September 15, 2025 • 41 mins
Amber and Victoria have a double-date, but both experience a change of behavior in their dates. Monica predictably comes to a different conclusion about who is the best match for her. Harold takes Amber on a final date, and tells her he plans to stay in Singapore. Sarah and EJ have their last dinner and work through the reality of distance and their respective timelines.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hi Amy. Hi V you are there OK good.
We just watched Match V Abroad Season 2 episode 13 which was
like a really long long episode it.
Seemed like it, very dramatic. Lots of things happened.
I couldn't believe how much theypacked into this single hour 45
minutes ish. It was jam packed full of drama
(00:25):
and. Stuff unexpected twists and
turns and questionable behaviors.
Are so questionable I need to give I was going to say
spanking, but no violence. So somebody needs a stern
talking to fair am I right? Yes, yes, you are right.
(00:45):
OK, before we jump in, let's talk about some comments that we
got from our listeners this pastweek.
Yes, ma'am. OK, here we go.
Kimberly Jo always a a favorite of ours.
Would you like to sponsor me on a trip to match me abroad?
You can help me choose and date.It would be so much fun.
I think that would be absolutelyphenomenal.
(01:07):
What do you think about becomingmatchmakers?
Dropping everything and just matching people for love.
I don't think I would be good atit.
Come on, Yes, you would. I, I don't know, like I'd like
to think that I'm a fairly good judge of character, but when it
comes to you know what I say this and yet my 2 best friends
(01:30):
are engaged and I've been tryingto set them up for years.
And OK, those three friends thatI have set up who were either
engaged and or married who were still together after 15 plus
years. Proven track record.
Damn it, beat that. You proved me wrong.
See, Maybe I would be OK at it. Do you think you'd be good at
(01:52):
it? I like to think so, yes, because
I love people in love and I liketo make people happy.
I do have a brain in my head. So you do.
That helps. You do.
I can confirm that, yes. I mean, I haven't seen it
myself, but I know that if you never.
Will God yes. So the only thing missing here
is an infinite source of cash from which we can actually
(02:16):
travel and bring Kimberly Jo along with us to Ireland or
wherever she desires to go to meet her beloved.
So one day we will summon her onour matchmaking journey.
Or maybe not, because who knows when those funds are going to
present themselves life. Has its twists and turns as we
discovered watching this episode.
(02:37):
You never know. All right, next somebody
commented from 2 episodes ago, episode 11.
Remember when Louisa went to thecafe and she was waiting for
Tony and we were a little bit concerned for her?
So we got this comment, which I'm not even sure if it showed
up on Spotify, which is where these are all coming from
(02:57):
because it was listed as inappropriate or sensitive.
But it's not this person. K Fox says even if she's
protected Louisa, it doesn't mean him.
What's his face attempting to attack or won't cause distress?
Absolutely. Not physically attacking her,
but verbally attacking her. Verbal violence is as insidious
(03:20):
as physical. Violence.
Absolutely agree, and especiallybecause she comes from, like she
said, one of her previous relationships.
She's dated a guy exactly like him.
Yeah. We don't need to expose her or
re traumatize her with that kindof behavior from that kind of
man. So I completely, completely
(03:40):
agree with that comment. As do I totally there's there's
more than one way to just cause distress in somebody that
doesn't have to involve using your body.
Next, our final comment. Where did it go to?
Also about episode 11 from Tweely, who says I very much
agree that this EJ might be a very nice man, but I'm also not
(04:03):
buying everything he is selling.Something about both of them
meaning him and Sarah feels off what she says she wants and her
actions do not totally match. I thought that about most of
these love seekers this season. I have been there too, so I
understand. Yeah.
I wonder where she thinks he's hiding.
(04:25):
Oh, well, we didn't really find out in this episode if there was
any other hidden agenda from EJ or Sarah, but I agree.
Like, you just don't know, really.
That's part of the problem of this show is that they don't
spend enough time together to get to know each other to that
extent. Yeah.
(04:45):
Anyway, anything further or shall we just dive right in?
Well, do you want me to make theannouncement now?
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Please announce.
We have scheduled an interview with EJ Phillip, the EJ who is
currently dating Sarah on Match Me Abroad.
(05:05):
This is going to be aired on September 28th, which is a
Sunday time to be determined, but it will be released on
September 28th. So yes, to our listeners.
We will be interviewing a man who is currently on Match Me
Abroad. This is going to be so
incredibly exciting, hopefully enlightening.
(05:29):
I've been excited about this forweeks now, so I'm glad I can
finally get it out there. Yeah, it's going to be
fantastic. I'm so excited to welcome EJ to
our podcast and to talk with himabout what his experience was
like on Match Me Abroad. We should mention that if any of
our listeners have any burning questions that they really want
answered by EJ, please send themto us.
(05:53):
Either send us a message on Spotify, leave a comment, leave
a message on Instagram, on Facebook, or you can get to us
via our Gmail, which is 90 day honestly@gmail.com.
And we cannot wait to have him here to see what he has to say
(06:13):
about Sarah Singapore, the show,the other people on the show.
So we'll go. To the party, it's getting
pretty long. I mean, we've been talking about
this for a while now. Yeah.
OK. Calm, calm, Amy, we have one
last piece of business to get tobefore we dive into the absolute
(06:37):
drama that was this week's episode.
And that's the 121 rate review and follow us wherever you
listen to the podcast to watch us on YouTube at 90 Day Fiance.
Honestly, let's get started in Ireland with both Amber and
Victoria on their double date. Imagine my surprise because I
wasn't watching, I was just listening.
(06:58):
I'm like, there's a lot more voices involved and they all
sound from. I was very confused.
OK. I thought it was cute that they
went on a double date. I thought it wasn't cute that
Amber chose Mr. Eyebrows as her date.
She is leaning towards Mr. Eyebrows as her final choice
unfortunately, and she tells us that she is about to put Keevan
(07:22):
into the friend zone and it was interesting to see and hear how
Victoria was picking up on what Glenn was putting out there.
Mr. Eyebrows is a show off, she says he's wearing more makeup
than Victoria is and he's borrowing Amber's makeup to
touch up his face. These are red flags to me, would
you not agree? I. 100% agree.
(07:44):
I just, I was about to say something and then all I could
see were his eyebrows and I can hear you just say Oh my God
those eyebrows. Yeah, that's my lack of thought.
Excellent. Well, Darren Victoria's date,
he's been invited to visit her in New York and he has accepted
the invitation. But the point at which he and
(08:06):
Victoria find themselves in their relationship, they do not
want to attach any labels to it.There's also not been any
kissing yet. Problematic, but I.
I think they said that from bothsides for both couples, right?
Glenn and Amber have kissed. They kissed on their very first
date. Well, they did OK Anyway, I was
just thinking about how, you know, Monica ends up making it
(08:30):
with everyone. The thing that they do have in
common, Amber and Victoria, is that they both don't want to
label their relationships, is that I think that's fair.
Because it's only been like a couple like a week or two or
yeah, a couple dates at least. And why do you need to have
that, that label, that definition?
(08:52):
What is what is that going to give you?
I mean, unless you're going to talk about being exclusive and
you know you're not going to seeanyone else.
Well, it's a sense of security, right?
Just like we see in Harold, who wants to lock it down with Amber
before he leaves Singapore. And even when we watch EJ and
Sarah, it seems like she wants to have some sort of commitment
from him before she leaves to goback to the States.
(09:12):
Everybody wants a label except for these two women.
I can see it from both sides is what I'm saying.
The problem seems to be though, that because Victoria and Darren
have not had any physical connection at all yet, there's
been no kissing. She's starting to clue into the
(09:34):
fact that maybe this is an indicator that their
relationship, quote unquotes, isnot stable enough to survive her
going back to New York, and maybe they need to get past that
barrier before she leaves if there is any chance for them to
have any future. Well, I think they need to talk
about the future before they caneven consider how they're going
(09:54):
to define it. Yeah, but it also helps if they
kiss first. That too, like, do you have that
sexual chemistry in addition to,you know, just the chemistry
with your personalities and energy?
I don't think they really do, I just see this as a friendship.
I see them as having a good buddy, old time together, but
(10:16):
not feeling a romantic connection at all.
Yeah. I just don't see any spark
between them when they're at this cooking date, which by the
way, fantastic idea cooking date.
Love that. And I don't, I don't feel like
they are leaning towards each other, brushing up against each
other. There's none of that going on at
(10:36):
all. It's just a couple of people
having fun and that's it. Bros being Bros.
If you like, sure. I don't know.
Anyway, dinner looked delicious,but I wondered where the salad
was as. Always.
So Mr. Eyebrows. He's talking about going to the
US to visit Amber. He seems raring to go.
(10:58):
Sure, I'll go. I've got a laptop, my business
is transportable, I can work from anywhere.
They ask if he would leave when she does which I guess is in the
a day or two and he says Yep I'll go right away see if things
work. I believe him to be completely
out of his mind and or just doing things for the camera.
It's all just lips, Orbis. Anyway, going back to that food,
(11:21):
was that a shepherd's pie? Was it a cottage pie because it
was made with beef and not lamb?I guess I I don't eat meat.
I don't know. I believe that's the
distinction. Shepherd's pie is made with
lamb. Cottage pie is made with
typically beef, but it could be any other kind of ground meat.
Correct me if I'm wrong listeners.
(11:43):
That's my understanding, sorry. And the bread.
Don't forget the Irish soda bread.
Oh, yeah. Yum, Yum, Yum.
All right. Does Amber have any doubts about
where she stands with Glenn? She says she doesn't want to
rush, but she also says that shethinks that Mister Eyebrows is
exactly what she needs. To which I say, excuse me.
(12:07):
Excuse me, Amber. Madam.
Very very sorry to interject. No, not in a million years.
Not the guy for you. When?
When are these women going to finally listen to the
matchmakers advice and choose the guy who is good for them?
Anyone, anyone? Yes, very much so.
(12:27):
And then they go out as a group together to a club.
But then things start to unravelfrom there.
This was a disaster. I did not understand what was
going on. It sounded so horrific,
especially for Amber. So she is with this group of
people, they're going out to a club, then she's all alone, her
(12:47):
date has gone, Victoria and Darren have disappeared, so she
makes her way back to her hotel after.
Texting him several times. She has before she left, Yes.
She just texted him both before she left and after she arrived
at her hotel. No response.
Then she sees on his social media that he's out partying and
(13:09):
he's posting pictures of himselfat other.
Clubs. What?
The thought process behind that is completely lost on me, she
said. She turned around and then he
was gone and he's. Oh, I was in the bathroom.
Yeah, but I texted you and I told you exactly where I was.
And then he responds back sayingwell I texted you 3 times and
(13:30):
she got all up in his business. I really appreciated the way
that she accosted him, pulls outher phone where where did you
send me these 3 messages? Because there are none.
And he didn't like that she called him out on his BS.
But his response was so triggering for me, just so
(13:51):
narcissistic, and I could feel my own blood boil.
So when she knocked the drink out of his hand and she even
knocked her own drink over, I mean, at that point flipped the
whole table over. But I was just so glad that she
got out of there. Absolutely.
I kind of want to dissect this bit by bit because it is such an
incredibly predictive pattern that narcissists exhibit.
(14:13):
So leaving aside the part where he just ditched her because he
wasn't finding her entertaining enough, obviously doesn't hold
himself accountable like a normal person would and respond
to her text or say are you OK? Did you get home all right?
I'm really sorry. None of that.
No, he cannot be wrong. That's a very key point.
(14:36):
He lies to her face when they'resitting down at the pub.
When it comes to talking about the text messages, he acts
confused. What are you talking about?
How you can't possibly know whatI was doing or thinking or what
my feelings were? Where does this come from?
As if your question yourself. Yes, making you think you're the
(14:59):
crazy one. He's very specifically trying to
rewrite history so that he appears to be the good guy and
she's the bad guy. He will not apologize.
No, no, no, not for anything. Then he tells her you need to
calm down love that you need to calm down.
When she tries to hold him responsible for his actions,
(15:23):
pulls out the proof as he's gaslighting her that she did not
text him, he brings out the big guns.
You need to calm down. Your emotions are out of
control. I'm the calm one here, but you
clearly are not. I love that.
And then the next one, self victimization.
You are insulting me. You're the one who's throwing
(15:44):
around these words. You're How dare you.
Me a liar. You're you're labeling my
behavior as a jerk. You're the one who's calling me
an asshole. You're the bad guy.
I'm the victim. Poor me, you insane woman coming
at me with your emotions. And meanwhile, this grin on his
(16:05):
face like he's won, like he's winning, like you are proving
every single point that I'm making.
Crazy lady who needs to calm down to the point where her
emotional response is now so high because she's being gaslit.
She's been labeled crazy. She has to calm down.
He's not admitting his any wrongdoing.
(16:28):
He's throwing everything back ather that she's trying to get a
response from him, and then she's smacks the drink out of
his hand, which obviously no condoning of violence.
That is not a good move. We don't condone.
That, nor do we condone. Alcohol abuse, absolutely.
Abuse of alcohol is terrible, whether it's in your body or on
(16:48):
the floor. But my consolation to Amber is
you have finally seen the truth about this man Hurrah.
Hooray. Finally.
Mr. Eyebrows can go to hell and enjoy his ride all the way down
there. But you know, he's going to
smile the entire time, of course, and he's going to be
(17:12):
that guy that's like, oh, this is fine.
What a shit pile. Yeah, and then it gets worse
because I mean with Amber. It gets worse with Amber.
How? What?
Because she left. She left with Darren and then
the next. What Victoria you're talking
about, Vic? Am I?
Yes. You know, I saw the name Amber,
(17:34):
but yet I said Vic. I'm just that's my ears.
It's my ears. Excuse me, It's my problem.
Am I talking about the right person?
Victoria Yes, you are. Please continue.
Anyway, things got worse for her.
My sweet girl. I don't remember how their night
ended, but no, he was supposed to come over for her last night.
(17:56):
He said I'll be there by such and such a time doesn't show up.
She messages him and then she gives up around 2.
AMI probably would have given upat 10:00 PM, if not earlier than
that because that is bedtime wasn't actively out doing
things. So she gave him more than
(18:16):
enough, and she's stuck at the hotel waiting to figure out
whether or not he's going to show up to drive her to the
airport. Now, did we not?
Did we not in the first instancewhere he didn't show up for
their date? Did we not see the irony here
and her being ghosted? Shoot, that was completely lost
(18:38):
on me. You're welcome.
Yeah, Oh my God, that's so funny.
Yeah, hilarious and awful at thesame time.
And now every time she looks that tattoo, she's going to
remember being ghosted. Yes, literally and figuratively.
I mean, hopefully not literally because that would mean death,
(18:59):
but you know what I mean. Figuratively and figuratively.
Like anyway, take my microphone away from me right now.
So Darren also seems to be a piez de meld just.
Running away? What is this?
What did they do? What did they drink?
What did they ingest? Both Darren and Glenn have gone
completely wild and turned into these massive assholes.
(19:23):
Yeah, I I wonder if there were drugs involved.
Party drugs. Maybe.
Maybe. My Lord just almost came out of
my mouth, but both of these guysdid the Irish goodbye.
I don't know that one. What's an Irish goodbye?
When you just don't say anythingand you peace out.
Is it really? Yeah.
(19:45):
That's a thing. Yeah, I did not know that.
OK, cool. Irish.
Goodbye. All right.
So same as ghosting. Yeah, yes, yes.
But anyway, with these two, justpeace.
I want to see the silver lining for both of them.
For Amber, I already said it's that she's found out what
(20:06):
Glenn's true character is. For Vic, I felt that it was more
along the lines of when she's talking about how she feels
about this and she's really upset because it's triggering
her emotionally and and historically because of her dad,
she's recognizing these patternsand she wants to share that
information with Darren, which Ithink is great because that's a
(20:29):
really good way for her to work through those patterns and
release them, to recognize them,to label them, to say I know
what this is and this is how youmade me feel.
I think that's wonderful. I think that is going to be an
incredible resolution for her and her relationship with Darren
to identify the behaviors, the patterns, to break the patterns,
(20:53):
to call them out when given the opportunity.
And then you can release it and heal because now you've called
it out, now you've broken that pattern.
I, I felt so empowered for her when she was packing and she was
getting so angry and she was explaining why she was so angry
(21:14):
and I felt so proud for her for finding her confidence to be
able to say, I want to say this to him.
He will not just leave me like this.
I will tell him how I feel. I loved that.
I love that too, but it's not just a let me dump this on him
and shower him with my anger. It's not that like she wants to
(21:37):
express herself. And she says she's open to
hearing what he thinks and how he feels and what he
experienced, what's been going on.
So I love that she's holding a space for him, even in the face
of her very heightened emotions.Yes.
That's fantastic. Very adult again.
(21:59):
Empowering, taking back that control while also still living
in your own character with your kindness and compassion.
Yeah, it's very beautiful. Very beautiful.
I'm going to cry. I mean, it sucks that either one
of these women had to go throughthat, though I'm very glad that
(22:19):
they did so that they were able to come to their own decisions,
growth. All about the growth.
Love that. Shall we read on?
My God. OK yeah.
Sorry to suck my notes. This is so annoying.
Monica. As expected, as predicted as we
knew she would, she second guesses herself into rejecting
(22:43):
Bruno and more than likely pursuing Bernardo again.
This, when she was talking aboutchoosing Bruno, I could hear it
in her voice, how noncommittal she was just so lacking
confidence and with remorse. I'm like, no woman, no, you're
(23:05):
not going to do this. No, you're not going to give up
this man who you admit checks every box and is the man that
you should be with. And yet at no point did you look
within yourself and think, why am I feeling so forlorn about
this man who doesn't meet any ofmy requirements?
(23:29):
There was no introspection. There was no nothing.
It was just her. Feeling her feeling OK now I
have to make a decision. My good Lord woman, you need so
much therapy. You need help.
And the fact that she called Bruno instead of calling Louisa.
I think even if she called Louisa she wouldn't listen to
her anyway because she doesn't listen to a damn thing that
(23:51):
Louisa has tried to tell her or guide her anything but.
As you're saying that, I'm thinking to myself, but isn't
this the trauma pattern that sheis in where she's used to the
men who treat her badly? That's what she complained about
when we first met her. I went back and I rewatched
episode 1 again today because I wanted to remind her myself of
(24:15):
how she positioned her desire for a future partner.
So she's used to men using her and casting her side very
easily, going on to the next one, the next one, the next 1.
And in Bruno, she breaks that pattern, which her brain, her
neurological pathways, her body is not used to, is not familiar
(24:39):
with, does not understand, and so she finds it boring and
lackluster and uninteresting. But when she has Bernardo, the
guy who puts her on an emotionalroller coaster so that she feels
fantastic and lustful one minuteand then like a pile of poop the
next, because he he backs out ontheir date, then her brain goes,
(25:03):
yes, oh, familiar pattern, yes. Comfort, ease.
This is what I'm used to. This is what I should be doing.
It's thriving in the chaos of familiarity.
Yeah, wow. But.
She completely talks herself outof having a relationship with
Bruno, even though they had thatromantic date on the beach that
we saw a little tiny clip of where he's talking about how he
(25:24):
would love to come to the Statesand meet her daughter, which is
a dagger to the heart. Like he's so sweet and perfect.
And she runs away from that. She runs away from a real chance
to find love. This is self sabotage to the NTH
degree. Yeah, I just, I felt so bad for
Bruno. He just, he deserves so much
(25:46):
more. Yes.
I'm just, I'm glad that he didn't sit there and robble too
much. I mean, he did a bit, but tried
to challenge her, her decision. But she was she was having none
of it. And that reminds me of after her
first date with Bruno, how she called Bernardo bawling her eyes
out about how she feels like shecheated on him, like she was so
(26:06):
emotionally invested in him fromthe very beginning.
And I think Louise's test of, you know, throw the man who you
would typically go for first before the man who you should
probably be with. I think that Monica just she
just allowed that to blow up in her face.
(26:27):
She didn't listen to any of the lessons.
She hasn't grown in any capacity.
I find it just remarkable when she says I'm I'm making these
logic based decisions. This is my new pattern.
I've always been emotionally driven and I've always gone with
my heart and my gut, but now I'mmaking a sensible choice by
(26:48):
thinking about this rationally. I'm like, girl, opposite,
opposite. No, no, no.
You're doing the same thing. Now she's making this decision
based on a trauma bond or bond with the trauma.
Response and then I thought likeyou did it would have been so
great if she had spoken with Louisa first because Louisa
(27:10):
would have been able to step outside the emotion and say to
her, look, do you really think in this moment that Bernardo was
thinking about you the way that you're thinking about him
Honestly, keep pining for you heprobably.
Forgot about her the second thathe left that meeting.
Yep. The second that he left the
meeting where he showed absolutely 0 interest and 0
(27:33):
effort in trying to win her. Meh, such a disappointment.
I don't know is there? There's not going to be a tell
all for this, is there? No, there, there isn't typically
a tell all anyway. The way she explains I'm not
right for you, Well, she is right about that because she
can't appreciate Bruno. She can't see him for what he
(27:54):
is. And my gosh, he deserves better
than that. That's exactly what I was going
to say. He deserves so much more.
He just seems like such a kind man and I love.
Also the way that Bruno showed so much emotion when she finally
said that she was breaking up with him, in stark contrast to
the show we did yesterday where we were talking about Abraham
(28:16):
and Xena and how she broke up with him.
They were fianceed at the time supposedly and he did not shed a
tear. Like this is a true emotional
reaction to being broken up withwhat we saw on 90 Day UK.
Not emotional, not invested. Bruno was in this.
(28:37):
He had set his heart in her hands and she's mushed.
It great comparison. So it's clear what's next, she's
going to try to win Bernardo back the Classic.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Wanting what you can't have, never satisfied with what's in
front of you. My prediction is they're going
to hook up, she's going to leave, he's going to string her
(29:00):
along for a bit, and then he's also going to ghost her because
he is, he has no use for her when she's not there.
Yeah, yeah, OK. Self fulfilling prophecy right
there. Way to go, Monica.
Woo Hoo. Way to learn nothing.
Yay. And you know what really touched
me the most about watching re watching episode 1 was the parts
(29:22):
where her daughter was talking about how she so much wants her
mom to find love because she canno longer be her emotional
support person. Yes, Mom.
Is depending on her daughter toomuch to the point where it seems
like the daughter's not really able to go out and flourish and
have her own life, and Monica isdraining her emotionally the way
(29:46):
a parent should not interfere intheir child's life.
So I feel even more sad for the daughter knowing that this has
happened. Monica's completely gone off the
rails, or stayed on the rails ifyou like, following her same
patterns and thrown away this giant opportunity to meet
somebody. Fantastic.
(30:07):
She's just a disappointment. Let us read on, because Harold
does not disappoint, does he? Harold does not.
You know, I love when he's talking to Amber and then he
has, like, his super serious face and then he's like, huh.
And then he's, like, reminding himself to smile and then back
to being serious so that he can actively listen to her.
(30:28):
Yeah. He's just.
He's so cute. I love him so much and I love
this Amber. I want to say yes.
Yeah, they're both very, very sweet and lovable.
The idea of Roma, romantic cruise, beautiful, fantastic
idea. This is heart melting stuff.
And I love the mathematical approach that he took to
(30:51):
choosing this as the format for his last date, you know,
weighing his odds for having hadsuch great dates on boats
before. So he wants to continue that
success arc. That was just so cute.
I love the idea of having dinneron the boat.
I didn't look like it was too busy.
You know, they didn't have to yell over anyone else, which
(31:12):
they probably wouldn't have, youknow, filming.
But it just the two of them thatI just, I love the way that they
communicate with each other, howthey both listen.
I think Amber looked absolutely phenomenal.
I don't know if she did something with her hair or if it
was her dress, but she just, shelooked so beautiful.
And I thought it was so heartwarming, you know, her
(31:33):
sharing that, you know, he askedabout her friend Joe.
And just like, oh, she's good. And I think that you would
really get along with all of my friends.
And, you know, I hope that I would get along well with yours.
And they talked about, like, mashing the friendships.
And I can't imagine how big of arelief that would have been for
Harold to hear because he was really worried about meeting
(31:56):
her, Joe. I mean, yes, I thought it was
just so, so adorable. And then they had they had a
couple little joke things. I agree.
I love the joking around. We see this with the couples
that really get along together, that have actual chemistry, that
(32:16):
there's a lot of witty repartee,there's little pokes and prods
at each other to tease one another, and even Amber admits
we have really good chemistry together.
And I was like wow, love that. Amazing.
Excellent. But Harold has to tell her, in
the way that Dolly suggested, soas not to scare Amber away, that
(32:40):
he's planning to spend more timein Singapore because he has
decided to do that. And he doesn't quite get it
right. He says I'd like to spend more
time in Singapore with you. Yes.
Whoopsie. Yeah.
And. Then we don't get to see her
response. So now we're going to have to
wait until next week. I'm really hoping that this
(33:01):
doesn't blow up the way that we've seen the other couples.
Yes, in this episode. But I wanted to make mention of,
you know, when they were talkingabout their experience together,
how that it was like an intensive dating camp.
And then Harold says something to the effect of, you know,
(33:21):
there's been lots of laughs and tears.
Amber was like, whoa, wait, no, we haven't had any tears, unless
you mean tears of perspiration. Yes, like they they were just so
rich with one liners on this one.
I thought it was just. Again.
It's Harold. It's just a joy.
I love. I love watching the two of them.
(33:43):
Yeah, there there's no anguish watching Harold and his dates as
there is with Monica who's making stupid choices or with
the 2 ladies in Ireland who are dating stupid men.
It's pure joy and I love it and I want more.
Me too, me too. I mean now he's been on two
(34:04):
seasons fully, he doesn't have to be on 1/3 unless it's like
match. Be abroad happily ever after.
Shall we read on? Yes, because now we get to talk
about Sarah and EJ. They have their final date.
This is the eve of her going back to the United States.
They're going to go have dinner together at what seems to be a
(34:26):
very lovely restaurant. And Sarah is really feeling EJ.
You can see it. She's into him the way that.
She looks at him. Yeah, she wants to lock it down.
So she wants to have her answers, especially with regards
to the two year plan that EJ hasversus her one year plan for
(34:46):
children. But first, does he want to go to
the US? And his response, I was like not
buying this. He does not seem enthusiastic.
If, if I was to be completely honest, I would say that he was
just stringing her along for this.
He doesn't want to go to the States because you don't say,
oh, I'm going to wear a cowboy hat or go to the rodeo.
No, don't you? I don't.
(35:10):
I would have thought a more appropriate response would be I
can't wait to see you in your hometown on your home turf.
OK, I don't. Know Did you think it was
genuine? I think I was more focused on
everything else that came out ofher mouth and not so much his
response because I think I've already decided in my head that
(35:31):
they're not a thing because she starts going on about how she's
second guessing the the long distance.
Yes. Well, why didn't you think about
that before you decided to matchwith a man in Singapore?
He's in Singapore. How many times have I said that
(35:51):
this week she chose to go there.I assume that that was her
choice. And like, why is this a thing
now? And I, I think that EJ was being
really realistic about his, his timeline.
And I really don't think that compromising on a timeline to
have kids is really, I mean, it doesn't always work out the
(36:15):
greatest. I can understand why she wants
to, to push for it to be sooner because she is in her late 30s.
EJ is what, 44? He's in his early fees and he
doesn't have that timeline. So do you really want someone
just to be like, OK, yeah, I'll have kids with you in the next
(36:38):
year and then keep stringing youalong of.
Course not, no. Why don't you find someone who
wants to have kids within your timeline, but also give yourself
the space to, you know, establish your relationship
before you immediately jump intoparenthood together?
Like, that's a huge decision. Is a year enough time to really
(36:59):
know someone not to have a baby with them?
I mean, it happens all the time.But like, depends on the people.
Because if it was Ara and Andy from, again, 90 Day UK, great,
Terrific. They've only been together for a
few months and they're already married and everything is
fantastic. It really depends on the people,
yeah. I just, I, I think that, you
know, having kids is a huge decision.
(37:22):
And if she can't accept his timeline, then that's that
because that's one of the non negotiables or her non
negotiable. She wants to have a baby within
a year or to start trying for a baby within a year or whatever
it is. But I was just like, I was just
seeing so much incongruence in their relationship, even though
they did seem to be into each other.
(37:44):
It's just these are these again,non negotiables that you can't
compromise on. If that's your life goal, that's
your life goal. They.
Totally need to be on the same page together completely because
with such a serious thing and with all of the distance between
them, it's essential. But I feel like Sarah's not the
(38:05):
only one who gets to say this really isn't going to work.
EJ can say it too. If he knows for sure that his
two year minimum timeline is theonly thing that he's going to
accept, then why not say to Sarah?
Look, we really don't match up on this and I can see how
(38:25):
important it is to you. So even though we may have
chemistry and we like each other, you should go look
elsewhere because he seems to bevery practical and yet these
words aren't coming out of his mouth.
And Sarah seems to be lost in fantasyland where she expects
everything is going to get answered now and everything is
(38:47):
going to get answered in the waythat she wants it to be
answered. And not just those answers, but
also reality and timelines and stuff.
Like what if she has fertility? Issues.
What if he does? Like there's just so many
different things that could happen and it's going to
compromise your timeline. You need to be a little more
(39:09):
flexible. I'm not saying flexible enough
to, you know, agree to be with someone who doesn't have the
same timeline for kids as you do, but at least be on the same
page as you said. Yeah.
And these two are definitely definitely not on the same page.
No, no they are not. And one of the things that could
bring them to the same page, which Sarah doesn't seem to
(39:29):
OfferUp, is that she has other options, which we discussed last
time, IVF. So freezing her eggs, surrogacy,
there are things she can do. She can have a baby on her own
without EJ. So if they were really, really
wanting to be in a relationship together, but this is the only
impediment, then you would thinkoptions would be placed on the
(39:50):
table. Maybe I can freeze some eggs and
then we'll see how our relationship goes.
And if in two years everything is going smoothly and your
business is taking off, then? Unfreeze the eggs and let's go.
They just don't seem to have anything that they can reach as
a middle ground. So to me, this is a done deal.
They're they're finished. There's no compromise.
(40:13):
There's no compromise that they can reach.
I haven't seen any longevity or any sign of longevity between
the two of them since they've started dating the other.
There's been some enjoyable bits.
Obviously they've enjoyed each other's time, but realistically
this relationship is not going to work.
Yeah, I agree. That is it.
Do you want to make final comments before we go I.
(40:34):
Am very much looking forward to interviewing Egypt on September
28th just to to get his insightsbecause obviously we've been
picking apart his relationship for the the last season.
I think it's going to be very exciting, although I'm not sure
I'm ready for this to end. Unlike 90 Day UK, I think this
(40:56):
one's going to be a lot more disappointing to see end.
Before we go, if you're enjoyingthe 90 Day Fiance Honestly
Podcast, please subscribe to or give our show a follow.
If you have an additional moment, please rate US and help
other 90 Day fans to find our show.
Thanks for listening. Thanks everyone.
See you next week.
Hi Amy. Hi V you are there OK good.
We just watched Match V Abroad Season 2 episode 13 which was
like a really long long episode it.
Seemed like it, very dramatic. Lots of things happened.
I couldn't believe how much theypacked into this single hour 45
minutes ish. It was jam packed full of drama
(00:25):
and. Stuff unexpected twists and
turns and questionable behaviors.
Are so questionable I need to give I was going to say
spanking, but no violence. So somebody needs a stern
talking to fair am I right? Yes, yes, you are right.
(00:45):
OK, before we jump in, let's talk about some comments that we
got from our listeners this pastweek.
Yes, ma'am. OK, here we go.
Kimberly Jo always a a favorite of ours.
Would you like to sponsor me on a trip to match me abroad?
You can help me choose and date.It would be so much fun.
I think that would be absolutelyphenomenal.
(01:07):
What do you think about becomingmatchmakers?
Dropping everything and just matching people for love.
I don't think I would be good atit.
Come on, Yes, you would. I, I don't know, like I'd like
to think that I'm a fairly good judge of character, but when it
comes to you know what I say this and yet my 2 best friends
(01:30):
are engaged and I've been tryingto set them up for years.
And OK, those three friends thatI have set up who were either
engaged and or married who were still together after 15 plus
years. Proven track record.
Damn it, beat that. You proved me wrong.
See, Maybe I would be OK at it. Do you think you'd be good at
(01:52):
it? I like to think so, yes, because
I love people in love and I liketo make people happy.
I do have a brain in my head. So you do.
That helps. You do.
I can confirm that, yes. I mean, I haven't seen it
myself, but I know that if you never.
Will God yes. So the only thing missing here
is an infinite source of cash from which we can actually
(02:16):
travel and bring Kimberly Jo along with us to Ireland or
wherever she desires to go to meet her beloved.
So one day we will summon her onour matchmaking journey.
Or maybe not, because who knows when those funds are going to
present themselves life. Has its twists and turns as we
discovered watching this episode.
(02:37):
You never know. All right, next somebody
commented from 2 episodes ago, episode 11.
Remember when Louisa went to thecafe and she was waiting for
Tony and we were a little bit concerned for her?
So we got this comment, which I'm not even sure if it showed
up on Spotify, which is where these are all coming from
(02:57):
because it was listed as inappropriate or sensitive.
But it's not this person. K Fox says even if she's
protected Louisa, it doesn't mean him.
What's his face attempting to attack or won't cause distress?
Absolutely. Not physically attacking her,
but verbally attacking her. Verbal violence is as insidious
(03:20):
as physical. Violence.
Absolutely agree, and especiallybecause she comes from, like she
said, one of her previous relationships.
She's dated a guy exactly like him.
Yeah. We don't need to expose her or
re traumatize her with that kindof behavior from that kind of
man. So I completely, completely
(03:40):
agree with that comment. As do I totally there's there's
more than one way to just cause distress in somebody that
doesn't have to involve using your body.
Next, our final comment. Where did it go to?
Also about episode 11 from Tweely, who says I very much
agree that this EJ might be a very nice man, but I'm also not
(04:03):
buying everything he is selling.Something about both of them
meaning him and Sarah feels off what she says she wants and her
actions do not totally match. I thought that about most of
these love seekers this season. I have been there too, so I
understand. Yeah.
I wonder where she thinks he's hiding.
(04:25):
Oh, well, we didn't really find out in this episode if there was
any other hidden agenda from EJ or Sarah, but I agree.
Like, you just don't know, really.
That's part of the problem of this show is that they don't
spend enough time together to get to know each other to that
extent. Yeah.
(04:45):
Anyway, anything further or shall we just dive right in?
Well, do you want me to make theannouncement now?
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Please announce.
We have scheduled an interview with EJ Phillip, the EJ who is
currently dating Sarah on Match Me Abroad.
(05:05):
This is going to be aired on September 28th, which is a
Sunday time to be determined, but it will be released on
September 28th. So yes, to our listeners.
We will be interviewing a man who is currently on Match Me
Abroad. This is going to be so
incredibly exciting, hopefully enlightening.
(05:29):
I've been excited about this forweeks now, so I'm glad I can
finally get it out there. Yeah, it's going to be
fantastic. I'm so excited to welcome EJ to
our podcast and to talk with himabout what his experience was
like on Match Me Abroad. We should mention that if any of
our listeners have any burning questions that they really want
answered by EJ, please send themto us.
(05:53):
Either send us a message on Spotify, leave a comment, leave
a message on Instagram, on Facebook, or you can get to us
via our Gmail, which is 90 day honestly@gmail.com.
And we cannot wait to have him here to see what he has to say
(06:13):
about Sarah Singapore, the show,the other people on the show.
So we'll go. To the party, it's getting
pretty long. I mean, we've been talking about
this for a while now. Yeah.
OK. Calm, calm, Amy, we have one
last piece of business to get tobefore we dive into the absolute
(06:37):
drama that was this week's episode.
And that's the 121 rate review and follow us wherever you
listen to the podcast to watch us on YouTube at 90 Day Fiance.
Honestly, let's get started in Ireland with both Amber and
Victoria on their double date. Imagine my surprise because I
wasn't watching, I was just listening.
(06:58):
I'm like, there's a lot more voices involved and they all
sound from. I was very confused.
OK. I thought it was cute that they
went on a double date. I thought it wasn't cute that
Amber chose Mr. Eyebrows as her date.
She is leaning towards Mr. Eyebrows as her final choice
unfortunately, and she tells us that she is about to put Keevan
(07:22):
into the friend zone and it was interesting to see and hear how
Victoria was picking up on what Glenn was putting out there.
Mr. Eyebrows is a show off, she says he's wearing more makeup
than Victoria is and he's borrowing Amber's makeup to
touch up his face. These are red flags to me, would
you not agree? I. 100% agree.
(07:44):
I just, I was about to say something and then all I could
see were his eyebrows and I can hear you just say Oh my God
those eyebrows. Yeah, that's my lack of thought.
Excellent. Well, Darren Victoria's date,
he's been invited to visit her in New York and he has accepted
the invitation. But the point at which he and
(08:06):
Victoria find themselves in their relationship, they do not
want to attach any labels to it.There's also not been any
kissing yet. Problematic, but I.
I think they said that from bothsides for both couples, right?
Glenn and Amber have kissed. They kissed on their very first
date. Well, they did OK Anyway, I was
just thinking about how, you know, Monica ends up making it
(08:30):
with everyone. The thing that they do have in
common, Amber and Victoria, is that they both don't want to
label their relationships, is that I think that's fair.
Because it's only been like a couple like a week or two or
yeah, a couple dates at least. And why do you need to have
that, that label, that definition?
(08:52):
What is what is that going to give you?
I mean, unless you're going to talk about being exclusive and
you know you're not going to seeanyone else.
Well, it's a sense of security, right?
Just like we see in Harold, who wants to lock it down with Amber
before he leaves Singapore. And even when we watch EJ and
Sarah, it seems like she wants to have some sort of commitment
from him before she leaves to goback to the States.
(09:12):
Everybody wants a label except for these two women.
I can see it from both sides is what I'm saying.
The problem seems to be though, that because Victoria and Darren
have not had any physical connection at all yet, there's
been no kissing. She's starting to clue into the
(09:34):
fact that maybe this is an indicator that their
relationship, quote unquotes, isnot stable enough to survive her
going back to New York, and maybe they need to get past that
barrier before she leaves if there is any chance for them to
have any future. Well, I think they need to talk
about the future before they caneven consider how they're going
(09:54):
to define it. Yeah, but it also helps if they
kiss first. That too, like, do you have that
sexual chemistry in addition to,you know, just the chemistry
with your personalities and energy?
I don't think they really do, I just see this as a friendship.
I see them as having a good buddy, old time together, but
(10:16):
not feeling a romantic connection at all.
Yeah. I just don't see any spark
between them when they're at this cooking date, which by the
way, fantastic idea cooking date.
Love that. And I don't, I don't feel like
they are leaning towards each other, brushing up against each
other. There's none of that going on at
(10:36):
all. It's just a couple of people
having fun and that's it. Bros being Bros.
If you like, sure. I don't know.
Anyway, dinner looked delicious,but I wondered where the salad
was as. Always.
So Mr. Eyebrows. He's talking about going to the
US to visit Amber. He seems raring to go.
(10:58):
Sure, I'll go. I've got a laptop, my business
is transportable, I can work from anywhere.
They ask if he would leave when she does which I guess is in the
a day or two and he says Yep I'll go right away see if things
work. I believe him to be completely
out of his mind and or just doing things for the camera.
It's all just lips, Orbis. Anyway, going back to that food,
(11:21):
was that a shepherd's pie? Was it a cottage pie because it
was made with beef and not lamb?I guess I I don't eat meat.
I don't know. I believe that's the
distinction. Shepherd's pie is made with
lamb. Cottage pie is made with
typically beef, but it could be any other kind of ground meat.
Correct me if I'm wrong listeners.
(11:43):
That's my understanding, sorry. And the bread.
Don't forget the Irish soda bread.
Oh, yeah. Yum, Yum, Yum.
All right. Does Amber have any doubts about
where she stands with Glenn? She says she doesn't want to
rush, but she also says that shethinks that Mister Eyebrows is
exactly what she needs. To which I say, excuse me.
(12:07):
Excuse me, Amber. Madam.
Very very sorry to interject. No, not in a million years.
Not the guy for you. When?
When are these women going to finally listen to the
matchmakers advice and choose the guy who is good for them?
Anyone, anyone? Yes, very much so.
(12:27):
And then they go out as a group together to a club.
But then things start to unravelfrom there.
This was a disaster. I did not understand what was
going on. It sounded so horrific,
especially for Amber. So she is with this group of
people, they're going out to a club, then she's all alone, her
(12:47):
date has gone, Victoria and Darren have disappeared, so she
makes her way back to her hotel after.
Texting him several times. She has before she left, Yes.
She just texted him both before she left and after she arrived
at her hotel. No response.
Then she sees on his social media that he's out partying and
(13:09):
he's posting pictures of himselfat other.
Clubs. What?
The thought process behind that is completely lost on me, she
said. She turned around and then he
was gone and he's. Oh, I was in the bathroom.
Yeah, but I texted you and I told you exactly where I was.
And then he responds back sayingwell I texted you 3 times and
(13:30):
she got all up in his business. I really appreciated the way
that she accosted him, pulls outher phone where where did you
send me these 3 messages? Because there are none.
And he didn't like that she called him out on his BS.
But his response was so triggering for me, just so
(13:51):
narcissistic, and I could feel my own blood boil.
So when she knocked the drink out of his hand and she even
knocked her own drink over, I mean, at that point flipped the
whole table over. But I was just so glad that she
got out of there. Absolutely.
I kind of want to dissect this bit by bit because it is such an
incredibly predictive pattern that narcissists exhibit.
(14:13):
So leaving aside the part where he just ditched her because he
wasn't finding her entertaining enough, obviously doesn't hold
himself accountable like a normal person would and respond
to her text or say are you OK? Did you get home all right?
I'm really sorry. None of that.
No, he cannot be wrong. That's a very key point.
(14:36):
He lies to her face when they'resitting down at the pub.
When it comes to talking about the text messages, he acts
confused. What are you talking about?
How you can't possibly know whatI was doing or thinking or what
my feelings were? Where does this come from?
As if your question yourself. Yes, making you think you're the
(14:59):
crazy one. He's very specifically trying to
rewrite history so that he appears to be the good guy and
she's the bad guy. He will not apologize.
No, no, no, not for anything. Then he tells her you need to
calm down love that you need to calm down.
When she tries to hold him responsible for his actions,
(15:23):
pulls out the proof as he's gaslighting her that she did not
text him, he brings out the big guns.
You need to calm down. Your emotions are out of
control. I'm the calm one here, but you
clearly are not. I love that.
And then the next one, self victimization.
You are insulting me. You're the one who's throwing
(15:44):
around these words. You're How dare you.
Me a liar. You're you're labeling my
behavior as a jerk. You're the one who's calling me
an asshole. You're the bad guy.
I'm the victim. Poor me, you insane woman coming
at me with your emotions. And meanwhile, this grin on his
(16:05):
face like he's won, like he's winning, like you are proving
every single point that I'm making.
Crazy lady who needs to calm down to the point where her
emotional response is now so high because she's being gaslit.
She's been labeled crazy. She has to calm down.
He's not admitting his any wrongdoing.
(16:28):
He's throwing everything back ather that she's trying to get a
response from him, and then she's smacks the drink out of
his hand, which obviously no condoning of violence.
That is not a good move. We don't condone.
That, nor do we condone. Alcohol abuse, absolutely.
Abuse of alcohol is terrible, whether it's in your body or on
(16:48):
the floor. But my consolation to Amber is
you have finally seen the truth about this man Hurrah.
Hooray. Finally.
Mr. Eyebrows can go to hell and enjoy his ride all the way down
there. But you know, he's going to
smile the entire time, of course, and he's going to be
(17:12):
that guy that's like, oh, this is fine.
What a shit pile. Yeah, and then it gets worse
because I mean with Amber. It gets worse with Amber.
How? What?
Because she left. She left with Darren and then
the next. What Victoria you're talking
about, Vic? Am I?
Yes. You know, I saw the name Amber,
(17:34):
but yet I said Vic. I'm just that's my ears.
It's my ears. Excuse me, It's my problem.
Am I talking about the right person?
Victoria Yes, you are. Please continue.
Anyway, things got worse for her.
My sweet girl. I don't remember how their night
ended, but no, he was supposed to come over for her last night.
(17:56):
He said I'll be there by such and such a time doesn't show up.
She messages him and then she gives up around 2.
AMI probably would have given upat 10:00 PM, if not earlier than
that because that is bedtime wasn't actively out doing
things. So she gave him more than
(18:16):
enough, and she's stuck at the hotel waiting to figure out
whether or not he's going to show up to drive her to the
airport. Now, did we not?
Did we not in the first instancewhere he didn't show up for
their date? Did we not see the irony here
and her being ghosted? Shoot, that was completely lost
(18:38):
on me. You're welcome.
Yeah, Oh my God, that's so funny.
Yeah, hilarious and awful at thesame time.
And now every time she looks that tattoo, she's going to
remember being ghosted. Yes, literally and figuratively.
I mean, hopefully not literally because that would mean death,
(18:59):
but you know what I mean. Figuratively and figuratively.
Like anyway, take my microphone away from me right now.
So Darren also seems to be a piez de meld just.
Running away? What is this?
What did they do? What did they drink?
What did they ingest? Both Darren and Glenn have gone
completely wild and turned into these massive assholes.
(19:23):
Yeah, I I wonder if there were drugs involved.
Party drugs. Maybe.
Maybe. My Lord just almost came out of
my mouth, but both of these guysdid the Irish goodbye.
I don't know that one. What's an Irish goodbye?
When you just don't say anythingand you peace out.
Is it really? Yeah.
(19:45):
That's a thing. Yeah, I did not know that.
OK, cool. Irish.
Goodbye. All right.
So same as ghosting. Yeah, yes, yes.
But anyway, with these two, justpeace.
I want to see the silver lining for both of them.
For Amber, I already said it's that she's found out what
(20:06):
Glenn's true character is. For Vic, I felt that it was more
along the lines of when she's talking about how she feels
about this and she's really upset because it's triggering
her emotionally and and historically because of her dad,
she's recognizing these patternsand she wants to share that
information with Darren, which Ithink is great because that's a
(20:29):
really good way for her to work through those patterns and
release them, to recognize them,to label them, to say I know
what this is and this is how youmade me feel.
I think that's wonderful. I think that is going to be an
incredible resolution for her and her relationship with Darren
to identify the behaviors, the patterns, to break the patterns,
(20:53):
to call them out when given the opportunity.
And then you can release it and heal because now you've called
it out, now you've broken that pattern.
I, I felt so empowered for her when she was packing and she was
getting so angry and she was explaining why she was so angry
(21:14):
and I felt so proud for her for finding her confidence to be
able to say, I want to say this to him.
He will not just leave me like this.
I will tell him how I feel. I loved that.
I love that too, but it's not just a let me dump this on him
and shower him with my anger. It's not that like she wants to
(21:37):
express herself. And she says she's open to
hearing what he thinks and how he feels and what he
experienced, what's been going on.
So I love that she's holding a space for him, even in the face
of her very heightened emotions.Yes.
That's fantastic. Very adult again.
(21:59):
Empowering, taking back that control while also still living
in your own character with your kindness and compassion.
Yeah, it's very beautiful. Very beautiful.
I'm going to cry. I mean, it sucks that either one
of these women had to go throughthat, though I'm very glad that
(22:19):
they did so that they were able to come to their own decisions,
growth. All about the growth.
Love that. Shall we read on?
My God. OK yeah.
Sorry to suck my notes. This is so annoying.
Monica. As expected, as predicted as we
knew she would, she second guesses herself into rejecting
(22:43):
Bruno and more than likely pursuing Bernardo again.
This, when she was talking aboutchoosing Bruno, I could hear it
in her voice, how noncommittal she was just so lacking
confidence and with remorse. I'm like, no woman, no, you're
(23:05):
not going to do this. No, you're not going to give up
this man who you admit checks every box and is the man that
you should be with. And yet at no point did you look
within yourself and think, why am I feeling so forlorn about
this man who doesn't meet any ofmy requirements?
(23:29):
There was no introspection. There was no nothing.
It was just her. Feeling her feeling OK now I
have to make a decision. My good Lord woman, you need so
much therapy. You need help.
And the fact that she called Bruno instead of calling Louisa.
I think even if she called Louisa she wouldn't listen to
her anyway because she doesn't listen to a damn thing that
(23:51):
Louisa has tried to tell her or guide her anything but.
As you're saying that, I'm thinking to myself, but isn't
this the trauma pattern that sheis in where she's used to the
men who treat her badly? That's what she complained about
when we first met her. I went back and I rewatched
episode 1 again today because I wanted to remind her myself of
(24:15):
how she positioned her desire for a future partner.
So she's used to men using her and casting her side very
easily, going on to the next one, the next one, the next 1.
And in Bruno, she breaks that pattern, which her brain, her
neurological pathways, her body is not used to, is not familiar
(24:39):
with, does not understand, and so she finds it boring and
lackluster and uninteresting. But when she has Bernardo, the
guy who puts her on an emotionalroller coaster so that she feels
fantastic and lustful one minuteand then like a pile of poop the
next, because he he backs out ontheir date, then her brain goes,
(25:03):
yes, oh, familiar pattern, yes. Comfort, ease.
This is what I'm used to. This is what I should be doing.
It's thriving in the chaos of familiarity.
Yeah, wow. But.
She completely talks herself outof having a relationship with
Bruno, even though they had thatromantic date on the beach that
we saw a little tiny clip of where he's talking about how he
(25:24):
would love to come to the Statesand meet her daughter, which is
a dagger to the heart. Like he's so sweet and perfect.
And she runs away from that. She runs away from a real chance
to find love. This is self sabotage to the NTH
degree. Yeah, I just, I felt so bad for
Bruno. He just, he deserves so much
(25:46):
more. Yes.
I'm just, I'm glad that he didn't sit there and robble too
much. I mean, he did a bit, but tried
to challenge her, her decision. But she was she was having none
of it. And that reminds me of after her
first date with Bruno, how she called Bernardo bawling her eyes
out about how she feels like shecheated on him, like she was so
(26:06):
emotionally invested in him fromthe very beginning.
And I think Louise's test of, you know, throw the man who you
would typically go for first before the man who you should
probably be with. I think that Monica just she
just allowed that to blow up in her face.
(26:27):
She didn't listen to any of the lessons.
She hasn't grown in any capacity.
I find it just remarkable when she says I'm I'm making these
logic based decisions. This is my new pattern.
I've always been emotionally driven and I've always gone with
my heart and my gut, but now I'mmaking a sensible choice by
(26:48):
thinking about this rationally. I'm like, girl, opposite,
opposite. No, no, no.
You're doing the same thing. Now she's making this decision
based on a trauma bond or bond with the trauma.
Response and then I thought likeyou did it would have been so
great if she had spoken with Louisa first because Louisa
(27:10):
would have been able to step outside the emotion and say to
her, look, do you really think in this moment that Bernardo was
thinking about you the way that you're thinking about him
Honestly, keep pining for you heprobably.
Forgot about her the second thathe left that meeting.
Yep. The second that he left the
meeting where he showed absolutely 0 interest and 0
(27:33):
effort in trying to win her. Meh, such a disappointment.
I don't know is there? There's not going to be a tell
all for this, is there? No, there, there isn't typically
a tell all anyway. The way she explains I'm not
right for you, Well, she is right about that because she
can't appreciate Bruno. She can't see him for what he
(27:54):
is. And my gosh, he deserves better
than that. That's exactly what I was going
to say. He deserves so much more.
He just seems like such a kind man and I love.
Also the way that Bruno showed so much emotion when she finally
said that she was breaking up with him, in stark contrast to
the show we did yesterday where we were talking about Abraham
(28:16):
and Xena and how she broke up with him.
They were fianceed at the time supposedly and he did not shed a
tear. Like this is a true emotional
reaction to being broken up withwhat we saw on 90 Day UK.
Not emotional, not invested. Bruno was in this.
(28:37):
He had set his heart in her hands and she's mushed.
It great comparison. So it's clear what's next, she's
going to try to win Bernardo back the Classic.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Wanting what you can't have, never satisfied with what's in
front of you. My prediction is they're going
to hook up, she's going to leave, he's going to string her
(29:00):
along for a bit, and then he's also going to ghost her because
he is, he has no use for her when she's not there.
Yeah, yeah, OK. Self fulfilling prophecy right
there. Way to go, Monica.
Woo Hoo. Way to learn nothing.
Yay. And you know what really touched
me the most about watching re watching episode 1 was the parts
(29:22):
where her daughter was talking about how she so much wants her
mom to find love because she canno longer be her emotional
support person. Yes, Mom.
Is depending on her daughter toomuch to the point where it seems
like the daughter's not really able to go out and flourish and
have her own life, and Monica isdraining her emotionally the way
(29:46):
a parent should not interfere intheir child's life.
So I feel even more sad for the daughter knowing that this has
happened. Monica's completely gone off the
rails, or stayed on the rails ifyou like, following her same
patterns and thrown away this giant opportunity to meet
somebody. Fantastic.
(30:07):
She's just a disappointment. Let us read on, because Harold
does not disappoint, does he? Harold does not.
You know, I love when he's talking to Amber and then he
has, like, his super serious face and then he's like, huh.
And then he's, like, reminding himself to smile and then back
to being serious so that he can actively listen to her.
(30:28):
Yeah. He's just.
He's so cute. I love him so much and I love
this Amber. I want to say yes.
Yeah, they're both very, very sweet and lovable.
The idea of Roma, romantic cruise, beautiful, fantastic
idea. This is heart melting stuff.
And I love the mathematical approach that he took to
(30:51):
choosing this as the format for his last date, you know,
weighing his odds for having hadsuch great dates on boats
before. So he wants to continue that
success arc. That was just so cute.
I love the idea of having dinneron the boat.
I didn't look like it was too busy.
You know, they didn't have to yell over anyone else, which
(31:12):
they probably wouldn't have, youknow, filming.
But it just the two of them thatI just, I love the way that they
communicate with each other, howthey both listen.
I think Amber looked absolutely phenomenal.
I don't know if she did something with her hair or if it
was her dress, but she just, shelooked so beautiful.
And I thought it was so heartwarming, you know, her
(31:33):
sharing that, you know, he askedabout her friend Joe.
And just like, oh, she's good. And I think that you would
really get along with all of my friends.
And, you know, I hope that I would get along well with yours.
And they talked about, like, mashing the friendships.
And I can't imagine how big of arelief that would have been for
Harold to hear because he was really worried about meeting
(31:56):
her, Joe. I mean, yes, I thought it was
just so, so adorable. And then they had they had a
couple little joke things. I agree.
I love the joking around. We see this with the couples
that really get along together, that have actual chemistry, that
(32:16):
there's a lot of witty repartee,there's little pokes and prods
at each other to tease one another, and even Amber admits
we have really good chemistry together.
And I was like wow, love that. Amazing.
Excellent. But Harold has to tell her, in
the way that Dolly suggested, soas not to scare Amber away, that
(32:40):
he's planning to spend more timein Singapore because he has
decided to do that. And he doesn't quite get it
right. He says I'd like to spend more
time in Singapore with you. Yes.
Whoopsie. Yeah.
And. Then we don't get to see her
response. So now we're going to have to
wait until next week. I'm really hoping that this
(33:01):
doesn't blow up the way that we've seen the other couples.
Yes, in this episode. But I wanted to make mention of,
you know, when they were talkingabout their experience together,
how that it was like an intensive dating camp.
And then Harold says something to the effect of, you know,
(33:21):
there's been lots of laughs and tears.
Amber was like, whoa, wait, no, we haven't had any tears, unless
you mean tears of perspiration. Yes, like they they were just so
rich with one liners on this one.
I thought it was just. Again.
It's Harold. It's just a joy.
I love. I love watching the two of them.
(33:43):
Yeah, there there's no anguish watching Harold and his dates as
there is with Monica who's making stupid choices or with
the 2 ladies in Ireland who are dating stupid men.
It's pure joy and I love it and I want more.
Me too, me too. I mean now he's been on two
(34:04):
seasons fully, he doesn't have to be on 1/3 unless it's like
match. Be abroad happily ever after.
Shall we read on? Yes, because now we get to talk
about Sarah and EJ. They have their final date.
This is the eve of her going back to the United States.
They're going to go have dinner together at what seems to be a
(34:26):
very lovely restaurant. And Sarah is really feeling EJ.
You can see it. She's into him the way that.
She looks at him. Yeah, she wants to lock it down.
So she wants to have her answers, especially with regards
to the two year plan that EJ hasversus her one year plan for
(34:46):
children. But first, does he want to go to
the US? And his response, I was like not
buying this. He does not seem enthusiastic.
If, if I was to be completely honest, I would say that he was
just stringing her along for this.
He doesn't want to go to the States because you don't say,
oh, I'm going to wear a cowboy hat or go to the rodeo.
No, don't you? I don't.
(35:10):
I would have thought a more appropriate response would be I
can't wait to see you in your hometown on your home turf.
OK, I don't. Know Did you think it was
genuine? I think I was more focused on
everything else that came out ofher mouth and not so much his
response because I think I've already decided in my head that
(35:31):
they're not a thing because she starts going on about how she's
second guessing the the long distance.
Yes. Well, why didn't you think about
that before you decided to matchwith a man in Singapore?
He's in Singapore. How many times have I said that
(35:51):
this week she chose to go there.I assume that that was her
choice. And like, why is this a thing
now? And I, I think that EJ was being
really realistic about his, his timeline.
And I really don't think that compromising on a timeline to
have kids is really, I mean, it doesn't always work out the
(36:15):
greatest. I can understand why she wants
to, to push for it to be sooner because she is in her late 30s.
EJ is what, 44? He's in his early fees and he
doesn't have that timeline. So do you really want someone
just to be like, OK, yeah, I'll have kids with you in the next
(36:38):
year and then keep stringing youalong of.
Course not, no. Why don't you find someone who
wants to have kids within your timeline, but also give yourself
the space to, you know, establish your relationship
before you immediately jump intoparenthood together?
Like, that's a huge decision. Is a year enough time to really
(36:59):
know someone not to have a baby with them?
I mean, it happens all the time.But like, depends on the people.
Because if it was Ara and Andy from, again, 90 Day UK, great,
Terrific. They've only been together for a
few months and they're already married and everything is
fantastic. It really depends on the people,
yeah. I just, I, I think that, you
know, having kids is a huge decision.
(37:22):
And if she can't accept his timeline, then that's that
because that's one of the non negotiables or her non
negotiable. She wants to have a baby within
a year or to start trying for a baby within a year or whatever
it is. But I was just like, I was just
seeing so much incongruence in their relationship, even though
they did seem to be into each other.
(37:44):
It's just these are these again,non negotiables that you can't
compromise on. If that's your life goal, that's
your life goal. They.
Totally need to be on the same page together completely because
with such a serious thing and with all of the distance between
them, it's essential. But I feel like Sarah's not the
(38:05):
only one who gets to say this really isn't going to work.
EJ can say it too. If he knows for sure that his
two year minimum timeline is theonly thing that he's going to
accept, then why not say to Sarah?
Look, we really don't match up on this and I can see how
(38:25):
important it is to you. So even though we may have
chemistry and we like each other, you should go look
elsewhere because he seems to bevery practical and yet these
words aren't coming out of his mouth.
And Sarah seems to be lost in fantasyland where she expects
everything is going to get answered now and everything is
(38:47):
going to get answered in the waythat she wants it to be
answered. And not just those answers, but
also reality and timelines and stuff.
Like what if she has fertility? Issues.
What if he does? Like there's just so many
different things that could happen and it's going to
compromise your timeline. You need to be a little more
(39:09):
flexible. I'm not saying flexible enough
to, you know, agree to be with someone who doesn't have the
same timeline for kids as you do, but at least be on the same
page as you said. Yeah.
And these two are definitely definitely not on the same page.
No, no they are not. And one of the things that could
bring them to the same page, which Sarah doesn't seem to
(39:29):
OfferUp, is that she has other options, which we discussed last
time, IVF. So freezing her eggs, surrogacy,
there are things she can do. She can have a baby on her own
without EJ. So if they were really, really
wanting to be in a relationship together, but this is the only
impediment, then you would thinkoptions would be placed on the
(39:50):
table. Maybe I can freeze some eggs and
then we'll see how our relationship goes.
And if in two years everything is going smoothly and your
business is taking off, then? Unfreeze the eggs and let's go.
They just don't seem to have anything that they can reach as
a middle ground. So to me, this is a done deal.
They're they're finished. There's no compromise.
(40:13):
There's no compromise that they can reach.
I haven't seen any longevity or any sign of longevity between
the two of them since they've started dating the other.
There's been some enjoyable bits.
Obviously they've enjoyed each other's time, but realistically
this relationship is not going to work.
Yeah, I agree. That is it.
Do you want to make final comments before we go I.
(40:34):
Am very much looking forward to interviewing Egypt on September
28th just to to get his insightsbecause obviously we've been
picking apart his relationship for the the last season.
I think it's going to be very exciting, although I'm not sure
I'm ready for this to end. Unlike 90 Day UK, I think this
(40:56):
one's going to be a lot more disappointing to see end.
Before we go, if you're enjoyingthe 90 Day Fiance Honestly
Podcast, please subscribe to or give our show a follow.
If you have an additional moment, please rate US and help
other 90 Day fans to find our show.
Thanks for listening. Thanks everyone.
See you next week.
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