Jealousy, jokes, and the hard truths of narcissism—how one family turns chaos, grief, and healing into love, laughter, and boundaries

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
Good evening and welcome to another episode of a
contagious smile unstoppable.
My sexy, wonderful, sweet,loving, definitely not listening
t-shirt wearing husband.

SPEAKER_00 (00:11):
Where is he?

SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
Oh, oh, okay.
Let's just start this out fun.
So my husband decides that he isgoing to create, and women know
this, a shelving unit over thislast week, right?
Because we were having a big uhgarage sale, if you will.
And so my husband hears thatthere is a friend, friend, who

(00:37):
may have left a voice message,and I hide nothing from my
husband.
He can access my phone, we knoweach other's passwords, you
know.
He'll be like, Hey, my text justwent off.
Can you go check it?
No, I'm not going for yourphone.
But I started to hear it, andSafe and I were like, What?
So I let my husband hear it.
Well, we didn't finish hearingit until later.

(01:01):
So my daughter is a littleinstigator, and so she's like,
Dad, you got to hear the rest ofthis.
So we let him hear this, and allof a sudden, my throws the
hammer by accident.
It comes out of his hand whenhe's hearing this, and it hits

(01:21):
my martial art training dummyBob, right?
And he's like, What?
All of a sudden, the wholeshelving unit on the ground,
like the whole thing goes intodisarray.
It's kind of fun, but I'm sorry.
One of the sexiest things aboutyou 25 years ago is a little
jealous streak you had, and thiswas just it was hot.

(01:43):
I'm sorry.
We were cracking up laughingbecause it was funny, but it was
hot.
You are all red faced, but youknow what?
You should be flattered.
It wasn't even, and you knowwhat?
It really wasn't.
It wasn't I should be flatteredthat somebody, you know.
I mean, don't say who, but Imean the oh, I'm gonna say his
name.

SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
No, yes, no, yes, then this was our and then
here's the thing is that it'snot just that, it's the fact
that, like, you know, there wasno wrong intent.
I mean, would I relate a messagelike that to somebody?
No, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 (02:18):
This message would have been perfect had I dialed
one 900.

SPEAKER_01 (02:25):
No, okay, yes, no, no.
Anyway, it was downright funny.
So that was a little conductroom, if you will.
That was fun.
Of course, great thought it wasgreat.
So, all kids, if you are underthe age of 18, please don't
listen to this next little bitif you're uh my husband is

(02:49):
really gonna get me out.
So, parents pause and come backto this later or walk away
because it is hilarious, butit's not for the youth.
So our daughter Faith, oursweet, beautiful, innocent,
loving, wonderful daughter, asksme while I'm driving if men get

(03:10):
turned on by verbal cues.
Right?
Now let's remember, in case youdon't know, I am completely
1000% deaf in the right ear.
She is on the right side whenI'm driving.
I'm like, wait, what?
What did she say?
What was it?
Do men get uh turned on when youtalk to her to them?

(03:33):
Fair enough questions, she's ofage, right?
She's curious and wonderingwould I prefer that she does
this when I wasn't operatingmotor motor vehicle?

unknown (03:42):
Of course.

SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
But she asks, and I'm like, I I assume so, I guess
so.
And she goes, Oh, okay, I getit.
So a man's penis is like Alexaor Siri, they respond
accordingly.
So how do you not if you sitback and think about that for a
minute?
That's not right, it's funny.
It's hilarious.
It really is.

SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
So But not going around saying, hey dad, uh
Alexa, Siri.

SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
Now what do you do?
But it it really kind of is kindof funny.

SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Yeah.
Because, you know, I I mean it'shilarious.
I'm I'm dying laughing.

SPEAKER_01 (04:25):
Because, you know, she's like, so men get aroused
by voices, so in turn, they areAlexa or Celie, and it's
downright funny.

SPEAKER_00 (04:40):
So we've been busy.
We had a good yard sale, ouryearly yard sale at this time.
We got another one coming, butum yeah, had a good yard sale,
met a lot of people, a lot ofgood people.
Turned out that uh some of thefolks at the yard cell bought my
wife's book, at least one ofthem.
You got some new members to ouracademy.

SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
Welcome all.

SPEAKER_00 (05:01):
Got some new followers, and uh, if y'all are
listening, I think your phone ispicking up everything I'm
saying.

SPEAKER_01 (05:08):
Wow, wow, talk to text.

SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
Hey, that's your phone.
Oh, because I said Siri.

SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Wake up, Junior.
Well, okay, I'm I'm tellingfaith.
You just proved it, ladies andgentlemen.
Millions of listeners, Michaeljust proved it.
This is hilarious.
Oh god.
Anyway, good job.
Thanks, good luck.

(05:35):
Hold on, thank you.
Thanks.
I'll be here for a while.
Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
That's wow.
Oh, let's see.
What else?

SPEAKER_01 (05:43):
Okay, so let's talk for a minute, seriousness, okay,
and let's talk about narcissism,right?
It's a topic that narcissists donot want to discuss, and the
black sheep can't discussenough, right?
So I say this all the time thatit took me over four decades to

(06:04):
realize what I can bring to thetable.
Trend can decades.
You need to just have a 29thbirthday.
I did kickstand.

SPEAKER_00 (06:14):
You know what?

SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
Yeah, see how that works, ladies.
So here's what I'm saying.
So I took four decades to reallylearn that I know what I can
bring to the table, right?
Narcissists, I'm still embracingyour herbage.
This is gonna be greatconversation to have with our

(06:38):
kids.
So, anyway, so we know whatwe're bringing to the table.
Narcissists want to cut the legsoff the table underneath you,
right?
Because the last thing they'reever gonna do is admit fault.
They don't have the balls to doit, right?
They are so quick, fast, in ahurry to literally be like, hey,
you know, I'm the shit, I doeverything right, I'm amazing.

(07:00):
Pat my back, stroke my ego.
That fall under the Alexistheory thing.

SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
Really?

SPEAKER_01 (07:06):
Sorry, anyway.
But you go through and youliterally, the narcissist is
just meticulous and control of,and they come off as just one
way to when that door shuts,they care more about what people
think of them on the outsidethan what their own family does
on the inside, and that is youcan't get more gospel than that.

(07:28):
And when you realize what youcan bring to the table and what
they try to take away, that'swhen you realize you know what,
I am more than just fine eatingalone, I don't need them at the
table because that is nothingmore than something that's gonna
turn your stomach.
Because it's it's literallylike, thank you for showing me
that I deserve more.
Because as the black sheep, youspend the majority of your life

(07:51):
defending what you didn't do,like you're held accountable for
actions that you had noinvolvement in.
None doesn't matter if you'reeven in a geographic state or
not, you are gonna be heldresponsible for their
conundrums, their screw-ups,their f-ups.
They're gonna be put on you.

(08:12):
But the minute anything is good,they take full credit.
Like, oh, look at me, I savedthe day.
Look at me, I did this.
But what you don't know is youmake yourself out to be this
hero, but nobody knows all thepittings that go behind it that
really have no involvement ofyou whatsoever.
You know, for instance, if Iwrote a book, which I've written

(08:36):
one or two, the narcissist willbe like, you might have written
it, but you couldn't havewritten it had I not given you
the material for the content ofthe book, right?
Like these are things that areso true that if you're not a
narcissist, you scratch yourhead and go, What the hell?
That doesn't even make sense.
What the hell?
What the hell?
And if one more person tells meI'm getting southern sounding, I

(08:59):
don't know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna blame it on my my lossof hearing because people are
like, You your speech changes,and so people you know tell me.
You don't want to look southernany I get southern in me.

SPEAKER_00 (09:13):
You know what?
PG 13.

SPEAKER_01 (09:14):
Okay, kickstand.
So anyway, here's well, babe,no, this is October's domestic
violence awareness month, andabuse is not limited to physical
assault, right?
It's not because I can tell youfrom someone who's been in
abusive relationships most of mylife, except now, thank God,

(09:37):
that yes, bruises heal, youknow, fractures can be set,
breaks can be set, get a cast,yes, it sucks, it hurts, but you
know what?
That injury for the most partgoes away.
If you get a surgical scar, youknow, I tell women all the time,
you know what, it's closed andit's a reminder of what a badass
you are because you conqueredit, you overcame, you survived,

(10:02):
right?
This is a reminder of howawesome you are.
But when you're told at likenine years of age that I wish
that I had miscarried you, thoseare things that haunt you for
the rest of your life.
The words that you strive for asa black sheep are, I'm proud of
you, you did a good job, greatwork, you know.

(10:24):
How about something as simple asI love you?
Those are things that blacksheep never hear, ever, ever,
ever.
Because my husband will tellyou, we were around my
narcissistic firm donor, and he,you know, my husband was like,
Oh, she's been in five magazinesthis month, she's on two uh two
covers.
And he was like, You should beproud of her.
And he couldn't say it.

(10:45):
He could not say, I'm proud ofher.
And he was like, Yeah, okay.
Not can I see the magazines?
Can you send me the articles?
I even because we went throughthis wonderful window of like
years of no content, and then heapproached my husband, and then
there's been nothing elselately, but I'm sure it'll come
around again.
I just probably jinxed myself,but he saw the magazines, and

(11:09):
not once did he want to read thearticle, not once did he even
want to look at the article,right?
But here's the thing if faithcame up to Michael or I and
said, I wrote a poem, I drew apicture, I parted a hole in a
piece of paper.
Whatever it is, we stop whatwe're doing instantly, and we
want to hear the story, we wantto see what she's done, we want

(11:31):
to see what she's doing becausethank you.
She matters that phone callyou're on, and you know, that
text message, that TikTok video,there's a pause button for a
reason.
Hit pause.
You can reassume it later, youcan go back to it later.
That video, you're not gonnaremember it in a year, you're
not gonna remember it in a week,but you're gonna remember that

(11:52):
beautiful poem that was writtenthat she took the time to say,
you know what, mom, daddy, youmatter so much.
I want your opinion.
I want you to hear it, I wantyou to see what I do.
And those are memories that notonly do not only does my husband
and I cherish immensely, but itmeans the world of faith because
she's like, they're proud of me,they like my work, you know.

(12:15):
It might not be our forte, itmight not be our favorite topic
of whatever it is she's writingabout at that moment, but you
can still say withwholeheartedness, she's a
phenomenal writer, right?
She writes with such emotion andsincerity and genuineness, and
regardless of the topic, you cansay that with certainty, whether

(12:37):
you like the topic of it or not,right?

SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
And we get this all the time, you know, with our
daughter.
Uh, whenever she finishes a poemor a song or a short story or
even a uh background on one ofher characters for her book, she
excitedly comes up saying, Youknow, mom, dad, I want to read
something to you.
I want you to listen to this.
And then, you know, we stop whatwe're doing, we look her in the

(13:00):
eye, we pay attention.
Now, uh, if I can't hear, I I'llask her to speak up, or we'll go
someplace else, or we'll we'llstop the music or the TV or
whatever, because we want togive her that underdivided
attention because she's sohappy, so excited to present
this to us.
And, you know, afterwards, aftershe's read it, she wants us to
critique it.

(13:20):
How was it?
You know, was it good, bad,indifferent, you know?
And we tell her, so you know,give give your child that
moment, you know, or that lovedone, you know, show them that
they matter, you know, stop,pause that damn video game,
pause that movie, stop whatyou're doing, turn around, look
them in the eye, you know, showthem, hey, you've got my full

(13:41):
undivided attention.
I'm showing you you care enoughthat I'm gonna stop the world
for you, right?

SPEAKER_01 (13:48):
And you know what?
Outside of your inner circle, dothey really matter in a week or
a month?
Are you really gonna like youknow, the thing is, and we
always talk about sperm donor,and a lot of times we talk about
your mom, but like, you know, mybiggest condolences because we
just had a death in the familyand it was an immediate, you

(14:10):
know, unknown, unexpected death.
And we reached out to his mom,and like it it dumbfounds me how
when somebody passes away,people I don't I don't even
know, like how how do youexplain it?
That how some people just havethis attitude about it.

SPEAKER_00 (14:36):
Um I mean I don't know.
Sorry for the pause, but I'm I'mall lost.

SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
Well, no, because it wasn't, you know, like when
somebody when we heard, we werelike, we're on our way
immediately, you know, andthat's how it should be.
But if you ever question, issomeone a narcissist?
Here, you know, here's a goodcheckout list if you really
wanted it.
When you call and tell somebody,hey, somebody that you've known

(15:04):
for decades or whatever has justpassed away, and instead, what
do you normally do right on thebat?
Are you okay?
How are you doing?
Um, how's the spouse?
Right.
But when you're like, let metell you what's going on with
me, right?
I have to have this done.
I have cataracts, I have this, Ihave that, I have this.
Not how are you, not how are youhandling things, not how anybody

(15:24):
else, but it circles back aroundall about me, me, me, me, me,
me, me, me, me.
Like that's it.
Not about how any other memberis doing, not how any other, you
know, person in the home isdoing, it's me.
And that, you know, is just you,you, you just don't even have
words because, and the one thingyou will learn time and time
again from any psychology orpsychiatry course, class,

(15:48):
official person is that you'llnever understand the mind of a
narcissist if you're not one.
It's dumbfounding because youcan't wrap your head around the
logic that they call logic.
It just doesn't make sense.
It's just, you know, like somany people um come out of the

(16:09):
woodwork when something likethat happens, and it's like, oh,
what can I put my my hands on?
What can I get?
What can I, you know, reach for?
And I'm talking about ingenerality, you know, they they
just that's very normal whensomeone passes away.
People just everywhere come out.
What can I get?
What's left?
What's been, you know, what'shere, what's there.
And then when you ask, can youhelp me with this?

(16:30):
I've got to do this.
Can you help me with that?
They're gone.
They're no longer in thepicture.
There's a great, you know,they're two farts in the wing.
And it's, you know, where wheredo they go now?
They were great when their handswell were out, but their hands
not out anymore.
And that's just it dumbfounds mebecause what happens when that

(16:50):
person gets that age and theyhave no one?
And you know, one of the thingsthat I I wish people would say
more often to those POSs thathave treated their own kids so
bad, we're grown adults, right?
But we're still someone'schildren, and we did not ask to
be put on this planet.

(17:11):
God put us here, and we're notpreaching our religion by any
means, but the individuals thatraised us or gave us to someone
else to raise still had aninfluence in our raising, and
they chose to do whatever, if itwas self-centered or not, but at
some point in their life, theyare going to want something and

(17:34):
reach out, and that's when theydo, they only reach out when
they want something, not whenit's a birthday or if somebody
is sick, like when Faith was inthe hospital and she almost
died.
We heard from neither side ofour family.
No one, not on Michael's side,not on my side.
Your dad, actually.
Yes, your dad did.
He was in tears, yeah.

(17:55):
Um, and and he wanted to come upand was unable to.

SPEAKER_00 (17:59):
We'll talk about that later later.

SPEAKER_01 (18:00):
Absolutely, that's as far as I'm going.
But your dad wanted to come upand he was crying profusely, and
he wanted to, but he was notable to come up.
And other than that, we didn'thear anybody from anyone on
either side of our family.
But it's like I have cataracts,I have I have my head in my ass.
I have, you know, what else wehear from other people?
You know, oh my this one, thisone is the one that really gets

(18:23):
me.
You have no idea what it's liketo take care of someone who has
medical needs.
Are you freaking kidding me?
You know, you just want to lookat them and ask them one simple
question.
When you pass away, who's gonnacome visit you?
Are you gonna be cold and lonelyin that box that's six feet down
in the ground?

(18:44):
Hopefully with dogs shitting allover the top of where you're
resting.
Because can you really lay atrest?
Are you really gonna be at rest?
You know, because nothing youthink you do is wrong.
Who's gonna come visit you?
You know, to this day, God blessmy grandparents, both of them,
they have been gone for decadesand decades.

(19:05):
Like we're talking over 30years.
We still go to the cemetery,like we just made a uh when I
was pregnant with faith, I madea golf ball Christmas tree, and
I put it together with golfteas, and I put it at the
headstone, and it took 20 yearsfor it to finally break down
completely, and we replaced it.

(19:28):
And even though I know thatthat's just their physical self,
I know that their spirit andsoul is not there.
We still go and change theflowers out and visit them and
stuff like that.
But you want to look at thesenarcissistic critics and look at
them and say, Who's gonna comevisit you?
Who's gonna come put flowers onyour grape?
Who's gonna maintain your yoururn?

(19:51):
Who's gonna visit you on theholidays or you know, anything
like that?
And I can put hand to God andsay, I still pray not only for
my whole family every night, Ipray for my ex, you know, that
he gets the help that hedeserves.
Do I think he will ever get it?
No.
Do I, you know, revenge is notours to give, and I know that,

(20:11):
but and I've never soughtrevenge after him.
I've never gone to his place ofemployment or where he lives or
anything like that, but I'mhuman.
And if something happened, Ijust want to hear about it.
I don't think that's unfair.
I've had over 100 surgeriesbecause son of a bitch.
I think it's fair for me to sayI'd like to hear about it.
I'm not gonna have anyinvolvement in it.
I'm not gonna, you know, make ithappen, but I just want to hear

(20:33):
about it.
I don't think that's unfair.
Is that unfair?
No, my husband's like, no, butthere's a hole in her backyard.

SPEAKER_00 (20:42):
You know me too well, babe.

SPEAKER_01 (20:44):
We are always on the same page.
Like this weekend, it's beenlike insane.
He would say, babe, I need youto and turn around and I'm
already doing it, you know.
Like that happens so many timesthis weekend.

SPEAKER_00 (20:57):
That's because you're my soulmate.

SPEAKER_01 (20:59):
Oh, my little ranch.

SPEAKER_00 (21:02):
Now I'm hungry.

SPEAKER_01 (21:04):
We just went to a steakhouse for dinner.
Thank God for you know, specialearly birds because we're old.
We try to go out to dinner onenight a week as a family.
The rest of the time we eattogether as a family, no
electronics, no hats, no nothingat the table.
We sit and talk about our day.

(21:25):
And I love that.
My husband and I don't doenough, but we do cook together.
Um, we don't get to do itenough.
After the garage sale, we wereboth kind of pooped.
And yesterday he took one of hismanly naps, which he calls 10
minutes and I call four hours.
And when he woke up, I hadalready made dinner and cleaned
the kitchen and started, youknow, doing other things.

(21:47):
And then he had on Friday, hehad to do something.
And when he got here, I hadalready gotten everything from
you know three levels down tothe garage outside for the
garage sale to you know have itput out.
And I finished all the signs,which is pretty impressive, may
I say, to I got the signs thatdidn't have the what do you call

(22:10):
it?

SPEAKER_00 (22:10):
Corgate and board.

SPEAKER_01 (22:12):
Yes, they were just signs, and it came with which I
don't understand, the stance.
They were as it was a set,right?
It came as a set, but it didn'tstick as a set.
So I taped, and you have toimagine it's kind of here's your
comical left.
Imagine a one-armed person,imagine like Jack Sparrow or
Captain Hook or whatever,getting tape and like holding

(22:34):
it, holding the post, holdingthe sign, taping the thing down,
cutting the tape off, or itdoesn't include itself back to
the role that you can't get thething done, you know, open back
up, and did this to like 12 or14 signs.
I was pretty dumb proud ofmyself.
It's not as simple as somepeople think.
No, it's not, you know, go tieyour own shoes one-handed and

(22:56):
see how that is.
You know, my husband says to me,How long does it take to piggy?
You know, and I'm like, You pullyour pants up with one hand.

SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
That's only because I won't come in and help.

SPEAKER_01 (23:06):
Son.
No, but I want all my listenersto next time you go to the
bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 (23:11):
Oh, now they're your listeners, and you are in there
in the bathroom, one hand.

SPEAKER_01 (23:17):
I want you to pull up your drawers and your pants,
one-handed, not one-handed foreach side, one-handed for the
whole caboodle.
Like, seriously, try that.
And then when you're in theshower, try.
If you're a girl or woman,sorry, try shaving one-handed,
your pits, everything, wash yourhair one-handed, condition it

(23:38):
one-handed, brush it one-handed.
Don't alternate hands, keep thesame hand going and do all of it
one-handed, and you will get asmithering little texture of
what it's like on a daily basis.
It is not simple.

SPEAKER_00 (23:52):
It's not simple.

SPEAKER_01 (23:54):
It's not.
It's so frustrating.
It's like, you know, cutting abagel.
How the same crack do you cut abagel?
How do you, you know, like thefirst time that we had dinner
after I became an amputee, andI'm like, how am I gonna cut my
chicken?
You know, how am I gonna to dowhat don't mess with me to do
whatever?

(24:14):
Um, it's not easy.
It really isn't like my husband,bless his thumping gazer.
We he laughs at me because wehave our own individual way of
folding towels, right?
Yes, it takes me a lot longer.
Fold a towel one-handed.

SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
That's not why I'm laughing.

SPEAKER_01 (24:32):
No, because he has he has this other way of doing
it.
You know, I'll make the bed,I'll change the sheets.
I mean, it is kind of funny.
We were changing the sheets theother night, and I'm trying to
stretch it over, as everybodyknows how you just stretch that
that fitted thing over themattress, and he goes to do it,
it plops off, and it, you know,we just start cracking up

(24:53):
laughing.
And I mean, there's hardly evera night where we're not like
belly laughing in this house.
I mean, it's constant, wouldn'tyou say?

SPEAKER_00 (25:03):
Yes, but you can't left field.
What you remember where you weregoing with this?

SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
The fact that one-handed you could do all the
stuff one-handed.
Okay, then you went intolaughter, but you we were belly
laughing because we werechanging the sheet, and I was
putting the fitted sheet on themattress one-handed, and then
you went to grab the other sideand it popped off, and we were
laughing.
That's not left field, that'sstraight in the center.

SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
Really, wife, you are an inspiration to others
with either uh disability ordeformity.

SPEAKER_01 (25:37):
It's not a disabled, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 (25:40):
You have possible you have accepted the challenge
and you have proven time andtime again that you can overcome
it, and you're doing itone-handed.
I mean, who who ties a shoeone-handed?
Okay, you you made a bow.
You you you tie yours in thedouble double knots, yes, okay.
You've written 42 books, right?

(26:02):
You run a successful companypodcast.

SPEAKER_01 (26:05):
It's not just a podcast, right?
We have a company, we also havean academy.

SPEAKER_00 (26:10):
You've written over 128 courses.

SPEAKER_01 (26:13):
134.

SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Okay, I was close.
But you do all this one-handed.
So you are an inspiration to alot of us.
I'm speaking for all y'all outthere in podcast land.

SPEAKER_01 (26:26):
Well, we do have some listeners that are not big
fans of ours.

SPEAKER_00 (26:29):
That's right, we do, don't we?

SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
They're listeners because they're nosy.
Yeah.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (26:38):
Hi, Dick.

SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
That's not who I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
Hi, Rich.
Uh Ma.

SPEAKER_01 (26:51):
No, it just said hi get it.

SPEAKER_00 (26:53):
Who else?

SPEAKER_01 (26:55):
Who else listens?

SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
I don't know, but there's too much silence.

SPEAKER_01 (27:00):
Yeah.
There there are some people whotune in to hear what we're up to
on our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 (27:05):
Um, forgetting somebody, I'm old.

SPEAKER_01 (27:08):
Well when you have somebody who runs their mouth a
lot, a lot gets more getscovered.

SPEAKER_02 (27:15):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (27:17):
But we do.
We have a few people who, youknow, don't approve of us
supporting and helping otherpeople.
Um, because it rains on theirbrain.
They don't want to providevalidation.
When they when you're anarcissist and and you have been
called out, they don't like thatbecause they no longer have that

(27:38):
control.
And the one thing about a blacksheep is the narcissist feels
they have complete control overthe black sheep.
And that's why that black sheeprole, the black sheep role is
given to the one that they fearthe most because they're the
most, you know, honest person.
That's why they belittle themand pull them down so hard so
that they have no self-esteem,self-worth, and that they

(28:02):
literally feel as if they'reworthless, and that everything
they do will never ever be goodenough, and that the narcissist
is the saving superhero whocleans up all the messes and has
to fix all your screw-ups andhas to come rescue you time and
time again because you make somany bad choices and you've done

(28:22):
so many bad things.
But you know what?
And you and I both can relate tothis.
If we had better role models itgrowing up in the form of people
who actually gave a shit besidelying down and getting yourself
knocked up, and it does take twoto tango.
I mean, one spits and onefertilizes.
I mean, you know, but at the endof the day, there's a lot more
to parenting than you know,pushing out a child and laying

(28:45):
down.
If you're going to beresponsible enough to lay down,
then you need to be responsibleenough to parent.
Or, you know, so many peoplewant children who can't have
them, don't have a child for afreaking tax write-off.
I mean, because no adult, I saythis, this is like one of my
go-to lines.
No adult should have to spendtheir adulthood recovering from
their childhood.

(29:07):
And and so many are.
So many are.
But if you can't hold yourselfaccountable because nothing
you've ever done in your lifeyou can ever say you did was
wrong, everything is everybodyelse's fault.
Nothing is ever your fault.
It's always because somebodyelse did it, you know.
Man up, drop your ball sack, andsay, I screwed up, I did.

(29:29):
I'm not perfect, I'm far fromperfect.
I but you know what?
So many people have done so manyother things in their life, and
they can repent and they can getforgiveness.
But at the end of the day, youknow, we have dedicated our life
to helping other people.
We don't sit there and usepeople.
We don't, if somebody needs us,they know we are right there

(29:52):
unless we are helping somebodyelse, you know.
But the very few times we havesaid, Hey, we need help from
certain people.
They have grabbed ass and ran,literally.
And it's it's ridiculous becauseso many of them will only come
around when they need something.
And it's a big screw you, youknow?

(30:14):
But to how you can do so manythings.
I mean, for instance, why dopeople care so much about
materialistic things more thanthey do their loved ones in
general?
I mean, I don't understand that.
Memories are what fills theheart, not the bank account.
And then I have a roof over myhead and clothes on my family's

(30:36):
back.
And there is food in that inthat fridge and food in that
kitchen.
And I don't care if it's bakedbeans and cereal.
And we have five shirts andpants each.
But you know what?
We're wealthier than themillionaire in the house that
has the coldest museum you'veever seen, that can't put their
hands on the walls, has to wearshoes throughout the house, and

(30:58):
and you know, takes people forgranted and and uses people for
whatever they can get out ofthem and then disregards them
because he no longer needs them.
There's a big difference.
Are you doing your phone again?

SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Um texting your daughter.

SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
Oh, now she's my daughter.
Now she's my daughter.
But you know what?
This man is so wrapped aroundher finger, it is unheard of.

SPEAKER_00 (31:25):
Me?

SPEAKER_01 (31:26):
Yeah, you you are such a girly.

SPEAKER_00 (31:32):
Yeah, I'm daddy's girl.

SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
No, you're a girl daddy.

SPEAKER_00 (31:35):
I'm a girl dad.

SPEAKER_01 (31:36):
Yeah.
I'm the girl.
She she said earlier, I'm whenI'm great and I'm good, I'm
moms.
When I'm a smart ass and I'mpranking, I'm dads.
But if she looks at him, daddy,I wanna watch it.
Okay, what do you want to watch?
Dad.
Okay, what it doesn't even haveto be dad.

(31:58):
It's like death, and that's it.
Or dot.
No, that's yes in Russian.
That's yes in Russian.
But like it literally, she justhas to uh and okay, what do you
need, princess?
What do you need, Kookie Ookie?

SPEAKER_00 (32:09):
Like so I didn't tell you, I was at Subway today,
getting our lunch.

SPEAKER_01 (32:13):
Not her, she didn't eat Subway during our break.
Oh no, you got Subway, you gother pizza.

SPEAKER_00 (32:20):
You got see standing in the line at Subway was
another dad and his teenagedaughter, and she was holding on
to his arm just like just likeyep, and and I said to that man,
I said, My daughter does thesame thing.

SPEAKER_01 (32:37):
And where was she when this happened?

SPEAKER_00 (32:39):
Right there beside me.
And you were all red with theface, and I just said I said,
Pete Nut, see, you're not theonly one, and you wouldn't care
as long as she was.
Yeah, I'm not embarrassed tohave my daughter hug my arm.

SPEAKER_01 (32:53):
You open see what I love about my husband, and he is
so off the market, he is not,no, just no, is he opens the
door for her?
He you do, it is so sweet.
Like, is she still eating?
Because it does take her alittle bit longer to eat than
everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 (33:13):
That's because she enjoys my cooking.

SPEAKER_01 (33:15):
No, the fire department enjoys your cooking
because you set the alarm off.
He she sits down there with him,and then he sits down there with
her, and they're just they're socute together.
It is, it is the cutest littlething, it really is.

And here's the thing (33:31):
I told him two nights ago, he's gonna say,
no, no, no, is that in mygrandfather's eyes, I could do
no wrong, right?
Nothing, and he I was thegrandbaby, not because I was his
granddaughter, but grand in hiseyes was like top of the line,
right?
Couldn't get any better, youwere grand, and I was his baby,

(33:52):
so I was his grandbaby, but Icould do no wrong.
So I saw this from my own eyesthe other night when she said
something that I knew wascomplete horse crap, and my
husband took her side, was like,absolutely, that's right, Nina.
And I'm like, Oh my god, mygrandfather's right here again,

(34:12):
because he was the exact sameway, and he knew my husband knew
that what she was saying wasbogus.
He knew it, but he was not goingto tell her, he was just gonna
be like, Whatever you need, babygirl, whatever it is,
sweetheart.

SPEAKER_00 (34:27):
Oh, come on, I'm not that bad.

SPEAKER_01 (34:29):
You want to get her in here?
No, okay, so it was it was oh, Iwant to go make a snack.
Will you come down there and ohsupervise and watch me?
Okay, sweetheart, okay, babygirl.
And I was like, you know, dumband well, that girl is not gonna
go downstairs and make somethingto eat until you've told her
like 15 times.
We have to tell her like 15times it's snack time, and until

(34:51):
you do that, she is not gonna godown there.
He's like, Oh, yes, she will,because she's my daughter.
Yes, she will.
This man is so wrapped aroundher finger, it is not even
funny.
And he's just grinning from earto ear.

SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
You say I'm getting no defense, I can't say
anything.

SPEAKER_01 (35:14):
And I love it because my husband says all the
time how much he loves us, andyou know, I told her earlier at
dinner, I said, I still look atmy husband and I still have a
crush on my husband.
Even after all this time, Istill have a I get like
childhood crush on my husband.

(35:34):
You know, he always runs hishands down my face, and I've
never had that feeling fromanybody else.
And after we broke up the firsttime, I wouldn't let anybody
else do it because that was histhing, and it was just the and
it was even when we weretogether, it was before the
abuse, and I always felt justthe sense of safety, even though

(35:56):
I didn't need to be protected,it was just how I felt when I
was with him.
It was amazing, and then for himnow to talk about how happy he
is, because I've seen howunhappy he was when we weren't
together, when we weren't whyare you looking for faith?

(36:16):
I'm not you you just turned youreyes and looked the other way at
the same time of answering me.

SPEAKER_00 (36:21):
I hear it.
Maybe it was a dog at the doorscratching.

SPEAKER_01 (36:23):
No, and you keep checking your phone.
No, because I'm texting faith,no, but I knew how unhappy you
were in your previous two, andwhen I would talk to you only as
friends after I learned aboutthe first one, it broke my heart
to hear how sad you were.
Like it just your disposition,demeanor, everything changed

(36:45):
dramatically, and I hated it.
Now you're nothing like that.
Like I've saved voicemails fromhim, and I let him hear it, and
he was like, I can't believe Iwas like, like, that's not me,
right?
No, it's not you, you're notthat person anymore.
Oh my heavens.
Hey, come here a minute, Fates.
We're on air, and I want to askyou a couple questions, real

(37:08):
quick.
You say so I was saying earlierthat you're not necessarily a
daddy's girl, that he's a girldaddy, because he is wrapped
around your finger.
Do you think I'm right or wrong?
And what do you tell everybodywhen you're good?
Who do you belong to?
And when you're bad?
Yeah.

(37:32):
And I did tell your joke aboutdoes talking dirty is that.
So let me tell you whathappened.
Welcome, Alexa.
So let me tell you whathappened.
So it's not S I R I here startstalking.
And right after I say what youtold everybody, you know, the

(37:53):
joke, he starts saying, okay,but I'm not S-I-R-I.
And the next thing I know, thephone starts writing everything
he says.
And I was like, I'm telling you,you validated this completely.
Absolutely.
Oh, yeah, I had to go back thereand do every single word.

(38:13):
But we were talking about howyou could do no wrong in daddy's
eyes, and he said that's nottrue.
Is that right or wrong?

SPEAKER_02 (38:21):
Well, I'm wrong with my eyes.

SPEAKER_01 (38:29):
When you're not here, all he talks about is how
much he loves you and adoresyou.
I said, You are a girl dad.
You know what he said?
I he says, There's nothing I cansay to that because it's true.
Oh no, I heard no.

SPEAKER_00 (38:42):
Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 (38:43):
Well, he was like, Well, when I went to Subway
earlier, I was like, No, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no.
Point Freeman, you didn't gether Subway, you took her to get
pizza.
You got Subway, she wantedsomething else, and you took her
to get it.
So true.
He tries to play tough guy, buthe really can't because he is a

(39:06):
big softie.
Don't you think so, K May?

SPEAKER_00 (39:10):
Yeah, yeah, such a softie and stucco come and
visit.

SPEAKER_01 (39:16):
Stuck will be.

SPEAKER_00 (39:17):
So he came to change the subject.

SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
No, he didn't.
He came to say that you're verysoft when it comes to your
little girl over here.
He is a girl dad.

SPEAKER_00 (39:27):
Me or the dog?

SPEAKER_01 (39:28):
Yeah.
Do you think that uh you can'tsay whipped because that's not
appropriate, but like when itcomes to being a dad, she can't
do anything wrong in your eyes.

SPEAKER_00 (39:40):
She can.
No, like right now.

SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I'm not going to fart.
That's your breath.
No.
If she says daddy, I want towatch.
I told him I was telling ouraudience, Faith, you don't even
have to say daddy.
All you have to do is say that.
And he, what is it, precious?
What is it, Press?
What is it, Princess?
That's all it takes.

SPEAKER_00 (40:12):
What really?

SPEAKER_01 (40:19):
Oh, you have crowd removed, and Benny Crocker over
here goes and makes you homemadepotatoes.
You know what?
Proval point.
Ask him if you he can make oneof his famous coffees for you in
a minute.

SPEAKER_00 (40:32):
Uh yes.
Anything you want, Princess.
See?
Will you make me one?
Um, sure.
We got time.
Do we have time?

SPEAKER_01 (40:44):
Why don't we have fun?

SPEAKER_00 (40:45):
Because we got a shower, got a bed.
It'll be a movie with her.

SPEAKER_01 (40:52):
Oh, wait, so you're gonna watch a movie with her as
well?

SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
Yes.
And then I can make your coffee.
What?
No.

SPEAKER_01 (41:00):
Ladies and gentlemen, do you see my blink?
Do you see my don't lick me,dog?
Don't call that boy my dog.
It isn't.
Stop licking him.
He's a good boy.
Would you like to take us outsince he's always, you know,
jumbering around?

(41:21):
Yeah, dad should do it.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (41:24):
Alright, y'all.
Y'all be listening to Victoria,Faith, and Michael, along with
Stucco and Rusty, our serviceanimals.
Thank y'all for listening toSmile.
Unstoppable.
Well uh we'll be back on nextweek.
And please go check out ourwebsite, jump on the Academy,

(41:44):
uh, take some of those coursesin there, and uh let us know in
a comment or review.
Bye bye, y'all.