May 13, 2025 • 44 mins
What happens when the moral framework you carefully built for your children doesn't quite stick? And whose is right? In this thought-provoking episode, mother-daughter hosts Jane and Bobbi Joy dive deep into the fascinating reality that our children often develop values and principles that diverge significantly from our own.
The conversation unfolds through personal revelations as Bobbi challenges her mother's long-held beliefs about discipline, religion, forgiveness, and the very foundation of moral behavior. Jane maintains that spiritual guidance provides her essential boundaries for ethical conduct, questioning what prevents immoral actions without religious accountability.
Their discussion takes unexpected turns through deeply personal territory, particularly when addressing trauma response and what Bobbi calls "toxic positivity"—the societal pressure to forgive and find silver linings in devastating circumstances. The raw honesty in these moments reveals how our most profound experiences shape our values, sometimes leading us to conclusions that contradict our upbringing.
Despite fundamentally different perspectives on many issues, they maintain profound respect for each other's viewpoints, modeling how families can honor different value systems while preserving loving connections.
Whether you're a parent wondering why your carefully taught lessons didn't quite take root, a child who's forged a different path than your upbringing suggested, or someone interested in the evolution of ethics across generations, this episode offers valuable insights into how we develop our moral compasses. Subscribe now and join the conversation about what shapes our deepest values and how we navigate those differences in our most important relationships.
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
welcome everyone to today's show.
Boomer and gen x are walking toa bar, coming to you from the
rabbit hole studio, where you,as our listener, will experience
some wit and wisdom, some smartashtray and a mother and
daughter questioning.
Are we even related?
My name is jane and my co-hostis my daughter, bobby joy, and
(00:25):
for the next I don't knowseveral minutes.
We're here to entertain you nowbefore I turn this microphone
over to bobby.
Uh, she has not told me thetopic today and she would not
give me any forewarning for meto look up any information, to
do any research whatsoever, andshe just flat out refused to
(00:48):
give me the topic.
Did she give it to you, drDomain?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I don't have a topic.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I've got a present for you all though.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
What is?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
it.
Who wants to open it?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
What.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Let's go, it's a present, who asks what something
is before they actually open it.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I do, I do it doesn't make any sense.
No, it's because we don't trustpeople.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, what present do you have for us, dr Domain?
Well, you've got to open it,okay.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
All right who's going to open it?
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, you want me to open?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
it that way, if it explodes.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, this is, If it explodes.
If it explodes.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I'm out, hey, hold on hold on.
Hold on hold on Before youfinish opening it, there's a
condition.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Okay, I'm not looking .
Oh my goodness, she's the worst.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
She is, she's the worst.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh, my presence and pulling.
So listen, if you open it, youhave to use it in the show.
Uh-oh, dead silence.
Crickets right there.
Uh, you open it, bobby.
No, you got it in your hand.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
You already ripped that sucker open.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Nope, it's yours, it's yours.
We have to use it in the show.
Okay do it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
do we have to use it in the show?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, Do it.
Do we have to use it in theshow today?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Okay, here it goes.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Do it.
What is this?
Oh, it's a new book.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
That wheeze and laugh , man, you're killing me.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
The book is called who Will Eat my Clam by Jen
Genevieve.
This is for mature audiencesonly.
So you might want to have thekids you know.
Step aside for a moment.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I better cover my ears.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Should I read this right now?
This is funny.
Oh my gosh, I have a clam.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Who wrote it, by the way?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Jen Genevieve yeah.
It says, I have a clam.
It's the freshest you will eversee.
It's so tasty and sweet.
It's deliciously fishy.
Oh sweet baby Jesus.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
It's so tasty and sweet.
It's deliciously fishy.
Oh sweet, baby Jesus, I'm goingto need to finish my drink.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Go on, who will pry it open?
Who will get a chance toswallow my clam juice and put
them in a charade?
Oh God, sally, can you smell myclam?
Doesn't it smell?
Sally, can you smell my clam?
Doesn't it smell?
(03:30):
Doesn't it smell yummy?
Will you eat my clam?
It's free.
I don't want any money.
Why would you offer it out likethat?
Is that what people do?
Now, sally, you missed yourchance.
Ciao, you're lost.
I didn't see the problem.
I didn't understand the drama.
Look at my clam.
Do you want to taste, tatiana?
(03:51):
What is wrong with you two?
Tatiana seemed offended by theoffer of my dish.
Get that away from me.
I'm allergic to fresh fish.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I thought she was going to say get that away from
me, I'm allergic to fresh fish.
I thought she was going to sayGet that away from me, you bitch
.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I didn't understand why people would refuse.
Normally my clam gets a Fivestar review.
James was walking Justfollowing his nose.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh god.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
We can't have anything nice.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
He can smell my clam from the next row.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Run, run away.
I had to come and see what wasmaking that scent.
Can I pry it open and eat itwith your consent?
My clam was juicy.
It was so sweet.
James said I can't wait to eatthis treat.
Oh my god.
James slipped and munched.
(04:57):
He loved the taste.
Every drip was consumed.
Nothing went to face.
My clam was fully open.
It was truly devoured.
James took his time.
He was eating for an hour.
There's no way.
There's no way that wasdelicious, james said with a
(05:17):
grin.
I'd love to eat it again.
Or is it a sin now?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
you, you're asking Now, you ask.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
James was a real one.
He loved eating my clam.
He ate my clam perfectly andsaid more.
Where that came from, ma'am,I'll have more, sir.
The moral of the story is thisIf you are giving your clam away
for lunch, find someone who isa proper munch.
(05:47):
Oh, my goodness, so that camefrom dr domain.
Now we know what kind of sickowe're dealing with behind the
board oh man, that was please,folks, don't hold that one
against us.
(06:07):
But you gotta admit that waspretty funny.
That falls right into that.
Uh, brenda's beaver playsaround.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That was like 10 times worse than brenda's beaver
oh my god, I'll get the showstarted for y'all all right,
let's talk about what we cantalk about bobby, because it
fits right into that.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I think yeah.
So first I'd like to introducemy emotional support chicken yes
.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I see your emotional support.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
This is Clyde Clyde.
Hello, Clyde, Okay so I'm goingto need him today for
protection.
Okay.
And you are at the other end ofthe studio.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That doesn't mean nothing.
That means nothing because Ican come over a table like a
spider monkey, like a spidermonkey all hopped up a mountain
dew.
What is our topic today?
You two seem to know.
I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, so today, you know, we've touched on a few
things on the past episodes andI thought, man, you know, this
would actually make a reallygood episode and might get you a
little riled up.
So I see you got your drinkthere.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I've already had mine 48 hours murder mystery.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
This could be an episode of snapped, because I
know how to hide bodies.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm just saying yeah, you guys know where my money is
hidden in case I never yourdollar 20 my dollar $1.25.
So today we're going to talkabout morals and values.
Now specifically we're going totalk about the fact that your
morals and values aren't mine.
And why is that?
(07:37):
When I am your child, waka,waka, waka, waka, waka Waka
wakaa, squeeze that duck umthat's a good topic.
It is because you know we'vetouched on it.
We touched on it with thebystander effect episode.
We touched on it with the deathpenalty episode we've touched on
(07:59):
it here and there, and a lot oftimes when we're talking about
some things, I do let you talkand I let you talk for me, and
uh, I don't know if you can see,you know, we do have kind of
stuff between us, but not alwayswhen you're talking for me,
it's not true.
But you know, I kind of let yougo because I I don't want to
(08:22):
get slapped.
So, uh, we're actually gonna,we're gonna bring this to the
table you're saying that maybeyou disagree with me on some
things I'm saying that I dodisagree with you on things yeah
, I doand it's.
It's funny because you know alot of families and parents and
things like that they go.
(08:42):
Well, you know, I raised mychild like this, I raised them
like this and then, a lot oftimes, even in society, they're
hold to.
You know, they're held to thatstandard of well, your child did
this wrong or your child, youknow, chose this path, and so
we're going to hold you, as aparent, accountable.
(09:04):
Okay, I don't agree with that.
Okay, because you can raisesomebody in a household with one
thing if you don't turn thatphone off, I'm gonna throw it in
the toilet.
But you know, you raise yourchild in a setting that you try
to instill morals and values onthem.
You try to raise them as youwant them raised, but from birth
(09:27):
, they're their own person.
You know you can hope and prayover them and you can try to
guide them in the rightdirection, but ultimately, this
is their life, this is theirjourney.
They're going to choose whatthey choose, regardless of how
you raise them, and so we'regoing to discuss some of this
(09:48):
today.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Okay, well, let's do, let's open it right up, because
you're the one who brought thistopic up.
Yeah, and we have.
You're right, we have touchedon it in the past and we've kind
of floated right over it.
We have, um, and you know, I, Ido know, based on your facial
expressions and how badly you'resnorting at the other end of
the studio sometimes, on howmuch you disagree with me, but
(10:11):
you don't, you haven't saidanything, and some of that let's
say.
You know morals, values andprinciples.
You do that out of respect.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It isn't it isn't, you know?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
because I agree with my mom and fear and fear, and
there's nothing wrong withinstilling a little fear into
them.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
So let's give our listeners a little visual here.
So my mom how tall are you?
5'7"?
Okay, so my mom is 5'7".
You know, maybe 130 poundssoaking wet.
You know, maybe a 130 poundssoaking wet.
I am 5 foot 10, 5 foot 11almost, and I'm right around 200
(10:53):
, 220 pounds.
So the fear that I feel towardsmy mother is a very deeply
embedded fear that goes back to,I think, pre-birth.
At this point because and itdoes it kind of meshes with that
respect thing, because I dorespect you and I do respect you
as a person and the fact thatwe can disagree, the fact that
(11:14):
we can have differing opinions,but when it comes right down to
it, you scare the hell out of meand you always have.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I'll go toe-to-toe with a, you know, 300
pound six foot five man beforeI'll go toe-to-toe with you I
think I don't know that that'sfear as much as I think that
it's a fear of what therepercussions are.
Right, no, it's fear I think,and let me explain what I mean
by that.
I think that a fear of therepercussions are I'm going to,
(11:46):
not, you know?
I mean, could I take her out?
Yeah, I probably could.
Um, you're not going to, but onthe other hand, you could take
out a relationship.
You could take out my grandkidsis relationship by doing
something like that.
Yeah, um, you know, I thinkthere's a lot more at stake.
So, you know, when you say fear, um, yeah, you probably do have
(12:10):
fear god in you.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, from a very early age.
I mean anyone who knows mepersonally let's start there.
Let's start there, because thatis something that we do not
agree on.
So let's go go back to the yearof our Lord, 1985-ish.
Okay, we'll say a littleearlier you know for my on a
(12:49):
physical punishment level withyou.
Yeah, now I will say that myfather never laid a hand on me,
right, um, his was more of adisappointment.
I didn't want to disappoint him.
That was, you know, worse thanany physical thing.
That he could have done to meyou, on the other hand, you beat
(13:09):
the shit out of us when weneeded it right and you know to
the point.
Where my mom had a paddle, mydad made her a paddle to hit us
with.
I, on the other hand, I cancount on one hand, and not even
use all my fingers, on theamount of times that I have
physically punished my children.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And I have made it a point not to Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And I think it's different times, you know.
I mean I really and truly do.
I think it's different times.
We've talked about this before.
My dad was abused.
I was abused.
You know you come from thatcycle.
You tend to, you know, havethat abusive type of behavior.
Now, you know, your sister wasthe firstborn and so she
(13:55):
probably got more of thediscipline from me.
I was pretty Well.
She screwed up a lot more too.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
She screwed up a lot more, and so you didn't really
get a lot from me, because youwere already scared of until I
got a little older and decidedto take doors off the hinges and
things like that, but yeah butyou know, back then that was
your values, that was yourmorals, that's how you raise
your children but that was how Iwas, you know kind of, and
(14:23):
we've talked about this how Iwas raised.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I wasn't raised with a loving, soft hand, right.
I was raised with a very,extremely hard hand, more so
than any child should have to gothrough.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Correct and I do know most of your story.
I don't know all of your story.
but you have my kids, you havetold me a lot of things and it
breaks my heart for what youwent through.
Yeah, I you know, but back thenthose were the morals and
values that you instilled in us.
Now, going forward, I won'tever speak for my sister.
(14:57):
If she wants to speak on it,she can come on and speak on it.
Um, myself, personally, Iworked my butt off to break that
cycle because I remember how itfelt to have that humiliation
of the physical beating.
But back then that was yourmorals and values and that's how
you raised us on, you know, umthe child.
(15:20):
You know, seen and not heard,spare the rod, spoil the child,
things like that.
And it was more of a thingwhere you were a single parent
raising two children who were,to put it nicely, hellions, I
mean yeah you were hands hellbit for leather when it came to
breaking every rule in the bookand I'll admit it, I mean I?
(15:44):
I probably should have been injuvie quite a few times, yeah,
um, but you know it's it's that,it's it's morals and it's
values that I grew up with, thatI have since broken and have
stopped with my own children.
Now I'm not saying I'm betterthan you, I'm not saying that
it's what kind of sounds like no, but I'm not I'm saying that,
(16:05):
with the tools that I have, withthe tools that you gave me,
this is how I chose to do it,and that's one thing that we
differ on.
We do, and there have beentimes that you have put hands to
grandchildren.
They deserved it.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Let me tell you first of all, it would be rare to get
their asses.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
It would be so very rare, but, and it was- a lot
early on, you know, with theolder grandchildren and things,
and it would have been very,very rare, because I felt like
extremely rare you guys neededto discipline your own kids or
take them correct but that'sjust one example.
Now let's look at anotherexample.
You know we talked about um thebystander effect when we were
(16:48):
talking about what would you dokind of thing.
What would you do?
and you said you know I wouldthe let's take our listeners
back who haven't actuallylistened to that podcast uh
episode you know we were talkingabout.
Well, what if you see someonestealing food or baby items or
necessities?
And I, I told mom right away Ididn't see nothing.
(17:08):
I'm blind in one eye and I onlysee 50% out of the other.
I didn't see nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now my mom, on the other hand Now wait a minute,
I'm going to stop you rightthere, because you categorized
it under food, baby items, thatsort of thing, Correct?
I just said, what if you sawhim taking stuff?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Right, and I did categorize it.
You categorized it, but youcategorized it, but you said you
would step forward and offer topay to where not all of us are
able to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Right, I get it.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I didn't see nothing and that's just how it is.
And I do have the morals andthe values of it's wrong to
steal and people do suffer.
You know the small businesses,things like that, when people
steal but at the same time getit.
Yeah, you know, I, I'm more ofthe.
I'm not going to, I'm not goingto make their life harder
(17:57):
because if they're stealing babyfood, their life is as hard as
it's.
You know, ever been at this?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
yeah, and and categorizing it like that.
I, I, you know.
I understand where you'recoming from.
I really and truly do.
Now, when we talk about moralsand values, discipline is, is a
subset of morals and values.
Yes, I was trying to teach you,kids, morals and values, what's
right, what's wrong, what youdo to people, what you don't do
to people, what you say, youknow, you work hard, you know
(18:26):
you.
You don't steal, you give.
You know the all of thosethings my morals are do the
right thing, even when nobody'slooking right, you know my my
standards and my principles andthose sorts of things are the
things that I live by.
The discipline is what happenswhen you don't do those things
correct.
So let's make sure that weunderstand those levels, because
(18:46):
the discipline is a totallydifferent thing.
Right, and we're gonna.
We're gonna levels, because thediscipline is a totally
different thing.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Right, and we're going to be bouncing back and
forth on all different levelshere.
I'm just kind of givingexamples here, when we talk
about morals, standards andvalues and principles.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Okay, to me those are the things of.
You know.
My morals are what's right andwrong, correct.
You know what's good and bad.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Now would you say that your religion holds a good
chunk of your morals.
Like you, draw from yourreligion a good chunk of your
morals.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
That's where you draw from.
I draw from my spiritual beliefin God and Jesus Christ and the
Holy Spirit.
You know I've said this beforeReligion to me is kind of a
sketchy thing, so we aren'tgoing to get into that.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Well, we're not talking organized religion.
I'm talking your own personal.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, I would say yes .
And we were down at thefarmer's market one day and one
of the guys they had a booththere of atheists, yeah, and one
of the guys was kind of yellingout, you know, are you limited
in your life, you know, and blah, blah, blah and he was kind of
(19:55):
you know obviously.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
He was drawing people in.
Yeah, he was advocating for anatheist.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And Dr Domain looked at me and he said do you think
we're limited?
And I said, absolutely, we'relimited by the word of God,
right, and we want to be limitedby the word of God, right, and
we want to be limited by theword of God, right, we want to
follow those rules.
And so, yeah, I think that that, yeah, I think that drives me.
Um, my mom was very, veryreligious and when I was a kid,
you know, I did the same thingyou kids are doing to me now is
(20:24):
I said oh, for the love of God,please stop talking about.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
No wait, I don't do that.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
No, you don't.
I don't do that to you, but Idid.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
And I was always there with Grandma Dickie, you
know, with her Her Jesus radiowas always on.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Oh, God love her.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
And I never had a problem with that.
I did, I did.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
You know, I felt like it was being shoved down my
throat and I was being judgedall the time.
And now here's but wait, let me.
Let me just explain.
I think there's a differencebetween treating, teaching.
You know morals and valuesabout.
You know a religion, that thatfocuses on love and
understanding and forgivenessand that sort of thing, as
opposed to being threatened.
He's coming after you, you.
He'll be back one day and you'regonna burn in hell yeah and
(21:12):
that was that was kind of how wewere raised, you know, by
brimstone and and fire, and sowe were scared, you know, and so
, yeah, that was something thatI kind of I really rejected
right now.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I remember that.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I remember that yeah, and now that I've gotten older
and I certainly understand, Ifeel like I understand a lot
more and I feel like I'm muchmore understanding with people
than I've ever been is, yeah, itis about love, it's about
understanding, it's aboutforgiveness, it's about give
them the benefit of the doubtfor crying out loud.
(21:48):
You know what's it going tohurt you.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Let me ask you this.
So we all know you are veryspiritual, you have a very
strong spirituality whateverpeople want to call it a
religion a bond with God.
Okay, Do you think that withoutthat, the morals and values
(22:14):
cannot be the same?
Like, let me give you anexample, like, let's say, you
know that I'm I'm very open withmy children.
I do not raise my children in areligious household for a
reason and it has nothing to dowith anything bad against you or
religion or god or anythingelse.
I have raised my children withmorals and values and respect.
(22:41):
Now do you think that withoutthat religion that it could
still be having this?
Those morals?
Like you know, like you know,don't kill people, or let me
just answer that real quickly.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
The answers no, you don't believe that.
I do not.
I do not beyond a shadow of adoubt.
Do I believe that that you know, because there's too many
people that do wrong unlessthey're being watched to do
right.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
So you think that the threat of damnation, let's say,
is what keeps people's moralityon the level that allows the
population to coexist in apeaceful way?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I think that it plays a big role.
Now, I want to mention thisbecause and I'm not talking one
certain religion, I'm talkingall relations, sure sure,
because they're all tight,you're all you know it's all
tied together one way or theother, one way or the other,
right you know, we have a niecethat, or I have a niece that is
she doesn't believe in god atall, you know, and she's made
(23:47):
that very clear to me, and uh,love her, love her to death.
Now does she go out and murderand kill and steal and do all of
that stuff?
No, she doesn't, right?
Okay?
So there are some boundariesthere and you have to ask
yourself what's stopping you?
What is stopping you If youdon't believe in in God, you
(24:09):
don't believe in Jesus, youdon't believe in that Holy
Spirit, or you don't believe inyour creator?
What's stopping you?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
So what is stopping people then?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
That's a good question.
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Natural law.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
And I think it is natural law.
And you know, maybe you want toweigh in on this Dr Domain
because you're more of an experton this than I am by far, but I
really and truly do feel forthe most part, bobby, yeah, we
have to have, there's always aso you have to have that threat
(24:44):
of.
I don't think you have to havethat threat.
I think there's always anopposite right Good, bad light,
dark.
I think there's always anopposite right Good, bad light,
dark.
I think there's always.
We know there's evil in theworld.
There's got to be good rightand it isn't just oh, I'll do a
good deed today.
A good deed does not a goodperson make.
You have to have something inyou that drives you to be a
(25:08):
really good person, and I thinkthat there is.
There are some boundaries thatyou have to live by I think,
that there's some rules that youhave to live by, so yeah, go
ahead.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm sorry, dr domain.
No, I was just saying a naturallaw, it's all it's the basis
for I think it's an inherentmorality that we all have.
We objectively probably realizethat it's not good to kill
someone, and so I think that'sthe basis for a lot.
I mean, the Lord even handeddown a lot of the commandments
(25:40):
that are based on natural law.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And so that's, I think, really a guiding
principle of what keeps us allfrom being incarcerated or
murdering other people orwhatever that right.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
there is an excellent point.
He did hand down a lot ofthings that are natural law that
we would never do.
We would never do because weknow they're wrong.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I don't know man.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
God killed a lot of people just to kill them.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Okay, so I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
But I don't want this whole podcast to be about
religion?
Yeah, but I mean I don't wantto pull it all into religion
because that's not where I'mgoing with it.
I get it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But I do want to say this that you know there's a lot
of confusion out there aboutwhat's in the Bible and what God
did and what Jesus did and thatsort of thing.
And you're right, there were alot of people that went to war
for God right there were a lotof people that were killed on
behalf of God, smited off theearth.
Off the earth, they're done, youknow.
And to say that I understandevery decision he makes,
(26:44):
absolutely, I do not.
You know.
We've had those discussions.
How is is it that happened?
The bible is full of brokenness.
That bible is not wheresomebody says, oh, I'm not going
to read the bible, I'm notgoing to go to church, I'm not
going to doing that because, youknow, uh, everybody thinks that
they're so great, they'renothing but brokenness in that
(27:05):
bible to show that he created usand we kept screwing up.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Well, I mean people are going to people.
They've been people in sincethe beginning of time.
You know it is what it is andit's not like you didn't know it
was going to happen and like Isaid I, you know I don't want to
pull this into religion typething, but one thing that you
did say that I'm going to kindof piggyback off of is when we
had the episodes about theschool shooting.
Now, let me let me forward thisby saying we haven't that's
(27:36):
really been the only time thatwe have fully and it's not even
been fully that we have openedup about the school shooting.
One thing that I do rememberthat you had said, and you've
said a few times, even in thedeath penalty episode, um is the
fact that I and I did let youspeak for me and I shouldn't
have, but I didn't want toruffle the feathers right then
(28:00):
you had said you know where, wewere not about hate, we were not
about revenge, we were notabout, um, you know, hurting
other people, things like that.
Listen, and this might come asa shock to you I don't think it
will, though, because I thinkthat you've learned a lot about
(28:20):
me in the last 10 years that youdidn't know before.
But, um, I got a lot of hate andI'm not, I'm not ashamed of it
and I'm not gonna let that go,because that's a lot of hate and
I'm not, I'm not ashamed of itand I'm not going to let that go
, because that's a lot of peoplesay.
Well, you know, hate is likedrinking a poison and expecting
the other person to die.
No, that's not how it is.
A lot of people have come to usand said things which I call
(28:44):
toxic positivity, and you andI've had this discussion before
and I and I've actually had tostop you before.
Well, it could have been worse.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Well, thank, god, I've never said it could have
been worse.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Well, but you have on other things what I it could be
worse what I did.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I've never said no.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
No, I'm saying on on other things.
So you know, you say, hey, lookat the bright side, it could be
worse, you could have it as badas other people.
That's toxic positivity andthat is something that we don't
do in our household, becausesometimes shitty things happen
and there is no damn reason forit.
(29:20):
You cannot sit there and tellme that there was a reason for
things to happen as theyhappened or when they happened,
because sometimes shitty thingsjust happen there are shitty
people out there and they doshitty things and nothing can
sit here and tell me that therewas a reason for it.
(29:41):
Are we stronger for it?
Yes, but you know there's a lotof toxic positivity that does
not allow us to fully grieve forwhat we have been through, and
I think that that is verydamaging to people.
And a lot of people have saidyou know, we're about
forgiveness, we're aboutpositivity, we're about things
like that.
(30:01):
I'm not going to lie.
Had that kid not taken his ownlife in that school that day, he
never would have made it tocourt.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Taking his own life in that school that day he never
would have made it to court andI would have made sure of it.
So listen, I'm just and I neverand I never would have thought
twice about it let me just saythis bobby, I have never said,
oh, things could have beenbetter, especially well, you
said things could be worse.
You know when we come to youwith problems, thank god you
know, thank god that that westill have court, thank you know
.
Well, yeah, no to you withproblems, thank god.
(30:30):
You know, thank god that thatwe still have court, thank you
know well, yeah, no, I'm talkingabout other things you know
like oh, you know we're in a badspot.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Well, things could be worse.
You could be this person.
You know things could be worselike that.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
But okay, I get what you're saying it's.
I get what you're saying, butthat's not what I've ever said,
because I I'm very careful notto say that.
But what I will say is this wedon't understand everything.
No, we don't know why thingshappen.
And to sit here and act like wedo, I will never know why
people do things.
How silly is that Because wedon't know.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
We don't know anything About everything.
I mean, there's so many things.
All we can do is try to pickourselves up.
So when I say I try to staypositive on it, I do.
I've never, ever said you knowwell, things could be better.
I've never said that.
But what I have said is listen,here's what we have to do.
(31:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And you have been a good source of that positive
uplifting we have had to staypositive just to keep ourselves
moving.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Do I understand why?
I don't have a clue.
I don't have a clue why thingshappened in the Bible the way
that they did when you want totalk about religion and what
happened with God.
I don't have a clue.
I ask it all the time.
It's like how can that happen?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
And yet we're told never to kill and that comes
back around to the morals andvalues you know.
You are a very spiritual personabsolutely go with the word of
god.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yep, um, so you do things like thou shall not kill
thou you know things like that Iam not along that line but you
were the same one that said I Idon't agree with capital
punishment correct, correct.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
but at the same time, like I said, had that person
been walked out of that school,I would have made sure upon my
dying breath that he never wouldhave made it to that courthouse
and I.
I know that that disappointsyou and I know that that breaks
your heart, but there are sometimes when I believe in the eye
(32:40):
for the eye and that is onlybecause I cannot trust.
There is no justice system.
There's a legal system.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Right, we've talked about that.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
We have talked about that.
We have talked about that.
I will never trust the legalsystem to put back our family,
or anyone else's family, to bewhole again you and I do not
disagree on that bobby and Iwill and I will take my dying
breath if it means that I haverevenged something that has been
(33:11):
so horrific against my ownfamily.
Now does that mean I'm right?
Does that mean I'm going tohell for killing somebody?
Possibly, possibly, but I canjustify that in my own personal
space rather than to myself tomy future, to to my if there's
(33:33):
an afterlife.
I can justify that and I canclose my eyes and know that it
doesn't matter, because what Idid I did and I do not have any
regrets for it, and that issomething that we do, we on, and
there's a lot of things wediffer on we do, and that is.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
We do and you know I mean we did differ on the death
penalty and after you and Italked about it, I kind of agree
with you on that, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
But if it got right down to it and you know, I'm
just not in agreement with thegovernment doing it, oh gosh,
because they're idiots yeah,they're idiots anyway.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
But um, you know, I mean we joke all the time about
hey, well, you know, we know howto hide a body.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I mean I mean we do the thing is we kind of joke?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
we do, but you know um, you know the thing is but I
would, but I wouldn't lose sleepover it.
I will say that, yeah, youwould.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
But these people who say you know he killed my son,
but I forgive him in court, theygo.
I've forgiven him.
God love them for being able todo that, because I don't know I
could never.
And God help me, because Idon't think I could.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
But the forgiveness is not for the offender.
The forgiveness is for thesurvivors.
I don't need that forgiveness.
I don't need to forgive him orhis family for what they allowed
, for what they did, for theirrole in it.
I don't need to forgive thembecause I don't need that
forgiveness for their role in it.
I don't need to forgive thembecause I don't need that
forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
So, getting back to the whole topic in general, you
know of morals, values,standards, you know ethics, that
sort of thing.
They're all different things,obviously.
Religion, you know, to me helpsdrive.
That's kind of a guideline forme, right?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
For you?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
yes, yeah and for many people.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
For a lot of people, yeah, For a lot of people, a lot
of people.
But there are people out therethat have no religion, no
spirituality, and yet they stillfollow those moral lines.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
They still follow those ethical lines and I think
that gets back to that natural,natural, uh, you know, way of
life, natural rules, Um but I dosee a lot of parents looking at
their kids going man, I didn'traise you like this.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
These are not our morals, these are not our values
.
How did you ever come up withthis?
And all I can say to them islook, they're their own people.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Well, you know, bobby , when you guys were being, you
know, when you were younger, oneof the things that and I've
said this before I thought I wasa good parent.
I wasn't a really good mombecause I wasn't a real nurturer
, but you know, my wholeobjective was to teach you right
and wrong, what's good and bad,what you do and don't do.
(36:22):
You know the things to makeyourself feel valuable in this
lifetime, and you know to moveforward and you know turn you
out to be a good citizen ofsociety, not to be a burden to
society.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It only took 40 years to stick.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Well, but I mean.
I want you to think about howmany people are raising kids
that are literally burdens tosociety, correct?
Oh, you know whether it's.
You know that I have.
You know, problems where Ican't get a job because I can't
(37:02):
go to work, I can't be withpeople, or you know I play games
in my parents' basement, for,you know, 14 hours a day.
Whatever you know I mean, to methat's just part of society
anymore.
But my objective, you know, wasreally to turn you out to be
something of value.
I truly believe we are not herefor ourselves.
(37:24):
I truly believe we are here forother people.
I truly believe that my jobevery single day is to look for
a way to help someone else.
Right now, I don't get to dothat every single day, but I
really do look for it.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
I think that that should be something that is in
your daily life.
How can I help?
What can I do?
What can I do?
But at the same, I don't agreewith that Because, in the
overall cosmic universe of it,okay, who's going to make me
happy?
Who's going to look out for me?
Who's going to make sure thatmy mental health and my life is
(38:08):
something that I will enjoy andnot just trudging through every
day?
And I'm going to tell you rightnow, we have a lot of mental
health issues out there.
There are absolutely real mentalhealth issues and we're not
putting any of those down.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
There are a lot of fake ones.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It's a trend.
At this point it's a trend, butwhen it comes down to it, no
one else is out there lookingout for me.
No one is Everyone, and it's anarcissistic tendency.
I'm not saying we'renarcissists it is narcissistic
tendency.
We are born with narcissistictendencies absolutely what's
without them?
But without them, no one elseis going to give a shit.
(38:43):
If you're happy, no one is.
No one cares, no one cares.
Bob down the street doesn'tgive a shit if you woke up this
morning wanting to kill yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
He doesn't.
I don't think that's reallytrue.
I mean, you know what?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
When it comes down to it, I am the master of my
happiness, right, you're themaster of yourself, you're right
.
But you know, when it in theend, all be all.
I'm the only one that can makeme happy.
In the end, all be all.
I'm the only one that can makeme happy.
And if that means that I haveto kind of shun some things of
(39:17):
society, then so be it.
If I want to go live off gridin a cabin in the woods and not
talk to people for 402 days,leave me alone.
Absolutely, I'm making myselfhappy.
So what if I don't go down andvolunteer at the food bank every
week?
Speaker 1 (39:33):
so but if I don't donate, it's all about I'm.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
You're right, but I'm just saying you know, in the
overall, you know the forest forthe trees type of thing.
In the overall thing, no oneelse is looking out for your
happiness.
Your parents might be your, youknow your partner might be.
Those are they're choosing to.
A lot of parents anymore arenot choosing to look out for
(39:58):
their children's happiness.
What they're looking out for istheir own.
I get that, you know.
But as children grow and thingslike that, even you you're
looking out for your ownhappiness and I don't fault you
for that.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I am looking out for my own happiness.
I hope I don't fault you forthat.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I am looking out for my own happiness.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I hope that you do, but I don't put your guys' on a
shelf anymore.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
You're correct, but I hope that you do look out for
your own happiness, becausewe're too busy trying to survive
to worry about your happiness.
I get it.
I get it and there's a lot more.
You know that we can say thatwe disagree on.
You know morals and ethics wise, but you know that just kind of
touches on it and I think youknow that that's that's really a
(40:39):
good thing to kind of throw toour listeners about how, growing
up, even me and my sister havedifferent morals and ethics,
right?
So you know, sit down and thinkhow are my morals and ethics
different from my brother, frommy sister, from my mother, from
my father, from my grandparents?
(41:00):
And I'm not talking aboutgenerational ones, I'm talking
about ones that you grew uplearning and have either altered
or shied away from, because youhave learned a truth in life
that maybe they didn't have todeal with or you've grasped it.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yes, you know.
I mean there's always that andyou know what experience did.
Experiences did you have as achild growing up, or not even
just growing up, but even inyour 20s and 30s right?
Every day, every day, everysingle day, and so you know to
say you know, I don't care aboutsomebody else's happiness,
you're right, I'm responsiblefor my happiness.
(41:39):
I honestly am responsible formy happiness.
Um, if I, you know, don't feelsomething is going the way it
needs to go, I'm gonna.
It's up to me to change that.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Correct.
Like they say, you know, prayto God, but row towards the
shore because nobody's coming tosave you.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
You can pray to God, but he gave you those arms to
row Exactly.
You know so, and I do.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I'm going to tell the listeners I do use a lot of
religious terms and things likethat, because I have learned how
to communicate with my motherand my grandmother, who has
passed on, and I do that out ofrespect for them, because when I
am comforting someone, if theyhave a you know a religious
tendency or a spirituality, Itry to use that in order to
(42:25):
connect with them now, bobby.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
You told me one time that you do believe in god I
didn't say i't.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
I've never said I don't believe in.
God, but my spirituality isdifferent.
It's different and it looksdifferent and it sounds
different and it's personal tome, so it's not anything that I
would ever need to put on a showfor or in a building or share
with other people, becausethere's a lot of things that
(42:52):
contradict other things with meand I don't feel like I want to
explain them okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Well, I think that's probably where we should
probably end for the day.
I think that was a really goodtopic, but I do not appreciate
you dropping stuff on me at thelast minute where I can't look
anything up or just even prepare.
But thanks anyway.
Some of the best podcasts comefrom the unprepared.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
So I do think that that is all of the insanity that
we have for everybody today.
We sure do appreciate youjoining us here at the Rabbit
Hole Studio.
Hey guys, if you like us, besure to follow us.
Share us with your friends.
If you hate, follow us, shareus with your friends.
If you hate us, share us withyour enemies.
We don't care, um, if you havepositive feedback for us or if
(43:39):
there's a topic you want todiscuss, if you have some
constructive criticism, we'vegot an email.
It's boomerangenexer atgmailcom.
If hate mail, well, we're justnot interested in that.
So until next week, I'm BobbyJoy.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And I'm Jane Burt and you're stuck with us.
Peace out Later.
welcome everyone to today's show.
Boomer and gen x are walking toa bar, coming to you from the
rabbit hole studio, where you,as our listener, will experience
some wit and wisdom, some smartashtray and a mother and
daughter questioning.
Are we even related?
My name is jane and my co-hostis my daughter, bobby joy, and
(00:25):
for the next I don't knowseveral minutes.
We're here to entertain you nowbefore I turn this microphone
over to bobby.
Uh, she has not told me thetopic today and she would not
give me any forewarning for meto look up any information, to
do any research whatsoever, andshe just flat out refused to
(00:48):
give me the topic.
Did she give it to you, drDomain?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I don't have a topic.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I've got a present for you all though.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
What is?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
it.
Who wants to open it?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
What.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Let's go, it's a present, who asks what something
is before they actually open it.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I do, I do it doesn't make any sense.
No, it's because we don't trustpeople.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, what present do you have for us, dr Domain?
Well, you've got to open it,okay.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
All right who's going to open it?
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, you want me to open?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
it that way, if it explodes.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, this is, If it explodes.
If it explodes.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I'm out, hey, hold on hold on.
Hold on hold on Before youfinish opening it, there's a
condition.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Okay, I'm not looking .
Oh my goodness, she's the worst.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
She is, she's the worst.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh, my presence and pulling.
So listen, if you open it, youhave to use it in the show.
Uh-oh, dead silence.
Crickets right there.
Uh, you open it, bobby.
No, you got it in your hand.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
You already ripped that sucker open.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Nope, it's yours, it's yours.
We have to use it in the show.
Okay do it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
do we have to use it in the show?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, Do it.
Do we have to use it in theshow today?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Okay, here it goes.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Do it.
What is this?
Oh, it's a new book.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
That wheeze and laugh , man, you're killing me.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
The book is called who Will Eat my Clam by Jen
Genevieve.
This is for mature audiencesonly.
So you might want to have thekids you know.
Step aside for a moment.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I better cover my ears.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Should I read this right now?
This is funny.
Oh my gosh, I have a clam.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Who wrote it, by the way?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Jen Genevieve yeah.
It says, I have a clam.
It's the freshest you will eversee.
It's so tasty and sweet.
It's deliciously fishy.
Oh sweet baby Jesus.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
It's so tasty and sweet.
It's deliciously fishy.
Oh sweet, baby Jesus, I'm goingto need to finish my drink.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Go on, who will pry it open?
Who will get a chance toswallow my clam juice and put
them in a charade?
Oh God, sally, can you smell myclam?
Doesn't it smell?
Sally, can you smell my clam?
Doesn't it smell?
(03:30):
Doesn't it smell yummy?
Will you eat my clam?
It's free.
I don't want any money.
Why would you offer it out likethat?
Is that what people do?
Now, sally, you missed yourchance.
Ciao, you're lost.
I didn't see the problem.
I didn't understand the drama.
Look at my clam.
Do you want to taste, tatiana?
(03:51):
What is wrong with you two?
Tatiana seemed offended by theoffer of my dish.
Get that away from me.
I'm allergic to fresh fish.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I thought she was going to say get that away from
me, I'm allergic to fresh fish.
I thought she was going to sayGet that away from me, you bitch
.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I didn't understand why people would refuse.
Normally my clam gets a Fivestar review.
James was walking Justfollowing his nose.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh god.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
We can't have anything nice.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
He can smell my clam from the next row.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Run, run away.
I had to come and see what wasmaking that scent.
Can I pry it open and eat itwith your consent?
My clam was juicy.
It was so sweet.
James said I can't wait to eatthis treat.
Oh my god.
James slipped and munched.
(04:57):
He loved the taste.
Every drip was consumed.
Nothing went to face.
My clam was fully open.
It was truly devoured.
James took his time.
He was eating for an hour.
There's no way.
There's no way that wasdelicious, james said with a
(05:17):
grin.
I'd love to eat it again.
Or is it a sin now?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
you, you're asking Now, you ask.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
James was a real one.
He loved eating my clam.
He ate my clam perfectly andsaid more.
Where that came from, ma'am,I'll have more, sir.
The moral of the story is thisIf you are giving your clam away
for lunch, find someone who isa proper munch.
(05:47):
Oh, my goodness, so that camefrom dr domain.
Now we know what kind of sickowe're dealing with behind the
board oh man, that was please,folks, don't hold that one
against us.
(06:07):
But you gotta admit that waspretty funny.
That falls right into that.
Uh, brenda's beaver playsaround.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That was like 10 times worse than brenda's beaver
oh my god, I'll get the showstarted for y'all all right,
let's talk about what we cantalk about bobby, because it
fits right into that.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I think yeah.
So first I'd like to introducemy emotional support chicken yes
.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I see your emotional support.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
This is Clyde Clyde.
Hello, Clyde, Okay so I'm goingto need him today for
protection.
Okay.
And you are at the other end ofthe studio.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That doesn't mean nothing.
That means nothing because Ican come over a table like a
spider monkey, like a spidermonkey all hopped up a mountain
dew.
What is our topic today?
You two seem to know.
I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, so today, you know, we've touched on a few
things on the past episodes andI thought, man, you know, this
would actually make a reallygood episode and might get you a
little riled up.
So I see you got your drinkthere.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I've already had mine 48 hours murder mystery.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
This could be an episode of snapped, because I
know how to hide bodies.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm just saying yeah, you guys know where my money is
hidden in case I never yourdollar 20 my dollar $1.25.
So today we're going to talkabout morals and values.
Now specifically we're going totalk about the fact that your
morals and values aren't mine.
And why is that?
(07:37):
When I am your child, waka,waka, waka, waka, waka Waka
wakaa, squeeze that duck umthat's a good topic.
It is because you know we'vetouched on it.
We touched on it with thebystander effect episode.
We touched on it with the deathpenalty episode we've touched on
(07:59):
it here and there, and a lot oftimes when we're talking about
some things, I do let you talkand I let you talk for me, and
uh, I don't know if you can see,you know, we do have kind of
stuff between us, but not alwayswhen you're talking for me,
it's not true.
But you know, I kind of let yougo because I I don't want to
(08:22):
get slapped.
So, uh, we're actually gonna,we're gonna bring this to the
table you're saying that maybeyou disagree with me on some
things I'm saying that I dodisagree with you on things yeah
, I doand it's.
It's funny because you know alot of families and parents and
things like that they go.
(08:42):
Well, you know, I raised mychild like this, I raised them
like this and then, a lot oftimes, even in society, they're
hold to.
You know, they're held to thatstandard of well, your child did
this wrong or your child, youknow, chose this path, and so
we're going to hold you, as aparent, accountable.
(09:04):
Okay, I don't agree with that.
Okay, because you can raisesomebody in a household with one
thing if you don't turn thatphone off, I'm gonna throw it in
the toilet.
But you know, you raise yourchild in a setting that you try
to instill morals and values onthem.
You try to raise them as youwant them raised, but from birth
(09:27):
, they're their own person.
You know you can hope and prayover them and you can try to
guide them in the rightdirection, but ultimately, this
is their life, this is theirjourney.
They're going to choose whatthey choose, regardless of how
you raise them, and so we'regoing to discuss some of this
(09:48):
today.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Okay, well, let's do, let's open it right up, because
you're the one who brought thistopic up.
Yeah, and we have.
You're right, we have touchedon it in the past and we've kind
of floated right over it.
We have, um, and you know, I, Ido know, based on your facial
expressions and how badly you'resnorting at the other end of
the studio sometimes, on howmuch you disagree with me, but
(10:11):
you don't, you haven't saidanything, and some of that let's
say.
You know morals, values andprinciples.
You do that out of respect.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It isn't it isn't, you know?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
because I agree with my mom and fear and fear, and
there's nothing wrong withinstilling a little fear into
them.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
So let's give our listeners a little visual here.
So my mom how tall are you?
5'7"?
Okay, so my mom is 5'7".
You know, maybe 130 poundssoaking wet.
You know, maybe a 130 poundssoaking wet.
I am 5 foot 10, 5 foot 11almost, and I'm right around 200
(10:53):
, 220 pounds.
So the fear that I feel towardsmy mother is a very deeply
embedded fear that goes back to,I think, pre-birth.
At this point because and itdoes it kind of meshes with that
respect thing, because I dorespect you and I do respect you
as a person and the fact thatwe can disagree, the fact that
(11:14):
we can have differing opinions,but when it comes right down to
it, you scare the hell out of meand you always have.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I'll go toe-to-toe with a, you know, 300
pound six foot five man beforeI'll go toe-to-toe with you I
think I don't know that that'sfear as much as I think that
it's a fear of what therepercussions are.
Right, no, it's fear I think,and let me explain what I mean
by that.
I think that a fear of therepercussions are I'm going to,
(11:46):
not, you know?
I mean, could I take her out?
Yeah, I probably could.
Um, you're not going to, but onthe other hand, you could take
out a relationship.
You could take out my grandkidsis relationship by doing
something like that.
Yeah, um, you know, I thinkthere's a lot more at stake.
So, you know, when you say fear, um, yeah, you probably do have
(12:10):
fear god in you.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Oh, yeah, yeah, from a very early age.
I mean anyone who knows mepersonally let's start there.
Let's start there, because thatis something that we do not
agree on.
So let's go go back to the yearof our Lord, 1985-ish.
Okay, we'll say a littleearlier you know for my on a
(12:49):
physical punishment level withyou.
Yeah, now I will say that myfather never laid a hand on me,
right, um, his was more of adisappointment.
I didn't want to disappoint him.
That was, you know, worse thanany physical thing.
That he could have done to meyou, on the other hand, you beat
(13:09):
the shit out of us when weneeded it right and you know to
the point.
Where my mom had a paddle, mydad made her a paddle to hit us
with.
I, on the other hand, I cancount on one hand, and not even
use all my fingers, on theamount of times that I have
physically punished my children.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And I have made it a point not to Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And I think it's different times, you know.
I mean I really and truly do.
I think it's different times.
We've talked about this before.
My dad was abused.
I was abused.
You know you come from thatcycle.
You tend to, you know, havethat abusive type of behavior.
Now, you know, your sister wasthe firstborn and so she
(13:55):
probably got more of thediscipline from me.
I was pretty Well.
She screwed up a lot more too.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
She screwed up a lot more, and so you didn't really
get a lot from me, because youwere already scared of until I
got a little older and decidedto take doors off the hinges and
things like that, but yeah butyou know, back then that was
your values, that was yourmorals, that's how you raise
your children but that was how Iwas, you know kind of, and
(14:23):
we've talked about this how Iwas raised.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I wasn't raised with a loving, soft hand, right.
I was raised with a very,extremely hard hand, more so
than any child should have to gothrough.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Correct and I do know most of your story.
I don't know all of your story.
but you have my kids, you havetold me a lot of things and it
breaks my heart for what youwent through.
Yeah, I you know, but back thenthose were the morals and
values that you instilled in us.
Now, going forward, I won'tever speak for my sister.
(14:57):
If she wants to speak on it,she can come on and speak on it.
Um, myself, personally, Iworked my butt off to break that
cycle because I remember how itfelt to have that humiliation
of the physical beating.
But back then that was yourmorals and values and that's how
you raised us on, you know, umthe child.
(15:20):
You know, seen and not heard,spare the rod, spoil the child,
things like that.
And it was more of a thingwhere you were a single parent
raising two children who were,to put it nicely, hellions, I
mean yeah you were hands hellbit for leather when it came to
breaking every rule in the bookand I'll admit it, I mean I?
(15:44):
I probably should have been injuvie quite a few times, yeah,
um, but you know it's it's that,it's it's morals and it's
values that I grew up with, thatI have since broken and have
stopped with my own children.
Now I'm not saying I'm betterthan you, I'm not saying that
it's what kind of sounds like no, but I'm not I'm saying that,
(16:05):
with the tools that I have, withthe tools that you gave me,
this is how I chose to do it,and that's one thing that we
differ on.
We do, and there have beentimes that you have put hands to
grandchildren.
They deserved it.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Let me tell you first of all, it would be rare to get
their asses.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
It would be so very rare, but, and it was- a lot
early on, you know, with theolder grandchildren and things,
and it would have been very,very rare, because I felt like
extremely rare you guys neededto discipline your own kids or
take them correct but that'sjust one example.
Now let's look at anotherexample.
You know we talked about um thebystander effect when we were
(16:48):
talking about what would you dokind of thing.
What would you do?
and you said you know I wouldthe let's take our listeners
back who haven't actuallylistened to that podcast uh
episode you know we were talkingabout.
Well, what if you see someonestealing food or baby items or
necessities?
And I, I told mom right away Ididn't see nothing.
(17:08):
I'm blind in one eye and I onlysee 50% out of the other.
I didn't see nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now my mom, on the other hand Now wait a minute,
I'm going to stop you rightthere, because you categorized
it under food, baby items, thatsort of thing, Correct?
I just said, what if you sawhim taking stuff?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Right, and I did categorize it.
You categorized it, but youcategorized it, but you said you
would step forward and offer topay to where not all of us are
able to do that.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Right, I get it.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I didn't see nothing and that's just how it is.
And I do have the morals andthe values of it's wrong to
steal and people do suffer.
You know the small businesses,things like that, when people
steal but at the same time getit.
Yeah, you know, I, I'm more ofthe.
I'm not going to, I'm not goingto make their life harder
(17:57):
because if they're stealing babyfood, their life is as hard as
it's.
You know, ever been at this?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
yeah, and and categorizing it like that.
I, I, you know.
I understand where you'recoming from.
I really and truly do.
Now, when we talk about moralsand values, discipline is, is a
subset of morals and values.
Yes, I was trying to teach you,kids, morals and values, what's
right, what's wrong, what youdo to people, what you don't do
to people, what you say, youknow, you work hard, you know
(18:26):
you.
You don't steal, you give.
You know the all of thosethings my morals are do the
right thing, even when nobody'slooking right, you know my my
standards and my principles andthose sorts of things are the
things that I live by.
The discipline is what happenswhen you don't do those things
correct.
So let's make sure that weunderstand those levels, because
(18:46):
the discipline is a totallydifferent thing.
Right, and we're gonna.
We're gonna levels, because thediscipline is a totally
different thing.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Right, and we're going to be bouncing back and
forth on all different levelshere.
I'm just kind of givingexamples here, when we talk
about morals, standards andvalues and principles.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Okay, to me those are the things of.
You know.
My morals are what's right andwrong, correct.
You know what's good and bad.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Now would you say that your religion holds a good
chunk of your morals.
Like you, draw from yourreligion a good chunk of your
morals.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
That's where you draw from.
I draw from my spiritual beliefin God and Jesus Christ and the
Holy Spirit.
You know I've said this beforeReligion to me is kind of a
sketchy thing, so we aren'tgoing to get into that.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Well, we're not talking organized religion.
I'm talking your own personal.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, I would say yes .
And we were down at thefarmer's market one day and one
of the guys they had a booththere of atheists, yeah, and one
of the guys was kind of yellingout, you know, are you limited
in your life, you know, and blah, blah, blah and he was kind of
(19:55):
you know obviously.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
He was drawing people in.
Yeah, he was advocating for anatheist.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And Dr Domain looked at me and he said do you think
we're limited?
And I said, absolutely, we'relimited by the word of God,
right, and we want to be limitedby the word of God, right, and
we want to be limited by theword of God, right, we want to
follow those rules.
And so, yeah, I think that that, yeah, I think that drives me.
Um, my mom was very, veryreligious and when I was a kid,
you know, I did the same thingyou kids are doing to me now is
(20:24):
I said oh, for the love of God,please stop talking about.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
No wait, I don't do that.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
No, you don't.
I don't do that to you, but Idid.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
And I was always there with Grandma Dickie, you
know, with her Her Jesus radiowas always on.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Oh, God love her.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
And I never had a problem with that.
I did, I did.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
You know, I felt like it was being shoved down my
throat and I was being judgedall the time.
And now here's but wait, let me.
Let me just explain.
I think there's a differencebetween treating, teaching.
You know morals and valuesabout.
You know a religion, that thatfocuses on love and
understanding and forgivenessand that sort of thing, as
opposed to being threatened.
He's coming after you, you.
He'll be back one day and you'regonna burn in hell yeah and
(21:12):
that was that was kind of how wewere raised, you know, by
brimstone and and fire, and sowe were scared, you know, and so
, yeah, that was something thatI kind of I really rejected
right now.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I remember that.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I remember that yeah, and now that I've gotten older
and I certainly understand, Ifeel like I understand a lot
more and I feel like I'm muchmore understanding with people
than I've ever been is, yeah, itis about love, it's about
understanding, it's aboutforgiveness, it's about give
them the benefit of the doubtfor crying out loud.
(21:48):
You know what's it going tohurt you.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Let me ask you this.
So we all know you are veryspiritual, you have a very
strong spirituality whateverpeople want to call it a
religion a bond with God.
Okay, Do you think that withoutthat, the morals and values
(22:14):
cannot be the same?
Like, let me give you anexample, like, let's say, you
know that I'm I'm very open withmy children.
I do not raise my children in areligious household for a
reason and it has nothing to dowith anything bad against you or
religion or god or anythingelse.
I have raised my children withmorals and values and respect.
(22:41):
Now do you think that withoutthat religion that it could
still be having this?
Those morals?
Like you know, like you know,don't kill people, or let me
just answer that real quickly.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
The answers no, you don't believe that.
I do not.
I do not beyond a shadow of adoubt.
Do I believe that that you know, because there's too many
people that do wrong unlessthey're being watched to do
right.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
So you think that the threat of damnation, let's say,
is what keeps people's moralityon the level that allows the
population to coexist in apeaceful way?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I think that it plays a big role.
Now, I want to mention thisbecause and I'm not talking one
certain religion, I'm talkingall relations, sure sure,
because they're all tight,you're all you know it's all
tied together one way or theother, one way or the other,
right you know, we have a niecethat, or I have a niece that is
she doesn't believe in god atall, you know, and she's made
(23:47):
that very clear to me, and uh,love her, love her to death.
Now does she go out and murderand kill and steal and do all of
that stuff?
No, she doesn't, right?
Okay?
So there are some boundariesthere and you have to ask
yourself what's stopping you?
What is stopping you If youdon't believe in in God, you
(24:09):
don't believe in Jesus, youdon't believe in that Holy
Spirit, or you don't believe inyour creator?
What's stopping you?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
So what is stopping people then?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
That's a good question.
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Natural law.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
And I think it is natural law.
And you know, maybe you want toweigh in on this Dr Domain
because you're more of an experton this than I am by far, but I
really and truly do feel forthe most part, bobby, yeah, we
have to have, there's always aso you have to have that threat
(24:44):
of.
I don't think you have to havethat threat.
I think there's always anopposite right Good, bad light,
dark.
I think there's always anopposite right Good, bad light,
dark.
I think there's always.
We know there's evil in theworld.
There's got to be good rightand it isn't just oh, I'll do a
good deed today.
A good deed does not a goodperson make.
You have to have something inyou that drives you to be a
(25:08):
really good person, and I thinkthat there is.
There are some boundaries thatyou have to live by I think,
that there's some rules that youhave to live by, so yeah, go
ahead.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm sorry, dr domain.
No, I was just saying a naturallaw, it's all it's the basis
for I think it's an inherentmorality that we all have.
We objectively probably realizethat it's not good to kill
someone, and so I think that'sthe basis for a lot.
I mean, the Lord even handeddown a lot of the commandments
(25:40):
that are based on natural law.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And so that's, I think, really a guiding
principle of what keeps us allfrom being incarcerated or
murdering other people orwhatever that right.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
there is an excellent point.
He did hand down a lot ofthings that are natural law that
we would never do.
We would never do because weknow they're wrong.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I don't know man.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
God killed a lot of people just to kill them.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Okay, so I'm not saying.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
But I don't want this whole podcast to be about
religion?
Yeah, but I mean I don't wantto pull it all into religion
because that's not where I'mgoing with it.
I get it.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But I do want to say this that you know there's a lot
of confusion out there aboutwhat's in the Bible and what God
did and what Jesus did and thatsort of thing.
And you're right, there were alot of people that went to war
for God right there were a lotof people that were killed on
behalf of God, smited off theearth.
Off the earth, they're done, youknow.
And to say that I understandevery decision he makes,
(26:44):
absolutely, I do not.
You know.
We've had those discussions.
How is is it that happened?
The bible is full of brokenness.
That bible is not wheresomebody says, oh, I'm not going
to read the bible, I'm notgoing to go to church, I'm not
going to doing that because, youknow, uh, everybody thinks that
they're so great, they'renothing but brokenness in that
(27:05):
bible to show that he created usand we kept screwing up.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Well, I mean people are going to people.
They've been people in sincethe beginning of time.
You know it is what it is andit's not like you didn't know it
was going to happen and like Isaid I, you know I don't want to
pull this into religion typething, but one thing that you
did say that I'm going to kindof piggyback off of is when we
had the episodes about theschool shooting.
Now, let me let me forward thisby saying we haven't that's
(27:36):
really been the only time thatwe have fully and it's not even
been fully that we have openedup about the school shooting.
One thing that I do rememberthat you had said, and you've
said a few times, even in thedeath penalty episode, um is the
fact that I and I did let youspeak for me and I shouldn't
have, but I didn't want toruffle the feathers right then
(28:00):
you had said you know where, wewere not about hate, we were not
about revenge, we were notabout, um, you know, hurting
other people, things like that.
Listen, and this might come asa shock to you I don't think it
will, though, because I thinkthat you've learned a lot about
(28:20):
me in the last 10 years that youdidn't know before.
But, um, I got a lot of hate andI'm not, I'm not ashamed of it
and I'm not gonna let that go,because that's a lot of hate and
I'm not, I'm not ashamed of itand I'm not going to let that go
, because that's a lot of peoplesay.
Well, you know, hate is likedrinking a poison and expecting
the other person to die.
No, that's not how it is.
A lot of people have come to usand said things which I call
(28:44):
toxic positivity, and you andI've had this discussion before
and I and I've actually had tostop you before.
Well, it could have been worse.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Well, thank, god, I've never said it could have
been worse.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Well, but you have on other things what I it could be
worse what I did.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I've never said no.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
No, I'm saying on on other things.
So you know, you say, hey, lookat the bright side, it could be
worse, you could have it as badas other people.
That's toxic positivity andthat is something that we don't
do in our household, becausesometimes shitty things happen
and there is no damn reason forit.
(29:20):
You cannot sit there and tellme that there was a reason for
things to happen as theyhappened or when they happened,
because sometimes shitty thingsjust happen there are shitty
people out there and they doshitty things and nothing can
sit here and tell me that therewas a reason for it.
(29:41):
Are we stronger for it?
Yes, but you know there's a lotof toxic positivity that does
not allow us to fully grieve forwhat we have been through, and
I think that that is verydamaging to people.
And a lot of people have saidyou know, we're about
forgiveness, we're aboutpositivity, we're about things
like that.
(30:01):
I'm not going to lie.
Had that kid not taken his ownlife in that school that day, he
never would have made it tocourt.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Taking his own life in that school that day he never
would have made it to court andI would have made sure of it.
So listen, I'm just and I neverand I never would have thought
twice about it let me just saythis bobby, I have never said,
oh, things could have beenbetter, especially well, you
said things could be worse.
You know when we come to youwith problems, thank god you
know, thank god that that westill have court, thank you know
.
Well, yeah, no to you withproblems, thank god.
(30:30):
You know, thank god that thatwe still have court, thank you
know well, yeah, no, I'm talkingabout other things you know
like oh, you know we're in a badspot.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Well, things could be worse.
You could be this person.
You know things could be worselike that.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
But okay, I get what you're saying it's.
I get what you're saying, butthat's not what I've ever said,
because I I'm very careful notto say that.
But what I will say is this wedon't understand everything.
No, we don't know why thingshappen.
And to sit here and act like wedo, I will never know why
people do things.
How silly is that Because wedon't know.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
We don't know anything About everything.
I mean, there's so many things.
All we can do is try to pickourselves up.
So when I say I try to staypositive on it, I do.
I've never, ever said you knowwell, things could be better.
I've never said that.
But what I have said is listen,here's what we have to do.
(31:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And you have been a good source of that positive
uplifting we have had to staypositive just to keep ourselves
moving.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Do I understand why?
I don't have a clue.
I don't have a clue why thingshappened in the Bible the way
that they did when you want totalk about religion and what
happened with God.
I don't have a clue.
I ask it all the time.
It's like how can that happen?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
And yet we're told never to kill and that comes
back around to the morals andvalues you know.
You are a very spiritual personabsolutely go with the word of
god.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yep, um, so you do things like thou shall not kill
thou you know things like that Iam not along that line but you
were the same one that said I Idon't agree with capital
punishment correct, correct.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
but at the same time, like I said, had that person
been walked out of that school,I would have made sure upon my
dying breath that he never wouldhave made it to that courthouse
and I.
I know that that disappointsyou and I know that that breaks
your heart, but there are sometimes when I believe in the eye
(32:40):
for the eye and that is onlybecause I cannot trust.
There is no justice system.
There's a legal system.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Right, we've talked about that.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
We have talked about that.
We have talked about that.
I will never trust the legalsystem to put back our family,
or anyone else's family, to bewhole again you and I do not
disagree on that bobby and Iwill and I will take my dying
breath if it means that I haverevenged something that has been
(33:11):
so horrific against my ownfamily.
Now does that mean I'm right?
Does that mean I'm going tohell for killing somebody?
Possibly, possibly, but I canjustify that in my own personal
space rather than to myself tomy future, to to my if there's
(33:33):
an afterlife.
I can justify that and I canclose my eyes and know that it
doesn't matter, because what Idid I did and I do not have any
regrets for it, and that issomething that we do, we on, and
there's a lot of things wediffer on we do, and that is.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
We do and you know I mean we did differ on the death
penalty and after you and Italked about it, I kind of agree
with you on that, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
But if it got right down to it and you know, I'm
just not in agreement with thegovernment doing it, oh gosh,
because they're idiots yeah,they're idiots anyway.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
But um, you know, I mean we joke all the time about
hey, well, you know, we know howto hide a body.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I mean I mean we do the thing is we kind of joke?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
we do, but you know um, you know the thing is but I
would, but I wouldn't lose sleepover it.
I will say that, yeah, youwould.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
No.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
But these people who say you know he killed my son,
but I forgive him in court, theygo.
I've forgiven him.
God love them for being able todo that, because I don't know I
could never.
And God help me, because Idon't think I could.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
But the forgiveness is not for the offender.
The forgiveness is for thesurvivors.
I don't need that forgiveness.
I don't need to forgive him orhis family for what they allowed
, for what they did, for theirrole in it.
I don't need to forgive thembecause I don't need that
forgiveness for their role in it.
I don't need to forgive thembecause I don't need that
forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
So, getting back to the whole topic in general, you
know of morals, values,standards, you know ethics, that
sort of thing.
They're all different things,obviously.
Religion, you know, to me helpsdrive.
That's kind of a guideline forme, right?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
For you?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
yes, yeah and for many people.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
For a lot of people, yeah, For a lot of people, a lot
of people.
But there are people out therethat have no religion, no
spirituality, and yet they stillfollow those moral lines.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
They still follow those ethical lines and I think
that gets back to that natural,natural, uh, you know, way of
life, natural rules, Um but I dosee a lot of parents looking at
their kids going man, I didn'traise you like this.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
These are not our morals, these are not our values
.
How did you ever come up withthis?
And all I can say to them islook, they're their own people.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Well, you know, bobby , when you guys were being, you
know, when you were younger, oneof the things that and I've
said this before I thought I wasa good parent.
I wasn't a really good mombecause I wasn't a real nurturer
, but you know, my wholeobjective was to teach you right
and wrong, what's good and bad,what you do and don't do.
(36:22):
You know the things to makeyourself feel valuable in this
lifetime, and you know to moveforward and you know turn you
out to be a good citizen ofsociety, not to be a burden to
society.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It only took 40 years to stick.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Well, but I mean.
I want you to think about howmany people are raising kids
that are literally burdens tosociety, correct?
Oh, you know whether it's.
You know that I have.
You know, problems where Ican't get a job because I can't
(37:02):
go to work, I can't be withpeople, or you know I play games
in my parents' basement, for,you know, 14 hours a day.
Whatever you know I mean, to methat's just part of society
anymore.
But my objective, you know, wasreally to turn you out to be
something of value.
I truly believe we are not herefor ourselves.
(37:24):
I truly believe we are here forother people.
I truly believe that my jobevery single day is to look for
a way to help someone else.
Right now, I don't get to dothat every single day, but I
really do look for it.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
I think that that should be something that is in
your daily life.
How can I help?
What can I do?
What can I do?
But at the same, I don't agreewith that Because, in the
overall cosmic universe of it,okay, who's going to make me
happy?
Who's going to look out for me?
Who's going to make sure thatmy mental health and my life is
(38:08):
something that I will enjoy andnot just trudging through every
day?
And I'm going to tell you rightnow, we have a lot of mental
health issues out there.
There are absolutely real mentalhealth issues and we're not
putting any of those down.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
There are a lot of fake ones.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
It's a trend.
At this point it's a trend, butwhen it comes down to it, no
one else is out there lookingout for me.
No one is Everyone, and it's anarcissistic tendency.
I'm not saying we'renarcissists it is narcissistic
tendency.
We are born with narcissistictendencies absolutely what's
without them?
But without them, no one elseis going to give a shit.
(38:43):
If you're happy, no one is.
No one cares, no one cares.
Bob down the street doesn'tgive a shit if you woke up this
morning wanting to kill yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
He doesn't.
I don't think that's reallytrue.
I mean, you know what?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
When it comes down to it, I am the master of my
happiness, right, you're themaster of yourself, you're right
.
But you know, when it in theend, all be all.
I'm the only one that can makeme happy.
In the end, all be all.
I'm the only one that can makeme happy.
And if that means that I haveto kind of shun some things of
(39:17):
society, then so be it.
If I want to go live off gridin a cabin in the woods and not
talk to people for 402 days,leave me alone.
Absolutely, I'm making myselfhappy.
So what if I don't go down andvolunteer at the food bank every
week?
Speaker 1 (39:33):
so but if I don't donate, it's all about I'm.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
You're right, but I'm just saying you know, in the
overall, you know the forest forthe trees type of thing.
In the overall thing, no oneelse is looking out for your
happiness.
Your parents might be your, youknow your partner might be.
Those are they're choosing to.
A lot of parents anymore arenot choosing to look out for
(39:58):
their children's happiness.
What they're looking out for istheir own.
I get that, you know.
But as children grow and thingslike that, even you you're
looking out for your ownhappiness and I don't fault you
for that.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I am looking out for my own happiness.
I hope I don't fault you forthat.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I am looking out for my own happiness.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I hope that you do, but I don't put your guys' on a
shelf anymore.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
You're correct, but I hope that you do look out for
your own happiness, becausewe're too busy trying to survive
to worry about your happiness.
I get it.
I get it and there's a lot more.
You know that we can say thatwe disagree on.
You know morals and ethics wise, but you know that just kind of
touches on it and I think youknow that that's that's really a
(40:39):
good thing to kind of throw toour listeners about how, growing
up, even me and my sister havedifferent morals and ethics,
right?
So you know, sit down and thinkhow are my morals and ethics
different from my brother, frommy sister, from my mother, from
my father, from my grandparents?
(41:00):
And I'm not talking aboutgenerational ones, I'm talking
about ones that you grew uplearning and have either altered
or shied away from, because youhave learned a truth in life
that maybe they didn't have todeal with or you've grasped it.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yes, you know.
I mean there's always that andyou know what experience did.
Experiences did you have as achild growing up, or not even
just growing up, but even inyour 20s and 30s right?
Every day, every day, everysingle day, and so you know to
say you know, I don't care aboutsomebody else's happiness,
you're right, I'm responsiblefor my happiness.
(41:39):
I honestly am responsible formy happiness.
Um, if I, you know, don't feelsomething is going the way it
needs to go, I'm gonna.
It's up to me to change that.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Correct.
Like they say, you know, prayto God, but row towards the
shore because nobody's coming tosave you.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
You can pray to God, but he gave you those arms to
row Exactly.
You know so, and I do.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I'm going to tell the listeners I do use a lot of
religious terms and things likethat, because I have learned how
to communicate with my motherand my grandmother, who has
passed on, and I do that out ofrespect for them, because when I
am comforting someone, if theyhave a you know a religious
tendency or a spirituality, Itry to use that in order to
(42:25):
connect with them now, bobby.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
You told me one time that you do believe in god I
didn't say i't.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
I've never said I don't believe in.
God, but my spirituality isdifferent.
It's different and it looksdifferent and it sounds
different and it's personal tome, so it's not anything that I
would ever need to put on a showfor or in a building or share
with other people, becausethere's a lot of things that
(42:52):
contradict other things with meand I don't feel like I want to
explain them okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Well, I think that's probably where we should
probably end for the day.
I think that was a really goodtopic, but I do not appreciate
you dropping stuff on me at thelast minute where I can't look
anything up or just even prepare.
But thanks anyway.
Some of the best podcasts comefrom the unprepared.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
So I do think that that is all of the insanity that
we have for everybody today.
We sure do appreciate youjoining us here at the Rabbit
Hole Studio.
Hey guys, if you like us, besure to follow us.
Share us with your friends.
If you hate, follow us, shareus with your friends.
If you hate us, share us withyour enemies.
We don't care, um, if you havepositive feedback for us or if
(43:39):
there's a topic you want todiscuss, if you have some
constructive criticism, we'vegot an email.
It's boomerangenexer atgmailcom.
If hate mail, well, we're justnot interested in that.
So until next week, I'm BobbyJoy.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
And I'm Jane Burt and you're stuck with us.
Peace out Later.
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