in and we
looked at each other and I justfelt like I know this person.
She looks really familiar, I'veseen her somewhere and we both
(20:51):
kind of you know when you'reboth trying to figure it out.
And I said I feel like I knowyou and we, we kind of you know,
said, oh well, you know, areyour kids so well, you know Bo's
much older than her kids are.
So it wasn't that and we triedto compare a few things.
We couldn't come up with it.
(21:12):
But that was an interestingexchange because it didn't
produce anything Right, it wasshort enough that it was just
going to be oh well okay, have agood day, you know, but I don't
know.
Clearly, I've seen her somewhereand I I might see her again,
and so now, the next time I dosee her, we're going to do it
(21:35):
again.
We're going to be like allright, we're going to the same
places here, maybe.
Maybe we should know each other.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yeah.
And then you can say Idefinitely know, I've seen you
before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I'm the post office answer.
I'm your post office pal, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
But I mean I easily could have just walked away, I
easily could have just said ohyeah, wow, that lady looks
familiar.
I don't know who it is.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
I had somebody come in during Parade of Homes.
It's been Parade of Homes forthe last month and that means
Friday, saturday, sunday.
There are probably close to 400homes all around the metro area
that are open for anybody tocome and walk through.
You don't have to have arealtor.
A lot of people love to come inand just see what the new
design trends are, what are thecolors, what are the decorating.
So I've had a lot of traffic inthe last you know three weeks
(22:30):
and a couple came in and Ilooked at her.
I know, I know you, I know, Iknow you.
We did the same exact thing.
She wasn't.
You know when you, when you're,when you're doing that and
you're the salesperson with aname tag on, people don't really
want to jump in quite as deepfor fear that you're digging for
(22:53):
them, but you know it was kindof fun.
So, yes, I have seen peoplethat I, I know and I like it,
and also it's a little bit hard.
Kitty, you probably have thesame issue that I do.
Nobody knows us as blondes.
We've been in that area asbrunettes for super long time
(23:14):
and I changed my last name, somy name tag has a different last
name than what they might putit together with daughters and
stuff.
So just other things to workthrough than what they might,
you know, put it together withdaughters and stuff.
Yeah, you know just otherthings to to work through, but
it makes it interesting the moreyou do it.
You never know.
You'd never know what theconnection will be.
And if they're, you know, justas sassy and smart alecky as I
(23:41):
am, then that's a fun exchange.
Yeah, it's a micro connection.
Even if it's not a friend, it'sa micro connection.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yep, it's a connection, that's right.
Yeah, that is right.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So in that list of stuff I find it really
interesting Nobody that listdidn't mention church groups.
Yeah, I've been thinking aboutthat a lot lately, how that's
one of the, the things that Ithink parents or at least I
(24:15):
remember my parents being super,super involved in was church,
you know, and they're they, Iwould say the core of their
friends came from, or at leaststarted in church, and then they
found out, oh yeah, they liketo golf, they like to play cards
, they like to do all theseother things.
So I did a little dive, but I'mjust really interesting,
(24:38):
interested.
Have you noticed that in yourfriends, in your groups, in your
communities, that that thereisn't that organized religion?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
yeah, yes for sure, especially um, around us.
Being a small town, everybody,everybody that goes to church,
goes to Ames or Webster City.
They go to a bigger city, youknow, and go to church.
I mean, there, there are, thereare churches out, you know,
(25:13):
there are churches in Jewel,there's some others close, but a
lot of people do go to thesedifferent churches and it seems
to be that there are very Idon't know even what to call
them the new type of christianchurch, not necessarily a
denomination, but they're, yeah,they seem to be getting bigger
(25:38):
and the you know, denominationalchurch seemed to be dwindling.
You know the, and I'm talkingabout the type of church that
has daycare for kids.
You know a coffee shop in theentryway.
You know the very music and Bigscreens.
(25:59):
Big screens, you know, thatseems to draw um, you know
younger people, I'll admit ityou know, younger people with
families, whereas theold-fashioned lutheran church
like my mom goes to, forinstance, there's no one, hardly
anyone there.
You know what I mean?
(26:20):
Oh, I have a funny story.
How about this?
So a couple weeks ago went homeand, um, you know, went to
church with my mom and mybrother now my mother was very
active in church.
You know she had to be thegreeter of, of course, because
(26:41):
she's always doing something.
So she went early and then mybrother and I went, you know, 20
minutes later and we walk inand sit down in a pew and she
gets her greeting done and walksin and then doesn't sit by us.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Oh, Because you didn't sit in her pew.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Probably not, I don't know, and we just looked at
each other like whatever, Idon't know.
I don't know if she forgot inthat 20 minutes that we were
there.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I have no idea but it was.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
We looked at each other like wow, whatever, anyway
.
But I just but it was just anoticing that the people that
were there were the same people.
I remember going to church as akid.
I mean, you know, they're allin their you know 70s and 80s
and there were no families.
Families, no kids.
(27:40):
You know what I mean?
I just think that's lost theappeal to you know, families as
part of a community.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
So I called on the chat, the chat GPT and asked for
a comparison to 1980s.
You know the church, churchgoers breakdown by denominations
, by regionality, trying youknow just general demographics
and they found something like42% of Gen Z and millennials are
(28:20):
are less religious than youknow older they did.
There was a statistic that didsay as people get married and
have kids they come back to thechurch.
It shows up in more importance.
Sure.
And then it did say that GenXers are having a fall off as
(28:45):
well.
And you know, I'm like what'sthe correlation?
Ask that of ChatGPT.
What's the correlation?
Why?
Why are people?
What are people citing?
And a lot of it had to do withwith what did they say?
(29:05):
Dismay with organized religion.
Some of the controversies thathave happened, you know, abuse
in the church and other criminalthings that have happened.
So as we get older, we get alittle bit more um, we don't
(29:25):
necessarily say we don't believethere's a more of an emphasis
on spirituality versus organizedreligion organized religion.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I think there.
So, um, I haven't looked at thestatistics on this for a while,
but I remember hearing um, sowe don't, we don't go to church
anymore.
Um doesn't mean that we're notreligious, doesn't mean that we
(30:01):
don't believe.
You know all of that.
We just, like around covet time, we just kind of petered off
and and and just didn't go backum, but I remember there being a
lot of conversation around um,church membership is going down
and fewer and fewer people aregoing to church, et cetera.
(30:21):
So, um, it has been interestingto watch this fluctuate um,
because these youngergenerations are kind of coming
back to it and they are wantingto be members of a church.
Um, which is great, that'sgreat.
Um, which is great, that'sgreat.
(30:42):
And I think and you're right,amy.
So you know, as we age, we getjaded by things and, you know,
cynical about things and I don'twant to.
I don't want to be part of itanymore.
So I'm just not going to goanymore, but doesn't necessarily
mean that I'm no longer aChristian, right.
(31:04):
And I think, and I think that'swhat it's been for me.
I mean, I feel like, you know,I, I am a Christian.
I, every single day, I'm sayinga prayer, I'm talking.
You know, I'm talking every day, every day.
I said that to Bill one time,he goes.
(31:25):
Really, I say prayers everysingle night before I go to bed.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yes, I do too, and one is the one that I learned
when I was four years old orwhatever.
It's still the.
It's like the opening to myconversation.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
But same growing up for me.
I mean, we went to church everySunday.
I was in youth group, I was inchoir, I was in the bell choir,
we did plays and that friendgroup that I developed there,
those were.
You know, we all went to middleschool and high school together
and we're still friends today.
(32:07):
That's huge.
So it is kind of sad if peoplearen't getting that.
But I am encouraged by the factthat the numbers kind of seem
to be turning around a littlebit and the millennials and Gen
Z, they're kind of going back tochurch.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
You mentioned COVID, and that was something that you
know.
Covid shut a lot of things down, but it also made it.
Churches made the transition,like so many did, to online.
Yes, so there has beenobviously the increase in online
services and now it's possibleto watch services from all over
the world.
Not just you know your churchin your town, so, um.
(32:54):
But so, although you can getyour your fix of religion, um,
you know church that way, itdoesn't make up for the
community, which is what we'retalking about.
So, so it is a little harderfor us and I'm sure it's harder
for younger, I mean foreverybody, to find these places
(33:16):
of mutual, mutual interest,mutual commitment to something,
um, maybe a level playing field.
So we are going to.
We do have to work harder, wedo have to actually make an
effort.
Yep, yeah, I, you know.
(33:41):
When you said the about yourmom and you and your brother in
church and I mentioned, you know, did you sit in the wrong pew?
Oh, yeah, your families allhave the same seat that you sat
in every single time.
Yeah, we did too, and so thenyou knew those families that sat
around you as well.
I mean, you knew everybodypretty much, but you really knew
(34:01):
those families.
Let's make a note of thatmental note for one of our
upcoming episodes where we talkabout habits, superstitions.
That's one of them.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That is one.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
You have to sit in the same spot in church.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, and then what?
You know what happens?
Someday you walk in and there'ssomebody sitting in your seat.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Somebody else there?
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Yeah, Slide over people.
What's with this guy?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
He's a bouncer.
Yeah, over people.
What's with this?
Speaker 4 (34:31):
guy yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, you walk up to the pew and you'd look at him
with this face Like what are youdoing in our, in our seat?
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Yeah, yeah, by the way, the our church seat is on
the opposite aisle that I alwayslook for the airplane seats, so
it's not I don't always have tobe on the right.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
There you go.
We're going to gonna go aheadand dive into the quirks.
Yeah, it is.
It probably is a little quirkythe things that we do over and
over and over.
We're gonna call them habits,that they may be in their quirks
oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
so this month we are going to um join some sort of
organized event, is that is?
Speaker 2 (35:18):
that a big enough umbrella?
Yep, that'll be a challenge.
Yes, do something as a groupwith a group.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Yeah, um, stacey, didn't.
I see that there's some sort ofjewel gala going on for all the
shops in jewel.
Yes, that is like.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
You should go.
Yes, I know I keep seeing thatevery year and it's like gosh,
why don't I do that?
And then it's the next year andit's huh, I wonder why I don't
do that.
Yeah, they have a gala.
It's like a fundraiser, youknow.
They get all fancy dressed upand yeah, that would be fun.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
It would be fun, yeah yep, if I didn't work on the
weekends, I'd come down and goto the gala with you and we
could go.
I know I could.
We could have the same picturein the dresses we wore to
various weddings, right whichwould be about what it is, yep I
have a navy blue dress.
(36:16):
I have a black dress yeah, Iknow so.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yep, those are good ideas.
We'll have to have to figuresomething out yeah all right,
we're making headway on thefriendship front we are and a
review.
This will be month three, so wewill see how it goes.
Like I said, we're in it forthe long haul.
(36:41):
We want to, you know, take stepby step and then see what our
progress is over an entire year,how we, you know, made
connections, hopefully made newfriends and shared with
everybody else.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yeah, we're gonna have good stories.
Yes, we will yep, I agree.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Well, I think this can well.
First does anyone first?
Does anyone have a shot?
Does anyone have a shot today?
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I do oh, hey, I do, and it comes along with a little
related story, so I chose tohold this little part of the
story back until I could sharemy shot.
Okay, so I have a customer whooh, it's Deanna, and you guys
(37:37):
know her.
She was a guest on our show.
Of course, okay, deanna alwayshas the most beautiful nails,
and I know this because shedoesn't live here, she's across
the country, but she postsphotos in our group.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
And she does this, she always does this?
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yes, exactly, she's always showing her jewelry and
she's always doing this becauseshe's showing her rings and her
bracelet.
And so even Bill has commented.
He's like Deanna's nails are sopretty.
So I asked her.
I said do you go to the salon?
What do you do?
Like, deanna's nails are sopretty, like what?
So I asked her.
I said what do you go to thesalon?
(38:15):
What do you do?
She said no, I use a press onnail and it's called Red Aspen
and I've used it for three yearsand I use nothing but that.
Like I would like to, I'd liketo give that a try.
So, cause I've been getting thedip nails and I, you know I
(38:36):
love the way that they look.
I don't like paying for them.
Um, okay, so I start doingresearch on this brand Red Aspen
and I find that there'sconsultants who lives right on
the border of Chanhassen andEden Prairie.
So I sent her a message throughher website or Facebook or
(38:57):
something, and I just said hey,I've heard a lot about these
nails.
I'm interested in giving this atry.
It looks like you and I areclose together.
Could we meet?
So she and I went and met forcoffee and she brought nails and
that's what I'm wearing now.
Put it up to the camera, let'ssee.
Okay, the lighting is going tobe hard here.
(39:19):
There we go.
Oh those look really nice, I'vegot a French manicure on today
and I'm loving the product.
I'm loving it.
So a fraction of the cost,right?
So these range between like $14and $16 for a set and you know
they'll stay on for a couple ofweeks, two weeks ish.
(39:42):
Um, they have all differentcolors and patterns and lengths
Um, these are short.
And patterns and lengths theseare short.
The first ones that I had on, Iput them on right before St
Patrick's Day.
It was a really cool sort of achrome green, gorgeous, but they
were long, much longer than Iam used to wearing.
(40:03):
So two bonuses on this One, I'mloving the product.
Um, and I'm going to do thisfor a while.
It's kind of get my, myfingernails back to a healthier
state, and also, I don't want tospend 50 bucks going and
getting my nails done.
Um, okay, that, and she'slovely.
(40:25):
Um, we had a great conversation.
I love that.
She's super close.
And so now we you know we wetext each other when we change
our nails.
We text each other and we will,we will get together again, oh,
nice very cool, yeah, nice.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
So how do you take them off?
Yeah, how.
And they really stay on for twoweeks.
Anytime I've done press onnails, they fall off in two days
.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Oh, I mean, I've had, you know, like today, my thumb
popped off, but I just glued itright back on, and so, you know,
depends on how much you'redoing with your hands and what
was the other question?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Oh, how do you?
Speaker 3 (41:11):
get it off.
So the cuticle oil.
So you just have a littlebottle of cuticle oil, so you
just dab that around, just kindof let that soak for a little
bit.
And then I've got this littletool that almost looks like
those little teeth flossers,little handle, and so you just
kind of put that down right hereand then just kind of rock it a
(41:33):
little bit and it just kind ofpops the nail off.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, and so super easy to geton.
Actually, here's the littletube of glue.
The lighting is hard here.
Yeah, light, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
The lighting is hard here.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Yeah, light, yeah, it's like a typical, typical
nail to do Yep, exactly.
So I just put a little drop onthe nail, flip it over, press it
down, rock it back and forth alittle bit and yeah, yep, yeah,
I'll report back.
Once I've had longer wear withthem, I'll report back.
(42:16):
Um, once I've had longer wearwith them, I'll report back.
But again, I mean deanna, she'sbeen using them for two or
three years and she's like it's,it's all I use, it's all I wear
nice.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
So, yeah, very nice, and the name of it again was red
aspen, red aspen and there areothers too, and I see them.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
I see them all over my social channels.
Now, olive in june was one ofthe first ones that came out and
that you can get at target, butthere's curve, curve life, and
glamnetic makes nails now too,not just eyelashes, um.
So there are quite a few, and Ithink they just they're getting
better and better, um so, um, Ithink it's I, I, I like that.
(43:00):
I like that because I, I didthem originally, years ago too,
like way back.
I remember way back when Iworked at capsule, I used the
kiss brand that you'd find atTarget and I loved the way they
looked, but I just couldn't keepthem on, keep them on.
So, I think the product isgetting better because, again,
you know, sometimes people justthey're just like I.
(43:22):
I mean it's a time commitmentto go to the salon as well.
I'm not saying that I won'tever do it again because I love.
I mean I love, loved my dipnails, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Cool, yeah, good to try.
Yeah, how about you, amy?
Do you have a shot?
Speaker 4 (43:47):
Other than I started the new Netflix series the
Residence.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Oh, did you start?
That is it new.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
It is not the resident by shonda rhimes.
It's kind of a white housedetective who done it?
White House detective whodunit.
It's a little quirky, a littleodd, but I've watched.
I think I've watched fourepisodes, okay, maybe more than
(44:21):
that.
It's only eight episodes.
I think I'm on number six, so Ithink it's worth watching.
I know it's different thananything else that's out there,
so it is a whodunit.
I don't know who did it thusfar.
There you go.
The characters are kind offunny, so give it a try.
Give it a try.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
What the heck I'm still working my way through the
oscar, way through the Oscar.
Oh yeah, I would did watch aNora.
That was interesting.
Okay, I still have to watch it.
Yeah, I'm not, I won't sayanything about it.
Um, today when I got home fromwork I watched.
(45:04):
Oh gosh, what's a real pain.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
Oh, did you like it?
No, not a fan.
See, it makes me look like Iwas a good travel companion,
doesn't it?
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yes, it does, because that was something I guess it
just wasn't, you know, and ofcourse it just wasn't very
exciting.
You know what I mean?
I'm evidently more of an actionand a thriller, and anything
other than that kind of movie Idon't even see.
(45:39):
And that movie I don't thinkwas nominated, was it?
Was that nominated?
The movie itself was not, butyou know, lost it, kieran culkin
, one best supporting actor, Iwouldn't even say it was
(46:02):
anything unusual.
You know what I mean?
It was okay, it was just okay.
It was not stellar.
So yeah, there's my review ofthat.
Anyway, someday we really aregoing to have a you know post
oscars after we, yes, we are allthe movies in a couple weeks.
Yes, we're going to have anotherdiscussion, so that's gonna.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
We'll put that on hold based on ann's uh ann's
recommendations and synopsis.
Yes, try some.
I'm going to try some more.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, yep, if anybody liked White Lotus, the new
season of White Lotus is out.
I don't have that.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Is that on?
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Hulu.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Is it.
Hulu.
It's on one of the ones I don'thave.
I think it is Hulu, I thinkit's Hulu, or is it Apple TV, I
don't know.
One or the other, yeah, anyway,okay, well, if we have nothing
else.
This concludes this episode ofThree Cocktails In Cheers, my
(47:04):
friends, cheers.
We'll see you all next week.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
Woo-hoo, have a good week, all of us in pink Pink.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Pink Bye.
Turn it up loud.
I know you're wondering how Igot that wild.
Here I go.
Here I go, coming.
I can't ever stop.
I'ma tour the forest running.
Get me to the top.
I don't need an invitation.
I'm about to start acelebration.
Let me in Brought a good timefor some friends.
Turn it up loud.
Past ten.
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