September 23, 2025 • 37 mins
Have you ever spent hours preparing for guests, only to have them cancel at the last minute? Or maybe you're the one who's confirmed attendance with the best intentions, but when the day arrives, your social battery is completely drained?
In this candid mother-daughter conversation, Jane and Bobbi tackle the evolving landscape of social commitments and the frustrating phenomenon of last-minute cancellations. Jane shares her perspective as someone who loves entertaining, recounting the considerable effort and expense that goes into hosting events like their famous Low Country Boils—where Dr. Domain meticulously sources the freshest seafood, conducts taste tests, and prepares for days, only to sometimes face disappointing turnouts despite confirmations. Meanwhile, Bobbi offers the introvert's viewpoint, explaining how social anxiety and limited "social battery" can make following through on commitments genuinely challenging.
Whether you're a dedicated host frustrated by no-shows or someone who struggles with the social obligation of attending every event you're invited to, this episode offers valuable insights into finding balance and maintaining courtesy in our social commitments. As Jane wisely concludes: "Enjoy the presence, not the presents."
Subscribe now and join our weekly conversations where nothing is off-limits between this refreshingly honest Boomer and Gen X duo.
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, hello, hello and welcome everyone to today's
show.
Boomer and the Gen X arewalking to a bar, coming to you
from the rabbit hole studio,where you, as our listeners,
will experience some wit andwisdom, some smart assery, and
this mother and, I still think,that daughter down there are
wondering are we even related?
(00:25):
My name is Jane, my co-host ismy daughter, bobby, and for the
next several minutes we're goingto entertain you, bobby, how's
it going?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
today it's going good .
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm doing really well , I feel like I'm pumped up on
caffeine, but I'm not really hey, I see you got the chicken with
you.
I do.
What's his name?
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
His name is Richard Cranium III.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Is that dickhead?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
It is the third.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
The third, okay had to put some regalness behind it.
Yeah, I guess you know he's notno, kfc chicken.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I mean he's a slim chicken, he's got no wings, so
he can't be a he got.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
He got a little leggies.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
He got some drumsticks.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
There got some little legs and little beak, yep, and
he's still clicking, clucking,clicking clucking.
I don't know, I don't know, hey.
So, uh, what's new pussycat?
Not a whole lot.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, yeah, just working, making money and
avoiding people at all costs.
I getcha, I getcha.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You know, there's times when I'm okay with being
around crowds and being aroundpeople and other times it's like
not interested.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I got like maybe five minutes With people With people
Five minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Sometimes I do too, yeah, and then I'm done gets
into our topic today, which isinvitations, confirmations and
last minute cancellations yeahum, because a lot of times we
get invited to stuff or maybe wedon't get invited.
That's hurtful too I mean notgonna hurt my feelings, but yeah
and the confirmations thatmaybe we're expecting, that we
(02:03):
do get or don't get, and thencancellations.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Or no-shows.
Yeah, just straight up no-shows.
Let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So people used to send out actual hard copy in the
mail invitations.
Right Our SVP.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And I think they still do for weddings and some
weddings they do not.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, weddings, and I think I've gotten a couple for,
like, uh, baptism andquinceaneras and things like
that, yeah, so or even uhgraduations graduations yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
So you get a few of those, but not as many as we
used to.
It used to be like you saidyou'd get the invitation in the
mail, they in the mail, They'dtell you the date you know, and
then you had the RSVP Right.
What's RSVP stand for?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Do any of us know?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh crap, Dr Domaine knows.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I didn't look it up.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
It's French, yeah, reserve.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I think it's like some people say it's like
respond very promptly yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
C'est la jambe.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You just pulled that out of your butt.
So, um, some of us still get afew invitations hard copy,
otherwise most of them comethrough either facebook,
facebook email yeah textmessaging.
Some even come throughinstagram.
Yep, um, you know, there's alot of times you get an
invitation to anybody that's onthe system and it's like
wouldn't that be funny if abunch of people really showed up
(03:31):
?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I think that'd be awesome if you just kind of put
it out there and you're like heyparty at this time, and then
you got like 250 people that youdon't even know show up.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool, Imean that's kind of what used
to happen, you know, back inhigh school, but it was more of
a word of mouth type thing or alittle tiny flyer that someone
would print out the day before,and say hey, here's the
directions to the cornfield thatwe're partying in.
(03:54):
And, yeah, tell your parentsyeah, because it was.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It was always back in the timber or back.
Oh yeah, you know somebody'sabandoned barn.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know that has been fallen down for ages.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, just don't smoke in the barn, you'll see it
on fire, Right right.
Yep.
So I've experienced this and Iassume some of our listeners
have experienced it too.
Is you invite people over andlet's say that you're going to
have folks over for a picnic, adinner?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Barbecue, barbecue, yeah, and barbecue is it most of
the time, right?
Because people back in the day,um, if you had an adult
barbecue where there was alcoholthat was going to be served,
kids really weren't invited.
Right now, kids come and seetheir parents get wasted, white
girl wasted yeah white girlwasted or dead ass drunk and uh,
that seems to be okay witheverybody, but I guess that's
(04:43):
probably a different show and uh, we used to have ufo parties oh
, we did have ufo parties, thatis true.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, that's how I forgot my first wine cooler was
at a ufo party when you weren'tlooking.
Yeah, so yeah that is true.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We used to have UFO parties every year and we'd have
people a bunch of our friendscome out and we'd look for UFOs,
Yep.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Grill and drink.
Yeah, do all that good old time.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And then I remember we had a birthday party for your
dad one year and I had tons ofsand dumped in the driveway.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh yeah, the beach party.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Because it was a beach party.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, it was a Hawaiian-themed beach party.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, and I mean just cleaning up that sand.
We had to get the skid loadaround and everything to get the
sand out of there.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It was a good idea at the time.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It was a good idea, as it turned out, it was
probably a little bit too much.
And then the other one was oneof his birthdays and I want to
say it was his 30th birthday.
I don't even remember if wewere together at 30 years old,
yeah and um, I had a casket,yeah, and had the food all set
up, yeah, in the casket andeverything was associated with
(05:58):
you know, yeah, yeah.
So we had some pretty goodparties, so we had a lot of
people that would show up.
I remember we used I shouldn'teven tell this, but we would
take a couple of grocery cartsand we had a big hill by our
house oh yeah, and we had thegrocery down the hill yeah, and
the guys would push the grocerycarts and they'd go down and it
(06:21):
would cross a highway yeah, andit was.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
it wasn't like a small, I mean, it was a two lane
highway, but man, that suckerwas busy because we used to sled
down the hill into that samehighway as kids and yeah, it was
great times.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
So back in those days it seemed like when somebody
sent out an invitation or gavean invitation and you confirmed
it, they showed up, you showedup.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, I mean, unless you were deathly ill or you know
your grandma died.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I mean, it was something like oh man, this is
going to be cool.
Yeah, we're going to show upNow.
It seems like and maybe it'sjust me, but a lot of times
people will give a confirmationbecause I know I've done it
myself.
And then at the last minute,they cancel well, maybe it is
just you, maybe they're like Idon't want to hurt her feelings
right now, but um, it isn't justme she scares me, it is then
(07:16):
we're gonna have a spooky party.
That's what there you go no Ithink it's true that I I think
that things have changed alittle bit where you know, I
think it's a good idea, Like andI know I've done this, I've
confirmed too quickly.
You know it's like you get theinvitation and it sounds like oh
man, that sounds like a lot offun, and then, two days before
(07:37):
it rolls around, you're going.
I don't want to go to that.
I don't want to go to that.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
The introverts problem.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and I think that this happens a lot though.
Yeah, and to be honest with you, I find it quite rude.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I find it quite rude with that.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I do that myself well , I've tried really hard over
the last several years not to dothat yeah but people still do
it to me.
And here's what's problematicabout it when, when you're the
one who is hosting and I usuallytell people don't bring
anything.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, because you're going to provide everything I'll
provide everything.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So you need a headcount, I need a headcount,
yeah, and we go out and we buyall the food and everything, and
I'll tell you what's reallyexpensive is when Dr Domain does
the Low Country Boils, becausethat's a lot of seafood, it's
lobster, it's king crab legs,it's all of that business and
you're spending a buttload ofmoney I wouldn't know.
Yeah, we don't invite you.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I can't eat seafood anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
We don't like you.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I know, but you could still come.
But we don't even invite you?
Yeah, that's okay anyway, um,we've invited you to christmas
though we've invited you tochristmas and thanksgiving or
two.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I mean, you know, what do you want from us?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I mean, come on, I think it's every other
thanksgiving now at least youknow, I'm kidding, but um, it
gets quite expensive and I knowit does for several people, yeah
, and I and planning.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I mean it takes a lot of planning and it does,
especially the day of to haveeverything you know ready and
cooked right and things likethat right, because you know I
remember going to the point ofrenting tents and I'm not the
only one.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Other people have, you know, they'll rent a p tent
yeah, they'll rent canopy tentsyeah, make sure that they have
tables and chairs a lot of timesyou can borrow them from the
church or whatever firedepartment fire department.
Yeah, otherwise you gotta goout and rent them from a company
and you're doing all of thatand then people either don't
show or at the last minute, theycancel yeah and you think?
(09:44):
Did you think that I went outtoday and bought this stuff
Because it didn't?
Okay, it took a while.
The last, not the last, but theone seafood boil low country
boil we had here, the first onein Iowa that Dr Domain did.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Which I wasn't invited to.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Gosh, let it go, will you?
You're not going to be invitedto any other Low Country World
either, so Dr Domain went to thedifferent locations to check
out the seafood.
Now, Iowa, of course, is not bythe sea.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, we're landlocked.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We're landlocked so we do not get great seafood.
So you have to kind of shoparound and he went to different
places looking for the bestshrimp, the best crab legs, the
best lobster, whatever it was wewere having, and we did taste
tests.
He brought, he bought certainamounts and brought them home
and I remember I taste tested,of course, the shrimp because
(10:45):
I'm a shrimp person, yeah.
but you know we went to all ofthat trouble and then you know,
people cancel at the last minuteyeah, you got like 25 people
saying I'll be there and like,and you're buying all that food
show up right, yeah, and then Ithink that it's, first of all, I
think it's discourteous, but Iknow that I had done it in the
(11:07):
past and I think what happens ismaybe we're responding to those
invitations too quickly.
I don't know.
What do you think, dr Domain?
I mean, you were involved in ittoo there's probably a certain
amount of that and some.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I mean, just, some people just don't think of that,
they don't think that they'rebeing discourteous, you know, or
rude when they cancel the lastmoment yeah.
It's no big deal.
I mean they didn't go throughthe effort to have to bring me
into the party.
But the reality is you probablydid.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I guess the way I look at it is if I invite you to
come to my house, and I'm doingall of this, I want you to be
there.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
And if you look at the invitation and you go oh, dr
Domain and Jane are having aparty.
I guess we'll have to go.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Just don't go, don't go.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, just say no, I don't need you there.
Yeah, and I think what happensis is people feel obligated and
it's like oh, I mean, how manytimes have you heard I gotta go
to this party tonight?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I really don't want to go well, I mean, I'm like
that though because I'm a realintrovert.
So, you know, being aroundpeople I don't have a lot of
social battery, you know, and II run out real quick of
tolerance and patience,especially for people who get
stupid drunk at these places,you know, at these things, and
(12:34):
they just go to just get wastedand do stupid shit.
I mean I do too.
Okay, yeah, there are placesthat you know, I do that too.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
There's times we've sat back and just watched.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
But I mean, yeah, a lot of people.
It is a social battery typething where they just they don't
have it in them.
You know they get it.
They go up to that day thinkingwe're going to do this, here's
my outfit, I'm going to do, andthen the day of, you know the
anxiety and things take over andyou go God, I just don't think
I can do this.
I'm tired, you know, maybe I'veworked all week and I just want
(13:09):
to stay home and relax.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But don't you think that you could plan ahead for
that?
I mean, you know you're goingto work all week.
You know you're going to betired on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well, I mean, I know I'm going to work all week, but
it's whether or not I have all16 hour shifts all week, type of
thing, you know I don till thelast minute.
So, yeah, there are times whereI'm like yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And then I'm like the day of, I'm just like please
let there be a natural disasterwhere I can't even get to the
house, type of thing.
Yeah, yeah, and how muchphysical effort is there to sit
there and drink and socialize alot, a lot especially if it's
people that you're not around alot, I gotta get up get myself
another beer.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Well, I mean, you know you have to talk to people.
Maybe you don't really talk tothat, maybe you don't like per
se, and you have to kind of puton that face.
And that is draining to put ona face of hey, everybody, it's
going great and I want to talkto you, and I want to talk to
you, and I want to talk to youand I want to talk to you.
(14:08):
It's like shut up and sit downand drink your beer.
Okay, don't talk to me, justleave me alone I gotta go along
with bobby here on that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I now dr domain.
He, he loves being out now Iwill tell you social butterfly.
But here's the deal.
The guy is funnier than hellhere at home.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I mean, he is he is fun, but he has to reel it in
when he's in public, right?
No, when we go out in public,oh yeah, he's like he doesn't
hardly say anything.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, and it's like he's.
He's not funny when he's out,he's just quiet but here's the
thing I'll go why aren't youtalking to these guys?
Well, I'm just listening.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Well yeah, he's an observer I know that yeah, he's
an observer, but at the sametime he's like me.
You don't know, you can'treally gauge the people's
reactions.
So like, if I tell kind of anoff-color joke, am I going to be
ostracized and hanged by myfeet, or are these people going
to laugh with me, like?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm scared to tell it to say things and there's and
there's the difference betweenme and you.
There's the biggest difference,because I will tell the joke
and laugh my ass off all bymyself I know, but I think I'm
funny.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think I've been hit in the face too many times iffy
on that thing.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, I don't even care.
I mean I'll sit down and I'lltalk to anybody.
You know that, yeah, and youknow dr domain knows it too.
I mean I can be walking downthe street, I'll talk to anybody
and anybody will talk to methat's the whole thing, it's
tragic isn't it.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, she's walking down the street with her don't
touch me shirt on.
Yeah, right, or she's inwalmart.
Oh my gosh, are you gettingthat?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Oh my gosh, are you getting that oh?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
my gosh, let me help you.
It's like shut up and let usget out of this store.
I don't do that.
She knows it's her.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I do not, she wants to know the cashier's whole life
story.
You are so full of it You're sofull of crap why they're
working today on a holiday.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No, working today on a holiday, no, I don't do that
because I don't want to start aconversation, because I really
don't care most times okay, soit's not like I do that.
But I have said, hey, how youdoing today and they'll go fine,
and I'll go.
Are you really?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
do you really care, though?
I mean like honestly, do youreally?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
care if I ask that sometimes I do I mean I was in
walmart and now that you mentionit, and this little gal was
checking me out, and I go, hey,how you doing today?
And she goes I'm fine.
And she kind of took a breathand I go, are you really?
And she goes not really.
And I go, what's going on?
And she starts telling me aboutthe work there and whatever.
And I don't want to work atwalmart either, right, right no
(16:44):
one does, who does?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
no one quit.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I mean, the worst job in the world has got to be a
personal shopper.
Who the hell wants to do?
that yeah, customer service andpersonal shoppers, so anyway she
starts telling me a little bitand I said you know you can't
think about that stuff you gotto think about.
You know what your job is andyou do the best you can and
whatever.
Gave her that little pep talk,but.
And you do the best you can andwhatever, gave her that little
(17:08):
pep talk, but I will only take aminute or two to give that pep
talk, then I'm out of there.
Okay, don't engage me inanything else.
Now you, dr Domain, every timeyou ask me about somebody you'll
go who's that?
And I'll go oh, that's Susie.
And you'll go what'd she do?
I don't know who she married to.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I don't know, I don't know how many kids does she
have and he'll go he'll go.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Wasn't that her husband over there?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
You clearly know more than I do you go find out how
about that?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
because I don't care and but he will do that.
He will like engage in thesedeep discussions.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
It's like why but it is, I don't care.
But you have to think of itlike if you are invited
somewhere, that like, let's say,you did invite me to a country
boil which will never happen andyou invite your friends, your
guys' friends, okay, most likelyI don't know them, unless
they're family.
I don't know them, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
The food all tastes the same, whether you know the
other people or not.
Well, yeah, yeah, but you haveto, there's that expectation of
at a social gathering thatyou're actually?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
going to be social and I just I can't handle that.
I think you just go for thefood.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I think here's the difference too, so I'm just
going to sit in the corner going.
Don't talk to me.
Put your mom's shirt on, don'thug don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
My daughter running down my face, yeah, so just so
everybody knows my shirt saysfree hugs and then in small
letters it says just kidding,get away from me yep, and I have
one too, and so, um, I thinkyou know, one of the big
differences is I notice that myfriends who are my age or around
my age, uh, they know theirkids as friends really well and
(18:51):
they're adult friends, and sohow does that?
happen and so their kids knowtheir friends like their kids
would know me or their kids, andI don't do that that's weird.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
yeah, yeah, get your own life.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I kind of say that it's like I don't hang out Now.
Picnics or something like thatyes, you kids, you act like
you're not involved.
You are, but when I havefriends, when we have friends
over, I usually don't invite mykids, and maybe that's a bad
thing, but you guys are alwaysso busy and you're working
constantly.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh please, oh thing, but you guys are always so busy
and you're working constantly.
Oh please, oh please.
We're embarrassing.
Let's just be honest, we'reembarrassing.
So there is that.
Yeah, think about you're loudand obnoxious.
Yeah, you are embarrassed andwe fight half the time I have to
say no, that's not my job notreally yeah
no, really that's how it goes.
Yeah, I mean, for what?
20 years people didn't realizeyou had two daughters.
(19:47):
They all thought you had one.
They're like they come up to meand they go are you?
And then say you're my sister'sname?
And I'm like no, I'm Bobby.
And they're like which one areyou where?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
did you come from?
She acts like I never utteredher name.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I'm sure you did, with a few cuss words behind it,
but you know but you know,rolling into that, you know the
whole um socialization of it.
You know there is a newmovement around, at least the
united states, where um we arewatching.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
What are you doing, dr domain?
Is the weirdest monocle oh mygod, this is when we needed to
have the camera rolling thishere why we can't take you
anywhere we can't have nicethings we can't have anything.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
So there is this kind of movement and I'm a part of
this movement where, uh, yeah,about where parents actually
aren't having birthday partiesany longer, yeah, why would you?
I mean, why?
Why would you rent out a space?
Why would you spend hundreds ofdollars to rent out a space?
You send out the invites youknow, maybe their school friends
(20:55):
, things like that and eitheryou get all these rsvp saying,
yeah, we're gonna come, and theydon't show or god forbid, they
do come.
And then you have to deal withthese kids, parents that you
don't even like, like I'm, likeI don't have to be friends with
you just because my kid is likekind of thing.
And then there's also you know,you see a lot of it on social
(21:17):
media and things like that wherethese kids send out these
invites, parents pay for youknow this big party and nobody
shows up.
Not a single person shows up.
And I think that that's justsetting that kid up for
disappointment because you can'trely on other people.
You know what I mean?
(21:37):
Like we're all busy.
I get that.
Anytime that I get an invite toone of my kids' friends'
parties, we go.
It doesn't matter, I will finda way for my child to go,
because a lot of times we're oneof three children who show up.
Yeah, and it's sad to me and Iknow it's heartbreaking for
those kids to know that theythought that they had all these
(22:00):
friends and turns out they havethree, they have acquaintances,
right you know, just like wehave and kids don't understand
that.
They think, you know, they'repure-hearted, they think
everybody's their friend.
They think that anybody whoplays with them on the
playground is their friend.
Whoever sits next to them atlunch is their friend.
They don't understand thedifference between a friend and
an acquaintance.
(22:20):
But you know, my whole thing isI have completely done away with
kids' birthday parties.
I will not have one, I will nothost one, I will not pay for
one.
What we do is we do anexperience.
So every year I ask the kids,when it comes to their birthday,
what do you want to do?
What is it that you want to dofor your birthday?
And they tell me we want to goto the zoo, we want to go to the
(22:45):
science center, we want to gosee a movie.
And I'll let him pick one ortwo friends and say, hey, bring
those one or two friends, we'llgo to dinner, we'll go to this
movie, I'll sit away from you ifI embarrass you, type of thing.
But it kind of solidifies thefact that unfortunately, not
everybody's going to be therefor you, not everybody's going
to show up to your celebrations,let alone when you're at your
(23:07):
worst.
And so pick one or two, we'lldo whatever you want to do.
Here's your gifts, type ofthing, and yeah, I mean it is a
big movement.
Now because it just I don'tknow.
I'm kind of torn because I dosee all these social media posts
of these little kids just intears because nobody showed up
at their birthday party.
Well, as a parent, that's myjob to not set them up for that.
(23:31):
So I'm not going to, I'm noteven going to give it an
opportunity to happen I thinkit's nice to just do it as a
family anyway well, I'm nottalking.
Family birthday parties I'mtalking.
You know their friends, theirschool friends their you know
little neighborhood friends typeof thing.
And, like I said, I think as aparent it is your job to teach
(23:53):
your children the differencebetween friends and
acquaintances, but at the sametime it's also your job not to
set them up for failure I seeyou ready to say something there
, doctor.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm just saying I think.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
I think we as parents , if you're talking about a
child's birthday party, we setexpectations.
We're the ones that talk aboutit.
Otherwise, a kid doesn't knowthat day from any other day.
They know they were born thatday, but they don't know that
there's all this pomp andcircumstance that mom and dad
(24:25):
had built this big thing upwhere they're going to have a
birthday party and a pony andall kinds of stuff.
Well, I don't think it's justthe parents I think it's society
too yeah there's part of that,and I think in general we tend
to celebrate it over the top.
I celebrate one birthday a year, pretty hard, and that's
December 25th, but you had alittle bit of a birthday party
Happy birthday, baby Jesus.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Happy birthday baby Jesus, sweet little baby Jesus.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
But you had a birthday.
I just did a little thing.
I tried to decorate the placeup and recognize, hey, it's your
birthday.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
First year you took me to New.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Zealand.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Ever since then I got Kmart stuff.
I was going to say, wow, way toset the bar high there, buddy.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
This is exactly the problem.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm talking about yeah, you set the bar high.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
And then every year afterwards top yourself.
So you know what happened.
It was so much pressure on it.
I felt so much pressure to haveto throw a party in my past
life or have a big event.
Or it's not a birthday, it's abirthday week or birthday month
or some kind of horseshit likethat.
It's like it's a day.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'm gonna wear my crown all month in my sash.
I think think the reason thatyou know.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I called a birthday week is because during the week
everybody's still saying happybirthday.
It isn't just that day, theysay it, they say it throughout
the week, and so it isn't likethey're celebrating my week.
A lot of people would send menotes and say, hey, I missed
your birthday, or hey, happybirthday, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I get like three Really.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
You, dad and my sister, Happy birthday week.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Happy birthday month.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Oh, happy birthday century.
I know a lot of millennialsthat actually do.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
They'll be like oh, happy birthday month.
It's so special.
All month we have to celebrateyou.
And here's your crown and yourgolden shoes.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Get over yourself, you self-absorbed narcissist.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's like what was your mother in labor the entire
month.
I mean bless her heart forhaving to deal with you.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So you know we've talked about birthdays and stuff
and invitations like that anddinner parties.
What about like weddings andshowers?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So there's two things I don't do, and everybody knows
it, so I don't know why theykeep sending me invitations.
I don't do weddings and I don'tdo funerals, and here's why
number one weddings I, I, really, I truly I just don't believe
in them.
Unless I'm there to just causechaos, I will not go to a
(26:44):
wedding funerals.
I want to know who invited youto funerals I don't go to
because that's not how I want toremember that person.
So if that person was importantenough in my life that I would
even consider going to a funeral, then I have better memories of
(27:06):
them.
Now if it's a celebration oflife, yeah I might go to it and
you know, just be around, youknow family and friends and
things like that.
But I have funeral trauma, man,I swear I do from a lot of
funerals and I just can't do itanymore.
If I'm going to celebrate yourend of life, I should be there
celebrating your life throughoutit.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I'm going to come back to the funeral part, okay,
so hang on to that ticket item.
But I do want to talk aboutweddings and showers and that
sort of thing, because now a lotof the showers it used to be
that you had the bridal showerand so it was just the women.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Oh, I thought you were talking about baby shower.
Okay, we that you had thebridal shower and so it was just
the women.
Oh, I thought you were talkingabout baby shower.
Okay, we'll talk about babyshowers too.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Okay, I want to talk about any type of event like
that, whether it's a baby,whether it's bridal, whether
it's invitation, whatever nowyou have.
Oh, we're going to have anengagement party bring me a gift
.
Uh, now we're going to have anannouncement party.
Bring me a gift.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Here's my gift list.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah now we're going to have a regular shower for
both of us the week before thewedding.
Bring a gift.
Now we're having my wedding.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Bring a gift.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And now we need to have some money.
Now we have to have some moneyto go on our honeymoon Drop us
something in Denmark and thoseones that have like a dollar
amount yeah you have to bring agift over a hundred dollars or
you're not going to be invited,type of thing.
Yeah, well, I and you know, Iknow the reason for that is
(28:34):
because there's so much investedin the wedding itself, but you
chose that's your problem.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Yeah, you, I spent eight hundred dollars on my
wedding, like get bent, get bent.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
The other part of it is like when you're going to
have a baby.
Yeah, oh, we're going to havethe announcement party.
Now we're going to have the.
You know where they determinethe sex.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Gender reveal.
Gender reveal party because, ohmy, God, we all want to go to
those.
Nobody cares what's in yourkid's diaper.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
And then we're going to have the baby shower.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
And then, once the baby's born, if you could just
buy us some Uber Eats tickets.
Oh, and I need a birth presentfor when the baby's born.
Yeah, so you know, there's allthese presents that you have to
buy what was it like maybe 10people showed up to my baby
shower for my first actual, likeborn child?
Speaker 1 (29:28):
And there was over like 25 30 people who rsvp'd,
and 10 of them more than that.
No, no, I did not.
I threw for you.
Yes, no, there was more and itwas all family.
No, you had more than that butit was.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I didn't have any friends I didn't have, and not a
single friend showed up to minewhen I had repeatedly showed up
over and over again for them.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
It can be sad as it relates to that, so I'm sorry
for that.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I cut off a lot of friends after that I'm sorry for
that type of trauma that youwent through.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That was not trauma, it was just bullshit.
I'm just really sorry for that.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Well, I mean it's just a reason why I don't you
know like it goes back to thebirthday party thing.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
We will show up for you, but I think some of the
invitations are getting a littleout of hand here.
You know you don't need a partyevery time you take a dump, or
every time you know, I mean it'slike oh, you know, I got new
nails, I'm gonna have a partyfor it.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Or you know, I got a new haircut well, and it's like
with social media, especiallywith, like the gender reveals.
Just announce it on socialmedia, like we don't need a
party with an airplane flying bydropping little confettis of
whatever color it is.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, like stop because, to be honest with you,
the only ones who really careabout that our mom and dad, our
mom and dad, maybe grandma andgrandpa yeah everybody else is
like shit, we got to be hereright like hey, here's a pack of
diapers, yeah, you're going totrade them in anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
So, president, was you know?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah, so yeah, so, um , I guess I'm with you on that
whole thing.
Uh, I do want to come back towhat was a funeral funerals
funerals.
What was I going?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
to say I had no idea for not showing up to funerals.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
No, I wasn't going to do that, but who gets invited
to a funeral?
That's all I want to know iswho gets invited to that?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Me apparently no you don't.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
No one what like the dead person sends out an invite.
No, the family does.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
The family says hey, here's the funeral information
and you need to show up by thistime and things like that.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
That's called an announcement.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Well, no, not when it's a text message directly to
me.
That's not an announcement.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Please provide your donations.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
An announcement is hey, so-and-so died.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
That's an announcement, If you want to do
something for them, a charitableevent.
Please plant a tree.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
What's wrong with?
Speaker 1 (31:37):
that.
Nothing, I'm just saying thatthat's part of the announcement,
but you had mentioned what doyou?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
call it Her brain froze.
It did.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Celebration of life.
Celebration of life.
Celebration of life.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
And so Dr Domaine and I just had this conversation
about, because he was like whatis a celebration of life?
I always go to the funerals.
And now it's celebration oflife and we kind of had that
same conversation that Bobbyjust had is why are you going to
a celebration of life when youdidn't celebrate their life when
(32:11):
they were alive, right, right,and so wouldn't you rather spend
the time with them whilethey're alive?
I don't know, maybe not, maybethey were shitty.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
But if that's the case, don't go to their
celebration.
Yeah, what are you going tocelebrate?
What life are you going tocelebrate?
That's like I've always saiddon't bring flowers to my
funeral because you didn't bringthem to me when I was alive
like don't bother the why youknow what I mean.
But I'm just saying you know, alot of people have a
celebration of life because theycan't afford a funeral.
I'm gonna bring you little minitravels of alcohol what good is
(32:43):
that I can't drink them.
Bring them now the hell, but no,like celebration of life.
A lot of times is because theycan't afford a funeral they have
a cremation.
That's what I told him and theycan't afford the funeral costs
cost effective it's very andit's very expensive to have a
funeral.
But if you, you know, have acelebration of life, it's kind
(33:05):
of like a potluck everybody canbring a little something.
We talk about the person youknow, good or bad, good or bad,
we remember them for that day.
Maybe we have t-shirts with,you know, their picture with
wings on it, I don't know Idon't know what say what?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
you know, yeah, somebody probably has done that
well, or they put out theballoons.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I've threatened to put people on a t-shirt with
wings.
But yeah, you know, you have thelittle t-shirts in memory of
with their picture with wingsbehind it things like that but
you know, and sometimes it'seven I hate to say this, but
sometimes it's even a littlefundraiser where they ask people
to donate um for end-of-lifecosts, especially if it's like a
drawn-out sickness things likethat, where they ask people to
(33:45):
donate um for end-of-life costs,especially if it's like a
drawn-out sickness things likethat where they do have bills
and they ask people, if you can,you know, donate, and it goes
directly to the family that dayso that they can pay.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
And I don't mind that , I really don't mind that and I
don't mind, you know if I knowthat they're hard-pressed, you
know, and they need the money umyou know I've done that before,
but I mean, if I haven't, seenthat person in 10 or 15 years.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Why would I go celebrate their life when I
wasn't in it anymore?
Right, you know?
I just yeah, no, I, Iunderstand it's almost like you
know people want to be about thenumbers, like how many people
can we get here?
Can we get 100 people here tocelebrate this person's life?
Okay, well, well, if fivepeople show up, then that's five
people that actually caredabout me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
So, getting back to the invitations, the uh you know
attending, and then thecancellations, and one thing
that I would leave our listenerswith is that you know when you
get an invitation.
If you're really not sure, oryou have had a habit, or maybe
not even a habit, you've had atendency to potentially cancel
(34:52):
at the last minute.
Don't put the host on the spotlike that.
Just wait, just wait.
You know, if you feel like youhave to wait on the RSVP, you
can always tell them.
Listen, you know.
I just don't know yet.
I don't know what my workweek's going to look like.
I'm going to try to be there,but I don't know what my work
week's going to look like.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I don't know what's going on with the kids, you know
, but I will let you know bythis date and I'll even step it
up one you know, if it's like abarbecue or something like that,
you don't know till the morningof that you're coming.
Give them a ring and say, hey,you know we're coming, but I
know this is last minute, so I'mgoing to bring a portion of
food so that you don't have toworry about it.
(35:33):
Like, don't be an asshole aboutit, just be like hey, I know
that I made an inconvenience foryou.
Let me make it right.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I'd still like to come see you, type of thing
right and and if you feel like,oh, bobby sent me this
invitation and I guess we haveto go, don't go so you'll never
come into anything for me again,right, because?
No, I didn't say that.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I just used you as an example no, because I know that
you get that text message going.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Oh my god, every party you have is at my house
anyway, so I don't ever have toworry about it.
But that's because you have anice house and big yard so, um,
you know, I would just ask youto be courteous to people in
that way and, if you know, ifyou feel like, oh, I don't
really want to go, then don't goright you know, don't, don't
put them on the spot like thatand if you can at all, please,
(36:23):
you know, be courteous enoughand professional enough and just
be a friend.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
They invited you right for a reason, and on both
ends.
I mean enjoy the presence, notthe presence that they bring
enjoy their presence.
You know if I invite you to mykids birthday party.
I'm not expecting you to showup with a present.
I'm expecting you to be there,show up for your kid, show up
and say hey, here I am, I'm herefor you.
(36:49):
I don't care if you have moneyor not.
If I invite you somewhere andyou think you got to bring a
gift, don't?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
don't you're not gonna hurt my feeling yeah, no,
I think that's a good saying,bobby, I like that, and with
that I think I'm done for theday.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
I think that is all the insanity that we have for
today, but we do appreciate youjoining us here at our rabbit
hole studio, so be sure tofollow us.
We look forward to spendingtime with you each and every
week.
Please like us, and if you havepositive feedback or if there's
a topic or a question that youwould like us to talk about,
drop us a short email atboomerandjenexer at gmailcom.
(37:26):
And if you have hate mail, well, you can send it to me, but I
will not RSVP.
So until next week, I'm Bobbie,Joy Fair warning.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And I'm Jane Burt and you're stuck with us.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Peace out Later.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome everyone to today's
show.
Boomer and the Gen X arewalking to a bar, coming to you
from the rabbit hole studio,where you, as our listeners,
will experience some wit andwisdom, some smart assery, and
this mother and, I still think,that daughter down there are
wondering are we even related?
(00:25):
My name is Jane, my co-host ismy daughter, bobby, and for the
next several minutes we're goingto entertain you, bobby, how's
it going?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
today it's going good .
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm doing really well , I feel like I'm pumped up on
caffeine, but I'm not really hey, I see you got the chicken with
you.
I do.
What's his name?
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
His name is Richard Cranium III.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Is that dickhead?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
It is the third.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
The third, okay had to put some regalness behind it.
Yeah, I guess you know he's notno, kfc chicken.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I mean he's a slim chicken, he's got no wings, so
he can't be a he got.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
He got a little leggies.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
He got some drumsticks.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
There got some little legs and little beak, yep, and
he's still clicking, clucking,clicking clucking.
I don't know, I don't know, hey.
So, uh, what's new pussycat?
Not a whole lot.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, yeah, just working, making money and
avoiding people at all costs.
I getcha, I getcha.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You know, there's times when I'm okay with being
around crowds and being aroundpeople and other times it's like
not interested.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I got like maybe five minutes With people With people
Five minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Sometimes I do too, yeah, and then I'm done gets
into our topic today, which isinvitations, confirmations and
last minute cancellations yeahum, because a lot of times we
get invited to stuff or maybe wedon't get invited.
That's hurtful too I mean notgonna hurt my feelings, but yeah
and the confirmations thatmaybe we're expecting, that we
(02:03):
do get or don't get, and thencancellations.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Or no-shows.
Yeah, just straight up no-shows.
Let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So people used to send out actual hard copy in the
mail invitations.
Right Our SVP.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And I think they still do for weddings and some
weddings they do not.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, weddings, and I think I've gotten a couple for,
like, uh, baptism andquinceaneras and things like
that, yeah, so or even uhgraduations graduations yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
So you get a few of those, but not as many as we
used to.
It used to be like you saidyou'd get the invitation in the
mail, they in the mail, They'dtell you the date you know, and
then you had the RSVP Right.
What's RSVP stand for?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Do any of us know?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh crap, Dr Domaine knows.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I didn't look it up.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
It's French, yeah, reserve.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I think it's like some people say it's like
respond very promptly yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
C'est la jambe.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You just pulled that out of your butt.
So, um, some of us still get afew invitations hard copy,
otherwise most of them comethrough either facebook,
facebook email yeah textmessaging.
Some even come throughinstagram.
Yep, um, you know, there's alot of times you get an
invitation to anybody that's onthe system and it's like
wouldn't that be funny if abunch of people really showed up
(03:31):
?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I think that'd be awesome if you just kind of put
it out there and you're like heyparty at this time, and then
you got like 250 people that youdon't even know show up.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool, Imean that's kind of what used
to happen, you know, back inhigh school, but it was more of
a word of mouth type thing or alittle tiny flyer that someone
would print out the day before,and say hey, here's the
directions to the cornfield thatwe're partying in.
(03:54):
And, yeah, tell your parentsyeah, because it was.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It was always back in the timber or back.
Oh yeah, you know somebody'sabandoned barn.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know that has been fallen down for ages.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, just don't smoke in the barn, you'll see it
on fire, Right right.
Yep.
So I've experienced this and Iassume some of our listeners
have experienced it too.
Is you invite people over andlet's say that you're going to
have folks over for a picnic, adinner?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Barbecue, barbecue, yeah, and barbecue is it most of
the time, right?
Because people back in the day,um, if you had an adult
barbecue where there was alcoholthat was going to be served,
kids really weren't invited.
Right now, kids come and seetheir parents get wasted, white
girl wasted yeah white girlwasted or dead ass drunk and uh,
that seems to be okay witheverybody, but I guess that's
(04:43):
probably a different show and uh, we used to have ufo parties oh
, we did have ufo parties, thatis true.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, that's how I forgot my first wine cooler was
at a ufo party when you weren'tlooking.
Yeah, so yeah that is true.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We used to have UFO parties every year and we'd have
people a bunch of our friendscome out and we'd look for UFOs,
Yep.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Grill and drink.
Yeah, do all that good old time.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And then I remember we had a birthday party for your
dad one year and I had tons ofsand dumped in the driveway.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh yeah, the beach party.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Because it was a beach party.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, it was a Hawaiian-themed beach party.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, and I mean just cleaning up that sand.
We had to get the skid loadaround and everything to get the
sand out of there.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It was a good idea at the time.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It was a good idea, as it turned out, it was
probably a little bit too much.
And then the other one was oneof his birthdays and I want to
say it was his 30th birthday.
I don't even remember if wewere together at 30 years old,
yeah and um, I had a casket,yeah, and had the food all set
up, yeah, in the casket andeverything was associated with
(05:58):
you know, yeah, yeah.
So we had some pretty goodparties, so we had a lot of
people that would show up.
I remember we used I shouldn'teven tell this, but we would
take a couple of grocery cartsand we had a big hill by our
house oh yeah, and we had thegrocery down the hill yeah, and
the guys would push the grocerycarts and they'd go down and it
(06:21):
would cross a highway yeah, andit was.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
it wasn't like a small, I mean, it was a two lane
highway, but man, that suckerwas busy because we used to sled
down the hill into that samehighway as kids and yeah, it was
great times.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
So back in those days it seemed like when somebody
sent out an invitation or gavean invitation and you confirmed
it, they showed up, you showedup.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, I mean, unless you were deathly ill or you know
your grandma died.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I mean, it was something like oh man, this is
going to be cool.
Yeah, we're going to show upNow.
It seems like and maybe it'sjust me, but a lot of times
people will give a confirmationbecause I know I've done it
myself.
And then at the last minute,they cancel well, maybe it is
just you, maybe they're like Idon't want to hurt her feelings
right now, but um, it isn't justme she scares me, it is then
(07:16):
we're gonna have a spooky party.
That's what there you go no Ithink it's true that I I think
that things have changed alittle bit where you know, I
think it's a good idea, Like andI know I've done this, I've
confirmed too quickly.
You know it's like you get theinvitation and it sounds like oh
man, that sounds like a lot offun, and then, two days before
(07:37):
it rolls around, you're going.
I don't want to go to that.
I don't want to go to that.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
The introverts problem.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and I think that this happens a lot though.
Yeah, and to be honest with you, I find it quite rude.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I find it quite rude with that.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
I do that myself well , I've tried really hard over
the last several years not to dothat yeah but people still do
it to me.
And here's what's problematicabout it when, when you're the
one who is hosting and I usuallytell people don't bring
anything.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, because you're going to provide everything I'll
provide everything.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So you need a headcount, I need a headcount,
yeah, and we go out and we buyall the food and everything, and
I'll tell you what's reallyexpensive is when Dr Domain does
the Low Country Boils, becausethat's a lot of seafood, it's
lobster, it's king crab legs,it's all of that business and
you're spending a buttload ofmoney I wouldn't know.
Yeah, we don't invite you.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I can't eat seafood anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
We don't like you.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I know, but you could still come.
But we don't even invite you?
Yeah, that's okay anyway, um,we've invited you to christmas
though we've invited you tochristmas and thanksgiving or
two.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I mean, you know, what do you want from us?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I mean, come on, I think it's every other
thanksgiving now at least youknow, I'm kidding, but um, it
gets quite expensive and I knowit does for several people, yeah
, and I and planning.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I mean it takes a lot of planning and it does,
especially the day of to haveeverything you know ready and
cooked right and things likethat right, because you know I
remember going to the point ofrenting tents and I'm not the
only one.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Other people have, you know, they'll rent a p tent
yeah, they'll rent canopy tentsyeah, make sure that they have
tables and chairs a lot of timesyou can borrow them from the
church or whatever firedepartment fire department.
Yeah, otherwise you gotta goout and rent them from a company
and you're doing all of thatand then people either don't
show or at the last minute, theycancel yeah and you think?
(09:44):
Did you think that I went outtoday and bought this stuff
Because it didn't?
Okay, it took a while.
The last, not the last, but theone seafood boil low country
boil we had here, the first onein Iowa that Dr Domain did.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Which I wasn't invited to.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Gosh, let it go, will you?
You're not going to be invitedto any other Low Country World
either, so Dr Domain went to thedifferent locations to check
out the seafood.
Now, Iowa, of course, is not bythe sea.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, we're landlocked.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We're landlocked so we do not get great seafood.
So you have to kind of shoparound and he went to different
places looking for the bestshrimp, the best crab legs, the
best lobster, whatever it was wewere having, and we did taste
tests.
He brought, he bought certainamounts and brought them home
and I remember I taste tested,of course, the shrimp because
(10:45):
I'm a shrimp person, yeah.
but you know we went to all ofthat trouble and then you know,
people cancel at the last minuteyeah, you got like 25 people
saying I'll be there and like,and you're buying all that food
show up right, yeah, and then Ithink that it's, first of all, I
think it's discourteous, but Iknow that I had done it in the
(11:07):
past and I think what happens ismaybe we're responding to those
invitations too quickly.
I don't know.
What do you think, dr Domain?
I mean, you were involved in ittoo there's probably a certain
amount of that and some.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I mean, just, some people just don't think of that,
they don't think that they'rebeing discourteous, you know, or
rude when they cancel the lastmoment yeah.
It's no big deal.
I mean they didn't go throughthe effort to have to bring me
into the party.
But the reality is you probablydid.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I guess the way I look at it is if I invite you to
come to my house, and I'm doingall of this, I want you to be
there.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
And if you look at the invitation and you go oh, dr
Domain and Jane are having aparty.
I guess we'll have to go.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Just don't go, don't go.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, just say no, I don't need you there.
Yeah, and I think what happensis is people feel obligated and
it's like oh, I mean, how manytimes have you heard I gotta go
to this party tonight?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I really don't want to go well, I mean, I'm like
that though because I'm a realintrovert.
So, you know, being aroundpeople I don't have a lot of
social battery, you know, and II run out real quick of
tolerance and patience,especially for people who get
stupid drunk at these places,you know, at these things, and
(12:34):
they just go to just get wastedand do stupid shit.
I mean I do too.
Okay, yeah, there are placesthat you know, I do that too.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
There's times we've sat back and just watched.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
But I mean, yeah, a lot of people.
It is a social battery typething where they just they don't
have it in them.
You know they get it.
They go up to that day thinkingwe're going to do this, here's
my outfit, I'm going to do, andthen the day of, you know the
anxiety and things take over andyou go God, I just don't think
I can do this.
I'm tired, you know, maybe I'veworked all week and I just want
(13:09):
to stay home and relax.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
But don't you think that you could plan ahead for
that?
I mean, you know you're goingto work all week.
You know you're going to betired on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well, I mean, I know I'm going to work all week, but
it's whether or not I have all16 hour shifts all week, type of
thing, you know I don till thelast minute.
So, yeah, there are times whereI'm like yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And then I'm like the day of, I'm just like please
let there be a natural disasterwhere I can't even get to the
house, type of thing.
Yeah, yeah, and how muchphysical effort is there to sit
there and drink and socialize alot, a lot especially if it's
people that you're not around alot, I gotta get up get myself
another beer.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Well, I mean, you know you have to talk to people.
Maybe you don't really talk tothat, maybe you don't like per
se, and you have to kind of puton that face.
And that is draining to put ona face of hey, everybody, it's
going great and I want to talkto you, and I want to talk to
you, and I want to talk to youand I want to talk to you.
(14:08):
It's like shut up and sit downand drink your beer.
Okay, don't talk to me, justleave me alone I gotta go along
with bobby here on that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I now dr domain.
He, he loves being out now Iwill tell you social butterfly.
But here's the deal.
The guy is funnier than hellhere at home.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I mean, he is he is fun, but he has to reel it in
when he's in public, right?
No, when we go out in public,oh yeah, he's like he doesn't
hardly say anything.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, and it's like he's.
He's not funny when he's out,he's just quiet but here's the
thing I'll go why aren't youtalking to these guys?
Well, I'm just listening.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Well yeah, he's an observer I know that yeah, he's
an observer, but at the sametime he's like me.
You don't know, you can'treally gauge the people's
reactions.
So like, if I tell kind of anoff-color joke, am I going to be
ostracized and hanged by myfeet, or are these people going
to laugh with me, like?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm scared to tell it to say things and there's and
there's the difference betweenme and you.
There's the biggest difference,because I will tell the joke
and laugh my ass off all bymyself I know, but I think I'm
funny.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think I've been hit in the face too many times iffy
on that thing.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, I don't even care.
I mean I'll sit down and I'lltalk to anybody.
You know that, yeah, and youknow dr domain knows it too.
I mean I can be walking downthe street, I'll talk to anybody
and anybody will talk to methat's the whole thing, it's
tragic isn't it.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, she's walking down the street with her don't
touch me shirt on.
Yeah, right, or she's inwalmart.
Oh my gosh, are you gettingthat?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Oh my gosh, are you getting that oh?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
my gosh, let me help you.
It's like shut up and let usget out of this store.
I don't do that.
She knows it's her.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I do not, she wants to know the cashier's whole life
story.
You are so full of it You're sofull of crap why they're
working today on a holiday.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No, working today on a holiday, no, I don't do that
because I don't want to start aconversation, because I really
don't care most times okay, soit's not like I do that.
But I have said, hey, how youdoing today and they'll go fine,
and I'll go.
Are you really?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
do you really care, though?
I mean like honestly, do youreally?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
care if I ask that sometimes I do I mean I was in
walmart and now that you mentionit, and this little gal was
checking me out, and I go, hey,how you doing today?
And she goes I'm fine.
And she kind of took a breathand I go, are you really?
And she goes not really.
And I go, what's going on?
And she starts telling me aboutthe work there and whatever.
And I don't want to work atwalmart either, right, right no
(16:44):
one does, who does?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
no one quit.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I mean, the worst job in the world has got to be a
personal shopper.
Who the hell wants to do?
that yeah, customer service andpersonal shoppers, so anyway she
starts telling me a little bitand I said you know you can't
think about that stuff you gotto think about.
You know what your job is andyou do the best you can and
whatever.
Gave her that little pep talk,but.
And you do the best you can andwhatever, gave her that little
(17:08):
pep talk, but I will only take aminute or two to give that pep
talk, then I'm out of there.
Okay, don't engage me inanything else.
Now you, dr Domain, every timeyou ask me about somebody you'll
go who's that?
And I'll go oh, that's Susie.
And you'll go what'd she do?
I don't know who she married to.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I don't know, I don't know how many kids does she
have and he'll go he'll go.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Wasn't that her husband over there?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
You clearly know more than I do you go find out how
about that?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
because I don't care and but he will do that.
He will like engage in thesedeep discussions.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
It's like why but it is, I don't care.
But you have to think of itlike if you are invited
somewhere, that like, let's say,you did invite me to a country
boil which will never happen andyou invite your friends, your
guys' friends, okay, most likelyI don't know them, unless
they're family.
I don't know them, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
The food all tastes the same, whether you know the
other people or not.
Well, yeah, yeah, but you haveto, there's that expectation of
at a social gathering thatyou're actually?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
going to be social and I just I can't handle that.
I think you just go for thefood.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I think here's the difference too, so I'm just
going to sit in the corner going.
Don't talk to me.
Put your mom's shirt on, don'thug don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
My daughter running down my face, yeah, so just so
everybody knows my shirt saysfree hugs and then in small
letters it says just kidding,get away from me yep, and I have
one too, and so, um, I thinkyou know, one of the big
differences is I notice that myfriends who are my age or around
my age, uh, they know theirkids as friends really well and
(18:51):
they're adult friends, and sohow does that?
happen and so their kids knowtheir friends like their kids
would know me or their kids, andI don't do that that's weird.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
yeah, yeah, get your own life.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I kind of say that it's like I don't hang out Now.
Picnics or something like thatyes, you kids, you act like
you're not involved.
You are, but when I havefriends, when we have friends
over, I usually don't invite mykids, and maybe that's a bad
thing, but you guys are alwaysso busy and you're working
constantly.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh please, oh thing, but you guys are always so busy
and you're working constantly.
Oh please, oh please.
We're embarrassing.
Let's just be honest, we'reembarrassing.
So there is that.
Yeah, think about you're loudand obnoxious.
Yeah, you are embarrassed andwe fight half the time I have to
say no, that's not my job notreally yeah
no, really that's how it goes.
Yeah, I mean, for what?
20 years people didn't realizeyou had two daughters.
(19:47):
They all thought you had one.
They're like they come up to meand they go are you?
And then say you're my sister'sname?
And I'm like no, I'm Bobby.
And they're like which one areyou where?
Speaker 1 (19:58):
did you come from?
She acts like I never utteredher name.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I'm sure you did, with a few cuss words behind it,
but you know but you know,rolling into that, you know the
whole um socialization of it.
You know there is a newmovement around, at least the
united states, where um we arewatching.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
What are you doing, dr domain?
Is the weirdest monocle oh mygod, this is when we needed to
have the camera rolling thishere why we can't take you
anywhere we can't have nicethings we can't have anything.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
So there is this kind of movement and I'm a part of
this movement where, uh, yeah,about where parents actually
aren't having birthday partiesany longer, yeah, why would you?
I mean, why?
Why would you rent out a space?
Why would you spend hundreds ofdollars to rent out a space?
You send out the invites youknow, maybe their school friends
(20:55):
, things like that and eitheryou get all these rsvp saying,
yeah, we're gonna come, and theydon't show or god forbid, they
do come.
And then you have to deal withthese kids, parents that you
don't even like, like I'm, likeI don't have to be friends with
you just because my kid is likekind of thing.
And then there's also you know,you see a lot of it on social
(21:17):
media and things like that wherethese kids send out these
invites, parents pay for youknow this big party and nobody
shows up.
Not a single person shows up.
And I think that that's justsetting that kid up for
disappointment because you can'trely on other people.
You know what I mean?
(21:37):
Like we're all busy.
I get that.
Anytime that I get an invite toone of my kids' friends'
parties, we go.
It doesn't matter, I will finda way for my child to go,
because a lot of times we're oneof three children who show up.
Yeah, and it's sad to me and Iknow it's heartbreaking for
those kids to know that theythought that they had all these
(22:00):
friends and turns out they havethree, they have acquaintances,
right you know, just like wehave and kids don't understand
that.
They think, you know, they'repure-hearted, they think
everybody's their friend.
They think that anybody whoplays with them on the
playground is their friend.
Whoever sits next to them atlunch is their friend.
They don't understand thedifference between a friend and
an acquaintance.
(22:20):
But you know, my whole thing isI have completely done away with
kids' birthday parties.
I will not have one, I will nothost one, I will not pay for
one.
What we do is we do anexperience.
So every year I ask the kids,when it comes to their birthday,
what do you want to do?
What is it that you want to dofor your birthday?
And they tell me we want to goto the zoo, we want to go to the
(22:45):
science center, we want to gosee a movie.
And I'll let him pick one ortwo friends and say, hey, bring
those one or two friends, we'llgo to dinner, we'll go to this
movie, I'll sit away from you ifI embarrass you, type of thing.
But it kind of solidifies thefact that unfortunately, not
everybody's going to be therefor you, not everybody's going
to show up to your celebrations,let alone when you're at your
(23:07):
worst.
And so pick one or two, we'lldo whatever you want to do.
Here's your gifts, type ofthing, and yeah, I mean it is a
big movement.
Now because it just I don'tknow.
I'm kind of torn because I dosee all these social media posts
of these little kids just intears because nobody showed up
at their birthday party.
Well, as a parent, that's myjob to not set them up for that.
(23:31):
So I'm not going to, I'm noteven going to give it an
opportunity to happen I thinkit's nice to just do it as a
family anyway well, I'm nottalking.
Family birthday parties I'mtalking.
You know their friends, theirschool friends their you know
little neighborhood friends typeof thing.
And, like I said, I think as aparent it is your job to teach
(23:53):
your children the differencebetween friends and
acquaintances, but at the sametime it's also your job not to
set them up for failure I seeyou ready to say something there
, doctor.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm just saying I think.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
I think we as parents , if you're talking about a
child's birthday party, we setexpectations.
We're the ones that talk aboutit.
Otherwise, a kid doesn't knowthat day from any other day.
They know they were born thatday, but they don't know that
there's all this pomp andcircumstance that mom and dad
(24:25):
had built this big thing upwhere they're going to have a
birthday party and a pony andall kinds of stuff.
Well, I don't think it's justthe parents I think it's society
too yeah there's part of that,and I think in general we tend
to celebrate it over the top.
I celebrate one birthday a year, pretty hard, and that's
December 25th, but you had alittle bit of a birthday party
Happy birthday, baby Jesus.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Happy birthday baby Jesus, sweet little baby Jesus.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
But you had a birthday.
I just did a little thing.
I tried to decorate the placeup and recognize, hey, it's your
birthday.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
First year you took me to New.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Zealand.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Ever since then I got Kmart stuff.
I was going to say, wow, way toset the bar high there, buddy.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
This is exactly the problem.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm talking about yeah, you set the bar high.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
And then every year afterwards top yourself.
So you know what happened.
It was so much pressure on it.
I felt so much pressure to haveto throw a party in my past
life or have a big event.
Or it's not a birthday, it's abirthday week or birthday month
or some kind of horseshit likethat.
It's like it's a day.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'm gonna wear my crown all month in my sash.
I think think the reason thatyou know.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I called a birthday week is because during the week
everybody's still saying happybirthday.
It isn't just that day, theysay it, they say it throughout
the week, and so it isn't likethey're celebrating my week.
A lot of people would send menotes and say, hey, I missed
your birthday, or hey, happybirthday, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I get like three Really.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
You, dad and my sister, Happy birthday week.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Happy birthday month.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Oh, happy birthday century.
I know a lot of millennialsthat actually do.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
They'll be like oh, happy birthday month.
It's so special.
All month we have to celebrateyou.
And here's your crown and yourgolden shoes.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Get over yourself, you self-absorbed narcissist.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's like what was your mother in labor the entire
month.
I mean bless her heart forhaving to deal with you.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So you know we've talked about birthdays and stuff
and invitations like that anddinner parties.
What about like weddings andshowers?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So there's two things I don't do, and everybody knows
it, so I don't know why theykeep sending me invitations.
I don't do weddings and I don'tdo funerals, and here's why
number one weddings I, I, really, I truly I just don't believe
in them.
Unless I'm there to just causechaos, I will not go to a
(26:44):
wedding funerals.
I want to know who invited youto funerals I don't go to
because that's not how I want toremember that person.
So if that person was importantenough in my life that I would
even consider going to a funeral, then I have better memories of
(27:06):
them.
Now if it's a celebration oflife, yeah I might go to it and
you know, just be around, youknow family and friends and
things like that.
But I have funeral trauma, man,I swear I do from a lot of
funerals and I just can't do itanymore.
If I'm going to celebrate yourend of life, I should be there
celebrating your life throughoutit.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I'm going to come back to the funeral part, okay,
so hang on to that ticket item.
But I do want to talk aboutweddings and showers and that
sort of thing, because now a lotof the showers it used to be
that you had the bridal showerand so it was just the women.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Oh, I thought you were talking about baby shower.
Okay, we that you had thebridal shower and so it was just
the women.
Oh, I thought you were talkingabout baby shower.
Okay, we'll talk about babyshowers too.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Okay, I want to talk about any type of event like
that, whether it's a baby,whether it's bridal, whether
it's invitation, whatever nowyou have.
Oh, we're going to have anengagement party bring me a gift
.
Uh, now we're going to have anannouncement party.
Bring me a gift.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Here's my gift list.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah now we're going to have a regular shower for
both of us the week before thewedding.
Bring a gift.
Now we're having my wedding.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Bring a gift.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And now we need to have some money.
Now we have to have some moneyto go on our honeymoon Drop us
something in Denmark and thoseones that have like a dollar
amount yeah you have to bring agift over a hundred dollars or
you're not going to be invited,type of thing.
Yeah, well, I and you know, Iknow the reason for that is
(28:34):
because there's so much investedin the wedding itself, but you
chose that's your problem.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Yeah, you, I spent eight hundred dollars on my
wedding, like get bent, get bent.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
The other part of it is like when you're going to
have a baby.
Yeah, oh, we're going to havethe announcement party.
Now we're going to have the.
You know where they determinethe sex.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Gender reveal.
Gender reveal party because, ohmy, God, we all want to go to
those.
Nobody cares what's in yourkid's diaper.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
And then we're going to have the baby shower.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
And then, once the baby's born, if you could just
buy us some Uber Eats tickets.
Oh, and I need a birth presentfor when the baby's born.
Yeah, so you know, there's allthese presents that you have to
buy what was it like maybe 10people showed up to my baby
shower for my first actual, likeborn child?
Speaker 1 (29:28):
And there was over like 25 30 people who rsvp'd,
and 10 of them more than that.
No, no, I did not.
I threw for you.
Yes, no, there was more and itwas all family.
No, you had more than that butit was.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I didn't have any friends I didn't have, and not a
single friend showed up to minewhen I had repeatedly showed up
over and over again for them.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
It can be sad as it relates to that, so I'm sorry
for that.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I cut off a lot of friends after that I'm sorry for
that type of trauma that youwent through.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That was not trauma, it was just bullshit.
I'm just really sorry for that.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Well, I mean it's just a reason why I don't you
know like it goes back to thebirthday party thing.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
We will show up for you, but I think some of the
invitations are getting a littleout of hand here.
You know you don't need a partyevery time you take a dump, or
every time you know, I mean it'slike oh, you know, I got new
nails, I'm gonna have a partyfor it.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Or you know, I got a new haircut well, and it's like
with social media, especiallywith, like the gender reveals.
Just announce it on socialmedia, like we don't need a
party with an airplane flying bydropping little confettis of
whatever color it is.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah, like stop because, to be honest with you,
the only ones who really careabout that our mom and dad, our
mom and dad, maybe grandma andgrandpa yeah everybody else is
like shit, we got to be hereright like hey, here's a pack of
diapers, yeah, you're going totrade them in anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
So, president, was you know?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah, so yeah, so, um , I guess I'm with you on that
whole thing.
Uh, I do want to come back towhat was a funeral funerals
funerals.
What was I going?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
to say I had no idea for not showing up to funerals.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
No, I wasn't going to do that, but who gets invited
to a funeral?
That's all I want to know iswho gets invited to that?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Me apparently no you don't.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
No one what like the dead person sends out an invite.
No, the family does.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
The family says hey, here's the funeral information
and you need to show up by thistime and things like that.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
That's called an announcement.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Well, no, not when it's a text message directly to
me.
That's not an announcement.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Please provide your donations.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
An announcement is hey, so-and-so died.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
That's an announcement, If you want to do
something for them, a charitableevent.
Please plant a tree.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
What's wrong with?
Speaker 1 (31:37):
that.
Nothing, I'm just saying thatthat's part of the announcement,
but you had mentioned what doyou?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
call it Her brain froze.
It did.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Celebration of life.
Celebration of life.
Celebration of life.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
And so Dr Domaine and I just had this conversation
about, because he was like whatis a celebration of life?
I always go to the funerals.
And now it's celebration oflife and we kind of had that
same conversation that Bobbyjust had is why are you going to
a celebration of life when youdidn't celebrate their life when
(32:11):
they were alive, right, right,and so wouldn't you rather spend
the time with them whilethey're alive?
I don't know, maybe not, maybethey were shitty.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
But if that's the case, don't go to their
celebration.
Yeah, what are you going tocelebrate?
What life are you going tocelebrate?
That's like I've always saiddon't bring flowers to my
funeral because you didn't bringthem to me when I was alive
like don't bother the why youknow what I mean.
But I'm just saying you know, alot of people have a
celebration of life because theycan't afford a funeral.
I'm gonna bring you little minitravels of alcohol what good is
(32:43):
that I can't drink them.
Bring them now the hell, but no,like celebration of life.
A lot of times is because theycan't afford a funeral they have
a cremation.
That's what I told him and theycan't afford the funeral costs
cost effective it's very andit's very expensive to have a
funeral.
But if you, you know, have acelebration of life, it's kind
(33:05):
of like a potluck everybody canbring a little something.
We talk about the person youknow, good or bad, good or bad,
we remember them for that day.
Maybe we have t-shirts with,you know, their picture with
wings on it, I don't know Idon't know what say what?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
you know, yeah, somebody probably has done that
well, or they put out theballoons.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I've threatened to put people on a t-shirt with
wings.
But yeah, you know, you have thelittle t-shirts in memory of
with their picture with wingsbehind it things like that but
you know, and sometimes it'seven I hate to say this, but
sometimes it's even a littlefundraiser where they ask people
to donate um for end-of-lifecosts, especially if it's like a
drawn-out sickness things likethat, where they ask people to
(33:45):
donate um for end-of-life costs,especially if it's like a
drawn-out sickness things likethat where they do have bills
and they ask people, if you can,you know, donate, and it goes
directly to the family that dayso that they can pay.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
And I don't mind that , I really don't mind that and I
don't mind, you know if I knowthat they're hard-pressed, you
know, and they need the money umyou know I've done that before,
but I mean, if I haven't, seenthat person in 10 or 15 years.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Why would I go celebrate their life when I
wasn't in it anymore?
Right, you know?
I just yeah, no, I, Iunderstand it's almost like you
know people want to be about thenumbers, like how many people
can we get here?
Can we get 100 people here tocelebrate this person's life?
Okay, well, well, if fivepeople show up, then that's five
people that actually caredabout me.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
So, getting back to the invitations, the uh you know
attending, and then thecancellations, and one thing
that I would leave our listenerswith is that you know when you
get an invitation.
If you're really not sure, oryou have had a habit, or maybe
not even a habit, you've had atendency to potentially cancel
(34:52):
at the last minute.
Don't put the host on the spotlike that.
Just wait, just wait.
You know, if you feel like youhave to wait on the RSVP, you
can always tell them.
Listen, you know.
I just don't know yet.
I don't know what my workweek's going to look like.
I'm going to try to be there,but I don't know what my work
week's going to look like.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I don't know what's going on with the kids, you know
, but I will let you know bythis date and I'll even step it
up one you know, if it's like abarbecue or something like that,
you don't know till the morningof that you're coming.
Give them a ring and say, hey,you know we're coming, but I
know this is last minute, so I'mgoing to bring a portion of
food so that you don't have toworry about it.
(35:33):
Like, don't be an asshole aboutit, just be like hey, I know
that I made an inconvenience foryou.
Let me make it right.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I'd still like to come see you, type of thing
right and and if you feel like,oh, bobby sent me this
invitation and I guess we haveto go, don't go so you'll never
come into anything for me again,right, because?
No, I didn't say that.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I just used you as an example no, because I know that
you get that text message going.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Oh my god, every party you have is at my house
anyway, so I don't ever have toworry about it.
But that's because you have anice house and big yard so, um,
you know, I would just ask youto be courteous to people in
that way and, if you know, ifyou feel like, oh, I don't
really want to go, then don't goright you know, don't, don't
put them on the spot like thatand if you can at all, please,
(36:23):
you know, be courteous enoughand professional enough and just
be a friend.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
They invited you right for a reason, and on both
ends.
I mean enjoy the presence, notthe presence that they bring
enjoy their presence.
You know if I invite you to mykids birthday party.
I'm not expecting you to showup with a present.
I'm expecting you to be there,show up for your kid, show up
and say hey, here I am, I'm herefor you.
(36:49):
I don't care if you have moneyor not.
If I invite you somewhere andyou think you got to bring a
gift, don't?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
don't you're not gonna hurt my feeling yeah, no,
I think that's a good saying,bobby, I like that, and with
that I think I'm done for theday.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
I think that is all the insanity that we have for
today, but we do appreciate youjoining us here at our rabbit
hole studio, so be sure tofollow us.
We look forward to spendingtime with you each and every
week.
Please like us, and if you havepositive feedback or if there's
a topic or a question that youwould like us to talk about,
drop us a short email atboomerandjenexer at gmailcom.
(37:26):
And if you have hate mail, well, you can send it to me, but I
will not RSVP.
So until next week, I'm Bobbie,Joy Fair warning.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And I'm Jane Burt and you're stuck with us.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Peace out Later.
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