August 18, 2025 • 38 mins
Andy proposes to Arrah. Zena and Ebrima talk about compromises after another day apart. Ali’s evil plan is put into action when Sam arrives in Turkey. Phin welcomes Sandra to the UK and tries to share some typical English food and activities with her.
Watch the full podcast on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@90dayfiancehonestly
https://90dayhonestly.wixsite.com/90dayfiancehonestly
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, Amy, I'm B. Yesterday we watched Nighty Day
Fiance UK season 4 episode 8. I'm just going to start please.
Before we begin the show, let meremind you one rate review.
Follow us wherever you listen tothe podcast. 2 Watch the podcast
if you prefer on YouTube at Nighty Day Fiance.
Honestly, shall we dive right in?
(00:21):
You already? Said we were going to OK.
Good. It's just a game.
Let's go Andrew and Ara Ara. Oh my God, I'm still not able to
say that. How many years will it take me?
How many episodes do I have to watch before I finally figure it
out? Just ignore.
At least. The proposal, The proposal
scene. What did you think?
What a roller coaster. The proposal was a roller
(00:43):
coaster. For the leading up to it, I was
really surprised that he had theballs.
I was going to say audacity, butthe balls to propose to her in
front of her family. I was so elated that she said
yes because we know how I feel about him.
I think he's absolutely wonderful, even though I think
that he's acting a little impulsively and he even said
(01:06):
it's moving so fast, but it feels so right.
And I say good for them. I'm so glad that she said yes.
Whether or not this sticks, I don't know.
I'm. Also very happy that she agreed
to the marriage. I thought there was a moment
when she would say no or say notnow, maybe later, but I guess
that he wasn't scared of her saying no after all.
(01:29):
And she says she's never going to regret saying yes, which was
a beautiful sentiment. So loving you, what you no not
happy about that? What she said.
I will never regret saying yes to him this night.
And I said, Lord, I hope not. I thought it was beautiful,
lovely, romantic time for both of them, captured wonderfully.
(01:53):
I totally believed it. I believe that they both have
feelings for one another. I believe that there is love
between them. So what more can you ask for,
really? How about a timeline?
OK, so yes, we do still want to know exactly how much time has
elapsed between when he met her online, when he went there and
how long they've been together. But when he goes back to the UK,
(02:15):
things are not so happy. And I was so sad for him.
He tells his friend about he's gotten engaged.
She's a little bit shocked. She seems not that pleased.
But he went to the Philippines. Apparently she didn't know, and
I wondered if this was a production plant, though her
reaction seemed to be authentic.Yeah, I I didn't feel like it
(02:40):
was a plant at all. I felt like it.
Was real. Well, no, but her response was,
I didn't know you went to the Philippines and Oh my God, now
you're engaged. How is this his?
One of his best friends and she doesn't know how close is he
with his best friends that theseare.
But this is a shocking revelation.
Well, I think he's probably beenkeeping a secret.
(03:00):
We saw him reveal the secret that he was dating Ara to one of
his. I think it was his workmate or
his friend at the beginning, andthey're all being surprised.
I'm not shocked that he would keep it a secret.
It is so far away, such an unknown.
Are you really going to meet this person?
He didn't even know if she really existed, even though he
(03:20):
talked to her on video chat, if she would show up there.
All of these questions would make it a situation where you
don't want to necessarily tell everybody in case it does go
terribly, terribly awry and you end up with egg on your face.
So I can see him not telling everybody.
I don't know, just it bothered like I've never been in a
(03:40):
situation where I have just not told my friends about people
that I'm seeing and my first love I met online and we're
talking way back in the day. I'm not aging myself, but I'm
also aging myself at the same time.
Well, if there was online datingwhen you were dating this love
of your life, then that's not sovery long ago because I was
(04:01):
dating before there was any Internet, I did as.
Well, however, it's just OK, worked out.
But anyway, I thought it was interesting that he said that
they're going to get married in the Philippines.
Yeah, because it's illegal to get divorced.
Yes. I thought that this was
(04:22):
interesting. It's.
I didn't. Think it was so much they're
going to get married there because it's illegal for anybody
to get divorced. It is illegal for a Filipino
citizen to get divorced in the Philippines.
So I think she can get married wherever she could get married
in the UK. But the fact is, if she lived,
if they lived in the Philippines, they would not be
allowed to be divorced. Thank you for clarifying.
(04:43):
However, he can always move backto the UK and apply for a
divorce and I say this knowing that my brother in law's parents
are divorced and they're. Filipino.
Interesting. OK, so it is possible but likely
that you can't be in the Philippines.
In order to obtain the divorce, you have to be a resident, at
least if somewhere else. Yes, did.
(05:06):
I did not know that he was Catholic, so that was another
new bit of information. Oh, I didn't catch.
That. But because they're both
Catholic, they the Philippines is a predominantly Catholic
country. And that is why, as he
explained, as in Vatican City, there is no divorce permitted,
only annulments. Next step for Andy is that the
(05:26):
wedding date is set and then he goes to tell his dad.
Dad does not have a very happy, welcoming, joyous reaction to
this news. Granted, the wedding is going to
be in two months from now, so that is very, a very short
amount of time for anybody to get ready.
Especially when Andy is asking both his mom and his dad to come
(05:47):
to the Philippines to be presentat the wedding.
That's a huge ask. But from bad expression, I would
have said that the dad was not all that happy to hear that Andy
was getting married to Ara. Well, not just that.
And then when he told them the date, it was, oh, let me let me
check my schedule. Oh, I have an appointment at the
hospital. I can't, I can't reschedule this
(06:08):
appointment at the hospital. And your mom can't travel alone
even like why can't she travel with Andy to the Philippines so
she wouldn't be traveling alone?But I think that was him
essentially saying that we don'taccept this.
Yeah. And I thought that was really
sad, though. I also, I felt like that was an
opportunity for Andy to realize how impulsive he's being about
(06:33):
this. But he didn't see it that way.
He just saw it as I have no one here to support me.
Well, Sir, if no one is there tosupport you, maybe you need to
look at the decision that you'vejust made.
Why is everyone taking this position?
And also, why did Ara book the venue without okaying the date
with him? Or did he just say whenever you
(06:55):
book it without talking to the people who actually matter to
see whether or not they can or would attend, is it because they
can't make it for the date or because they won't be there?
I have a feeling that there are so many missing pieces to this
storyline because if we did havethe pieces, we would be either
so shocked or bored that we wouldn't want to watch.
(07:17):
Do you know what I mean? Either these guys have really
not been dating for long at all and it's a completely absurd
storyline of them getting together and getting married in
such a short space of time. Or it's just like, it's not
really enough of a story. So let's leave all these details
out and try to make it seem as if it's shocking that they've
been together for a very short period of time or that his
(07:41):
parents aren't going to attend the wedding.
I just feel like there's a lot of information missing.
We're getting half a picture. And I feel like when 90 Day
first started, they used to havethe two names together for so
and so amount of time and the fact that we are still insured
between the two of us at least. And I mean, I've tried to look
(08:04):
it up and I can't find it. How short of time has it been?
Is this part of their storyline?Because they both said, you
know, it's only been a short amount of time, but how much is
a short amount of time? Because that's subjective.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, who knows?
I don't. I have, I have no other notes
for them because their segments were incredibly brief.
Let's move on to Xena and Ibrahim.
(08:25):
Xena has been scolded by Ibrahim.
She's ready to clap. This is about the dancing where
he pulled her away, told her herboobs were hanging out of her
shirt and shouldn't be drinking,et cetera, et cetera.
And so she gets upset and she wants to fight.
Back she seems a lot more sober when they have this conversation
that when she hadn't was pulled away from the beach yes so.
(08:47):
This is the perfect time for Xena to bring up the fact that
not only does she know that he has social media presence on
Facebook, but that she has in fact gone through his friends
list and there are all of these scantily clad women in the
friends list. So she confronts him with that,
and what do you know? He breaks down, tells her the
truth, and the story is over because he's got three wives and
(09:09):
five children already. I got.
It that you're being serious, I was like watching the same show.
I think the argument was so ridiculous.
The smug look on his face was soirritating, she was like bowing
down to him without physically doing so.
(09:29):
He says it's the first time he'sever seen these women, right?
Yeah, sure, we believe that. And Xena plays so dumb like she
just goes along with whatever hesays no matter how stupid and
outrageous it is. OK let me say I don't appreciate
the fact that she was so derogatory towards the other
women that were on his Facebook though.
(09:51):
That's your profile picture. Questionable.
I just. I didn't like it that she kept
calling them whores and prostitutes and whatever.
I thought that was just classless, but what if?
They were prostitutes. There are prostitutes.
There's nothing wrong with beinga prostitute.
Is the only option you have or you want to?
Not what I'm saying, You know what I'm saying anyway.
(10:12):
And then when he shows up, he makes this grand gesture, which
we've seen before that has gone over so well.
He picked wildflowers along the way.
Hello, Rob. OK, back up the second though,
because when they're in this fight and she's saying who are
these women? He says, oh, I have no clue.
I've never seen them before. He's also threatening to leave
(10:36):
her if she doesn't wear more modest clothing and stop
drinking. Even though.
She's supposedly, she's supposedly in the position of
power because she's bringing up these talks to him that she's
discovered and he should be defending himself.
He not only says. I don't know who.
Are those women? I don't know who they are.
You need to change your behavior.
(10:58):
You need to change how you live your life because I don't accept
it and I will leave if you don't.
Red freaking flag. Xena Run.
Sir, shut the F up please and also remember how much I loved
Xena at the beginning and now tosee her just bow down to his
every whim is so disappointing. Oh my God, he was so honest with
(11:20):
me. He doesn't know any of these
women. No one.
No one who's watching this sees what you see.
They see you as an easy target. You're going to continue to give
him money. He's going to continue to play
you with that smug friggin face.Drives me nuts.
Yes, the one thing that I was pleased to see Xena do was that
(11:43):
after this confrontations, she says OK, you need to leave, we
need to have some time alone now, so you go off and do your
thing. I'm glad she does that.
I'm glad she takes the time to allow them to separate and to
think about things on their own.However, she has just displayed
all of her cards to him now. He has all of the information
(12:04):
that she brought to the table inorder to try to trip him up to
figure out what was really goinggoing on.
And now he has the time that he needs to compile his stupid
little arguments to refute her claims about what he may or may
not be doing in the background That is wrong.
So in other words, he's got timeto build a story to make his lie
(12:25):
even stronger. Yeah.
She gave him too much power at that point.
And on top of that, this time alone for Xena always has the
same effect. The time she spends apart from
Ibrahim makes her miss him more.Makes her realize how lonely she
is so that she's willing to accept and forgive and just lay
(12:45):
down on the road so he can walk all over her once more.
And then she calls her granddaughter Tilly, sweet,
emotionally intelligent Tilly. She keeps calling him out,
saying, do you really think thathe's doing this For these
reasons, blah, blah, blah. And then Zena keeps making
excuses. Well, it's just as religion.
It's just as culture. I call bullshit.
(13:07):
The guy is just a piece of shit.And then Tilly says she needs to
set boundaries, even though the boundaries are not part of his
culture, compromises are not part of his culture is, you
know, used to being dominant andcalling all of the shots.
So what is Zena actually going to be able to accomplish by
trying to set these boundaries with him?
(13:28):
And then we had that individual interview with Ibrahim, and I
think they asked him, do you really love her?
He's like, yeah, I really love her.
And then he his eyes darted awayfrom the camera.
And we all know that indicates that you're lying.
If you can't hold eye contact when you're saying something,
(13:50):
that means that you're lying. I think he's absolutely full of
shit. And I think that she's falling
into everything that he's playing.
And he must have a masterful thing between his legs because
that's the only thing that I canthink that would encapsulate her
so much. Either that and or the
loneliness because they're both as impactful.
Yeah, well, it it really is the loneliness from my perspective
(14:12):
because she says a couple of things that were so, so
tragically sad, she said. She said that she thinks that
this is her last chance for lovewith Ibrahim, which I believe to
be the real reason why she continues to make apologies for
him and gloss over all of his lies, sweep everything under the
carpet. And then she also says Ibrahim
(14:32):
is her true love. What, This guy is your true love
who tells you just up drinking to stop doing the things you
like, like dancing. And been together for two years.
How many times has she been there to visit him, and how many
times has he tried to correct her?
Amusing air quotations, Yeah. Like.
(14:52):
What what in the actual app is this?
It's so, so sad. I was very frustrated watching
this because we're seeing this pattern so deeply ingrained in
Xena, where she deludes herself,She pulls the wool over her own
eyes, and Ibrahim basically doesn't have to do it.
She will do it for him. He just has to sit there with
(15:14):
that stupid friggin smug look onhis face.
And then we see the same pattern.
So she sends him away. She misses him, she forgives
him, she takes him back. She forgets all about the past
stuff. No more red flags there.
They're all green. Assures, you know, whatever.
And then she goes ahead and starts trying to buy him back.
So they go shopping and I thought, wow, OK, is Abraham
(15:36):
actually going to buy her a little something?
I know he doesn't have a lot of money, but maybe he could buy
her a little trinket of some kind.
A little thing, no? No, this is Robin Sophie, but in
completely different cultures. It's sick and the opposite age
thing. But she's all he knows.
I love shopping, so he takes hershopping where she.
I just thought it was so gross. You know her buying random but
(15:59):
she doesn't need and oh this is cute, oh this is cute and then
when she does that dance thing. He was laughing at her.
He was laughing openly. Everyone was laughing at her and
she took it as everyone thought that we were having a good time.
Yep, she thinks that he enjoyed her dancing.
(16:20):
He was getting a thrill out of watching his woman dance for a
change and this was wonderful. She thought it was fantastic.
She was happy that he was watching her, and yet he was so
clearly making fun of her. They were all relishing in the
fact that he was using her. This is another, another victim.
(16:41):
He's going to get his money. He's going to get what he wants.
Let's all just placate her. It was sad.
I feel so bad for her. And you know how much I loved
her at the very beginning and now it's just wow, I was so
wrong. How different a picture we have
now of Xena and of Abraham, whattheir relationship is like.
(17:03):
The tragedy of this particular episode doesn't end there,
though. It doesn't end with the drum
dancing, because afterwards she wants to set boundaries with
him, but she does not understandthe concept because she allows
him to make up all the rules. She's not allowed to get drunk
anymore. She's not allowed to make a fool
of herself anymore, whatever that means.
(17:24):
So she has to reduce her alcoholconsumption.
And he's the one who's making the rules.
Xena, it's not you. That is not a compromise.
That is not you setting a boundary.
They're. All her, all of his quote UN
quote compromises are her compromising for him.
At which point is he compromising?
(17:45):
She can wear these things, but only in private.
Not only that, but she can only dance for him in private while
wearing these things, and she's the one who's setting this up
because she is trying to make itas exciting and as entertaining
a moment. I guess you might want to say
for herself as possible too. So, OK, you want me to dance?
(18:06):
OK, I'll dance for you. Would you like me to wear
leisure? Yeah.
OK, great. So maybe it'll be this sexy
little thing where I'm dancing for you wearing something really
Lacy or whatever. And she keeps asking him for
confirmation, for approval of her being sexy, of her being
attractive to him. It's the the opposite of a
(18:26):
mating dance. It's absolutely pitiful to watch
her a base herself like this forthis man who is doing nothing
but lie to her. And she is.
Trying to take her money. So hard to twist herself into
knots to be the kind of woman that he would like.
There's nothing she can do. He is a butt head.
(18:49):
He is a jerk, he is likely married to somebody else in this
moment, likely has children withother women, and is definitely
using her for her money at best.And that smug look on his face.
You've mentioned that once or twice.
Can we please move on? Yes, maybe not.
(19:10):
Yeah, I was just going to say I don't think you're going to be
too happy about who's next. It's Sam and Allie.
So they're reuniting after they're five months apart in
Turkey. Sam is coming to visit Ali.
He does not bring flowers for. Her he forgot.
And I wrote down why would she be mad about that?
What's the big deal if he bringsyou flowers or not?
(19:33):
But wow, I guess some people really need flowers when they
get greeted at an airport maybe.It's because that's the most
minimal amount of effort that heever puts into the relationship
is when she arrives and he brings flowers.
Right from the start, things do not go well between them.
I think they're going to be the confrontation couple of this
(19:53):
season. I think that that's just the
most BS couple of the season. We didn't need to see them
before and we don't need to see them again.
And I hate the fact that they are on my my screen.
Right away we see them get into the van after he's picked us,
picked her up flourless, and she's anxious.
She wants to start getting readyto make plans, to start thinking
about apartments and how things are going to be, what the living
(20:15):
situation is going to be like. And he just wants to go to
sleep. OK, so this is step one of the
Master evil plan. Great also tells her to relax
and because husband, I will showyou but you're not going to like
it for being so young and so stupid.
(20:38):
He is legit playing right into her.
Like he knows her so well that he can play her cards for her.
Is that? Is that the term?
I don't know? I don't know.
Anyway, he knows how she works, he knows what to do, he knows
what to say to get her to be complacent with his plan.
(21:02):
And his quote UN quote evil planis for him to move to the UK and
for him to foul any kind of ideathat she wants to live in
Turkey. And this was so friggin painful
to watch. Well, before we get to the
market day fiasco, which was somewhat entertaining, there was
the moment when they were with the family.
(21:23):
Now she's tried to learn a little bit of Turkish so that
she can communicate with them. It's not a whole lot, so she
quickly gets lost. That's understandable.
But I was thinking, OK, why isn't he translating anything
for her? He just sits back and it's
silenced. Crickets.
Because nobody can speak to the other person.
They can't communicate with her.She can't communicate with them.
(21:43):
Where's your app? Where's your phone?
Can you not get something so that you can have a few
sentences of what you'd like to do while you're there?
And also, why is your partner your husband?
Because now they're married. Why isn't he translating for
you? Why isn't he helping?
Oh no, because he wants to make her feel so much more
(22:03):
uncomfortable, to make life in turkeys that much more
inhabitable. Uninhabitable.
Is that what did I? Say inhabitable.
The idea is to make it uninhabitable so that she
doesn't want to stay there. Thank you for that
clarification. He's definitely achieving his
goal. I have to give him props for the
efficacy of his master plan Evilplan.
(22:25):
It's working well. And he says that evil plans
always work great. Especially when they go to the
market, things progress very, very well for Ali, for Ali.
He planned it out so well, he even said in the last episode
that they were in that he was only going to take her to the
shitty markets. I mean, he for the specific 1 he
(22:48):
takes her to the market. That's like all the chilies and
the fresh fish and like the off meat cuts or whatever.
And then he. Makes her try.
Chilies makes fun of her when it's too hot that this was.
Enjoyable, you have to admit. Did you not laugh when she tried
(23:09):
the chilies? I couldn't.
Oh. I was so sidetracked by, I don't
think that's the right word, buthis bullshit, his face, his
maybe it was also his smugness. Be like, yeah, you hate that,
don't you? Like he was getting off on this
(23:29):
shit. Like, yeah, you hate this so
much, you want to go back to theUK.
Don't you just like, oh, yeah, Iwant to go home.
I want to go home. He's like, hey, let's see how
you do. Like, let me show you more.
And then it's like, let me show you the fresh fish gills.
Yeah, you like that? Yeah, let me grab one on my.
Like he was getting off on this whole thing and it was almost
(23:49):
like we were being introduced toa new kink unwillingly and I
didn't like it. OK, well, I I got a little bit
of joy out of it because I saw how Sam was suffering through
these experiences, whether or not it was made-up for the
camera. Don't get me wrong, I like to
see her suffering, but I didn't like to see his.
Joy. OK, but when she's squirming at
(24:10):
the goat head and and of course of the fish and then having her
tongue burned by the hot chiliesand then explaining that the
only seasoning that she ever uses are salt and pepper, I'm
just like, OK, so maybe she doesleave a little bit of a
sheltered life. But I mean, who doesn't know
where food comes from? Who doesn't know that?
(24:30):
The reality is there are heads and feet attached to these
animals that you eat. OK, two things.
One, has she ever had freshly ground pepper?
Because that is far superior to the powdered shit that you get.
And two, how much is she like Nicole?
Which Nicole Mahmoud and Nicole.No, the 55% Nicole, the larger
(24:53):
woman who had that beautiful child who went to the Middle
East and they went to go on the camel ride and almost there.
Lazy that one. God they were so enjoyable but
also awful. At the same time and she only
ever ate French fries or something.
Yeah, that one. Yes, OK.
Anyway, just Sam seems naive, very naive.
(25:17):
Ali's taking advantage of that and of her.
I think he'll succeed. I think so as well.
I think that his quote UN quote evil plan that he says evil
genius plans always work. But.
I think that he might actually be successful, and I wonder why.
Yeah. I have no answer.
(25:38):
I don't know and I don't care. I don't.
Let's read on. Finn and Sandra are up next.
Hurrah. He's been back in the UK for
four months when we first see him and Sandra is coming over
there yet. My Lord, I feel like this is a
production plant. Not her coming over but him
trying to convince her to come over.
You think she's going to bring her two kids who apparently
(26:01):
still have an active father thatwe found out, and she's going to
leave her 8 or 9? Siblings.
Yeah, exactly, I wrote. Dream on, you.
Have a cat? There is no way in hell that
this would ever work. And yes, I tend to think that
production is just encouraging him to follow this storyline.
Because what sane person would think that it's at all
(26:21):
reasonable for her to bring her children out of the environment?
Not just the fact that their dadis still in Brazil, but her
whole family, so all of their nieces and nephews and aunts and
uncles and everybody that they've known throughout their.
Entire lives that you grew up with in an orphanage.
With her, hers. But the kids.
I'm talking about the kids. And why?
(26:42):
She would take the kids, kids away from that environment of
safety and comfort that they've known throughout their entire
lives and the school and everything so that they could go
live in England. No, that is not going to happen.
The weather, hello. For one thing, yucky in the UK
most of the time, not all the time.
So yeah, Finn does not really believe this, that he can do
(27:03):
this, does he? No, I think this is definitely a
plant. There's no way that this is
going to be a thing, especially because in the last couple
episodes, or like especially right before he laughed, he was
like this going to be be a make it or break it as to whether or
not I moved there and now I was an oh, no, maybe she's going to
move here. No, she's not going to move
(27:23):
there. Her entire family, which is a
lot bigger than yours that she has a massive connection with.
She's not going to leave it for you.
And this is where the other interesting little tidbit comes
up for us, which is that we findout Sandra's sister Heluisa has
been trying to reintegrate Sandras ex into the family by
(27:48):
inviting him to this BBQ thing that they have with all the
siblings. Then we find out that he's the
baby daddy. They skirt around that for so
long, did they? I thought I thought weird knew
that. No.
I I just automatically assumed that the ex-husband was the
children. Well, no, they kept saying the
ex, they didn't say the ex-husband, OK, the ex, but it
(28:09):
was like the timeline anyway. I I mean, maybe it was a lot
more obvious for you, but it wasn't for me.
It took me a while to figure that out.
So I thought it was very deviousof Heloisa to plant this little
wrench in the works, if you like.
Why is she doing it? Does she actually believe that
Sandra and the Acts can reconcile well?
(28:31):
Is there enough love between them for that to happen?
Who knows. But the fact that Halloween, and
we have seen this has quite a bit of influence over Sandra and
they have a really, really closerelationship where their
opinions really matter to one another.
I thought perhaps Halloween is going to use this experience of
(28:51):
having the ex come to the familybarbecue in order to compare and
contrast his behavior and how things go at the BBQ with Finn,
and then to have that discussionwith Sandra, which would lay it
all on the table for her. Quite clearly that Hallouisa
wants to manipulate Sandra or convince Sandra Finn is wrong.
(29:14):
The ex may be the right choice, or at least somebody who is
Brazilian who knows the culture can integrate into a big, loud,
boisterous family. So what I found interesting is
before we got into that, he saidthat there's not three people in
this relationship, meaning him, Sandra and Heloisa.
(29:34):
It's him and Sandra and maybe his cat, but he doesn't say
anything about the kids. And then hello, Louisa clearly
wants her to get back with the baby daddy, but I wonder it's
because. The baby daddy actually gives.
A shit about the kids, whereas it seems like not even a second
thought for Finn, for him to sayit's the two of us in this
(29:56):
relationship, not three. Well, no, it's the 4-5 of you.
If you're including the cat. Yes, Yeah.
Are you kidding me? Of course the cat's involved.
Don't be ridiculous. You know this.
I know this. I know you know this.
But like, for her sister to pullthis shit, it's so skeevy.
But also for Sandra's response to be like, I don't care, what
(30:21):
does it matter? I felt was really telling.
But as we've seen previously, she continuously dismisses his
feelings, dismisses his perspective, and I just, I, I
don't think that she is taking Finn's position seriously.
Absolutely not, because he opensup yet again about his fears
(30:43):
over the family not welcoming him, about how Louisa trying to
manipulate Sandra to break up with him, not move, definitely
not move to England. But when he brings us up to
Sandra, she immediately shuts him down, just like she did
before. And she will not allow him to
talk, especially when it comes to matters that concern her
sister and her and her family. She's protective of her family
(31:08):
to the extent where she will dismiss, ignore and shut down
anything from Finn that he triesto express to her about how he
feels about those situations or people.
She will always, always, I think, find a way to protect her
family before she protects Finn.And I think this is a crucial
(31:28):
problem in their relationship. Her history with her siblings,
because of their upbringing, is so, so strong that nothing else
will be able to infiltrate that and be as equally strong.
So she, in other words, until she ends up letting go of her
family a little bit, not not leaving them, ignoring them or
(31:49):
stop loving them, but to stop being so dependent on them and
relying on their opinions so so much.
She won't be able to have a relationship with another person
outside of her family, like Finn, that will be able to
maintain itself. Unless they find someone who can
integrate with the family in theway that Finn is not capable of
(32:09):
doing, yeah, it may be. But I still feel like
fundamentally there's an imbalance in the person who
Sandra ends up with, will alwaysfeel like an outsider because of
how close she is and how she listens to her family members,
her sisters especially. So, so much because of the way
we've seen her dismiss Finn in him bringing up stuff to her
(32:33):
about her family, about how he feels.
I really don't feel like she's able to allow somebody else's
feelings to matter to her as much as her family's feelings
matter to her. But I also wonder in the same
vein, what it's like for her siblings, spouses.
How have they been able to integrate?
What has their experience been like?
(32:55):
Do they also feel like outsiders?
Is this a family integration thing?
Is this a family codependency? I don't know if there's just,
there's so much involved here. We don't have enough
information. I think again, her moving to the
UK, 100% of production plant, that was never a thing from the
(33:16):
very beginning. That was an afterthought.
What is going on here? I don't think that this couple
is going to survive. I think that her family is going
to get in the way. She's going to allow them to get
in the way and I don't think that she respects him or their
relationship enough to stand up to it.
I. Think she's going to pressure
him to make him move to Brazil and if he doesn't bend to that
(33:40):
pressure then their relationshipis done.
I think the relationship is done.
You think it's done already? They don't need to try to get
him to move to Brazil. Oh, no, they're going to try.
But I, I think that he's going to have enough reservations
with, you know, being a stepdad and his cat and his mom.
I think that's going to be enough for him to say no or he's
(34:03):
going to make the attempt. As we've seen previously in UK,
he's going to make the attempt, he's going to go and then he's
going to regret it and then he'sgoing to move home.
I think he's. Come quite a long way in his
attitude towards being a stepfather, and I think that
he's so. Lovely to see.
He can continue to grow in that vein and will continue to grow
in that vein if he spends more time with them.
(34:23):
But let's talk for a minute about some of the things that he
did with Sandra and for Sandra when she came to England,
because it was just hilarious how we see Finn's approach to
romance. He gives her the gift of sand
when she first arrives at the airport.
And she says this is a totally Finn thing to do, but his idea
(34:45):
of combining the two sands. I had a girlfriend who actually
did that as part of her wedding ceremony.
OK, so it works for some people.In this case I felt very
strongly that it was a complete miss.
But he recovered. He got a hit when he brought the
champagne to the car and they had drinks on the way from the
airport back to his house. Definitely gets a point for
(35:06):
that. Trying to make an English
breakfast for her even though he's a vegetarian.
I didn't know he was a vegetarian, so the fact that he
even tried to make her actual sausages for the English
breakfast I thought was a nice gesture.
Though Do turn down your pan or the whatever the.
(35:27):
Burning the burning of the sausages was quite classic given
how he does not cook meat so he doesn't necessarily have that
experience. But a wonderful thought and the
thoughts do count. He tried.
And then finally the surprise gesture gift to her of taking
her to Cambridge to go punting. Such a romantic idea.
(35:49):
I had to tell you, I didn't knowwhat punting was before this.
So when he said that they were going to go so punting, the
mental pictures that I had were absolutely hysterical, had
absolutely nothing to do with water.
Leave it at that. But then to see the absolute
failure going through the weeds and going through the the Willow
(36:14):
trees, just getting slapped in the face was just quite
triggering for me. But can you just dock and then
walk back? Like, I can't imagine that
they've gone very far. I, I just wanted to bring it up
because I think it's lovely. Finn is one of those people who
has the best of intentions and when it comes to execution,
(36:35):
things fall remarkably to piecesin the most hilarious way
possible. And I just appreciate it so much
because not only does he have this memory of being an
excellent punter when he was at uni, but now of course, he's
20-30 years, 20 years older maybe.
And so he's lost the skill then,as you said, all the mishaps
(36:58):
that happened. But then also it's horrible
weather. It's cold, it's damp, it's
cloudy. It's not the best day to be
doing this activity, but he still.
Tries England. It's England like.
He's still like out there tryingto build this romantic moment,
trying to make something that she's going to have as a memory
forever for all the wrong reasons.
(37:19):
She will remember it forever so.I agree I thought that the
effort was it was Primo like good for him for for trying
though it probably would have been best to had he grabbed like
a buddy and be like hey can we try this first and.
I think that's Finn, right? He doesn't practice first, he
just wings it. It's just like.
(37:39):
I was. I used to do this really well,
so therefore I can still do this.
Really. Well, great.
It's like driving a standard vehicle for so long and then not
driving one for 30 years and then driving one for 30 minutes
and blowing the clutch. Yeah.
Precisely, yeah. So although I was sad in this
(38:00):
episode to see that Finn is probably going to be forced into
a situation of no choice, IE he must move to Brazil, I did think
that the comedic relief within this segment was fantastic and
made the rest of the show bearable, especially those
segments that we were discussingwith Sam and Ally and others.
(38:20):
I thought it was so cringy. Was so disappointed with this
episode though. The fact that Match me was so
good I was doesn't matter. At least I had something to be
excited about. Yeah, yeah.
So no further comments tonight. Disappointed production Do
better. OK, you've been told before we
go, if you're enjoying the 90 Day Fiance Honestly Podcast,
(38:43):
please subscribe to or give our show a follow.
And if you have an additional moment, please rate US and help
other 90 Day fans to find our show.
Thanks for listening. Thank you everyone.
See you next week.
Hi, Amy, I'm B. Yesterday we watched Nighty Day
Fiance UK season 4 episode 8. I'm just going to start please.
Before we begin the show, let meremind you one rate review.
Follow us wherever you listen tothe podcast. 2 Watch the podcast
if you prefer on YouTube at Nighty Day Fiance.
Honestly, shall we dive right in?
(00:21):
You already? Said we were going to OK.
Good. It's just a game.
Let's go Andrew and Ara Ara. Oh my God, I'm still not able to
say that. How many years will it take me?
How many episodes do I have to watch before I finally figure it
out? Just ignore.
At least. The proposal, The proposal
scene. What did you think?
What a roller coaster. The proposal was a roller
(00:43):
coaster. For the leading up to it, I was
really surprised that he had theballs.
I was going to say audacity, butthe balls to propose to her in
front of her family. I was so elated that she said
yes because we know how I feel about him.
I think he's absolutely wonderful, even though I think
that he's acting a little impulsively and he even said
(01:06):
it's moving so fast, but it feels so right.
And I say good for them. I'm so glad that she said yes.
Whether or not this sticks, I don't know.
I'm. Also very happy that she agreed
to the marriage. I thought there was a moment
when she would say no or say notnow, maybe later, but I guess
that he wasn't scared of her saying no after all.
(01:29):
And she says she's never going to regret saying yes, which was
a beautiful sentiment. So loving you, what you no not
happy about that? What she said.
I will never regret saying yes to him this night.
And I said, Lord, I hope not. I thought it was beautiful,
lovely, romantic time for both of them, captured wonderfully.
(01:53):
I totally believed it. I believe that they both have
feelings for one another. I believe that there is love
between them. So what more can you ask for,
really? How about a timeline?
OK, so yes, we do still want to know exactly how much time has
elapsed between when he met her online, when he went there and
how long they've been together. But when he goes back to the UK,
(02:15):
things are not so happy. And I was so sad for him.
He tells his friend about he's gotten engaged.
She's a little bit shocked. She seems not that pleased.
But he went to the Philippines. Apparently she didn't know, and
I wondered if this was a production plant, though her
reaction seemed to be authentic.Yeah, I I didn't feel like it
(02:40):
was a plant at all. I felt like it.
Was real. Well, no, but her response was,
I didn't know you went to the Philippines and Oh my God, now
you're engaged. How is this his?
One of his best friends and she doesn't know how close is he
with his best friends that theseare.
But this is a shocking revelation.
Well, I think he's probably beenkeeping a secret.
(03:00):
We saw him reveal the secret that he was dating Ara to one of
his. I think it was his workmate or
his friend at the beginning, andthey're all being surprised.
I'm not shocked that he would keep it a secret.
It is so far away, such an unknown.
Are you really going to meet this person?
He didn't even know if she really existed, even though he
(03:20):
talked to her on video chat, if she would show up there.
All of these questions would make it a situation where you
don't want to necessarily tell everybody in case it does go
terribly, terribly awry and you end up with egg on your face.
So I can see him not telling everybody.
I don't know, just it bothered like I've never been in a
(03:40):
situation where I have just not told my friends about people
that I'm seeing and my first love I met online and we're
talking way back in the day. I'm not aging myself, but I'm
also aging myself at the same time.
Well, if there was online datingwhen you were dating this love
of your life, then that's not sovery long ago because I was
(04:01):
dating before there was any Internet, I did as.
Well, however, it's just OK, worked out.
But anyway, I thought it was interesting that he said that
they're going to get married in the Philippines.
Yeah, because it's illegal to get divorced.
Yes. I thought that this was
(04:22):
interesting. It's.
I didn't. Think it was so much they're
going to get married there because it's illegal for anybody
to get divorced. It is illegal for a Filipino
citizen to get divorced in the Philippines.
So I think she can get married wherever she could get married
in the UK. But the fact is, if she lived,
if they lived in the Philippines, they would not be
allowed to be divorced. Thank you for clarifying.
(04:43):
However, he can always move backto the UK and apply for a
divorce and I say this knowing that my brother in law's parents
are divorced and they're. Filipino.
Interesting. OK, so it is possible but likely
that you can't be in the Philippines.
In order to obtain the divorce, you have to be a resident, at
least if somewhere else. Yes, did.
(05:06):
I did not know that he was Catholic, so that was another
new bit of information. Oh, I didn't catch.
That. But because they're both
Catholic, they the Philippines is a predominantly Catholic
country. And that is why, as he
explained, as in Vatican City, there is no divorce permitted,
only annulments. Next step for Andy is that the
(05:26):
wedding date is set and then he goes to tell his dad.
Dad does not have a very happy, welcoming, joyous reaction to
this news. Granted, the wedding is going to
be in two months from now, so that is very, a very short
amount of time for anybody to get ready.
Especially when Andy is asking both his mom and his dad to come
(05:47):
to the Philippines to be presentat the wedding.
That's a huge ask. But from bad expression, I would
have said that the dad was not all that happy to hear that Andy
was getting married to Ara. Well, not just that.
And then when he told them the date, it was, oh, let me let me
check my schedule. Oh, I have an appointment at the
hospital. I can't, I can't reschedule this
(06:08):
appointment at the hospital. And your mom can't travel alone
even like why can't she travel with Andy to the Philippines so
she wouldn't be traveling alone?But I think that was him
essentially saying that we don'taccept this.
Yeah. And I thought that was really
sad, though. I also, I felt like that was an
opportunity for Andy to realize how impulsive he's being about
(06:33):
this. But he didn't see it that way.
He just saw it as I have no one here to support me.
Well, Sir, if no one is there tosupport you, maybe you need to
look at the decision that you'vejust made.
Why is everyone taking this position?
And also, why did Ara book the venue without okaying the date
with him? Or did he just say whenever you
(06:55):
book it without talking to the people who actually matter to
see whether or not they can or would attend, is it because they
can't make it for the date or because they won't be there?
I have a feeling that there are so many missing pieces to this
storyline because if we did havethe pieces, we would be either
so shocked or bored that we wouldn't want to watch.
(07:17):
Do you know what I mean? Either these guys have really
not been dating for long at all and it's a completely absurd
storyline of them getting together and getting married in
such a short space of time. Or it's just like, it's not
really enough of a story. So let's leave all these details
out and try to make it seem as if it's shocking that they've
been together for a very short period of time or that his
(07:41):
parents aren't going to attend the wedding.
I just feel like there's a lot of information missing.
We're getting half a picture. And I feel like when 90 Day
first started, they used to havethe two names together for so
and so amount of time and the fact that we are still insured
between the two of us at least. And I mean, I've tried to look
(08:04):
it up and I can't find it. How short of time has it been?
Is this part of their storyline?Because they both said, you
know, it's only been a short amount of time, but how much is
a short amount of time? Because that's subjective.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, who knows?
I don't. I have, I have no other notes
for them because their segments were incredibly brief.
Let's move on to Xena and Ibrahim.
(08:25):
Xena has been scolded by Ibrahim.
She's ready to clap. This is about the dancing where
he pulled her away, told her herboobs were hanging out of her
shirt and shouldn't be drinking,et cetera, et cetera.
And so she gets upset and she wants to fight.
Back she seems a lot more sober when they have this conversation
that when she hadn't was pulled away from the beach yes so.
(08:47):
This is the perfect time for Xena to bring up the fact that
not only does she know that he has social media presence on
Facebook, but that she has in fact gone through his friends
list and there are all of these scantily clad women in the
friends list. So she confronts him with that,
and what do you know? He breaks down, tells her the
truth, and the story is over because he's got three wives and
(09:09):
five children already. I got.
It that you're being serious, I was like watching the same show.
I think the argument was so ridiculous.
The smug look on his face was soirritating, she was like bowing
down to him without physically doing so.
(09:29):
He says it's the first time he'sever seen these women, right?
Yeah, sure, we believe that. And Xena plays so dumb like she
just goes along with whatever hesays no matter how stupid and
outrageous it is. OK let me say I don't appreciate
the fact that she was so derogatory towards the other
women that were on his Facebook though.
(09:51):
That's your profile picture. Questionable.
I just. I didn't like it that she kept
calling them whores and prostitutes and whatever.
I thought that was just classless, but what if?
They were prostitutes. There are prostitutes.
There's nothing wrong with beinga prostitute.
Is the only option you have or you want to?
Not what I'm saying, You know what I'm saying anyway.
(10:12):
And then when he shows up, he makes this grand gesture, which
we've seen before that has gone over so well.
He picked wildflowers along the way.
Hello, Rob. OK, back up the second though,
because when they're in this fight and she's saying who are
these women? He says, oh, I have no clue.
I've never seen them before. He's also threatening to leave
(10:36):
her if she doesn't wear more modest clothing and stop
drinking. Even though.
She's supposedly, she's supposedly in the position of
power because she's bringing up these talks to him that she's
discovered and he should be defending himself.
He not only says. I don't know who.
Are those women? I don't know who they are.
You need to change your behavior.
(10:58):
You need to change how you live your life because I don't accept
it and I will leave if you don't.
Red freaking flag. Xena Run.
Sir, shut the F up please and also remember how much I loved
Xena at the beginning and now tosee her just bow down to his
every whim is so disappointing. Oh my God, he was so honest with
(11:20):
me. He doesn't know any of these
women. No one.
No one who's watching this sees what you see.
They see you as an easy target. You're going to continue to give
him money. He's going to continue to play
you with that smug friggin face.Drives me nuts.
Yes, the one thing that I was pleased to see Xena do was that
(11:43):
after this confrontations, she says OK, you need to leave, we
need to have some time alone now, so you go off and do your
thing. I'm glad she does that.
I'm glad she takes the time to allow them to separate and to
think about things on their own.However, she has just displayed
all of her cards to him now. He has all of the information
(12:04):
that she brought to the table inorder to try to trip him up to
figure out what was really goinggoing on.
And now he has the time that he needs to compile his stupid
little arguments to refute her claims about what he may or may
not be doing in the background That is wrong.
So in other words, he's got timeto build a story to make his lie
(12:25):
even stronger. Yeah.
She gave him too much power at that point.
And on top of that, this time alone for Xena always has the
same effect. The time she spends apart from
Ibrahim makes her miss him more.Makes her realize how lonely she
is so that she's willing to accept and forgive and just lay
(12:45):
down on the road so he can walk all over her once more.
And then she calls her granddaughter Tilly, sweet,
emotionally intelligent Tilly. She keeps calling him out,
saying, do you really think thathe's doing this For these
reasons, blah, blah, blah. And then Zena keeps making
excuses. Well, it's just as religion.
It's just as culture. I call bullshit.
(13:07):
The guy is just a piece of shit.And then Tilly says she needs to
set boundaries, even though the boundaries are not part of his
culture, compromises are not part of his culture is, you
know, used to being dominant andcalling all of the shots.
So what is Zena actually going to be able to accomplish by
trying to set these boundaries with him?
(13:28):
And then we had that individual interview with Ibrahim, and I
think they asked him, do you really love her?
He's like, yeah, I really love her.
And then he his eyes darted awayfrom the camera.
And we all know that indicates that you're lying.
If you can't hold eye contact when you're saying something,
(13:50):
that means that you're lying. I think he's absolutely full of
shit. And I think that she's falling
into everything that he's playing.
And he must have a masterful thing between his legs because
that's the only thing that I canthink that would encapsulate her
so much. Either that and or the
loneliness because they're both as impactful.
Yeah, well, it it really is the loneliness from my perspective
(14:12):
because she says a couple of things that were so, so
tragically sad, she said. She said that she thinks that
this is her last chance for lovewith Ibrahim, which I believe to
be the real reason why she continues to make apologies for
him and gloss over all of his lies, sweep everything under the
carpet. And then she also says Ibrahim
(14:32):
is her true love. What, This guy is your true love
who tells you just up drinking to stop doing the things you
like, like dancing. And been together for two years.
How many times has she been there to visit him, and how many
times has he tried to correct her?
Amusing air quotations, Yeah. Like.
(14:52):
What what in the actual app is this?
It's so, so sad. I was very frustrated watching
this because we're seeing this pattern so deeply ingrained in
Xena, where she deludes herself,She pulls the wool over her own
eyes, and Ibrahim basically doesn't have to do it.
She will do it for him. He just has to sit there with
(15:14):
that stupid friggin smug look onhis face.
And then we see the same pattern.
So she sends him away. She misses him, she forgives
him, she takes him back. She forgets all about the past
stuff. No more red flags there.
They're all green. Assures, you know, whatever.
And then she goes ahead and starts trying to buy him back.
So they go shopping and I thought, wow, OK, is Abraham
(15:36):
actually going to buy her a little something?
I know he doesn't have a lot of money, but maybe he could buy
her a little trinket of some kind.
A little thing, no? No, this is Robin Sophie, but in
completely different cultures. It's sick and the opposite age
thing. But she's all he knows.
I love shopping, so he takes hershopping where she.
I just thought it was so gross. You know her buying random but
(15:59):
she doesn't need and oh this is cute, oh this is cute and then
when she does that dance thing. He was laughing at her.
He was laughing openly. Everyone was laughing at her and
she took it as everyone thought that we were having a good time.
Yep, she thinks that he enjoyed her dancing.
(16:20):
He was getting a thrill out of watching his woman dance for a
change and this was wonderful. She thought it was fantastic.
She was happy that he was watching her, and yet he was so
clearly making fun of her. They were all relishing in the
fact that he was using her. This is another, another victim.
(16:41):
He's going to get his money. He's going to get what he wants.
Let's all just placate her. It was sad.
I feel so bad for her. And you know how much I loved
her at the very beginning and now it's just wow, I was so
wrong. How different a picture we have
now of Xena and of Abraham, whattheir relationship is like.
(17:03):
The tragedy of this particular episode doesn't end there,
though. It doesn't end with the drum
dancing, because afterwards she wants to set boundaries with
him, but she does not understandthe concept because she allows
him to make up all the rules. She's not allowed to get drunk
anymore. She's not allowed to make a fool
of herself anymore, whatever that means.
(17:24):
So she has to reduce her alcoholconsumption.
And he's the one who's making the rules.
Xena, it's not you. That is not a compromise.
That is not you setting a boundary.
They're. All her, all of his quote UN
quote compromises are her compromising for him.
At which point is he compromising?
(17:45):
She can wear these things, but only in private.
Not only that, but she can only dance for him in private while
wearing these things, and she's the one who's setting this up
because she is trying to make itas exciting and as entertaining
a moment. I guess you might want to say
for herself as possible too. So, OK, you want me to dance?
(18:06):
OK, I'll dance for you. Would you like me to wear
leisure? Yeah.
OK, great. So maybe it'll be this sexy
little thing where I'm dancing for you wearing something really
Lacy or whatever. And she keeps asking him for
confirmation, for approval of her being sexy, of her being
attractive to him. It's the the opposite of a
(18:26):
mating dance. It's absolutely pitiful to watch
her a base herself like this forthis man who is doing nothing
but lie to her. And she is.
Trying to take her money. So hard to twist herself into
knots to be the kind of woman that he would like.
There's nothing she can do. He is a butt head.
(18:49):
He is a jerk, he is likely married to somebody else in this
moment, likely has children withother women, and is definitely
using her for her money at best.And that smug look on his face.
You've mentioned that once or twice.
Can we please move on? Yes, maybe not.
(19:10):
Yeah, I was just going to say I don't think you're going to be
too happy about who's next. It's Sam and Allie.
So they're reuniting after they're five months apart in
Turkey. Sam is coming to visit Ali.
He does not bring flowers for. Her he forgot.
And I wrote down why would she be mad about that?
What's the big deal if he bringsyou flowers or not?
(19:33):
But wow, I guess some people really need flowers when they
get greeted at an airport maybe.It's because that's the most
minimal amount of effort that heever puts into the relationship
is when she arrives and he brings flowers.
Right from the start, things do not go well between them.
I think they're going to be the confrontation couple of this
(19:53):
season. I think that that's just the
most BS couple of the season. We didn't need to see them
before and we don't need to see them again.
And I hate the fact that they are on my my screen.
Right away we see them get into the van after he's picked us,
picked her up flourless, and she's anxious.
She wants to start getting readyto make plans, to start thinking
about apartments and how things are going to be, what the living
(20:15):
situation is going to be like. And he just wants to go to
sleep. OK, so this is step one of the
Master evil plan. Great also tells her to relax
and because husband, I will showyou but you're not going to like
it for being so young and so stupid.
(20:38):
He is legit playing right into her.
Like he knows her so well that he can play her cards for her.
Is that? Is that the term?
I don't know? I don't know.
Anyway, he knows how she works, he knows what to do, he knows
what to say to get her to be complacent with his plan.
(21:02):
And his quote UN quote evil planis for him to move to the UK and
for him to foul any kind of ideathat she wants to live in
Turkey. And this was so friggin painful
to watch. Well, before we get to the
market day fiasco, which was somewhat entertaining, there was
the moment when they were with the family.
(21:23):
Now she's tried to learn a little bit of Turkish so that
she can communicate with them. It's not a whole lot, so she
quickly gets lost. That's understandable.
But I was thinking, OK, why isn't he translating anything
for her? He just sits back and it's
silenced. Crickets.
Because nobody can speak to the other person.
They can't communicate with her.She can't communicate with them.
(21:43):
Where's your app? Where's your phone?
Can you not get something so that you can have a few
sentences of what you'd like to do while you're there?
And also, why is your partner your husband?
Because now they're married. Why isn't he translating for
you? Why isn't he helping?
Oh no, because he wants to make her feel so much more
(22:03):
uncomfortable, to make life in turkeys that much more
inhabitable. Uninhabitable.
Is that what did I? Say inhabitable.
The idea is to make it uninhabitable so that she
doesn't want to stay there. Thank you for that
clarification. He's definitely achieving his
goal. I have to give him props for the
efficacy of his master plan Evilplan.
(22:25):
It's working well. And he says that evil plans
always work great. Especially when they go to the
market, things progress very, very well for Ali, for Ali.
He planned it out so well, he even said in the last episode
that they were in that he was only going to take her to the
shitty markets. I mean, he for the specific 1 he
(22:48):
takes her to the market. That's like all the chilies and
the fresh fish and like the off meat cuts or whatever.
And then he. Makes her try.
Chilies makes fun of her when it's too hot that this was.
Enjoyable, you have to admit. Did you not laugh when she tried
(23:09):
the chilies? I couldn't.
Oh. I was so sidetracked by, I don't
think that's the right word, buthis bullshit, his face, his
maybe it was also his smugness. Be like, yeah, you hate that,
don't you? Like he was getting off on this
(23:29):
shit. Like, yeah, you hate this so
much, you want to go back to theUK.
Don't you just like, oh, yeah, Iwant to go home.
I want to go home. He's like, hey, let's see how
you do. Like, let me show you more.
And then it's like, let me show you the fresh fish gills.
Yeah, you like that? Yeah, let me grab one on my.
Like he was getting off on this whole thing and it was almost
(23:49):
like we were being introduced toa new kink unwillingly and I
didn't like it. OK, well, I I got a little bit
of joy out of it because I saw how Sam was suffering through
these experiences, whether or not it was made-up for the
camera. Don't get me wrong, I like to
see her suffering, but I didn't like to see his.
Joy. OK, but when she's squirming at
(24:10):
the goat head and and of course of the fish and then having her
tongue burned by the hot chiliesand then explaining that the
only seasoning that she ever uses are salt and pepper, I'm
just like, OK, so maybe she doesleave a little bit of a
sheltered life. But I mean, who doesn't know
where food comes from? Who doesn't know that?
(24:30):
The reality is there are heads and feet attached to these
animals that you eat. OK, two things.
One, has she ever had freshly ground pepper?
Because that is far superior to the powdered shit that you get.
And two, how much is she like Nicole?
Which Nicole Mahmoud and Nicole.No, the 55% Nicole, the larger
(24:53):
woman who had that beautiful child who went to the Middle
East and they went to go on the camel ride and almost there.
Lazy that one. God they were so enjoyable but
also awful. At the same time and she only
ever ate French fries or something.
Yeah, that one. Yes, OK.
Anyway, just Sam seems naive, very naive.
(25:17):
Ali's taking advantage of that and of her.
I think he'll succeed. I think so as well.
I think that his quote UN quote evil plan that he says evil
genius plans always work. But.
I think that he might actually be successful, and I wonder why.
Yeah. I have no answer.
(25:38):
I don't know and I don't care. I don't.
Let's read on. Finn and Sandra are up next.
Hurrah. He's been back in the UK for
four months when we first see him and Sandra is coming over
there yet. My Lord, I feel like this is a
production plant. Not her coming over but him
trying to convince her to come over.
You think she's going to bring her two kids who apparently
(26:01):
still have an active father thatwe found out, and she's going to
leave her 8 or 9? Siblings.
Yeah, exactly, I wrote. Dream on, you.
Have a cat? There is no way in hell that
this would ever work. And yes, I tend to think that
production is just encouraging him to follow this storyline.
Because what sane person would think that it's at all
(26:21):
reasonable for her to bring her children out of the environment?
Not just the fact that their dadis still in Brazil, but her
whole family, so all of their nieces and nephews and aunts and
uncles and everybody that they've known throughout their.
Entire lives that you grew up with in an orphanage.
With her, hers. But the kids.
I'm talking about the kids. And why?
(26:42):
She would take the kids, kids away from that environment of
safety and comfort that they've known throughout their entire
lives and the school and everything so that they could go
live in England. No, that is not going to happen.
The weather, hello. For one thing, yucky in the UK
most of the time, not all the time.
So yeah, Finn does not really believe this, that he can do
(27:03):
this, does he? No, I think this is definitely a
plant. There's no way that this is
going to be a thing, especially because in the last couple
episodes, or like especially right before he laughed, he was
like this going to be be a make it or break it as to whether or
not I moved there and now I was an oh, no, maybe she's going to
move here. No, she's not going to move
(27:23):
there. Her entire family, which is a
lot bigger than yours that she has a massive connection with.
She's not going to leave it for you.
And this is where the other interesting little tidbit comes
up for us, which is that we findout Sandra's sister Heluisa has
been trying to reintegrate Sandras ex into the family by
(27:48):
inviting him to this BBQ thing that they have with all the
siblings. Then we find out that he's the
baby daddy. They skirt around that for so
long, did they? I thought I thought weird knew
that. No.
I I just automatically assumed that the ex-husband was the
children. Well, no, they kept saying the
ex, they didn't say the ex-husband, OK, the ex, but it
(28:09):
was like the timeline anyway. I I mean, maybe it was a lot
more obvious for you, but it wasn't for me.
It took me a while to figure that out.
So I thought it was very deviousof Heloisa to plant this little
wrench in the works, if you like.
Why is she doing it? Does she actually believe that
Sandra and the Acts can reconcile well?
(28:31):
Is there enough love between them for that to happen?
Who knows. But the fact that Halloween, and
we have seen this has quite a bit of influence over Sandra and
they have a really, really closerelationship where their
opinions really matter to one another.
I thought perhaps Halloween is going to use this experience of
(28:51):
having the ex come to the familybarbecue in order to compare and
contrast his behavior and how things go at the BBQ with Finn,
and then to have that discussionwith Sandra, which would lay it
all on the table for her. Quite clearly that Hallouisa
wants to manipulate Sandra or convince Sandra Finn is wrong.
(29:14):
The ex may be the right choice, or at least somebody who is
Brazilian who knows the culture can integrate into a big, loud,
boisterous family. So what I found interesting is
before we got into that, he saidthat there's not three people in
this relationship, meaning him, Sandra and Heloisa.
(29:34):
It's him and Sandra and maybe his cat, but he doesn't say
anything about the kids. And then hello, Louisa clearly
wants her to get back with the baby daddy, but I wonder it's
because. The baby daddy actually gives.
A shit about the kids, whereas it seems like not even a second
thought for Finn, for him to sayit's the two of us in this
(29:56):
relationship, not three. Well, no, it's the 4-5 of you.
If you're including the cat. Yes, Yeah.
Are you kidding me? Of course the cat's involved.
Don't be ridiculous. You know this.
I know this. I know you know this.
But like, for her sister to pullthis shit, it's so skeevy.
But also for Sandra's response to be like, I don't care, what
(30:21):
does it matter? I felt was really telling.
But as we've seen previously, she continuously dismisses his
feelings, dismisses his perspective, and I just, I, I
don't think that she is taking Finn's position seriously.
Absolutely not, because he opensup yet again about his fears
(30:43):
over the family not welcoming him, about how Louisa trying to
manipulate Sandra to break up with him, not move, definitely
not move to England. But when he brings us up to
Sandra, she immediately shuts him down, just like she did
before. And she will not allow him to
talk, especially when it comes to matters that concern her
sister and her and her family. She's protective of her family
(31:08):
to the extent where she will dismiss, ignore and shut down
anything from Finn that he triesto express to her about how he
feels about those situations or people.
She will always, always, I think, find a way to protect her
family before she protects Finn.And I think this is a crucial
(31:28):
problem in their relationship. Her history with her siblings,
because of their upbringing, is so, so strong that nothing else
will be able to infiltrate that and be as equally strong.
So she, in other words, until she ends up letting go of her
family a little bit, not not leaving them, ignoring them or
(31:49):
stop loving them, but to stop being so dependent on them and
relying on their opinions so so much.
She won't be able to have a relationship with another person
outside of her family, like Finn, that will be able to
maintain itself. Unless they find someone who can
integrate with the family in theway that Finn is not capable of
(32:09):
doing, yeah, it may be. But I still feel like
fundamentally there's an imbalance in the person who
Sandra ends up with, will alwaysfeel like an outsider because of
how close she is and how she listens to her family members,
her sisters especially. So, so much because of the way
we've seen her dismiss Finn in him bringing up stuff to her
(32:33):
about her family, about how he feels.
I really don't feel like she's able to allow somebody else's
feelings to matter to her as much as her family's feelings
matter to her. But I also wonder in the same
vein, what it's like for her siblings, spouses.
How have they been able to integrate?
What has their experience been like?
(32:55):
Do they also feel like outsiders?
Is this a family integration thing?
Is this a family codependency? I don't know if there's just,
there's so much involved here. We don't have enough
information. I think again, her moving to the
UK, 100% of production plant, that was never a thing from the
(33:16):
very beginning. That was an afterthought.
What is going on here? I don't think that this couple
is going to survive. I think that her family is going
to get in the way. She's going to allow them to get
in the way and I don't think that she respects him or their
relationship enough to stand up to it.
I. Think she's going to pressure
him to make him move to Brazil and if he doesn't bend to that
(33:40):
pressure then their relationshipis done.
I think the relationship is done.
You think it's done already? They don't need to try to get
him to move to Brazil. Oh, no, they're going to try.
But I, I think that he's going to have enough reservations
with, you know, being a stepdad and his cat and his mom.
I think that's going to be enough for him to say no or he's
(34:03):
going to make the attempt. As we've seen previously in UK,
he's going to make the attempt, he's going to go and then he's
going to regret it and then he'sgoing to move home.
I think he's. Come quite a long way in his
attitude towards being a stepfather, and I think that
he's so. Lovely to see.
He can continue to grow in that vein and will continue to grow
in that vein if he spends more time with them.
(34:23):
But let's talk for a minute about some of the things that he
did with Sandra and for Sandra when she came to England,
because it was just hilarious how we see Finn's approach to
romance. He gives her the gift of sand
when she first arrives at the airport.
And she says this is a totally Finn thing to do, but his idea
(34:45):
of combining the two sands. I had a girlfriend who actually
did that as part of her wedding ceremony.
OK, so it works for some people.In this case I felt very
strongly that it was a complete miss.
But he recovered. He got a hit when he brought the
champagne to the car and they had drinks on the way from the
airport back to his house. Definitely gets a point for
(35:06):
that. Trying to make an English
breakfast for her even though he's a vegetarian.
I didn't know he was a vegetarian, so the fact that he
even tried to make her actual sausages for the English
breakfast I thought was a nice gesture.
Though Do turn down your pan or the whatever the.
(35:27):
Burning the burning of the sausages was quite classic given
how he does not cook meat so he doesn't necessarily have that
experience. But a wonderful thought and the
thoughts do count. He tried.
And then finally the surprise gesture gift to her of taking
her to Cambridge to go punting. Such a romantic idea.
(35:49):
I had to tell you, I didn't knowwhat punting was before this.
So when he said that they were going to go so punting, the
mental pictures that I had were absolutely hysterical, had
absolutely nothing to do with water.
Leave it at that. But then to see the absolute
failure going through the weeds and going through the the Willow
(36:14):
trees, just getting slapped in the face was just quite
triggering for me. But can you just dock and then
walk back? Like, I can't imagine that
they've gone very far. I, I just wanted to bring it up
because I think it's lovely. Finn is one of those people who
has the best of intentions and when it comes to execution,
(36:35):
things fall remarkably to piecesin the most hilarious way
possible. And I just appreciate it so much
because not only does he have this memory of being an
excellent punter when he was at uni, but now of course, he's
20-30 years, 20 years older maybe.
And so he's lost the skill then,as you said, all the mishaps
(36:58):
that happened. But then also it's horrible
weather. It's cold, it's damp, it's
cloudy. It's not the best day to be
doing this activity, but he still.
Tries England. It's England like.
He's still like out there tryingto build this romantic moment,
trying to make something that she's going to have as a memory
forever for all the wrong reasons.
(37:19):
She will remember it forever so.I agree I thought that the
effort was it was Primo like good for him for for trying
though it probably would have been best to had he grabbed like
a buddy and be like hey can we try this first and.
I think that's Finn, right? He doesn't practice first, he
just wings it. It's just like.
(37:39):
I was. I used to do this really well,
so therefore I can still do this.
Really. Well, great.
It's like driving a standard vehicle for so long and then not
driving one for 30 years and then driving one for 30 minutes
and blowing the clutch. Yeah.
Precisely, yeah. So although I was sad in this
(38:00):
episode to see that Finn is probably going to be forced into
a situation of no choice, IE he must move to Brazil, I did think
that the comedic relief within this segment was fantastic and
made the rest of the show bearable, especially those
segments that we were discussingwith Sam and Ally and others.
(38:20):
I thought it was so cringy. Was so disappointed with this
episode though. The fact that Match me was so
good I was doesn't matter. At least I had something to be
excited about. Yeah, yeah.
So no further comments tonight. Disappointed production Do
better. OK, you've been told before we
go, if you're enjoying the 90 Day Fiance Honestly Podcast,
(38:43):
please subscribe to or give our show a follow.
And if you have an additional moment, please rate US and help
other 90 Day fans to find our show.
Thanks for listening. Thank you everyone.
See you next week.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.