October 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Greta starts learning more about Matthew as she spends her first full day in England. Luke and Madelein go cake tasting and Luke reveals his secret. Jenny and Sumit come to terms with his Aunt’s lack of acceptance. New couple Pattiya and Dylan are introduced.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hi Amy, happy we just watched Nighty Day Fiance the other way
season 7 episode 6. Any first impressions you'd like
to share? I feel.
Like, there was quite a bit in this episode.
It didn't feel like as much of Afiller episode.
There was drama, not too much drama.
There was crying, not too much crying.
So I'd say overall, it was a fairly entertaining episode.
(00:21):
What did you think? I I was pleased with it as well.
It seemed like it was like the regular mix of stuff at plus the
new couple. Yes, yes, that was lovely to
see. Before we begin, let's do a
quick one and two rate review and follow us wherever you
listen to the podcast to watch the podcast on YouTube at 90 Day
Fiance, Honestly. And now we may begin with Greta
(00:44):
and Matthew. She.
Finally gets her shower. My gosh, I felt so bad for her
throughout the entirety of this episode, starting with finally
getting her to the point where she's able to take a shower at
Matthew, asking her, oh did you find enough space for your
clothes? Was that a snark or was he for
(01:05):
real? I'm not entirely sure.
It felt more like, I don't know,almost like passing the buck,
like passive aggressive, like, oh, did you get enough?
Did you find enough space? And she said no.
And he's like, then just dump out the contents into the bin
and take whatever you need. And in this situation, it felt
like he was passing more of the emotional labor on to her.
(01:28):
So then she had more to do. Why couldn't he just take the
initiative and do it while she was in the shower and be like,
I've cleared all this space for you.
Please take as much as what you need.
I'm, I'm so sorry that I didn't prepare properly before you got
here. You know, just something.
But he does nothing and put it back, puts it back on her.
Yes, that was very worrisome. I was also not happy with that
(01:52):
little episodes the way that he relinquishes all responsibility
for this finding of enough spacefor her clothing to her felt
very manipulative to me. The way that he just said, Oh
well, you know, my stuff doesn'tmatter.
Just move it. Just do whatever you want with
it and I'll find some other place to put it like the garage.
Hello Victoria. Self victimization.
(02:13):
And then I can see how he might think that that is a kindness to
her to offer her the space that he is currently occupying with
his clothes. But it was not said in a way
that was kind. There was no consideration
there. It was basically, well, I don't
matter as much, so you take it and then I will turn into a
(02:35):
small little insignificant nothing for your sake.
And that's what it felt like. Poor Greta.
In return is like, Oh no, I'll make myself smaller.
You keep your space. I'll live out of my suitcase.
Yeah, I you could hear so plainly in the way that she was
addressing Matthew that all she wanted him to say to her was I'm
(02:56):
so sorry that you felt like thatwhen you arrived.
And I'm going to try everything that I I can to make tomorrow a
better day. Something along those lines.
Just I need to be heard is what Greta is vocalizing without
actually saying words. But in the other things that she
was saying and in the way that she was acting, you could hear
it very plainly. And he just did not catch on at
(03:18):
all. And not only did he not hear
her, he can't interpret what she's trying to tell him, her
subtext, but he turns it around and and turns it into something
quite negative and yucky. So I wasn't very happy with any
of this. Even going back to when she
comes out of the the shower, there's no point at which he
(03:41):
said to her, can I make you a snack?
Can Ioffer you something to eat?Are you needing a little little
bit of energy? Your cat's face is full on in
the camera. It's hilarious.
He's almost tempting. He's he keeps looking at me like
I'm going to step on your computer.
Are you going to stop me? Typical cat.
Yeah. So no, no consideration for.
(04:03):
Is she hungry? Does she need anything?
It just, I'm going to sit here in the living room and read my
book and let her have her own space because I don't want to
interfere with this obviously horrid mood that she's in, which
is like, come on, man. She just traveled so far and you
made so little effort, if any. I mean, the thing where he said
(04:24):
when his parents came in, I'm resting because I've been so
busy cleaning the house or getting things ready for Grant.
I was like, OK, so you dusted and cleaned the house.
That's probably something that you should be doing anyway
because you live with your parents and you have to
contribute to the household chores.
So I'm not going to give you anyspecial props for that.
You didn't clean specifically because she was arriving, yes.
(04:47):
And moreover, you didn't empty the drawers that were marked
with the letter G, which were supposed to be for her.
You didn't really make much effort at all to clean the space
for her and give her that Peace of Mind when she arrives that
she is actually welcomed there. I feel really bad for her in
this episode. It wasn't until the parents came
(05:07):
home that I felt the energy shift and I finally saw Greta
relax and feel happy, cared for.There was a sense of her being
loved, especially when Matthew'smom brought out the vegan cake
that she'd made for her. I thought their welcoming was so
beautiful. It was so loving.
(05:27):
That welcoming cake must have made her feel so, so welcome to.
I don't know, I'm, I'm limited with my words right now.
And then having the cat on top was so thoughtful.
And, you know, it felt like his parents put more effort into her
arrival than he did. Yeah, but we've, we've made
space in the fridge for you. We've accommodated you in our
(05:48):
kitchen. They've done stuff and he
hasn't. And I think the parents know
this very, very well because of the way that they playfully, I'm
saying that sarcastically, called him Mr. Grumpy.
Clearly they know that Matthew is somebody who gets irritated
very quickly, very easily, and goes into a funk.
(06:11):
And so this is their way of coping with it to call him Mr.
Grumpy, I thought. That that was fair for them to
call him out and then to say, you know, as soon as Greta
walked in the room, that's when the light came back into his
eyes. OK, cute.
I, I felt, I felt like this was wonderful for her to walk into
because it was a stark contrast to her arrival with, with
(06:34):
Matthew, you know, with him going on about the way that she
smells and not having the space.And yeah, I just, I, I felt
really overwhelmed for her. What did you think of the next
day when they went to the? Spa.
I thought the idea of the spa was lovely.
I love the fact that there was sparkling wine and then it just
went down from. There, yeah, again, it's
(06:54):
performative, isn't it? It has all the appearance of
being a lovely gesture towards your partner, but very, very
soon you see that close to the surface, it's not what it
appears to be at all. Yeah, again, I really felt for
her, especially when they were talking about money and she was
saying, you know, she goes in for weekly massages and he's
(07:15):
like, well, I don't think I'll be able to make enough money to
keep up with your luxuries. And she has to keep it
reasonable. And then she asks, well, what's
reasonable because you just paidto upgrade your engine, which
was unnecessary, and a new computer.
So one, what's reasonable and two, worse consideration.
(07:37):
Aren't you supposed to be savingup so you can get an apartment
so you can move out with? Excellent point.
Greta. No, no, you're just going to buy
all of these selfish things. OK, so where's the space for
Greta again? It.
Really blew my mind that he was speaking to her so
condescendingly at this point because when she pointed out her
(07:58):
routine back at home of getting a massage about once a week, he
wanted to shut that down so fast.
OK, I can understand where he's coming from, but then she does
this lovely little comparison ofhim being an exorbitant spender
with unnecessary purchases like the car engine, like the extra
(08:21):
special super duper fancy computer.
Reasonable argument. But then he has to counter back
again with another argument to further make it feel like she
has to control her spending without acknowledging what she
has just pointed out as being absolutely reasonable.
That he is also having luxury expenses in his life.
(08:43):
And so they should sit down together and talk, talk about
this like two adults who are going to make compromises and
concessions to one another. Not well, I'm the one who's
making the money, so I get to determine what you're spending
yours on. And we're not going to question
what I'm spending my money on. No, no, no, because I'm the one
who's earning it. That's just.
Sick. Just very controlling.
(09:03):
When she is there because she isgiving up so, so much to be with
him and she has to re qualify tobecome a lawyer in the UK and
then it'll take a while before she can earn a living like she
was doing back at home in the US.
It's it is so unfair of him to take this position of OK, well
(09:26):
I'm the one who's going to be supporting both of us.
So I get to decide how things are spent.
That's not how you treat a partner.
That's how you treat a child. I think it.
Just really highlights the amount of sacrifices that she's
made and how little he's made. What kind of concessions has he
made for this relationship? She's given up her entire life,
including her cat. Yeah, and he can't even start
(09:48):
saving to get a new apartment. But it's not just that I I
acknowledge those things are alltrue and valid, but he goes
beyond that and says, I I'm not getting the kind of appreciation
that I think I deserve. He wants Greta to openly
appreciate him more. And I was like.
What the hell for? You you did 0 efforts to get her
(10:13):
comfortable in your home and you're now telling her what she
can and and can't spend money onbecause you are the breadwinner
even though you've agreed between the two of you that you
have to be the breadwinner untilshe can get her own job.
I am seeing red freaking flags everywhere.
Yeah, this is really unfortunatebecause we had high hopes for
this couple and then to see his attitude and his behavior ever
(10:37):
since she arrives is a stark contract fast to what we've seen
previously, and I'm really not impressed.
Yeah. And I, I also see in Greta that
kind of reaction that we get so much in couples who are not
equally matched in terms of power, where she just shuts
(10:57):
down, gets smaller, even though she's tried.
She was so direct with him and Iwas so proud of her when they
were lying in bed on the first night and she was saying, this
is how I feel, the way that he shut her down without
acknowledging. Yes, I, I hear you.
That's how you feel and I'm sorry that's how you feel.
There was none of that. It was just, well, then he did
the whole bit about just toss mystuff aside and go ahead and
(11:19):
take the space, which is not. That's not what she was getting
at. That's not what she asked.
For no, she wasn't asking for complete and utter control over
everything and to be the dominant presence in the
bedroom. She wanted him to acknowledge
that he didn't prepare for her sufficiently and she didn't feel
welcome. And that's how she felt.
That's all totally. Valid and his response was again
(11:43):
so lackluster and very disappointing.
Yeah. But I just feel like there's an
insidious current of manipulation in this couple that
I had not anticipated at all. And now that we're starting to
see it, see it more clearly, I'mvery, very worried for Greta.
I am too. I I just hope that this is all
made-up stuff, made-up storylines, made-up conflict for
(12:06):
the sake of the show, and that it's not actually like this for
her. I mean, on the flip side, it
could just be, you know, he's sostressed out about the whole
thing too. And instead of dealing with it
and talking about it from, you know, unemotional and reasonable
position, he's just deflecting and projecting.
(12:28):
And that's just his way of coping.
So perhaps he also needs some rest and then they'll be able to
come together and resolve everything in the next episode.
I mean I hope but the amount of red flags that he's shown in the
first day 2 days is not setting us up for success.
No. And then that's backed up by the
parents calling him Mr. Grumpy because that means that they are
(12:52):
identifying his behavior as not positive and they're trying to
coddle him with with their response to it instead of just
saying, look, you're being an ass, cut it out.
Reset. Be better.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shall we read on growing up? God, yes.
It's Luke and Madeline again. My.
Lord, the first quote that I wrote down was I get what I want
(13:14):
when I want. Right, Very very, very grown up
statement. That's what all adults say, yes,
once they achieve maturity, I get what I want when I want it.
Always. Yeah, but I do appreciate the
copious amounts of cake that we've seen in this episode.
Lord, this was such a lovely opening.
It was beyond because, as you know, I love cake and the
(13:37):
different types of cake. I was just in heaven at the
beginning because, you know, this is a cake tasting episode
and cake tasting puts everybody in a good mood.
So how could there be any conflict at all in this kind of
setting, especially when you have the beautiful combination
of pistachio and passion fruit? Dear Lord of mercy, I.
(13:58):
Can't even comprehend that combination.
I mean, you say pistachio, I sayyes, but you throw in the
passion fruit and like, oh what?What is that going to taste
like? And now I need to have a bite of
it. But I can't have a bite of it.
And OK, was this a setup? Because at first they're getting
the little tasting slices, whichwere very generous, but then all
(14:19):
of a sudden there was a whole cake on the table just prior to
the incident. There were two cakes, two whole
cakes, because they brought out one which was, it almost had
like little squares in it, but it was a whole cake.
So it was like an impression of the squares.
So you could like cut out the squares for the pieces.
I don't know why they served that whole thing.
And then they came out with the second one.
(14:40):
I'm not even sure what that one was.
It kind of looked like a cheesecake or a moose cake or
something. I don't think they really
described it, but it looked absolutely divine.
But I do wonder if if it was a setup because production could
have said this is the appropriate time or the time
that we would like to film you telling her about your bachelor
(15:01):
party and there is more than enough food for her to throw at
you. More than enough food to get
under her mouth and filthy up her hands again.
Miles Well, yeah, this is, I think that's a reasonable
assumption because in a cake tasting, you would not be served
an entire cake. To be served an entire cake is
crazy. And a waste of money, totally.
(15:23):
Huge. And they're trying to to save
money. And obviously the cake shop is
not going to give away an entirecake to people who are only
going to end up buying one or two cakes for their wedding
ceremony. So I feel like production
deliberately had this as a setup.
However, it was not the most wonderful reaction to watch or
(15:46):
for her to have when Luke finally got up the nerve to tell
her that he'd had a bachelor party.
I mean, come on, this is just too much.
So juvenile, So dramatic, so abusive.
Violent. It was abusive of cake, and I
take offense to cake abuse because that was a perfectly
(16:06):
good, beautiful cake with a lot of love and work that went into
it and it was thrown so. Viciously.
Well, yes, viciously, but without justification.
Without proper justification. Who does this?
Children. A toddler?
Uh huh. A toddler.
(16:27):
This was a toddler temper tantrum.
So unless. Unless it was just for show.
Unless the crew had set them up for this moment and told them
what Madeline should do if this was real, Luke should run away
right now. I mean, this isn't the first
time that she's thrown somethingin his face.
(16:47):
I think the last time it was a drink or something.
Yeah, I'm, I'm sure there was other food throwing episodes
with this couple. Can't remember them right off
the top of my head, but it feelslike familiar territory.
It's just, it's so, so juvenile.If this was a real life moment,
if these were real people doing this, there's no way that you
(17:08):
would walk away from this momentthinking I still want to marry
that person. And I mean this from Lukes
perspective, not from Madeline perspective.
Also, why did she get into the passenger side of her own car to
cry about it? Why didn't she just get in her
car and drive off? That would have given a bigger
sign than her just sitting therecrying about it.
And at one point they panned to her chair and her coat, her
(17:31):
purse and her phone was on the chair.
And then all of a sudden she hasher phone in the car.
So was also that a production thing?
But, you know, she keeps saying,you know, the weddings off,
nothings gonna do to fix it. And I had to laugh.
I'm like, you're really going togive up the spotlight or give up
the opportunity to be in the spotlight again for your
(17:52):
wedding, the one that you've been dreaming of your entire
life that Luke has just paid off.
No, no, you're going to go through with that wedding.
Yeah, of course, there's no doubt that they're going to go
through with it regardless of this incident.
Did you notice that she'd taken off her ring?
She was showing Luke her hand that was naked.
Yeah, she's she's really going all in at this point.
(18:13):
The wedding is cancelled over taking off the ring, driving
away without him. But yeah, she, I mean, they're
they're going to make up. I think this is just their
pattern. Madeline is such a child.
She enjoys punishing Luke. She really, really enjoys that.
That's her pattern. That's her immaturity, showing
out when when something happens that she doesn't like, she takes
(18:34):
the temper tantrum route and shemakes Luke pay for it, both
literally and metaphorically. And she also knows that she can
throw these tantrums and he's going to stick around.
He's going to grovel for her forgiveness, which is exactly
what she wants. She doesn't want to have to
change for him. She's not going to have to tone
it down. She's just going to throw her
(18:57):
tantrums and then they're going to get back together and such as
the cycle of their lives. Gross.
Any other comments? The way that she fluttered her
eyes at him made her look like ademon.
OK, did it not Like the way thather eyeballs just like, rolled
right into the back of her head the way that she does when she
rolls her eyes? Well, they didn't disappear all
(19:17):
together. They weren't like total whites.
You could see the brown parts. They were still that.
Yeah, but it was just ridiculous, the whole fake
flirt. Trying to be sexy and not
pulling it off. And the way that she said
vanilla Van Ninja or Van Ninja, Yeah.
That I think that's because of the double L in Spanish, which
(19:37):
becomes almost like a eye sound.You asked me.
If I had any other comments I just wanted to comment OK.
Sorry, I thought you were askinga question.
My mistake. Just commenting, OK.
My last comment is fake fake fake.
OK, Yep. Jenny and Summit.
OK, so we're going back to the aftermath of this big party, the
puja with the aunt who walked off.
(20:00):
They're still talking age gap. It's nonsense.
This is an old storyline. We've already dealt with it.
We don't need to bring it up again.
I think this was a plant having the aunt do a a big hysterical
show and and leave just a littlebit of drama for the camera
because Summit doesn't care. Jenny should not care.
She probably doesn't. And the parents both stood up
(20:20):
for the couple, so. Who cares?
Yeah. The when he was talking about
his mom being cheerful. I wonder if it's because she
really accepts Jenny or if it's because she only accepts Jenny
because that's the only way she will be able to have summate
close to her. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what's going on with Sadhna's brain, but that's
that could be. I would be equally willing to
(20:41):
accept that Sadhna fully acceptsJenny and or she only accepts
her because it's the only way forward.
It could be the way also, So I don't know.
On another, on another note, I wonder if this was really
Sumeet's intention all like thisentire time to move back in with
his parents because that's wherehe wanted to be and now he's
(21:03):
successful. So I think all of this, you
know, with Jenny saying, you know, I'm not going to be able
to live like this. I think this is her life now.
Like he's got what he wanted andthere's going to be no way that
he's going to he's going to allow them to move out.
He's going to do everything thathe possibly can to make sure
that they don't make enough money to be able to move.
Yeah, well, it is paradoxical. They ostensibly moved in with
(21:27):
the parents because they were having a crisis of not having
enough money. So therefore they go on another
TLC show where they're both making money every time they're
on an episode, which means they have enough to pay the rent of
their own place. Yeah, but it doesn't play into
the storyline, you see? Yeah, I know.
So again, fake fake, fake. Yay.
Shall we read on with our new couple?
(21:48):
Wow. Yes.
OK, I've already forgotten. And how to say her name is Patia
is 58 from Texas, Ellen, 38 fromAustralia.
This was impressive. She's been an exotic dancer for
37 years. Wow.
She's in great shape. She looks fantastic.
She looks. Incredible for her age and some
(22:09):
of the moves that she was doing.I would not be capable of doing
that. Like she's so impressive as a
woman and as an entertainer, yes.
And then when we found out that Dylan is a plumber, I was like,
oh, ha, ha. That's so funny because that's a
really good so-called career forwhen you're a stripper and you
have to dress up like the fireman or the plumber or the
(22:33):
construction worker. And then it turns out that he's
an exotic dancer, too. In fact, he's the only exotic
dancer in his town. Male.
Male exotic dancer. Yeah.
He really hit his niche in that one.
Where do? They find these people.
They have two exotic dancers. So, you know, typically I don't
(22:55):
want to talk about people's sex lives, but given the fact that
they're both adult entertainers,I really wonder how incredible
their sex is, especially with both of them being in such great
shape. And, you know, with her, I don't
know how else to say this, but like dancing on the pole, that
would have to translate into, you know, just like, great
positions and great endurance. And anyway, moving on.
(23:18):
So they've been together for 12 years.
OK, so we we filled in a few blanks this week, which was
fantastic because when we'd heard before that they've been
together for 12 years, would have broken up 20 times.
You and I had some major questions and it turned out they
have lived together for seven years in the States, for one
year in Thailand. They have been engaged before,
(23:39):
but interestingly she has never been to Australia.
She's never been to Tasmania to visit him, which I thought was
pretty remarkable given how muchtime they've been together, but
also given she's making this leap of moving there permanently
without even having seen the place or experienced it.
I don't think I could do that. I think that's a terrifying move
(24:02):
for her. Does she not know the size of
the spiders down there? And the quantity.
Yeah, that that too. No, no.
Not just spiders, snakes, Crocs.Everything down in Australia
wants to kill you, yeah. Just about.
Sharks. I mean, I'm not sure if this is
(24:23):
true, but I'm going to call it the shark capital of the world
with shark attacks. But I don't know about that.
Anyway, I don't I. Take issue because sharks don't
want to eat people. They accidentally bite people,
which sometimes turns fatal. But the like jellyfish box
jellyfish get stung by one of those, You're done.
I'm just saying that it is terrifying place to be.
(24:44):
Yes, and. The fact that she hasn't gone to
visit is worrisome. Yes.
She said that they were living together in Vegas for seven
years, but he had to leave because of visa issues.
What kind of visa issues can youhave after living there for
seven years? Well, maybe he was there on a
working visa of some kind and his sponsor employer no longer
(25:07):
wanted him. I don't.
Know, I don't know either. I was just, I was curious, you
know, maybe he overstayed his, his working visa.
Maybe that's why he hasn't been back.
I mean, that's the reason why they went to to Thailand.
Then she also said that they broke up after Thailand.
So did he move back home to Australia after Thailand or did
(25:30):
he come back and then go back toAustralia?
I got the impression, yeah, I got the impression he went back
to Australia after Thailand and she went back to the US after
Thailand. So at this point they haven't
had a second proposal. But Patias says that he will
propose to her, which I thought was a little bit naive or just
(25:52):
not wealth, maybe wishful thinking, but not well planned
out. Because if she's making this
huge move to a place she's neverexperienced before, she doesn't
know if she's going to like it. But she's also having to do what
she did before when she moved toThailand, which is to sell all
of her things. Like that's that's major.
And you don't know that you're going to be able to stay in
(26:14):
Australia because you don't havea proposal.
You're not married yet. Lots of variables here, doesn't
seem like she's really put all of her ducks in a row properly
for this to work out. Maybe I'm just being a little
bit of a worry wart here, but I feel like there's there's some
big gaps in the story. She said that the engagement and
(26:35):
most of their breakups were due to jealousy and insecurity.
Not great, no saw that coming. But the fact that they've broken
up so many times over the past 12 years is a huge red flag.
The fact that he proposed and then took it back, huge red
flag. At what point has he shown you
that he's actually willing to put in the effort to be in this
(26:58):
relationship on a committed level?
Like where does that trust come from at this point?
Have you been able to rebuild it?
When was the last time that you broke up?
What was the last reason why youbroke U?
Have you been able to work through your issues?
Have you gotten over your jealousy and your insecurities?
Have you discussed marriage? How do you know that he's going
to propose to you? So many questions.
(27:20):
Absolutely, lots and lots of questions and that disturbed me,
as well as the fact that she keeps talking in terms of this
move to Australia as being the last time.
There's no more chances. This is a final try.
Everything was like this is the last one.
If it doesn't work out this time, we're done.
It's over. Finito.
(27:41):
I'm not sure that that's a greatapproach given their history of
breakup and get back together again.
And also given the fact that she's never never been there
before. So she's going to have to adapt
not just to being with him and working through whatever
jealousy issues they do have in their relationship, but also the
the finality of it. Like if this doesn't work, then
(28:02):
it's finished. So I have to make it work.
You know what I mean? It's a lot of and I think that
if she had a little bit of knowledge of what she was
stepping into just for the town he lives in, the countryside,
whatever, she would feel more relaxed about it.
But the way that she's going into it with this high tension,
(28:23):
high stress, I don't know if it's the best approach.
I wouldn't say so because it's not like she's walking into it,
you know, with open arms. You know, I'm going to try
everything that I possibly can to make it work.
It's starting out with that negativity.
This is the last time. Is that really how you want to
walk into it? Yeah.
And have you talked to him aboutit?
Yeah, Is he? And it sounds like he's the one
who walks away all the time, that she doesn't give up maybe
(28:45):
quite as easy as he does. And whose jealousy is it, by the
way? Is it hers?
Is it his? Is it both of theirs?
Where does this come from? I don't think she specified.
And then I also wondered if, because she said that she was
going to hang her boots up when when she moves there, is he also
going to quit the entertainment business while she's while she's
(29:10):
there? Or is he going to continue?
And is that going to exacerbate the jealousy and insecurities if
they're on on her part? Because how can he be jealous
when she's not dancing anymore? We don't.
We don't have enough informationon this couple yet, though there
are some very concerning red flags.
(29:32):
I agree. Do you have any other comments
or shall we wrap it up for this week?
No, I think I'm good. OK, so before we go, if you're
enjoying the 90 Day Fiance Honestly podcast, please
subscribe to or give a show a follow.
And if you have another moment, please rate US and help other 90
Day fans to find the show. Thanks for listening.
Thanks everyone. See you next week.
Hi Amy, happy we just watched Nighty Day Fiance the other way
season 7 episode 6. Any first impressions you'd like
to share? I feel.
Like, there was quite a bit in this episode.
It didn't feel like as much of Afiller episode.
There was drama, not too much drama.
There was crying, not too much crying.
So I'd say overall, it was a fairly entertaining episode.
(00:21):
What did you think? I I was pleased with it as well.
It seemed like it was like the regular mix of stuff at plus the
new couple. Yes, yes, that was lovely to
see. Before we begin, let's do a
quick one and two rate review and follow us wherever you
listen to the podcast to watch the podcast on YouTube at 90 Day
Fiance, Honestly. And now we may begin with Greta
(00:44):
and Matthew. She.
Finally gets her shower. My gosh, I felt so bad for her
throughout the entirety of this episode, starting with finally
getting her to the point where she's able to take a shower at
Matthew, asking her, oh did you find enough space for your
clothes? Was that a snark or was he for
(01:05):
real? I'm not entirely sure.
It felt more like, I don't know,almost like passing the buck,
like passive aggressive, like, oh, did you get enough?
Did you find enough space? And she said no.
And he's like, then just dump out the contents into the bin
and take whatever you need. And in this situation, it felt
like he was passing more of the emotional labor on to her.
(01:28):
So then she had more to do. Why couldn't he just take the
initiative and do it while she was in the shower and be like,
I've cleared all this space for you.
Please take as much as what you need.
I'm, I'm so sorry that I didn't prepare properly before you got
here. You know, just something.
But he does nothing and put it back, puts it back on her.
Yes, that was very worrisome. I was also not happy with that
(01:52):
little episodes the way that he relinquishes all responsibility
for this finding of enough spacefor her clothing to her felt
very manipulative to me. The way that he just said, Oh
well, you know, my stuff doesn'tmatter.
Just move it. Just do whatever you want with
it and I'll find some other place to put it like the garage.
Hello Victoria. Self victimization.
(02:13):
And then I can see how he might think that that is a kindness to
her to offer her the space that he is currently occupying with
his clothes. But it was not said in a way
that was kind. There was no consideration
there. It was basically, well, I don't
matter as much, so you take it and then I will turn into a
(02:35):
small little insignificant nothing for your sake.
And that's what it felt like. Poor Greta.
In return is like, Oh no, I'll make myself smaller.
You keep your space. I'll live out of my suitcase.
Yeah, I you could hear so plainly in the way that she was
addressing Matthew that all she wanted him to say to her was I'm
(02:56):
so sorry that you felt like thatwhen you arrived.
And I'm going to try everything that I I can to make tomorrow a
better day. Something along those lines.
Just I need to be heard is what Greta is vocalizing without
actually saying words. But in the other things that she
was saying and in the way that she was acting, you could hear
it very plainly. And he just did not catch on at
(03:18):
all. And not only did he not hear
her, he can't interpret what she's trying to tell him, her
subtext, but he turns it around and and turns it into something
quite negative and yucky. So I wasn't very happy with any
of this. Even going back to when she
comes out of the the shower, there's no point at which he
(03:41):
said to her, can I make you a snack?
Can Ioffer you something to eat?Are you needing a little little
bit of energy? Your cat's face is full on in
the camera. It's hilarious.
He's almost tempting. He's he keeps looking at me like
I'm going to step on your computer.
Are you going to stop me? Typical cat.
Yeah. So no, no consideration for.
(04:03):
Is she hungry? Does she need anything?
It just, I'm going to sit here in the living room and read my
book and let her have her own space because I don't want to
interfere with this obviously horrid mood that she's in, which
is like, come on, man. She just traveled so far and you
made so little effort, if any. I mean, the thing where he said
(04:24):
when his parents came in, I'm resting because I've been so
busy cleaning the house or getting things ready for Grant.
I was like, OK, so you dusted and cleaned the house.
That's probably something that you should be doing anyway
because you live with your parents and you have to
contribute to the household chores.
So I'm not going to give you anyspecial props for that.
You didn't clean specifically because she was arriving, yes.
(04:47):
And moreover, you didn't empty the drawers that were marked
with the letter G, which were supposed to be for her.
You didn't really make much effort at all to clean the space
for her and give her that Peace of Mind when she arrives that
she is actually welcomed there. I feel really bad for her in
this episode. It wasn't until the parents came
(05:07):
home that I felt the energy shift and I finally saw Greta
relax and feel happy, cared for.There was a sense of her being
loved, especially when Matthew'smom brought out the vegan cake
that she'd made for her. I thought their welcoming was so
beautiful. It was so loving.
(05:27):
That welcoming cake must have made her feel so, so welcome to.
I don't know, I'm, I'm limited with my words right now.
And then having the cat on top was so thoughtful.
And, you know, it felt like his parents put more effort into her
arrival than he did. Yeah, but we've, we've made
space in the fridge for you. We've accommodated you in our
(05:48):
kitchen. They've done stuff and he
hasn't. And I think the parents know
this very, very well because of the way that they playfully, I'm
saying that sarcastically, called him Mr. Grumpy.
Clearly they know that Matthew is somebody who gets irritated
very quickly, very easily, and goes into a funk.
(06:11):
And so this is their way of coping with it to call him Mr.
Grumpy, I thought. That that was fair for them to
call him out and then to say, you know, as soon as Greta
walked in the room, that's when the light came back into his
eyes. OK, cute.
I, I felt, I felt like this was wonderful for her to walk into
because it was a stark contrast to her arrival with, with
(06:34):
Matthew, you know, with him going on about the way that she
smells and not having the space.And yeah, I just, I, I felt
really overwhelmed for her. What did you think of the next
day when they went to the? Spa.
I thought the idea of the spa was lovely.
I love the fact that there was sparkling wine and then it just
went down from. There, yeah, again, it's
(06:54):
performative, isn't it? It has all the appearance of
being a lovely gesture towards your partner, but very, very
soon you see that close to the surface, it's not what it
appears to be at all. Yeah, again, I really felt for
her, especially when they were talking about money and she was
saying, you know, she goes in for weekly massages and he's
(07:15):
like, well, I don't think I'll be able to make enough money to
keep up with your luxuries. And she has to keep it
reasonable. And then she asks, well, what's
reasonable because you just paidto upgrade your engine, which
was unnecessary, and a new computer.
So one, what's reasonable and two, worse consideration.
(07:37):
Aren't you supposed to be savingup so you can get an apartment
so you can move out with? Excellent point.
Greta. No, no, you're just going to buy
all of these selfish things. OK, so where's the space for
Greta again? It.
Really blew my mind that he was speaking to her so
condescendingly at this point because when she pointed out her
(07:58):
routine back at home of getting a massage about once a week, he
wanted to shut that down so fast.
OK, I can understand where he's coming from, but then she does
this lovely little comparison ofhim being an exorbitant spender
with unnecessary purchases like the car engine, like the extra
(08:21):
special super duper fancy computer.
Reasonable argument. But then he has to counter back
again with another argument to further make it feel like she
has to control her spending without acknowledging what she
has just pointed out as being absolutely reasonable.
That he is also having luxury expenses in his life.
(08:43):
And so they should sit down together and talk, talk about
this like two adults who are going to make compromises and
concessions to one another. Not well, I'm the one who's
making the money, so I get to determine what you're spending
yours on. And we're not going to question
what I'm spending my money on. No, no, no, because I'm the one
who's earning it. That's just.
Sick. Just very controlling.
(09:03):
When she is there because she isgiving up so, so much to be with
him and she has to re qualify tobecome a lawyer in the UK and
then it'll take a while before she can earn a living like she
was doing back at home in the US.
It's it is so unfair of him to take this position of OK, well
(09:26):
I'm the one who's going to be supporting both of us.
So I get to decide how things are spent.
That's not how you treat a partner.
That's how you treat a child. I think it.
Just really highlights the amount of sacrifices that she's
made and how little he's made. What kind of concessions has he
made for this relationship? She's given up her entire life,
including her cat. Yeah, and he can't even start
(09:48):
saving to get a new apartment. But it's not just that I I
acknowledge those things are alltrue and valid, but he goes
beyond that and says, I I'm not getting the kind of appreciation
that I think I deserve. He wants Greta to openly
appreciate him more. And I was like.
What the hell for? You you did 0 efforts to get her
(10:13):
comfortable in your home and you're now telling her what she
can and and can't spend money onbecause you are the breadwinner
even though you've agreed between the two of you that you
have to be the breadwinner untilshe can get her own job.
I am seeing red freaking flags everywhere.
Yeah, this is really unfortunatebecause we had high hopes for
this couple and then to see his attitude and his behavior ever
(10:37):
since she arrives is a stark contract fast to what we've seen
previously, and I'm really not impressed.
Yeah. And I, I also see in Greta that
kind of reaction that we get so much in couples who are not
equally matched in terms of power, where she just shuts
(10:57):
down, gets smaller, even though she's tried.
She was so direct with him and Iwas so proud of her when they
were lying in bed on the first night and she was saying, this
is how I feel, the way that he shut her down without
acknowledging. Yes, I, I hear you.
That's how you feel and I'm sorry that's how you feel.
There was none of that. It was just, well, then he did
the whole bit about just toss mystuff aside and go ahead and
(11:19):
take the space, which is not. That's not what she was getting
at. That's not what she asked.
For no, she wasn't asking for complete and utter control over
everything and to be the dominant presence in the
bedroom. She wanted him to acknowledge
that he didn't prepare for her sufficiently and she didn't feel
welcome. And that's how she felt.
That's all totally. Valid and his response was again
(11:43):
so lackluster and very disappointing.
Yeah. But I just feel like there's an
insidious current of manipulation in this couple that
I had not anticipated at all. And now that we're starting to
see it, see it more clearly, I'mvery, very worried for Greta.
I am too. I I just hope that this is all
made-up stuff, made-up storylines, made-up conflict for
(12:06):
the sake of the show, and that it's not actually like this for
her. I mean, on the flip side, it
could just be, you know, he's sostressed out about the whole
thing too. And instead of dealing with it
and talking about it from, you know, unemotional and reasonable
position, he's just deflecting and projecting.
(12:28):
And that's just his way of coping.
So perhaps he also needs some rest and then they'll be able to
come together and resolve everything in the next episode.
I mean I hope but the amount of red flags that he's shown in the
first day 2 days is not setting us up for success.
No. And then that's backed up by the
parents calling him Mr. Grumpy because that means that they are
(12:52):
identifying his behavior as not positive and they're trying to
coddle him with with their response to it instead of just
saying, look, you're being an ass, cut it out.
Reset. Be better.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shall we read on growing up? God, yes.
It's Luke and Madeline again. My.
Lord, the first quote that I wrote down was I get what I want
(13:14):
when I want. Right, Very very, very grown up
statement. That's what all adults say, yes,
once they achieve maturity, I get what I want when I want it.
Always. Yeah, but I do appreciate the
copious amounts of cake that we've seen in this episode.
Lord, this was such a lovely opening.
It was beyond because, as you know, I love cake and the
(13:37):
different types of cake. I was just in heaven at the
beginning because, you know, this is a cake tasting episode
and cake tasting puts everybody in a good mood.
So how could there be any conflict at all in this kind of
setting, especially when you have the beautiful combination
of pistachio and passion fruit? Dear Lord of mercy, I.
(13:58):
Can't even comprehend that combination.
I mean, you say pistachio, I sayyes, but you throw in the
passion fruit and like, oh what?What is that going to taste
like? And now I need to have a bite of
it. But I can't have a bite of it.
And OK, was this a setup? Because at first they're getting
the little tasting slices, whichwere very generous, but then all
(14:19):
of a sudden there was a whole cake on the table just prior to
the incident. There were two cakes, two whole
cakes, because they brought out one which was, it almost had
like little squares in it, but it was a whole cake.
So it was like an impression of the squares.
So you could like cut out the squares for the pieces.
I don't know why they served that whole thing.
And then they came out with the second one.
(14:40):
I'm not even sure what that one was.
It kind of looked like a cheesecake or a moose cake or
something. I don't think they really
described it, but it looked absolutely divine.
But I do wonder if if it was a setup because production could
have said this is the appropriate time or the time
that we would like to film you telling her about your bachelor
(15:01):
party and there is more than enough food for her to throw at
you. More than enough food to get
under her mouth and filthy up her hands again.
Miles Well, yeah, this is, I think that's a reasonable
assumption because in a cake tasting, you would not be served
an entire cake. To be served an entire cake is
crazy. And a waste of money, totally.
(15:23):
Huge. And they're trying to to save
money. And obviously the cake shop is
not going to give away an entirecake to people who are only
going to end up buying one or two cakes for their wedding
ceremony. So I feel like production
deliberately had this as a setup.
However, it was not the most wonderful reaction to watch or
(15:46):
for her to have when Luke finally got up the nerve to tell
her that he'd had a bachelor party.
I mean, come on, this is just too much.
So juvenile, So dramatic, so abusive.
Violent. It was abusive of cake, and I
take offense to cake abuse because that was a perfectly
(16:06):
good, beautiful cake with a lot of love and work that went into
it and it was thrown so. Viciously.
Well, yes, viciously, but without justification.
Without proper justification. Who does this?
Children. A toddler?
Uh huh. A toddler.
(16:27):
This was a toddler temper tantrum.
So unless. Unless it was just for show.
Unless the crew had set them up for this moment and told them
what Madeline should do if this was real, Luke should run away
right now. I mean, this isn't the first
time that she's thrown somethingin his face.
(16:47):
I think the last time it was a drink or something.
Yeah, I'm, I'm sure there was other food throwing episodes
with this couple. Can't remember them right off
the top of my head, but it feelslike familiar territory.
It's just, it's so, so juvenile.If this was a real life moment,
if these were real people doing this, there's no way that you
(17:08):
would walk away from this momentthinking I still want to marry
that person. And I mean this from Lukes
perspective, not from Madeline perspective.
Also, why did she get into the passenger side of her own car to
cry about it? Why didn't she just get in her
car and drive off? That would have given a bigger
sign than her just sitting therecrying about it.
And at one point they panned to her chair and her coat, her
(17:31):
purse and her phone was on the chair.
And then all of a sudden she hasher phone in the car.
So was also that a production thing?
But, you know, she keeps saying,you know, the weddings off,
nothings gonna do to fix it. And I had to laugh.
I'm like, you're really going togive up the spotlight or give up
the opportunity to be in the spotlight again for your
(17:52):
wedding, the one that you've been dreaming of your entire
life that Luke has just paid off.
No, no, you're going to go through with that wedding.
Yeah, of course, there's no doubt that they're going to go
through with it regardless of this incident.
Did you notice that she'd taken off her ring?
She was showing Luke her hand that was naked.
Yeah, she's she's really going all in at this point.
(18:13):
The wedding is cancelled over taking off the ring, driving
away without him. But yeah, she, I mean, they're
they're going to make up. I think this is just their
pattern. Madeline is such a child.
She enjoys punishing Luke. She really, really enjoys that.
That's her pattern. That's her immaturity, showing
out when when something happens that she doesn't like, she takes
(18:34):
the temper tantrum route and shemakes Luke pay for it, both
literally and metaphorically. And she also knows that she can
throw these tantrums and he's going to stick around.
He's going to grovel for her forgiveness, which is exactly
what she wants. She doesn't want to have to
change for him. She's not going to have to tone
it down. She's just going to throw her
(18:57):
tantrums and then they're going to get back together and such as
the cycle of their lives. Gross.
Any other comments? The way that she fluttered her
eyes at him made her look like ademon.
OK, did it not Like the way thather eyeballs just like, rolled
right into the back of her head the way that she does when she
rolls her eyes? Well, they didn't disappear all
(19:17):
together. They weren't like total whites.
You could see the brown parts. They were still that.
Yeah, but it was just ridiculous, the whole fake
flirt. Trying to be sexy and not
pulling it off. And the way that she said
vanilla Van Ninja or Van Ninja, Yeah.
That I think that's because of the double L in Spanish, which
(19:37):
becomes almost like a eye sound.You asked me.
If I had any other comments I just wanted to comment OK.
Sorry, I thought you were askinga question.
My mistake. Just commenting, OK.
My last comment is fake fake fake.
OK, Yep. Jenny and Summit.
OK, so we're going back to the aftermath of this big party, the
puja with the aunt who walked off.
(20:00):
They're still talking age gap. It's nonsense.
This is an old storyline. We've already dealt with it.
We don't need to bring it up again.
I think this was a plant having the aunt do a a big hysterical
show and and leave just a littlebit of drama for the camera
because Summit doesn't care. Jenny should not care.
She probably doesn't. And the parents both stood up
(20:20):
for the couple, so. Who cares?
Yeah. The when he was talking about
his mom being cheerful. I wonder if it's because she
really accepts Jenny or if it's because she only accepts Jenny
because that's the only way she will be able to have summate
close to her. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what's going on with Sadhna's brain, but that's
that could be. I would be equally willing to
(20:41):
accept that Sadhna fully acceptsJenny and or she only accepts
her because it's the only way forward.
It could be the way also, So I don't know.
On another, on another note, I wonder if this was really
Sumeet's intention all like thisentire time to move back in with
his parents because that's wherehe wanted to be and now he's
(21:03):
successful. So I think all of this, you
know, with Jenny saying, you know, I'm not going to be able
to live like this. I think this is her life now.
Like he's got what he wanted andthere's going to be no way that
he's going to he's going to allow them to move out.
He's going to do everything thathe possibly can to make sure
that they don't make enough money to be able to move.
Yeah, well, it is paradoxical. They ostensibly moved in with
(21:27):
the parents because they were having a crisis of not having
enough money. So therefore they go on another
TLC show where they're both making money every time they're
on an episode, which means they have enough to pay the rent of
their own place. Yeah, but it doesn't play into
the storyline, you see? Yeah, I know.
So again, fake fake, fake. Yay.
Shall we read on with our new couple?
(21:48):
Wow. Yes.
OK, I've already forgotten. And how to say her name is Patia
is 58 from Texas, Ellen, 38 fromAustralia.
This was impressive. She's been an exotic dancer for
37 years. Wow.
She's in great shape. She looks fantastic.
She looks. Incredible for her age and some
(22:09):
of the moves that she was doing.I would not be capable of doing
that. Like she's so impressive as a
woman and as an entertainer, yes.
And then when we found out that Dylan is a plumber, I was like,
oh, ha, ha. That's so funny because that's a
really good so-called career forwhen you're a stripper and you
have to dress up like the fireman or the plumber or the
(22:33):
construction worker. And then it turns out that he's
an exotic dancer, too. In fact, he's the only exotic
dancer in his town. Male.
Male exotic dancer. Yeah.
He really hit his niche in that one.
Where do? They find these people.
They have two exotic dancers. So, you know, typically I don't
(22:55):
want to talk about people's sex lives, but given the fact that
they're both adult entertainers,I really wonder how incredible
their sex is, especially with both of them being in such great
shape. And, you know, with her, I don't
know how else to say this, but like dancing on the pole, that
would have to translate into, you know, just like, great
positions and great endurance. And anyway, moving on.
(23:18):
So they've been together for 12 years.
OK, so we we filled in a few blanks this week, which was
fantastic because when we'd heard before that they've been
together for 12 years, would have broken up 20 times.
You and I had some major questions and it turned out they
have lived together for seven years in the States, for one
year in Thailand. They have been engaged before,
(23:39):
but interestingly she has never been to Australia.
She's never been to Tasmania to visit him, which I thought was
pretty remarkable given how muchtime they've been together, but
also given she's making this leap of moving there permanently
without even having seen the place or experienced it.
I don't think I could do that. I think that's a terrifying move
(24:02):
for her. Does she not know the size of
the spiders down there? And the quantity.
Yeah, that that too. No, no.
Not just spiders, snakes, Crocs.Everything down in Australia
wants to kill you, yeah. Just about.
Sharks. I mean, I'm not sure if this is
(24:23):
true, but I'm going to call it the shark capital of the world
with shark attacks. But I don't know about that.
Anyway, I don't I. Take issue because sharks don't
want to eat people. They accidentally bite people,
which sometimes turns fatal. But the like jellyfish box
jellyfish get stung by one of those, You're done.
I'm just saying that it is terrifying place to be.
(24:44):
Yes, and. The fact that she hasn't gone to
visit is worrisome. Yes.
She said that they were living together in Vegas for seven
years, but he had to leave because of visa issues.
What kind of visa issues can youhave after living there for
seven years? Well, maybe he was there on a
working visa of some kind and his sponsor employer no longer
(25:07):
wanted him. I don't.
Know, I don't know either. I was just, I was curious, you
know, maybe he overstayed his, his working visa.
Maybe that's why he hasn't been back.
I mean, that's the reason why they went to to Thailand.
Then she also said that they broke up after Thailand.
So did he move back home to Australia after Thailand or did
(25:30):
he come back and then go back toAustralia?
I got the impression, yeah, I got the impression he went back
to Australia after Thailand and she went back to the US after
Thailand. So at this point they haven't
had a second proposal. But Patias says that he will
propose to her, which I thought was a little bit naive or just
(25:52):
not wealth, maybe wishful thinking, but not well planned
out. Because if she's making this
huge move to a place she's neverexperienced before, she doesn't
know if she's going to like it. But she's also having to do what
she did before when she moved toThailand, which is to sell all
of her things. Like that's that's major.
And you don't know that you're going to be able to stay in
(26:14):
Australia because you don't havea proposal.
You're not married yet. Lots of variables here, doesn't
seem like she's really put all of her ducks in a row properly
for this to work out. Maybe I'm just being a little
bit of a worry wart here, but I feel like there's there's some
big gaps in the story. She said that the engagement and
(26:35):
most of their breakups were due to jealousy and insecurity.
Not great, no saw that coming. But the fact that they've broken
up so many times over the past 12 years is a huge red flag.
The fact that he proposed and then took it back, huge red
flag. At what point has he shown you
that he's actually willing to put in the effort to be in this
(26:58):
relationship on a committed level?
Like where does that trust come from at this point?
Have you been able to rebuild it?
When was the last time that you broke up?
What was the last reason why youbroke U?
Have you been able to work through your issues?
Have you gotten over your jealousy and your insecurities?
Have you discussed marriage? How do you know that he's going
to propose to you? So many questions.
(27:20):
Absolutely, lots and lots of questions and that disturbed me,
as well as the fact that she keeps talking in terms of this
move to Australia as being the last time.
There's no more chances. This is a final try.
Everything was like this is the last one.
If it doesn't work out this time, we're done.
It's over. Finito.
(27:41):
I'm not sure that that's a greatapproach given their history of
breakup and get back together again.
And also given the fact that she's never never been there
before. So she's going to have to adapt
not just to being with him and working through whatever
jealousy issues they do have in their relationship, but also the
the finality of it. Like if this doesn't work, then
(28:02):
it's finished. So I have to make it work.
You know what I mean? It's a lot of and I think that
if she had a little bit of knowledge of what she was
stepping into just for the town he lives in, the countryside,
whatever, she would feel more relaxed about it.
But the way that she's going into it with this high tension,
(28:23):
high stress, I don't know if it's the best approach.
I wouldn't say so because it's not like she's walking into it,
you know, with open arms. You know, I'm going to try
everything that I possibly can to make it work.
It's starting out with that negativity.
This is the last time. Is that really how you want to
walk into it? Yeah.
And have you talked to him aboutit?
Yeah, Is he? And it sounds like he's the one
who walks away all the time, that she doesn't give up maybe
(28:45):
quite as easy as he does. And whose jealousy is it, by the
way? Is it hers?
Is it his? Is it both of theirs?
Where does this come from? I don't think she specified.
And then I also wondered if, because she said that she was
going to hang her boots up when when she moves there, is he also
going to quit the entertainment business while she's while she's
(29:10):
there? Or is he going to continue?
And is that going to exacerbate the jealousy and insecurities if
they're on on her part? Because how can he be jealous
when she's not dancing anymore? We don't.
We don't have enough informationon this couple yet, though there
are some very concerning red flags.
(29:32):
I agree. Do you have any other comments
or shall we wrap it up for this week?
No, I think I'm good. OK, so before we go, if you're
enjoying the 90 Day Fiance Honestly podcast, please
subscribe to or give a show a follow.
And if you have another moment, please rate US and help other 90
Day fans to find the show. Thanks for listening.
Thanks everyone. See you next week.
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