August 4, 2025 • 49 mins
When we talk about domestic violence, the most damaging question survivors hear is "Why didn't you just leave?" In this raw and powerful episode, Victoria and Michael pull back the curtain on this misconception, sharing stories from their upcoming book project "Dear Silence, You Lost."
Victoria reveals a particularly moving submission from a child who once resented their mother for staying in an abusive relationship, only to later understand that leaving might have meant losing the protection their mother provided. This perspective shift challenges the judgment many survivors face and highlights the impossible choices victims must navigate within broken systems.
Drawing from personal experience, Victoria discusses her own journey of survival, including the physical consequences she still manages daily—hearing loss that will soon require major surgery, living with one arm, and dealing with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Yet despite these challenges, she focuses on creating accessible healing resources for others. "Nobody signs up and says 'hey, I want to be that battered wife,'" she reminds listeners. "And so many people are so quick to jump to ridicule instead of saying 'let me be your safe space.'"
The conversation shifts to breaking free from narcissistic relationships, with both hosts sharing their experiences with narcissistic parents who never take accountability for their actions. For those struggling with similar relationships, they offer practical advice on establishing boundaries and reclaiming personal power.
Their Trauma-Led Advocacy Academy—the first of its kind worldwide—offers affordable and free courses covering everything from healing resources to educational content for special needs children. "When you're going through healing, you shouldn't have to decide between paying your rent or mortgage or healing," Victoria explains, highlighting why keeping costs minimal remains their priority despite financial challenges.
Have you experienced domestic violence or narcissistic abuse? Share your story anonymously for the upcoming book by emailing phoenix@acontagioussmile.com, or explore healing resources at acontagioussmile.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
my husband.
He's supposed to be bringing usin, which he did not, so I will
.
Good evening.
Welcome to another episode of acontagious small, unstoppable
hi babe howdy y'all?
Really he's like a little kidwith christmas, like he has a
toy, and so he's like somethingjust fun and to play with.
So what, what?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
nothing, have at it horse there it is again.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
so my husband thinks it's comical because we have had
the same computer forever andI've been operating on a
dinosaur, basically, and we gota new one and we're trying to
transition from one to the otherand this one has had me a
little flustered, to say theleast.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I had to come save her bacon.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I don't know if we go that far.
Who just asked me to fix themicrophones?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh, the microphone is your department.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Oh, I see how this goes.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
What?
Yeah, you talk a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh, who jawjacks more ?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I do.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
But that's Southern hospitality for you.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
No, before we do anything, I want to take a
moment and just ask ourlisteners to do me a favor, if
they will.
I cannot disclose names ofanyone that I am working with
names of anyone that I amworking with.
However, I have been so blessedto be in contact with an
(01:31):
amazing mother and daughter, andshe has a very big surgery
coming up this week, and ifeverybody could just wrap them
in hugs, thoughts and prayersnot only for her but for her mom
hugs, thoughts and prayers notonly for her but for her mom
while her daughter is in thesurgery, I would really
appreciate it, that very sweetgirl.
That would mean a lot and she'sgoing to come out of this like
(01:54):
the warrior that she is, but Ijust want to put that out there
and ask for a moment ofacknowledgement and prayer for
these two amazing women.
So, yes, so my husband has uhbeen kind of having a lazy day
(02:15):
today and uh I've been runningaround and then doing the
computer we know what the issueis.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I I've got some low test scores, some low test
scores.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
All right, we're going to have to disclose again
for people who might be checkingus out for the first time.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I wouldn't be checking you out, woman.
You're my woman.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Oh, you're just bitter about the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh no, I'm honored that someone flirts with you.
That hits on you.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But he actually told me, he actually said he liked
the view from behind right now.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Now offer for him to go in front right and the fact
that he followed you downseveral aisles and said hello
three times.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Right now we're borderline stalking okay and I
didn't like having someonebehind me like that.
I want that person when I knowthat there's something fishy or
whatever.
I want them.
Them in front, not behind me.
And so, yeah, and then in frontof our daughter too, who said
nothing it was so surprisingbecause she's always so quick
Right, and he was like, oh, I'mgood with the view back here.
(03:16):
I was like, sure, three items.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
That brings up a point Keep your head on a swivel
.
Y'all, y'all, y'all.
Keep your nose out of yourphone please, y'all gone.
You put your head down.
You don't see where you'regoing.
My daughter and I went to getsome uh cookie cake and some ice
cream there and was like look,make me a fresh, fresh, damn it
sorry hang on and we got out ofthe truck, her nose was in the
(03:42):
phone.
I grabbed a hold of her shoulderand stopped her before she
walked right out in front ofanother black car and uh, yeah,
good lesson there.
I know, dad, I know that's.
That's, that's the answer I got.
I know, dad, I know so.
And yes, I did ask them to makea fresh cookie cake pie,
(04:03):
whatever you call it, the giantone, just for my daughter, and
we waited 30 minutes.
Yes, sir re bob, that's mylittle princess.
This is my queen sitting overhere looking at me your queen.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Could you please disclose why, for some reason
it's like very active right now,why my speech is?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
so y'all, my wife is is a genius, okay let's not go
that far okay, her iq ranks wayup there.
Okay, hey, faith, probablyaround 180, I don't know like.
Anyway, whatever, she has threedoctorates, okay, so she is not
stupid.
Okay, did she make a stupidbonehead move by marrying me?
That's still debatable.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
He just said a minute ago, Faith just walked in, Come
on and said.
He just said that you are hisprincess.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I did.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
There's a spider on the wall.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I didn't even look.
Anyway, I see that tattoo babe,I see that yeah there's a
spider on the wall.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
He called you his princess.
I can do anything I want, andit'll come for me.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I'm her slave.
Y'all, Do dads hear that?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
you called her your princess, any okay?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
so my wife spider, due to the amount of violence
that she underwent with that posmonster that she was first
married to, she has sufferedjust immense hearing loss,
damaged her ears, her ear canal,her head, head trauma, and it
(05:54):
is now affecting her speechbecause she is 100% deaf in one
ear and 85, 88% in her other ear.
She will soon have a massivesurgery to where they core
everything out in her ear andleave her your a is having
course you're already deaf inthat ear, so I just be like but
(06:15):
here's the difference that I'velearned.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's like when you have a cochlear implant, which
I've been asked and told Idesperately need, but don't have
300 grand to get it, and ourintern says uncover it, it a lot
.
They drill a hole in your headand you hear from that spot
right, and so you hear fromthere.
And the difference is peoplewho do get cochlear implants
(06:36):
don't always have this stitchdown surgery, which is they
consider it a radical, um, risky.
But I had my eardrumreconstructed and rebuilt and
they've gone down there and donedozens of surgeries trying to
help and I constantly getinfections and so they want to
(07:02):
take out all of that because myeardrum has like fallen flat and
it has basically ended uplooking like swiss cheese now
and it's got lots and lots ofholes in it and so at some point
in time you can hear vibrations, you can hear some vibrations,
but that will no longer be anoption.
(07:25):
So earlier I was sitting in myhusband's office chair, which is
on the opposite side of theroom, where my left ear was
facing, and it was like, oh, wow, now I can hear.
Like it's so different becausethe way the office is set up
right now my right ear faces him, which I know a lot of wives
are like Victoria.
Why are you complaining?
(07:46):
This is great because you don'thear what he has to say, and
sometimes that is true.
That's the great gift, butexcuse me, huh.
Anyway, so I have noticed thatI am having issues with my
speaking on certain words andsome things, and it's very
(08:06):
frustrating, so please forgiveme for it, because it's
definitely not intentional andso that's the end of that yes,
so we went all the way aroundthat tree to get to the bush, so
to speak.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Really spider, uh-huh , okay.
So the whole point is y'all, ify'all hear slip up a word, uh,
just forgive her, I'll try toget on it and let you know the
correct word, or whatever.
Thanks, you're welcome, Iappreciate it but it's
frustrating for my wife to sithere and she's she's a very
eloquent speaker, unlike myself.
(08:42):
You know I did not go tocollege how do you say that word
?
College School but my wife is,you know, she does a lot of
public speaking, a lot ofwebinars.
She talks to thousands ofpeople every month, I think, and
you know this is frustratingfor her.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Because we're in the vehicle and it's like you know,
faith will say something, and ifthe air conditioner is on, or
Well, hello, rusty, rusty sayshi everybody.
Or the radio is on, then it'svery, very.
Oh, he's letting us knowthere's a bunch of cars outside.
Look at that, he's so smart.
(09:26):
It really makes it quite hardfor me to hear it.
And it has been getting worse.
It's not like I woke up and itwas that way.
It's been getting worse as timegoes on.
Rusty really wants to be heardtoday.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's our alarm system.
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
No, that's one of the many alarm systems we have in
this house home home I correctedit.
Yes, I corrected.
So let's take a moment and alsotalk about.
We have so much going on um foroctober, for domestic violence
awareness month, and I want toshout out to sam, who has now
(10:03):
got me as his I don't even knowhow you want to call it to Sam,
who has now got me as his Idon't even know how you want to
call it.
He's our PR person now.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sam, you're awesome buddy.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
He's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Can we put him out there?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
No, legally.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, he's giving me his information and his.
I'll have his logo.
I can put up there later on,and so I mean, he's just a
stand-up, really sweet person.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Very family-oriented, very.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
He's got a contagious smile in the places we never
thought would be like 30,000feet.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
What 30,000?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
feet On an airplane oh yeah that's true.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Very true.
So I had a meeting with him onFriday and we talked about some
of the things that we're goingto be doing for October, and one
of them is well, two of them,they kind of coincide together
is the book and master class,and because I'm obviously way
(11:05):
off sorts this evening with mywording, you describe the book
for me which book would that be?
this is going to be the dearsilence you lost oh gosh and
everybody loves this book titleokay, so remind me again the
email you're using phoenix at acontagious smilecom, and that's
(11:26):
for anybody who wants to notreach out to me for assistance
for something, but wants to like, submit a story or wants to,
you know, add something to whatwe do or has a proposal of some
sort.
That's where that goes.
If you want me directly, youknow my husband will tell you.
(11:48):
I answer all my emails.
I was emailing two threeo'clock this morning, which is
not abnormal, um, but it'sphoenix she gets about ten
thousand a day so phoenix,phoenix at a contagious smile
dot com.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yes, okay, um, the letters that we have been
getting, I've been privileged toread of just a small handful,
and y'all let me tell you whatthey are tear jerkers you can
put mine out there, because I Ihave no problem discussing that
you.
You think that monsters don'texist, but there really are
(12:26):
monsters out literally under thebed right and living with you
yeah, and some of them you calldad, Some of them you call uncle
.
I just I can't imagine some ofthe things that you know these
people are going through.
And then, when they put it downon paper, it's just, it's so
eye-opening and so dishearteningand you can't help but have
(12:50):
Niagara Falls, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Well, one that really , really got me and it was a was
a recent submission was a childand I don't want to give it all
away who apologized for hatingtheir mother, um, and said I
grew up hating you and despisingyou because I didn't understand
why you stayed, why did youkeep us in a harmful environment
, why did you keep us in harm'sway?
And as the submission went onand on and I'm not going to give
(13:20):
it away all the details thatwere in it, literally it goes
through this timeline of thischild just despising their mom
because they couldn't understandwhy, I mean, you would laugh as
a sign of defense, you would.
I knew it in the.
(13:40):
In the writer said I knew atthat time something was about to
happen and it was almost likeher telling everybody to get out
or go away.
You know, and he, the writer,didn't understand why, and then
comes to learn later on thatthey realize that if the mom did
(14:02):
leave, as our court system sooften do and I went through this
with the termination of rightswas you have a judge or judges
that'll say he may have beat you, but he hasn't hit this kid and
you know what?
It's only a matter of time.
It is only a matter of timebefore they hit this kid, and
you can testify that as anofficer, and I can testify to
(14:26):
that on a plethora of thingsthat I've done in working with
families.
And it's literally just this.
This poor kid was writing sayingI didn't understand.
I didn't understand, but when Igot older I started to realize,
because I realized that if youhad left, then there would have
(14:46):
been a time when I would havehad to go without you and you
wouldn't have been able to bethere to protect me.
And now you are my hero and I'msorry, and it was so eye
opening from a child'sperspective, because so many
people are so quick to say whydid you stay?
Why didn't you leave?
You know?
And then they turn around andmake us feel even worse.
(15:09):
But you know what.
You don't know what it's like.
So how can you be so judgmental?
You know, like my grandmotherGod rest her soul had all sorts
of different cancers, right, Ican't even fathom for a
millisecond what it was like forher to go through treatment for
cancer, cancer, and I've hadwell over a hundred surgeries
(15:38):
and I'm not even going to tryand figure out what it would
feel like to be a person whoendured all of that treatment
radiation and chemotherapy andall of that so, and that's just
really a bad analogy.
But in reality, you know, howdo you tell somebody what it's
like to go through chemo andradiation if you've never done
it?
Same thing, if you've neverbeen in that situation where
(16:01):
you're in fight or flight, howcan you be so quick to ridicule
somebody when you haven't beenthere yourself?
And good for you for not havingto be there?
But it's one in four and nobodydecides and says, hey, I'm gonna
raise my hand and say I want tobe a battered wife.
(16:25):
Nobody, nobody raises theirhand and says I'm gonna be the
battered wife or I'm going to bethe battered spouse ever.
So nobody elects for this,nobody chooses this, and I know
that my husband can.
You know contest to this thatwhen you're in that relationship
they're so charismatic, they'reso charming, they're so
(16:47):
believable and at the end of theday it's not just men, it's
women too.
You know my husband's been veryopen about the fact he went
with it through this as well inhis previous marriages that it
was just like Dr Jekyll and MrHyde, you know, very charismatic
, very different.
(17:08):
And then, when they have theirclaws in you, everything changes
.
But nobody signs up and sayshey, I want to do this, I want
to be that better wife.
And so many people are so quickto jump to ridicule instead of
saying let me be your safe space, you know, let me offer you a
place to go to, let me offer youmy person.
(17:29):
Like, just be here.
And if you don't know what tosay, then just be here.
And if you don't know what tosay, then just be quiet and just
sit in a room and let them knowthey're not alone so please,
y'all this, what, what my wifehas been putting together here
for the past few days, few weeks, uh, last week, week and a half
.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Um, this is going to be a book seen by millions y'all
.
So your story, your briefsubmission will be heard.
Okay, it will be seen.
Yes, it's going to remainanonymous.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
That's the choice, if you choose, or they can just
put their first name or they cangive themselves an alias.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
By all means get that out of your system.
Let it out.
Let the world see, knowwhomever see.
Uh, it's an amazing thing, itreally is it.
Yes, it's very, verytherapeutic to me.
It it just it's heartbreakingto read.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
you know that we go through this I literally wrote
to idiot for the very first timeever and I bet you I bet you I
rewrote it 50 times.
If I did it once and I keptrewriting it, it was like this
isn't what I'm trying to comeacross with.
This is, you know, this isn'tit, this isn't it.
(18:47):
And then I finished it, and mywhole reason for doing it is if
you haven't read who kickedfirst, which is the very graphic
memoir of what I endured.
Um, this is literally like it'snever a competition.
(19:08):
I can't tell you how many timesI've spoken to people that says
I've learned about you, you'vebeen, you know everything you've
been through.
He only hit me a few times.
You know it's not a big deal.
One kick, one hit, one punch,one, anything is one too many.
You should not be with someonewho puts their hands on you in
an unwarranted manner, period.
That's the end of that and it'snot a competition.
(19:31):
And so I wanted my submission tobe kind of an eye-opening
epiphany for people that can goand look at it and say, well,
shit, pregnant and broken andjust it's.
(19:53):
It's listed in there, just someof the stuff that I went
through.
I can do it, I can get outright, and it's not meant to be
looked upon as a competition.
It's meant to be looked upon,that if I was that broken and
pregnant and alone and hadnothing, and he even shot and
killed my dog to show me what hewould do if I left, then you
(20:17):
can get out.
You can get out.
I mean, when I read to you mysubmission for the book, what
were your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
There were things I didn't know and it's just, it's
eye-opening to see the love thatmy wife has have has now listen
to me has had, has it.
Whatever that my wife carriescurrently bestows in her heart
for our daughter, and that lovewas her strength to push her
(20:51):
through out of that darkness.
I think your boy stucko wantsout from under your chair hey,
baby, come on, baby boy goldenretriever stucco is uh also our
wife, my wife's service dog, mybaby and, uh, he's the star of
stucco squad.
It's my boy, which is uh alsoon the academy y'all.
(21:13):
Yes, you have to get on thewebsite.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Go check that out so you were saying you read this.
Yes, there are things youdidn't know.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yes, yeah, so that's it.
They're gonna read it once youcompile all this.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Seeds from the book are going into the academy and
it should be available soon hereI'm trying to release this the
beginning of october fordomestic violence awareness
month, um, and it will coincidewith a master class that I've
been working on through theacademy as well.
So, uh, other options also inthere.
(21:50):
There are a lot of classes inthe academy that are free or
very low cost, and they've allbeen evaluated for more than a
hundred dollars a piece, but Idon't believe that healing
should come at the.
You know how do you pay forfood for your family, or you
know healing Because, just likewith my cochlear implants, our
(22:12):
insurance won't cover it andit's $300,000 for one.
And when you're going throughhealing and you're trying to be
the best healed version ofyourself, you shouldn't have to
decide do I want to pay my rentor my mortgage or do I want
(22:32):
healing Right?
And so that's why we rely ondonors and contributors in there
, because I mean you know I wasdoing some research An average
like half dozen Krispy Kremedonuts are $10 now, half dozen
at the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
A fast food meal you can't get for five dollars.
No right anywhere between nineand twelve bucks.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Right.
Faith loves her starbucks.
We know she loves her starbucks.
One starbucks is like six,seven dollars now not even five
dollars.
We have done this, hoping thatwe start to get in, you know, an
ample amount of eitherdonations or contributing to the
Academy, because we are nottaking paychecks.
(23:22):
My husband and I do not take apaycheck from this and we have
suffered greatly from itfinancially because we don't
ever want someone to be turnedaway again.
We want someone to know thatthey have this and we have
actually been awarded severalawards because there is no other
academy out there like this inthe world.
(23:43):
There is no trauma led advocacyacademy anywhere.
Should we go on Shark Tape?
For what?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
If anyone wants to buy the company.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I would never sell this company.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Good for you Ever.
That's my girl, so can Ipiggyback on something you said
earlier?
Sure, you mentioned that youdidn't want to have to make the
decision whether or not to buymedicine for your child or food
for your family For yourmortgage or rent.
Right, so you kept these classesextremely low.
(24:21):
Yes, $4.95, 99 cents yeah,somewhere in that area.
Rent right, so you kept theseclasses extremely low.
Yes, four dollars and 95 cents99 cent, yeah, somewhere in that
area.
We sat down as a family lastnight.
It was it was daddy daughtermovie night, but my wife joined
us and she put us on to aphenomenal movie tyler perry,
it's all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
He's.
I've already seen it.
I've already seen the movies.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I saw it straw the movie called is called straw and
yes, oh, and it was produced bytyler perry that's one of my
desired.
Long to meet people right andwho has who kicked first on his
desk right, we have, uh, we have, um, a nice friend named mary
(25:05):
who has placed my wife's firstbook, her memoir, on tyler
perry's desk in hopes that youknow, he may read it and um, get
a hold of it somehow.
So but the, the, the movie wasjust as my wife was saying.
The female in the movie had tochoose what to buy.
(25:27):
Right, she gave up airconditioning so that she could
buy her daughter's medicine.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Her daughter was special needs and you know her
medicine was very expensive.
Insurance didn't cover it alland you know, beyond paycheck to
paycheck, this woman was living.
And this is the second timeI've seen the movie and I was
just more heart-wrenching thanthe first, if that was even
possible, because I mean he didsuch a great job directing this
(25:56):
movie he really did.
It was amazing.
And to to watch it it's soimpactful as a parent to someone
who has special needs and hasbeen that way her whole life.
Right, and you know I don'twant to give away the movie.
Everybody needs to watch thismovie.
It's phenomenal, but it's justit shouldn't.
This country should not bewhere you have to decide do you
(26:21):
want to pay for this or do youwant to pay for that?
Like it shouldn't be that way.
You know it shouldn't.
And then you have people who aremulti-multi-millionaires, who
have money and they pay it onlavish cars and homes and boats
and whatever.
And good for you, that's greatfor you.
But why can't we make it where,if children need medication,
(26:42):
they can get it regardless ofthe parent's income?
Because if a kid needs medicine, they need medicine, right, and
to me, laughter is also such agreat medication and that's why
we've done these courses likethe Stucco Squad.
You know, kids have differentdisabilities and I hate the word
disabilities because there'snothing they can't do.
(27:04):
They just have to learn aboutit a different way.
Michael J Fox said it best whenhe said everybody can learn.
It's just how you learn, right.
So, like Stucco just created acourse called Stucco, take it
Away, and it teaches kids thathave what is called learning
disabilities and even though Ihate that term, I absolutely
(27:24):
hate that term how, in a specialneeds classroom, if you will.
How to take away in subtraction.
So take it away Stucco.
You know like it opens up andStucco is on the hunt for why is
some of his cookies missing?
Stucco's missing cookies, andhe's in a classroom and it's
done with cartoons and where arehis cookies?
(27:46):
Right, and it's so cute.
And, like the classes, I lovewriting them, like I kept saying
to my husband I want to add acouple of classes a week.
I do it daily because it's somuch fun to do it.
And you know, here's Stucco,and then he's in the Stucco
squad.
And you know, here's Stucco,and then he's in the Stucco
squad and the kids are learningand they're doing all sorts of
fun stuff.
And it's just, you know, and toput a smile on people's face.
(28:09):
And then there's stuff out therefor us adults, like I have a
course called my Butt isBluetooth.
And it's because I joke aroundwith my surgeons and say I need
a USB port because I have toplug in my body to be functional
.
And you know, now I have to goand charge.
Tonight when we're done here, Ihave to go charge my back and
it sucks, like it sucks.
(28:31):
And then I have to plug in myheadphones or my hearing aids,
if I can wear them, and I haveto charge my prosthetic arm.
And you know, if I get thecochlear implants, by the grace
of god, those have to be charged.
And it's like all of thesethings.
I am like this robot that in 25, 30 years just needs a wd-40
(28:52):
washing like forget the shower,I just need, like you know, the
the oil can from the wizard ofoz, creek, creek, creek, creek,
creek.
But you know, and then I seepeople who are in such a crappy
mood for the dumbest reasons andit's like what do you really
have to be so pissy about?
Like, why are you so pissy?
I mean, you know you're in yourmillion dollar home, you have
(29:15):
your eight cars, you havewhatever and and you're just a
miserable bastard.
Why, why, why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You're hitting home.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I don't have, that's not home.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
That's not home.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Okay, near home.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
We're talking about narcissism now.
Now you've gone into anarcissistic thing which is your
prequel to your first book.
Yes, it is the prequel.
So y'all get on Amazon and lookup who kicked first, and also
narc narc who's there as inknock knock, but it's narc narc
(29:52):
and it you know, and that's byvictoria cure.
And the reason it's narc narcis because it's about narcissism
and you never know what you'regoing to get behind that closed
door.
And growing up very easily anddiagnosed biological I come,
sperm donor and egg donor.
There's a narcissist, and avery serious narcissist, as if
there's any levels of it.
But like one of the things hedid the most is he would go no
(30:18):
contact with me or I would go nocontact with him and his answer
would be well, you did it,you're the grown-ass man, right.
And so he has tried to contactand kind of like do this, like
whoosh in again for a minute andthen he'll whoosh out again.
And he.
(30:39):
I got a phone call and I was onthe phone with a patient and I
didn't take the call because I'mnot going to do that.
And then I wrote back you rangbecause I don't reach out first.
I'm not going to reach outfirst, but the old me would have
groveled and begged and pleadedfor him to be in my life.
(30:59):
And no matter how many thingsthat he did wrong, I always took
the fault for it.
I always, as he calls it, fellon the sword.
There's that stupid Englishproblem Fell on the sword,
didn't matter what I always did.
And so I would beg him toforgive me for his actions, even
though I could have been in adifferent physical, geographic
(31:21):
state.
I could have been domicile twohours away, doesn't matter if
something was screwed up.
It was my fault always, becausehe always blamed me.
He's going to read out yourmicrophone wire.
He always blamed me.
And so now, for the very firsttime ever in my life, I'm not
(31:42):
reaching out and begging him all.
For the very first time ever inmy life, I'm not reaching out
and begging him.
And he told me he wanted tohave a conversation with me and
I told him I have no desire andI've never once in my entire
life ever said that to that man,ever.
I don't have a man's word, butever said that.
And that's like a head spin forhim, because I've always been
the black sheep, the escape goat, and now I'm like no.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
So, speaking of narcissism and having a
narcissistic father, how do youget out from under that?
How do you?
How do you Well, you couldanswer that too.
How do you take?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
back that control.
It took me decades, I mean, butyou could answer it from a
man's point of view.
I mean, how did you do it?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
From whom your parent .
Well, I didn't know what anarcissist was at the time.
I just said oh, that's just, ma, that's just the way.
She is Right, you know, but herthing was she'd make you feel
guilty.
Like you know, she's the victim.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Never did Right, was she'd.
She'd make you feel guilty,like you know she's like victim.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
never did right, never instead of having that
domineering control right.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Never take accountability ever for anything
right.
And then it was, and we bothheard it, like when faith was in
the hospital, you know.
She was in complete organfailure and we almost lost her
that's our daughter right, weheard.
Well, I texted once and thatwas from my sperm donor.
You, you texted once.
(33:08):
Are you serious?
Like everybody knew, we hadlisteners reaching out.
We had oh yeah people we didn'teven know, sending food to the
hospital for us, right and andwell, I reached out once.
What, what is this?
Um, literally once.
But then your mom knew what wasgoing on, with faith and not a
(33:34):
word.
Oh, and not a word, not aphrase, not nothing.
And her answer was I didn'tknow if you'd take the call.
I mean, come on now seriously.
And I mean I've said a thousandtimes to you if you want a
relationship with her, that'syour choice.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And she tried to turn everything around on us so,
going back to the question howdo you get out from under their
thumb?
Excuse me, y'all the I mean forme.
I had to physically move.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I had to, but that didn't mean was it to stop at
first?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
it didn't cause it stopped, but it caused an eye
opening because it causes me tostart realizing hey, there's
something not right here right,and then, in turn, it was blamed
on me for causing it right.
But it was not me, it was heractions right right and and also
it took someone who knew anarcissist to point it out.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Hey, this is the way your mom is, just like my dad,
so well, you actually came to meabout it and asked me a couple
different times about things andyou know you said this isn't
right, what she's doing isn'tright.
And I was like, oh, I know,because I've had this myself,
(34:57):
you know, and the thing is theyrefuse to take accountability
for their actions.
It It'll never happen.
And like when you know theywon't reach out because then
that shows almost a weakness.
So then, like they had your,she had your brother call, and
that was shocking.
And then when we spoke to her,it was well, I could have you
(35:21):
know.
And I said very quickly I don'tcare, it's not about me, it's
the fact that you hurt myhusband and you hurt my child.
You know, you made promisesthat you would never do this and
you did.
And the fact that she knew whatwas going on and still said
nothing.
And while in the conversationit was all about her, right,
this is a big flag about anarcissist.
(35:42):
It was all about her, just likeit's always about her, right.
That's, this is a big flagabout a narcissist.
It was all about her, just likeit's always about him.
And it was me, me, me, me, likeher, right, it was all like.
This is what I've been goingthrough, and never once did she
ask Michael, how are you, how isfaith in all this?
She never said how's faith, andI don't care that.
She didn't ask about me likethat.
You know, the one thing thatreally hurt me was the fact that
(36:04):
when I went through myamputation it's fine she made a
choice not to reach out to me,but that's her choice.
She didn't call her son to say,how are you holding up?
How are you doing?
Or her granddaughter, how areyou know?
Can I talk to faith?
How's faith doing with all ofthis?
There was no outreach for anyof that at all, and that's
(36:28):
really tough.
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
So I'm wondering if you guys out there, guys, if you
have a, yeah, you guys if y'allhave a narcissistic mother or
wife that you have to deal withor have dealt with or are
currently dealing with, I wantyou to write me an email, Okay,
and briefly describe what you'reliving in, what you've gone
(36:55):
through and how you got out ofit.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
A lot of people are afraid to do emails.
Just so you know.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
How much would they reach out to me?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, no, I'm just saying, you just need to let
them know.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah, you can sign your name Bob.
You can be Bob Dylan for all Icare.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
No, read it online or whatever.
If you don't want us to Rightit works.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
And we don't mention geographic location, correct.
So my email is SolomonS-O-L-O-M-O-N.
The number four atacontagioussmilecom.
Solomon, the number four atacontagioussmilecom, I'd like to
hear from you guys.
There's not enough of us thatput our business out there,
(37:41):
because we're taught to keep itall bottled up and keep it
inside.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
So let the world hear from y'all but how is it, as a
man, to be raised with anarcissistic parent?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
like you, sometimes you just don't know, right.
Okay, let's say, let's just usethe word ignorant.
I was ignorant.
Okay, I did not know what anarcissist was.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Well then explain as there are other kids, you have
siblings why there's no contactwith you as a man, because I
know why it is for me as a woman.
Why is their relationship withthe other siblings?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I couldn't answer that.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
And not you.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Couldn't answer that.
You know it could be benefits,could be the closeness,
geographically geographic,living in the same location, you
know and hey, when I need ahand I can reach out.
And there it is what I need ahand.
Well, I need a hand from you.
I bet y'all.
(38:39):
My wife has only one arm Ithink our listeners are
suppliers and we make light ofit.
Now it's, you know, in allseriousness, you know we have a
um, a special friend my wife'sdealing with, now that um is
about to lose hers?
I think so, and we do jokeabout it.
My wife and I can joke about itbecause you know, we live it.
(39:02):
She lives it every day.
I wake up and and I used to siton the end of the bed and bitch
and complain about my back oh,my back, I'm getting old and
then stand up and hear my kneespop.
Well, all I have to do is lookover at my wife and there's her
nub laying on the pillow andlike what the hell do I have to
complain about y'all?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
or if I'm facing him, I can't hear.
So I'm saying the other day Iwas like I'm damned if I do and
damned if I don't.
Right, but my husband will tellyou, I never sit and complain.
I don't say, oh, my god, woe isme, I can't work today, I can't
do this.
My husband will say can youplease take a day off?
Could you please?
What am I gonna do to get younot to work today?
What is that?
And the thing is is like I can'tlay on my nub because I have
(39:46):
CRPS, which is a whole differentshow, and then that's complex
regional pain, and then I havethis new STEM router, but then,
if you don't know, I have 26pieces of metal in my face from
complete upper and lower jawreplacement.
And then if I'm laying, I canlay on my nub for like five or
ten minutes and then I can't.
(40:07):
It's excruciating, so I can't.
But then if I'm laying on mynub, then my left ear is covered
, I hear nothing, and it's sofrustrating, and so then I have
to turn over and then I can hear.
But then I'm facing the otherway.
So it's like don't we keepchanging sides in the room?
And then I'm this, but then I'mfacing the other way, so it's
like we keep changing sides inthe room and then I'm this
person that will changeeverything in the room, like the
(40:28):
dressers and the nightstands,and everything has to move.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Oh, that's a fun time .
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Oh, you've never done it.
Every time I've done it, you'vecome home.
I will get faith out here.
Every time you have gone towork and come home and I have
changed that whole room aroundby myself.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I thought we were keeping this PG.
What Really?
I didn't mean move the bed likethat woman, lord have mercy.
You mean you scooted the bedwhen you plugged in the light we
had it positioned the other way.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
No, that bed's always been that way.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
And then we turned it ?
No, we did not.
And then we moved all thedressers safe I did not.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
You, we can call faith in here.
I did it and you came home andyou were like woman, woman, why
are you doing that one arm, whatare you doing?
And then you're like, oh,kitten, what were you doing?
She's like in my room, withthat door shut because I ain't
going in there.
Seriously, I'm not going to betold, I can't do it, like.
That's like the thing.
(41:26):
Don't tell me, oh, you can't,you can't do this.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
You can't be silent for five minutes.
You know that's okay.
See, everybody's laughing theirass off right now.
That took like 0.7 seconds.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Podcast so I can be quiet when we're not recording.
I mean seriously, how about youstay awake the whole day?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
oh lord, I don't know , I won't even go that route why
you win, I win.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Say it again, yeah you win.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
you're right.
Oh, say it again.
I probably took what?
Two naps today, three, three,yeah, well, falling asleep in
the recliner, in the recliner,in the recliner, in the recliner
, in the recliner.
I bit my tongue there.
I'm imitating my wife.
What, what?
Say it again.
I didn't hear you.
I don't have my hearing aids on, you hurt.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
You're hilarious.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Mm-hmm, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yes, all right, take us out.
No, I brought us in.
What us in?
Uh, what?
Oh yeah, you were too busyfidgeting over there.
Well, you got me a new powerbank here and it doesn't work
because the usbc doesn't work onthe iphone, and that's my fault
.
Why, uh?
Did you read it correctly?
Uh?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
how could I have read it when you unwrapped it?
Touche, anywho, try that again,you're right.
Try it again, say you're right.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
No, I already said it once.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Let's try again.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
No, stee Hi baby Rusty is our other Golden
Retriever, that is, that isFaith, faith's Baby Service dog.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Hey Rusty Bear, he's like the gentle giant, he's a
big boy.
We were breeding GoldenRetrievers For, I think, three
years yeah, we had like 38 talkabout puppy love, 30 lay down 35
, 38 and just like like allthese we had 1838 dogs, uh, and
(43:18):
no, it wasn't a breeding farm,it.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Uh.
Our dogs were loved and theywent out with loved and they
were cared for.
Oh, they were spoiled.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
We, we sold them and adopted them they went to
special needs families for themost part gave some gave a lot
of them way over the years, thefamilies that couldn't afford
them right, but you know we haveso many customers still
reaching out to us.
You know, just a few weeks ago,yeah, because a lot of them came
from my baby a A lot of themcame from the puppies and
(43:48):
showing us how happy they are.
Oh yeah, they'll get them so,and my baby boy was this little
sperminator.
He was the stucco, stucco, alot of this y'all, we pay
forward.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yes, and it's going back to the price of the classes
.
How inexpensive they are.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
And we don't want to shut it down, but we have to pay
for all the platforms to run itand we're not taking a paycheck
, but it's literally, you know,it's close to a couple grand a
month and we have to make thatjust to even break even.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
And that doesn't happen unless we get
contributions, and that's theproblem, and we have to have
them get on the website and buya cup of coffee, or join the
academy and take a class or two.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You know them are free or very low cost and then
you can sponsor.
You could do a one-timesponsorship, a monthly, monthly
sponsorship.
You go over there and it on theleft side it says provide a
sponsorship or provide ascholarship Sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Right, we have.
We have millions of followersout here and thank y'all very
much, and it all it would takeis just one, one class from each
of you.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, absolutely, and they're not boring.
They're not boring textbook,boring courses.
There are stuff you could dowith your kid.
There's stuff that you can dothat are bonding with your
children.
There's stuff the kids can do,like going back to school.
There's an IEP armor class tohelp you prepare if you're going
to do IEPs, with informationthat most people don't know
(45:23):
there are.
It's a plethora of everything.
We have things for vets and allof the vets in the veteran um,
the vet, the valor circle sorry,is free, that's all free, um,
so no cost will ever be there.
And then you have the limitlessrecovery tribe and you have the
(45:43):
safe Haven Phoenix Center andyou have Stucco Squad and Camp
Stucco and I mean so much fun.
I mean, and if I have funcreating them, I know your
little ones are going to havethe best time ever taking them.
You know.
I mean so, so much fun so muchfun.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
so, going back way back in the beginning of this
conversation, jump on um phoenixat a contagious smilecom for
your, your story, uh, whatyou've gone through, what you're
going through, and let let usget it out there in a
compilation book it's sotherapeutic to put it on paper,
it really is.
Y'all it's going to be.
Just bring the bucket oftissues when, if you buy this
(46:35):
book or if we choose to read iton air one night Like we read a
story, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, it'd have a lot of trigger warnings definitely
um.
You can join our academythrough our website there's a
direct link on the topcontagious smilecom.
Or you can go to a contagioussmilem, as in mary and as in
nancyco.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
so a contagious smilemnco and please, y'all,
keep supporting us and becausewe're supporting you buy us a
cup of coffee.
You know, support uh someonewho needs uh scholarship I will
tell you that we have donated oh, speaking of donation, I want
(47:20):
to shout out to g Gary, whorecently sent us a contribution.
Thank you, gary.
Thank you, gary.
He's an awesome awesome guy.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I will tell you that I have approved 51 courses alone
just yesterday.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
That we gave away 51 courses.
Wow, that's awesome.
And so you know most peoplewould have been like wow.
So if you do the math at $5,you know you're talking about
$255.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
But it's not about.
It's about paying it forward.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Right, and I'm saying that that's, all it would take
is $255 in donations from people, which is like a $5 donation.
Right, that's not even a powerbill anymore.
But like we right, um, that'snot even a power bill anymore,
but like we gave away that manypeople who are in need, right,
that are just now coming tosurface and saying I need help,
can you help me?
And they were not, um, it was,it was 50 stuck with sleeping.
(48:16):
It was 51 individual um, andyou know what I might be
fabricating that in regards tothat.
It was 51 people and so theycould have actually I actually
give them free reign at that sothey could have done 10 courses
a piece.
We don't know, I haven't goneback and looked at that yet.
I've written down and it givesme the data on it.
(48:39):
But 51 individual people gotthe go-ahead and clear, so they
could have done 10 courses each.
So I mean, that's 250 a person,right?
You know the numbers are.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
And welcome everyone who's recently joined the
academy.
Absolutely, we try to reach outand welcome each and every one
of y'all.
Sometimes y'all slip throughthe cracks.
When you know I have 20, youknow within an hour when I have
20 within an hour.
So I think that's our episodetonight of A Contagious Smile is
Unstoppable with the lovelyVictoria.
(49:13):
She's still sexy as ever andStuckOnRusty here, says
goodnight y'all and thank y'allfor listening.
And Michael is out also as soonas my wife clicks the mouse
good night guys.
my husband.
He's supposed to be bringing usin, which he did not, so I will
.
Good evening.
Welcome to another episode of acontagious small, unstoppable
hi babe howdy y'all?
Really he's like a little kidwith christmas, like he has a
toy, and so he's like somethingjust fun and to play with.
So what, what?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
nothing, have at it horse there it is again.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
so my husband thinks it's comical because we have had
the same computer forever andI've been operating on a
dinosaur, basically, and we gota new one and we're trying to
transition from one to the otherand this one has had me a
little flustered, to say theleast.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I had to come save her bacon.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I don't know if we go that far.
Who just asked me to fix themicrophones?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh, the microphone is your department.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Oh, I see how this goes.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
What?
Yeah, you talk a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh, who jawjacks more ?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I do.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
But that's Southern hospitality for you.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
No, before we do anything, I want to take a
moment and just ask ourlisteners to do me a favor, if
they will.
I cannot disclose names ofanyone that I am working with
names of anyone that I amworking with.
However, I have been so blessedto be in contact with an
(01:31):
amazing mother and daughter, andshe has a very big surgery
coming up this week, and ifeverybody could just wrap them
in hugs, thoughts and prayersnot only for her but for her mom
hugs, thoughts and prayers notonly for her but for her mom
while her daughter is in thesurgery, I would really
appreciate it, that very sweetgirl.
That would mean a lot and she'sgoing to come out of this like
(01:54):
the warrior that she is, but Ijust want to put that out there
and ask for a moment ofacknowledgement and prayer for
these two amazing women.
So, yes, so my husband has uhbeen kind of having a lazy day
(02:15):
today and uh I've been runningaround and then doing the
computer we know what the issueis.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I I've got some low test scores, some low test
scores.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
All right, we're going to have to disclose again
for people who might be checkingus out for the first time.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I wouldn't be checking you out, woman.
You're my woman.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Oh, you're just bitter about the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh no, I'm honored that someone flirts with you.
That hits on you.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But he actually told me, he actually said he liked
the view from behind right now.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Now offer for him to go in front right and the fact
that he followed you downseveral aisles and said hello
three times.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Right now we're borderline stalking okay and I
didn't like having someonebehind me like that.
I want that person when I knowthat there's something fishy or
whatever.
I want them.
Them in front, not behind me.
And so, yeah, and then in frontof our daughter too, who said
nothing it was so surprisingbecause she's always so quick
Right, and he was like, oh, I'mgood with the view back here.
(03:16):
I was like, sure, three items.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
That brings up a point Keep your head on a swivel
.
Y'all, y'all, y'all.
Keep your nose out of yourphone please, y'all gone.
You put your head down.
You don't see where you'regoing.
My daughter and I went to getsome uh cookie cake and some ice
cream there and was like look,make me a fresh, fresh, damn it
sorry hang on and we got out ofthe truck, her nose was in the
(03:42):
phone.
I grabbed a hold of her shoulderand stopped her before she
walked right out in front ofanother black car and uh, yeah,
good lesson there.
I know, dad, I know that's.
That's, that's the answer I got.
I know, dad, I know so.
And yes, I did ask them to makea fresh cookie cake pie,
(04:03):
whatever you call it, the giantone, just for my daughter, and
we waited 30 minutes.
Yes, sir re bob, that's mylittle princess.
This is my queen sitting overhere looking at me your queen.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Could you please disclose why, for some reason
it's like very active right now,why my speech is?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
so y'all, my wife is is a genius, okay let's not go
that far okay, her iq ranks wayup there.
Okay, hey, faith, probablyaround 180, I don't know like.
Anyway, whatever, she has threedoctorates, okay, so she is not
stupid.
Okay, did she make a stupidbonehead move by marrying me?
That's still debatable.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
He just said a minute ago, Faith just walked in, Come
on and said.
He just said that you are hisprincess.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I did.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
There's a spider on the wall.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I didn't even look.
Anyway, I see that tattoo babe,I see that yeah there's a
spider on the wall.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
He called you his princess.
I can do anything I want, andit'll come for me.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I'm her slave.
Y'all, Do dads hear that?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
you called her your princess, any okay?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
so my wife spider, due to the amount of violence
that she underwent with that posmonster that she was first
married to, she has sufferedjust immense hearing loss,
damaged her ears, her ear canal,her head, head trauma, and it
(05:54):
is now affecting her speechbecause she is 100% deaf in one
ear and 85, 88% in her other ear.
She will soon have a massivesurgery to where they core
everything out in her ear andleave her your a is having
course you're already deaf inthat ear, so I just be like but
(06:15):
here's the difference that I'velearned.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's like when you have a cochlear implant, which
I've been asked and told Idesperately need, but don't have
300 grand to get it, and ourintern says uncover it, it a lot
.
They drill a hole in your headand you hear from that spot
right, and so you hear fromthere.
And the difference is peoplewho do get cochlear implants
(06:36):
don't always have this stitchdown surgery, which is they
consider it a radical, um, risky.
But I had my eardrumreconstructed and rebuilt and
they've gone down there and donedozens of surgeries trying to
help and I constantly getinfections and so they want to
(07:02):
take out all of that because myeardrum has like fallen flat and
it has basically ended uplooking like swiss cheese now
and it's got lots and lots ofholes in it and so at some point
in time you can hear vibrations, you can hear some vibrations,
but that will no longer be anoption.
(07:25):
So earlier I was sitting in myhusband's office chair, which is
on the opposite side of theroom, where my left ear was
facing, and it was like, oh, wow, now I can hear.
Like it's so different becausethe way the office is set up
right now my right ear faces him, which I know a lot of wives
are like Victoria.
Why are you complaining?
(07:46):
This is great because you don'thear what he has to say, and
sometimes that is true.
That's the great gift, butexcuse me, huh.
Anyway, so I have noticed thatI am having issues with my
speaking on certain words andsome things, and it's very
(08:06):
frustrating, so please forgiveme for it, because it's
definitely not intentional andso that's the end of that yes,
so we went all the way aroundthat tree to get to the bush, so
to speak.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Really spider, uh-huh , okay.
So the whole point is y'all, ify'all hear slip up a word, uh,
just forgive her, I'll try toget on it and let you know the
correct word, or whatever.
Thanks, you're welcome, Iappreciate it but it's
frustrating for my wife to sithere and she's she's a very
eloquent speaker, unlike myself.
(08:42):
You know I did not go tocollege how do you say that word
?
College School but my wife is,you know, she does a lot of
public speaking, a lot ofwebinars.
She talks to thousands ofpeople every month, I think, and
you know this is frustratingfor her.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Because we're in the vehicle and it's like you know,
faith will say something, and ifthe air conditioner is on, or
Well, hello, rusty, rusty sayshi everybody.
Or the radio is on, then it'svery, very.
Oh, he's letting us knowthere's a bunch of cars outside.
Look at that, he's so smart.
(09:26):
It really makes it quite hardfor me to hear it.
And it has been getting worse.
It's not like I woke up and itwas that way.
It's been getting worse as timegoes on.
Rusty really wants to be heardtoday.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's our alarm system.
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
No, that's one of the many alarm systems we have in
this house home home I correctedit.
Yes, I corrected.
So let's take a moment and alsotalk about.
We have so much going on um foroctober, for domestic violence
awareness month, and I want toshout out to sam, who has now
(10:03):
got me as his I don't even knowhow you want to call it to Sam,
who has now got me as his Idon't even know how you want to
call it.
He's our PR person now.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sam, you're awesome buddy.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
He's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Can we put him out there?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
No, legally.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, he's giving me his information and his.
I'll have his logo.
I can put up there later on,and so I mean, he's just a
stand-up, really sweet person.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Very family-oriented, very.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
He's got a contagious smile in the places we never
thought would be like 30,000feet.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
What 30,000?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
feet On an airplane oh yeah that's true.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Very true.
So I had a meeting with him onFriday and we talked about some
of the things that we're goingto be doing for October, and one
of them is well, two of them,they kind of coincide together
is the book and master class,and because I'm obviously way
(11:05):
off sorts this evening with mywording, you describe the book
for me which book would that be?
this is going to be the dearsilence you lost oh gosh and
everybody loves this book titleokay, so remind me again the
email you're using phoenix at acontagious smilecom, and that's
(11:26):
for anybody who wants to notreach out to me for assistance
for something, but wants to like, submit a story or wants to,
you know, add something to whatwe do or has a proposal of some
sort.
That's where that goes.
If you want me directly, youknow my husband will tell you.
(11:48):
I answer all my emails.
I was emailing two threeo'clock this morning, which is
not abnormal, um, but it'sphoenix she gets about ten
thousand a day so phoenix,phoenix at a contagious smile
dot com.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yes, okay, um, the letters that we have been
getting, I've been privileged toread of just a small handful,
and y'all let me tell you whatthey are tear jerkers you can
put mine out there, because I Ihave no problem discussing that
you.
You think that monsters don'texist, but there really are
(12:26):
monsters out literally under thebed right and living with you
yeah, and some of them you calldad, Some of them you call uncle
.
I just I can't imagine some ofthe things that you know these
people are going through.
And then, when they put it downon paper, it's just, it's so
eye-opening and so dishearteningand you can't help but have
(12:50):
Niagara Falls, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Well, one that really , really got me and it was a was
a recent submission was a childand I don't want to give it all
away who apologized for hatingtheir mother, um, and said I
grew up hating you and despisingyou because I didn't understand
why you stayed, why did youkeep us in a harmful environment
, why did you keep us in harm'sway?
And as the submission went onand on and I'm not going to give
(13:20):
it away all the details thatwere in it, literally it goes
through this timeline of thischild just despising their mom
because they couldn't understandwhy, I mean, you would laugh as
a sign of defense, you would.
I knew it in the.
(13:40):
In the writer said I knew atthat time something was about to
happen and it was almost likeher telling everybody to get out
or go away.
You know, and he, the writer,didn't understand why, and then
comes to learn later on thatthey realize that if the mom did
(14:02):
leave, as our court system sooften do and I went through this
with the termination of rightswas you have a judge or judges
that'll say he may have beat you, but he hasn't hit this kid and
you know what?
It's only a matter of time.
It is only a matter of timebefore they hit this kid, and
you can testify that as anofficer, and I can testify to
(14:26):
that on a plethora of thingsthat I've done in working with
families.
And it's literally just this.
This poor kid was writing sayingI didn't understand.
I didn't understand, but when Igot older I started to realize,
because I realized that if youhad left, then there would have
(14:46):
been a time when I would havehad to go without you and you
wouldn't have been able to bethere to protect me.
And now you are my hero and I'msorry, and it was so eye
opening from a child'sperspective, because so many
people are so quick to say whydid you stay?
Why didn't you leave?
You know?
And then they turn around andmake us feel even worse.
(15:09):
But you know what.
You don't know what it's like.
So how can you be so judgmental?
You know, like my grandmotherGod rest her soul had all sorts
of different cancers, right, Ican't even fathom for a
millisecond what it was like forher to go through treatment for
cancer, cancer, and I've hadwell over a hundred surgeries
(15:38):
and I'm not even going to tryand figure out what it would
feel like to be a person whoendured all of that treatment
radiation and chemotherapy andall of that so, and that's just
really a bad analogy.
But in reality, you know, howdo you tell somebody what it's
like to go through chemo andradiation if you've never done
it?
Same thing, if you've neverbeen in that situation where
(16:01):
you're in fight or flight, howcan you be so quick to ridicule
somebody when you haven't beenthere yourself?
And good for you for not havingto be there?
But it's one in four and nobodydecides and says, hey, I'm gonna
raise my hand and say I want tobe a battered wife.
(16:25):
Nobody, nobody raises theirhand and says I'm gonna be the
battered wife or I'm going to bethe battered spouse ever.
So nobody elects for this,nobody chooses this, and I know
that my husband can.
You know contest to this thatwhen you're in that relationship
they're so charismatic, they'reso charming, they're so
(16:47):
believable and at the end of theday it's not just men, it's
women too.
You know my husband's been veryopen about the fact he went
with it through this as well inhis previous marriages that it
was just like Dr Jekyll and MrHyde, you know, very charismatic
, very different.
(17:08):
And then, when they have theirclaws in you, everything changes
.
But nobody signs up and sayshey, I want to do this, I want
to be that better wife.
And so many people are so quickto jump to ridicule instead of
saying let me be your safe space, you know, let me offer you a
place to go to, let me offer youmy person.
(17:29):
Like, just be here.
And if you don't know what tosay, then just be here.
And if you don't know what tosay, then just be quiet and just
sit in a room and let them knowthey're not alone so please,
y'all this, what, what my wifehas been putting together here
for the past few days, few weeks, uh, last week, week and a half
.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Um, this is going to be a book seen by millions y'all
.
So your story, your briefsubmission will be heard.
Okay, it will be seen.
Yes, it's going to remainanonymous.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
That's the choice, if you choose, or they can just
put their first name or they cangive themselves an alias.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
By all means get that out of your system.
Let it out.
Let the world see, knowwhomever see.
Uh, it's an amazing thing, itreally is it.
Yes, it's very, verytherapeutic to me.
It it just it's heartbreakingto read.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
you know that we go through this I literally wrote
to idiot for the very first timeever and I bet you I bet you I
rewrote it 50 times.
If I did it once and I keptrewriting it, it was like this
isn't what I'm trying to comeacross with.
This is, you know, this isn'tit, this isn't it.
(18:47):
And then I finished it, and mywhole reason for doing it is if
you haven't read who kickedfirst, which is the very graphic
memoir of what I endured.
Um, this is literally like it'snever a competition.
(19:08):
I can't tell you how many timesI've spoken to people that says
I've learned about you, you'vebeen, you know everything you've
been through.
He only hit me a few times.
You know it's not a big deal.
One kick, one hit, one punch,one, anything is one too many.
You should not be with someonewho puts their hands on you in
an unwarranted manner, period.
That's the end of that and it'snot a competition.
(19:31):
And so I wanted my submission tobe kind of an eye-opening
epiphany for people that can goand look at it and say, well,
shit, pregnant and broken andjust it's.
(19:53):
It's listed in there, just someof the stuff that I went
through.
I can do it, I can get outright, and it's not meant to be
looked upon as a competition.
It's meant to be looked upon,that if I was that broken and
pregnant and alone and hadnothing, and he even shot and
killed my dog to show me what hewould do if I left, then you
(20:17):
can get out.
You can get out.
I mean, when I read to you mysubmission for the book, what
were your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
There were things I didn't know and it's just, it's
eye-opening to see the love thatmy wife has have has now listen
to me has had, has it.
Whatever that my wife carriescurrently bestows in her heart
for our daughter, and that lovewas her strength to push her
(20:51):
through out of that darkness.
I think your boy stucko wantsout from under your chair hey,
baby, come on, baby boy goldenretriever stucco is uh also our
wife, my wife's service dog, mybaby and, uh, he's the star of
stucco squad.
It's my boy, which is uh alsoon the academy y'all.
(21:13):
Yes, you have to get on thewebsite.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Go check that out so you were saying you read this.
Yes, there are things youdidn't know.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yes, yeah, so that's it.
They're gonna read it once youcompile all this.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Seeds from the book are going into the academy and
it should be available soon hereI'm trying to release this the
beginning of october fordomestic violence awareness
month, um, and it will coincidewith a master class that I've
been working on through theacademy as well.
So, uh, other options also inthere.
(21:50):
There are a lot of classes inthe academy that are free or
very low cost, and they've allbeen evaluated for more than a
hundred dollars a piece, but Idon't believe that healing
should come at the.
You know how do you pay forfood for your family, or you
know healing Because, just likewith my cochlear implants, our
(22:12):
insurance won't cover it andit's $300,000 for one.
And when you're going throughhealing and you're trying to be
the best healed version ofyourself, you shouldn't have to
decide do I want to pay my rentor my mortgage or do I want
(22:32):
healing Right?
And so that's why we rely ondonors and contributors in there
, because I mean you know I wasdoing some research An average
like half dozen Krispy Kremedonuts are $10 now, half dozen
at the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
A fast food meal you can't get for five dollars.
No right anywhere between nineand twelve bucks.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Right.
Faith loves her starbucks.
We know she loves her starbucks.
One starbucks is like six,seven dollars now not even five
dollars.
We have done this, hoping thatwe start to get in, you know, an
ample amount of eitherdonations or contributing to the
Academy, because we are nottaking paychecks.
(23:22):
My husband and I do not take apaycheck from this and we have
suffered greatly from itfinancially because we don't
ever want someone to be turnedaway again.
We want someone to know thatthey have this and we have
actually been awarded severalawards because there is no other
academy out there like this inthe world.
(23:43):
There is no trauma led advocacyacademy anywhere.
Should we go on Shark Tape?
For what?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
If anyone wants to buy the company.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I would never sell this company.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Good for you Ever.
That's my girl, so can Ipiggyback on something you said
earlier?
Sure, you mentioned that youdidn't want to have to make the
decision whether or not to buymedicine for your child or food
for your family For yourmortgage or rent.
Right, so you kept these classesextremely low.
(24:21):
Yes, $4.95, 99 cents yeah,somewhere in that area.
Rent right, so you kept theseclasses extremely low.
Yes, four dollars and 95 cents99 cent, yeah, somewhere in that
area.
We sat down as a family lastnight.
It was it was daddy daughtermovie night, but my wife joined
us and she put us on to aphenomenal movie tyler perry,
it's all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
He's.
I've already seen it.
I've already seen the movies.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I saw it straw the movie called is called straw and
yes, oh, and it was produced bytyler perry that's one of my
desired.
Long to meet people right andwho has who kicked first on his
desk right, we have, uh, we have, um, a nice friend named mary
(25:05):
who has placed my wife's firstbook, her memoir, on tyler
perry's desk in hopes that youknow, he may read it and um, get
a hold of it somehow.
So but the, the, the movie wasjust as my wife was saying.
The female in the movie had tochoose what to buy.
(25:27):
Right, she gave up airconditioning so that she could
buy her daughter's medicine.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Her daughter was special needs and you know her
medicine was very expensive.
Insurance didn't cover it alland you know, beyond paycheck to
paycheck, this woman was living.
And this is the second timeI've seen the movie and I was
just more heart-wrenching thanthe first, if that was even
possible, because I mean he didsuch a great job directing this
(25:56):
movie he really did.
It was amazing.
And to to watch it it's soimpactful as a parent to someone
who has special needs and hasbeen that way her whole life.
Right, and you know I don'twant to give away the movie.
Everybody needs to watch thismovie.
It's phenomenal, but it's justit shouldn't.
This country should not bewhere you have to decide do you
(26:21):
want to pay for this or do youwant to pay for that?
Like it shouldn't be that way.
You know it shouldn't.
And then you have people who aremulti-multi-millionaires, who
have money and they pay it onlavish cars and homes and boats
and whatever.
And good for you, that's greatfor you.
But why can't we make it where,if children need medication,
(26:42):
they can get it regardless ofthe parent's income?
Because if a kid needs medicine, they need medicine, right, and
to me, laughter is also such agreat medication and that's why
we've done these courses likethe Stucco Squad.
You know, kids have differentdisabilities and I hate the word
disabilities because there'snothing they can't do.
(27:04):
They just have to learn aboutit a different way.
Michael J Fox said it best whenhe said everybody can learn.
It's just how you learn, right.
So, like Stucco just created acourse called Stucco, take it
Away, and it teaches kids thathave what is called learning
disabilities and even though Ihate that term, I absolutely
(27:24):
hate that term how, in a specialneeds classroom, if you will.
How to take away in subtraction.
So take it away Stucco.
You know like it opens up andStucco is on the hunt for why is
some of his cookies missing?
Stucco's missing cookies, andhe's in a classroom and it's
done with cartoons and where arehis cookies?
(27:46):
Right, and it's so cute.
And, like the classes, I lovewriting them, like I kept saying
to my husband I want to add acouple of classes a week.
I do it daily because it's somuch fun to do it.
And you know, here's Stucco,and then he's in the Stucco
squad.
And you know, here's Stucco,and then he's in the Stucco
squad and the kids are learningand they're doing all sorts of
fun stuff.
And it's just, you know, and toput a smile on people's face.
(28:09):
And then there's stuff out therefor us adults, like I have a
course called my Butt isBluetooth.
And it's because I joke aroundwith my surgeons and say I need
a USB port because I have toplug in my body to be functional
.
And you know, now I have to goand charge.
Tonight when we're done here, Ihave to go charge my back and
it sucks, like it sucks.
(28:31):
And then I have to plug in myheadphones or my hearing aids,
if I can wear them, and I haveto charge my prosthetic arm.
And you know, if I get thecochlear implants, by the grace
of god, those have to be charged.
And it's like all of thesethings.
I am like this robot that in 25, 30 years just needs a wd-40
(28:52):
washing like forget the shower,I just need, like you know, the
the oil can from the wizard ofoz, creek, creek, creek, creek,
creek.
But you know, and then I seepeople who are in such a crappy
mood for the dumbest reasons andit's like what do you really
have to be so pissy about?
Like, why are you so pissy?
I mean, you know you're in yourmillion dollar home, you have
(29:15):
your eight cars, you havewhatever and and you're just a
miserable bastard.
Why, why, why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You're hitting home.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I don't have, that's not home.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
That's not home.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Okay, near home.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
We're talking about narcissism now.
Now you've gone into anarcissistic thing which is your
prequel to your first book.
Yes, it is the prequel.
So y'all get on Amazon and lookup who kicked first, and also
narc narc who's there as inknock knock, but it's narc narc
(29:52):
and it you know, and that's byvictoria cure.
And the reason it's narc narcis because it's about narcissism
and you never know what you'regoing to get behind that closed
door.
And growing up very easily anddiagnosed biological I come,
sperm donor and egg donor.
There's a narcissist, and avery serious narcissist, as if
there's any levels of it.
But like one of the things hedid the most is he would go no
(30:18):
contact with me or I would go nocontact with him and his answer
would be well, you did it,you're the grown-ass man, right.
And so he has tried to contactand kind of like do this, like
whoosh in again for a minute andthen he'll whoosh out again.
And he.
(30:39):
I got a phone call and I was onthe phone with a patient and I
didn't take the call because I'mnot going to do that.
And then I wrote back you rangbecause I don't reach out first.
I'm not going to reach outfirst, but the old me would have
groveled and begged and pleadedfor him to be in my life.
(30:59):
And no matter how many thingsthat he did wrong, I always took
the fault for it.
I always, as he calls it, fellon the sword.
There's that stupid Englishproblem Fell on the sword,
didn't matter what I always did.
And so I would beg him toforgive me for his actions, even
though I could have been in adifferent physical, geographic
(31:21):
state.
I could have been domicile twohours away, doesn't matter if
something was screwed up.
It was my fault always, becausehe always blamed me.
He's going to read out yourmicrophone wire.
He always blamed me.
And so now, for the very firsttime ever in my life, I'm not
(31:42):
reaching out and begging him all.
For the very first time ever inmy life, I'm not reaching out
and begging him.
And he told me he wanted tohave a conversation with me and
I told him I have no desire andI've never once in my entire
life ever said that to that man,ever.
I don't have a man's word, butever said that.
And that's like a head spin forhim, because I've always been
the black sheep, the escape goat, and now I'm like no.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
So, speaking of narcissism and having a
narcissistic father, how do youget out from under that?
How do you?
How do you Well, you couldanswer that too.
How do you take?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
back that control.
It took me decades, I mean, butyou could answer it from a
man's point of view.
I mean, how did you do it?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
From whom your parent .
Well, I didn't know what anarcissist was at the time.
I just said oh, that's just, ma, that's just the way.
She is Right, you know, but herthing was she'd make you feel
guilty.
Like you know, she's the victim.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Never did Right, was she'd.
She'd make you feel guilty,like you know she's like victim.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
never did right, never instead of having that
domineering control right.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Never take accountability ever for anything
right.
And then it was, and we bothheard it, like when faith was in
the hospital, you know.
She was in complete organfailure and we almost lost her
that's our daughter right, weheard.
Well, I texted once and thatwas from my sperm donor.
You, you texted once.
(33:08):
Are you serious?
Like everybody knew, we hadlisteners reaching out.
We had oh yeah people we didn'teven know, sending food to the
hospital for us, right and andwell, I reached out once.
What, what is this?
Um, literally once.
But then your mom knew what wasgoing on, with faith and not a
(33:34):
word.
Oh, and not a word, not aphrase, not nothing.
And her answer was I didn'tknow if you'd take the call.
I mean, come on now seriously.
And I mean I've said a thousandtimes to you if you want a
relationship with her, that'syour choice.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And she tried to turn everything around on us so,
going back to the question howdo you get out from under their
thumb?
Excuse me, y'all the I mean forme.
I had to physically move.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I had to, but that didn't mean was it to stop at
first?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
it didn't cause it stopped, but it caused an eye
opening because it causes me tostart realizing hey, there's
something not right here right,and then, in turn, it was blamed
on me for causing it right.
But it was not me, it was heractions right right and and also
it took someone who knew anarcissist to point it out.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Hey, this is the way your mom is, just like my dad,
so well, you actually came to meabout it and asked me a couple
different times about things andyou know you said this isn't
right, what she's doing isn'tright.
And I was like, oh, I know,because I've had this myself,
(34:57):
you know, and the thing is theyrefuse to take accountability
for their actions.
It It'll never happen.
And like when you know theywon't reach out because then
that shows almost a weakness.
So then, like they had your,she had your brother call, and
that was shocking.
And then when we spoke to her,it was well, I could have you
(35:21):
know.
And I said very quickly I don'tcare, it's not about me, it's
the fact that you hurt myhusband and you hurt my child.
You know, you made promisesthat you would never do this and
you did.
And the fact that she knew whatwas going on and still said
nothing.
And while in the conversationit was all about her, right,
this is a big flag about anarcissist.
(35:42):
It was all about her, just likeit's always about her, right.
That's, this is a big flagabout a narcissist.
It was all about her, just likeit's always about him.
And it was me, me, me, me, likeher, right, it was all like.
This is what I've been goingthrough, and never once did she
ask Michael, how are you, how isfaith in all this?
She never said how's faith, andI don't care that.
She didn't ask about me likethat.
You know, the one thing thatreally hurt me was the fact that
(36:04):
when I went through myamputation it's fine she made a
choice not to reach out to me,but that's her choice.
She didn't call her son to say,how are you holding up?
How are you doing?
Or her granddaughter, how areyou know?
Can I talk to faith?
How's faith doing with all ofthis?
There was no outreach for anyof that at all, and that's
(36:28):
really tough.
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
So I'm wondering if you guys out there, guys, if you
have a, yeah, you guys if y'allhave a narcissistic mother or
wife that you have to deal withor have dealt with or are
currently dealing with, I wantyou to write me an email, Okay,
and briefly describe what you'reliving in, what you've gone
(36:55):
through and how you got out ofit.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
A lot of people are afraid to do emails.
Just so you know.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
How much would they reach out to me?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, no, I'm just saying, you just need to let
them know.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah, you can sign your name Bob.
You can be Bob Dylan for all Icare.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
No, read it online or whatever.
If you don't want us to Rightit works.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
And we don't mention geographic location, correct.
So my email is SolomonS-O-L-O-M-O-N.
The number four atacontagioussmilecom.
Solomon, the number four atacontagioussmilecom, I'd like to
hear from you guys.
There's not enough of us thatput our business out there,
(37:41):
because we're taught to keep itall bottled up and keep it
inside.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
So let the world hear from y'all but how is it, as a
man, to be raised with anarcissistic parent?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
like you, sometimes you just don't know, right.
Okay, let's say, let's just usethe word ignorant.
I was ignorant.
Okay, I did not know what anarcissist was.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Well then explain as there are other kids, you have
siblings why there's no contactwith you as a man, because I
know why it is for me as a woman.
Why is their relationship withthe other siblings?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I couldn't answer that.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
And not you.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Couldn't answer that.
You know it could be benefits,could be the closeness,
geographically geographic,living in the same location, you
know and hey, when I need ahand I can reach out.
And there it is what I need ahand.
Well, I need a hand from you.
I bet y'all.
(38:39):
My wife has only one arm Ithink our listeners are
suppliers and we make light ofit.
Now it's, you know, in allseriousness, you know we have a
um, a special friend my wife'sdealing with, now that um is
about to lose hers?
I think so, and we do jokeabout it.
My wife and I can joke about itbecause you know, we live it.
(39:02):
She lives it every day.
I wake up and and I used to siton the end of the bed and bitch
and complain about my back oh,my back, I'm getting old and
then stand up and hear my kneespop.
Well, all I have to do is lookover at my wife and there's her
nub laying on the pillow andlike what the hell do I have to
complain about y'all?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
or if I'm facing him, I can't hear.
So I'm saying the other day Iwas like I'm damned if I do and
damned if I don't.
Right, but my husband will tellyou, I never sit and complain.
I don't say, oh, my god, woe isme, I can't work today, I can't
do this.
My husband will say can youplease take a day off?
Could you please?
What am I gonna do to get younot to work today?
What is that?
And the thing is is like I can'tlay on my nub because I have
(39:46):
CRPS, which is a whole differentshow, and then that's complex
regional pain, and then I havethis new STEM router, but then,
if you don't know, I have 26pieces of metal in my face from
complete upper and lower jawreplacement.
And then if I'm laying, I canlay on my nub for like five or
ten minutes and then I can't.
(40:07):
It's excruciating, so I can't.
But then if I'm laying on mynub, then my left ear is covered
, I hear nothing, and it's sofrustrating, and so then I have
to turn over and then I can hear.
But then I'm facing the otherway.
So it's like don't we keepchanging sides in the room?
And then I'm this, but then I'mfacing the other way, so it's
like we keep changing sides inthe room and then I'm this
person that will changeeverything in the room, like the
(40:28):
dressers and the nightstands,and everything has to move.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Oh, that's a fun time .
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Oh, you've never done it.
Every time I've done it, you'vecome home.
I will get faith out here.
Every time you have gone towork and come home and I have
changed that whole room aroundby myself.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I thought we were keeping this PG.
What Really?
I didn't mean move the bed likethat woman, lord have mercy.
You mean you scooted the bedwhen you plugged in the light we
had it positioned the other way.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
No, that bed's always been that way.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
And then we turned it ?
No, we did not.
And then we moved all thedressers safe I did not.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
You, we can call faith in here.
I did it and you came home andyou were like woman, woman, why
are you doing that one arm, whatare you doing?
And then you're like, oh,kitten, what were you doing?
She's like in my room, withthat door shut because I ain't
going in there.
Seriously, I'm not going to betold, I can't do it, like.
That's like the thing.
(41:26):
Don't tell me, oh, you can't,you can't do this.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
You can't be silent for five minutes.
You know that's okay.
See, everybody's laughing theirass off right now.
That took like 0.7 seconds.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Podcast so I can be quiet when we're not recording.
I mean seriously, how about youstay awake the whole day?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
oh lord, I don't know , I won't even go that route why
you win, I win.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Say it again, yeah you win.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
you're right.
Oh, say it again.
I probably took what?
Two naps today, three, three,yeah, well, falling asleep in
the recliner, in the recliner,in the recliner, in the recliner
, in the recliner.
I bit my tongue there.
I'm imitating my wife.
What, what?
Say it again.
I didn't hear you.
I don't have my hearing aids on, you hurt.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
You're hilarious.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Mm-hmm, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yes, all right, take us out.
No, I brought us in.
What us in?
Uh, what?
Oh yeah, you were too busyfidgeting over there.
Well, you got me a new powerbank here and it doesn't work
because the usbc doesn't work onthe iphone, and that's my fault
.
Why, uh?
Did you read it correctly?
Uh?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
how could I have read it when you unwrapped it?
Touche, anywho, try that again,you're right.
Try it again, say you're right.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
No, I already said it once.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Let's try again.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
No, stee Hi baby Rusty is our other Golden
Retriever, that is, that isFaith, faith's Baby Service dog.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Hey Rusty Bear, he's like the gentle giant, he's a
big boy.
We were breeding GoldenRetrievers For, I think, three
years yeah, we had like 38 talkabout puppy love, 30 lay down 35
, 38 and just like like allthese we had 1838 dogs, uh, and
(43:18):
no, it wasn't a breeding farm,it.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Uh.
Our dogs were loved and theywent out with loved and they
were cared for.
Oh, they were spoiled.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
We, we sold them and adopted them they went to
special needs families for themost part gave some gave a lot
of them way over the years, thefamilies that couldn't afford
them right, but you know we haveso many customers still
reaching out to us.
You know, just a few weeks ago,yeah, because a lot of them came
from my baby a A lot of themcame from the puppies and
(43:48):
showing us how happy they are.
Oh yeah, they'll get them so,and my baby boy was this little
sperminator.
He was the stucco, stucco, alot of this y'all, we pay
forward.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yes, and it's going back to the price of the classes
.
How inexpensive they are.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
And we don't want to shut it down, but we have to pay
for all the platforms to run itand we're not taking a paycheck
, but it's literally, you know,it's close to a couple grand a
month and we have to make thatjust to even break even.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
And that doesn't happen unless we get
contributions, and that's theproblem, and we have to have
them get on the website and buya cup of coffee, or join the
academy and take a class or two.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You know them are free or very low cost and then
you can sponsor.
You could do a one-timesponsorship, a monthly, monthly
sponsorship.
You go over there and it on theleft side it says provide a
sponsorship or provide ascholarship Sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Right, we have.
We have millions of followersout here and thank y'all very
much, and it all it would takeis just one, one class from each
of you.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, absolutely, and they're not boring.
They're not boring textbook,boring courses.
There are stuff you could dowith your kid.
There's stuff that you can dothat are bonding with your
children.
There's stuff the kids can do,like going back to school.
There's an IEP armor class tohelp you prepare if you're going
to do IEPs, with informationthat most people don't know
(45:23):
there are.
It's a plethora of everything.
We have things for vets and allof the vets in the veteran um,
the vet, the valor circle sorry,is free, that's all free, um,
so no cost will ever be there.
And then you have the limitlessrecovery tribe and you have the
(45:43):
safe Haven Phoenix Center andyou have Stucco Squad and Camp
Stucco and I mean so much fun.
I mean, and if I have funcreating them, I know your
little ones are going to havethe best time ever taking them.
You know.
I mean so, so much fun so muchfun.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
so, going back way back in the beginning of this
conversation, jump on um phoenixat a contagious smilecom for
your, your story, uh, whatyou've gone through, what you're
going through, and let let usget it out there in a
compilation book it's sotherapeutic to put it on paper,
it really is.
Y'all it's going to be.
Just bring the bucket oftissues when, if you buy this
(46:35):
book or if we choose to read iton air one night Like we read a
story, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, it'd have a lot of trigger warnings definitely
um.
You can join our academythrough our website there's a
direct link on the topcontagious smilecom.
Or you can go to a contagioussmilem, as in mary and as in
nancyco.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
so a contagious smilemnco and please, y'all,
keep supporting us and becausewe're supporting you buy us a
cup of coffee.
You know, support uh someonewho needs uh scholarship I will
tell you that we have donated oh, speaking of donation, I want
(47:20):
to shout out to g Gary, whorecently sent us a contribution.
Thank you, gary.
Thank you, gary.
He's an awesome awesome guy.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I will tell you that I have approved 51 courses alone
just yesterday.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
That we gave away 51 courses.
Wow, that's awesome.
And so you know most peoplewould have been like wow.
So if you do the math at $5,you know you're talking about
$255.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
But it's not about.
It's about paying it forward.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Right, and I'm saying that that's, all it would take
is $255 in donations from people, which is like a $5 donation.
Right, that's not even a powerbill anymore.
But like we right, um, that'snot even a power bill anymore,
but like we gave away that manypeople who are in need, right,
that are just now coming tosurface and saying I need help,
can you help me?
And they were not, um, it was,it was 50 stuck with sleeping.
(48:16):
It was 51 individual um, andyou know what I might be
fabricating that in regards tothat.
It was 51 people and so theycould have actually I actually
give them free reign at that sothey could have done 10 courses
a piece.
We don't know, I haven't goneback and looked at that yet.
I've written down and it givesme the data on it.
(48:39):
But 51 individual people gotthe go-ahead and clear, so they
could have done 10 courses each.
So I mean, that's 250 a person,right?
You know the numbers are.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
And welcome everyone who's recently joined the
academy.
Absolutely, we try to reach outand welcome each and every one
of y'all.
Sometimes y'all slip throughthe cracks.
When you know I have 20, youknow within an hour when I have
20 within an hour.
So I think that's our episodetonight of A Contagious Smile is
Unstoppable with the lovelyVictoria.
(49:13):
She's still sexy as ever andStuckOnRusty here, says
goodnight y'all and thank y'allfor listening.
And Michael is out also as soonas my wife clicks the mouse
good night guys.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.