July 9, 2025 • 41 mins
"You're not your diagnosis, you're not your condition." These powerful words come from Victoria, founder of A Contagious Smile and survivor of extreme domestic violence that has left her with titanium throughout her body, one arm amputated, and now facing complete deafness.
Victoria's story isn't just about survival—it's about transformation. After enduring over 100 surgeries resulting from brutal abuse during her pregnancy 19 years ago, she channeled her trauma into creating a platform that advocates for special needs families and domestic violence survivors. Despite ongoing medical interventions that would break most people's spirit, Victoria refuses to succumb to bitterness or self-pity. Instead, she asks the profound question: "How much more do I have to give?" not as a complaint, but as a testament to her resilience.
The newly launched Contagious Smile Academy represents the culmination of Victoria's mission—providing affordable and often free resources to those navigating similar challenges. With specialized tracks for special needs children (the "Stucco Squad"), parents seeking advocacy tools, abuse survivors, veterans, and even social media training, the academy embodies Victoria's belief that "healing shouldn't come with a price tag." Every $5 donation provides a scholarship for someone who desperately needs these resources.
What makes Victoria's message so compelling is her authenticity. She doesn't sugarcoat the physical and emotional toll of her journey, yet she maintains her sense of humor, asking her surgeon to install "USB ports" so she could charge her many prosthetic devices. Her greatest fear isn't losing more physical abilities—it's losing her family. This perspective shift challenges us all to consider: what truly matters in life when everything else is stripped away?
Join us for our upcoming webinar featuring remarkable speakers who've overcome incredible adversity, or visit acontagioussmile.mn.co to explore the academy and support our mission. Because as Victoria reminds us, we're not promised tomorrow, but we can choose how we spend today—and transforming pain into purpose is the most contagious smile of all.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
howdy y'all.
This is michael from acontagious smile, unstoppable.
I'm here with victoria and this, this short segment may be, may
be short, may be long, I don'tknow, but it's um, I'm gonna let
my wife vent.
Okay, she has every god-givenright to vent, uh, because of
(00:23):
the hell that she's been through, the hell that people have put
her through.
So, if y'all know anythingabout my wife, she started this
business a contagious smile,advocating for special needs
families and domestic violencesurvivors approximately 19 years
ago, when she suffered under anabuser for approximately eight
(00:49):
months thereabouts and veryabusive, very aggressive, did so
so much damage to my wife that20 years later, she is still
getting treatment, surgeriesfrom the trauma that she
(01:09):
suffered.
Uh, y'all, get on amazon andresearch.
Look up my wife's name,victoria cure, and go grab her
book who kicked first?
It will tell you an in-depthstory of what she went through
and how she survived and why.
Okay, um, it really, it reallyputs a lot of pieces into place.
(01:33):
Uh, if you're not familiar, ifyou haven't been following along
with a contagious smile, um, onfacebook or any of the social
medias or just our podcast.
So, needless to say, my wifewent through hell during her
pregnancy with our daughter, ourbeautiful daughter, and she, if
(01:58):
you ever ask why, why did shestay?
Why did she put up with thisshit love?
Okay, it was.
It was her love for ourdaughter, okay.
So I'm gonna let her vent.
Okay, I'm she.
(02:18):
She got some bad news.
Um, here today.
We've had worse news before,but you before.
But it just keeps adding up, itkeeps piling up and you got to
wonder when does it stop, whendoes it end?
Our daughter said it one timehow much more do I have to give
Our daughter?
(02:39):
Our 18-year-old daughter saidthis while she was going through
major surgery.
For the five weeks we were inthe hospital, how much more do I
have to give?
They took most of her lowerintestines, they took her
gallbladder, they took half herstomach.
They did a hysterectomy.
She has a scar from growing upto the middle of her chest and
(03:03):
she was on on the ventilator,the life support and dialysis.
So many tubes and pumps.
And you know you have two polesholding so many pumps.
You know that that's, it's much.
So she, she stated you know howmuch more can I give?
And you know my wife's got tobe screaming this, she's got to
(03:27):
be.
How much more do I have to give?
Why is it me?
Okay, now you can, you know,quote the Bible and say all the
time that you know God doesn'tgive you more than he knows you
cannot handle.
And you can reference joe, butyou know, this is, this is home
(03:51):
for me, folks.
This is not something I readabout on the news, it's not
something I hear on the radio.
This is home.
This is my wife, my daughter,my family, my wife's just
sitting here staring at me.
So go ahead.
(04:12):
I'm trying not to let the pollenget to me, y'all, but this is
hard.
She's already lost an arm.
You know she has titanium jawbecause of this son of a bitch
Jaws.
She had her shoulder replacedher hip and then we had to
(04:37):
amputate her left arm because ofall this, you know.
And she was a master of signlanguage.
I don't know what you call it,but whatever, she had a master's
in sign language and now she'salmost 100 deaf in both her ears
.
She's 100 deaf in one ear and80 to 95 in the other ear, and
(04:57):
it's just.
You know, how much more doesshe have to give?
Y'all?
I don't know what we're gonnado if she goes completely deaf
and I can't sign.
I'm just a dumb redneck and mywife's gonna try to sign
one-handed and then our daughtercan sign, but I don't know
y'all she.
I'm gonna let her vent, I think, because I'm done.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You're not done.
You're not done.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Here's the lovely Victoria.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It's not so lovely.
It's not so lovely.
You know, my biggest fear isnot what else can they take from
me now, it is the loss of youand my daughter, because I
wanted to give up, I wanted todie back then.
But then I feel these littlekicks that remind me that I'm
(05:49):
not alone.
And I felt so selfish because Ijust didn't want to do it
anymore and I used to emulatethis feeling where I would run
my hand on my face like you do,and I could never get that
feeling to come back the waythat it came when you would do
it Like it was.
I couldn't authenticate it andI kept saying if I do this and I
(06:15):
give up, I'll never see youagain.
And that was a huge fear.
And I made a deal with thedevil.
I what I did.
I said if you don't hurt her, Iwon't fight you back.
Because one of the very firstthings you learn in any martial
art training is to de-escalate asituation.
(06:36):
And when someone is straddlingover you in the middle of the
night, punching you in the face,calling you every nasty name in
the book because they'rethirsty and they're waking you
up to go, have you go, get themsomething you know you can't
de-escalate right then and there.
So it's hard when your ownbiological DNA pending family
(07:00):
say why would you stay?
Why didn't you leave?
I would never let this happento me.
How could you let this happen?
That's a hard one to swallow aswell, and the one thing I
refused to allow is to allow allof the negativity and all of
(07:25):
the, the, the breaking that it'scaused to literally turn me
into one of them, and I can'ttell you that it's not hard,
because it would be so mucheasier just to throw my hands up
(07:46):
and say I don't care anymore.
But then they win and I willnot give them that much power.
I won't do it.
When I look at you and I look atour daughter, I can't fathom
doing that, because everythingI've wanted since I was a little
girl is is in our home now.
I knew the day I met you thatyou were my soulmate.
(08:07):
I have never wavered away fromthat.
I knew I wanted to be a momeven when you and I first dated
25 it, and to literally be toldit was not this year, last year,
(08:33):
on an OR table, that my surgeoncame in and said what's your
new year's resolution?
And I said to stay off an ORtable and he gently put his hand
on my shoulder and said whydon't you make a new year's
resolution you can obtain?
That was really hard because andto clarify my husband can
(08:54):
contest to this is that when Igo in for surgery, I don't do
verset, I don't do anything foranxiety prior to being taken
back, and I go into the OR and Ipersonally thank every single
person in the room for beingthere and ask them to take care
of me so that I can get back tomy family.
And my husband will tell you Icame home from my amputation the
(09:16):
same day.
Yes, they kept me longer inpost-op, but I came home the
same day when both my jaws werereplaced.
It was a.
I came home the same day whenboth my jaws were replaced.
It was a.
It was from morning to latenight surgery and I came home
the same day.
And any of my surgeries whichis well over a hundred I've
never taken a single painmedication.
And my husband's asked me youknow, please, I can't stand
(09:38):
seeing you sit here in this muchpain.
And I told him no because Ihave a child who depends on me
and needs me in my medicaltraining at the blink of an eye.
And I refused.
Not only that, but after ahundred plus surgeries I would
be in a very different place ifI was always taking pain
medication and I need to beready at any moment to help her.
(10:02):
And I can't do that if I'munder the influence, so my
husband constantly would be.
You know I'm right here.
I mean right or wrong.
I would never yes.
I would never take anything andI would sit up all night with
just so much pain.
You know, like when I wasstabbed over a dozen times, and
(10:23):
the mockery of it is, we hadsomeone the other day say, oh, I
stabbed my finger cutting abagel and I had to get three or
four stitches.
And I was like, oh, I had 400stitches when I was stabbed and
I did it without anythingbecause I didn't want to affect
the baby, I didn't want it toaffect Faith.
And this was the same personwho told me you shouldn't have
stayed, you deserved it, we knewabout it, but we didn't it.
(10:45):
But we didn't offer you refuge.
We didn't offer you refuge, wedidn't offer to pull you out.
Well, lately and I want toapologize to all of our
listeners and I haven't reallybeen vocal about it lately or
really said anything to anyonemy speech is becoming affected
and I had a long talk with avery special surgeon today that
(11:06):
works with head trauma.
He does surgeries that a lot ofsurgeons won't touch because of
the traumatic injury to theskull and the brain and I asked
him.
I said I specifically know Isaid one specific name last
night and multiple people saidthat's not what I said and I
know what I said.
I'm pretty sure I know what Isaid and everybody's like no,
(11:28):
that's, that's not what you saidand I'm messing up.
I have a wonderful person whowas just on the other day and I
messed up his last name.
I heard it different so Irepeated it different and I had
to apologize and I opened up andexplained why I Kurt Wagner I
(11:49):
just did it again it's KurtWarner was and is an amazing
human being who has overcome sovery much.
And he wrote me back and saidI'm so sorry, but my last name
is Warner.
And you said Wagner and I saidoh my God, I'm so sorry and he
is doing the webinar this Sunday.
But I explained why.
(12:11):
And when I was on the phone withmy surgeon today, um, I told
him what I was doing and he saidthat that is a hundred percent
expected and normal that youmight hear blue and you might.
Somebody might say blue and youhear clue.
Um, I read lips.
I, I do that.
I always tell people because Idon't want to make them
uncomfortable.
It's like why is she staring atmy mouth?
(12:32):
I cannot wear my hearing aidsright now because it throws off
my equilibrium because of theimpact of the other side.
But for the surgeon who reallydid go above and beyond today to
say to me the you know, we justlooked at all these.
I have to have special imagingbecause my whole body is metal.
And you say God doesn't giveyou more than you can handle.
(12:54):
Well, that's probably why I'vehad two spinal surgeries and I
have titanium in my spine now.
Ha ha ha.
Right, I have to make light ofeverything.
I think I would be very upsetif I didn't but you should be
upset.
I am upset, but I'm not going togo into a depression.
I tell women all the time thatI talk with you are not
depressed.
Here's the difference.
You lose someone you love,right, you're very sad over the
(13:18):
loss of a loved one.
That doesn't mean you're goingthrough depression.
It's a situational situation.
You know thing.
It's like if when I lost mygolden retriever that I had
growing up, I was devastated, Iwas sad, I was angry.
It doesn't mean I was depressed.
It means I was going through atime which of genuine sadness
(13:39):
and despair because I lostsomeone who meant the world to
me.
Right, that doesn't mean thatI'm depressed and nowadays
everybody's like oh, you have amental health issue, oh, here's
pills, you know, and that's notit.
You have a bad day, somebodycuts you off.
You have the right to be angry.
That doesn't mean that you haveanger issues and doesn't mean
you need to go to angermanagement, right, it's
situational and that's thedifference.
(14:00):
So he explained to me that hecan't fathom how hard the impact
had to constantly be for me tohave ruptured my eardrums so
badly that we've even donesurgery to replace the eardrums
(14:25):
and those have failed, that theinside is shattered so badly
that we are in the process ofscheduling what's called a state
stitch down and they take outthe eardrum and all of the stuff
inside.
It's kind of like looking at apiece of art on a wall.
You look at it you're like, ohokay, it's there but it really
(14:47):
has no function.
And so my ear will be basicallya piece of art on a very
scarred face that has nofunction.
And just like when I gotamputated or I was told I was
getting my arm amputated thevery first thought I had was
fear that my husband would leaveme arm amputated the very first
thought I had was fear that myhusband would leave me.
(15:07):
Never, that was.
My huge fear was you were gonnaleave me.
Why would you want somebody whois this disabled person and I
don't believe in the worddisabled, I don't believe in the
word disability because there'snothing we can't do.
We just do it different.
Right, I can tie my shoes, Ican open a pill bottle, I can
open a bottle.
I just do it differently.
(15:27):
We all do it differently.
And but that's not my fear.
My fear was not losing my arm,it was losing my family.
And it's hard, it's tough, andif I gave up and quit now, I
would be no different than I was19 years ago.
And I've done no healing,really in a way because I want
(15:53):
to be there for others so thatthey're not going to go through
what I went through by myself,you know.
And then I went to the grocerystore and I wanted to walk
around because I thought, okay,if I'm walking around the store
and I have faith with me will begood.
And I saw the cutest littlegirl and she had down syndrome
and she's so beautiful and I waslike, okay, I get it, I see my
(16:15):
sign.
And I looked at her and I waslike she was with her mom.
Her mom was on the phone, notpaying or paying attention to
her.
She had to be like three and Iwas like you are gorgeous and I
love your dress.
And she tried to tell me thankyou, and I was like that dress
is beautiful, but I think youmake it beautiful.
And her mom just lit up and Iwas like you are so adorable and
(16:38):
it was just.
It's what I do.
I don't even think about it.
I always do this right and Ialways, just one time a day, say
something nice to somebodyBecause it doesn't cost you a
thing but it makes their day.
You don't know what they'regoing through.
You don't know if that littlegirl just came back from a
pediatric, neurologist orwhatever the case may be, or
(16:59):
maybe on the way.
You don't know.
I mean, nobody knew that.
You know I had this appointment, but to see that little girl
smile was just so life'schanging for that moment.
And you know, you go through andyou realize, like people in my
life and I've heard this sooften they they walk in, they
(17:22):
say, oh, okay, well, what canshe do for me?
And then they tail it out, andit has happened so more many
times that I even want to admitand it sucks, and you know what
I'd rather you do it to me ahundred times over and then do
it to my girl or my husband um,because I have the thicker skin,
I can take it, but to.
To do it to my girl or myhusband um, because I have the
thicker skin, I can take it.
(17:43):
But to to do it to my family isunforgivable, and it I mean it
even happened yesterday again bysomeone that I thought of as a
friend and it was what can youdo for me?
And then to hell with you.
And the thing is is that and I'mnot patting myself on the on
the back, and I know my husbandwill will agree when I say that
(18:05):
but it's like I found out thatif I'm driving my vehicle and my
daughter's sitting beside me, Ican't hear her talk to me.
I can't hear her if the airconditioner's on.
I can't hear her.
If the music is is on.
I can't hear her if the musicis on.
And I already went two and ahalf years without hearing her
(18:26):
because she had a tracheostomywhen she was little to save her
life and I want every word, Iwant every sentence, I want
every sound.
And to be driving and not beable to even hear her when she's
talking to me, then people areso shallow that they are mad
that they want you to give andgive and give.
(18:47):
And then to hell with you whenyou realize that it's not a
two-way street, that they're nottrue friends and they don't
need you anymore.
But the minute they do, they'regoing to come back.
They won't apologize forreentering, they're just going
to say they need something andthen they'll do it again and
again.
And what really gets me is,while all this is going on, I
(19:11):
mean you won't hear me say Ican't.
My husband will tell you.
I've never laid in the bed allday and just said you know, I'm
not doing it anymore, I quit,I'm just going to give up, not
whatever.
But I come home from surgeryand I go right back to work.
I'll stay up till 12 or 1o'clock in the morning and I'm
working.
(19:31):
And then I get text messages 1,2 o'clock in the morning and
I'm answering them.
And then I'm posting at 4 inthe morning, five in the morning
, six in the morning, and Inever tell anybody.
Hey, I need a day, right, Idon't have a day off in the week
, I don't.
I work seven days a week.
I don't ask anybody for a dayoff.
I've been to court to helpfamilies when I'm one day
(19:54):
post-op and I have a temporarydevice, like tape, to my back
which I'm allergic to the thetape.
And I'm literally in courttestifying for the safety and
security of kids.
But nobody ever hears mecomplain, because I'm here for a
reason and I know what mypurpose is.
The reason that we're talkingabout this is because on sunday
(20:18):
we're doing a webinar and thewebinar has some of the most
amazing human beings talkingabout their stories and what
they have done.
And these are amazing people.
And we're doing this because wehave launched a Contagious
Smile Academy and you can go toA Contagious Smile, so
A-C-O-N-T-A-G-I-O-U-S-S-M-I-L-E,dot M, as in Mary and as in
(20:44):
Nancy, dot com, dot C-O.
So A Contagious Smile, dot M-N,dot C-O.
And you can go and explore andlook.
We have well over 100 differentclasses.
They're very low cost if notfree.
They're very low cost if notfree, and these are classes that
I've had evaluated that areworth anywhere from $99 to $599.
(21:06):
And they cover any and everyone, whether you're a special needs
kiddo.
And we have our stucco squadthat talk all about how amazing
and beautiful you are and evenif, like you can't go outside,
we have a course about makingthe best for the inside and
having an amazing summer inside.
Um courses about self-esteem,self-worth, bullying, you name
(21:28):
it, it's there.
Then we have stuff for mamasand daddies of special needs
kids and how they can, you know,have help.
I am an advocate.
I'm also an ie advocate.
I've written a book that I'veturned into a course about the
IEP armor and it gives detailsthat nobody else knows about
(21:49):
going in there and your rightsand what they don't want you to
know.
And also we have the LimitlessRecovery Tribe, which is for
anyone going through any type ofrecovery.
My husband and I are both inrecovery from abuse.
People don't think that'srecovery, but it absolutely is.
There's things in there.
There's things in there forpeople who have CRPS.
(22:11):
There's things in there forpeople who have STEM routers and
things like that.
I believe laughter is the bestmedicine and when you go to the
doctor that's why it's calledpractice you know you're
practicing medicine, butlaughter is the best, and so I
have courses in there called myButt is on Bluetooth and there's
courses in there that are justdownright freaking, stupid funny
(22:32):
, that are going to make youlaugh and make you forget
everything else.
Like the surgeon, I asked himto put in a USB port so that I
could just charge on my bodyparts, and I told him, you know,
as I get older, I'm literallyjust going to need a WD-40 wash
because and I did ask him, Isaid so when I say my birthday,
should I say I'm really onlylike 10, because all my body
(22:53):
parts are new, right, and it'sjust you.
You have to put a smile on yourface about it.
But the webinar, you know thetickets are free.
You can come in there and andget some advice you would never
get anywhere else.
They we do have it, for you caneither get free tickets or
tickets for five dollars, andthat five dollars goes to
(23:16):
provide a scholarship foranybody.
We even have the veteran circlefor active and retired veterans
and these classes are amazing.
We have the safe haven Phoenixcenter for anybody recovering in
abuse, and then we have oursocial media, which is how we
(23:37):
went from zero to millions offollowers from years of training
and courses and classes and I'mour marketing team.
We don't have anybody else.
We do this in our tiny office.
My husband and I've never takena paycheck.
We've been doing this all onour own.
But these scholarships arethere to help provide.
So if somebody reaches out tome and says I can't pay, that's
(23:59):
all they have to say and I'mgoing to make sure they get the
classes they need.
But it costs a lot for us tokeep afloat the platforms and
running all of it and adding innew material, and I tried to add
a course a week, but it seemsas if I'm doing that a day
Because I just enjoy knowingthat I'm putting a smile on
(24:20):
someone else's face, which ishow a contagious smile started,
because myself and Faith arecranial facial kiddos now and
every smile is different andI'll tell stories, and so it's
tough.
It's really tough.
You can go to Eventbrite andyou can also also look on our
website and you can look onsocial media and you can join us
(24:43):
.
And if you can't join us, thengo to a contagious smilecom and
in the right corner it says buyme a coffee.
I'm going to change that heresoon to provide a scholarship,
but right now it's buy me acoffee and when you click on it,
it's called Transformative andit shows you how you're helping.
I mean, look at the statisticsy'all.
It's one in four women.
(25:04):
So if you are a woman yourself,you have a daughter, you have a
sister and you have a mom, onein four are going to go through
some type of abuse in their life, and nobody should have to
endure this alone no one.
And when they feel they have noone, we're going to make sure
they don't feel that.
And then you don't knowtomorrow.
I mean, I had no idea.
(25:25):
One day I had my arm and thenext day I didn't.
And I had my hearing and thenext day I didn't.
And it's literally like youdon't know what's coming.
And it's $5, and not even aHappy Meal is affordable at $5
anymore.
Everything is so much moremoney than that and we have set
it up where literally $5 willcover a course for someone who
(25:50):
desperately needs it.
And that's what we're trying todo.
We're not trying to get rich onthis and get a mansion or
anything like that.
We're very subtle.
We're just country folk in alittle country home with our
family and dogs and doing thisout of our office, and we just
(26:10):
want to pay it forward and helpothers and that's what we try to
do, and it's as raw as it gets.
We are as raw as it gets and Iwant people to see that they're
not alone.
I mean literally.
I sat there today and thoughtabout it.
If you take a calendar that has365 days in it and you average
(26:31):
out, I've had a surgeryliterally on average every three
days.
If you think about it that way,when I look at memories on
Facebook that come up, I'vealmost to the point stopped,
because it always says pleasepray for my husband and child
while I'm going back into the ORagain.
And it's almost daily that Isee that for one year or another
(26:52):
year or another year, and it'sconstant and I'm honored and
thrilled that it's me because Idon't want my husband or
daughter to go through it.
But we shouldn't have to gothrough it at all, especially
when these pieces of shit arewalking around without a scratch
or mark on them.
I have never sought, you know,revenge on him.
(27:12):
It's not mine to give.
I mean, I am human, I'd like tohear about it.
I'm not, I'll own what I do.
I'm not trying to say I, Idon't, I don't know any woman
that wouldn't.
I'd like to hear it, but I willnot be a party of it.
I won't be.
Um, you know I've testified incourt that I would never seek
him out or go to his place ofresidency or his place of
(27:34):
employment, and I won't.
I won't because he doesn't holdthat power over me and I'll
never let him have it well, Iwould like a little john wick
revenge well, I don't want anymore time of my life without you
in it yeah, but y'all, I wantedus to come on and do this.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I figured it'd be kind of quick, but I have
diarrhea in the mouth.
I know, you see, that this,this, this woman, this warrior,
she's been in the trenches y'all.
She's a strong survivor.
She knows what she's talkingabout because she's been there.
Okay, I don't know, maybe you'rethere now, maybe you just got
(28:15):
out of it, I don't know yoursituation, but she has every
right to be furious, to befuming, mad, to go into
depression, to start poppingpills, to drink her life away,
but she doesn't.
She doesn't.
She has a greater purpose.
She has a big, big fat heart,and that's not a fat joke, but
(28:40):
she's got a big heart.
She loves me, our daughter, ourdog, and she loves dogs it's
plural.
She loves helping others.
So if anyone, if anyone outthere, ever thought that she was
a fraud or a fake or a phonyman, you're wrong, wrong.
This is the real deal and we'renot throwing a pity party for
(29:05):
her, but dang it y'all.
She has.
She has a right to, to vent.
Okay, I'm sure y'all, y'allhave done the same thing.
You know you.
You went into the closet andscreamed your head off, and you
know why me, why me well, I, Ijust want to say I didn't
necessarily want to vent per se.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
It's the fact that I want people who are
unfortunately and I wish thatthey weren't going through
anything to realize they're notalone.
I mean, they're not alone, youknow, and I'm so sorry for every
single thing that you're goingthrough.
One hit, one punch, one kicks,one too many.
It's not acceptable.
It's not a contest as to oh, Ican't talk to her.
(29:47):
She's been hit hundreds oftimes.
Right, that's, it's not thesame, I don't care, it's one,
it's one too many.
Nobody should put their hands onyou in an unwarranted manner.
Or to the, the special needsparent that sits there and wants
answers and gets five minuteswith the doctor, and I know, and
my husband knows, that other 23hours and 55 minutes is nothing
(30:09):
less than hell.
It absolutely is absolute sheerhell.
And the doctor goes to theirgolf game and goes to their
five-star restaurants and goeshome to their family, and good
for them, but they don't knowwhat it's like.
They don't, you know.
And to a lot of them that's apatient, a case, and they'll say
(30:29):
you know, tell us this case,tell us what the you know.
And it's not.
That's my daughter, that's my,you know that's your son
(31:01):
no-transcript.
Or to a parent of a specialneeds child who is people don't
understand.
I mean you have parking that'slike 14 $15 a time and then you
have, you know, co-pays atdoctors and then you have
medications and there's so manymedications that a lot of kids
(31:24):
have to go on.
And you know if you have afeeding tube, there's feeding
supplies and how we do it andyou have to have your
temperature of your home acertain way.
And then if you have atracheostomy or you have kids
with grandma seizures and youhave to implement all the safety
protocols and all of the otherfactors and you have to have an
emergency bag everywhere you goand and you know, you always
live on that high alert, readyto go adrenaline, because you
(31:46):
feel like if you bring yourselfdown and something happens
you'll blame yourself.
Then you don't have that extramoney to get the help that you
deserve.
Not, you need you and healingshouldn't come with a price tag.
It just shouldn't.
It's not fair.
The people who make the moneyare out there, you know, driving
(32:07):
their expensive cars.
I mean, we're just simple folkdown here.
If people knew economicallywhere I used to be and where I
used to come from.
I'm not that person.
Even then I wasn't that person.
I was like the black sheep inevery possible scenario.
But we're asking people justeven for a cup of coffee, a $5
(32:31):
donation because, if God forbid,you came to me and said, hey, I
need help, you're going to getit.
It's no questions asked.
I'm not going to humiliate youand say show me proof or
anything like that.
The courses are there to helpand to provide.
And then we have resourcelibrary in there.
It's free to join.
Come in there and look.
(32:51):
I don't think I've met a singleperson that there's not
something in there for right.
I mean, if you're someone whowants to learn how to podcast or
you want to learn how to growyour following, there's courses
in there for that.
Now, they're not as cheap as$4.99, but you go online
anywhere and they are hundredsof dollars a piece and we don't
(33:12):
have a single course anywherenear that cost.
And the thing is is that we'vedone it ourselves.
I mean, we can show our numbers.
You know, we are globallyranked.
We have gotten three globalawards, three global awards just
this month.
And it's because we're real,we're authentic, we are what you
(33:32):
see and some people can'tmanage that and that is not on
us and you know it would be somuch easier just to be cold and
shallow and put up a wall and tohell with everyone else.
But then to me it makes me nodifferent than them and I can't
be that person and I don't wantmy daughter to see that person
and she damn sure doesn'tdeserve that person.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Right.
I want to thank you for sharing, being very open with the
listeners thank you for yourpollen there was a little pollen
in the room.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Well, how is it for you as a spouse, because I think
a lot of people would want toknow um you're not skirting that
you know typical male?
No, you are not a typical male.
Dig a hole.
You already have one built youknow and run an iv.
You know this is recorded.
(34:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
How do you feel going through and seeing time after
time that's what I'm talkingabout like don't do anything
incriminating, I'm not the factthat you're losing more now
because of the past and whathappened to you and what was
(34:51):
allowed to happen, um, it, youknow it.
It makes me love you morebecause I'm going to be here
with you through the whole thing.
Whether they have the surgery,whether they they whatever, take
down your ear and you're 100%deaf in there, and then the
(35:15):
other ear you can barely hearout of, in there, and then the
other ear you can barely hearout of and you have one arm and
you, you, you can halfway signand I can't sign it all.
And then you know excuse me,the the problem with the speech
I'm still going to be here.
We have an amazing daughter.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
She's going to help me, so well, they are saying I
need cochlear implants and ofcourse my insurance doesn't
cover it yeah, they're like 300grand just for the the surgery
and the device.
Yeah, and the warranty lastsonly five years on the on the
device and it's anotherprosthetic device implanted,
(35:56):
like I don't have enough andyeah, I just had to charge her
up literally last night.
Yeah, my back has to be charged.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Excuse me, I have this, this disc that I place on
her on her skin.
Uh well, she wears her pajamas,so I place on the outside of
her pajamas and and it chargesher stem router.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah, but then you have to hook up the hearing aids
and then you have to hook uplike this.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's crazy, you know, my wife's becoming an iPhone or
something now.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I think I've surpassed that.
I do.
I mean it's crazy, it is.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Anyway, y'all keep following, keep listening, keep
sharing and um please supportyou know the webinar.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
It's it literally and you know what?
There's so many things outthere.
Right now we have a camp stuccosquad, which is my service dog,
stucco, and my beautiful sweetbaby, uh, golden retriever.
He's red, he is just amazing.
And there's all these amazingfun courses and all of the
courses have bonus things behindthem where you could see fun
(37:06):
things that most people don'tthink about doing, because we've
been through it.
Between my daughter and I Ithink we've had every specialist
, literally, and it's kind of arunning joke that if you take a
picture of the human body, ofthe skeleton, there's not an
area of it that I have not hadsurgery on and you go through it
and you look at that and it'sjust like we get it and if we
(37:31):
can bring just one smile, onelaughter, one moment where they
are no longer consumed withtheir diagnosis, because you're
not your diagnosis, you are notyour condition, and for a moment
, if you're like right now, Ifelt like everything was just on
top of me again and you go inthere to one of the classes and
(37:55):
you pull up my butt is onBluetooth, you know, and it
talks about how you know Ishould be getting free HBO with
this or something of that nature, and it just makes you laugh
for a second.
That second, you forget thatyou're not a diagnosis, that
you're not a condition, becauseyou're not either one.
And you are so much strongerthan you think and that's the
one thing that we really don'tgive ourself enough credit for
(38:15):
is our strength, and especiallymamas of these kiddos.
These kiddos are my inspiration.
When I see their strength andthe just tenacity of them, it
just makes me want to look atpeople who are so judgmental
(38:36):
about things.
And now, everywhere you go,people like what is wrong with
people?
You just want to look at peopleand say what is wrong with you.
You know, and we won't saywhere.
But last night we had dinner ata restaurant and the guy made a
comment about my disability.
And I was just dumbfounded thatsomebody would just so free and
clearly make a comment about Idon't see me as a disabled, I
(39:02):
just do things different.
And for him to have looked atme and make a comment of my
disability was just absolutelyuncalled for.
And I said well, you know, thatkind of warrants is a bad
review.
And he was like, oh, it's notthe first time I've had one,
I'll just lie about it like I doon the others.
And you know I thought about hehad to be the owner's kid or
something he has to be.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
But I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
I mean just, it just dumbfounds me how some people
you know, like I grew up with,like the grandparents mentality,
where it was, I'll hold a dooropen and wait and make everybody
mad along the way, but I'mgoing to hold that door open for
that person who's older, comingthrough.
And it's yes, sir, yes, ma'am,and you don't have to say that.
You don't have to say it, yes,I do.
You know, I tell people all thetime.
(39:47):
You know my grandparents wouldget me from up there if I showed
disrespect down here.
And that's the truth.
And what the hell has happened?
People don't even care anymore.
They sit at a table.
You go to a restaurant, lookaround.
Nobody's talking to each other.
Everybody's eye deep down intheir phone.
You know, if you wanted to havea conversation with whomever is
on the other end of that phone,invite them to freaking dinner,
(40:10):
right?
You're sitting there at dinner.
You've gone out.
You're spending yourhard-earned money with the
people that are supposed to beyour frontline and you're not
even speaking to them, right?
You don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow.
You're not promised tomorrow,but you know what, in five years
, is that person that you werechatting with?
Are they even going to bearound.
Are you going to remember it?
Here's the thing Ask yourselfif whatever is consuming you in
(40:34):
a negative way, is it going tobe around in a month, in six
months, in a year?
Is it going to be worth theconsumption of your everything
at this point in time?
Because it really isn't.
It's not worth it.
Please participate in thewebinar, check it out, support
it, share it, so that we cankeep doing what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I'm gonna let my husband take us out because he
he's just giving me this lookand don't forget y'all go find
out um about victoria and thehell that she went through
getting her first book offamazon who kicked first by
victoria cure.
I want to thank y'all forhaving patience and listening to
(41:15):
me and you know, listening tomy wife she's very real.
You know she's very raw andshe's got the biggest heart.
But I wanted to let her come onhere and do this so you can
send us comments, questions, butthank y'all for listening to A
Contagious Smile Signing off.
howdy y'all.
This is michael from acontagious smile, unstoppable.
I'm here with victoria and this, this short segment may be, may
be short, may be long, I don'tknow, but it's um, I'm gonna let
my wife vent.
Okay, she has every god-givenright to vent, uh, because of
(00:23):
the hell that she's been through, the hell that people have put
her through.
So, if y'all know anythingabout my wife, she started this
business a contagious smile,advocating for special needs
families and domestic violencesurvivors approximately 19 years
ago, when she suffered under anabuser for approximately eight
(00:49):
months thereabouts and veryabusive, very aggressive, did so
so much damage to my wife that20 years later, she is still
getting treatment, surgeriesfrom the trauma that she
(01:09):
suffered.
Uh, y'all, get on amazon andresearch.
Look up my wife's name,victoria cure, and go grab her
book who kicked first?
It will tell you an in-depthstory of what she went through
and how she survived and why.
Okay, um, it really, it reallyputs a lot of pieces into place.
(01:33):
Uh, if you're not familiar, ifyou haven't been following along
with a contagious smile, um, onfacebook or any of the social
medias or just our podcast.
So, needless to say, my wifewent through hell during her
pregnancy with our daughter, ourbeautiful daughter, and she, if
(01:58):
you ever ask why, why did shestay?
Why did she put up with thisshit love?
Okay, it was.
It was her love for ourdaughter, okay.
So I'm gonna let her vent.
Okay, I'm she.
(02:18):
She got some bad news.
Um, here today.
We've had worse news before,but you before.
But it just keeps adding up, itkeeps piling up and you got to
wonder when does it stop, whendoes it end?
Our daughter said it one timehow much more do I have to give
Our daughter?
(02:39):
Our 18-year-old daughter saidthis while she was going through
major surgery.
For the five weeks we were inthe hospital, how much more do I
have to give?
They took most of her lowerintestines, they took her
gallbladder, they took half herstomach.
They did a hysterectomy.
She has a scar from growing upto the middle of her chest and
(03:03):
she was on on the ventilator,the life support and dialysis.
So many tubes and pumps.
And you know you have two polesholding so many pumps.
You know that that's, it's much.
So she, she stated you know howmuch more can I give?
And you know my wife's got tobe screaming this, she's got to
(03:27):
be.
How much more do I have to give?
Why is it me?
Okay, now you can, you know,quote the Bible and say all the
time that you know God doesn'tgive you more than he knows you
cannot handle.
And you can reference joe, butyou know, this is, this is home
(03:51):
for me, folks.
This is not something I readabout on the news, it's not
something I hear on the radio.
This is home.
This is my wife, my daughter,my family, my wife's just
sitting here staring at me.
So go ahead.
(04:12):
I'm trying not to let the pollenget to me, y'all, but this is
hard.
She's already lost an arm.
You know she has titanium jawbecause of this son of a bitch
Jaws.
She had her shoulder replacedher hip and then we had to
(04:37):
amputate her left arm because ofall this, you know.
And she was a master of signlanguage.
I don't know what you call it,but whatever, she had a master's
in sign language and now she'salmost 100 deaf in both her ears
.
She's 100 deaf in one ear and80 to 95 in the other ear, and
(04:57):
it's just.
You know, how much more doesshe have to give?
Y'all?
I don't know what we're gonnado if she goes completely deaf
and I can't sign.
I'm just a dumb redneck and mywife's gonna try to sign
one-handed and then our daughtercan sign, but I don't know
y'all she.
I'm gonna let her vent, I think, because I'm done.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You're not done.
You're not done.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Here's the lovely Victoria.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It's not so lovely.
It's not so lovely.
You know, my biggest fear isnot what else can they take from
me now, it is the loss of youand my daughter, because I
wanted to give up, I wanted todie back then.
But then I feel these littlekicks that remind me that I'm
(05:49):
not alone.
And I felt so selfish because Ijust didn't want to do it
anymore and I used to emulatethis feeling where I would run
my hand on my face like you do,and I could never get that
feeling to come back the waythat it came when you would do
it Like it was.
I couldn't authenticate it andI kept saying if I do this and I
(06:15):
give up, I'll never see youagain.
And that was a huge fear.
And I made a deal with thedevil.
I what I did.
I said if you don't hurt her, Iwon't fight you back.
Because one of the very firstthings you learn in any martial
art training is to de-escalate asituation.
(06:36):
And when someone is straddlingover you in the middle of the
night, punching you in the face,calling you every nasty name in
the book because they'rethirsty and they're waking you
up to go, have you go, get themsomething you know you can't
de-escalate right then and there.
So it's hard when your ownbiological DNA pending family
(07:00):
say why would you stay?
Why didn't you leave?
I would never let this happento me.
How could you let this happen?
That's a hard one to swallow aswell, and the one thing I
refused to allow is to allow allof the negativity and all of
(07:25):
the, the, the breaking that it'scaused to literally turn me
into one of them, and I can'ttell you that it's not hard,
because it would be so mucheasier just to throw my hands up
(07:46):
and say I don't care anymore.
But then they win and I willnot give them that much power.
I won't do it.
When I look at you and I look atour daughter, I can't fathom
doing that, because everythingI've wanted since I was a little
girl is is in our home now.
I knew the day I met you thatyou were my soulmate.
(08:07):
I have never wavered away fromthat.
I knew I wanted to be a momeven when you and I first dated
25 it, and to literally be toldit was not this year, last year,
(08:33):
on an OR table, that my surgeoncame in and said what's your
new year's resolution?
And I said to stay off an ORtable and he gently put his hand
on my shoulder and said whydon't you make a new year's
resolution you can obtain?
That was really hard because andto clarify my husband can
(08:54):
contest to this is that when Igo in for surgery, I don't do
verset, I don't do anything foranxiety prior to being taken
back, and I go into the OR and Ipersonally thank every single
person in the room for beingthere and ask them to take care
of me so that I can get back tomy family.
And my husband will tell you Icame home from my amputation the
(09:16):
same day.
Yes, they kept me longer inpost-op, but I came home the
same day when both my jaws werereplaced.
It was a.
I came home the same day whenboth my jaws were replaced.
It was a.
It was from morning to latenight surgery and I came home
the same day.
And any of my surgeries whichis well over a hundred I've
never taken a single painmedication.
And my husband's asked me youknow, please, I can't stand
(09:38):
seeing you sit here in this muchpain.
And I told him no because Ihave a child who depends on me
and needs me in my medicaltraining at the blink of an eye.
And I refused.
Not only that, but after ahundred plus surgeries I would
be in a very different place ifI was always taking pain
medication and I need to beready at any moment to help her.
(10:02):
And I can't do that if I'munder the influence, so my
husband constantly would be.
You know I'm right here.
I mean right or wrong.
I would never yes.
I would never take anything andI would sit up all night with
just so much pain.
You know, like when I wasstabbed over a dozen times, and
(10:23):
the mockery of it is, we hadsomeone the other day say, oh, I
stabbed my finger cutting abagel and I had to get three or
four stitches.
And I was like, oh, I had 400stitches when I was stabbed and
I did it without anythingbecause I didn't want to affect
the baby, I didn't want it toaffect Faith.
And this was the same personwho told me you shouldn't have
stayed, you deserved it, we knewabout it, but we didn't it.
(10:45):
But we didn't offer you refuge.
We didn't offer you refuge, wedidn't offer to pull you out.
Well, lately and I want toapologize to all of our
listeners and I haven't reallybeen vocal about it lately or
really said anything to anyonemy speech is becoming affected
and I had a long talk with avery special surgeon today that
(11:06):
works with head trauma.
He does surgeries that a lot ofsurgeons won't touch because of
the traumatic injury to theskull and the brain and I asked
him.
I said I specifically know Isaid one specific name last
night and multiple people saidthat's not what I said and I
know what I said.
I'm pretty sure I know what Isaid and everybody's like no,
(11:28):
that's, that's not what you saidand I'm messing up.
I have a wonderful person whowas just on the other day and I
messed up his last name.
I heard it different so Irepeated it different and I had
to apologize and I opened up andexplained why I Kurt Wagner I
(11:49):
just did it again it's KurtWarner was and is an amazing
human being who has overcome sovery much.
And he wrote me back and saidI'm so sorry, but my last name
is Warner.
And you said Wagner and I saidoh my God, I'm so sorry and he
is doing the webinar this Sunday.
But I explained why.
(12:11):
And when I was on the phone withmy surgeon today, um, I told
him what I was doing and he saidthat that is a hundred percent
expected and normal that youmight hear blue and you might.
Somebody might say blue and youhear clue.
Um, I read lips.
I, I do that.
I always tell people because Idon't want to make them
uncomfortable.
It's like why is she staring atmy mouth?
(12:32):
I cannot wear my hearing aidsright now because it throws off
my equilibrium because of theimpact of the other side.
But for the surgeon who reallydid go above and beyond today to
say to me the you know, we justlooked at all these.
I have to have special imagingbecause my whole body is metal.
And you say God doesn't giveyou more than you can handle.
(12:54):
Well, that's probably why I'vehad two spinal surgeries and I
have titanium in my spine now.
Ha ha ha.
Right, I have to make light ofeverything.
I think I would be very upsetif I didn't but you should be
upset.
I am upset, but I'm not going togo into a depression.
I tell women all the time thatI talk with you are not
depressed.
Here's the difference.
You lose someone you love,right, you're very sad over the
(13:18):
loss of a loved one.
That doesn't mean you're goingthrough depression.
It's a situational situation.
You know thing.
It's like if when I lost mygolden retriever that I had
growing up, I was devastated, Iwas sad, I was angry.
It doesn't mean I was depressed.
It means I was going through atime which of genuine sadness
(13:39):
and despair because I lostsomeone who meant the world to
me.
Right, that doesn't mean thatI'm depressed and nowadays
everybody's like oh, you have amental health issue, oh, here's
pills, you know, and that's notit.
You have a bad day, somebodycuts you off.
You have the right to be angry.
That doesn't mean that you haveanger issues and doesn't mean
you need to go to angermanagement, right, it's
situational and that's thedifference.
(14:00):
So he explained to me that hecan't fathom how hard the impact
had to constantly be for me tohave ruptured my eardrums so
badly that we've even donesurgery to replace the eardrums
(14:25):
and those have failed, that theinside is shattered so badly
that we are in the process ofscheduling what's called a state
stitch down and they take outthe eardrum and all of the stuff
inside.
It's kind of like looking at apiece of art on a wall.
You look at it you're like, ohokay, it's there but it really
(14:47):
has no function.
And so my ear will be basicallya piece of art on a very
scarred face that has nofunction.
And just like when I gotamputated or I was told I was
getting my arm amputated thevery first thought I had was
fear that my husband would leaveme arm amputated the very first
thought I had was fear that myhusband would leave me.
(15:07):
Never, that was.
My huge fear was you were gonnaleave me.
Why would you want somebody whois this disabled person and I
don't believe in the worddisabled, I don't believe in the
word disability because there'snothing we can't do.
We just do it different.
Right, I can tie my shoes, Ican open a pill bottle, I can
open a bottle.
I just do it differently.
(15:27):
We all do it differently.
And but that's not my fear.
My fear was not losing my arm,it was losing my family.
And it's hard, it's tough, andif I gave up and quit now, I
would be no different than I was19 years ago.
And I've done no healing,really in a way because I want
(15:53):
to be there for others so thatthey're not going to go through
what I went through by myself,you know.
And then I went to the grocerystore and I wanted to walk
around because I thought, okay,if I'm walking around the store
and I have faith with me will begood.
And I saw the cutest littlegirl and she had down syndrome
and she's so beautiful and I waslike, okay, I get it, I see my
(16:15):
sign.
And I looked at her and I waslike she was with her mom.
Her mom was on the phone, notpaying or paying attention to
her.
She had to be like three and Iwas like you are gorgeous and I
love your dress.
And she tried to tell me thankyou, and I was like that dress
is beautiful, but I think youmake it beautiful.
And her mom just lit up and Iwas like you are so adorable and
(16:38):
it was just.
It's what I do.
I don't even think about it.
I always do this right and Ialways, just one time a day, say
something nice to somebodyBecause it doesn't cost you a
thing but it makes their day.
You don't know what they'regoing through.
You don't know if that littlegirl just came back from a
pediatric, neurologist orwhatever the case may be, or
(16:59):
maybe on the way.
You don't know.
I mean, nobody knew that.
You know I had this appointment, but to see that little girl
smile was just so life'schanging for that moment.
And you know, you go through andyou realize, like people in my
life and I've heard this sooften they they walk in, they
(17:22):
say, oh, okay, well, what canshe do for me?
And then they tail it out, andit has happened so more many
times that I even want to admitand it sucks, and you know what
I'd rather you do it to me ahundred times over and then do
it to my girl or my husband um,because I have the thicker skin,
I can take it, but to.
To do it to my girl or myhusband um, because I have the
thicker skin, I can take it.
(17:43):
But to to do it to my family isunforgivable, and it I mean it
even happened yesterday again bysomeone that I thought of as a
friend and it was what can youdo for me?
And then to hell with you.
And the thing is is that and I'mnot patting myself on the on
the back, and I know my husbandwill will agree when I say that
(18:05):
but it's like I found out thatif I'm driving my vehicle and my
daughter's sitting beside me, Ican't hear her talk to me.
I can't hear her if the airconditioner's on.
I can't hear her.
If the music is is on.
I can't hear her if the musicis on.
And I already went two and ahalf years without hearing her
(18:26):
because she had a tracheostomywhen she was little to save her
life and I want every word, Iwant every sentence, I want
every sound.
And to be driving and not beable to even hear her when she's
talking to me, then people areso shallow that they are mad
that they want you to give andgive and give.
(18:47):
And then to hell with you whenyou realize that it's not a
two-way street, that they're nottrue friends and they don't
need you anymore.
But the minute they do, they'regoing to come back.
They won't apologize forreentering, they're just going
to say they need something andthen they'll do it again and
again.
And what really gets me is,while all this is going on, I
(19:11):
mean you won't hear me say Ican't.
My husband will tell you.
I've never laid in the bed allday and just said you know, I'm
not doing it anymore, I quit,I'm just going to give up, not
whatever.
But I come home from surgeryand I go right back to work.
I'll stay up till 12 or 1o'clock in the morning and I'm
working.
(19:31):
And then I get text messages 1,2 o'clock in the morning and
I'm answering them.
And then I'm posting at 4 inthe morning, five in the morning
, six in the morning, and Inever tell anybody.
Hey, I need a day, right, Idon't have a day off in the week
, I don't.
I work seven days a week.
I don't ask anybody for a dayoff.
I've been to court to helpfamilies when I'm one day
(19:54):
post-op and I have a temporarydevice, like tape, to my back
which I'm allergic to the thetape.
And I'm literally in courttestifying for the safety and
security of kids.
But nobody ever hears mecomplain, because I'm here for a
reason and I know what mypurpose is.
The reason that we're talkingabout this is because on sunday
(20:18):
we're doing a webinar and thewebinar has some of the most
amazing human beings talkingabout their stories and what
they have done.
And these are amazing people.
And we're doing this because wehave launched a Contagious
Smile Academy and you can go toA Contagious Smile, so
A-C-O-N-T-A-G-I-O-U-S-S-M-I-L-E,dot M, as in Mary and as in
(20:44):
Nancy, dot com, dot C-O.
So A Contagious Smile, dot M-N,dot C-O.
And you can go and explore andlook.
We have well over 100 differentclasses.
They're very low cost if notfree.
They're very low cost if notfree, and these are classes that
I've had evaluated that areworth anywhere from $99 to $599.
(21:06):
And they cover any and everyone, whether you're a special needs
kiddo.
And we have our stucco squadthat talk all about how amazing
and beautiful you are and evenif, like you can't go outside,
we have a course about makingthe best for the inside and
having an amazing summer inside.
Um courses about self-esteem,self-worth, bullying, you name
(21:28):
it, it's there.
Then we have stuff for mamasand daddies of special needs
kids and how they can, you know,have help.
I am an advocate.
I'm also an ie advocate.
I've written a book that I'veturned into a course about the
IEP armor and it gives detailsthat nobody else knows about
(21:49):
going in there and your rightsand what they don't want you to
know.
And also we have the LimitlessRecovery Tribe, which is for
anyone going through any type ofrecovery.
My husband and I are both inrecovery from abuse.
People don't think that'srecovery, but it absolutely is.
There's things in there.
There's things in there forpeople who have CRPS.
(22:11):
There's things in there forpeople who have STEM routers and
things like that.
I believe laughter is the bestmedicine and when you go to the
doctor that's why it's calledpractice you know you're
practicing medicine, butlaughter is the best, and so I
have courses in there called myButt is on Bluetooth and there's
courses in there that are justdownright freaking, stupid funny
(22:32):
, that are going to make youlaugh and make you forget
everything else.
Like the surgeon, I asked himto put in a USB port so that I
could just charge on my bodyparts, and I told him, you know,
as I get older, I'm literallyjust going to need a WD-40 wash
because and I did ask him, Isaid so when I say my birthday,
should I say I'm really onlylike 10, because all my body
(22:53):
parts are new, right, and it'sjust you.
You have to put a smile on yourface about it.
But the webinar, you know thetickets are free.
You can come in there and andget some advice you would never
get anywhere else.
They we do have it, for you caneither get free tickets or
tickets for five dollars, andthat five dollars goes to
(23:16):
provide a scholarship foranybody.
We even have the veteran circlefor active and retired veterans
and these classes are amazing.
We have the safe haven Phoenixcenter for anybody recovering in
abuse, and then we have oursocial media, which is how we
(23:37):
went from zero to millions offollowers from years of training
and courses and classes and I'mour marketing team.
We don't have anybody else.
We do this in our tiny office.
My husband and I've never takena paycheck.
We've been doing this all onour own.
But these scholarships arethere to help provide.
So if somebody reaches out tome and says I can't pay, that's
(23:59):
all they have to say and I'mgoing to make sure they get the
classes they need.
But it costs a lot for us tokeep afloat the platforms and
running all of it and adding innew material, and I tried to add
a course a week, but it seemsas if I'm doing that a day
Because I just enjoy knowingthat I'm putting a smile on
(24:20):
someone else's face, which ishow a contagious smile started,
because myself and Faith arecranial facial kiddos now and
every smile is different andI'll tell stories, and so it's
tough.
It's really tough.
You can go to Eventbrite andyou can also also look on our
website and you can look onsocial media and you can join us
(24:43):
.
And if you can't join us, thengo to a contagious smilecom and
in the right corner it says buyme a coffee.
I'm going to change that heresoon to provide a scholarship,
but right now it's buy me acoffee and when you click on it,
it's called Transformative andit shows you how you're helping.
I mean, look at the statisticsy'all.
It's one in four women.
(25:04):
So if you are a woman yourself,you have a daughter, you have a
sister and you have a mom, onein four are going to go through
some type of abuse in their life, and nobody should have to
endure this alone no one.
And when they feel they have noone, we're going to make sure
they don't feel that.
And then you don't knowtomorrow.
I mean, I had no idea.
(25:25):
One day I had my arm and thenext day I didn't.
And I had my hearing and thenext day I didn't.
And it's literally like youdon't know what's coming.
And it's $5, and not even aHappy Meal is affordable at $5
anymore.
Everything is so much moremoney than that and we have set
it up where literally $5 willcover a course for someone who
(25:50):
desperately needs it.
And that's what we're trying todo.
We're not trying to get rich onthis and get a mansion or
anything like that.
We're very subtle.
We're just country folk in alittle country home with our
family and dogs and doing thisout of our office, and we just
(26:10):
want to pay it forward and helpothers and that's what we try to
do, and it's as raw as it gets.
We are as raw as it gets and Iwant people to see that they're
not alone.
I mean literally.
I sat there today and thoughtabout it.
If you take a calendar that has365 days in it and you average
(26:31):
out, I've had a surgeryliterally on average every three
days.
If you think about it that way,when I look at memories on
Facebook that come up, I'vealmost to the point stopped,
because it always says pleasepray for my husband and child
while I'm going back into the ORagain.
And it's almost daily that Isee that for one year or another
(26:52):
year or another year, and it'sconstant and I'm honored and
thrilled that it's me because Idon't want my husband or
daughter to go through it.
But we shouldn't have to gothrough it at all, especially
when these pieces of shit arewalking around without a scratch
or mark on them.
I have never sought, you know,revenge on him.
(27:12):
It's not mine to give.
I mean, I am human, I'd like tohear about it.
I'm not, I'll own what I do.
I'm not trying to say I, Idon't, I don't know any woman
that wouldn't.
I'd like to hear it, but I willnot be a party of it.
I won't be.
Um, you know I've testified incourt that I would never seek
him out or go to his place ofresidency or his place of
(27:34):
employment, and I won't.
I won't because he doesn't holdthat power over me and I'll
never let him have it well, Iwould like a little john wick
revenge well, I don't want anymore time of my life without you
in it yeah, but y'all, I wantedus to come on and do this.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I figured it'd be kind of quick, but I have
diarrhea in the mouth.
I know, you see, that this,this, this woman, this warrior,
she's been in the trenches y'all.
She's a strong survivor.
She knows what she's talkingabout because she's been there.
Okay, I don't know, maybe you'rethere now, maybe you just got
(28:15):
out of it, I don't know yoursituation, but she has every
right to be furious, to befuming, mad, to go into
depression, to start poppingpills, to drink her life away,
but she doesn't.
She doesn't.
She has a greater purpose.
She has a big, big fat heart,and that's not a fat joke, but
(28:40):
she's got a big heart.
She loves me, our daughter, ourdog, and she loves dogs it's
plural.
She loves helping others.
So if anyone, if anyone outthere, ever thought that she was
a fraud or a fake or a phonyman, you're wrong, wrong.
This is the real deal and we'renot throwing a pity party for
(29:05):
her, but dang it y'all.
She has.
She has a right to, to vent.
Okay, I'm sure y'all, y'allhave done the same thing.
You know you.
You went into the closet andscreamed your head off, and you
know why me, why me well, I, Ijust want to say I didn't
necessarily want to vent per se.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
It's the fact that I want people who are
unfortunately and I wish thatthey weren't going through
anything to realize they're notalone.
I mean, they're not alone, youknow, and I'm so sorry for every
single thing that you're goingthrough.
One hit, one punch, one kicks,one too many.
It's not acceptable.
It's not a contest as to oh, Ican't talk to her.
(29:47):
She's been hit hundreds oftimes.
Right, that's, it's not thesame, I don't care, it's one,
it's one too many.
Nobody should put their hands onyou in an unwarranted manner.
Or to the, the special needsparent that sits there and wants
answers and gets five minuteswith the doctor, and I know, and
my husband knows, that other 23hours and 55 minutes is nothing
(30:09):
less than hell.
It absolutely is absolute sheerhell.
And the doctor goes to theirgolf game and goes to their
five-star restaurants and goeshome to their family, and good
for them, but they don't knowwhat it's like.
They don't, you know.
And to a lot of them that's apatient, a case, and they'll say
(30:29):
you know, tell us this case,tell us what the you know.
And it's not.
That's my daughter, that's my,you know that's your son
(31:01):
no-transcript.
Or to a parent of a specialneeds child who is people don't
understand.
I mean you have parking that'slike 14 $15 a time and then you
have, you know, co-pays atdoctors and then you have
medications and there's so manymedications that a lot of kids
(31:24):
have to go on.
And you know if you have afeeding tube, there's feeding
supplies and how we do it andyou have to have your
temperature of your home acertain way.
And then if you have atracheostomy or you have kids
with grandma seizures and youhave to implement all the safety
protocols and all of the otherfactors and you have to have an
emergency bag everywhere you goand and you know, you always
live on that high alert, readyto go adrenaline, because you
(31:46):
feel like if you bring yourselfdown and something happens
you'll blame yourself.
Then you don't have that extramoney to get the help that you
deserve.
Not, you need you and healingshouldn't come with a price tag.
It just shouldn't.
It's not fair.
The people who make the moneyare out there, you know, driving
(32:07):
their expensive cars.
I mean, we're just simple folkdown here.
If people knew economicallywhere I used to be and where I
used to come from.
I'm not that person.
Even then I wasn't that person.
I was like the black sheep inevery possible scenario.
But we're asking people justeven for a cup of coffee, a $5
(32:31):
donation because, if God forbid,you came to me and said, hey, I
need help, you're going to getit.
It's no questions asked.
I'm not going to humiliate youand say show me proof or
anything like that.
The courses are there to helpand to provide.
And then we have resourcelibrary in there.
It's free to join.
Come in there and look.
(32:51):
I don't think I've met a singleperson that there's not
something in there for right.
I mean, if you're someone whowants to learn how to podcast or
you want to learn how to growyour following, there's courses
in there for that.
Now, they're not as cheap as$4.99, but you go online
anywhere and they are hundredsof dollars a piece and we don't
(33:12):
have a single course anywherenear that cost.
And the thing is is that we'vedone it ourselves.
I mean, we can show our numbers.
You know, we are globallyranked.
We have gotten three globalawards, three global awards just
this month.
And it's because we're real,we're authentic, we are what you
(33:32):
see and some people can'tmanage that and that is not on
us and you know it would be somuch easier just to be cold and
shallow and put up a wall and tohell with everyone else.
But then to me it makes me nodifferent than them and I can't
be that person and I don't wantmy daughter to see that person
and she damn sure doesn'tdeserve that person.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Right.
I want to thank you for sharing, being very open with the
listeners thank you for yourpollen there was a little pollen
in the room.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Well, how is it for you as a spouse, because I think
a lot of people would want toknow um you're not skirting that
you know typical male?
No, you are not a typical male.
Dig a hole.
You already have one built youknow and run an iv.
You know this is recorded.
(34:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
How do you feel going through and seeing time after
time that's what I'm talkingabout like don't do anything
incriminating, I'm not the factthat you're losing more now
because of the past and whathappened to you and what was
(34:51):
allowed to happen, um, it, youknow it.
It makes me love you morebecause I'm going to be here
with you through the whole thing.
Whether they have the surgery,whether they they whatever, take
down your ear and you're 100%deaf in there, and then the
(35:15):
other ear you can barely hearout of, in there, and then the
other ear you can barely hearout of and you have one arm and
you, you, you can halfway signand I can't sign it all.
And then you know excuse me,the the problem with the speech
I'm still going to be here.
We have an amazing daughter.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
She's going to help me, so well, they are saying I
need cochlear implants and ofcourse my insurance doesn't
cover it yeah, they're like 300grand just for the the surgery
and the device.
Yeah, and the warranty lastsonly five years on the on the
device and it's anotherprosthetic device implanted,
(35:56):
like I don't have enough andyeah, I just had to charge her
up literally last night.
Yeah, my back has to be charged.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Excuse me, I have this, this disc that I place on
her on her skin.
Uh well, she wears her pajamas,so I place on the outside of
her pajamas and and it chargesher stem router.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah, but then you have to hook up the hearing aids
and then you have to hook uplike this.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's crazy, you know, my wife's becoming an iPhone or
something now.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I think I've surpassed that.
I do.
I mean it's crazy, it is.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Anyway, y'all keep following, keep listening, keep
sharing and um please supportyou know the webinar.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
It's it literally and you know what?
There's so many things outthere.
Right now we have a camp stuccosquad, which is my service dog,
stucco, and my beautiful sweetbaby, uh, golden retriever.
He's red, he is just amazing.
And there's all these amazingfun courses and all of the
courses have bonus things behindthem where you could see fun
(37:06):
things that most people don'tthink about doing, because we've
been through it.
Between my daughter and I Ithink we've had every specialist
, literally, and it's kind of arunning joke that if you take a
picture of the human body, ofthe skeleton, there's not an
area of it that I have not hadsurgery on and you go through it
and you look at that and it'sjust like we get it and if we
(37:31):
can bring just one smile, onelaughter, one moment where they
are no longer consumed withtheir diagnosis, because you're
not your diagnosis, you are notyour condition, and for a moment
, if you're like right now, Ifelt like everything was just on
top of me again and you go inthere to one of the classes and
(37:55):
you pull up my butt is onBluetooth, you know, and it
talks about how you know Ishould be getting free HBO with
this or something of that nature, and it just makes you laugh
for a second.
That second, you forget thatyou're not a diagnosis, that
you're not a condition, becauseyou're not either one.
And you are so much strongerthan you think and that's the
one thing that we really don'tgive ourself enough credit for
(38:15):
is our strength, and especiallymamas of these kiddos.
These kiddos are my inspiration.
When I see their strength andthe just tenacity of them, it
just makes me want to look atpeople who are so judgmental
(38:36):
about things.
And now, everywhere you go,people like what is wrong with
people?
You just want to look at peopleand say what is wrong with you.
You know, and we won't saywhere.
But last night we had dinner ata restaurant and the guy made a
comment about my disability.
And I was just dumbfounded thatsomebody would just so free and
clearly make a comment about Idon't see me as a disabled, I
(39:02):
just do things different.
And for him to have looked atme and make a comment of my
disability was just absolutelyuncalled for.
And I said well, you know, thatkind of warrants is a bad
review.
And he was like, oh, it's notthe first time I've had one,
I'll just lie about it like I doon the others.
And you know I thought about hehad to be the owner's kid or
something he has to be.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
But I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
I mean just, it just dumbfounds me how some people
you know, like I grew up with,like the grandparents mentality,
where it was, I'll hold a dooropen and wait and make everybody
mad along the way, but I'mgoing to hold that door open for
that person who's older, comingthrough.
And it's yes, sir, yes, ma'am,and you don't have to say that.
You don't have to say it, yes,I do.
You know, I tell people all thetime.
(39:47):
You know my grandparents wouldget me from up there if I showed
disrespect down here.
And that's the truth.
And what the hell has happened?
People don't even care anymore.
They sit at a table.
You go to a restaurant, lookaround.
Nobody's talking to each other.
Everybody's eye deep down intheir phone.
You know, if you wanted to havea conversation with whomever is
on the other end of that phone,invite them to freaking dinner,
(40:10):
right?
You're sitting there at dinner.
You've gone out.
You're spending yourhard-earned money with the
people that are supposed to beyour frontline and you're not
even speaking to them, right?
You don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow.
You're not promised tomorrow,but you know what, in five years
, is that person that you werechatting with?
Are they even going to bearound.
Are you going to remember it?
Here's the thing Ask yourselfif whatever is consuming you in
(40:34):
a negative way, is it going tobe around in a month, in six
months, in a year?
Is it going to be worth theconsumption of your everything
at this point in time?
Because it really isn't.
It's not worth it.
Please participate in thewebinar, check it out, support
it, share it, so that we cankeep doing what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I'm gonna let my husband take us out because he
he's just giving me this lookand don't forget y'all go find
out um about victoria and thehell that she went through
getting her first book offamazon who kicked first by
victoria cure.
I want to thank y'all forhaving patience and listening to
(41:15):
me and you know, listening tomy wife she's very real.
You know she's very raw andshe's got the biggest heart.
But I wanted to let her come onhere and do this so you can
send us comments, questions, butthank y'all for listening to A
Contagious Smile Signing off.
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