September 7, 2025 • 34 mins
Zena responds to Ebrima’s proposal. Shorna and Adnan have another fight, but will they make up this time? Andy has some wonderful news for Arrah, and he returns to the Philippines once more. Phin invites Sandra on to his radio show, where he pops the question.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hi, Amy. Hi B.
Last night was Night a Day Fiance UK season 4 episode 11
Was it a happy episode for you? No.
I mean, Oh no. Yes, yes and no.
It had its moments, but I think overall it was how much of this
is contrived? It's irritating.
OK, somewhat reward. We have to.
(00:21):
Get into that. Yeah.
What did you think? Did we watch a different show
again? I think we did.
I really loved it. I was so happy with almost every
single couple, even if the situation that they were
encountering was a -1 it made mehappy to watch it.
OK. OK.
Well, that's a positive spin on things.
OK, maybe I just need to adjust my attitude.
(00:41):
Well, as you adjust. Let me remind everybody of the
one and two 121 rate review and follow us wherever you listen to
the podcast to watch our podcaston YouTube at 90 Day Fiance,
honestly. And now we may begin cat
starting with there is a cat full on in the the camera.
I can barely see you. I am not a cat.
(01:04):
Are you sure at? This point I don't know.
Sometimes I would like to be a cat.
Me too. Let's start with Xena and
Abraham. The answer to the question Will
you marry me? Is yes, but then she.
Follows the yes with like so many different concerns.
Oh yeah, I said yes, but I'm concerned about this, this, this
(01:25):
and this. I'm like, then why did you even
say yes? I don't know.
I don't know why she said yes. I was screaming at her to say
no, Zena, no. She wasn't listening to me
though. But I did enjoy the fact that
she starts delving into these difficult issues like where do
you want to live? What's next?
And of course, the first words out of his mouth are I want to
(01:48):
marry in the UK and I want to live in the UK.
Of course he does. Who knew?
Did anybody see that coming? You know, when she said yes, I
kind of like, cackled a bit and I was like, well, this is going
to blow up, so yeah. Good, good foresight, but it's
not really a surprise that she said yes and also that then she
(02:11):
has second thoughts about it because her family is adamant
that she is going down a bad path, that this man is scamming
her and we have all seen it for ourselves.
That is probably definitely mostlikely what is happening.
I love the way that he said he could have any job in the UK.
Yes. And that was the reason for
(02:32):
moving there. I was like, I don't think so.
So happy for him that he's that confident.
I'm not happy for him at all. Maybe he could get a job in
hospitality since he has experience in that field.
But the the idea that how peoplehave who are outside of the UK
or outside of the United States is so distorted that they will
move to that country and instantly get a fantastic job
(02:54):
that pays them bags of money. And they will just be in
essence, sitting on a pot of gold in no time at all.
But they'll be hoarding it because there's so much and all
you have to do is get a regular job.
It's not the case that. Is definitely not the case.
It would be one thing if they'relike universal healthcare, yay.
But just to think that you can go move to another country and
(03:17):
that's going to solve all your problems is just that is fallacy
that many people believe in. Yeah.
That's unfortunate. Anyway, Xena justifies wanting
to move to the UK by saying justbecause he wants to move to the
UK, that doesn't mean he doesn'tlove me, Xena, Right?
She's, she's really, really trying to talk herself into
(03:39):
this, isn't she? And then when she talks about
her family and how they have problems with this relationship
and she has to go back and talk to them about it in order to
help things along. I, I, I want to say to her,
Zena, this is your gut that's talking to you, that's telling
you red flag. Stay away.
This is wrong. Do not proceed.
(04:01):
The one that's been screaming atyou since even before you left.
Yes, yeah and he is so sneaky and slimy the way as soon as he
mentioned as soon as Zena mentions that her family is
going to have an issue with themgetting married, he backtracks
his and and the issue is stems from the fact that they think
that he's scamming her in order to get to the UK.
(04:22):
He says, well, I don't mind staying the Gambia That's that's
fine. I I can stay here.
We can live here no problem. So transparent there will be a.
Problem. Please, he will drop.
Her just as quickly as he can find a new one.
Yes, I believe that. And then the next day when she
starts voicing all of her concerns to him, you can see him
(04:43):
really trying to think of a way out of it and try to manipulate
her by, oh, but I love you and everything's going to be great.
I wanted her to say to him, look, Ibrahim, I will marry you.
But there's this thing called a prenup and, and in order to get
married, you have to sign it andit'll tell you that you cannot
(05:04):
have my house, you cannot have my money, you cannot have
anything that I have had previous to the marriage.
And I get to keep my money and you have to keep yours.
And things are separate. That would have been so smart.
And then you would have known right away from his reaction if
he was there for the right reasons or not.
Because clearly he would say, what is this prenup business?
(05:26):
What a bunch of nonsense. Our love is enough, forget about
that. If you want to marry me, it has
to be without. Yeah, and then it would be one
of those things, yell sign it, yell sign it, yell sign it.
And then the day of he doesn't sign it.
So do they get married or not? I don't think they're actually
going to make it to the wedding.How many episodes do we have
left? Because we're getting close to
(05:47):
the end, aren't we? I think it's one more and then a
reunion, so. I wonder if we're going to find
out at the reunion that they've already broken out.
Yeah, I'm not sure where I wouldput my money there, if I would
put it on them having already broken up or not yet.
I have a feeling that he's goingto string her along just to get
the benefits of the money that she was sending in, the gifts
that she was sending. And meanwhile, he'll continue to
(06:08):
try to reel in a new target, somebody who will actually fall
for the whole. I guess we'll just have to wait
and see. Yes, but I'm really relieved
that she's going back to the UK and her family can talk some
sense into her, I hope. Well, they couldn't talk some
sense into her previously, so I'm not confident that that's
going to be a thing. OK, I don't know what's going to
(06:29):
be the catalyst for their breakup, but there will be 1.
You heard it here. First predictions by Amy.
Shall we read on? Sure.
Let's go to Shorna and Adnan. Well, I am not surprised because
they had another blow up, another fight, another argument,
another let's go to her own separate corners to lick our
(06:50):
wounds moment she checked into adifferent hotel.
That proposal that she wanted isso far going swimmingly well.
All signs point to yes. Just ignore those red flags
Shorna. I'm sure everything will come
out in the wash. It'll be fine, do not worry.
I'm so happy for her that this is how things went.
This was this was quite lovely. And when she starts talking
(07:12):
about how she he was talking to the cab driver about hair
transplants, why, how did that come up?
And then instead of getting the number for the Doctor Who does
said hair transplants, she gets the cabbies phone number.
I can see why you might be suspicious of that.
I think she mentioned that therehad been somebody that they saw
who had obviously just had a hair transplant and that's how
(07:33):
they got onto that subject. So that seemed legit to me.
Yes. About the phone number, I get
that, but what if he didn't knowthe doctor's phone number or it
was too difficult for him to write down the name?
I don't know, I just. I don't care at this point, OK?
Enough. Well, I just wanted to remark
upon the fact that before we getto the scene where Adnan and
(07:54):
Shawna reunite, I found that their communication was
wonderful. I didn't see that there were
really any issues at all with the 20 year age gap between
them. The fact that he's 25 and he has
the emotional capacity of a teenager and she expects him to
be as advanced as she is. Although I'm not really sure
that she is all that mature in her own way.
(08:16):
She's not. And I absolutely adore the text
messages that they were exchanging, especially the one
where he said don't call me anymore.
I thought that was very grown upand mature.
So much more mature than the behavior that she is exhibited
so. They're both pathetic.
He. Gets a little bit of a leeway
because he's 25 and he's dealingwith the narcissistic,
(08:42):
manipulative fourty something year old.
Yes, I found the projection in this episode was laughable.
Yes, borderline painful, but I was too busy laughing for it to
be that big of a deal. But again, I don't know what is
what's up with her. But like, her eyes have been so
swollen, like, not just when shegoes to meet him, but even in
(09:04):
those, in those little interviews.
Yeah. I'm not.
I'm not sure what's up with her.I.
Think she she must be praying bycandlelight or staying up
really, really late reading the Book of Mormon and so this
causes her to get bags in the morning.
Maybe with the the the candle candle smoke in her eyes, Yes.
Yes, of course, of course. Well, in this episode, we saw a
(09:27):
wonderful example of the sunken cost fallacy.
Yet again. Shawna laments the fact that she
can't leave him because they've had two years together.
And so this would be silly to throw all that away after so
much time. But you guys have been apart.
Like, they haven't actually spent that much time together in
person during those two years because I think it had been
(09:49):
almost a year when she first went to Greece to meet up with
him after she'd changed her lifeand found religion.
Yeah. So wonderful.
Then when they do meet up, I wasextra super pleased that they
decided not to meet up in a neutral location like a cafe or
somewhere public because we could just let her RIP and
(10:11):
explode all the bombs at the same time.
Found the word that came up. The word.
The words that came out of her mouth were just so rich.
There was no consideration, no love, understanding, no
sympathy. For what?
Every time she said that no love, no consideration and I
think she said no respect a couple of times as well.
I was like, look at yourself my friend, look within.
(10:35):
You are doing and exhibiting andsaying everything that you are
complaining about him exhibitingand doing and saying.
Exactly. She's just she has no.
What is that word insight? No self reflection, no self.
Reflection. No integrity, nothing.
Everything is his fault, and yetshe's sure that she can solve
(10:55):
everything, though he said no, we're done.
And you know, in the the preview, she's like, I'm going
to try to get him back, blah, blah, blah.
And then as soon as he says absolutely no, then she tries to
flip the script. Well, I don't want to be with
you. Anyway.
Let's talk about emotional maturity here.
He's the user, He's the narcissist, He's the liar, he's
(11:18):
immature. OK, great.
Just leave. But instead of just leaving, she
pulls this this glass out of nowhere.
It looked like she pulled it from under the table.
I had to rewind it several timesand she throws it at him.
The violence, the aggression wasjust so disgusting.
He's so much better off without her.
(11:39):
Even though I'm sure the sex wasgreat for a 25 year old with
someone of her age though, I'm really glad that it's over so
she leaves. Right.
They were both incredibly childish.
They they egged. Each other on the insults
flying. Nobody's stopping it.
Nobody's saying, OK, I think we've reached our point.
Let's just go our separate ways now.
(12:01):
We've said enough no that each one has to have the last word,
each one has to throw the biggerinsult.
Each one has to be right with the other one being wrong.
Of course, none of it was necessary.
All you had to do was go in there and say it's not working.
Thank you for the time we've hadtogether.
I wish you well. Goodbye.
They definitely don't have any love or respect for each other.
(12:23):
So this was the right choice to make to separate.
Then when she goes back to the UK and she's praying with her
friend, she does realize at lastthis relationship was not based
on love. There was no love there.
But she blames it all on him. She says he didn't love her.
And I would like to challenge you, Shorna, to look inward and
perhaps. Accept the fact.
(12:44):
That you did not actually love him either.
Every single whole week when we open the show, you know, there's
the the intro where she's sayingthis was just, some people think
it's just a holiday romance, buthe's so hot.
It's lost. Shawna, you had a good fling.
Enjoy it. Look on it fondly as a good
memory. Move on.
And find someone who fits into your life, into this new God
(13:10):
fearing life. Which is exactly what she plans
to do. I love that she says that she's
joined the church dating app andthen follows it up with saying
I'm not ready. So then why are you on the app?
It's because she's absolutely desperate, that's what it is.
Are we satisfied? Shall we read on?
OK, let's go visit Andy and Ara first.
(13:33):
They're waiting for the visa to be approved for Ara to come to
the UK. So Andy's back in the UK, She's
still in the Philippines and it's only been two weeks, but he
hears this marvelous news that her visa visa has been approved,
which is absolutely wonderful. That is so phenomenal.
But I also wonder how how did that happen so quickly?
(13:55):
Everything in the relationship has happened so quickly.
And again, we still don't know how long they were together
before he proposed. How long has this been in the
works for? Has their relationship been in
existence for a lot longer? The timeline just doesn't make
any sense to me. However, I'm super happy for
them. I thought, you know, that phone
call that they had where he, he told her was just, it was so
(14:17):
beautiful and I love that he went to go pick her up and they
spent the time with her family. And then I became a bit
concerned when he said that theywere going to go spend the night
in the family mausoleum. Well, that's a bit MC Cobb.
Is that the right word? Yes.
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. So that that was strange.
(14:39):
I can completely understand and appreciate his apprehension,
though. I also appreciate his, the way
that he's embracing her culture.And her family obviously loved
it. But then when they get there,
it's like this two floor condo looking thing.
Like I thought it was actually quite beautiful and with
everyone around with like tents and cooking food which looked
(15:02):
incredible. Love that it's the celebration
of those who have passed and it's not one of those like
morose sad events. This was more of a family BBQ
with those who couldn't be therephysically.
Yes, I'm just going to go back in time a little bit because I
(15:24):
wanted to mention when Andy called Ara to give her the good
news, her excitement I found wasso contagious.
And what she said to him was incredibly heartwarming.
She said, I am so ready to be with you.
And I wanted to bring that up because I feel like there are
these absolutely true moments with our and Andy when you can
(15:46):
really sense the love that they've built together, even if
it has only been a short time. And I really, really enjoy that
about their relationship, that they look at one another and you
can feel the love and the words that they say to one another are
so sweet and loving, caring, generous, genuine.
For sure. The fact that he went there,
(16:08):
like you mentioned, to bring herback rather than just sending
her a plane ticket. Beautiful gesture, kindness,
thoughtfulness, consideration, making sure that her family's
still OK with her leaving and helping her to make that
transition. Because it would be incredibly
difficult, I think, for her to do that.
First time flying, first time leaving the country, and first
(16:29):
time ever leaving her family behind by herself.
At least she's got Andy to hold her hand through it.
So again, their relationship is just absolutely gorgeous.
I love watching them together, Ilove seeing how they've
developed this beautiful bond through the season, even though
they haven't been there since the very beginning.
(16:50):
It's magical and I, I, I don't want to say goodbye to them yet.
I agree. I love the way that they look at
each other, the way that they speak to and about each other,
the way that he made sure that, you know, she was comfortable
with him going to pick her up and spending time with her
family and doing this one big celebration.
(17:12):
I just, I thought it's just it'sso beautiful.
It's very reminiscent of Sheila and David, though obviously very
different relationships and people.
It was just one of the most pureand lovable couples that we've
had on the show in a really longtime.
(17:32):
And I'm so glad that we got to see everything that they've had
to go through with his disabilities and, you know,
worrying about healthcare and the real aspects of his his
disability. What does this look like?
Stark difference to Brian, am I right?
But I just it was so pure. So you know, at the beginning
(17:53):
when I said that it was so irritating, like maybe I
overshadowed this quite a bit, but it was they've been such a
joy to watch. And I agree with you, I'm not
I'm not ready to let them go. I really want to watch her.
Hopefully they'll be on H EA andwe'll get to see how she
acclimates to, to the UK and youknow, are they going to live up
(18:15):
to the promise to visit her family once a year?
And I believe that they will because he had gone to the
Philippines, what, two or three times?
I, I can definitely see him making what is that making true
on that promise? Is that right?
Making good on his word. Yeah, he does seem like an
honorable guy, and he would liveup to his promises.
(18:38):
Absolutely. The other thing that draws me
into this couple is how they're so easy with each other.
They laugh and they joke and they banter.
They are absolutely adorable together, they palpably enjoy
each other's company and I thinkthat that really bodes well for
their future. Like you, I want to see them
(18:58):
back in the UK. What happens next?
But I don't believe they've everfilmed Auk season of Happily
Ever After, so I don't have muchhope that we will see them any
further than this. Show well don't poo poo in my
dream. I won't, I we can, we can start
a petition for them, the UK people to have a happily ever
after because yes, there are some couples that I'd like to
(19:19):
catch up with. Well, hopefully the ratings are
good enough that they decide that it's worth branching out
from the what is it before the 90 days is that we're right now?
No, it's just 90 day UK. So yeah, why not branch out?
Because we. Have seen 90 day like after the
(19:42):
90 days we've we've seen so manycouples several times, have we
not? Are you talking about the UK
couples? Yeah, no, like that one has been
on so many times. Yes but they just go on the same
show. They don't have any spin offs,
they just do 90 day UK. Thank you for that correction
(20:02):
because I'm I'm pretty sure he'sbeen on my screen more than I
would ever like and that's including from the second that
he began. I'm talking about the chicken
guy to be. Clear for the listeners, Jose.
Yes, but I did want to mention that, you know, it's so awkward
when, you know, people say that they're getting married and
everyone already jumps all over,when are you having babies?
(20:23):
When are you having babies? But I can tell you, as I've said
before, my brother in law's family is Filipino.
And even when I go to the familygatherings, they're asking me,
when are you having babies? When are you getting married?
Like what I'm single, like what are you trying to do to my life
right now? But they're all just like they
all have baby fever, even like well into their 70s and 80s and
(20:47):
like babies all about the babies.
OK, I I can appreciate from a cultural perspective why they
would be all over that. And I can also see how excited
they both are to be able to havethe opportunity to grow their
family. But I also wonder if they've had
that discussion about his disabilities and whether or not
they're genetic and what they would do.
(21:08):
And, and now that I'm saying it out loud, I really think that
they would both take it in stride, the same way that Harold
would remember with him talking about Amber with his autism.
Obviously Andy's disabilities are a lot more visible and take
a lot more healthcare, but I cansee them just it's fine.
(21:30):
These are our babies, whatever. Am I making sense?
Yes, they're going to love them no matter what they get you.
That's what I was getting at, but fine, yeah.
Are you ready to read on to the final couple this week?
Who are Finn and Sandra? This was so awk.
This was very They start off going to visit Finn's mom.
That's good, but they're still talking about Sandra's sister
(21:52):
Halloweens and Sandra's ex. And then they come to this
consensus where Sandra tells Finn, stay out of it.
Let's leave it where it is for now.
There's really nothing to worry about.
I would prefer it if you did notcontact my sister.
Yeah. Not good.
No, not good at all. And for him to be like, no,
they're good. They're they're talking.
(22:14):
I'm going to go behind her back and call her sister Kate.
First of all, what does it matter if, hey, Louisa is trying
to reconnect Sandra with her ex?Sandra has her own autonomy.
She can make her own decisions. If she's not interested in being
with her ex. That should be enough for you.
But I mean, arguably it could bea thing if Finn thinks that
(22:36):
hello Louisa is pining to to reconnect them, whatever.
But at the same time, like this is the kids dad.
He's still going to be in their lives whether Finn likes it or
not. So I just it was just so
uncomfortable to watch him call her and to accuse her of trying
to set them up. And she's like, he's friends
(22:57):
with my husband. You want me to tell my husband
that I can't invite his friend to a BBQ who also happens to be
the father of my niece and nephew?
Like he might be really overstepped.
How? Louise's explanation is so good
and so understandable. Totally reasonable.
(23:17):
She has no control over whether or not this guy gets invited to
the barbecue, and she cannot, asyou just said, make up some
excuse to uninvite him. That doesn't.
That doesn't pan out. So Finn is overreacting, his
insecurities are getting the better of him, and it's starting
to interfere with his relationship.
He's because, yes, everything that he's afraid that will
(23:41):
happen, he's actually encouraging to make happen by
betraying Sandra's promise to not call her sister and by
showing a lack of loyalty towards her and doing that,
sneaking around, calling the sister without telling her that
that's what he was going to be doing, and then imposing this
narrative on the story that doesnot even exist.
(24:04):
And when you've had two people, both Heloise and Sandra, say,
no, that is not true. We're not trying to get these
two back together. There is no interest.
We're not trying to bring him back into the family and somehow
make everybody fall in love again.
It just happens to be that they did.
The two men are friends and so he's coming to this one BBQ.
(24:26):
Finn can't accept any of that and now it's almost as if it's a
self fulfilling prophecy becausehe's making Halloweens stand
against him so firmly. Because she's obviously a little
bit angry that he's coming up with all these stupid stories
and trying to make an issue out of it where there is none.
(24:47):
That she's then going to go to Sandra and say, look, I don't
think you guys are suited. He's a bit wacko.
He's really, really insecure. And what is this rubbish about
you and your ex getting back together?
You should just dump him, which is.
Exactly what happens the way in Finns very slight defense.
I think that Sandra has done a terrible job at easing his
(25:10):
insecurities. I don't think that she has given
any kind of an explanation that would ease his anxieties.
So I think that she has allowed him to spiral in her silence and
or lack of communication. So she is not without fault.
At the same time, Finn really needs to trust her and if he
(25:32):
wants to be in her life and to actually move forward with this
relationship, that he does need to trust her that she's not
going to go back to her ex. And what's the best way to do it
is to stop trying to pressure her to move to the UK when it
was already agreed upon that he was going to move there.
(25:53):
He's going to have to accept therole as a stepfather and a role
model. Establish your life there with
her because that's what she's she needs.
That's what she's communicated. And that's what her entire
family has communicated to him. And even Heluiza said on the
phone. Are you even moving here?
Yeah, did she not? Yeah, she said.
(26:13):
I don't believe that you 2 are going to get married because I
don't think that you are going to move to Brazil.
I feel like he's so worried about the ex and he's not
worried enough about the realistic part of their
relationship. Again with the move and the
being a step parent and. Could it?
Could it even be self sabotage? It could be.
(26:34):
That that he doesn't want to move to Brazil somewhere deep
down inside of him. And so he's coming up with this
Akamani story about the ex trying to get back together and
the family conspiring against him in order to make a situation
where he doesn't have to move toBrazil.
Because either Sandra is going to break up with him and there's
(26:54):
no point being to moving to Brazil, or she's going to feel
so guilt ridden that she has to move to England to be with him.
It's a long shot but it feels tome like there is some self
sabotage going on. He does seem very insecure.
He's lacking a lot of confidencein their relationship.
And again, I think that obviously most of this falls on
(27:15):
him with his insecurities. However, she's not doing
anything to help. Him, yes, absolutely, and we've
seen that over and over through the season.
It's not I'm not interested in my ex.
This is not a thing. I want to be with you.
There's a reason why I'm here with you in the UK.
I want to move forward with thisrelationship.
There's nothing, or at least it's nothing, nothing that we've
(27:36):
seen. And then the next scene is when
we go see him at work and I'd completely forgotten what he
does for a living. So I thought this was really fun
and really interesting. Then we find out that he's going
to propose on on the air. And I was like, do timing read
the room? She's so uncomfortable and yet
you pull this on her on the air.What is this going to do for
(27:59):
your viewership? Listenership.
Listenership. I don't know, I.
Don't know what you. Call it I don't think that
people will watch him on the radio, but yeah, and it's even
worse than that because he doesn't know that Sandra has
just called Heloise to have thisconversation with her and her
sister told her to come home andto break off the relationship.
(28:19):
Yeah. You want to talk about lack of
communication within the couplesas opposed to Andy and Ara?
Yeah, these two have not had enough of the difficult
conversations They've had some we've seen some we've seen quite
a bit of growth. However, they're completely
failing each other. It strikes me that they don't
have any support for one another.
(28:39):
They can individually grow, but they can't grow together.
And that's where they, they, they kind of fall down and fall
apart because of that. Anyway, the proposal is so badly
timed. Such an awkward, awkward moment.
If it's true what she says, theyhaven't been speaking that
(29:00):
morning since they had the big fight the night before.
Why on earth is he doing this? Probably because it would
pressure her to say yes, becauseshe's on the air and people are
listening. OK.
And that tracks with him being insecure because he needs a
situation where she's definitelygoing to say yes and not when
one where she could possibly sayno.
Yeah, that tracks. OK.
(29:21):
But it just, it struck me as so incredibly, I'm not even sure
what the word is for him, that he's just blind.
He doesn't see that this is the wrong moment.
You're in the middle of an argument.
She probably wants an apology. And I think in fact, she said
she wants him to apologize to her and he's going to propose.
(29:43):
You can't just pretend that all of this bad stuff doesn't exist
and isn't there and merrily continue on your way with the
romantic proposal. And that reminds me of Shorn and
Adnan. You know, she just wants him to
move forward with the proposal without actually acknowledging
any of the issues that are goingon with them.
(30:05):
Ignore them, propose. Hopefully it's going to go her
way, but obviously the opposite side because she was waiting for
the proposal but just so out to lunch.
I don't know a better way to putit.
And I don't know how much longershe's going to be in the UK for
like, was this their last opportunity?
I don't think so. Perhaps she's going to leave
(30:26):
early now, and perhaps we've just seen the.
Beginning of the end. Yeah, I was going to say the
last revolution of of their relationship as a world.
Yeah, it it does seem like they're turning a corner, even
though we don't get an answer inthis episode and we'll have to
wait till next week to find out if she said yes or no.
(30:46):
She just looked pained. As soon as he basically strong
armed her into being on the show, she was just sitting
there, it seemed, listening to him.
I'm observing. I don't want to talk.
Yeah, and then he just, you're on the show.
You have to respond and then goes for the proposal without
taking into consideration the fact that she looks like she
wants to leave the room immediately.
(31:08):
Wants to disappear. And her initial response?
Are you sick when he asks her, Will you marry me?
That should clue you into the fact that maybe you need to turn
this into a comedic moment now, and you yourself have to escape
from this in order to give her the release of the pressure.
She doesn't have to answer now. It's fine.
We'll talk about this privately.No, Ouch.
(31:29):
I am sitting here holding a ringin my hand and she says are you
sick? I don't know which one came
first, but that's really not theresponse that you want when you
propose on air. But I mean, if it's not being
recorded, then that was the perfect opportunity for her to
flip it in a comedic way, as youhad said.
(31:52):
First, your first clue is she doesn't look happy to be there.
Your second clue is her response, are you sick?
And then your final clue is, I think she said.
Today was not a good day to ask this Finn.
Please read the room. Save yourself.
Save her and yourself. Please.
I just feel so badly for both ofthem.
(32:13):
It's incredibly awkward what they're going through and then
to for it to be made public in this way makes it so much worse.
Fact that they're not being physically filmed gave him the
perfect opportunity to be like oh ha ha it's just a prank which
I hate how? Is it not being filmed because
we've watched? It I know, but I mean, like
being filmed for the radio show because, you know, we have
(32:36):
YouTube and the audio podcast, but if it wasn't actually being
filmed, that was your perfect opportunity to spin it.
Yeah. No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm really
just kidding, everyone. She's she's not here.
I don't have a ring. Like just fluff something
something. But I think we're going to have
to wait to see next week how this actually unfolds.
(33:01):
But I can't imagine how incredibly awkward that was for
both of them. And why would he think that that
was a good idea? He clearly just wanted to make a
grand romantic gesture, was not counting on the fact that they
would argue the night before andthen not even be on speaking
terms in the morning. But you did it to yourself, and
you called the sister when she told you not to.
(33:23):
And it's not like he's part of like this massive, I want to say
recording studio, but this massive radio show or news show
where there's like 45 people working in the background.
And you said, I want to propose this day.
And they've been working for weeks to try to make this
happen. And then the day of, you're
like, I guess I'm just going to do this because it's written in
(33:45):
the script. No, that's not the thing.
Because even in those those big news studios, they still make
last minute changes. So it was his choice to go ahead
with that. And again, it was painful.
Yeah. Well, that's all that I have for
this week. Is there anything else you'd
like to? ADD I don't think so.
I just want to give another shout out to Andy and Ara for
(34:06):
being so genuine and for being the stars of this season.
Not done yet but really look forward to seeing what's
happening. Shorna and Adnan, peace out.
Sandra and Finn, I'm sorry but you're done.
And Zena and Ibrahim. Zena, please get to therapy.
You were such a breath of fresh air at the beginning.
(34:27):
We found out more about you. We still love you though.
Get your shit together. Well said.
I think that's my summary. Right there.
Perfect before we. Go If you're enjoying the 90 Day
Fiance Honestly podcast, please subscribe to or give our show a
follow. If you have an additional
moment, please rate US and help other 90 Day fans to find our
(34:49):
show. Thanks for listening.
Thanks everyone. See you next week.
Hi, Amy. Hi B.
Last night was Night a Day Fiance UK season 4 episode 11
Was it a happy episode for you? No.
I mean, Oh no. Yes, yes and no.
It had its moments, but I think overall it was how much of this
is contrived? It's irritating.
OK, somewhat reward. We have to.
(00:21):
Get into that. Yeah.
What did you think? Did we watch a different show
again? I think we did.
I really loved it. I was so happy with almost every
single couple, even if the situation that they were
encountering was a -1 it made mehappy to watch it.
OK. OK.
Well, that's a positive spin on things.
OK, maybe I just need to adjust my attitude.
(00:41):
Well, as you adjust. Let me remind everybody of the
one and two 121 rate review and follow us wherever you listen to
the podcast to watch our podcaston YouTube at 90 Day Fiance,
honestly. And now we may begin cat
starting with there is a cat full on in the the camera.
I can barely see you. I am not a cat.
(01:04):
Are you sure at? This point I don't know.
Sometimes I would like to be a cat.
Me too. Let's start with Xena and
Abraham. The answer to the question Will
you marry me? Is yes, but then she.
Follows the yes with like so many different concerns.
Oh yeah, I said yes, but I'm concerned about this, this, this
(01:25):
and this. I'm like, then why did you even
say yes? I don't know.
I don't know why she said yes. I was screaming at her to say
no, Zena, no. She wasn't listening to me
though. But I did enjoy the fact that
she starts delving into these difficult issues like where do
you want to live? What's next?
And of course, the first words out of his mouth are I want to
(01:48):
marry in the UK and I want to live in the UK.
Of course he does. Who knew?
Did anybody see that coming? You know, when she said yes, I
kind of like, cackled a bit and I was like, well, this is going
to blow up, so yeah. Good, good foresight, but it's
not really a surprise that she said yes and also that then she
(02:11):
has second thoughts about it because her family is adamant
that she is going down a bad path, that this man is scamming
her and we have all seen it for ourselves.
That is probably definitely mostlikely what is happening.
I love the way that he said he could have any job in the UK.
Yes. And that was the reason for
(02:32):
moving there. I was like, I don't think so.
So happy for him that he's that confident.
I'm not happy for him at all. Maybe he could get a job in
hospitality since he has experience in that field.
But the the idea that how peoplehave who are outside of the UK
or outside of the United States is so distorted that they will
move to that country and instantly get a fantastic job
(02:54):
that pays them bags of money. And they will just be in
essence, sitting on a pot of gold in no time at all.
But they'll be hoarding it because there's so much and all
you have to do is get a regular job.
It's not the case that. Is definitely not the case.
It would be one thing if they'relike universal healthcare, yay.
But just to think that you can go move to another country and
(03:17):
that's going to solve all your problems is just that is fallacy
that many people believe in. Yeah.
That's unfortunate. Anyway, Xena justifies wanting
to move to the UK by saying justbecause he wants to move to the
UK, that doesn't mean he doesn'tlove me, Xena, Right?
She's, she's really, really trying to talk herself into
(03:39):
this, isn't she? And then when she talks about
her family and how they have problems with this relationship
and she has to go back and talk to them about it in order to
help things along. I, I, I want to say to her,
Zena, this is your gut that's talking to you, that's telling
you red flag. Stay away.
This is wrong. Do not proceed.
(04:01):
The one that's been screaming atyou since even before you left.
Yes, yeah and he is so sneaky and slimy the way as soon as he
mentioned as soon as Zena mentions that her family is
going to have an issue with themgetting married, he backtracks
his and and the issue is stems from the fact that they think
that he's scamming her in order to get to the UK.
(04:22):
He says, well, I don't mind staying the Gambia That's that's
fine. I I can stay here.
We can live here no problem. So transparent there will be a.
Problem. Please, he will drop.
Her just as quickly as he can find a new one.
Yes, I believe that. And then the next day when she
starts voicing all of her concerns to him, you can see him
(04:43):
really trying to think of a way out of it and try to manipulate
her by, oh, but I love you and everything's going to be great.
I wanted her to say to him, look, Ibrahim, I will marry you.
But there's this thing called a prenup and, and in order to get
married, you have to sign it andit'll tell you that you cannot
(05:04):
have my house, you cannot have my money, you cannot have
anything that I have had previous to the marriage.
And I get to keep my money and you have to keep yours.
And things are separate. That would have been so smart.
And then you would have known right away from his reaction if
he was there for the right reasons or not.
Because clearly he would say, what is this prenup business?
(05:26):
What a bunch of nonsense. Our love is enough, forget about
that. If you want to marry me, it has
to be without. Yeah, and then it would be one
of those things, yell sign it, yell sign it, yell sign it.
And then the day of he doesn't sign it.
So do they get married or not? I don't think they're actually
going to make it to the wedding.How many episodes do we have
left? Because we're getting close to
(05:47):
the end, aren't we? I think it's one more and then a
reunion, so. I wonder if we're going to find
out at the reunion that they've already broken out.
Yeah, I'm not sure where I wouldput my money there, if I would
put it on them having already broken up or not yet.
I have a feeling that he's goingto string her along just to get
the benefits of the money that she was sending in, the gifts
that she was sending. And meanwhile, he'll continue to
(06:08):
try to reel in a new target, somebody who will actually fall
for the whole. I guess we'll just have to wait
and see. Yes, but I'm really relieved
that she's going back to the UK and her family can talk some
sense into her, I hope. Well, they couldn't talk some
sense into her previously, so I'm not confident that that's
going to be a thing. OK, I don't know what's going to
(06:29):
be the catalyst for their breakup, but there will be 1.
You heard it here. First predictions by Amy.
Shall we read on? Sure.
Let's go to Shorna and Adnan. Well, I am not surprised because
they had another blow up, another fight, another argument,
another let's go to her own separate corners to lick our
(06:50):
wounds moment she checked into adifferent hotel.
That proposal that she wanted isso far going swimmingly well.
All signs point to yes. Just ignore those red flags
Shorna. I'm sure everything will come
out in the wash. It'll be fine, do not worry.
I'm so happy for her that this is how things went.
This was this was quite lovely. And when she starts talking
(07:12):
about how she he was talking to the cab driver about hair
transplants, why, how did that come up?
And then instead of getting the number for the Doctor Who does
said hair transplants, she gets the cabbies phone number.
I can see why you might be suspicious of that.
I think she mentioned that therehad been somebody that they saw
who had obviously just had a hair transplant and that's how
(07:33):
they got onto that subject. So that seemed legit to me.
Yes. About the phone number, I get
that, but what if he didn't knowthe doctor's phone number or it
was too difficult for him to write down the name?
I don't know, I just. I don't care at this point, OK?
Enough. Well, I just wanted to remark
upon the fact that before we getto the scene where Adnan and
(07:54):
Shawna reunite, I found that their communication was
wonderful. I didn't see that there were
really any issues at all with the 20 year age gap between
them. The fact that he's 25 and he has
the emotional capacity of a teenager and she expects him to
be as advanced as she is. Although I'm not really sure
that she is all that mature in her own way.
(08:16):
She's not. And I absolutely adore the text
messages that they were exchanging, especially the one
where he said don't call me anymore.
I thought that was very grown upand mature.
So much more mature than the behavior that she is exhibited
so. They're both pathetic.
He. Gets a little bit of a leeway
because he's 25 and he's dealingwith the narcissistic,
(08:42):
manipulative fourty something year old.
Yes, I found the projection in this episode was laughable.
Yes, borderline painful, but I was too busy laughing for it to
be that big of a deal. But again, I don't know what is
what's up with her. But like, her eyes have been so
swollen, like, not just when shegoes to meet him, but even in
(09:04):
those, in those little interviews.
Yeah. I'm not.
I'm not sure what's up with her.I.
Think she she must be praying bycandlelight or staying up
really, really late reading the Book of Mormon and so this
causes her to get bags in the morning.
Maybe with the the the candle candle smoke in her eyes, Yes.
Yes, of course, of course. Well, in this episode, we saw a
(09:27):
wonderful example of the sunken cost fallacy.
Yet again. Shawna laments the fact that she
can't leave him because they've had two years together.
And so this would be silly to throw all that away after so
much time. But you guys have been apart.
Like, they haven't actually spent that much time together in
person during those two years because I think it had been
(09:49):
almost a year when she first went to Greece to meet up with
him after she'd changed her lifeand found religion.
Yeah. So wonderful.
Then when they do meet up, I wasextra super pleased that they
decided not to meet up in a neutral location like a cafe or
somewhere public because we could just let her RIP and
(10:11):
explode all the bombs at the same time.
Found the word that came up. The word.
The words that came out of her mouth were just so rich.
There was no consideration, no love, understanding, no
sympathy. For what?
Every time she said that no love, no consideration and I
think she said no respect a couple of times as well.
I was like, look at yourself my friend, look within.
(10:35):
You are doing and exhibiting andsaying everything that you are
complaining about him exhibitingand doing and saying.
Exactly. She's just she has no.
What is that word insight? No self reflection, no self.
Reflection. No integrity, nothing.
Everything is his fault, and yetshe's sure that she can solve
(10:55):
everything, though he said no, we're done.
And you know, in the the preview, she's like, I'm going
to try to get him back, blah, blah, blah.
And then as soon as he says absolutely no, then she tries to
flip the script. Well, I don't want to be with
you. Anyway.
Let's talk about emotional maturity here.
He's the user, He's the narcissist, He's the liar, he's
(11:18):
immature. OK, great.
Just leave. But instead of just leaving, she
pulls this this glass out of nowhere.
It looked like she pulled it from under the table.
I had to rewind it several timesand she throws it at him.
The violence, the aggression wasjust so disgusting.
He's so much better off without her.
(11:39):
Even though I'm sure the sex wasgreat for a 25 year old with
someone of her age though, I'm really glad that it's over so
she leaves. Right.
They were both incredibly childish.
They they egged. Each other on the insults
flying. Nobody's stopping it.
Nobody's saying, OK, I think we've reached our point.
Let's just go our separate ways now.
(12:01):
We've said enough no that each one has to have the last word,
each one has to throw the biggerinsult.
Each one has to be right with the other one being wrong.
Of course, none of it was necessary.
All you had to do was go in there and say it's not working.
Thank you for the time we've hadtogether.
I wish you well. Goodbye.
They definitely don't have any love or respect for each other.
(12:23):
So this was the right choice to make to separate.
Then when she goes back to the UK and she's praying with her
friend, she does realize at lastthis relationship was not based
on love. There was no love there.
But she blames it all on him. She says he didn't love her.
And I would like to challenge you, Shorna, to look inward and
perhaps. Accept the fact.
(12:44):
That you did not actually love him either.
Every single whole week when we open the show, you know, there's
the the intro where she's sayingthis was just, some people think
it's just a holiday romance, buthe's so hot.
It's lost. Shawna, you had a good fling.
Enjoy it. Look on it fondly as a good
memory. Move on.
And find someone who fits into your life, into this new God
(13:10):
fearing life. Which is exactly what she plans
to do. I love that she says that she's
joined the church dating app andthen follows it up with saying
I'm not ready. So then why are you on the app?
It's because she's absolutely desperate, that's what it is.
Are we satisfied? Shall we read on?
OK, let's go visit Andy and Ara first.
(13:33):
They're waiting for the visa to be approved for Ara to come to
the UK. So Andy's back in the UK, She's
still in the Philippines and it's only been two weeks, but he
hears this marvelous news that her visa visa has been approved,
which is absolutely wonderful. That is so phenomenal.
But I also wonder how how did that happen so quickly?
(13:55):
Everything in the relationship has happened so quickly.
And again, we still don't know how long they were together
before he proposed. How long has this been in the
works for? Has their relationship been in
existence for a lot longer? The timeline just doesn't make
any sense to me. However, I'm super happy for
them. I thought, you know, that phone
call that they had where he, he told her was just, it was so
(14:17):
beautiful and I love that he went to go pick her up and they
spent the time with her family. And then I became a bit
concerned when he said that theywere going to go spend the night
in the family mausoleum. Well, that's a bit MC Cobb.
Is that the right word? Yes.
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. So that that was strange.
(14:39):
I can completely understand and appreciate his apprehension,
though. I also appreciate his, the way
that he's embracing her culture.And her family obviously loved
it. But then when they get there,
it's like this two floor condo looking thing.
Like I thought it was actually quite beautiful and with
everyone around with like tents and cooking food which looked
(15:02):
incredible. Love that it's the celebration
of those who have passed and it's not one of those like
morose sad events. This was more of a family BBQ
with those who couldn't be therephysically.
Yes, I'm just going to go back in time a little bit because I
(15:24):
wanted to mention when Andy called Ara to give her the good
news, her excitement I found wasso contagious.
And what she said to him was incredibly heartwarming.
She said, I am so ready to be with you.
And I wanted to bring that up because I feel like there are
these absolutely true moments with our and Andy when you can
(15:46):
really sense the love that they've built together, even if
it has only been a short time. And I really, really enjoy that
about their relationship, that they look at one another and you
can feel the love and the words that they say to one another are
so sweet and loving, caring, generous, genuine.
For sure. The fact that he went there,
(16:08):
like you mentioned, to bring herback rather than just sending
her a plane ticket. Beautiful gesture, kindness,
thoughtfulness, consideration, making sure that her family's
still OK with her leaving and helping her to make that
transition. Because it would be incredibly
difficult, I think, for her to do that.
First time flying, first time leaving the country, and first
(16:29):
time ever leaving her family behind by herself.
At least she's got Andy to hold her hand through it.
So again, their relationship is just absolutely gorgeous.
I love watching them together, Ilove seeing how they've
developed this beautiful bond through the season, even though
they haven't been there since the very beginning.
(16:50):
It's magical and I, I, I don't want to say goodbye to them yet.
I agree. I love the way that they look at
each other, the way that they speak to and about each other,
the way that he made sure that, you know, she was comfortable
with him going to pick her up and spending time with her
family and doing this one big celebration.
(17:12):
I just, I thought it's just it'sso beautiful.
It's very reminiscent of Sheila and David, though obviously very
different relationships and people.
It was just one of the most pureand lovable couples that we've
had on the show in a really longtime.
(17:32):
And I'm so glad that we got to see everything that they've had
to go through with his disabilities and, you know,
worrying about healthcare and the real aspects of his his
disability. What does this look like?
Stark difference to Brian, am I right?
But I just it was so pure. So you know, at the beginning
(17:53):
when I said that it was so irritating, like maybe I
overshadowed this quite a bit, but it was they've been such a
joy to watch. And I agree with you, I'm not
I'm not ready to let them go. I really want to watch her.
Hopefully they'll be on H EA andwe'll get to see how she
acclimates to, to the UK and youknow, are they going to live up
(18:15):
to the promise to visit her family once a year?
And I believe that they will because he had gone to the
Philippines, what, two or three times?
I, I can definitely see him making what is that making true
on that promise? Is that right?
Making good on his word. Yeah, he does seem like an
honorable guy, and he would liveup to his promises.
(18:38):
Absolutely. The other thing that draws me
into this couple is how they're so easy with each other.
They laugh and they joke and they banter.
They are absolutely adorable together, they palpably enjoy
each other's company and I thinkthat that really bodes well for
their future. Like you, I want to see them
(18:58):
back in the UK. What happens next?
But I don't believe they've everfilmed Auk season of Happily
Ever After, so I don't have muchhope that we will see them any
further than this. Show well don't poo poo in my
dream. I won't, I we can, we can start
a petition for them, the UK people to have a happily ever
after because yes, there are some couples that I'd like to
(19:19):
catch up with. Well, hopefully the ratings are
good enough that they decide that it's worth branching out
from the what is it before the 90 days is that we're right now?
No, it's just 90 day UK. So yeah, why not branch out?
Because we. Have seen 90 day like after the
(19:42):
90 days we've we've seen so manycouples several times, have we
not? Are you talking about the UK
couples? Yeah, no, like that one has been
on so many times. Yes but they just go on the same
show. They don't have any spin offs,
they just do 90 day UK. Thank you for that correction
(20:02):
because I'm I'm pretty sure he'sbeen on my screen more than I
would ever like and that's including from the second that
he began. I'm talking about the chicken
guy to be. Clear for the listeners, Jose.
Yes, but I did want to mention that, you know, it's so awkward
when, you know, people say that they're getting married and
everyone already jumps all over,when are you having babies?
(20:23):
When are you having babies? But I can tell you, as I've said
before, my brother in law's family is Filipino.
And even when I go to the familygatherings, they're asking me,
when are you having babies? When are you getting married?
Like what I'm single, like what are you trying to do to my life
right now? But they're all just like they
all have baby fever, even like well into their 70s and 80s and
(20:47):
like babies all about the babies.
OK, I I can appreciate from a cultural perspective why they
would be all over that. And I can also see how excited
they both are to be able to havethe opportunity to grow their
family. But I also wonder if they've had
that discussion about his disabilities and whether or not
they're genetic and what they would do.
(21:08):
And, and now that I'm saying it out loud, I really think that
they would both take it in stride, the same way that Harold
would remember with him talking about Amber with his autism.
Obviously Andy's disabilities are a lot more visible and take
a lot more healthcare, but I cansee them just it's fine.
(21:30):
These are our babies, whatever. Am I making sense?
Yes, they're going to love them no matter what they get you.
That's what I was getting at, but fine, yeah.
Are you ready to read on to the final couple this week?
Who are Finn and Sandra? This was so awk.
This was very They start off going to visit Finn's mom.
That's good, but they're still talking about Sandra's sister
(21:52):
Halloweens and Sandra's ex. And then they come to this
consensus where Sandra tells Finn, stay out of it.
Let's leave it where it is for now.
There's really nothing to worry about.
I would prefer it if you did notcontact my sister.
Yeah. Not good.
No, not good at all. And for him to be like, no,
they're good. They're they're talking.
(22:14):
I'm going to go behind her back and call her sister Kate.
First of all, what does it matter if, hey, Louisa is trying
to reconnect Sandra with her ex?Sandra has her own autonomy.
She can make her own decisions. If she's not interested in being
with her ex. That should be enough for you.
But I mean, arguably it could bea thing if Finn thinks that
(22:36):
hello Louisa is pining to to reconnect them, whatever.
But at the same time, like this is the kids dad.
He's still going to be in their lives whether Finn likes it or
not. So I just it was just so
uncomfortable to watch him call her and to accuse her of trying
to set them up. And she's like, he's friends
(22:57):
with my husband. You want me to tell my husband
that I can't invite his friend to a BBQ who also happens to be
the father of my niece and nephew?
Like he might be really overstepped.
How? Louise's explanation is so good
and so understandable. Totally reasonable.
(23:17):
She has no control over whether or not this guy gets invited to
the barbecue, and she cannot, asyou just said, make up some
excuse to uninvite him. That doesn't.
That doesn't pan out. So Finn is overreacting, his
insecurities are getting the better of him, and it's starting
to interfere with his relationship.
He's because, yes, everything that he's afraid that will
(23:41):
happen, he's actually encouraging to make happen by
betraying Sandra's promise to not call her sister and by
showing a lack of loyalty towards her and doing that,
sneaking around, calling the sister without telling her that
that's what he was going to be doing, and then imposing this
narrative on the story that doesnot even exist.
(24:04):
And when you've had two people, both Heloise and Sandra, say,
no, that is not true. We're not trying to get these
two back together. There is no interest.
We're not trying to bring him back into the family and somehow
make everybody fall in love again.
It just happens to be that they did.
The two men are friends and so he's coming to this one BBQ.
(24:26):
Finn can't accept any of that and now it's almost as if it's a
self fulfilling prophecy becausehe's making Halloweens stand
against him so firmly. Because she's obviously a little
bit angry that he's coming up with all these stupid stories
and trying to make an issue out of it where there is none.
(24:47):
That she's then going to go to Sandra and say, look, I don't
think you guys are suited. He's a bit wacko.
He's really, really insecure. And what is this rubbish about
you and your ex getting back together?
You should just dump him, which is.
Exactly what happens the way in Finns very slight defense.
I think that Sandra has done a terrible job at easing his
(25:10):
insecurities. I don't think that she has given
any kind of an explanation that would ease his anxieties.
So I think that she has allowed him to spiral in her silence and
or lack of communication. So she is not without fault.
At the same time, Finn really needs to trust her and if he
(25:32):
wants to be in her life and to actually move forward with this
relationship, that he does need to trust her that she's not
going to go back to her ex. And what's the best way to do it
is to stop trying to pressure her to move to the UK when it
was already agreed upon that he was going to move there.
(25:53):
He's going to have to accept therole as a stepfather and a role
model. Establish your life there with
her because that's what she's she needs.
That's what she's communicated. And that's what her entire
family has communicated to him. And even Heluiza said on the
phone. Are you even moving here?
Yeah, did she not? Yeah, she said.
(26:13):
I don't believe that you 2 are going to get married because I
don't think that you are going to move to Brazil.
I feel like he's so worried about the ex and he's not
worried enough about the realistic part of their
relationship. Again with the move and the
being a step parent and. Could it?
Could it even be self sabotage? It could be.
(26:34):
That that he doesn't want to move to Brazil somewhere deep
down inside of him. And so he's coming up with this
Akamani story about the ex trying to get back together and
the family conspiring against him in order to make a situation
where he doesn't have to move toBrazil.
Because either Sandra is going to break up with him and there's
(26:54):
no point being to moving to Brazil, or she's going to feel
so guilt ridden that she has to move to England to be with him.
It's a long shot but it feels tome like there is some self
sabotage going on. He does seem very insecure.
He's lacking a lot of confidencein their relationship.
And again, I think that obviously most of this falls on
(27:15):
him with his insecurities. However, she's not doing
anything to help. Him, yes, absolutely, and we've
seen that over and over through the season.
It's not I'm not interested in my ex.
This is not a thing. I want to be with you.
There's a reason why I'm here with you in the UK.
I want to move forward with thisrelationship.
There's nothing, or at least it's nothing, nothing that we've
(27:36):
seen. And then the next scene is when
we go see him at work and I'd completely forgotten what he
does for a living. So I thought this was really fun
and really interesting. Then we find out that he's going
to propose on on the air. And I was like, do timing read
the room? She's so uncomfortable and yet
you pull this on her on the air.What is this going to do for
(27:59):
your viewership? Listenership.
Listenership. I don't know, I.
Don't know what you. Call it I don't think that
people will watch him on the radio, but yeah, and it's even
worse than that because he doesn't know that Sandra has
just called Heloise to have thisconversation with her and her
sister told her to come home andto break off the relationship.
(28:19):
Yeah. You want to talk about lack of
communication within the couplesas opposed to Andy and Ara?
Yeah, these two have not had enough of the difficult
conversations They've had some we've seen some we've seen quite
a bit of growth. However, they're completely
failing each other. It strikes me that they don't
have any support for one another.
(28:39):
They can individually grow, but they can't grow together.
And that's where they, they, they kind of fall down and fall
apart because of that. Anyway, the proposal is so badly
timed. Such an awkward, awkward moment.
If it's true what she says, theyhaven't been speaking that
(29:00):
morning since they had the big fight the night before.
Why on earth is he doing this? Probably because it would
pressure her to say yes, becauseshe's on the air and people are
listening. OK.
And that tracks with him being insecure because he needs a
situation where she's definitelygoing to say yes and not when
one where she could possibly sayno.
Yeah, that tracks. OK.
(29:21):
But it just, it struck me as so incredibly, I'm not even sure
what the word is for him, that he's just blind.
He doesn't see that this is the wrong moment.
You're in the middle of an argument.
She probably wants an apology. And I think in fact, she said
she wants him to apologize to her and he's going to propose.
(29:43):
You can't just pretend that all of this bad stuff doesn't exist
and isn't there and merrily continue on your way with the
romantic proposal. And that reminds me of Shorn and
Adnan. You know, she just wants him to
move forward with the proposal without actually acknowledging
any of the issues that are goingon with them.
(30:05):
Ignore them, propose. Hopefully it's going to go her
way, but obviously the opposite side because she was waiting for
the proposal but just so out to lunch.
I don't know a better way to putit.
And I don't know how much longershe's going to be in the UK for
like, was this their last opportunity?
I don't think so. Perhaps she's going to leave
(30:26):
early now, and perhaps we've just seen the.
Beginning of the end. Yeah, I was going to say the
last revolution of of their relationship as a world.
Yeah, it it does seem like they're turning a corner, even
though we don't get an answer inthis episode and we'll have to
wait till next week to find out if she said yes or no.
(30:46):
She just looked pained. As soon as he basically strong
armed her into being on the show, she was just sitting
there, it seemed, listening to him.
I'm observing. I don't want to talk.
Yeah, and then he just, you're on the show.
You have to respond and then goes for the proposal without
taking into consideration the fact that she looks like she
wants to leave the room immediately.
(31:08):
Wants to disappear. And her initial response?
Are you sick when he asks her, Will you marry me?
That should clue you into the fact that maybe you need to turn
this into a comedic moment now, and you yourself have to escape
from this in order to give her the release of the pressure.
She doesn't have to answer now. It's fine.
We'll talk about this privately.No, Ouch.
(31:29):
I am sitting here holding a ringin my hand and she says are you
sick? I don't know which one came
first, but that's really not theresponse that you want when you
propose on air. But I mean, if it's not being
recorded, then that was the perfect opportunity for her to
flip it in a comedic way, as youhad said.
(31:52):
First, your first clue is she doesn't look happy to be there.
Your second clue is her response, are you sick?
And then your final clue is, I think she said.
Today was not a good day to ask this Finn.
Please read the room. Save yourself.
Save her and yourself. Please.
I just feel so badly for both ofthem.
(32:13):
It's incredibly awkward what they're going through and then
to for it to be made public in this way makes it so much worse.
Fact that they're not being physically filmed gave him the
perfect opportunity to be like oh ha ha it's just a prank which
I hate how? Is it not being filmed because
we've watched? It I know, but I mean, like
being filmed for the radio show because, you know, we have
(32:36):
YouTube and the audio podcast, but if it wasn't actually being
filmed, that was your perfect opportunity to spin it.
Yeah. No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm really
just kidding, everyone. She's she's not here.
I don't have a ring. Like just fluff something
something. But I think we're going to have
to wait to see next week how this actually unfolds.
(33:01):
But I can't imagine how incredibly awkward that was for
both of them. And why would he think that that
was a good idea? He clearly just wanted to make a
grand romantic gesture, was not counting on the fact that they
would argue the night before andthen not even be on speaking
terms in the morning. But you did it to yourself, and
you called the sister when she told you not to.
(33:23):
And it's not like he's part of like this massive, I want to say
recording studio, but this massive radio show or news show
where there's like 45 people working in the background.
And you said, I want to propose this day.
And they've been working for weeks to try to make this
happen. And then the day of, you're
like, I guess I'm just going to do this because it's written in
(33:45):
the script. No, that's not the thing.
Because even in those those big news studios, they still make
last minute changes. So it was his choice to go ahead
with that. And again, it was painful.
Yeah. Well, that's all that I have for
this week. Is there anything else you'd
like to? ADD I don't think so.
I just want to give another shout out to Andy and Ara for
(34:06):
being so genuine and for being the stars of this season.
Not done yet but really look forward to seeing what's
happening. Shorna and Adnan, peace out.
Sandra and Finn, I'm sorry but you're done.
And Zena and Ibrahim. Zena, please get to therapy.
You were such a breath of fresh air at the beginning.
(34:27):
We found out more about you. We still love you though.
Get your shit together. Well said.
I think that's my summary. Right there.
Perfect before we. Go If you're enjoying the 90 Day
Fiance Honestly podcast, please subscribe to or give our show a
follow. If you have an additional
moment, please rate US and help other 90 Day fans to find our
(34:49):
show. Thanks for listening.
Thanks everyone. See you next week.
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