July 4, 2025 • 58 mins
Some heroes wear uniforms, while others create sanctuaries for healing. In this powerful conversation, we meet JJ, founder of Ripple Retreat and a veteran with 27 years of military service who transformed his own trauma into a mission of recovery and hope.
After surviving four close calls during deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, JJ faced another battle with alcoholism that nearly ended in suicide. Standing atop an Australian high-rise ready to jump, a sudden memory of his fallen friend Commander Murphy Sweet became the intervention that saved his life. Now six and a half years sober, JJ has built something remarkable - a non-alcohol retreat center where 75% of profits go directly back to the community.
The episode takes us through JJ's unforgettable "sock story," where seconds spent turning socks right-side out before laundry literally saved him from being killed by mortar fire in Baghdad. This thread of seemingly small moments creating life-changing impacts runs throughout JJ's philosophy: "Pause, love yourself, and be aware of your ripple."
We explore the challenging reality of military service, from writing death letters before redeployment to confronting PTSD after coming home. JJ's work with the Valor Circles program helps veterans navigate these emotional battlefields, while his weekly "Ripples of Recovery" meetings celebrate sobriety milestones rather than just focusing on the daily struggle.
As JJ prepares to begin teaching and leading men's support groups through the Academy, his vision becomes clear - creating spaces where authentic connection and vulnerability can flourish. His ambitious plan to open Ripple Retreat officially on the 20th anniversary of his friend's death speaks to the transformative power of honoring our pain by helping others heal.
What ripple will you create today? Listen, reflect, and perhaps discover how your own challenges might become someone else's salvation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Howdy y'all.
Welcome to another episode ofTake Two.
Howdy y'all, welcome to anotherepisode of Take a Smile
Unstoppable.
I'm here with your lovely sexyhost, victoria.
She's my vixen and we have aspecial guest here today.
His name is JJ y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hello everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
He's the CEO and founder of Ripple Retreat.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Now hold on.
Now you can't just say we havea special guest, jj's like a
brother to me, so that makes himlike your Bill brother-in-law.
Yeah, so give him the.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You just make that up .
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I did, wasn't it great?
Quick and great.
And the howdy, or whatever you.
So give him the.
You just make that up.
I did, wasn't it great?
Quick and great.
The howdy or whatever yourednecks do.
Very insane Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Take it away, Bill.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, Bill, Hi JJ.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hi Victoria and Michael, it's good to see you.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
First of all, from some of us that did not serve,
let me thank you both for yourservice this 4th of July,
because this will air tomorrow,on 4th of July.
So thank you both for yourservice and what you have done
for this country.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Thank you.
Thank you for thanking us,you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're welcome.
So I have interviewed JJ before.
He's given me such an honor todo it on a major, major
milestone in his life and I wantJJ to kind of tell us how we
are partnering up and let himhave the floor for a minute,
because he so deserves it.
Go for it, it's all yours.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Well, thank you, victoria, I appreciate it.
It's my honor to be able topartner with you.
My name is JJ and I am thefounder of Ripple Retreat, which
is a non-alcohol turnkey eventcenter, retreat center and
recovery space.
I'm over six years sober, likesix and a half years sober now,
thank you, and I like I believewe all put out a ripple.
We all touch people's lives,positive or negative, and I like
to put out the positive rippleand with Victoria, we had
partnered and teamed up andwe're doing just that with your
(02:25):
academy.
The everything from well, theValor Circles is my niche.
It's for the military and itdeals with the PTSD, the coming
home, the leaving, going to warand coming back, all of that.
And it's been such an honor tobe able to work these courses
with you and I look forward tohow many lives we're actually
(02:47):
going to touch with this.
So, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
That's amazing.
Now you have actually takensome of the courses and for all
of the many, many, many who haveyet to do that, can you kind of
elaborate, without giving themaway, what it's like and how
they are?
No judgment, no filter, just gofor it All right, all right.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Well, I spent 27 years in the military, have many
, many deployments three to Iraq, one to Afghanistan and there's
taking these courses.
It speaks to me, I mean it hitshome to me.
(03:30):
I mean it hits home like havingto redeploy back to where I was
lucky to get out and to beginwith.
I mean the hard things in life,the fights you have with your
family who you love dearly, andyou fight with them before you
leave, and just things like that.
But this course addresses thatand there's exercises, exercises
in there.
There's daily exercises that Iabsolutely love.
I mean it's like writingyourself a letter or those
(03:51):
exercise, really exercises,really drives home each lesson
and, um I, I applaud you on that.
You did a really, really greatjob of building these courses
thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
He's actually been taking them and he goes, it does
them every day, Like heliterally goes through and he
reads it all and he's active indoing the end to independent
activity in there.
And we have sat down and saidwhat else is needed, Like what
else can I do Cause I don't wantto misrepresent in any way how
(04:29):
and what can we do to impact andhelp for the better.
And so he has given me, likehow you write that final letter,
you know, coming home andleaving that trauma behind.
I don't know if you've read yetor gone into the class that I
wrote for the individuals thatcome home with the anger and
come home abusive.
I don't know if you've gotteninto that I haven't.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I'm not yet.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yes, so there is a plethora in there.
And then there's also the SafeHaven Phoenix Center for any
anybody who's been through abuse, but then there's also
Limitless Recovery Tribe foranyone in addiction or recovery.
I'm in recovery from abuse now.
Everybody doesn't realize thatthey are in recovery of some
sort, so can you tell us alittle bit, because of what you
(05:16):
do, about the recovery and howpeople can benefit from these
courses too?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Oh, certainly.
Well, being six years over sixyears sober, I've gotten gone in
and taken recovery coachtraining and I also started a
recovery meeting every Wednesdaynight at 7 pm Eastern Standard
Time.
You can go online or in personhere in West Paris, maine, and
(05:44):
attend my recovery meetingcalled Ripples of Recovery,
where those of us who are inlong-term recovery we celebrate
and highlight the good in ourlives now that we're sober.
So it's basically an hour oftaking a time out and going hey,
look how far we've come.
Pat yourself on the back andgive yourself some credit,
(06:05):
because we're always lookingforward and trying to one day at
a time.
Well, I've been doing one day ata time for a long time.
It's time to stop and look backand go yeah, since I've done
this, my family's come back tome or you.
Just things come into your lifebecause you're sober now, or
you're out of the heroinaddiction, you're out of the
(06:26):
alcohol addiction or whateveraddiction you had that was
ruining your life.
Now you get to look back and gohey, I'm actually changing my
life.
So it's a really great recoverymeeting.
Ripple Retreat is a beautifulspace where we're holding
retreats and last year we held aconcert.
(06:48):
It's a sober, 100% soberconcert.
It's 100% sober facility.
So you could have a weddinghere.
I'm on 11 acres and you couldhave a beautiful wedding here,
but it has to be alcohol freeand that's supporting the
recovery community and I havegreat ties with the recovery
community and so and I have, Ihave great ties with the
(07:10):
recovery community and thisfacility, monday through
Thursday, is used for just that.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And yeah, and it's amazing because he's so full of
love and heart when he talks toeveryone, he doesn't talk at
them, he talks to them and hereally, really listens, which is
amazing.
And another thing JJ's veryhumble.
You need to tell everybody he'sgiving back to the community
and in a way that is so profoundthat he doesn't really talk
about it and he needs to.
So now I'm going to put him onthe spot and say now you got to
(07:43):
See, I'm not a little annoyingsister, I love you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
You're awesome.
Okay, since I am retired andI'm living on a pension and
because I'm sober, I can tapinto the resources the resources
being my knowledge andexperience and I'm able to build
this company.
And this company is actuallygoing to give more than it
(08:08):
receives.
It's going to give a safe spacefor people on their retreats,
on their weddings and whatnotthat you are going to pay for,
no matter where you go.
Well, when you pay for it hereyour money, the profit I make
off of every event that happenshere throughout the year I'm
giving 75% of all that profit tothe town of West Paris and
(08:32):
local charities.
So I'm building a new businessmodel that this business gives
more than it receives.
I mean it gives to the customerwho gets to have their retreats
and it gives them a sense ofactually doing something for
their community because they'regoing to pay that money whether
(08:53):
they go here or down the street,but their money here actually
goes to the community and tocharities.
And as a company and since I'vebeen through a lot, um, I can
relate.
So I, as a couple rippleretreat as a company will help
one homeless family helpthemselves off the street a year
(09:15):
we're going to take a homelessfamily under our wing and walk
them through.
Help them get through thisprocess to get off the streets.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
That's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
He's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
He really is and he doesn't give himself enough
credit.
I mean, he really is.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Thank you, Okay Pot.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
What Pot called the kettle black.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
What are you talking about?
You don't take any credit forwhat you do either.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What?
You just won so many awards?
No, we won so many.
It wasn't me.
See, there it is.
I just explained to the 40million listeners that I'm out
working and you're in here orsleeping, and so they know that
you're in here working,conducting all this business.
So you won the awards.
(10:06):
But did you say I won theawards?
No, you say we, mm-hmm, hi Pot.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Do you want to throw anything in here too, while
you're at it?
I'm getting gang-dumbled here.
What?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You are an unsung hero.
I mean, you don't give creditto yourself, you give credit to
everybody else, but you aredriving this beautiful ripple
that you're making in this world.
You have helped so many peopleand I am honored to be
collaborating, to partneringwith you and working with you,
and you don't know it, butyou're kind of mentoring me, oh.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So much, that's awesome.
See, that's what you get.
He just dropped stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Drop some more equipment.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Thank you, you don't understand.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
That was sweet.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
He's like the brother I always wanted.
He's so sweet.
It's like I will reach out tohim at like.
It was like last weekend, likeate, something at night, I'm
like.
So I call him and he was busy,but he stopped what he was doing
and he listened and I was likeI just gotta tell you I'm so.
(11:23):
I thought you were by yourself,like I.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I was having dinner with a friend, but I knew this
was important.
I could tell by the energy ofyour message.
I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, Ican give you a minute, but it
was so worth it.
Oh, totally, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Because, there is an amazing magazine called Business
Life and I don't want toexclude anything else.
But Business Life interviewedme and JJ and I are going to be
in the article here that'scoming out in the next two weeks
um, walled off historia and therents and the you know
(12:03):
concierge have it and yada, yada, like everywhere, and it's in
you know just, it's in the umlounges at the airport for
people to read and and I waslike I gotta call him and tell
him, you know.
And it was like and then I justfound out yesterday that there
(12:25):
are five other magazines thatlaunch.
I thought it was going to bespaced out, yeah, Five.
I thought they were going to bespaced out in their publication.
I didn't know that it was allgoing to be like right now and
so you didn't hear about it, didyou?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
She's so humble.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yes, she is, she's so humble, yes, she is three are
physical in your hand flip thepages and digital, and then two
are just digital, and so I'mgetting those.
They'll be here Saturday and,of course, jj's in there as well
, of course he is and it talksabout the collaboration of the
(13:03):
academy, and hold on wait, stopfreeze.
We gotta talk about thecollaboration of the Academy and
hold on, wait, stop freeze.
We got to talk about the factthat we need to mention what's
going on July 13th, which is thewebinar.
So, you can talk about it, goahead.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That's your cookie.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Well, you like my cookie, so go ahead and start
Easy, greasy Keep this PG younever keep our podcast pg holy
mackerel, I also just found outthat we are going to be in
podcaster magazine yeah, that iscool so yes, and we have to use
(13:39):
that's not enough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Jj, that's not enough .
Speaker 1 (13:42):
We have to use an example of a podcast for
everybody to tune in and checkout, and I'm going to use this
one, of course.
So there you go.
And I appreciate Women's Weekly, women's Empowerment, savvy Let
me think there's Women'sInsider.
Insider Weekly just gave usanother global award, and then
(14:03):
Evergreen gave us an award.
We got Special Needs weeklyjust gave us another global
award, and then evergreen gaveus an award.
Um, we got special needs bestspecial needs platform globally.
We got okay, I can't change thetitle of the award, but best
transformative trauma domesticviolence advocate.
That was mine.
And then, right, and that'shard for me right now with my
speech issue going on and then,um, we also got best advocate
(14:28):
domestic violence and abuse andrecovery support system.
So I mean, yes, and it's notjust me, it's a village which is
you and jj you say we're thevillage people why Y M C?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Okay, jj so go back to your sobriety.
We were just talking about thewebinar too.
I'm talking about his sobriety.
So I give up all my hooch, Igive up beer, Beer, and you know
I'm just drinking wine everyonce in a while.
But I got fatter.
I put on like 20-somethingpounds, man.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
How is that?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
possible.
Why is that?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Because you're eating your addiction instead.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I mean, I didn't have an alcohol problem, I just
drunk it because I like thetaste of beer, you know?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, you like the taste of a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Hey PG woman.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Did you.
So yeah, I was just curious Didyou find that that was
happening in your life?
That?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
you kind of?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
traded one for one, or or did the pounds come home.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
No, I traded.
I took exercise up instead ofdrinking.
I mean, I exercise anyway, butwhen I was craving I would go
for a ride, or I mean, duringthe hard times it was.
There's a lot of exercise, Iran a lot of miles, but you got
to do something and you're goingto replace it one way or
another, and if you can replaceit with a positive habit that
(16:12):
enhances your life, that's thebest thing you can do.
Sure, but try to to keep it inmoderation so also I wanted to
piggyback off.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Uh, you mentioned, you know, you served overseas a
couple tours.
I did not go overseas, okay, Iwas.
I was here, conus, when I wasin the air force.
Um, I just fixed the aircraft,you know, put the army on it and
let them go over there to fightthe wars, but you know, I did
my part and planes made itsafely there and safely back, so
I know I did my part and theplanes made it safely there and
(16:44):
safely back, so I know I did mypart.
My ptsd jj came mostly frombeing in law enforcement okay
really yeah I did 13 and a halfyears, uh, and I was a police
officer, private detective,sheriff's deputy and canine.
So when you're in that type ofsituation, you're always, always
(17:07):
watching your back.
You know your surroundings, youwatch people, you watch hands
keel right.
Oh yeah and you never know.
No, I'm not making fun of myone-armed wife.
You never know.
Going into situations, you knowwhat's going to transpire,
especially domestic violencecalls.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Police officer.
You know, you get them awayfrom the kitchen.
You separate the individuals.
You always have a backupofficer.
But oh, I'm sorry I'm offcamera.
Sorry, buddy, but yeah, my PTSDcame from being a cop mostly.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
You know I saw shadow men coming out of my wall and
you know, being young and in lawenforcement, you think you
always got to sleep with a gun.
You know, in between yourmattress you know or your pillow
whatever right, um, but youknow, when you draw your weapon
at the shadow man coming out ofyour wall and your weapon
(18:07):
happens to be pointed across thestomach of your wife at the
time, that's when you take astep back and say what's going
on here, what am I doing?
How can I fix this?
Because I'm scaring the hellout of the current wife, not
this one.
Come on, dog, get out of you.
Know the current wife, not thisone.
And come on, dog, get out ofhere.
My dog just came up.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
That's because he realizes and says you need him.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yes, I know, I'm right.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I just it's gotten a lot better.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, how have you been, how have you been working
through that?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Being with my soulmate right here, this lovely
young lady.
We found out that I pretty muchstopped having the night
terrors Not really, but they'rea lot less frequent.
Okay, right, right, yeah,because I feel safe.
(19:08):
Okay, when I lay in bed withher, um, I know I have a safe
partner there beside me.
Uh, that's going to be therefor me.
Uh, I know she's not runningaround on me, I don't have to
worry about that.
Um, you know she's, she's gotmy back.
So I feel I feel that, that,that secure.
You know, she's my securityblanket.
(19:29):
You know, I feel that secure,she's my security blanket, you
know.
So, yeah, that's.
You know, the dogs help.
Our dogs help tremendouslybecause they're extra ears for
us.
You know, I'm an old guy, I'm51 years old.
So, I'm losing my hearing, Don'tsay anything.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Wife Wife's almost lost her hearing brother now I'm
99% in the right and 90 in theleft and my speech is taking a
turn everybody's telling me didyou mean to say this?
Because you said this and, likemy pronunciation, is taking its
toll on effect when are yougetting the implant?
I had imaging done today and,believe it or not, insurance
(20:11):
doesn't cover it.
It's $300,000.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yes.
So I'm trying to appeal it, butyou know, worst case, I can't
wear hearing aids bilaterallybecause it makes it more
confusing for me in this ear.
So I don't know.
The doctor's going to see whathe can figure out and we're
gonna go from there.
But I did the imaging today andthe horrific test on tuesday.
(20:35):
So yeah, now we just wait.
So let's talk about somethingother than me.
Let's talk about the webinar onthe 13th, yes, yes indeed so and
my husband said to me I'm gonnaput you in in the hot seat with
JJ and have him talk about you.
I was like, oh look, there'sKoda People don't think I said
squirrel, but Koda is JJ's dog.
I love Koda, koda's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Husky Siberian husky Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Blue eyes she's gorgeous, I wasn't like squirrel
.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Victoria's dog has doo-doo brown eyes.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Victoria's dog is a red-headed golden retriever, who
is amazing, and the icon forstucco squad.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
So, yay, yes, that's right so let's talk, gentlemen,
about the webinar on the 13th uh, you have some awesome folks
coming on yeah, I'm looking atone, yeah yeah I'm on there too.
(21:42):
Yeah, I am so excited to bepart of this amazing story.
It's heart-wrenching.
It is a story about her niecebeing murdered on campus, uh, by
her ex, and that is very, verychallenging.
I did just finished creating acourse in honor of her, um
really I did.
That's awesome and it's not liveyet, because she wants to get
(22:05):
respectfully.
So she wants to get the parentsof maggie's permission to to do
it.
Even though there's no lastnames mentioned, I am trying to
get Keelan and JJ to meet.
I think that will be aphenomenal mix.
My husband has met Keelan.
He is a force to be reckonedwith.
He's absolutely amazing.
He is a pistol, to say theleast.
(22:26):
He's going to be on.
He's in recovery.
He is just a huge heart, justthis and he wants to help as
many people as he can.
He's just phenomenal.
So, and then we, we have a hugelineup and it's great.
So why don't you tell us whywe're doing it?
Jj, what is the reason behindthe webinar?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
The reason behind the webinar is because this is the
entrepreneurs who have made it.
We the best of the best.
I mean we should have failed.
And my story.
I have a ripple that I wouldlove to share that caused my, my
(23:12):
trajectory, the the I'm herebecause of of commander Murphy
sweet, my best friend in Iraq,who was killed two days after I
got home from Iraq on April 7th2007,.
Because of him, I'm I'm alivetoday and I am 2007.
(23:33):
Because of him, I'm I'm alivetoday and, um, I am recovering
and I'm giving these tools andI'm able to make something out
of it and I have.
I um, I recently got a letterfrom a senator get out
congratulations, thank youwhere's the letter?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I forgot to mention the letter.
You have to give a little bitJJ.
You've got to explain how MajorSweet did what he did for you.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Commander, it's Commander Murphy Sweet.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh, no worries.
Navy he was a Navy commanderand so, as an alcoholic and
having retired from the military, I was free to do anything I
want.
I was single, I backed, I wasbackpacking the world, literally
, uh, for eight months, goinganywhere I wanted, wherever the
(24:27):
wind I went, and I was drinkingthe entire time, and you'd think
I'd be happy.
I was in Australia, but I foundmyself on top of a condo
getting ready to take a headdive into the asphalt, uh, three
stories down.
I was upset because I'm goingto really devastate my family,
my children, um, and I got tothe point of I was going through
(24:48):
with it.
I got dizzy, I was gettingready to do it and Commander
Murphy Sweet popped in my headand it felt like a hand hitting
my chest and I stopped and Ithought, oh my God, he gave his
life and I'm getting ready tothrow mine away.
So I stopped, I climbed backover that railing and, long
(25:11):
story short, he stopped me fromkilling myself.
I ended up learning how to be myown hero, loving myself and
getting myself out of that hole.
I even reached out for help.
I was in Australia and I got sodesperate I grabbed my phone
and I dialed 911.
Desperate, I grabbed my phoneand I dialed 9-1-1 and in
(25:35):
australia I got a message.
You know, your call cannot becompleted.
I was like, oh man.
So that was when it was like Igot a tap on my shoulder says
you got to be a hero to yourself.
You've been a hero to so manyin the world.
It's time you'd be a hero toyourself.
And I I did.
And it was all because ofcommander murphy sweet.
You know, because of him I'msober and I'm on the track that
(25:59):
I'm on and I'm looking to openripple retreat, completely for
profit for the community, on the20th anniversary of his death.
So that will be april 7th 2027all right, right Amazing.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
And because it's 4th of July and we're going to, you
know, thank everybody for theservices that y'all did, I'm
going to put both of you in thehot seat for just a second and I
am going to ask JJ to tell thesock story about how you are
such a hero to many and I wantyou just to to give that,
because that that story juststays with me, it moves me, and
(26:33):
I'm going to give my hero storyof my husband, but I want you to
you are my hero.
I want you to tell the sockstory if you will.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I'd be honored to.
Um, yeah, january 23rd, january23rd 2007,.
Actually, I picture that you'rein Baghdad, iraq, in the
international zone, workingendless hours and I, finally, my
boss, let me off work early at7.30 at night.
I had been there since like sixo'clock that morning and I ran
(27:10):
home and I grabbed my laundryand I ran in and we're in
barr're in barracks, the theywere the iraqi soldier barracks,
but we ended up.
We were occupying them, um, inthe iz and I went to do my
laundry and normally I take mylaundry and just dump the whole
thing in the washer, throw somedetergent, slam the lid and walk
(27:32):
off.
Well, I was talking to a buddyearlier that day about we were
in the gym working out.
I looked at his socks, hiswhite short socks, and was like,
how do you keep your sockswhite?
He goes, well, you turn themright side out.
And I got thinking, oh yeah,when I take them off, I don't,
okay.
So when I did the laundry, Istopped and I dumped it all out
(27:56):
on the dryer and I turned threepairs of socks right side out
and then I scooped it and I wentto walk back the direction I
had come and a mortar came inand hit the end of the building
right where I was going to be,and hit the end of the building
right where I was going to be.
So had I not turned those socksright side out, I would have
been on the stairwell going downwhere this mortar had hit, and
(28:20):
it hit so hard and was so loud.
You ever see that scene inPrivate Ryan where he can't hear
anything?
Right, right, oh, that's real,that's real.
And talk about the percussion,everything.
Just yeah, oh, yeah and um.
After that shock wore off, aguy came out of his room and
(28:42):
said hey, joe was in his roomand he was the room on the end
of the building.
So I ran down there and wecouldn't get into his door.
So I ended up kicking in ablast proof window out of the
cinder block wall.
I don't know how I did it, but Idid it.
And when I grabbed that windowand I threw it out, I looked in
and I saw joe sitting half onhis bed with literally a brick
(29:05):
sticking out of the side of hishead because he was standing
next to the, the wall that hitthat the mortar had hit.
Um, I went to unlock the doorand just as my hand had unlocked
it, the door popped open.
It was the medics that theywere there that second.
(29:26):
They scooped him up and got himto the hospital.
The cash, which we call thecash, and a couple of days later
I finally got in touch with thedoctor to find out how he was
doing and he said he was in acoma.
And he said, had it taken aminute or two longer to get him
to the hospital, he would nothave made it because of swelling
(29:47):
on the brain.
His name is Joe.
Have made it because ofswelling on the brain.
His name is Joe, the incidentwas January 23rd 2007.
And I don't know anything more.
All other than he was sent toLahnstuhl in Germany and from
there I don't know I lost.
I've never found out.
So if anybody's listening tothis and they know of this
(30:10):
incident, please let me know.
I would really like to know howJoe's doing.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Well, reach out to us and we'll let you know how he's
doing Right?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Let us know Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
God, just think about how many seconds that was to
flip those socks.
Maybe 10, 15 seconds, I don'tknow.
Just a few seconds could havechanged your life or ended it
rather.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, so it was that's.
Uh, yeah, I had four close calls, that first tour, I mean yeah,
and the?
The tough day nobody tells youabout it's not when you get home
and you're re-acclimating toyour family and you're not
(30:59):
walking around expecting to getshot at or mortars to fall out
of the sky.
The really tough day is whenyou get on the plane to go back
to Iraq, back to that deploymentthat you were lucky to survive,
and then you get orders to goback and then you're like, oh my
God, I'm writing death letters,I'm writing letters to my kids
(31:21):
because I'm not going to comeback this time.
And then you say goodbye toyour family and, knowing that
you are going to your death, itdidn't happen, but that's the
way I felt, because I barelyescaped my world.
Anyway, I and yes, I was not afront front linesman, I was not
(31:42):
out there every day in the redzone, um, I went out there a few
times, but I was in the iz mostof the time and that was just
random mortars that would belobbed in that's crazy an
international zone right in themiddle of baghdad.
They, they got saddam'sheadquarters and all that good
(32:02):
stuff and they walled it off andthey called it the
international zone.
And that's where all thecountries came together to
operate, out of Iraq, out ofBaghdad, so all the NATO forces
and its international zone, iz.
And we call it the green zonebecause all your weapons are
unsafe, and you call it the redzone when you go outside the red
(32:25):
zone, because you lock, loadand click your weapon to unsafe,
which is red.
So those are the terms that gowith the deployment.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Wow, Well, I'm glad you took those few seconds,
brother.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
What you're doing now , your mission.
You're impacting others, andall it takes is one Like my wife
got an email or a letter orsomething from one of the many
who have read her book and saidthat your book saved my life,
you know.
So that's all worth it In myopinion.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yes, sir, that's that ripple I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
See, because I didn't serve in the military.
You guys can't give me a hardtime on this, which is great for
that reason, but my husbandhusband, even though he did
serve I have to tell my herostory here is that my husband
was my call for help during myabuse.
And not only that, but he alsowent with me to court and so I
(33:40):
so many people didn't understandthat we were sitting in the
courtroom.
He was sitting beside me and Ileaned over to him and said he's
here and he was like what?
And he had already met him inthe beginning.
And he told him if you hurt her, I'll kill you.
That's what he told him in thebeginning.
And I said he's here and hesaid no's not, and not even.
(34:01):
Five seconds later he opens thedoors and walks through the
courtroom and I'm sitting thereand I'm watching, and I'm
watching them both, and then Icall him idiot, gets up to go
out of the courtroom for aminute and out goes my husband
Michael.
He's like I'll be right back.
I'm like wait, wait, what, what?
And they both are now out ofthe courtroom and I'm like this
(34:25):
is when I want to go on themen's room, like I want to know
what's going on, what'shappening, whatever that was
like the longest five minutes ofmy life, because in walks idiot
first, and I'm looking for,like dislocations, blood, you
know something and I don't seeanything.
And he walks and he's sittingthere and I'm looking at his
knuckles.
I'm looking to see you knowsomething and I don't see
anything.
And he walks and he's sittingthere and I'm looking at his
knuckles.
I'm looking to see you know ifhe right, right, right.
(34:48):
I'm sitting there and I look athim and I was like what happened
?
And he goes there are somethings you just don't need to
know and I'm like, well, thisisn't one of them.
Like I need to know whathappened and to this day it's my
seventh wonder, if you, becauseI have no clue what happened.
Eighth wonder, whatever.
I have no idea what happened inthat situation.
(35:11):
I don't know whatever happened,but he was there for me.
He went to court with me.
Several times he came up and Iremember the first time he met
our daughter he was like I stillhave the text message he sent
and he went oh shit, I didn'trealize it'd be somebody as
beautiful as you.
And he's like I'm in troubleand I still have that very text
(35:33):
message and he gave me thelittle poop emoji and all and it
was just like you know.
And now he's adopted her andthat's his baby.
And yesterday she went andtattooed.
Oh my god, she went and got adaddy's girl tattoo yesterday,
whole inside.
(35:54):
I'll text you a picture of it,the whole inside of the forearm.
He said to her when we almostlost her last year, he said to
her he whispered to her as hekissed her on the forehead
choose your destiny.
And so she tattoos this hand ofa like a big guy dad hand with
his pinky, holding a littlegirl's hand with a ribbon around
(36:17):
it that says choose yourdestiny, and it's his daddy
daughter and it is gorgeous, itis nice, oh wow, beautiful yes,
it was so sweet, it was sogiving and loving.
And you know she's like I loveyou and mommy always said the
only person to ever be my dad isyou.
(36:37):
And everybody who knows themknows they prank each other and
love to kid around and she's'slike but if you ever cheat on
mom, I'm castrating you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Like that was right after the tattoo, like they're
hugging.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
He's crying.
It's a beautiful moment.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
There was pollen.
Okay, listen, there was nopollen, there was pollen.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I videoed it no.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
There was pollen.
There was a window opensomewhere, there was pollen
pollen.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know how it is jj , whatever, anyway, yeah so and
we're going like it's just, it'sbeautiful, because in these
days, today, people don't wantto pay it forward.
They're so self-involved, soself-centered, it's like they
don't care about anyone butthemselves.
And when you have statisticslike one and four and that could
be a wife, a, a mom, a daughterthemselves, it could be you
know any of these individuals,god forbid that are in a trauma
(37:27):
related situation or they'redealing with, you know, being in
recovery themselves, or theyare in the trenches of it, with
special needs individuals likethemselves or their children.
And then you have these academy, I mean, I mean these courses.
We've seen courses that arethree, four, five hundred to
twenty five hundred dollars apiece and, like our stucco squad
(37:51):
, majority of them are free.
Some of them are 4.99 at most,because all we're trying to do
is be able to continue to payfor the platform and all of the
other software and expenses thatit costs to put them on month
after month.
Michael and I've never taken apaycheck.
I've been doing the contagioussmile for 19 years.
He's been with me on it now forfive.
(38:11):
The launching of the Academynone of it.
We've never taken a singlepenny and it's tough.
It is so tough because we'vebeen financing it ourself.
But if somebody comes and saysI can't afford it the $4.99 or
you know, because most of themwe try to make sure are free,
Everything in the Valor Circleis free, but we have people who
(38:33):
donate and it's a buy my coffee.
We had someone the other daygive us 15 coffees, which was
amazing and we were so honoredand that gives us.
Thank you, Corey amazing and wewere so honored and that gives
us thank you, cory.
Yes, that gives us 15additional opportunities to help
others and still stay on doingwhat we do, which is why we're
doing the webinar.
Every single penny goes backinto this scholarship fund to
(38:55):
help others.
That never get turned away.
That, literally, you know, needsomeone to say'm here, and all
three of us know what that'slike.
I'm here, you're not alone,we're here for you.
It may be dark right now, butthat tiny little flicker of
light is going to start awildfire and we're going to help
you every step of the way andyou're not alone.
(39:15):
You are not alone.
I've watched JJ and his meetingsand he is just since we saw you
last.
How's it been?
Or how's this going?
And it's not so many peoplejust sit and they just listen,
but they don't take in.
They, you know, or they talk atyou, not to you, and that's not
how he is, that's not how weare, and that's what makes such
a huge difference is becauseit's so hard to find people who
(39:39):
actually are authentic and theycare, and that's why I'm so glad
that we have partnered with JJlike we have, and JJ is actually
going to start teaching.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Through us.
Good yeah, that's awesomebrother.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Yeah, let him tell you about it yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Going through the course.
I couldn't help, but with myexperience and whatnot, I feel
called to teach the course andbe there to help others, because
you know recovery is possibleand community is the cure.
And when you're taking a courselike this, it's fine doing it
(40:20):
by yourself, but if you havesomebody there to help you or
just to go through it with you,each course like one course a
week that would help, I mean,and we build a community that
way.
And that's one of the things Ilove about the recovery
community.
And you mentioned earlier thatyou said everybody's selfish.
(40:44):
Um, there's a lot of people whoaren't.
There's a lot of beautiful inthis world.
There is a ton of beauty andhumanity and kindness and
integrity and love out there.
It's just we don't get to seeit very often, so it takes us to
highlight it.
I mean, I have one of my uh, Ihave a podcast called what's
(41:05):
your ripple and it hi.
I interview people whose liveshave been changed by somebody
and I ask them what is yourripple today?
Because of that person, and I'mup to 13 episodes.
As a matter of fact, I justrecorded an episode recently
with a very, very special guestfrom a contagious smile,
(41:26):
victoria herself.
What?
Speaker 2 (41:29):
yes, and I'll be putting that out soon I hope you
got more than five bucks.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I got the family discount, yes, so it seems like
you'll have a connection thereyeah, for sure, and uh, and it's
an honor to be able to get toteach um, I'm looking to to step
it up by this fall, um and uh,it'd be fun.
I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
um, I understand this webinar will bring you, you
know, to light a lot, a lot offolks like you and Victoria who
are, you know, helping others,you know, selflessly.
So I don't know what the otherguests you know bring to the
table, I don't know theirplatforms, their podcasts, but I
(42:19):
know my wife's excited about alot of them coming on.
I'm excited about all of them,I know.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Whitney, I know, Whitney, you know and I know she
wife's excited about a lot ofthem coming on.
I'm excited about all of them.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I know Whitney, I know Whitney, you know and I
know she does a podcast.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Yeah, she does, but he's also not only going to do
that, he wants to do a men'sgroup as well, and it would be
great, since I can't do themen's group, that you do the
men's group with him.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
You can identify a man as a man.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Well, this is men only.
There are plenty of women'sgroups out there.
There's this men's only groupand it is just to talk about
women.
No stuff that troubles us.
Yes, talk about women.
No stuff that troubles us.
Yes, talk about women.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, that's one of them.
What Women?
I mean women.
You as a woman don't trouble me, that's not what.
Yeah, okay, next subject.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
You're a smart man.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
So down in Florida we had a uh hunting club and it
was no women allowed, right?
Because when not that womendon't go hunting, okay, y'all
don't get me wrong.
But when you go out there withother men, you, you feel more
relaxed.
You can scratch your butt andpick your nose and burp and fart
.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
You do all that now.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, yeah, it's because you know we're married.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
But if you're in a group of strangers and there's a
woman there, that's right.
It's the same thing for women'sgroups.
I've been to a lot of differentrecovery meetings, retreats in
different groups, and one groupwas like oh man, that's perfect
(44:09):
for me, but it's women only, andI don't understand why.
And then it's like wait asecond, you put your shoe on the
other foot and you put yourselfin their shoes and if there is
a male present they're not goingto open up.
Um, as much it will.
There will be an influence,there will be a safety issue
there.
And same thing for a men'sgroup.
(44:31):
I mean, we're guys, we're gonna, we're gonna talk.
And yeah, the men's group talksabout feelings too.
I mean, we're going to talkabout all kinds of stuff, but if
a woman is present it would benot as open.
So, looking forward to that.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
And that's on the 13th.
No, that's the webinar.
No, no, right the webinar.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Webinar Right.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
He's talking about leading a men's group in the
fall when he starts teaching.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Back to the webinar.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
You can't be tired, you just woke up.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I barely took a 10-minute nap for an hour.
Yeah, that was the 10-minutenap.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Seriously.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Yes, you're funny.
Well, I'm looking forward tothe webinar and how many people
we can reach with it and, uh,really push on the academy and
see how many we have.
I mean people can get in.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Um, the more we get in there, the more experience
and and it'll, it'll, it's going, it's going to grow, it's going
to be big and I wish morepeople would really get to know
jj, because he is so humble andgenuine and sweet and authentic
and he doesn't give himself stop, thank you.
He doesn't give himself enoughcredit.
That sock story gets me everytime.
(45:58):
You know, if when I embed him Iwas her, I was told you got to
hear the sock story.
I was like what and then I heardit and I was like, oh, I wasn't
prepared.
But the genuineness of thisindividual and how charismatic
he is and how he he will bendover backwards for people he
cares about it's so hard to findthese days and for what he's
(46:19):
doing, to create he made abeautiful pond in the back.
It's everything, his property'sgorgeous, number one.
And for him to give back 75percent back into the community,
when he could be pocketing ithimself and doing oh yeah but
that is not who he is.
That's not jj.
That's not who jj is and I meanthat's, there's a lot to be
(46:42):
said for that.
I mean there really is.
He's just a standup.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Well, I learned.
I've learned that gratitudegrows gratitude, love grows.
Love.
I mean, whatever you focus on,you get.
So I mean, if you give, you getand I get to give more and more
and more.
It just grows.
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Yeah, I like him.
He's a good guy.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yes, he is Well thanks.
I'll pay you all later Fivedollars.
What are you?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
most proud of for this Independence Day.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
That we still have independence.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
I mean, you know.
So what JJ did was go overseasto fight the terrorism of yonder
.
I stayed here and did my littlepart, but we're trying to keep
the terrorism and, you know, thecommunism out of this country
as much as possible, right, youknow?
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Yeah, and your little part.
Not a little part, I mean weall.
It takes a team.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
So you did your part.
I mean we, we've all Iappreciate.
Thank you for your service, andespecially 13 years as a police
officer.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
That's, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Well, like I said, I've moved around a bit, but you
know um it's.
It's not for everybody, youknow it's.
I don't know if it's a, acalling or a special drive, you
know to be, military or to belaw enforcement.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Or both.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Most of my family were in law enforcement and some
of them were military.
I just kind of followed thefootsteps.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
To me, jj.
I encourage every high schoolerget out of high school, go into
the military.
Absolutely Cut that umbilicalcord from mom.
I encourage every high schoolerget out of high school, go into
the military.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Oh heck, yeah, okay, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Cut that umbilical cord from mom, you know.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Get out there.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Dad may be ready to get rid of you, but get out
there.
Learn how to get in debt, learnhow to get out of debt.
You know You've got aguaranteed job for at least four
years.
You're not going to get fired.
You know you may get in alittle trouble, a little
disciplinary action being stupid, but get out there and learn
and live and then go back toyour college or double dip.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
So I advise everybody , especially kids that are
looking to go to college.
I mean, you spend a lot ofmoney and go in very deep depth
for four years of college.
Okay, go in the air force, goin the army, whatever you do.
Four years in the air force,let's say.
During that time in the airforce you go through training
(49:37):
and you get college credits forthat training.
Also, you can go to nightcourses and take your college
courses and get your associate'sdegree easy in the four years
while you're in the military andit's all paid for 100%.
All these classes are free, soyou can get out after four years
and have a two-year degree andyou have your GI Bill that will
(50:01):
pay 100% of your full-timecollege plus give you a housing
allowance.
So, spend the next two yearsgoing to school and then, after
six years, you have four yearsof experience and a four-year
education and it's all paid for,right?
So when you go to get a jobafter your six years and you
(50:22):
apply, you're going to bedefinitely way above the list.
Yeah, then that that four yeargrad who has two years of
experience at the lowest jobthat you that they got right out
of college.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Entry level position yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
So, yeah, I'm right there with you, michael, and I'm
encouraging to to go in themilitary and serve Good.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
And you know my wife's abuser he was military.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
So, she had.
She had somewhat of a bad tastefor the military because of
that stigma, but not all membersof the US Armed Forces are that
way.
But you know you were Air Force, I knew that, I was with you
and he was Air Force and it'slike not everybody is bad, it's
just that group was bad rightabsolutely absolutely.
Speaker 3 (51:36):
I'm glad that you made it out, victoria thank you.
Michael was your hero yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
I got Victoria, thank you, and Michael was your hero.
Yes, yeah, I got a damn gooddaughter out of it deal.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Yes, you did.
What a wonderful wife.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Did you hear him?
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
You know she's got me in the fad now we all got
tattoos of something dealingwith all three of us on our
bodies.
Now, yeah, anyway.
So happy 4th of July brother.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
Yes, safe travels.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Safe travels.
I did that that before I drovedown from Washington State all
the way down to Georgia and thento Florida, and that 3,000 mile
journey is no fun yeah, forthose listening, I'm getting
ready to leave.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Saturday morning I'm going with a friend and they're
moving to arizona and Ivolunteered to help drive, so we
got a 3 000 mile road tripcoming up starting saturday and
how long do you think it'll takeyou to get there?
Oh, probably about four days.
That's 41 hours.
It's 41 hours of drivingBetween two of us.
(53:04):
We'll take shifts and we'llmake it less than four days.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (53:13):
I mean we can probably make it in two, it
depends.
Once you get rolling, you justgo gas, stop to gas, stop coffee
to coffee.
One sleeps and the other drives.
Before you know it, two dayslater, you're there.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Just be safe.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Thank you, I will, of course.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Just be safe.
Oh yeah, All the best.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
And how can people get to your podcast?
Speaker 1 (53:35):
I was just going to say that.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
Oh, wonderful.
Well, you can go to Spotify andjust Google or search what's
your Ripple.
Or you can go to Spotify andjust Google or search what's
your ripple.
Or you can go to my website,which is ripple-retreatcom and
please don't forget about thedash, because a dash connects
the retreat to the ripple andthe ripple to the retreat so
easily ripple-retreatcom.
(53:58):
And on the website it has linksto the website.
It also has links to resources.
It has links to my Wednesdaynight meeting and if you go
through the website and you feelcalled to support the Ripple
because Ripple Retreat hasbecome a cause it's not just me
(54:19):
anymore, it is a lot bigger thanme and if you want to be part
of something bigger than you,you can easily sign up to
volunteer.
You can go to what's called buyme a cup of love or buy a cup
of love, because I took buy me acoffee and changed it to buy a
cup of love and that money goesdirectly to me.
(54:42):
Building this.
I'm right now that I have ayoga studio that I'm attaching,
I'm putting a bathroom to, I'mbuilding a bathroom right next
to it so I can have recoverymeetings and then yoga and all
these events in this space.
I was missing a bathroom and itcosts money, so I've been
(55:03):
getting donations and thosedonations go directly to
building this retreat and he'sbeen doing the bathroom building
himself like he's doing thework.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
He's not spending the money hiring it out.
He's actually doing it, whichyou know.
There's a lot to be said aboutthat.
And if you go to the academywebsite any of the courses in
the valor circle and they aremaking their way into the
recovery as a collection youwill see um his website as well
and how you can get a hold ofhim.
(55:35):
All of his information willalso be on the show notes, so
you can see that there.
But he is all in the academy.
You can find him in there.
He is a member in there.
Everybody should support him.
Speaker 3 (55:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Can't wait for your class to come through the
website.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
The academy.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
I'm going to let JJ take us out because I love the
way he closes off a podcast.
I heard you do, I do.
I'll give a little bit ofbackstory to it.
My key to my sobriety islearning to love myself.
Love myself enough to keepmyself from doing bad things.
(56:20):
Love myself enough to not drinkto better my life.
And my tagline for RippleRetreat is to please pause.
Take time just to pause, loveyourself and be aware of your
ripple.
Speaker 1 (56:41):
It's that simple, that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (56:43):
Wow, yeah, it's so powerful because I mean, if you
are angry for example, road rageand you get to your destination
or you get home from work andyou've had a bad day at work, a
bad day, um, driving home, andyou get in the house and you're
just before you walk in thehouse, just pause for a minute
(57:04):
and love yourself for doing anamazing job at work and holding
yourself together or feel thefeelings or whatever, and then
be aware of that energy that youhave and that ripple you're
going to make.
Is it going to be a positiveone, or is it going to be a
negative one?
So it's just a nice reminder,really simple Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
Thank you, brother your evening to do this?
Speaker 3 (57:29):
yes, thank you so much for having me on.
It's been an honor and a joy.
I love you guys.
You're a lot of fun she's a funone yeah and together think of
the ripples we're making.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (57:45):
Yeah, it's pretty cool, that's right.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
So happy 4th to everybody.
Speaker 3 (57:48):
Yes, happy 4th.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Thank you again for everybody who has served.
You are not forgotten and wewill not let you be forgotten.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
No, not at all.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Thank you for listening to Contagious Smile,
Unstoppable with Victoria,Michael and JJ.
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Howdy y'all.
Welcome to another episode ofTake Two.
Howdy y'all, welcome to anotherepisode of Take a Smile
Unstoppable.
I'm here with your lovely sexyhost, victoria.
She's my vixen and we have aspecial guest here today.
His name is JJ y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hello everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
He's the CEO and founder of Ripple Retreat.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Now hold on.
Now you can't just say we havea special guest, jj's like a
brother to me, so that makes himlike your Bill brother-in-law.
Yeah, so give him the.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You just make that up .
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I did, wasn't it great?
Quick and great.
And the howdy, or whatever you.
So give him the.
You just make that up.
I did, wasn't it great?
Quick and great.
The howdy or whatever yourednecks do.
Very insane Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Take it away, Bill.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, Bill, Hi JJ.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Hi Victoria and Michael, it's good to see you.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
First of all, from some of us that did not serve,
let me thank you both for yourservice this 4th of July,
because this will air tomorrow,on 4th of July.
So thank you both for yourservice and what you have done
for this country.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Thank you.
Thank you for thanking us,you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're welcome.
So I have interviewed JJ before.
He's given me such an honor todo it on a major, major
milestone in his life and I wantJJ to kind of tell us how we
are partnering up and let himhave the floor for a minute,
because he so deserves it.
Go for it, it's all yours.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Well, thank you, victoria, I appreciate it.
It's my honor to be able topartner with you.
My name is JJ and I am thefounder of Ripple Retreat, which
is a non-alcohol turnkey eventcenter, retreat center and
recovery space.
I'm over six years sober, likesix and a half years sober now,
thank you, and I like I believewe all put out a ripple.
We all touch people's lives,positive or negative, and I like
to put out the positive rippleand with Victoria, we had
partnered and teamed up andwe're doing just that with your
(02:25):
academy.
The everything from well, theValor Circles is my niche.
It's for the military and itdeals with the PTSD, the coming
home, the leaving, going to warand coming back, all of that.
And it's been such an honor tobe able to work these courses
with you and I look forward tohow many lives we're actually
(02:47):
going to touch with this.
So, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
That's amazing.
Now you have actually takensome of the courses and for all
of the many, many, many who haveyet to do that, can you kind of
elaborate, without giving themaway, what it's like and how
they are?
No judgment, no filter, just gofor it All right, all right.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Well, I spent 27 years in the military, have many
, many deployments three to Iraq, one to Afghanistan and there's
taking these courses.
It speaks to me, I mean it hitshome to me.
(03:30):
I mean it hits home like havingto redeploy back to where I was
lucky to get out and to beginwith.
I mean the hard things in life,the fights you have with your
family who you love dearly, andyou fight with them before you
leave, and just things like that.
But this course addresses thatand there's exercises, exercises
in there.
There's daily exercises that Iabsolutely love.
I mean it's like writingyourself a letter or those
(03:51):
exercise, really exercises,really drives home each lesson
and, um I, I applaud you on that.
You did a really, really greatjob of building these courses
thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
He's actually been taking them and he goes, it does
them every day, Like heliterally goes through and he
reads it all and he's active indoing the end to independent
activity in there.
And we have sat down and saidwhat else is needed, Like what
else can I do Cause I don't wantto misrepresent in any way how
(04:29):
and what can we do to impact andhelp for the better.
And so he has given me, likehow you write that final letter,
you know, coming home andleaving that trauma behind.
I don't know if you've read yetor gone into the class that I
wrote for the individuals thatcome home with the anger and
come home abusive.
I don't know if you've gotteninto that I haven't.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I'm not yet.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yes, so there is a plethora in there.
And then there's also the SafeHaven Phoenix Center for any
anybody who's been through abuse, but then there's also
Limitless Recovery Tribe foranyone in addiction or recovery.
I'm in recovery from abuse now.
Everybody doesn't realize thatthey are in recovery of some
sort, so can you tell us alittle bit, because of what you
(05:16):
do, about the recovery and howpeople can benefit from these
courses too?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Oh, certainly.
Well, being six years over sixyears sober, I've gotten gone in
and taken recovery coachtraining and I also started a
recovery meeting every Wednesdaynight at 7 pm Eastern Standard
Time.
You can go online or in personhere in West Paris, maine, and
(05:44):
attend my recovery meetingcalled Ripples of Recovery,
where those of us who are inlong-term recovery we celebrate
and highlight the good in ourlives now that we're sober.
So it's basically an hour oftaking a time out and going hey,
look how far we've come.
Pat yourself on the back andgive yourself some credit,
(06:05):
because we're always lookingforward and trying to one day at
a time.
Well, I've been doing one day ata time for a long time.
It's time to stop and look backand go yeah, since I've done
this, my family's come back tome or you.
Just things come into your lifebecause you're sober now, or
you're out of the heroinaddiction, you're out of the
(06:26):
alcohol addiction or whateveraddiction you had that was
ruining your life.
Now you get to look back and gohey, I'm actually changing my
life.
So it's a really great recoverymeeting.
Ripple Retreat is a beautifulspace where we're holding
retreats and last year we held aconcert.
(06:48):
It's a sober, 100% soberconcert.
It's 100% sober facility.
So you could have a weddinghere.
I'm on 11 acres and you couldhave a beautiful wedding here,
but it has to be alcohol freeand that's supporting the
recovery community and I havegreat ties with the recovery
community and so and I have, Ihave great ties with the
(07:10):
recovery community and thisfacility, monday through
Thursday, is used for just that.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And yeah, and it's amazing because he's so full of
love and heart when he talks toeveryone, he doesn't talk at
them, he talks to them and hereally, really listens, which is
amazing.
And another thing JJ's veryhumble.
You need to tell everybody he'sgiving back to the community
and in a way that is so profoundthat he doesn't really talk
about it and he needs to.
So now I'm going to put him onthe spot and say now you got to
(07:43):
See, I'm not a little annoyingsister, I love you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
You're awesome.
Okay, since I am retired andI'm living on a pension and
because I'm sober, I can tapinto the resources the resources
being my knowledge andexperience and I'm able to build
this company.
And this company is actuallygoing to give more than it
(08:08):
receives.
It's going to give a safe spacefor people on their retreats,
on their weddings and whatnotthat you are going to pay for,
no matter where you go.
Well, when you pay for it hereyour money, the profit I make
off of every event that happenshere throughout the year I'm
giving 75% of all that profit tothe town of West Paris and
(08:32):
local charities.
So I'm building a new businessmodel that this business gives
more than it receives.
I mean it gives to the customerwho gets to have their retreats
and it gives them a sense ofactually doing something for
their community because they'regoing to pay that money whether
(08:53):
they go here or down the street,but their money here actually
goes to the community and tocharities.
And as a company and since I'vebeen through a lot, um, I can
relate.
So I, as a couple rippleretreat as a company will help
one homeless family helpthemselves off the street a year
(09:15):
we're going to take a homelessfamily under our wing and walk
them through.
Help them get through thisprocess to get off the streets.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
That's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
He's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
He really is and he doesn't give himself enough
credit.
I mean, he really is.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Thank you, Okay Pot.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
What Pot called the kettle black.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
What are you talking about?
You don't take any credit forwhat you do either.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
What?
You just won so many awards?
No, we won so many.
It wasn't me.
See, there it is.
I just explained to the 40million listeners that I'm out
working and you're in here orsleeping, and so they know that
you're in here working,conducting all this business.
So you won the awards.
(10:06):
But did you say I won theawards?
No, you say we, mm-hmm, hi Pot.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Do you want to throw anything in here too, while
you're at it?
I'm getting gang-dumbled here.
What?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
You are an unsung hero.
I mean, you don't give creditto yourself, you give credit to
everybody else, but you aredriving this beautiful ripple
that you're making in this world.
You have helped so many peopleand I am honored to be
collaborating, to partneringwith you and working with you,
and you don't know it, butyou're kind of mentoring me, oh.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So much, that's awesome.
See, that's what you get.
He just dropped stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Drop some more equipment.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Thank you, you don't understand.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
That was sweet.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
He's like the brother I always wanted.
He's so sweet.
It's like I will reach out tohim at like.
It was like last weekend, likeate, something at night, I'm
like.
So I call him and he was busy,but he stopped what he was doing
and he listened and I was likeI just gotta tell you I'm so.
(11:23):
I thought you were by yourself,like I.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I was having dinner with a friend, but I knew this
was important.
I could tell by the energy ofyour message.
I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, Ican give you a minute, but it
was so worth it.
Oh, totally, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Because, there is an amazing magazine called Business
Life and I don't want toexclude anything else.
But Business Life interviewedme and JJ and I are going to be
in the article here that'scoming out in the next two weeks
um, walled off historia and therents and the you know
(12:03):
concierge have it and yada, yada, like everywhere, and it's in
you know just, it's in the umlounges at the airport for
people to read and and I waslike I gotta call him and tell
him, you know.
And it was like and then I justfound out yesterday that there
(12:25):
are five other magazines thatlaunch.
I thought it was going to bespaced out, yeah, Five.
I thought they were going to bespaced out in their publication.
I didn't know that it was allgoing to be like right now and
so you didn't hear about it, didyou?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
She's so humble.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yes, she is, she's so humble, yes, she is three are
physical in your hand flip thepages and digital, and then two
are just digital, and so I'mgetting those.
They'll be here Saturday and,of course, jj's in there as well
, of course he is and it talksabout the collaboration of the
(13:03):
academy, and hold on wait, stopfreeze.
We gotta talk about thecollaboration of the Academy and
hold on, wait, stop freeze.
We got to talk about the factthat we need to mention what's
going on July 13th, which is thewebinar.
So, you can talk about it, goahead.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That's your cookie.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Well, you like my cookie, so go ahead and start
Easy, greasy Keep this PG younever keep our podcast pg holy
mackerel, I also just found outthat we are going to be in
podcaster magazine yeah, that iscool so yes, and we have to use
(13:39):
that's not enough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Jj, that's not enough .
Speaker 1 (13:42):
We have to use an example of a podcast for
everybody to tune in and checkout, and I'm going to use this
one, of course.
So there you go.
And I appreciate Women's Weekly, women's Empowerment, savvy Let
me think there's Women'sInsider.
Insider Weekly just gave usanother global award, and then
(14:03):
Evergreen gave us an award.
We got Special Needs weeklyjust gave us another global
award, and then evergreen gaveus an award.
Um, we got special needs bestspecial needs platform globally.
We got okay, I can't change thetitle of the award, but best
transformative trauma domesticviolence advocate.
That was mine.
And then, right, and that'shard for me right now with my
speech issue going on and then,um, we also got best advocate
(14:28):
domestic violence and abuse andrecovery support system.
So I mean, yes, and it's notjust me, it's a village which is
you and jj you say we're thevillage people why Y M C?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Okay, jj so go back to your sobriety.
We were just talking about thewebinar too.
I'm talking about his sobriety.
So I give up all my hooch, Igive up beer, Beer, and you know
I'm just drinking wine everyonce in a while.
But I got fatter.
I put on like 20-somethingpounds, man.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
How is that?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
possible.
Why is that?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Because you're eating your addiction instead.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I mean, I didn't have an alcohol problem, I just
drunk it because I like thetaste of beer, you know?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, you like the taste of a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Hey PG woman.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Did you.
So yeah, I was just curious Didyou find that that was
happening in your life?
That?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
you kind of?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
traded one for one, or or did the pounds come home.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
No, I traded.
I took exercise up instead ofdrinking.
I mean, I exercise anyway, butwhen I was craving I would go
for a ride, or I mean, duringthe hard times it was.
There's a lot of exercise, Iran a lot of miles, but you got
to do something and you're goingto replace it one way or
another, and if you can replaceit with a positive habit that
(16:12):
enhances your life, that's thebest thing you can do.
Sure, but try to to keep it inmoderation so also I wanted to
piggyback off.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Uh, you mentioned, you know, you served overseas a
couple tours.
I did not go overseas, okay, Iwas.
I was here, conus, when I wasin the air force.
Um, I just fixed the aircraft,you know, put the army on it and
let them go over there to fightthe wars, but you know, I did
my part and planes made itsafely there and safely back, so
I know I did my part and theplanes made it safely there and
(16:44):
safely back, so I know I did mypart.
My ptsd jj came mostly frombeing in law enforcement okay
really yeah I did 13 and a halfyears, uh, and I was a police
officer, private detective,sheriff's deputy and canine.
So when you're in that type ofsituation, you're always, always
(17:07):
watching your back.
You know your surroundings, youwatch people, you watch hands
keel right.
Oh yeah and you never know.
No, I'm not making fun of myone-armed wife.
You never know.
Going into situations, you knowwhat's going to transpire,
especially domestic violencecalls.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Police officer.
You know, you get them awayfrom the kitchen.
You separate the individuals.
You always have a backupofficer.
But oh, I'm sorry I'm offcamera.
Sorry, buddy, but yeah, my PTSDcame from being a cop mostly.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
You know I saw shadow men coming out of my wall and
you know, being young and in lawenforcement, you think you
always got to sleep with a gun.
You know, in between yourmattress you know or your pillow
whatever right, um, but youknow, when you draw your weapon
at the shadow man coming out ofyour wall and your weapon
(18:07):
happens to be pointed across thestomach of your wife at the
time, that's when you take astep back and say what's going
on here, what am I doing?
How can I fix this?
Because I'm scaring the hellout of the current wife, not
this one.
Come on, dog, get out of you.
Know the current wife, not thisone.
And come on, dog, get out ofhere.
My dog just came up.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
That's because he realizes and says you need him.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yes, I know, I'm right.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I just it's gotten a lot better.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, how have you been, how have you been working
through that?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Being with my soulmate right here, this lovely
young lady.
We found out that I pretty muchstopped having the night
terrors Not really, but they'rea lot less frequent.
Okay, right, right, yeah,because I feel safe.
(19:08):
Okay, when I lay in bed withher, um, I know I have a safe
partner there beside me.
Uh, that's going to be therefor me.
Uh, I know she's not runningaround on me, I don't have to
worry about that.
Um, you know she's, she's gotmy back.
So I feel I feel that, that,that secure.
You know, she's my securityblanket.
(19:29):
You know, I feel that secure,she's my security blanket, you
know.
So, yeah, that's.
You know, the dogs help.
Our dogs help tremendouslybecause they're extra ears for
us.
You know, I'm an old guy, I'm51 years old.
So, I'm losing my hearing, Don'tsay anything.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Wife Wife's almost lost her hearing brother now I'm
99% in the right and 90 in theleft and my speech is taking a
turn everybody's telling me didyou mean to say this?
Because you said this and, likemy pronunciation, is taking its
toll on effect when are yougetting the implant?
I had imaging done today and,believe it or not, insurance
(20:11):
doesn't cover it.
It's $300,000.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yes.
So I'm trying to appeal it, butyou know, worst case, I can't
wear hearing aids bilaterallybecause it makes it more
confusing for me in this ear.
So I don't know.
The doctor's going to see whathe can figure out and we're
gonna go from there.
But I did the imaging today andthe horrific test on tuesday.
(20:35):
So yeah, now we just wait.
So let's talk about somethingother than me.
Let's talk about the webinar onthe 13th, yes, yes indeed so and
my husband said to me I'm gonnaput you in in the hot seat with
JJ and have him talk about you.
I was like, oh look, there'sKoda People don't think I said
squirrel, but Koda is JJ's dog.
I love Koda, koda's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Husky Siberian husky Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Blue eyes she's gorgeous, I wasn't like squirrel
.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Victoria's dog has doo-doo brown eyes.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Victoria's dog is a red-headed golden retriever, who
is amazing, and the icon forstucco squad.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
So, yay, yes, that's right so let's talk, gentlemen,
about the webinar on the 13th uh, you have some awesome folks
coming on yeah, I'm looking atone, yeah yeah I'm on there too.
(21:42):
Yeah, I am so excited to bepart of this amazing story.
It's heart-wrenching.
It is a story about her niecebeing murdered on campus, uh, by
her ex, and that is very, verychallenging.
I did just finished creating acourse in honor of her, um
really I did.
That's awesome and it's not liveyet, because she wants to get
(22:05):
respectfully.
So she wants to get the parentsof maggie's permission to to do
it.
Even though there's no lastnames mentioned, I am trying to
get Keelan and JJ to meet.
I think that will be aphenomenal mix.
My husband has met Keelan.
He is a force to be reckonedwith.
He's absolutely amazing.
He is a pistol, to say theleast.
(22:26):
He's going to be on.
He's in recovery.
He is just a huge heart, justthis and he wants to help as
many people as he can.
He's just phenomenal.
So, and then we, we have a hugelineup and it's great.
So why don't you tell us whywe're doing it?
Jj, what is the reason behindthe webinar?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
The reason behind the webinar is because this is the
entrepreneurs who have made it.
We the best of the best.
I mean we should have failed.
And my story.
I have a ripple that I wouldlove to share that caused my, my
(23:12):
trajectory, the the I'm herebecause of of commander Murphy
sweet, my best friend in Iraq,who was killed two days after I
got home from Iraq on April 7th2007,.
Because of him, I'm I'm alivetoday and I am 2007.
(23:33):
Because of him, I'm I'm alivetoday and, um, I am recovering
and I'm giving these tools andI'm able to make something out
of it and I have.
I um, I recently got a letterfrom a senator get out
congratulations, thank youwhere's the letter?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I forgot to mention the letter.
You have to give a little bitJJ.
You've got to explain how MajorSweet did what he did for you.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Commander, it's Commander Murphy Sweet.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh, no worries.
Navy he was a Navy commanderand so, as an alcoholic and
having retired from the military, I was free to do anything I
want.
I was single, I backed, I wasbackpacking the world, literally
, uh, for eight months, goinganywhere I wanted, wherever the
(24:27):
wind I went, and I was drinkingthe entire time, and you'd think
I'd be happy.
I was in Australia, but I foundmyself on top of a condo
getting ready to take a headdive into the asphalt, uh, three
stories down.
I was upset because I'm goingto really devastate my family,
my children, um, and I got tothe point of I was going through
(24:48):
with it.
I got dizzy, I was gettingready to do it and Commander
Murphy Sweet popped in my headand it felt like a hand hitting
my chest and I stopped and Ithought, oh my God, he gave his
life and I'm getting ready tothrow mine away.
So I stopped, I climbed backover that railing and, long
(25:11):
story short, he stopped me fromkilling myself.
I ended up learning how to be myown hero, loving myself and
getting myself out of that hole.
I even reached out for help.
I was in Australia and I got sodesperate I grabbed my phone
and I dialed 911.
Desperate, I grabbed my phoneand I dialed 9-1-1 and in
(25:35):
australia I got a message.
You know, your call cannot becompleted.
I was like, oh man.
So that was when it was like Igot a tap on my shoulder says
you got to be a hero to yourself.
You've been a hero to so manyin the world.
It's time you'd be a hero toyourself.
And I I did.
And it was all because ofcommander murphy sweet.
You know, because of him I'msober and I'm on the track that
(25:59):
I'm on and I'm looking to openripple retreat, completely for
profit for the community, on the20th anniversary of his death.
So that will be april 7th 2027all right, right Amazing.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
And because it's 4th of July and we're going to, you
know, thank everybody for theservices that y'all did, I'm
going to put both of you in thehot seat for just a second and I
am going to ask JJ to tell thesock story about how you are
such a hero to many and I wantyou just to to give that,
because that that story juststays with me, it moves me, and
(26:33):
I'm going to give my hero storyof my husband, but I want you to
you are my hero.
I want you to tell the sockstory if you will.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I'd be honored to.
Um, yeah, january 23rd, january23rd 2007,.
Actually, I picture that you'rein Baghdad, iraq, in the
international zone, workingendless hours and I, finally, my
boss, let me off work early at7.30 at night.
I had been there since like sixo'clock that morning and I ran
(27:10):
home and I grabbed my laundryand I ran in and we're in
barr're in barracks, the theywere the iraqi soldier barracks,
but we ended up.
We were occupying them, um, inthe iz and I went to do my
laundry and normally I take mylaundry and just dump the whole
thing in the washer, throw somedetergent, slam the lid and walk
(27:32):
off.
Well, I was talking to a buddyearlier that day about we were
in the gym working out.
I looked at his socks, hiswhite short socks, and was like,
how do you keep your sockswhite?
He goes, well, you turn themright side out.
And I got thinking, oh yeah,when I take them off, I don't,
okay.
So when I did the laundry, Istopped and I dumped it all out
(27:56):
on the dryer and I turned threepairs of socks right side out
and then I scooped it and I wentto walk back the direction I
had come and a mortar came inand hit the end of the building
right where I was going to be,and hit the end of the building
right where I was going to be.
So had I not turned those socksright side out, I would have
been on the stairwell going downwhere this mortar had hit, and
(28:20):
it hit so hard and was so loud.
You ever see that scene inPrivate Ryan where he can't hear
anything?
Right, right, oh, that's real,that's real.
And talk about the percussion,everything.
Just yeah, oh, yeah and um.
After that shock wore off, aguy came out of his room and
(28:42):
said hey, joe was in his roomand he was the room on the end
of the building.
So I ran down there and wecouldn't get into his door.
So I ended up kicking in ablast proof window out of the
cinder block wall.
I don't know how I did it, but Idid it.
And when I grabbed that windowand I threw it out, I looked in
and I saw joe sitting half onhis bed with literally a brick
(29:05):
sticking out of the side of hishead because he was standing
next to the, the wall that hitthat the mortar had hit.
Um, I went to unlock the doorand just as my hand had unlocked
it, the door popped open.
It was the medics that theywere there that second.
(29:26):
They scooped him up and got himto the hospital.
The cash, which we call thecash, and a couple of days later
I finally got in touch with thedoctor to find out how he was
doing and he said he was in acoma.
And he said, had it taken aminute or two longer to get him
to the hospital, he would nothave made it because of swelling
(29:47):
on the brain.
His name is Joe.
Have made it because ofswelling on the brain.
His name is Joe, the incidentwas January 23rd 2007.
And I don't know anything more.
All other than he was sent toLahnstuhl in Germany and from
there I don't know I lost.
I've never found out.
So if anybody's listening tothis and they know of this
(30:10):
incident, please let me know.
I would really like to know howJoe's doing.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Well, reach out to us and we'll let you know how he's
doing Right?
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Let us know Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
God, just think about how many seconds that was to
flip those socks.
Maybe 10, 15 seconds, I don'tknow.
Just a few seconds could havechanged your life or ended it
rather.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, so it was that's.
Uh, yeah, I had four close calls, that first tour, I mean yeah,
and the?
The tough day nobody tells youabout it's not when you get home
and you're re-acclimating toyour family and you're not
(30:59):
walking around expecting to getshot at or mortars to fall out
of the sky.
The really tough day is whenyou get on the plane to go back
to Iraq, back to that deploymentthat you were lucky to survive,
and then you get orders to goback and then you're like, oh my
God, I'm writing death letters,I'm writing letters to my kids
(31:21):
because I'm not going to comeback this time.
And then you say goodbye toyour family and, knowing that
you are going to your death, itdidn't happen, but that's the
way I felt, because I barelyescaped my world.
Anyway, I and yes, I was not afront front linesman, I was not
(31:42):
out there every day in the redzone, um, I went out there a few
times, but I was in the iz mostof the time and that was just
random mortars that would belobbed in that's crazy an
international zone right in themiddle of baghdad.
They, they got saddam'sheadquarters and all that good
(32:02):
stuff and they walled it off andthey called it the
international zone.
And that's where all thecountries came together to
operate, out of Iraq, out ofBaghdad, so all the NATO forces
and its international zone, iz.
And we call it the green zonebecause all your weapons are
unsafe, and you call it the redzone when you go outside the red
(32:25):
zone, because you lock, loadand click your weapon to unsafe,
which is red.
So those are the terms that gowith the deployment.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Wow, Well, I'm glad you took those few seconds,
brother.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
What you're doing now , your mission.
You're impacting others, andall it takes is one Like my wife
got an email or a letter orsomething from one of the many
who have read her book and saidthat your book saved my life,
you know.
So that's all worth it In myopinion.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yes, sir, that's that ripple I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
See, because I didn't serve in the military.
You guys can't give me a hardtime on this, which is great for
that reason, but my husbandhusband, even though he did
serve I have to tell my herostory here is that my husband
was my call for help during myabuse.
And not only that, but he alsowent with me to court and so I
(33:40):
so many people didn't understandthat we were sitting in the
courtroom.
He was sitting beside me and Ileaned over to him and said he's
here and he was like what?
And he had already met him inthe beginning.
And he told him if you hurt her, I'll kill you.
That's what he told him in thebeginning.
And I said he's here and hesaid no's not, and not even.
(34:01):
Five seconds later he opens thedoors and walks through the
courtroom and I'm sitting thereand I'm watching, and I'm
watching them both, and then Icall him idiot, gets up to go
out of the courtroom for aminute and out goes my husband
Michael.
He's like I'll be right back.
I'm like wait, wait, what, what?
And they both are now out ofthe courtroom and I'm like this
(34:25):
is when I want to go on themen's room, like I want to know
what's going on, what'shappening, whatever that was
like the longest five minutes ofmy life, because in walks idiot
first, and I'm looking for,like dislocations, blood, you
know something and I don't seeanything.
And he walks and he's sittingthere and I'm looking at his
knuckles.
I'm looking to see you knowsomething and I don't see
anything.
And he walks and he's sittingthere and I'm looking at his
knuckles.
I'm looking to see you know ifhe right, right, right.
(34:48):
I'm sitting there and I look athim and I was like what happened
?
And he goes there are somethings you just don't need to
know and I'm like, well, thisisn't one of them.
Like I need to know whathappened and to this day it's my
seventh wonder, if you, becauseI have no clue what happened.
Eighth wonder, whatever.
I have no idea what happened inthat situation.
(35:11):
I don't know whatever happened,but he was there for me.
He went to court with me.
Several times he came up and Iremember the first time he met
our daughter he was like I stillhave the text message he sent
and he went oh shit, I didn'trealize it'd be somebody as
beautiful as you.
And he's like I'm in troubleand I still have that very text
(35:33):
message and he gave me thelittle poop emoji and all and it
was just like you know.
And now he's adopted her andthat's his baby.
And yesterday she went andtattooed.
Oh my god, she went and got adaddy's girl tattoo yesterday,
whole inside.
(35:54):
I'll text you a picture of it,the whole inside of the forearm.
He said to her when we almostlost her last year, he said to
her he whispered to her as hekissed her on the forehead
choose your destiny.
And so she tattoos this hand ofa like a big guy dad hand with
his pinky, holding a littlegirl's hand with a ribbon around
(36:17):
it that says choose yourdestiny, and it's his daddy
daughter and it is gorgeous, itis nice, oh wow, beautiful yes,
it was so sweet, it was sogiving and loving.
And you know she's like I loveyou and mommy always said the
only person to ever be my dad isyou.
(36:37):
And everybody who knows themknows they prank each other and
love to kid around and she's'slike but if you ever cheat on
mom, I'm castrating you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Like that was right after the tattoo, like they're
hugging.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
He's crying.
It's a beautiful moment.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
There was pollen.
Okay, listen, there was nopollen, there was pollen.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I videoed it no.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
There was pollen.
There was a window opensomewhere, there was pollen
pollen.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know how it is jj , whatever, anyway, yeah so and
we're going like it's just, it'sbeautiful, because in these
days, today, people don't wantto pay it forward.
They're so self-involved, soself-centered, it's like they
don't care about anyone butthemselves.
And when you have statisticslike one and four and that could
be a wife, a, a mom, a daughterthemselves, it could be you
know any of these individuals,god forbid that are in a trauma
(37:27):
related situation or they'redealing with, you know, being in
recovery themselves, or theyare in the trenches of it, with
special needs individuals likethemselves or their children.
And then you have these academy, I mean, I mean these courses.
We've seen courses that arethree, four, five hundred to
twenty five hundred dollars apiece and, like our stucco squad
(37:51):
, majority of them are free.
Some of them are 4.99 at most,because all we're trying to do
is be able to continue to payfor the platform and all of the
other software and expenses thatit costs to put them on month
after month.
Michael and I've never taken apaycheck.
I've been doing the contagioussmile for 19 years.
He's been with me on it now forfive.
(38:11):
The launching of the Academynone of it.
We've never taken a singlepenny and it's tough.
It is so tough because we'vebeen financing it ourself.
But if somebody comes and saysI can't afford it the $4.99 or
you know, because most of themwe try to make sure are free,
Everything in the Valor Circleis free, but we have people who
(38:33):
donate and it's a buy my coffee.
We had someone the other daygive us 15 coffees, which was
amazing and we were so honoredand that gives us.
Thank you, Corey amazing and wewere so honored and that gives
us thank you, cory.
Yes, that gives us 15additional opportunities to help
others and still stay on doingwhat we do, which is why we're
doing the webinar.
Every single penny goes backinto this scholarship fund to
(38:55):
help others.
That never get turned away.
That, literally, you know, needsomeone to say'm here, and all
three of us know what that'slike.
I'm here, you're not alone,we're here for you.
It may be dark right now, butthat tiny little flicker of
light is going to start awildfire and we're going to help
you every step of the way andyou're not alone.
(39:15):
You are not alone.
I've watched JJ and his meetingsand he is just since we saw you
last.
How's it been?
Or how's this going?
And it's not so many peoplejust sit and they just listen,
but they don't take in.
They, you know, or they talk atyou, not to you, and that's not
how he is, that's not how weare, and that's what makes such
a huge difference is becauseit's so hard to find people who
(39:39):
actually are authentic and theycare, and that's why I'm so glad
that we have partnered with JJlike we have, and JJ is actually
going to start teaching.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Through us.
Good yeah, that's awesomebrother.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Yeah, let him tell you about it yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Going through the course.
I couldn't help, but with myexperience and whatnot, I feel
called to teach the course andbe there to help others, because
you know recovery is possibleand community is the cure.
And when you're taking a courselike this, it's fine doing it
(40:20):
by yourself, but if you havesomebody there to help you or
just to go through it with you,each course like one course a
week that would help, I mean,and we build a community that
way.
And that's one of the things Ilove about the recovery
community.
And you mentioned earlier thatyou said everybody's selfish.
(40:44):
Um, there's a lot of people whoaren't.
There's a lot of beautiful inthis world.
There is a ton of beauty andhumanity and kindness and
integrity and love out there.
It's just we don't get to seeit very often, so it takes us to
highlight it.
I mean, I have one of my uh, Ihave a podcast called what's
(41:05):
your ripple and it hi.
I interview people whose liveshave been changed by somebody
and I ask them what is yourripple today?
Because of that person, and I'mup to 13 episodes.
As a matter of fact, I justrecorded an episode recently
with a very, very special guestfrom a contagious smile,
(41:26):
victoria herself.
What?
Speaker 2 (41:29):
yes, and I'll be putting that out soon I hope you
got more than five bucks.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
I got the family discount, yes, so it seems like
you'll have a connection thereyeah, for sure, and uh, and it's
an honor to be able to get toteach um, I'm looking to to step
it up by this fall, um and uh,it'd be fun.
I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
um, I understand this webinar will bring you, you
know, to light a lot, a lot offolks like you and Victoria who
are, you know, helping others,you know, selflessly.
So I don't know what the otherguests you know bring to the
table, I don't know theirplatforms, their podcasts, but I
(42:19):
know my wife's excited about alot of them coming on.
I'm excited about all of them,I know.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Whitney, I know, Whitney, you know and I know she
wife's excited about a lot ofthem coming on.
I'm excited about all of them.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I know Whitney, I know Whitney, you know and I
know she does a podcast.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Yeah, she does, but he's also not only going to do
that, he wants to do a men'sgroup as well, and it would be
great, since I can't do themen's group, that you do the
men's group with him.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
You can identify a man as a man.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Well, this is men only.
There are plenty of women'sgroups out there.
There's this men's only groupand it is just to talk about
women.
No stuff that troubles us.
Yes, talk about women.
No stuff that troubles us.
Yes, talk about women.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, that's one of them.
What Women?
I mean women.
You as a woman don't trouble me, that's not what.
Yeah, okay, next subject.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
You're a smart man.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
So down in Florida we had a uh hunting club and it
was no women allowed, right?
Because when not that womendon't go hunting, okay, y'all
don't get me wrong.
But when you go out there withother men, you, you feel more
relaxed.
You can scratch your butt andpick your nose and burp and fart
.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
You do all that now.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, yeah, it's because you know we're married.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
But if you're in a group of strangers and there's a
woman there, that's right.
It's the same thing for women'sgroups.
I've been to a lot of differentrecovery meetings, retreats in
different groups, and one groupwas like oh man, that's perfect
(44:09):
for me, but it's women only, andI don't understand why.
And then it's like wait asecond, you put your shoe on the
other foot and you put yourselfin their shoes and if there is
a male present they're not goingto open up.
Um, as much it will.
There will be an influence,there will be a safety issue
there.
And same thing for a men'sgroup.
(44:31):
I mean, we're guys, we're gonna, we're gonna talk.
And yeah, the men's group talksabout feelings too.
I mean, we're going to talkabout all kinds of stuff, but if
a woman is present it would benot as open.
So, looking forward to that.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
And that's on the 13th.
No, that's the webinar.
No, no, right the webinar.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Webinar Right.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
He's talking about leading a men's group in the
fall when he starts teaching.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Back to the webinar.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
You can't be tired, you just woke up.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I barely took a 10-minute nap for an hour.
Yeah, that was the 10-minutenap.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Seriously.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Yes, you're funny.
Well, I'm looking forward tothe webinar and how many people
we can reach with it and, uh,really push on the academy and
see how many we have.
I mean people can get in.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Um, the more we get in there, the more experience
and and it'll, it'll, it's going, it's going to grow, it's going
to be big and I wish morepeople would really get to know
jj, because he is so humble andgenuine and sweet and authentic
and he doesn't give himself stop, thank you.
He doesn't give himself enoughcredit.
That sock story gets me everytime.
(45:58):
You know, if when I embed him Iwas her, I was told you got to
hear the sock story.
I was like what and then I heardit and I was like, oh, I wasn't
prepared.
But the genuineness of thisindividual and how charismatic
he is and how he he will bendover backwards for people he
cares about it's so hard to findthese days and for what he's
(46:19):
doing, to create he made abeautiful pond in the back.
It's everything, his property'sgorgeous, number one.
And for him to give back 75percent back into the community,
when he could be pocketing ithimself and doing oh yeah but
that is not who he is.
That's not jj.
That's not who jj is and I meanthat's, there's a lot to be
(46:42):
said for that.
I mean there really is.
He's just a standup.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Well, I learned.
I've learned that gratitudegrows gratitude, love grows.
Love.
I mean, whatever you focus on,you get.
So I mean, if you give, you getand I get to give more and more
and more.
It just grows.
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Yeah, I like him.
He's a good guy.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Yes, he is Well thanks.
I'll pay you all later Fivedollars.
What are you?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
most proud of for this Independence Day.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
That we still have independence.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
I mean, you know.
So what JJ did was go overseasto fight the terrorism of yonder
.
I stayed here and did my littlepart, but we're trying to keep
the terrorism and, you know, thecommunism out of this country
as much as possible, right, youknow?
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Yeah, and your little part.
Not a little part, I mean weall.
It takes a team.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
So you did your part.
I mean we, we've all Iappreciate.
Thank you for your service, andespecially 13 years as a police
officer.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
That's, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Well, like I said, I've moved around a bit, but you
know um it's.
It's not for everybody, youknow it's.
I don't know if it's a, acalling or a special drive, you
know to be, military or to belaw enforcement.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Or both.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Most of my family were in law enforcement and some
of them were military.
I just kind of followed thefootsteps.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
To me, jj.
I encourage every high schoolerget out of high school, go into
the military.
Absolutely Cut that umbilicalcord from mom.
I encourage every high schoolerget out of high school, go into
the military.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Oh heck, yeah, okay, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Cut that umbilical cord from mom, you know.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Get out there.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Dad may be ready to get rid of you, but get out
there.
Learn how to get in debt, learnhow to get out of debt.
You know You've got aguaranteed job for at least four
years.
You're not going to get fired.
You know you may get in alittle trouble, a little
disciplinary action being stupid, but get out there and learn
and live and then go back toyour college or double dip.
Speaker 3 (49:16):
So I advise everybody , especially kids that are
looking to go to college.
I mean, you spend a lot ofmoney and go in very deep depth
for four years of college.
Okay, go in the air force, goin the army, whatever you do.
Four years in the air force,let's say.
During that time in the airforce you go through training
(49:37):
and you get college credits forthat training.
Also, you can go to nightcourses and take your college
courses and get your associate'sdegree easy in the four years
while you're in the military andit's all paid for 100%.
All these classes are free, soyou can get out after four years
and have a two-year degree andyou have your GI Bill that will
(50:01):
pay 100% of your full-timecollege plus give you a housing
allowance.
So, spend the next two yearsgoing to school and then, after
six years, you have four yearsof experience and a four-year
education and it's all paid for,right?
So when you go to get a jobafter your six years and you
(50:22):
apply, you're going to bedefinitely way above the list.
Yeah, then that that four yeargrad who has two years of
experience at the lowest jobthat you that they got right out
of college.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
Entry level position yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
So, yeah, I'm right there with you, michael, and I'm
encouraging to to go in themilitary and serve Good.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
And you know my wife's abuser he was military.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
So, she had.
She had somewhat of a bad tastefor the military because of
that stigma, but not all membersof the US Armed Forces are that
way.
But you know you were Air Force, I knew that, I was with you
and he was Air Force and it'slike not everybody is bad, it's
just that group was bad rightabsolutely absolutely.
Speaker 3 (51:36):
I'm glad that you made it out, victoria thank you.
Michael was your hero yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
I got Victoria, thank you, and Michael was your hero.
Yes, yeah, I got a damn gooddaughter out of it deal.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Yes, you did.
What a wonderful wife.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Did you hear him?
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
You know she's got me in the fad now we all got
tattoos of something dealingwith all three of us on our
bodies.
Now, yeah, anyway.
So happy 4th of July brother.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
Yes, safe travels.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Safe travels.
I did that that before I drovedown from Washington State all
the way down to Georgia and thento Florida, and that 3,000 mile
journey is no fun yeah, forthose listening, I'm getting
ready to leave.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Saturday morning I'm going with a friend and they're
moving to arizona and Ivolunteered to help drive, so we
got a 3 000 mile road tripcoming up starting saturday and
how long do you think it'll takeyou to get there?
Oh, probably about four days.
That's 41 hours.
It's 41 hours of drivingBetween two of us.
(53:04):
We'll take shifts and we'llmake it less than four days.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (53:13):
I mean we can probably make it in two, it
depends.
Once you get rolling, you justgo gas, stop to gas, stop coffee
to coffee.
One sleeps and the other drives.
Before you know it, two dayslater, you're there.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Just be safe.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Thank you, I will, of course.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Just be safe.
Oh yeah, All the best.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
And how can people get to your podcast?
Speaker 1 (53:35):
I was just going to say that.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
Oh, wonderful.
Well, you can go to Spotify andjust Google or search what's
your Ripple.
Or you can go to Spotify andjust Google or search what's
your ripple.
Or you can go to my website,which is ripple-retreatcom and
please don't forget about thedash, because a dash connects
the retreat to the ripple andthe ripple to the retreat so
easily ripple-retreatcom.
(53:58):
And on the website it has linksto the website.
It also has links to resources.
It has links to my Wednesdaynight meeting and if you go
through the website and you feelcalled to support the Ripple
because Ripple Retreat hasbecome a cause it's not just me
(54:19):
anymore, it is a lot bigger thanme and if you want to be part
of something bigger than you,you can easily sign up to
volunteer.
You can go to what's called buyme a cup of love or buy a cup
of love, because I took buy me acoffee and changed it to buy a
cup of love and that money goesdirectly to me.
(54:42):
Building this.
I'm right now that I have ayoga studio that I'm attaching,
I'm putting a bathroom to, I'mbuilding a bathroom right next
to it so I can have recoverymeetings and then yoga and all
these events in this space.
I was missing a bathroom and itcosts money, so I've been
(55:03):
getting donations and thosedonations go directly to
building this retreat and he'sbeen doing the bathroom building
himself like he's doing thework.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
He's not spending the money hiring it out.
He's actually doing it, whichyou know.
There's a lot to be said aboutthat.
And if you go to the academywebsite any of the courses in
the valor circle and they aremaking their way into the
recovery as a collection youwill see um his website as well
and how you can get a hold ofhim.
(55:35):
All of his information willalso be on the show notes, so
you can see that there.
But he is all in the academy.
You can find him in there.
He is a member in there.
Everybody should support him.
Speaker 3 (55:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Can't wait for your class to come through the
website.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
The academy.
Speaker 3 (55:59):
I'm going to let JJ take us out because I love the
way he closes off a podcast.
I heard you do, I do.
I'll give a little bit ofbackstory to it.
My key to my sobriety islearning to love myself.
Love myself enough to keepmyself from doing bad things.
(56:20):
Love myself enough to not drinkto better my life.
And my tagline for RippleRetreat is to please pause.
Take time just to pause, loveyourself and be aware of your
ripple.
Speaker 1 (56:41):
It's that simple, that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (56:43):
Wow, yeah, it's so powerful because I mean, if you
are angry for example, road rageand you get to your destination
or you get home from work andyou've had a bad day at work, a
bad day, um, driving home, andyou get in the house and you're
just before you walk in thehouse, just pause for a minute
(57:04):
and love yourself for doing anamazing job at work and holding
yourself together or feel thefeelings or whatever, and then
be aware of that energy that youhave and that ripple you're
going to make.
Is it going to be a positiveone, or is it going to be a
negative one?
So it's just a nice reminder,really simple Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
Thank you, brother your evening to do this?
Speaker 3 (57:29):
yes, thank you so much for having me on.
It's been an honor and a joy.
I love you guys.
You're a lot of fun she's a funone yeah and together think of
the ripples we're making.
Speaker 1 (57:44):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (57:45):
Yeah, it's pretty cool, that's right.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
So happy 4th to everybody.
Speaker 3 (57:48):
Yes, happy 4th.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Thank you again for everybody who has served.
You are not forgotten and wewill not let you be forgotten.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
No, not at all.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Thank you for listening to Contagious Smile,
Unstoppable with Victoria,Michael and JJ.
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