30 Seconds Flat

30 Seconds Flat

Sneaky Movies. Geeky Hosts. Chris Cooling and Shawn Champagne discuss Heist movies!

Episodes

July 16, 2025 80 mins

A War film that is secretly a Heist film leads to a Heist podcast that is secretly a War podcast! Topics include: Josef Goebbels the rapper, real life heroes of the Dunkirk evacuation, "testosterone autism", and whether or not we can make our listeners cry...

Our theme song is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll - check them out at Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

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Pack yourself a crudely-made cucumber sandwich, a plate of meat, and five beers from Trinidad -- only then can you concentrate on your knowledge of Wagner while Robot Zombies try to bite you. The question is: "Are safes sexy?" Army of Thieves dares to answer: "Yes, if you're a German nerd..."

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check them out at Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Ins...

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... in which one of the hosts consumes an entire bottle of red wine and rants about Scientology to a degree that just might get the entire podcast taken off of the internet forever. (But the stunt work is excellent!)

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check them out at Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

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April 4, 2025 85 mins

The good news is that this is one of our best episodes, funny and smart and relaxed and cozy in equal measure. The bad news is that you will have to register as a sex offender after you listen to it, and warn all of your neighbors you're a fan of the show. (But there's no such thing as bad publicity!)

Also, this episode about a kids' movie is the one where Chris was too lazy to edit out the swearing -- go figure!

Our the...

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February 26, 2025 107 mins

Our first live stream episode! We present it here to you unedited so you can use it as an audio commentary track to accompany the movie, which may just be the greatest 3D Israeli-funded 1980s Heist film ever made...

Check out the movie here before it gets taken down:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV3re5wJvdI&t=290s

Topics include: pornography, the history of 3D movies, porn, North Korean cinema, and the surprising parallels betw...

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February 22, 2025 3 mins

A live watch-along treat! This Tuesday night, February, 25th, 2025, 8:00pm Eastern/7:00pm Central, Chris and Shawn will take on the INSANE 3D Heist film Treasure of the Four Crowns from 1983, a gem from the two crazy geniuses behind Cannon Pictures. Shawn has never seen it and we need to record his reactions -- and we want to hear yours too! Join us, won't you?


To watch the movie for free on YouTube, use this link:

https://ww...

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January 21, 2025 81 mins

We shrank ourselves down to tiny size and committed a series of heists, but now we are BACK to podcasting, baby! What better way to celebrate our return than with Ant-Man? Topics discussed include: young Shawn's healthy relationship with comic books, middle-aged Chris's film snobbery, the movie's many screenwriters, and the subtleties of a South African accent...


Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by S...

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November 6, 2024 74 mins

If you were patient enough to handle an extra-long wait for this episode, then you'll be patient enough to enjoy the extra-long movie we discuss in it! Two middle-aged men examine the parallels in their lives, pursue freedom, and consider the paths not taken, all under the guise of pulling off a simple Heist. This description refers to the movie, but kind of to Chris and Shawn as well? Listen and decide!

Our theme music is "The Bro...

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August 14, 2024 71 mins

Hey, a Podcast! Starring everybody -- and you? In this episode, Chris and Shawn resist the urge to indulge in childhood joy, and instead devote an hour to discussing this film as an allegory of the Holocaust. I wish I was joking...

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

Chris' radio show, Thursdays at 1:00pm CST:

https://www....

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July 18, 2024 83 mins

Robert Redford returns! Great writers are celebrated! Celebrities are impersonated! By the end of this episode, you'll be willing to travel to Russia and back to track down a copy of the movie...

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30 SecondPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

Chris' radio show, Thursdays at 1:00pm CST:

https://www.twitch.tv/thelife983fm

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June 12, 2024 67 mins

A wife is summoned! Will this be our most uxorious episode to date? (It's about prestidigitators, by the way.) Only a latter-day Columbo could solve this mystery...

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

Chris' radio show, Thursdays at 1:00pm CST:

https://www.twitch.tv/thelife983fm


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May 15, 2024 63 mins

Chris and Shawn slowly asphyxiate when they're tied up and locked in the studio by three Cockney thieves -- but will Chris get out one last dating story before ascending to Heaven? (Also the movie is really good.)

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Twitter/X: @30SecondsPod

Instagram: 30secondsflatpod

Chris' radio show, Thursdays at 1:00pm CST:

https://www.twitch.tv/thel...

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April 23, 2024 74 mins

Phil Collins starred in a movie!?! Now you know as much about "Buster" as Shawn did when he picked it for the show...

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Follow the show on X (formerly Twitter):

@30SecondsPod

Listen to Chris' new radio show, "Movies, Movie Music and Me", Thursdays at 1:00pm (Chicago time):

https://www.twitch.tv/thelife983fm

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March 14, 2024 76 mins

Poet and TV Show Runner Jennica Harper joins Chris and Shawn to talk about the movie, as well as a lot of other random stuff (since we all went to college together).

Jennica's newest book is "Bounce House":

https://www.anvilpress.com/books/bounce-house

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

Follow the show on Twitter (aka X): @30SecondsPod

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March 12, 2024 61 mins

Caine! MacLaine! Heists! Romantic Comedy! Plot twists! Jan Michael Vincent! (Trust us, it will make sense when you listen.)

Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io

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January 30, 2024 68 mins

Soccer and bank robbery share the field for this episode, but does the film score a winning goal? Or will it get a red card for faking too many shin injuries?


Our theme music is "The Brotherhood" by Soundroll -- check it out on Uppbeat.io!

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January 25, 2024 63 mins

A true early classic of the Heist genre! What better way to get into subtitled movies than by checking out a film without dialogue for thirty minutes?

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January 25, 2024 77 mins

One of the most notorious Heist films ever made -- but is it notoriously awful or actually kind of awesome?

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January 25, 2024 74 mins

Chris and Shawn gush over one of the best Heist movies ever made that somehow remains under-the-radar...

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January 25, 2024 59 mins

Chris and Shawn brainstorm their new Heist podcast and talk about why the genre matters to them.

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