On episode 57 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with my dear friend & role model, Dr. Ben Rein: neuroscientist, author of Why Brains Need Friends, & award-winning science communicator. A Stanford-trained researcher who has published 20+ papers on the neurobiology of empathy, autism, & social behavior, Ben has also pioneered the use of social media to teach millions, dismantle misinformation, & humanize the brain.
But this episode isn’t just about his work: for the first time, Ben shares his story in full—raw, vulnerable, & unfiltered. He opens up about finding his voice through shyness in childhood, the rejection that nearly made him give up, the imposter syndrome that followed him for years, & the nightmare that forced him to confront his deepest fears. He shares what it felt like to fail publicly, to question his worth, & to rebuild from that place with nothing but persistence & purpose. We also go behind the scenes of his debut book,Why Brains Need Friends—from the personal stories that shaped its pages to the emotional cost of living between the microscope & the mirror.
Across two hours, we dive deep into the biology of empathy & belonging, how MDMA & oxytocin illuminate the brain’s circuitry for connection, and how kindness itself is a neurochemical process. We talk about burnout, authenticity, & the paradox of being “seen” by millions while still staying true to yourself. This episode is part masterclass, part mirror—a rare look at what it means to be a scientist, a communicator, & a whole human being trying to do good in the world.
Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):
(00:00:00) Welcome & introduction to Dr. Ben Rein, PhD!
(00:12:25) Who is Ben really behind the titles?
(00:18:40) Growing up in Buffalo: the quiet, book-obsessed kid who found confidence through connection
(00:26:55) The turning point — rejection, redirection, & the first spark of real scientific purpose
(00:33:20) College reinvention: rebuilding after failure, discovering neuroscience, & earning a 4.0 GPA
(00:39:50) Grad-school rejection letters → perseverance & persistence as scientific superpowers
(00:54:42) Understanding empathy in the brain: oxytocin, MDMA, & the neurobiology of connection
(01:05:10) Lessons from autism models: what social behavior looks like at the level of the neuron
(01:23:16) The nightmare that changed everything: confronting fear, failure, & what really matters
(01:33:12) The birth of Ben's SciComm: first TikTok video, the mask moment, & going viral overnight
(01:42:30) Balancing science & storytelling: rigor, relatability, & respecting your audience’s intelligence
(01:52:00) The invisible cost of visibility: burnout, criticism, & finding your moral center online
(02:02:40) Writing Why Brains Need Friends: translating warmth, data, & humanity into words
(02:11:45) Gratitude, friendship, & staying grounded: why connection is both his message & his method
Connect with Ben!
- LinkedIn
- X/Twitter: @dr_benrein
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