September 11, 2025 • 57 mins
Three years after losing her limb, Victoria marks her "FU anniversary" with a raw, unfiltered conversation about survival, resilience, and finding your voice after trauma. This special edition podcast takes listeners on a deeply personal journey through narcissistic family dynamics and the challenging path of the family "black sheep."
Victoria shares exciting news about her new anthology "Dear Silence You Lost, We Get the Last Word" – a powerful collection of survivor stories from around the world. This international gathering of voices breaks the silence surrounding abuse in all its forms: emotional, physical, verbal, and sexual. With all proceeds funding healing scholarships, the project embodies Victoria's commitment to providing support without financial barriers.
The heart of this episode explores the psychological terrain familiar to many listeners – the impossible dynamics of narcissistic family relationships. Drawing from decades of therapy and her own painful experiences, Victoria articulates how narcissists systematically undermine and isolate the family truth-teller. She vulnerably shares her journey of surviving domestic violence that left her with over 100 surgeries, metal throughout her body, significant hearing loss, and ultimately, amputation.
Despite these challenges, Victoria transformed her trauma into purpose. Alongside her husband, she's created award-winning resources for survivors while building a family based on the unconditional love and support she never received growing up. Her memoirs "Who Kicked First?" and "Nard Nard Who's There?" document her experiences with evidence-based accounts, offering validation for others on similar journeys.
The episode closes with a powerful message for fellow black sheep and scapegoats everywhere: your worth isn't determined by those who can't accept responsibility for their actions. Though healing isn't easy, remembering your inherent value is the first step toward reclaiming your life after narcissistic abuse. If you've ever felt misunderstood, devalued, or silenced within your family, this conversation will resonate deeply and remind you that you're not alone.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Howdy y'all.
What special edition of Ragefrom a contagious smile, host
Victoria.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
No, no, I don't think that's accurate or correct at
all.
We're just doing a specialedition podcast because today is
my FU anniversary.
Fu anniversary I got thepleasure of interviewing Tyron
Jackson, who has become a friend, and he has such an amazing,
motivational and heartbreakingstory which you guys will hear
(00:34):
when it releases soon.
But he is a brother as amputeeand a motivational speaker, just
a nice, nice guy, and we weretalking about that.
Today is my three years of beingan amputee and he and it was an
amputee anniversary or happyamputee anniversary, whatever
(00:54):
three years, and we were talkingabout what it's like to really
get through it and people don'tget it unless they have become
an ampute right.
Nobody understands that.
So we were talking about thatand we were talking about the
release of.
Dear Silence you Lost.
We Get the Last Word, and thatwill be on e-book and paperback.
(01:20):
As we celebrate See, we'recelebrating, we got bells and
whistles the release of thisinternational what would you
call it, babe?
It's an international gatheringof survivors.
That is just amazing, and I amso honored that these wonderful
(01:42):
human beings trusted me withtheir stories and allowed me to
tell the world of their show,the world, their bravery and the
sacrifice and the survival towhich every single one of them
have.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So y'all get on Amazon and get this book.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Well, hold on.
It wasn't supposed to bereleased until October 1st, but
the e-book is live as of todayand the paperback is still in
approval.
But it will be out shortly andall proceeds go to offering
scholarships to those that needthat, so we can provide that
(02:26):
comfort and health and healingwithout a price tag, because you
shouldn't have to pay to betteryourself and to get through
tough times.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
The name of the book is Dear Silence you Lost,
compiled by Victoria Curie,written by hundreds.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
These are their actual stories.
These are their what would youcall it Heroic escapes, maybe
their traumatic nightmares.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
This is their, this is their voice.
That's what I said, excuse me.
This is their voice.
They and I and you, becauseyou're in it, you actually
submitted a letter in.
This is a voice for thevoiceless.
We were basically likeintroverted within ourself going
(03:16):
through, whether it's emotional.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Physical, verbal, emotional sexual.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It's all in there.
And this is their like takingthe tape off.
This is them using their voiceand stating hey, guess what?
We survived and this is how wedid it.
This is our story so yeah it'sit's.
(03:42):
It's an honor, but was a very,very challenging thing to do,
because when you read whateverybody went through, it's a
lot, it's very challenging.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So if you don't, have Kindle, put it in your wish
list and be able to look out forit.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
For paperback.
Yes, yes.
So let's talk about black sheep.
Let's talk about the blacksheep of family.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Well, that would be you, that would be me, that
would be how many others, somany.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
What do you think it's like?
Well, first of all, one of thevery first things I've ever
learned and I know, you learnedand know, but I learned even
from studying and courses andthings like that is that, and I
learned firsthand from lifeitself is that narcissists
cannot accept or claimresponsibility for their actions
(04:41):
, no matter what it is, if it isnot making them look better or
putting themselves out there ina positive way they care more
about the public's perception ofthem than what they do behind
closed doors.
They will never acceptaccountability for their actions
.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
So, as funny as that is and I don't mean it comically
and as black sheep you know weall know that I survived
horrific domestic violence.
Any domestic violence ishorrific right, but I have had
well over 100 surgeries and Ihave still now made my reason
(05:26):
for life beside my husband andchild to help others and for 20
years.
That's what I've done.
I have advocated and stood withstood for and helped survivors
of domestic violence, specialneeds children and never taken a
check for it.
This is something that I havedone because I believe in it so
(05:47):
strongly.
My husband believes in it sostrongly Our daughter believes
in it so strongly.
And so, in the beginning, forwho Kicked First?
I, which is your memoir?
That is a memoir, and I wasliterally being interrogated by
any and everyone, and so Istarted to take notes.
(06:10):
Faith was in a medical injurycoma, so we couldn't stimulate
her.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But I sat beside her and talked to her and told her
stories and saying to her but Iliterally took my laptop and
just started writing and writingand writing, Because when
you're being interrogated, youknow I'm sorry, and I totally
don't agree with our system, butthe thing is is that the person
(06:36):
who did the crime is notgetting interrogated, the and I
hate the word victim.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I think it's so inappropriate we are
interrogated.
And I hate the word victim.
I think it's so inappropriatewe are interrogated.
I always ask well, who brokeyour nose?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Where were they?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Who was around?
What time of day was it?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
What was?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
the weather like what was he wearing?
What were you wearing?
When you're getting your noseshattered open, I promise you
that you are not looking at yoursurrounding environment.
You're not looking at who is it?
Nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Who is it?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Three six 11.
You are not looking at yoursurrounding environment.
You're not looking at who.
Is it nine o'clock?
Who's?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
at three six eleven.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
You're not looking at any of that.
I'm sitting in my vehicle I'm ona military installation and I'm
getting my face smashed openthat I can tell you.
Well, what day of the week wasit?
What day of time of the day wasit?
What were they wearing?
Well, obviously it was ayouthful who was standing around
.
I don't know.
They all look like little gi,don't figures right.
So it's like constant, and itwas like we have to not prove
(07:31):
our like our innocently, toprove our truth.
Well, I've always said from dayone you don't have non-cosmetic
surgery for things that aren'tbroken, right.
You're not going to go to thehospital have your nose set.
If it's not broken, they're notgoing do it.
You're not gonna have atitanium face if your jaws are
shattered beyond repair and youhave multiple surgeries to get
(07:52):
there, right.
You're not gonna lose yourhearing.
You require hearing aids andhave actual hearing tests that
show hearing loss due to traumaif you don't have it right.
So this is all cut in your eye.
There it is.
So the one thing aboutnarcissism is that they never
(08:13):
can hold themselves accountablefor their actions.
Okay, and one of the main thingsthat narcissists love is the
sense of truth they think it islike the best analogy I can do
is like a little kid stompingtheir feet, not getting their
way, and they're like oh, you'renot listening to me, you know
it's not, it's all it's supposed.
To be all about me so to hellwith you.
(08:35):
Oh, stomping my feet, turnaround, walk off and stop
talking to you until you needsomething again, and until that
time comes, they have nothingfor you or to do with you.
Because here's the thing thing,and I can't wait to hear your
thought on this the narcissistbiggest threat is the black
(09:00):
sheep, because the golden childis so I don't know what you want
to say like taken care of thatit's like the sheep.
The wool is pulled over theireyes.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Right they have on blinders.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Blinders they have on .
What do they call them like?
The rose colored glasses right,so with the black sheep?
A narcissist spends their lifelike belittling the black sheep,
tearing them down.
Nothing is ever good enough.
You know, like in my situation.
I wrote a book and I heard ohwell, your brother wrote a term
(09:39):
paper or a thesis or you knowwhatever.
Okay, great, good for him.
No, where, anywhere can anyonesay I've ever said anything bad
about my brother do we have arelationship.
No, why?
Because?
narcissistic parents separatethe siblings out of fear that
they'll come together and goagainst the parents right now.
(10:01):
I've always said from day onethat I appreciate the fact that
my biological parents did allowus to be there for refuge after
my, our daughter, was born, andthat would be months and months
after they met her for the veryfirst time.
They didn't even meet her untilshe was well over three months
(10:25):
of age, but geographically, fromtheir front door to the door of
the hospital was less than 1.5miles.
Right, less than 1.5 miles.
So if there was no traffic,three minutes, right, seriously.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Is that right or wrong?
Yeah, from what I rememberwhere they live, right.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So I appreciate the refuge.
I do.
I appreciate that they let us.
They did not have to.
I've always said that, but thatdoesn't mean that that gives
the right to do some things.
Always said that, but thatdoesn't mean that that gives the
right to do some things thatwere done.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And I've always said I'm not innocent.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I'm sure I've done bad things.
I admit that I've done badthings.
I made a deal with the devilthat I wouldn't hit him back if
he didn't hit my stomach right.
These are things that I openlyadmit to.
So, needless to say, so manypeople ask me over the years how
did you get to where?
You were comfortable withsomeone like your ex Right, and
(11:35):
it was after years and decades,really, of being on a therapist
couch.
I was in therapy in elementaryand middle and high school
constantly.
It was consistent.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I've always been on the couch, because I never
understood why I was in themonth?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
why could I not have a dad that would say I love you?
Why could I not have a dad thatsaid he's proud of me?
Or?
You know, I was always tryingto get him to even want to be
around me, and, and when I waslittle, I would go on motorcycle
rides with him, I would want todo stuff with him, right.
But then everything changed andI went 10 years without speaking
(12:12):
to him and the thing is that Igot into careers to have
something in common with himwhich I wanted nothing to do
with, but I did it because Ialways wanted his approval.
I always wanted him to say I'mproud of you, which I didn't
hear, and I constantly wanted tohear this.
(12:37):
I never heard it, and the thingis that I had the influence of
my grandparents which meant theworld to me and I was willing to
emulate what they had.
And, yes, I went through in myearly 20s whatever relationships
Because I, literally I wasn'tspeaking to my biological
(13:00):
parents.
And I spent that time hiding,literally, literally, because I
wanted nothing to do with them.
And in the beginning of thattime I met my soulmate, who's
sitting here in front of me, andwe spent four and a half
beautiful years together, andpart of that time I did see my
(13:21):
biological parents and theyeverybody knew who my soulmate
was because I held them in sucha high regard and I was
traveling with work and blah,blah, blah Anyway.
So I never got that touch of youknow we're proud of you or what
(13:44):
you've accomplished.
It's all like oh, you got thisjob, how much money do you make?
Why are you living alone.
Why are you doing this?
You know I would get.
Why don't you just put yourname?
On a bus stop, because that'sthe kind of white trash that you
are and that's the kind ofwhite trash that you have in
your life as relationships.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
This is what I would hear constantly.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
I would hear you know about my scars.
Men aren't going to find themattractive.
Men aren't going to find youattractive Things that were just
.
You're effing hot Whatever Justthings that you would never say
.
I would never say these thingsto Faith Ever in my life.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Don't mind telling her all the time, every day.
I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
She's beautiful and we broke the chains.
We both did because we were notgoing to be like that and see
here's the thing Is that I wrotethis book and our kids there.
And the thing is that the bookand my husband has read it and
my husband knows he can saywhatever and I support him
(14:43):
whether we agree on it or not,because that's why you have
opinions.
Everything in that book isbacked by evidence, right
Everything, and it'soverwhelming.
Like it took me a long timebecause it was do I want to put
that in there?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Do I want to put this in there?
Do I want to take that out?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
You know how far do.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I want to go with this, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Because there was probably another thousand pieces
of evidence pictures andwhatever that I kept, that I
didn't include and I did notwant to slander my brother, but
I wanted him to know.
I was hoping that if he everread this book there'd be
eye-opening for him because hewould really learn more about
(15:23):
who they really were.
But he was never going tobelieve me because he only heard
what he got from them.
He had no relationship with ourbiological father and you know
they would show me things abouthow he would get upset with.
You know this is that manner.
But you know my husband hasknown me for the longest time.
I've never said anything abouthim other than I'm glad he's
(15:44):
happy and that he deserves to behappy.
I have said that I truly wish hewould get away from her, his
mom, because she made it wherehe couldn't do anything without
her, and that's not on him,that's on her right.
So anyway, needless say, it wasprobably a couple months ago
(16:05):
that my biological fatherapproached my husband and I'm so
careful about everything, I'venever said names or anything of
that nature for multiple reasonsand he approached my husband
and it wasn't really.
It was kind of shocking becauseeverybody knows that faith was
(16:27):
in the hospital we almost losther right and I mean we're not
talking about like a caraccident, god forbid anything
like that.
She was in full multi-organfailure.
They told us call a priest,call your husband she's not
going to get through the night.
Then they said we'll keep hercomfortable and let her pass.
Natural, we didn't leave herside for months.
Right, she had dozens ofsurgeries bedside.
(16:50):
We know, for a fact that bothof our families knew hands down.
We knew, both sides knew aboutthis and no one calls from your
side of the family and we heardlater on that my biological
father attempted to call onceonce, one time.
(17:14):
No voicemail, no, nothing.
Here's the thing.
I got the wrong number.
That's what we were told.
We got the wrong number.
Now he runs into my husbandother owner now he runs into my
husband and really he sees himmaybe once a month, maybe every
couple months, something likethat.
He'd saw him during this period.
Not once did he say hey comehere.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Can I talk to you?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
what's going on with this?
How's she doing what?
Do y'all need nothing.
We've been at the samechildren's hospital from birth.
Right, this is where her teamis.
That's where all her doctorsare everybody knows that.
His answer was we didn't knowwhere he were right.
That's a load of shit, so heapproaches my husband and goes
into this long dissertationwhich I guess that's where I get
(17:58):
it from and talks about howhard things are now because his
wife is sick and how horrible.
It is because no one understandshow hard it is to take care of
someone with special needs,right, and what do I do First
time?
I reach out and I call him whatyou tried to call.
(18:20):
What, when Not true.
You know he could have gotten amessage to us he didn't.
I lately said had you and yousaid to your family anybody who
reached out to us while this wasgoing on in the faith we would
have absolutely put things asideand said do you want to see her
(18:40):
talk to her?
whatever, we had our hands fulland we only have three.
We only have three hands.
We had support from ourlisteners and our followers.
So we had people, you know,offering to pay for our parking
and and helped us with somegofundme.
They paid for some meals, withpeople sending meals up there.
(19:02):
You know, like whitney, who isamazing, she, she sent money for
food and for parking and andthings like that, and I will
forever, we will forever begrateful to her for all of that
and our own both sides, no right.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
So, needless to say, with all this said and done,
we're about to release thisother.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Dear Silence book and you know the way people talk
and whatever my husband is justeating at the bit here.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Just go ahead and interrupt me and say whatever
you want to say Come on.
No go ahead, please Well, let'snot forget while we were there
in a hospital for the two and ahalf months before we were
transferred to another hospitalfor another month not leaving
her bedside that we were able tobless a young man with a
(19:54):
refrigerator.
Yes, you recall that I did, andI know that's an odd thing, but
the the he had some misfortuneupon him his wife got injured
and he worked at the hospitaland he did not.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
He wasn't a doctor or a medical professional.
He he worked in the foodservices and he always kept
extra for us because we wouldn'tcome down yeah, we didn't leave
her bedside y'all and so myhusband didn't work for the
first several weeks, but thenwent back um and was going back
and forth, back and forth, andhe met this gentleman who they
(20:31):
started job jacking.
My husband job jacks witheverybody and found out that
they had lost almost everythingand we had an extra refrigerator
.
Here we are going through allthis and he went.
My husband went home, got therefrigerator when he went back
home the next time and broughtit back to this guy.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right, that's.
You know.
We had a lot of people you knowsupport us, yeah, so I want to
say you know we paid it forward.
Right, we paid it forward.
You know we're not looking forglory, we're not looking to make
millions.
You know we're not looking forglory, we're not looking to make
millions.
You know, lord knows, we're notmillionaires, not us.
Yeah, so I think, from myperspective that the characters
(21:17):
of my wife's book it's a looseact In real life actually read
the book and have commented onthe book and got other people to
comment on the book.
So most of y'all listeners outthere have heard or seen the
videos about Philly Carry andthe baseball.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
One of the players hit a home run, went up in the
stands and the dad was there atthe game celebrating his son's
birthday.
He went over there and he gotthe ball and gave it to his son
as a birthday present Karen,which the fans named.
She is now infamous.
(22:09):
She came over and nagged thefather, so much said, it was her
destiny to keep that ball andhe gave it to her.
He took it away from his kid.
No, he gave it so that, one, heprobably wouldn't have to
listen to her mouth anymore.
Two, he's there for him.
(22:30):
He's there for his son.
He didn't want this woman toruin his birthday.
And then you see what became ofthat.
The baseball team got togetherand gave that kid so many gifts
and stuff, had them down in thedugout with the players
Autographed baseball bat, got somany things you got to look at
(22:54):
it.
Now this woman is infamous.
Is that how Karen came about?
Oh, no, karen goes back a year,year two, okay, so yeah, I
don't know where I was goingwith that, but you know, we try
to do good things.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And like we've started this academy right and
we don't take away that peopleget expert, you know, medical,
professional, psychologicalassistance and anyway, this is
trauma-based.
We've won five awards for whatwe have created.
We are the firsttrauma-informed transformative
(23:35):
network academy for specialneeds and survivors of abuse
right these aren't awards thatare just like you know
publishers clearing houseyou know, the thing is that
you've never seen my husbandwill tell you, I have never been
someone who's like oh, I can'tmeet me today because I'm
hurting and I'm just gonna gofeel sorry for myself.
I've never done that right,just my husband's not not been
(24:00):
there.
I've never done that you havenot and I've never you know my
husband gets on my butt aboutthe fact that, like I don't
boast about myself, we won anaward.
I won an award for bestadvocate domestic violence
advocate internationally for2025.
And I'm like, okay, that's notme, it's the people I get to
(24:21):
talk to.
You know our ratings.
We're a top global podcast.
That's not me.
It's the people I get to talkto.
You know our ratings.
We're a top global podcast.
And it's not us, it's ourlisteners.
It's because people believe inwhat we have to say and they're
supportive of it right.
So, with that being said, evenafter all, this time I'm you
know, and.
I'm not doing this for a pityparty.
I'm just saying, and you'll seein a second, I've lost my
(24:45):
hearing.
My face is all metal.
I can't even go through a metaldetector my shoulder's replaced
.
I have had over 100 surgeriesthat's not an exaggeration,
right?
And so I have metal everywhere.
I have scars everywhere.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
And then I get comments like well, you could
just take a sharpie marker andplay.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Connect the dots to all your scars.
You'll be, busy for weeks.
And this is from my biologicalfather right, who the same shit
would say that to their kids hi,damn surely hi, rusty bear,
face service dog rusty, ourrusty bear has just come up and
given love and hi baby.
So with all the metal in myface, and my amputation and
(25:21):
everything else that I've gotgoing on.
I have a major, major surgeryFriday where I am going to be
completely deaf in one side,like not even able to hear
vibration.
I'm 88% deaf in the other ear,but here I am still podcasting.
I just finished podcasting withTyron tonight.
We just spent all day todaylaunching and getting the ebook
(25:42):
and the paperback book ready.
I've written a master class andtwo other courses and survival
kit.
All which the survival kit, themaster class and two other ones
are free right we're not tryingto get richer than this we're
trying to pay it forward andhelp others right.
So with all of that and wedon't want the notoriety and the
recognition- we want to be ableto help.
(26:03):
We learned before that there wassome pretty derogatory,
negative comments made about thenart nart book which, when you
read them, babe, when you readthem, it is so obvious.
If somebody said to me,victoria, read this and tell me
your thoughts, first thing, whenyou read it, it clearly states
(26:26):
that the person who read it issomebody in the book.
There is not a doubt.
Because, it's like oh, you'reonly writing one side of the
story and it's releasing familydrama.
But never did it say anywherethat it's not accurate.
Nowhere did it say is it false.
And here's the thing the entireDark Earth book does not have
(26:50):
one page without evidence in it.
The book is all evidence.
There might be some words in it,but everything else is proof.
You can't doctor up a textmessage.
If you can, I sure as helldon't know how to do it.
There's photographs, right.
There's text messages.
If you can, I sure as helldon't know how to do it.
There's photographs, right.
There's text messages.
There's emails, there'severything, and then something.
(27:12):
The negative review that cameout was so crystal clear that it
was without question somebodyinvolved in the book.
And I mean, I am not going topoint my one hand fingers and
say it was this person, butwe're going to narrow it down to
two and I know one didn't readit, so it's pretty obvious.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So here's the thing for me.
If you tell me don't read thisbook, okay, I'm a typical guy,
I'm going to read the book.
Don't push the button.
I'm a typical guy, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I'm gonna read the book.
Don't push the button.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I'm gonna push the button if you're gonna sit there
and badmouth my wife as theauthor of this book.
I want to know why.
If I didn't read this book andI didn't know what it was about,
I don't.
I want to know why.
Why is this getting so muchpublicity, right?
Why is this guy or gal goingout of their way to slander this
(28:08):
author, your wife, my wife,right?
So I want to know about thebook now.
So I think it's going to havethe same effect as Philly Karen
did.
It's going to have a positivereflect on you and the book, and
I think more people are goingto have a positive reflect on
you and your book and I thinkmore people are going to reach
out to get this book.
Well, it's been out there for aminute, but it's not new.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
It's not new.
We just now decided to talkabout it because it's not that
big of a deal.
But you know, we had some otherstuff going on that we just
didn't feel the need to talkabout it.
And you can be honest about andmy husband is a very honest
person be honest about.
Do you think I would exacerbateanything like that?
(28:53):
That's not even no, no, youdidn't.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
You didn't embellish anything in there, you didn't
exacerbate anything.
Uh, you didn't blow anything up, you didn't put anything out of
proportion.
Everything was documented, itcan be proven, it's, you know.
Of course the characters arefictitional, but the facts are
(29:16):
the facts.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Well they're not fictitional in the fact that,
like I changed names to protectwhy I'm not, you know, sure but
and I redacted the faces andnames.
So like you are protected, right.
If you want to come forward andbe like it's one sighting, then
(29:37):
you are going to say who youare and then at that point I
have the right to defend my word.
But I didn't redact anything, Ihaven't taken redaction off
right, and that's what I'msaying.
But like just my husband knowsme better than anybody I gotta
find this and just pull up andread a word of it, because it's
(29:59):
like it's kind of just, it's sookay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So the books that my wife has written, that's got
some controversy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Her first one is called who Kicked First, and the
prequel to that is Nard Nardwho's?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
There, and they're both by Victoria Curie, so
please get on there and see whatwe're talking about tonight.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Well, you've met both of them.
What is your no-holds-barredunedited, unabridged version of
both of them?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm talking about.
What do you think of?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
them.
I did not know about them untilI started reading this book.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
No, you knew kind of about them.
Right, there's a lot going onthere.
Yeah, but now that you met themand speak to them, especially
my biological father- I know Ican see it, it's the truth.
You saw them when we wereliving there for a short period
of time too.
Yeah but I didn't really knowno but when you read the book
(31:10):
yeah um, I mean, the picturesare worth a thousand words.
How do you explain a picturewhen you're on a weekend getaway
with your daughter and yourgranddaughter and there's
another woman there?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
and you're all up in her.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Kool-Aid, if you will , sitting beside her canoodling,
or okay, you sat beside her.
Whatever, I was told that thiswas going to be spun on me that
I made her show up that I madeher hang out with him, that I
made him grow her, whatever.
But here's the thing, right.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
You made her feed her food.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
That was a different woman.
Oh, there's been so many.
Did I bring that up?
And it's never.
He never goes out with theseother women, unless my
biological mother was out witheither her son or she was
babysitting the other kids,which she has no involvement in,
but he wouldn't have all theseother women.
Well, I have text messages thatare in the book where he
(32:06):
messaged me at like 11 I don'tremember what are you looking
for me?
Um, I was.
It was like 11 something atnight, where he is telling me
that he is still in the movietheater with this other woman
and how much fun she is andhe'll be back to the hotel soon,
and he even goes so far as totalk about how there is a big
(32:27):
empty bed, right.
So, anyway, we've known aboutthis for a good minute, but we
just decided to bring it up, um,because this is the epitome of
you know the narcissist againstthe black sheep.
The black sheep is the one whoknows the truth, who holds the
(32:48):
truth and will share the truth.
And anybody who has got apsychology, psychiatry counselor
, therapist, lived through it,been there, you know, been the
black sheep, been the scapegoat,you know for a fact.
That's how it is with anarcissist.
But when you hear this, it youknow first of all it's done
anonymously, which you know why,but fine.
(33:11):
And then it talks about, likeyou know, certain people that
you've known for a long time.
You know how they dictate theirwords right.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Their words are so you know Right, If I say all
right, all right, all right, youthink of one person.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Like you say what and I'm going to think of you.
You try to say what.
But so it's a one-sided account, packed with personal stories
twisted to fit the author'snarrative, Taken grossly out of
context.
How do you grossly take it?
Packed with personal storiestwisted to fit the author's
narrative, Taken grossly out ofcontext.
How do you grossly take it outof context?
If you don't know If you're notthere.
(33:52):
Supposition Readers should beaware that this is not an honest
or balanced restating of events.
Restating of events.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Hmm, restating of events.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Right, but how can you write that if you're just a
reader?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Maybe they're a precognition, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Self-serving version of the quote-unquote truth that
can conveniently cast the authoras the hero or the victim in
every scenario.
Right, I have been so goodabout not leaning on any
information as to who, what,where, how, what they used to do
(34:41):
anything of that nature toprotect them.
For why, I'm not really sure.
What's especially disturbing ishow confident Now, how does a
narcissist if you're not anarcissist, how do you say that
Like?
What is especially disturbingis how confident she writes
about the lives, identities andstruggles of other people, as if
(35:01):
she knows the whole story.
She doesn't Not even close.
How can a reader confidentlyput that in there?
How can you write that right?
And then says I spin a complexprivate matter into a shallow
plot to stir sympathy, lot, tostir sympathy, outrage or
(35:24):
attention without getting theconsent from the individuals
that she's writing about.
Like when you as an author notme, because I've never done it
if I was going to write aboutjeffrey donwood before he died.
Do you think I would go and,like you know, yes, I would,
(35:46):
because I would be using hisname, his story.
I would be saying you know,this is a serial killer who did
the unthinkable and you'retalking about specific stories
and true geographic locations.
I didn't mention mates, I didn'tmention geographics, right?
So in that aspect, I mean to me, like I said, we've known about
this for a minute and we didn'twant to talk about it until now
(36:08):
, but it's it's kind of like youread this and it's like, why
don't?
You just come on here and sayshe'll get one side of the story
.
Wait, hold on.
That is in there.
Never mind, that is in therebut I only get one side of the
story.
Um, now here's this everyone hasa right to tell their story,
but not by hijacking someoneelse's.
Now, if you're thinking aboutreading this, do so with caution
(36:30):
.
You're not getting the wholetruth.
You're getting one perspectiveincomplete, inflated and lacking
any accountability.
How is it you don't haveaccountability if all the book
is is proof?
I?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
mean.
So what you didn't hear inthere is hey, this book is a lie
, it's all a lie.
No, what you heard was.
It's coming out, but this is alie.
What you heard was a recountingof life events, so therefore
there are many and this is atrue account, but from her
(37:06):
perspective, Right.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, and now that you have an even deeper insight,
you know because both sides ofour family family, as you stated
in the beginning arenarcissists, but, like they told
you, that they only tried tocall once and you have been a
god-sent father per face, and Iknow because you told me how
(37:32):
angry that made you becausethat's a poor ass excuse.
How do you only make one phonecall and you?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
the number was wrong, but you don't make any other
effort.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
You know I mean you love and adore faith and you are
amazing as a father but to seean actual father make that
statement is dumb.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I can't understand that.
I know I'm a black sheep frommy mother and my father, but I
could not make that statementabout our other two kids, even
though our other two kids havekind of disassociated themselves
from us, you know, due towhatever you know even when they
(38:21):
were around not once have weever talked about, about their
mother?
We never talked about her infront of them we always
supported every one of them.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I mean, at one point you know the baby because she's
the wanted to move in and haveme homeschool her.
She wanted to be here full time.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I'd be damned if we knew an inkling that one of them
was her.
Oh, I'd drop off.
We would be in a great hospitaluntil we found them.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's how we were with your dad.
We found out the whole night hehad no air conditioning.
We dropped everything and wentstraight down to get him no
questions conditioning.
We dropped everything and wentstraight down to get him no
questions asked, right, we drovedown, drove back.
It was like 10 hours of drivingnonstop.
You know, faith, in the middleof the night, was in the
backseat.
We went down there and pickedhim up and brought him up, and
that's just what you're supposedto do right.
(39:10):
But then, like now, all of thetime.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
You know, it's just more confirmation that, hey, I'm
admitting I'm a narcissistbecause I can't handle the
accountability, right.
Right, I'm going to put theauthor in the bad limelight,
saying that this is all farce,it's all one-sided.
It may be life events, but it'sone-sided.
(39:39):
I'm not denying it.
I'm just saying I'm not takingaccountability, I'm not taking
responsibility for this.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
And the reason that I kept so much proof unlike I did
with my idiot ex was because,growing up and always wondering
what you've done wrong, and anyblack sheep, any scapegoat, they
get this.
They understand completely.
But when you're growing up andnothing you do is good enough
and everything is questioned,you start to like get proof to
(40:08):
remind yourself that it's notyou right, it's not me, like,
for instance, one of the womenthat was involved in this story
happened to be my physicaltherapist on my arm right.
You couldn't make this shit up.
You could not make it up rightit's not, and this is the one
(40:30):
that went out of town and cameup to out of town with us.
Well, instead of protecting hisbiological daughter, he starts
warning her that I was seekingcounsel at one point in time and
was telling her and I wasgetting the text messages about
it Like I'm being shown thesetext messages and you can't make
(40:55):
that up.
So how do you stir that to befor you?
And then to have my own fathersaying, hey, well, I wonder if
you make money if you lost yourwhore, I mean, there's no amount
of money that would fix that.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
What money do you make now from?
Speaker 2 (41:09):
I have made no money because I there was no lawsuit,
it was not pursued, but you know, I was told I wasn't allowed to
touch her or do anything or orget her in trouble, and these
were all things that we havedocumented.
the only reason I had themdocumented, you know, was
because and I was told blatantlythat if I ever brought this to
(41:32):
public life that he would makesure everybody knew that I made
him do this.
He was miserable Babe, and inthe book because I don't have
the exact count, give me anestimate of how many different
women there are pictures of himwith dining out in a intimate
ish setting.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I'd say gosh, it's been a year now since that book.
Four to six, and there's atleast 12.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, and it's not just.
You know, like when we go outwith friends and they're sitting
across from us, they're sittingside by side, they're feeding
him, they're wiping his mouth,you know whatever.
And you know, when we saw this,my husband looked at me and was
like I guess you're out thewill.
And you know, we joked about itbecause I know I've been out of
(42:23):
the will for ever today, and youknow one of the reasons not
that there is not a countlessamount of them why I fell in
love with my husband all overagain is because my husband
actually told my biologicalfather that the only thing he
wanted that he had was myselfand faith.
He didn't want anything else.
He didn't want money, he didn'twant anything now.
(42:45):
I didn't want it.
I would have loved to have hadmy grandparents belongings
because I would like to passthem down, um and have faith,
have them, but I never countedon Any of the inheritance From
all of the money and you knowthe house and cars and RV and
(43:05):
everything that's paid for.
And you know we hadn't seenthem in years.
And we saw them and the firstthing was oh, come look at my
new Luxury foreign.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
RV.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
No, I'm trying not to give any titles away.
The luxury foreign four-doorsedan.
That was just purchased.
And oh, you've got to get inside, you've got to look at it.
It doesn't impress me.
I don't care, no, you have togo look at it inside.
No, come on, try it, go look atit inside.
You have to know.
Come on, try to look at it andsay, or oh, let's look at my new
(43:38):
RV.
Do you know what this thinggoes for it?
Okay, I don't care, no, youhave to look at it inside.
I'm not going inside of it.
You know these were things.
And then, just like that, andwhat really is, is that you have
faith.
Who is just the sweetest lovingyoung lady ever.
She's a very deep, romanticgirl.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Oh yes, she's got a romantic side.
That comes out in her poetry.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Well, here, hold on.
Tell me, as a parent, that whatmakes no sense to me is that
the biologicals stated to herbiologicals stated to her
biological father, stated to herthat he wanted to put the past
behind.
He wanted to put the pastbehind.
(44:26):
I remember that, and then herbirthday came and went.
No message, no happy birthday nonothing and then again giving
her the silent treatment.
After everything that beautifulyoung lady has been through,
you know he used to use her asan excuse for other women to be
(44:47):
around and spend more time with,and you know I used to be the
only child of all the you know,three of us.
I was the only one that evertook care and covered for him,
and that's because I was a blacksheep right.
He has no relationship witheither child, which now he kind
of does with my older stepsister, and that's because he needs
(45:08):
help with his wife and but hegoes behind her back and talks
about.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
You know, I don, I don't want to move up there, but
I do because I want to buy ayacht.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
And then I asked him do they know you're speaking to
us?
And he was like no.
And then he's talking about you.
Know my brother?
he got married and you know,that my stepsister's son was
throwing up at the venue and shescreams and yells at him, and
that the wedding was done by um,my stepsister's older son.
(45:42):
He became an ordained ministerand did this.
I mean, how would I know any ofthis?
He didn't tell me, right, hehas no relationship with his son
really either either.
And oh, he did tell me that youknow the groom, um, that he
married who?
I said I don't care, as long ashe treats him right and he's
happy, it's all I care about.
And instead of saying anything,he goes oh they're going on a
(46:03):
cruise at the end of the yearfor their anniversary, and his
family wouldn't show up becausethey didn't want him getting
married.
He's an older guy, so there's adaddy complex in there
somewhere.
I mean just, you can't be happy, you cannot be happy, and
that's just it.
And then you all of a suddenstop talking about this you stop
(46:24):
talking to your kid and youstop talking to your grandchild
again.
Right, I didn't reach out toyou.
You reached out to my husband,and that's the thing is.
We have a drama, trauma-freelife and we love it, and my
husband's laughing because wehaven't addressed this till now,
like we normally talk aboutnarcissism and the abuse and
everything, but this is more uhfocused, if you will, and what
(46:48):
really got me and my husband issitting here laughing and I
wonder if he thought I was goingto actually do this.
but we sat across from him andhe I said, why don't?
And I said, why don't you comeon the show?
Why don't you come on the showand let's talk?
And he, honest to God handed mytally of them all said what are
we?
Talking about Right what?
(47:10):
And I was like why don't youcome on and talk about what it's
like for your biologicaldaughter to have endured the
abuse to which I went through?
What it's like for you?
And he was like why would I dothat?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Why not.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
And then he wanted to know how many people listen,
how many millions of peoplelisten.
And then he was like cause I'venever talked about his
profession and what he used todo and I never, you know.
But this man would jump infront of a camera in a New York
second to get you know in frontof people.
And he had that monstrosity ofI want power and control and
(47:46):
money and that's the perceptionI want everybody to have with me
.
And you know, blah, blah, blah.
And I said no, you really shouldcome on, you really should come
on, you should come on, youreally should come on, you
should come on to the show.
And then he's like why don'tyou let your mother come on?
I'm asking you.
And then she goes do youremember what she said?
I, you don't want me to come onthe show because you don't like
what I have to say, because Iwouldn't have stayed and no man
(48:10):
would have ever put his hands onme.
I would have never allowed it.
Nothing would have neverallowed it, nothing would have
ever happened.
You stayed your choice, right.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
So I was like no, so I kept asking you know, do you
want to come on the show?
We talk about whatever you wantand that's no filter no filter.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
And at first he's like, yeah, I'll do it, I'll do
it.
And then he goes no, I'm notgoing to do it till we have a
conversation.
And I was like what do we haveto?
and he was like, no, we're goingto have a conversation about
why you went to your mother andshowed her all these pictures
back years ago.
I wanted her to know who youwere right, I shouldn't have to
carry the burden of your liesand deceive.
(48:48):
I shouldn't, and I knew when Idid what it would do so.
So, with that being said, heasked again to have the
conversation and I said no.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
I have nothing to conversate with him about.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
I'm not going to again apologize for his actions
Because that is so typical inthe narcissistic relationship.
Where I used to do it sorry, myhusband is opening a drink,
Canada Drive.
I used to always takeresponsibility for his actions
(49:26):
because that's how he trained meto be accountable for his
wrongdoings.
Right, that's what a narcissistdoes.
So we sat there.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Let's see how good my husband's memory is and I was
like no, you need to come on.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Well, when he said fine, I'll do it, I handed him a
release, a liability release,which I give.
We give to everybody who comeson the show right, every single
person comes on the show getsthat release and in that release
I did correct and add thestimulation stipulation.
There's my bad speech problemcoming up a stipulation to it
(50:05):
where he, uh, you know, allowsany and all, just like all
waivers are done, and it's beenchecked by a judge, it's been
checked by a lawyer, that youknow we use it.
I told him that we would givehim another name.
We wouldn't go by his real nameif he didn't want.
It would be audio, not video,and that you know.
I told him what his name wouldbe, which happened to be the
(50:26):
character in the book, right,and had he read it, which was
his choice, he would have known,but he didn't, and it's in
there that you know.
We could use whatever we wantto promote and discuss, and I
even put a logo together withthe Liberty Justice.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
That's right, you know together of the two of us
going to have this podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
He signed a waiver, Babe.
He signed a waiver.
You watched him sign the waiverReleasing any and all liability
.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
It wasn't for a few days later.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Right, but he released any and all
responsibility and liability foranything having to do with who
we are, what we do or anythingin between, and that includes
the book Everything Right, it'sall in there.
So he signed it.
It I said do you want a copy ofit?
No, no.
(51:22):
Then I guess he startedlistening because he wanted to
know what our podcast was about,and what I don't like that I'm
doing right now for the firsttime is I'm giving him as much
attention, but it's the factthat it's our third anniversary
of amputation which is kind ofironic.
We haven't talked about thisbecause it didn't feel the fire
(51:42):
for me to, but it's just aneye-opening experience for the
black sheep and the scapegoatthat you know they get away with
everything, but at some pointin time do they really?
and it might take an hour a week, a month, a decade, whatever.
I have been in therapy fordecades and it took me into my
40s to realize that I was theblack sheep in a scapegoat.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
And now here we are, so you're right.
My husband pointed out when heread this.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
It was what it does and doesn't do has been pointed
out when you read this.
It of what it does and doesn'tdo um it's kind of comical at
this point, but I've neverwished anything but the best for
them.
You know I don't want the dramaand trauma.
I'm not going to allow anyoneto hurt our kid.
You know um, she's as protectiveof us as we are of her and you
(52:34):
know, the thing is is that Ieven spoke to an attorney prior
to doing this book and theattorney was very adamant that
said, look, you are being wayabove and beyond in protection
of their identities and ifanyone ever wanted to dispute it
, they would have to show howyou were lying about it.
And then you have the right toshow how you weren't, and you
(52:56):
could redact all of the red it.
And then you have the right toshow how you work and you could
redact all of the redaction andthen you could publicly show
everything.
Right, and I was like, but Idon't do that, and it was just
kind of a come to fruition thing, and then when you said that,
basically the same thing earlierI was like, like well, okay,
(53:16):
you know, it's just it's.
Why can't people just life'stoo short?
Why can't you just allowyourself to be happy and get
your shit out of other people'sbusiness?
I mean, what message would youlike to end with?
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Well, you didn't write this book to slander and
belittle and desecrate someone'sname.
You didn't write this book toslander and belittle and
desecrate someone's name.
I didn't.
You wrote it as a fact-basedthing that is happening in
people's lives and this is howmanipulative they can be, how
(53:54):
controlling they can be, and toshow people hey, this is what I
did, this is what I gathered,and you know, now I've released
this and I've got it off mychest.
You know I presented theinformation to those involved
and you know I sleep better, youknow.
(54:16):
So, yeah, I love you, I loveyou.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
And what would you say to someone who tried to like
?
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Well, come in between us.
Hit the road, Jack.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Come on, you know, back in the day my husband was
the most protective defensive.
He was so sexy Well.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
I would tell you about someone I met today.
Do that.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
But I'm just saying it was so defensive and sexy and
it's protective, but I mean Iknow, that if?
Speaker 1 (54:55):
somebody go ahead and try to do anything to hurt me.
No, nothing's coming betweenyou and I, or that little girl,
except for your dog.
My hair is your dog stuckthough y'all man, her, her
service dog stuck though my boy,that's my baby gets up there in
the bed with us at night and Iwill lean over and try to kiss
(55:15):
my wife goodnight, and he willput all four balls up against me
, exclusively away from my ownlife.
I know I'm not the only one outthere that's got a dog like
that.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Well, we have both dogs in the bed, but he'll
actually come up and put hishead on my pillow and then he
puts his palm on my heart andyou're spooning me from behind
and like if my husband's hand isover my head, sucka will start
nudging it.
Or like if my husband is.
You know, if I'm sitting on thebed talking to my husband, at
(55:49):
the end of the day he jumps up,and if my husband comes over and
he kisses me, he'll push himaway.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
He's a jealous dog, he is not, it's my baby.
Yeah, he's something all right.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
Thank y'all for listening.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Be sure to get those books off Amazon.
Who Kicked First?
And Nard Nard, who's there?
By Victoria Curie.
Speaker 2 (56:08):
And one last little thing and I hope you add to this
, and if you read it, don'tcomment.
That's not what I was going tosay, and I hope you add to this.
If you are the black sheep ofthe scapegoat, as we both are,
do not allow someone who ismiserable because misery loves
company.
(56:29):
Don't allow a narcissist whocannot accept and or take
responsibility for their ownactions continue to tear you
down.
I know it is so much easier saidthan done, I know it, and even
when you're not, right front andcenter, they're still gonna try
, but when that's the case, justremember who you are.
Brush yourself off dustyourself off and say yeah, I'm
(56:51):
better than that and it's notthat easy, but it's a good
starting point.
Anything you want to say toAbinette, that's it.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Good night y'all.
My husband wants to go to bed.
Yes, that is my wife and thedog.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Oh, I don't think so.
Thank y'all.
Howdy y'all.
What special edition of Ragefrom a contagious smile, host
Victoria.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
No, no, I don't think that's accurate or correct at
all.
We're just doing a specialedition podcast because today is
my FU anniversary.
Fu anniversary I got thepleasure of interviewing Tyron
Jackson, who has become a friend, and he has such an amazing,
motivational and heartbreakingstory which you guys will hear
(00:34):
when it releases soon.
But he is a brother as amputeeand a motivational speaker, just
a nice, nice guy, and we weretalking about that.
Today is my three years of beingan amputee and he and it was an
amputee anniversary or happyamputee anniversary, whatever
(00:54):
three years, and we were talkingabout what it's like to really
get through it and people don'tget it unless they have become
an ampute right.
Nobody understands that.
So we were talking about thatand we were talking about the
release of.
Dear Silence you Lost.
We Get the Last Word, and thatwill be on e-book and paperback.
(01:20):
As we celebrate See, we'recelebrating, we got bells and
whistles the release of thisinternational what would you
call it, babe?
It's an international gatheringof survivors.
That is just amazing, and I amso honored that these wonderful
(01:42):
human beings trusted me withtheir stories and allowed me to
tell the world of their show,the world, their bravery and the
sacrifice and the survival towhich every single one of them
have.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So y'all get on Amazon and get this book.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Well, hold on.
It wasn't supposed to bereleased until October 1st, but
the e-book is live as of todayand the paperback is still in
approval.
But it will be out shortly andall proceeds go to offering
scholarships to those that needthat, so we can provide that
(02:26):
comfort and health and healingwithout a price tag, because you
shouldn't have to pay to betteryourself and to get through
tough times.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
The name of the book is Dear Silence you Lost,
compiled by Victoria Curie,written by hundreds.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
These are their actual stories.
These are their what would youcall it Heroic escapes, maybe
their traumatic nightmares.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
This is their, this is their voice.
That's what I said, excuse me.
This is their voice.
They and I and you, becauseyou're in it, you actually
submitted a letter in.
This is a voice for thevoiceless.
We were basically likeintroverted within ourself going
(03:16):
through, whether it's emotional.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Physical, verbal, emotional sexual.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It's all in there.
And this is their like takingthe tape off.
This is them using their voiceand stating hey, guess what?
We survived and this is how wedid it.
This is our story so yeah it'sit's.
(03:42):
It's an honor, but was a very,very challenging thing to do,
because when you read whateverybody went through, it's a
lot, it's very challenging.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So if you don't, have Kindle, put it in your wish
list and be able to look out forit.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
For paperback.
Yes, yes.
So let's talk about black sheep.
Let's talk about the blacksheep of family.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Well, that would be you, that would be me, that
would be how many others, somany.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
What do you think it's like?
Well, first of all, one of thevery first things I've ever
learned and I know, you learnedand know, but I learned even
from studying and courses andthings like that is that, and I
learned firsthand from lifeitself is that narcissists
cannot accept or claimresponsibility for their actions
(04:41):
, no matter what it is, if it isnot making them look better or
putting themselves out there ina positive way they care more
about the public's perception ofthem than what they do behind
closed doors.
They will never acceptaccountability for their actions
.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
So, as funny as that is and I don't mean it comically
and as black sheep you know weall know that I survived
horrific domestic violence.
Any domestic violence ishorrific right, but I have had
well over 100 surgeries and Ihave still now made my reason
(05:26):
for life beside my husband andchild to help others and for 20
years.
That's what I've done.
I have advocated and stood withstood for and helped survivors
of domestic violence, specialneeds children and never taken a
check for it.
This is something that I havedone because I believe in it so
(05:47):
strongly.
My husband believes in it sostrongly Our daughter believes
in it so strongly.
And so, in the beginning, forwho Kicked First?
I, which is your memoir?
That is a memoir, and I wasliterally being interrogated by
any and everyone, and so Istarted to take notes.
(06:10):
Faith was in a medical injurycoma, so we couldn't stimulate
her.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But I sat beside her and talked to her and told her
stories and saying to her but Iliterally took my laptop and
just started writing and writingand writing, Because when
you're being interrogated, youknow I'm sorry, and I totally
don't agree with our system, butthe thing is is that the person
(06:36):
who did the crime is notgetting interrogated, the and I
hate the word victim.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I think it's so inappropriate we are
interrogated.
And I hate the word victim.
I think it's so inappropriatewe are interrogated.
I always ask well, who brokeyour nose?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Where were they?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Who was around?
What time of day was it?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
What was?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
the weather like what was he wearing?
What were you wearing?
When you're getting your noseshattered open, I promise you
that you are not looking at yoursurrounding environment.
You're not looking at who is it?
Nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Who is it?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Three six 11.
You are not looking at yoursurrounding environment.
You're not looking at who.
Is it nine o'clock?
Who's?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
at three six eleven.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
You're not looking at any of that.
I'm sitting in my vehicle I'm ona military installation and I'm
getting my face smashed openthat I can tell you.
Well, what day of the week wasit?
What day of time of the day wasit?
What were they wearing?
Well, obviously it was ayouthful who was standing around
.
I don't know.
They all look like little gi,don't figures right.
So it's like constant, and itwas like we have to not prove
(07:31):
our like our innocently, toprove our truth.
Well, I've always said from dayone you don't have non-cosmetic
surgery for things that aren'tbroken, right.
You're not going to go to thehospital have your nose set.
If it's not broken, they're notgoing do it.
You're not gonna have atitanium face if your jaws are
shattered beyond repair and youhave multiple surgeries to get
(07:52):
there, right.
You're not gonna lose yourhearing.
You require hearing aids andhave actual hearing tests that
show hearing loss due to traumaif you don't have it right.
So this is all cut in your eye.
There it is.
So the one thing aboutnarcissism is that they never
(08:13):
can hold themselves accountablefor their actions.
Okay, and one of the main thingsthat narcissists love is the
sense of truth they think it islike the best analogy I can do
is like a little kid stompingtheir feet, not getting their
way, and they're like oh, you'renot listening to me, you know
it's not, it's all it's supposed.
To be all about me so to hellwith you.
(08:35):
Oh, stomping my feet, turnaround, walk off and stop
talking to you until you needsomething again, and until that
time comes, they have nothingfor you or to do with you.
Because here's the thing thing,and I can't wait to hear your
thought on this the narcissistbiggest threat is the black
(09:00):
sheep, because the golden childis so I don't know what you want
to say like taken care of thatit's like the sheep.
The wool is pulled over theireyes.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Right they have on blinders.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Blinders they have on .
What do they call them like?
The rose colored glasses right,so with the black sheep?
A narcissist spends their lifelike belittling the black sheep,
tearing them down.
Nothing is ever good enough.
You know, like in my situation.
I wrote a book and I heard ohwell, your brother wrote a term
(09:39):
paper or a thesis or you knowwhatever.
Okay, great, good for him.
No, where, anywhere can anyonesay I've ever said anything bad
about my brother do we have arelationship.
No, why?
Because?
narcissistic parents separatethe siblings out of fear that
they'll come together and goagainst the parents right now.
(10:01):
I've always said from day onethat I appreciate the fact that
my biological parents did allowus to be there for refuge after
my, our daughter, was born, andthat would be months and months
after they met her for the veryfirst time.
They didn't even meet her untilshe was well over three months
(10:25):
of age, but geographically, fromtheir front door to the door of
the hospital was less than 1.5miles.
Right, less than 1.5 miles.
So if there was no traffic,three minutes, right, seriously.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Is that right or wrong?
Yeah, from what I rememberwhere they live, right.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So I appreciate the refuge.
I do.
I appreciate that they let us.
They did not have to.
I've always said that, but thatdoesn't mean that that gives
the right to do some things.
Always said that, but thatdoesn't mean that that gives the
right to do some things thatwere done.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And I've always said I'm not innocent.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I'm sure I've done bad things.
I admit that I've done badthings.
I made a deal with the devilthat I wouldn't hit him back if
he didn't hit my stomach right.
These are things that I openlyadmit to.
So, needless to say, so manypeople ask me over the years how
did you get to where?
You were comfortable withsomeone like your ex Right, and
(11:35):
it was after years and decades,really, of being on a therapist
couch.
I was in therapy in elementaryand middle and high school
constantly.
It was consistent.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I've always been on the couch, because I never
understood why I was in themonth?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
why could I not have a dad that would say I love you?
Why could I not have a dad thatsaid he's proud of me?
Or?
You know, I was always tryingto get him to even want to be
around me, and, and when I waslittle, I would go on motorcycle
rides with him, I would want todo stuff with him, right.
But then everything changed andI went 10 years without speaking
(12:12):
to him and the thing is that Igot into careers to have
something in common with himwhich I wanted nothing to do
with, but I did it because Ialways wanted his approval.
I always wanted him to say I'mproud of you, which I didn't
hear, and I constantly wanted tohear this.
(12:37):
I never heard it, and the thingis that I had the influence of
my grandparents which meant theworld to me and I was willing to
emulate what they had.
And, yes, I went through in myearly 20s whatever relationships
Because I, literally I wasn'tspeaking to my biological
(13:00):
parents.
And I spent that time hiding,literally, literally, because I
wanted nothing to do with them.
And in the beginning of thattime I met my soulmate, who's
sitting here in front of me, andwe spent four and a half
beautiful years together, andpart of that time I did see my
(13:21):
biological parents and theyeverybody knew who my soulmate
was because I held them in sucha high regard and I was
traveling with work and blah,blah, blah Anyway.
So I never got that touch of youknow we're proud of you or what
(13:44):
you've accomplished.
It's all like oh, you got thisjob, how much money do you make?
Why are you living alone.
Why are you doing this?
You know I would get.
Why don't you just put yourname?
On a bus stop, because that'sthe kind of white trash that you
are and that's the kind ofwhite trash that you have in
your life as relationships.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
This is what I would hear constantly.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
I would hear you know about my scars.
Men aren't going to find themattractive.
Men aren't going to find youattractive Things that were just
.
You're effing hot Whatever Justthings that you would never say
.
I would never say these thingsto Faith Ever in my life.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Don't mind telling her all the time, every day.
I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
She's beautiful and we broke the chains.
We both did because we were notgoing to be like that and see
here's the thing Is that I wrotethis book and our kids there.
And the thing is that the bookand my husband has read it and
my husband knows he can saywhatever and I support him
(14:43):
whether we agree on it or not,because that's why you have
opinions.
Everything in that book isbacked by evidence, right
Everything, and it'soverwhelming.
Like it took me a long timebecause it was do I want to put
that in there?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Do I want to put this in there?
Do I want to take that out?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
You know how far do.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I want to go with this, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Because there was probably another thousand pieces
of evidence pictures andwhatever that I kept, that I
didn't include and I did notwant to slander my brother, but
I wanted him to know.
I was hoping that if he everread this book there'd be
eye-opening for him because hewould really learn more about
(15:23):
who they really were.
But he was never going tobelieve me because he only heard
what he got from them.
He had no relationship with ourbiological father and you know
they would show me things abouthow he would get upset with.
You know this is that manner.
But you know my husband hasknown me for the longest time.
I've never said anything abouthim other than I'm glad he's
(15:44):
happy and that he deserves to behappy.
I have said that I truly wish hewould get away from her, his
mom, because she made it wherehe couldn't do anything without
her, and that's not on him,that's on her right.
So anyway, needless say, it wasprobably a couple months ago
(16:05):
that my biological fatherapproached my husband and I'm so
careful about everything, I'venever said names or anything of
that nature for multiple reasonsand he approached my husband
and it wasn't really.
It was kind of shocking becauseeverybody knows that faith was
(16:27):
in the hospital we almost losther right and I mean we're not
talking about like a caraccident, god forbid anything
like that.
She was in full multi-organfailure.
They told us call a priest,call your husband she's not
going to get through the night.
Then they said we'll keep hercomfortable and let her pass.
Natural, we didn't leave herside for months.
Right, she had dozens ofsurgeries bedside.
(16:50):
We know, for a fact that bothof our families knew hands down.
We knew, both sides knew aboutthis and no one calls from your
side of the family and we heardlater on that my biological
father attempted to call onceonce, one time.
(17:14):
No voicemail, no, nothing.
Here's the thing.
I got the wrong number.
That's what we were told.
We got the wrong number.
Now he runs into my husbandother owner now he runs into my
husband and really he sees himmaybe once a month, maybe every
couple months, something likethat.
He'd saw him during this period.
Not once did he say hey comehere.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Can I talk to you?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
what's going on with this?
How's she doing what?
Do y'all need nothing.
We've been at the samechildren's hospital from birth.
Right, this is where her teamis.
That's where all her doctorsare everybody knows that.
His answer was we didn't knowwhere he were right.
That's a load of shit, so heapproaches my husband and goes
into this long dissertationwhich I guess that's where I get
(17:58):
it from and talks about howhard things are now because his
wife is sick and how horrible.
It is because no one understandshow hard it is to take care of
someone with special needs,right, and what do I do First
time?
I reach out and I call him whatyou tried to call.
(18:20):
What, when Not true.
You know he could have gotten amessage to us he didn't.
I lately said had you and yousaid to your family anybody who
reached out to us while this wasgoing on in the faith we would
have absolutely put things asideand said do you want to see her
(18:40):
talk to her?
whatever, we had our hands fulland we only have three.
We only have three hands.
We had support from ourlisteners and our followers.
So we had people, you know,offering to pay for our parking
and and helped us with somegofundme.
They paid for some meals, withpeople sending meals up there.
(19:02):
You know, like whitney, who isamazing, she, she sent money for
food and for parking and andthings like that, and I will
forever, we will forever begrateful to her for all of that
and our own both sides, no right.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
So, needless to say, with all this said and done,
we're about to release thisother.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Dear Silence book and you know the way people talk
and whatever my husband is justeating at the bit here.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Just go ahead and interrupt me and say whatever
you want to say Come on.
No go ahead, please Well, let'snot forget while we were there
in a hospital for the two and ahalf months before we were
transferred to another hospitalfor another month not leaving
her bedside that we were able tobless a young man with a
(19:54):
refrigerator.
Yes, you recall that I did, andI know that's an odd thing, but
the the he had some misfortuneupon him his wife got injured
and he worked at the hospitaland he did not.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
He wasn't a doctor or a medical professional.
He he worked in the foodservices and he always kept
extra for us because we wouldn'tcome down yeah, we didn't leave
her bedside y'all and so myhusband didn't work for the
first several weeks, but thenwent back um and was going back
and forth, back and forth, andhe met this gentleman who they
(20:31):
started job jacking.
My husband job jacks witheverybody and found out that
they had lost almost everythingand we had an extra refrigerator
.
Here we are going through allthis and he went.
My husband went home, got therefrigerator when he went back
home the next time and broughtit back to this guy.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right, that's.
You know.
We had a lot of people you knowsupport us, yeah, so I want to
say you know we paid it forward.
Right, we paid it forward.
You know we're not looking forglory, we're not looking to make
millions.
You know we're not looking forglory, we're not looking to make
millions.
You know, lord knows, we're notmillionaires, not us.
Yeah, so I think, from myperspective that the characters
(21:17):
of my wife's book it's a looseact In real life actually read
the book and have commented onthe book and got other people to
comment on the book.
So most of y'all listeners outthere have heard or seen the
videos about Philly Carry andthe baseball.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
One of the players hit a home run, went up in the
stands and the dad was there atthe game celebrating his son's
birthday.
He went over there and he gotthe ball and gave it to his son
as a birthday present Karen,which the fans named.
She is now infamous.
(22:09):
She came over and nagged thefather, so much said, it was her
destiny to keep that ball andhe gave it to her.
He took it away from his kid.
No, he gave it so that, one, heprobably wouldn't have to
listen to her mouth anymore.
Two, he's there for him.
(22:30):
He's there for his son.
He didn't want this woman toruin his birthday.
And then you see what became ofthat.
The baseball team got togetherand gave that kid so many gifts
and stuff, had them down in thedugout with the players
Autographed baseball bat, got somany things you got to look at
(22:54):
it.
Now this woman is infamous.
Is that how Karen came about?
Oh, no, karen goes back a year,year two, okay, so yeah, I
don't know where I was goingwith that, but you know, we try
to do good things.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
And like we've started this academy right and
we don't take away that peopleget expert, you know, medical,
professional, psychologicalassistance and anyway, this is
trauma-based.
We've won five awards for whatwe have created.
We are the firsttrauma-informed transformative
(23:35):
network academy for specialneeds and survivors of abuse
right these aren't awards thatare just like you know
publishers clearing houseyou know, the thing is that
you've never seen my husbandwill tell you, I have never been
someone who's like oh, I can'tmeet me today because I'm
hurting and I'm just gonna gofeel sorry for myself.
I've never done that right,just my husband's not not been
(24:00):
there.
I've never done that you havenot and I've never you know my
husband gets on my butt aboutthe fact that, like I don't
boast about myself, we won anaward.
I won an award for bestadvocate domestic violence
advocate internationally for2025.
And I'm like, okay, that's notme, it's the people I get to
(24:21):
talk to.
You know our ratings.
We're a top global podcast.
That's not me.
It's the people I get to talkto.
You know our ratings.
We're a top global podcast.
And it's not us, it's ourlisteners.
It's because people believe inwhat we have to say and they're
supportive of it right.
So, with that being said, evenafter all, this time I'm you
know, and.
I'm not doing this for a pityparty.
I'm just saying, and you'll seein a second, I've lost my
(24:45):
hearing.
My face is all metal.
I can't even go through a metaldetector my shoulder's replaced
.
I have had over 100 surgeriesthat's not an exaggeration,
right?
And so I have metal everywhere.
I have scars everywhere.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
And then I get comments like well, you could
just take a sharpie marker andplay.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Connect the dots to all your scars.
You'll be, busy for weeks.
And this is from my biologicalfather right, who the same shit
would say that to their kids hi,damn surely hi, rusty bear,
face service dog rusty, ourrusty bear has just come up and
given love and hi baby.
So with all the metal in myface, and my amputation and
(25:21):
everything else that I've gotgoing on.
I have a major, major surgeryFriday where I am going to be
completely deaf in one side,like not even able to hear
vibration.
I'm 88% deaf in the other ear,but here I am still podcasting.
I just finished podcasting withTyron tonight.
We just spent all day todaylaunching and getting the ebook
(25:42):
and the paperback book ready.
I've written a master class andtwo other courses and survival
kit.
All which the survival kit, themaster class and two other ones
are free right we're not tryingto get richer than this we're
trying to pay it forward andhelp others right.
So with all of that and wedon't want the notoriety and the
recognition- we want to be ableto help.
(26:03):
We learned before that there wassome pretty derogatory,
negative comments made about thenart nart book which, when you
read them, babe, when you readthem, it is so obvious.
If somebody said to me,victoria, read this and tell me
your thoughts, first thing, whenyou read it, it clearly states
(26:26):
that the person who read it issomebody in the book.
There is not a doubt.
Because, it's like oh, you'reonly writing one side of the
story and it's releasing familydrama.
But never did it say anywherethat it's not accurate.
Nowhere did it say is it false.
And here's the thing the entireDark Earth book does not have
(26:50):
one page without evidence in it.
The book is all evidence.
There might be some words in it,but everything else is proof.
You can't doctor up a textmessage.
If you can, I sure as helldon't know how to do it.
There's photographs, right.
There's text messages.
If you can, I sure as helldon't know how to do it.
There's photographs, right.
There's text messages.
There's emails, there'severything, and then something.
(27:12):
The negative review that cameout was so crystal clear that it
was without question somebodyinvolved in the book.
And I mean, I am not going topoint my one hand fingers and
say it was this person, butwe're going to narrow it down to
two and I know one didn't readit, so it's pretty obvious.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So here's the thing for me.
If you tell me don't read thisbook, okay, I'm a typical guy,
I'm going to read the book.
Don't push the button.
I'm a typical guy, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I'm gonna read the book.
Don't push the button.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I'm gonna push the button if you're gonna sit there
and badmouth my wife as theauthor of this book.
I want to know why.
If I didn't read this book andI didn't know what it was about,
I don't.
I want to know why.
Why is this getting so muchpublicity, right?
Why is this guy or gal goingout of their way to slander this
(28:08):
author, your wife, my wife,right?
So I want to know about thebook now.
So I think it's going to havethe same effect as Philly Karen
did.
It's going to have a positivereflect on you and the book, and
I think more people are goingto have a positive reflect on
you and your book and I thinkmore people are going to reach
out to get this book.
Well, it's been out there for aminute, but it's not new.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
It's not new.
We just now decided to talkabout it because it's not that
big of a deal.
But you know, we had some otherstuff going on that we just
didn't feel the need to talkabout it.
And you can be honest about andmy husband is a very honest
person be honest about.
Do you think I would exacerbateanything like that?
(28:53):
That's not even no, no, youdidn't.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
You didn't embellish anything in there, you didn't
exacerbate anything.
Uh, you didn't blow anything up, you didn't put anything out of
proportion.
Everything was documented, itcan be proven, it's, you know.
Of course the characters arefictitional, but the facts are
(29:16):
the facts.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Well they're not fictitional in the fact that,
like I changed names to protectwhy I'm not, you know, sure but
and I redacted the faces andnames.
So like you are protected, right.
If you want to come forward andbe like it's one sighting, then
(29:37):
you are going to say who youare and then at that point I
have the right to defend my word.
But I didn't redact anything, Ihaven't taken redaction off
right, and that's what I'msaying.
But like just my husband knowsme better than anybody I gotta
find this and just pull up andread a word of it, because it's
(29:59):
like it's kind of just, it's sookay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
So the books that my wife has written, that's got
some controversy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Her first one is called who Kicked First, and the
prequel to that is Nard Nardwho's?
Speaker 1 (30:17):
There, and they're both by Victoria Curie, so
please get on there and see whatwe're talking about tonight.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Well, you've met both of them.
What is your no-holds-barredunedited, unabridged version of
both of them?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm talking about.
What do you think of?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
them.
I did not know about them untilI started reading this book.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
No, you knew kind of about them.
Right, there's a lot going onthere.
Yeah, but now that you met themand speak to them, especially
my biological father- I know Ican see it, it's the truth.
You saw them when we wereliving there for a short period
of time too.
Yeah but I didn't really knowno but when you read the book
(31:10):
yeah um, I mean, the picturesare worth a thousand words.
How do you explain a picturewhen you're on a weekend getaway
with your daughter and yourgranddaughter and there's
another woman there?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
and you're all up in her.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Kool-Aid, if you will , sitting beside her canoodling,
or okay, you sat beside her.
Whatever, I was told that thiswas going to be spun on me that
I made her show up that I madeher hang out with him, that I
made him grow her, whatever.
But here's the thing, right.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
You made her feed her food.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
That was a different woman.
Oh, there's been so many.
Did I bring that up?
And it's never.
He never goes out with theseother women, unless my
biological mother was out witheither her son or she was
babysitting the other kids,which she has no involvement in,
but he wouldn't have all theseother women.
Well, I have text messages thatare in the book where he
(32:06):
messaged me at like 11 I don'tremember what are you looking
for me?
Um, I was.
It was like 11 something atnight, where he is telling me
that he is still in the movietheater with this other woman
and how much fun she is andhe'll be back to the hotel soon,
and he even goes so far as totalk about how there is a big
(32:27):
empty bed, right.
So, anyway, we've known aboutthis for a good minute, but we
just decided to bring it up, um,because this is the epitome of
you know the narcissist againstthe black sheep.
The black sheep is the one whoknows the truth, who holds the
(32:48):
truth and will share the truth.
And anybody who has got apsychology, psychiatry counselor
, therapist, lived through it,been there, you know, been the
black sheep, been the scapegoat,you know for a fact.
That's how it is with anarcissist.
But when you hear this, it youknow first of all it's done
anonymously, which you know why,but fine.
(33:11):
And then it talks about, likeyou know, certain people that
you've known for a long time.
You know how they dictate theirwords right.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Their words are so you know Right, If I say all
right, all right, all right, youthink of one person.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Like you say what and I'm going to think of you.
You try to say what.
But so it's a one-sided account, packed with personal stories
twisted to fit the author'snarrative, Taken grossly out of
context.
How do you grossly take it?
Packed with personal storiestwisted to fit the author's
narrative, Taken grossly out ofcontext.
How do you grossly take it outof context?
If you don't know If you're notthere.
(33:52):
Supposition Readers should beaware that this is not an honest
or balanced restating of events.
Restating of events.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Hmm, restating of events.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Right, but how can you write that if you're just a
reader?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Maybe they're a precognition, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Self-serving version of the quote-unquote truth that
can conveniently cast the authoras the hero or the victim in
every scenario.
Right, I have been so goodabout not leaning on any
information as to who, what,where, how, what they used to do
(34:41):
anything of that nature toprotect them.
For why, I'm not really sure.
What's especially disturbing ishow confident Now, how does a
narcissist if you're not anarcissist, how do you say that
Like?
What is especially disturbingis how confident she writes
about the lives, identities andstruggles of other people, as if
(35:01):
she knows the whole story.
She doesn't Not even close.
How can a reader confidentlyput that in there?
How can you write that right?
And then says I spin a complexprivate matter into a shallow
plot to stir sympathy, lot, tostir sympathy, outrage or
(35:24):
attention without getting theconsent from the individuals
that she's writing about.
Like when you as an author notme, because I've never done it
if I was going to write aboutjeffrey donwood before he died.
Do you think I would go and,like you know, yes, I would,
(35:46):
because I would be using hisname, his story.
I would be saying you know,this is a serial killer who did
the unthinkable and you'retalking about specific stories
and true geographic locations.
I didn't mention mates, I didn'tmention geographics, right?
So in that aspect, I mean to me, like I said, we've known about
this for a minute and we didn'twant to talk about it until now
(36:08):
, but it's it's kind of like youread this and it's like, why
don't?
You just come on here and sayshe'll get one side of the story
.
Wait, hold on.
That is in there.
Never mind, that is in therebut I only get one side of the
story.
Um, now here's this everyone hasa right to tell their story,
but not by hijacking someoneelse's.
Now, if you're thinking aboutreading this, do so with caution
(36:30):
.
You're not getting the wholetruth.
You're getting one perspectiveincomplete, inflated and lacking
any accountability.
How is it you don't haveaccountability if all the book
is is proof?
I?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
mean.
So what you didn't hear inthere is hey, this book is a lie
, it's all a lie.
No, what you heard was.
It's coming out, but this is alie.
What you heard was a recountingof life events, so therefore
there are many and this is atrue account, but from her
(37:06):
perspective, Right.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, and now that you have an even deeper insight,
you know because both sides ofour family family, as you stated
in the beginning arenarcissists, but, like they told
you, that they only tried tocall once and you have been a
god-sent father per face, and Iknow because you told me how
(37:32):
angry that made you becausethat's a poor ass excuse.
How do you only make one phonecall and you?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
the number was wrong, but you don't make any other
effort.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
You know I mean you love and adore faith and you are
amazing as a father but to seean actual father make that
statement is dumb.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I can't understand that.
I know I'm a black sheep frommy mother and my father, but I
could not make that statementabout our other two kids, even
though our other two kids havekind of disassociated themselves
from us, you know, due towhatever you know even when they
(38:21):
were around not once have weever talked about, about their
mother?
We never talked about her infront of them we always
supported every one of them.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I mean, at one point you know the baby because she's
the wanted to move in and haveme homeschool her.
She wanted to be here full time.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I'd be damned if we knew an inkling that one of them
was her.
Oh, I'd drop off.
We would be in a great hospitaluntil we found them.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's how we were with your dad.
We found out the whole night hehad no air conditioning.
We dropped everything and wentstraight down to get him no
questions conditioning.
We dropped everything and wentstraight down to get him no
questions asked, right, we drovedown, drove back.
It was like 10 hours of drivingnonstop.
You know, faith, in the middleof the night, was in the
backseat.
We went down there and pickedhim up and brought him up, and
that's just what you're supposedto do right.
(39:10):
But then, like now, all of thetime.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
You know, it's just more confirmation that, hey, I'm
admitting I'm a narcissistbecause I can't handle the
accountability, right.
Right, I'm going to put theauthor in the bad limelight,
saying that this is all farce,it's all one-sided.
It may be life events, but it'sone-sided.
(39:39):
I'm not denying it.
I'm just saying I'm not takingaccountability, I'm not taking
responsibility for this.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
And the reason that I kept so much proof unlike I did
with my idiot ex was because,growing up and always wondering
what you've done wrong, and anyblack sheep, any scapegoat, they
get this.
They understand completely.
But when you're growing up andnothing you do is good enough
and everything is questioned,you start to like get proof to
(40:08):
remind yourself that it's notyou right, it's not me, like,
for instance, one of the womenthat was involved in this story
happened to be my physicaltherapist on my arm right.
You couldn't make this shit up.
You could not make it up rightit's not, and this is the one
(40:30):
that went out of town and cameup to out of town with us.
Well, instead of protecting hisbiological daughter, he starts
warning her that I was seekingcounsel at one point in time and
was telling her and I wasgetting the text messages about
it Like I'm being shown thesetext messages and you can't make
(40:55):
that up.
So how do you stir that to befor you?
And then to have my own fathersaying, hey, well, I wonder if
you make money if you lost yourwhore, I mean, there's no amount
of money that would fix that.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
What money do you make now from?
Speaker 2 (41:09):
I have made no money because I there was no lawsuit,
it was not pursued, but you know, I was told I wasn't allowed to
touch her or do anything or orget her in trouble, and these
were all things that we havedocumented.
the only reason I had themdocumented, you know, was
because and I was told blatantlythat if I ever brought this to
(41:32):
public life that he would makesure everybody knew that I made
him do this.
He was miserable Babe, and inthe book because I don't have
the exact count, give me anestimate of how many different
women there are pictures of himwith dining out in a intimate
ish setting.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I'd say gosh, it's been a year now since that book.
Four to six, and there's atleast 12.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, and it's not just.
You know, like when we go outwith friends and they're sitting
across from us, they're sittingside by side, they're feeding
him, they're wiping his mouth,you know whatever.
And you know, when we saw this,my husband looked at me and was
like I guess you're out thewill.
And you know, we joked about itbecause I know I've been out of
(42:23):
the will for ever today, and youknow one of the reasons not
that there is not a countlessamount of them why I fell in
love with my husband all overagain is because my husband
actually told my biologicalfather that the only thing he
wanted that he had was myselfand faith.
He didn't want anything else.
He didn't want money, he didn'twant anything now.
(42:45):
I didn't want it.
I would have loved to have hadmy grandparents belongings
because I would like to passthem down, um and have faith,
have them, but I never countedon Any of the inheritance From
all of the money and you knowthe house and cars and RV and
(43:05):
everything that's paid for.
And you know we hadn't seenthem in years.
And we saw them and the firstthing was oh, come look at my
new Luxury foreign.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
RV.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
No, I'm trying not to give any titles away.
The luxury foreign four-doorsedan.
That was just purchased.
And oh, you've got to get inside, you've got to look at it.
It doesn't impress me.
I don't care, no, you have togo look at it inside.
No, come on, try it, go look atit inside.
You have to know.
Come on, try to look at it andsay, or oh, let's look at my new
(43:38):
RV.
Do you know what this thinggoes for it?
Okay, I don't care, no, youhave to look at it inside.
I'm not going inside of it.
You know these were things.
And then, just like that, andwhat really is, is that you have
faith.
Who is just the sweetest lovingyoung lady ever.
She's a very deep, romanticgirl.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Oh yes, she's got a romantic side.
That comes out in her poetry.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Well, here, hold on.
Tell me, as a parent, that whatmakes no sense to me is that
the biologicals stated to herbiologicals stated to her
biological father, stated to herthat he wanted to put the past
behind.
He wanted to put the pastbehind.
(44:26):
I remember that, and then herbirthday came and went.
No message, no happy birthday nonothing and then again giving
her the silent treatment.
After everything that beautifulyoung lady has been through,
you know he used to use her asan excuse for other women to be
(44:47):
around and spend more time with,and you know I used to be the
only child of all the you know,three of us.
I was the only one that evertook care and covered for him,
and that's because I was a blacksheep right.
He has no relationship witheither child, which now he kind
of does with my older stepsister, and that's because he needs
(45:08):
help with his wife and but hegoes behind her back and talks
about.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
You know, I don, I don't want to move up there, but
I do because I want to buy ayacht.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
And then I asked him do they know you're speaking to
us?
And he was like no.
And then he's talking about you.
Know my brother?
he got married and you know,that my stepsister's son was
throwing up at the venue and shescreams and yells at him, and
that the wedding was done by um,my stepsister's older son.
(45:42):
He became an ordained ministerand did this.
I mean, how would I know any ofthis?
He didn't tell me, right, hehas no relationship with his son
really either either.
And oh, he did tell me that youknow the groom, um, that he
married who?
I said I don't care, as long ashe treats him right and he's
happy, it's all I care about.
And instead of saying anything,he goes oh they're going on a
(46:03):
cruise at the end of the yearfor their anniversary, and his
family wouldn't show up becausethey didn't want him getting
married.
He's an older guy, so there's adaddy complex in there
somewhere.
I mean just, you can't be happy, you cannot be happy, and
that's just it.
And then you all of a suddenstop talking about this you stop
(46:24):
talking to your kid and youstop talking to your grandchild
again.
Right, I didn't reach out toyou.
You reached out to my husband,and that's the thing is.
We have a drama, trauma-freelife and we love it, and my
husband's laughing because wehaven't addressed this till now,
like we normally talk aboutnarcissism and the abuse and
everything, but this is more uhfocused, if you will, and what
(46:48):
really got me and my husband issitting here laughing and I
wonder if he thought I was goingto actually do this.
but we sat across from him andhe I said, why don't?
And I said, why don't you comeon the show?
Why don't you come on the showand let's talk?
And he, honest to God handed mytally of them all said what are
we?
Talking about Right what?
(47:10):
And I was like why don't youcome on and talk about what it's
like for your biologicaldaughter to have endured the
abuse to which I went through?
What it's like for you?
And he was like why would I dothat?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Why not.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
And then he wanted to know how many people listen,
how many millions of peoplelisten.
And then he was like cause I'venever talked about his
profession and what he used todo and I never, you know.
But this man would jump infront of a camera in a New York
second to get you know in frontof people.
And he had that monstrosity ofI want power and control and
(47:46):
money and that's the perceptionI want everybody to have with me
.
And you know, blah, blah, blah.
And I said no, you really shouldcome on, you really should come
on, you should come on, youreally should come on, you
should come on to the show.
And then he's like why don'tyou let your mother come on?
I'm asking you.
And then she goes do youremember what she said?
I, you don't want me to come onthe show because you don't like
what I have to say, because Iwouldn't have stayed and no man
(48:10):
would have ever put his hands onme.
I would have never allowed it.
Nothing would have neverallowed it, nothing would have
ever happened.
You stayed your choice, right.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
So I was like no, so I kept asking you know, do you
want to come on the show?
We talk about whatever you wantand that's no filter no filter.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
And at first he's like, yeah, I'll do it, I'll do
it.
And then he goes no, I'm notgoing to do it till we have a
conversation.
And I was like what do we haveto?
and he was like, no, we're goingto have a conversation about
why you went to your mother andshowed her all these pictures
back years ago.
I wanted her to know who youwere right, I shouldn't have to
carry the burden of your liesand deceive.
(48:48):
I shouldn't, and I knew when Idid what it would do so.
So, with that being said, heasked again to have the
conversation and I said no.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
I have nothing to conversate with him about.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
I'm not going to again apologize for his actions
Because that is so typical inthe narcissistic relationship.
Where I used to do it sorry, myhusband is opening a drink,
Canada Drive.
I used to always takeresponsibility for his actions
(49:26):
because that's how he trained meto be accountable for his
wrongdoings.
Right, that's what a narcissistdoes.
So we sat there.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Let's see how good my husband's memory is and I was
like no, you need to come on.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Well, when he said fine, I'll do it, I handed him a
release, a liability release,which I give.
We give to everybody who comeson the show right, every single
person comes on the show getsthat release and in that release
I did correct and add thestimulation stipulation.
There's my bad speech problemcoming up a stipulation to it
(50:05):
where he, uh, you know, allowsany and all, just like all
waivers are done, and it's beenchecked by a judge, it's been
checked by a lawyer, that youknow we use it.
I told him that we would givehim another name.
We wouldn't go by his real nameif he didn't want.
It would be audio, not video,and that you know.
I told him what his name wouldbe, which happened to be the
(50:26):
character in the book, right,and had he read it, which was
his choice, he would have known,but he didn't, and it's in
there that you know.
We could use whatever we wantto promote and discuss, and I
even put a logo together withthe Liberty Justice.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
That's right, you know together of the two of us
going to have this podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
He signed a waiver, Babe.
He signed a waiver.
You watched him sign the waiverReleasing any and all liability
.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
It wasn't for a few days later.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Right, but he released any and all
responsibility and liability foranything having to do with who
we are, what we do or anythingin between, and that includes
the book Everything Right, it'sall in there.
So he signed it.
It I said do you want a copy ofit?
No, no.
(51:22):
Then I guess he startedlistening because he wanted to
know what our podcast was about,and what I don't like that I'm
doing right now for the firsttime is I'm giving him as much
attention, but it's the factthat it's our third anniversary
of amputation which is kind ofironic.
We haven't talked about thisbecause it didn't feel the fire
(51:42):
for me to, but it's just aneye-opening experience for the
black sheep and the scapegoatthat you know they get away with
everything, but at some pointin time do they really?
and it might take an hour a week, a month, a decade, whatever.
I have been in therapy fordecades and it took me into my
40s to realize that I was theblack sheep in a scapegoat.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
And now here we are, so you're right.
My husband pointed out when heread this.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
It was what it does and doesn't do has been pointed
out when you read this.
It of what it does and doesn'tdo um it's kind of comical at
this point, but I've neverwished anything but the best for
them.
You know I don't want the dramaand trauma.
I'm not going to allow anyoneto hurt our kid.
You know um, she's as protectiveof us as we are of her and you
(52:34):
know, the thing is is that Ieven spoke to an attorney prior
to doing this book and theattorney was very adamant that
said, look, you are being wayabove and beyond in protection
of their identities and ifanyone ever wanted to dispute it
, they would have to show howyou were lying about it.
And then you have the right toshow how you weren't, and you
(52:56):
could redact all of the red it.
And then you have the right toshow how you work and you could
redact all of the redaction andthen you could publicly show
everything.
Right, and I was like, but Idon't do that, and it was just
kind of a come to fruition thing, and then when you said that,
basically the same thing earlierI was like, like well, okay,
(53:16):
you know, it's just it's.
Why can't people just life'stoo short?
Why can't you just allowyourself to be happy and get
your shit out of other people'sbusiness?
I mean, what message would youlike to end with?
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Well, you didn't write this book to slander and
belittle and desecrate someone'sname.
You didn't write this book toslander and belittle and
desecrate someone's name.
I didn't.
You wrote it as a fact-basedthing that is happening in
people's lives and this is howmanipulative they can be, how
(53:54):
controlling they can be, and toshow people hey, this is what I
did, this is what I gathered,and you know, now I've released
this and I've got it off mychest.
You know I presented theinformation to those involved
and you know I sleep better, youknow.
(54:16):
So, yeah, I love you, I loveyou.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
And what would you say to someone who tried to like
?
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Well, come in between us.
Hit the road, Jack.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Come on, you know, back in the day my husband was
the most protective defensive.
He was so sexy Well.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
I would tell you about someone I met today.
Do that.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
But I'm just saying it was so defensive and sexy and
it's protective, but I mean Iknow, that if?
Speaker 1 (54:55):
somebody go ahead and try to do anything to hurt me.
No, nothing's coming betweenyou and I, or that little girl,
except for your dog.
My hair is your dog stuckthough y'all man, her, her
service dog stuck though my boy,that's my baby gets up there in
the bed with us at night and Iwill lean over and try to kiss
(55:15):
my wife goodnight, and he willput all four balls up against me
, exclusively away from my ownlife.
I know I'm not the only one outthere that's got a dog like
that.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Well, we have both dogs in the bed, but he'll
actually come up and put hishead on my pillow and then he
puts his palm on my heart andyou're spooning me from behind
and like if my husband's hand isover my head, sucka will start
nudging it.
Or like if my husband is.
You know, if I'm sitting on thebed talking to my husband, at
(55:49):
the end of the day he jumps up,and if my husband comes over and
he kisses me, he'll push himaway.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
He's a jealous dog, he is not, it's my baby.
Yeah, he's something all right.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
Thank y'all for listening.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Be sure to get those books off Amazon.
Who Kicked First?
And Nard Nard, who's there?
By Victoria Curie.
Speaker 2 (56:08):
And one last little thing and I hope you add to this
, and if you read it, don'tcomment.
That's not what I was going tosay, and I hope you add to this.
If you are the black sheep ofthe scapegoat, as we both are,
do not allow someone who ismiserable because misery loves
company.
(56:29):
Don't allow a narcissist whocannot accept and or take
responsibility for their ownactions continue to tear you
down.
I know it is so much easier saidthan done, I know it, and even
when you're not, right front andcenter, they're still gonna try
, but when that's the case, justremember who you are.
Brush yourself off dustyourself off and say yeah, I'm
(56:51):
better than that and it's notthat easy, but it's a good
starting point.
Anything you want to say toAbinette, that's it.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Good night y'all.
My husband wants to go to bed.
Yes, that is my wife and thedog.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Oh, I don't think so.
Thank y'all.
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The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.