December 3, 2025 • 59 mins
We close our Grow series by naming five poisons that stunt spiritual growth—malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander—and show simple steps to uproot them. God’s discipline is grace that frees us to love life, guard unity, and practice our true identity in Christ.
• Peter’s five growth-killers and why they spread
• God’s discipline as love and invitation to freedom
• Growth as natural fruit of good roots in Christ
• Malice in culture and the habit of rehearsal
• Deceit and hypocrisy as mask-wearing and anxiety
• Shift from performance to practice of identity
• Envy broken by daily gratitude and celebration
• Slander, gossip, and protecting church unity
• Practical pauses, confession, and honest speech
• Blessing, joy, and loving life as promised fruit
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Welcome and thanks for joining us on this episode
of the Midweek Podcast, broughtto you by a Fresh Wind Church.
Each week our team brings younew content to help you take
steps towards Jesus and discovermore in Christ.
Today's episode is hosted byPastor Ryan.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Well, hey, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast.
Pastor Ryan joined as alwayswith Pastor Tim.
And today we are wrapping up ourseries Grow.
And we've been talking aboutremoving five different poisons
that that Peter list in uh inhis letter.
And Tim, this has been it's beenlike a boxing match every week,
(00:51):
man.
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
It has.
And you guys just get to hear iton Sunday, but we gotta wrestle
with it all through the weektrying to figure out how to help
us through.
And uh but you know, these arethe type of things that we gotta
do.
And as pastors, sometimes uh wegotta preach the correction.
And uh this is one of thosethings, though, that we have to
(01:12):
our mindset has got to be I wantto be free.
I want everything that God hasfor me, and uh, I want to grow,
I want to know him more, I wantthe power of his resurrection,
the fellowship of his suffering.
I want it all.
Just I want it all.
And Peter said, If well, if youwant it all, you gotta get rid
(01:33):
of these things right here.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
You know, it kind of reminds me you've shared that
story about that shirt that youloved.
Um showing up to pick Teresa upin it, and she said, Don't you
ever pick me up in that shirtagain?
And because you love Teresa,you'll get rid of the shirt.
Well, at least you won't pickher up in the shirt again.
Do you still have that shirt?
I gave it to my nephew.
So he can pick up his girlfriendin that shirt.
SPEAKER_03 (01:56):
That's right.
He loved it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:58):
You know, there's there's these things that if if
we say, Man, I I love Jesus, Iwant all that he has for me, um,
then I should be willing to laysome things down.
And and these things here, Petersays, Man, we we gotta we gotta
get rid of them.
So in 1 Peter chapter 2, he helists these five things that'll
stunt our growth.
(02:19):
Um, as believers, malice,deceit, hypocrisy, envy,
slander.
Um he says, Man, we we we gottawe gotta uproot these things.
If we want to grow, these thingshave to have to be dealt with.
And man, it it was a toughseries because it these are
things, especially this probablythe world over, but I think in
(02:41):
America, we so much of this hasjust become our culture, who we
are.
I mean, envy, it it's baked intoeverything.
Slander.
You talked about this pastSunday, how every political ad,
that's all they are.
SPEAKER_03 (02:56):
Right.
Slander, you know.
You really got to dig to findtruth in those political ads.
SPEAKER_01 (03:01):
Um it's everywhere, man.
And so malice, deceit,everything is like, oh, every
week it was.
It was just that gut punch ofoh, because we know it's in
there.
Right.
It's easy for you know, when wetalk about, you know, drug
addiction or something, we we'relike, oh, I don't struggle with
that.
We're talking about otherpeople, right?
(03:23):
This has been four sermons backto back to back of like, oh no,
that one, that's me.
Um, and definitely there'sthings that we struggle with
more.
Um, but man, all of thesethings, if we all got
introspective enough, we'd say,Man, I I wrestle with some of
this.
Um, and what you said on SundayI thought was so good.
(03:45):
Because you said God'sdiscipline is not punishment,
right?
It's his grace.
SPEAKER_03 (03:51):
It's it's important to to see that that way.
Um, you don't know what thesethings are keeping you from
experiencing.
You just don't know.
But he does.
And if he needs to uh punish youor get you to um to come to him
and confess these things and gethim out of your life, he's gonna
(04:11):
do what's necessary to do thatbecause he wants you to have
your best life.
unknown (04:15):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (04:16):
And uh we need to look at his discipline as love
and grace, because that's whatit is.
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
Well that scripture comes right out and says it,
right?
God disciplines those he loves.
I I've told people, man, if thethe moment you stop experiencing
God's discipline, that's whenyou need to be worried.
SPEAKER_03 (04:34):
Yeah.
Right?
Um it's important because weharden our hearts to it and uh
we don't know uh what we'redoing uh when we do that.
And sometimes the Lord, hisdiscipline is just to give you
what you want, just to let envyhave its way and let you roll
around in discontentment foryears because you won't choose
him over it.
(04:55):
Or uh slander, uh, same thing.
It's sometimes he'll just giveyou what you want.
Everybody finds out.
No, don't talk to them, don't betheir friend.
You can't trust them.
Hey, let me tell you about them.
And that's because you slanderedand now everybody's slandering
you.
Uh it's it's just one of thosethings that sometimes God says,
(05:15):
okay, you're gonna choose thatover me, you can have it all.
And um, and then when you comecrawling back, we'll we'll we'll
discuss this again.
So it's all about uhexperiencing what God wants for
you, what he has for you.
And um Peter's saying thesethings poison that.
(05:36):
If you're getting if you'replanted in good soil and you're
being watered and warmed by thesun, Jesus Christ, you're gonna
grow.
It's just a natural thing.
But these things um inhibit yourgrowth, so you need to get them
out.
If it's uh red dye 42 orwhatever it is, or uh too much
sugar or whatever it is, you gotto get rid of it if you're gonna
(05:58):
get in shape and experience whatGod wants you to uh experience.
SPEAKER_01 (06:03):
That was another great thing I thought you
brought out on Sunday was youwere meant to grow, right?
It's natural to grow.
And we feel we look at thesethings like, oh man, it's this
battle and I gotta fight againstit.
And yeah, they need to come out.
But the most natural thing isfor you to grow.
Right.
If you are rooted in Christ,you're going to grow.
(06:24):
A tree, you know, a seed plantedin him produces good fruit.
That's the natural byproduct ofbeing planted in good soil.
Um, and so you you don't have toto struggle and fight.
You just need to cooperate.
SPEAKER_03 (06:38):
That's it.
SPEAKER_01 (06:38):
And there's sometimes he's gonna come along
and say, Oh, hey, we've got alittle bit of malice growing up
here.
Let's let's let's weed that out.
SPEAKER_03 (06:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (06:45):
And that's gonna, and if you'll cooperate with
him, he's gonna help you cleanthat up and you'll keep growing.
SPEAKER_03 (06:51):
And you'll keep growing.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
Um, so the the big thing here is is that
cooperation, but man, it hasfelt heavy every week.
SPEAKER_03 (06:59):
I think I think it's because we don't look at it as
weed in the garden.
We look at it as, you know,changing my life, you know.
And uh changing life, uh, weautomatically say that's hard.
Okay, I'm gonna lose someweight.
Well, I'm gonna get in shape.
Well, I'm gonna quit drinking orI'm gonna quit this or I'm gonna
(07:21):
quit that.
Oh, here we got this thinggoing.
And God's saying, no, no, no,this is not like that.
Just when malice grows up, justgive it to me.
You know, when this grows up,pluck it out, give it to me.
Um when envy, when you startenvying what everybody else has
got, just give it to me.
And uh confess it is wrong andwe'll move on and you'll grow.
(07:45):
And the more you do that, themore you grow.
I think uh our problem is we weturn every little thing into
this monstrous, like uh you justsaid, it's not an addiction,
it's not crack cocaine, youknow.
And I said on Sunday, it's likewe're not shaking in our bed uh
because we can't say anythingabout our mother-in-law, you
(08:06):
know, doing the sweats andwithdrawal and all that kind of
stuff.
No, this is this is God saying,Oh man, I got a lot for you
here.
I got a lot for you.
Let's get that out of the way.
SPEAKER_01 (08:20):
If if we figured out, I mean, this is it's really
an identity thing.
I am a co-heir with Christ.
I am a child of God.
I'm not my malice, I'm not myhypocrisy, I'm not my envy, then
those things it it's when Godsays, hey, we gotta deal with
(08:41):
it, it's not this full frontalattack, you know, an assault on
our character and who we are.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not who you are.
SPEAKER_03 (08:49):
Right.
You're a child of God.
It's gonna be easier to get ridof it if you'll just concentrate
on it than you think.
You are your identity is inJesus, and he don't see you any
other way.
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
That's right.
When I've had, you know, justdifferent situations over the
years pop up with my kids, youknow, you catch them in a in a
lie or you know, beingdeceitful, something like that.
I I've I have often told them,hey, that's not who you are.
This is inconsistent with whoyou are.
Because I want them to know I'mnot this thing, you know, and
(09:23):
it's easy to say, oh, you you'realways a you're always lying.
You're such a liar.
Well, that becomes an identitything.
Oh, I'm a liar.
That Jacob, right?
We talked about him.
Deceiver.
That's what you became known as.
To to be Jacob was to be adeceiver.
And so it becomes this wholeidentity thing.
And I want to separate thosethings for my kids.
(09:44):
No, you're not that thing.
Yeah.
Something you struggle with,something you were dishonest
about here, but that's not you.
It's inconsistent with who youare.
Because who you are is a truthteller.
Who you are is honest.
Who you are is is a respectable,respectable man who's growing in
the knowledge of God.
That's who you are.
(10:04):
These things are inconsistent.
And so now it makes sense thento say, well, we need to deal
with that.
SPEAKER_03 (10:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (10:12):
If this isn't who I am, if this is hindering my
growth, if it's inhibiting myrelationship with with God or
with my parents, with mysiblings, with with the people
I'm in community with, then itmakes sense for me to get rid of
this thing because it'sinconsistent.
SPEAKER_03 (10:27):
The first one, Malice, when we were talking
about, I think we didn't realizehow much we had.
And um where you would think,you know, I wish they would get
hurt.
Now it it's born out of Iremember watching the Christmas
story, you know, when um he saysa bad word while his dad's
(10:48):
changing the tire, and then hetells his mom he heard it from
so-and-so, and so she callsso-and-so's mom, and she freaks
out and starts whipping thatkid, and and um, but just makes
what's his name?
Do you remember Christmas storyname?
What's it what's his name?
It just flew out of my mind.
Richie's what's popping in myhead, but I don't know if that's
(11:10):
right.
Nah, it's not Richie.
Is Richie his little brother?
Might be.
Anyways, this guy.
Um this is terrible.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
We're missing our nostalgic Christmas movie trivia
here.
SPEAKER_03 (11:23):
They she she puts a bar of soap in his uh mouth and
and uh he's dreaming.
Okay, he's dreaming that he's hecomes back home after he's an
adult and you know, and he'sblind because they made him put
soap in his mouth, and you know,they're like, Oh, we're so
(11:44):
sorry.
That's malice.
And I I even as a kid wepractice it, that those dreams
where someone wronged you or youfelt like you got wronged, and
you dream up a fantasy about howthey get hurt, that's malice.
(12:04):
And we gotta control it.
And the reason we gotta controlit is because we live in this um
uh did you hear him chanting umabout the coach of of the
Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday?
The whole stadium was chantingfire, Tomlin.
(12:24):
Oh boy.
It was it was that's malice, youknow.
And we engage in it becausewe're like, yeah, that's how I
feel.
I just you know, I'll just jumpin.
We don't have a filter for it.
That's why we get so upset aboutpolitics and stuff like that.
I mean, you and I we can argueabout politics all day.
(12:44):
In the end, you get a vote, Iget a vote.
And if they're opposite, then wedidn't do nothing.
You can get all upset and jumpup and down, and and uh but
we've got unfortunately we'vegot um autopilot going on in the
in Congress and uh the WhiteHouse and they just do whatever
(13:06):
they're gonna do and and we wereap it.
So I don't know when that that'sgonna get fixed, but it's not
worth thinking you should die.
And we hear we hear that onYouTube and on the news all the
time.
You know, you guys, whichhappens to be Republican or
(13:27):
Democrat, you are this andyou're that and you hate and
you're a racist, and I mean yougo down to the whole thing, and
everybody's sitting there going,I I don't know what you're
talking about.
But they're like, We'd be betteroff without you.
That's malice.
We're letting some thing outhere influence us to want harm
(13:51):
on other people.
And uh we have to be we have tobe careful as Christians.
Our our identity is in JesusChrist and he has no malice at
all.
He has no even he cries for hisenemies.
He does.
He is uh he's hurt when they'rehurt even though they're his
(14:14):
enemies.
Doesn't mean he's not just,he'll always be just.
But we have to understand thatthat's not just who we serve,
that's our identity also.
unknown (14:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (14:27):
So watch out for that malice.
It it creeps up in uh footballgames and basketball games, and
and you say, well, that'sharmless.
I'm not really thinking that guyshould get hurt, but man, if he
did, we could win this series.
SPEAKER_01 (14:45):
In the series, you know, I'd win that fan duel or
whatever Meton thing, you know,like I'm not saying I want it to
happen, but I'd really get agood payout.
SPEAKER_03 (14:55):
But it's those things that we give license to
to lead us into thoughts aboutour family that did us wrong,
that mother-in-law who neveraccepted you, or your dad who
always looked down on you, orwhatever it is, um we don't we
don't want malice to creep in,but if you practice malice,
(15:19):
that's what I if you practicemalice on the football field,
you know, yeah man, I wish theirquarterback was hurt today, not
just today, you know, but thatkind of stuff, that's
practicing.
And you know, Joseph's brothers,they practice their malice.
Dad got them a new coat, hecomes down here telling us his
(15:40):
dreams, how he's gonna bow downto us, and all these years they
talked between themselves andthey practiced malice until
someone said, Let's kill 'em.
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
You usually don't start at let's kill them day
one.
Right.
You know, it it takes time.
And the some of these play intogether because uh, you know,
uh you see in Joseph'ssituation, you see in our
political uh environment slanderis thrown everywhere.
We're so loose with our tongues,and that it gets in there.
But then it it feeds this maliceuntil it grows, and you get to
(16:14):
that point, and you're just we'dbe better off if they were dead.
And we see people taking actionon that.
SPEAKER_03 (16:23):
Yeah, and let's let's not deceive ourselves.
You you stumble down tosomething malice because of
slander, because of envy, andnever um never confronting your
dad, always, yeah, Joseph's agreat guy, dad.
(16:44):
You're right.
No, dad, dad, he's a moron.
Dad, he's killing us.
Can you tell him to shut up?
You know?
Um that's deceit, that'shypocrisy.
They all tied together to gethim sold into slavery, right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:01):
It's it's a slippery slope for real, man.
Um and they they they do, theyall play in together in that I I
was I don't want to say shocked,um, but I guess almost
encouraged in a way, theresponse of from that sermon
week one, um, because it we gotto the end of the message and
(17:25):
you gave a a a call for peopleto to respond to what God was
saying to them.
And man, it was it was.
We didn't realize how much wasin us.
Um and it was encouraging to forfor me to see people say, Man, I
need to deal with this thing.
It's easy to to justify it awayand no, it's not that big of a
(17:46):
deal.
SPEAKER_03 (17:47):
It's just a game.
I I don't really mean that.
Yeah, you know, and then itcreeps in and gets focused on
your boss or someone you workwith that won't shut up and you
know, you just start thinkingthat way.
And then when your heart's thatway, you never know when um you
can be triggered.
Uh it's a bomb waiting to gooff, really, is what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (18:10):
So I I like how you were talking about it.
It you you practice malice andthen it it comes out in these
other areas, and you get to thatpoint and all of a sudden we
should do something to thembecomes you know, in the
beginning that's well, that'scrazy.
We we would never do that.
But you you practice it longenough and all of a sudden it's
like, I mean someone should dosomething, maybe I should do
(18:33):
something about that.
SPEAKER_03 (18:34):
Well, we saw it in Charlie Kirk.
We saw it when uh PresidentTrump got shot.
These people didn't expect thatto be in them, but they had
talked about it and they builtthat, they practiced, then all
of a sudden they're sayingthings that they had to take
down later.
I'm so glad he's dead, or I wishthey would have uh shot three
inches to the right or orwhatever it is.
(18:56):
And I think a lot of peoplelooked at their post and were
shocked.
Oh my gosh, what did I just say?
Yeah, and it that's that'sexactly what happened to Joseph.
And uh I think we need to uh askourselves, who do I secretly
hope gets what's coming to him?
You know?
And uh when those things comeup, just say, Lord, I confess
(19:20):
this is a sin and I forgivethem.
I forgive them, I hate them, Iforgive them.
I I I just they drive me crazy,but I forgive them.
I want you and what you havemore than I want for them to get
what's coming to them.
That's good.
And that's that's where we gottabe.
And then we go into this deceitand hypocrisy, which is wow.
(19:48):
I I don't know.
I don't even know how to I can'teven differentiate between my
mask anymore, you know.
I guess they should alleventually bleed together, but
sometimes my mask comes off andin in front of people who've
never seen that part of mebefore and they're looking at me
with their mouth hanging open.
What?
(20:08):
What did you just say?
And I'm like, I am not in thewrong group, wrong mask.
SPEAKER_01 (20:16):
These ones definitely I feel like they can
be the most draining, you know,because malice can feel good.
Yeah, you know, drink, but thesetwo, it is, it's that constant,
man.
I gotta have this mask.
And do I have the right mask?
And are am I presenting theright things to the right people
(20:39):
so that they think the rightthings?
SPEAKER_03 (20:42):
And it it drains you.
It's anxiety too.
I mean, you're anxious all thetime, and even if you're not
doing anything wrong at themoment, you can't relax because
of the guilt.
That's right.
You know, uh, if anybody knew Iwas doing this, well, that
doesn't turn off.
(21:03):
You don't get to turn off theswitch.
And did anybody see me?
Or, you know, how are they gonnafind out?
Are they gonna look at thehistory on my computer?
Or, you know, are they, youknow, what is this?
Or is my wife gonna get my phoneand open it up and see that text
and you know, all this kind ofguilt that just it robs your
(21:25):
life?
You're right, it just sucks,sucks you dry.
SPEAKER_01 (21:28):
Constantly walking on this balance beam, and you
can't ever stop focusing on it.
Because as soon as I I stopfocusing, and I look up for a
second and try to just take abreath, boom, you missed the
next step, and you haveeverything that you've been
trying to to build and protectand project, all of it comes
(21:48):
falling down in a moment.
Yeah, and it is it's exhausting.
I mean, just you know, if you'veif you're not used to working on
a ladder every day, and then youget up and you've spent some
time on a ladder and you comedown, your calves are all
cramped up, your thighs andknees are hurting, you know,
it's that like I I am justexhausted because I'm constantly
(22:11):
on edge, I'm constantly charged,trying to make sure I'm I'm
holding all the right stringsand the right mask and spinning
the right plates, and I justcan't ever just stop.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
And you know, it's it's um you you get confused and
then you realize I'm gettingconfused and I'm messing this up
with different groups of people,and you know you're confused.
So now you have this otheranxiety coming up, and then you
(22:47):
you bring in slander and peoplesay, Do you know did you know
what he said?
Now you've got to lie your wayout of what you said, and it uh
it's just too heavy.
It is it I think we just need toon next Thanksgiving, everybody
just lay on the ground and say,This is who I am.
It's not good, but it's outthere, and now I I don't care if
(23:11):
you know anymore.
I just this is who I am.
SPEAKER_01 (23:14):
It would be quite the way to start Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_03 (23:16):
It really would.
SPEAKER_01 (23:17):
Hey, everybody, before we eat, I'm just gonna
I'm gonna throw it all out here.
Um and and I don't know if thatthat's the right next step for
you.
Maybe get with the counselorfirst.
Yeah.
Um, but we we do.
We need to get ourselves to aplace where we can live
mask-free.
Um so we can grow.
You can grow.
You can, you know, it's it'staking that deep breath, you
(23:41):
know.
When you feel I don't know, thisis me and a cup only a couple of
my kids have inherited this fromme, but I I almost never feel
like I get a good breath, youknow.
People are all the time, wereyou getting ready to say
something?
No, I'm just struggling tryingto breathe over here.
Um, a couple of my kids got ittoo, but every now and then I
can fake myself into this yawnthing, and all of a sudden it
(24:04):
feels like my lungs fullyinflate and I get this good
breath.
And it's it's that feeling whenyou can take all this off and
and just be you, and you'relike, I don't have to pretend
anymore.
I don't have to struggle withthis anymore.
SPEAKER_03 (24:22):
And I I think the I love what you said about
hypocrisy, and we tied these twotogether, but you said it's
performing, performing yourrighteousness.
If you're gonna perform, justpractice it.
You know, it's it's just it's amental step from I need to act
(24:45):
like a Christian because I'maround Christians that people
believe I'm a Christian.
Just act like a Christian.
Practice it.
You know, be that.
Step into it, embrace it.
Um when we start when we startdoing that, and it's a
narrowing, we've got lots ofmasks, you know, it's a
(25:07):
narrowing of it, trying to bringthem all together to what you
are as a follower of Jesus thatdoesn't always do everything
right or say everything right,but that's who I am.
I'm a follower of him.
SPEAKER_01 (25:19):
What you just said, I think, is so important because
performance and practice are twodifferent things.
And a performance is I'm actingout something that I don't even
believe about myself.
Right.
You know, uh that's what actorsdo on stage.
I'm acting, but this isn't who Iam.
Practice is you're practicing,however imperfectly, who you're
(25:44):
trying to be.
You know, I was in football,went to practice, I was the
quarterback.
So what did I do?
I practiced things thatquarterbacks do.
And I was not Tom Brady.
I wasn't the perfectquarterback, but I was doing the
things that Tom Brady's coachwould have him do because I'm
practicing being a quarterback.
That little shift fromperformance to practice, one is,
(26:08):
and the reason it's so drainingfor you is because you you
believe it's deep down that'snot who you are.
And I'm just acting this out.
I'm trying to get everybody tobelieve.
But if you'll switch fromperformance to practice, and now
it becomes man, I'm not doingthis perfectly, but I'm taking
steps because this is who I havebeen called to be.
(26:29):
This is who I am.
God has adopted me as his son orhis daughter, and these are the
things that children of the kingdo.
And so I'm doing this, and indoing that, I'm living out the
truest thing about me.
Right.
And I don't get it right all thetime, but this is the truest
thing about me is that I'm achild of the king.
And when I take these steps, andI don't want to take this step,
(26:51):
and I didn't want to get upearly today, I didn't want to
show up for two days, and Ididn't want to lift those
weights.
I didn't want to do all thosethings, but I'm doing it because
that's what a child of the kingdoes.
SPEAKER_03 (27:00):
And that's so important.
Take the explanation he justgave, even if you have to rewind
it, and then ask yourself thisquestion where am I performing
faith instead of living it?
unknown (27:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (27:14):
And uh that'll help you.
And I think you'll it's justit's a it's a mental step that
you that you get together.
They're so close together,right?
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
So close.
Why not practice instead ofperform?
Absolutely.
Why not?
And in that you'll find so muchfreedom.
Um then there comes envy.
Yeah, buddy.
I'm this is something that Iknow I I have grown.
I don't want to say I've grownout of, but I've definitely
(27:46):
grown in this area, butdefinitely something I have
wrestled with.
Um, looking out and saying, man,I want what they have.
I when we were on the podcast,oh, I think that would have been
last week, I talked about Pat'struck.
When Pat bought that big oldtruck, I was like, oh, golly, I
want good news is he sold thattruck this week.
(28:09):
He told me he says I couldn'thave you, you know, being all
envious.
I went and sold it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:14):
Everybody wants a big dooley till they have to
park it somewhere.
SPEAKER_01 (28:18):
Or or fill up the gas tank.
Right.
Or change brakes.
He said the brakes on that thingwere gonna be eight thousand
dollars.
He's like, I'll just sell it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:26):
Well, I don't blame you, man.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think um envy when you get tothe point where it causes you
pain when someone else gets ablessing, um you you gotta do
something drastic.
Yep.
Yeah, you gotta start yourThanksgiving journal and um
(28:49):
practice Thanksgiving daily, umthanking God for your family and
what you do have.
Um we you don't want to get inthat position where when someone
else gets a blessing, you youhurt.
Right.
That's a I I don't even know.
That's a I'm not an enviousperson um personality-wise.
(29:12):
I do envy, you know.
I make a date out of it and wego to the boat show and I envy
there and and uh but I thinkthere's some people out there
that uh it just that I'm missingout.
Why, why God would you blessthem and not me?
And God says, Well, this is notabout performance.
(29:35):
If you put that envy down, I canmake you content, but I'm not
gonna do it with that envy inthere.
If I put my envy down, will youmake me content with what he's
got?
No, that's the same that's notputting it down.
And uh it's a it's a struggle.
Um, and I know it is, and I knowI you know, I look at our church
(29:57):
and I I don't see a lot of thatgoing on.
unknown (29:59):
But
SPEAKER_01 (30:00):
then I'm you know I got rose colored glasses when I
look at a fresh win but I don'twant I don't want you to get
into this mess where otherpeople that do great you can't
celebrate that because there'sthere's no joy in life and
that's I I would say that's thearea I've grown the most in is
in my when it comes to envy ismy ability to to celebrate and
(30:22):
rejoice with those who are whoare rejoicing.
You know when when I see thepeople I love get what they want
or or achieve something it I'vegotten to the point in my life
where that fills me with joy.
I love seeing those people getthose great things.
I mean and if they get a new carand man we're driving a beater
(30:44):
minivan I I'm not sitting herethinking oh man if if I I've
gotten to the point wherethankfully I when they get that
I'm like oh man that is awesomeI love that for you and can I
tell you I've not always beenthere and being on this side is
so refreshing because it isit'll drain you when when every
(31:06):
time something happens tosomeone else you feel pain man
that it's it is and I'm speakingfrom experience here it is a
horrible way to live because youcan't enjoy anything.
SPEAKER_03 (31:27):
You begin to obsess and get bitter and eventually
it'll destroy you.
Envy is you'll learn to hatelike you've never hated before
just because of envy.
And I I worry about that in thisthis whole equity thing in our
(31:47):
country that's been bouncingaround for the last ten years,
ten, fifteen years.
Um it's not I want what theywant it's I don't want anybody
to have anything better than me.
You know, drag them down.
It it's not like I no I want tobe like them.
(32:08):
No no no no no I want to drageverybody down to me and that's
that's where envy starts gettingcontrol of you.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
Another prime example of one that feeds right
into these other things rightbecause if I'm envious then
malice begins to grow because Iwant what you have and I not
only that I don't want you tohave it and so now feelings of
of malice begin to grow whereI'm like oh what if I took it
what if I what I want I wishsomething would happen and take
(32:40):
that from them so they didn'thave what I have and then
slander builds into it.
And you know you that that uhpassage you used on Sunday um in
that sermon on slander here's aguy who says man I really want
that garden or was it a gardenvineyard?
I think it's a garden uh he goesI I really want that and then
they built right into slanderwhich grows in malice and now
(33:04):
some guy's dead right for somedirt.
We're talking about dirt allthese things begin to feed right
into it if we don't put somechecks in to say hey what what
am I allowing to to grow here doI do I really want to have those
thoughts do I really want tothink this way do I really want
to to feel this way when whensomeone else gets that promotion
(33:27):
or gets that raise and yeah manI was working really hard for it
and they got picked ahead of meI've known men whose kids got a
good job or done better somehowsomehow and were upset.
SPEAKER_03 (33:43):
Isn't that crazy?
And that's that's what it'll doto you.
It's gonna twist you um I wastalking about the word Avan um
which means uh twisted no doesthat one mean anyways there's
three three words about sin oneis missing the mark uh one is um
(34:06):
wickedness doing what's wrongyou know it's wrong and you did
it anyways and the other one istwisted and uh I always use the
example of the Nineveh theNineveh knew that their God
wanted them to sacrificechildren and they're like what
we're not doing that and someonesaid well let's just go get the
(34:26):
Israelite children and we'llsacrifice them oh there you go
win win right and they thoughtthey were doing good that's
twisted and envy will do that toyou you'll start to be thinking
no it's good if he fails it'sgood if he hurts it's good if he
(34:48):
loses everything and that willtwist you and it won't stay
there it'll start um drillingdown into your life and twist
you up to where you don't knowyou'll think uh right is wrong
and wrong is right and so wehave to be we have to be very
careful with them because itgrows but the problem is or the
(35:10):
great thing is it's so easy tofix it get up in the morning and
tell God you're thankful forfive things every morning and
it'll fill you with joy and italways does you can you can
break envy's back by justremembering to thank God every
(35:30):
morning.
SPEAKER_01 (35:32):
Here's how true this is because this is I saw a
comedian talking about thissecular comedian not a Christian
comedian he says my therapistprescribed me gratitude which
really ticked me off that itworks because here I thought I
was messed up and all I had todo was say well it's not really
that bad and my brain goes huh Inever thought of it that way and
(35:55):
I'm like if you only knew thespiritual truth of what you're
saying right now.
You know he he doesn't even havethat perspective but his
therapist said dude it ain'tthat bad.
Just be grateful right starthaving some gratitude and he
goes it works I'm ticked offthat it works because all I had
(36:16):
to do I thought I was messed upI thought I could blame this on
all this other no I'm justungrateful if you will wake up
every morning do what you'retalking about God I thank you
thank you start that gratitudejournal and just write down
every day three four five thingsthat you're grateful for it'll
it'll begin to break break envyfrom you.
SPEAKER_03 (36:36):
It sure will and I tell you what you'll be free and
you'll have joy you'll beexcited about when people win
and you'll be able to celebratewith them.
You know God's our our God is acelebrating God.
He he's got all these differentcelebrations no we're gonna
we're gonna remember this onthis day and we're gonna have a
party and not only a party it'sgonna be a week long right while
(37:00):
we're pulling out all the stops.
And um you want to you want tobe able to celebrate um every
time someone's saved there's acelebration in heaven and uh we
want to be we want to be peoplewho can step right into that and
um and enjoy other people's goodthings good blessings that
(37:20):
happen to them.
And not only that scripture saysthat God sings over you I mean
that's that's who he is he is inthe celebratory mode over his
children and man if we couldLord let just let us experience
what that's like break us freeof that envy um and then uh this
(37:40):
past Sunday um you talked aboutslander and man just another
rough one I spent the weekthinking how many times have I
aligned myself with the deviland uh it's it's been a struggle
uh just confessing over and overagain to the Lord that my um
(38:05):
that my everyday life wouldactually align myself with what
the devil is trying to do andman and it was a it was a punch
in the mouth I was afraid topreach it I was afraid to get up
there and say okay we're alldoing this I'm doing it you're
doing it and we just need tostop and everybody stop speaking
(38:28):
and let's just uh I don't knowwhat we can do and just think
about it it's hard especiallyyou know as pastors you and I we
discuss people for projects forwhatever and there's always a
well what about this and thensuddenly it's like well okay we
(38:50):
got to be very careful that wedon't cross the line and come up
with as Alan would say more thanI know that is you you said it
on Sunday um but one of thegreatest things that you have
taught me is don't know what youshouldn't know.
SPEAKER_01 (39:11):
And I honestly I'm terrible at it I I remember um
there was a time when I showedup at your house for some party
and someone I don't even want togive all the names again but
someone was pregnant and Ishowed up and I had known they
were having a boy and I thinkthis was the gender reveal party
(39:32):
I was late to the party Ithought that part was over and I
show up and give them a big hughey congrats on the little guy
or something like that and everyyou know a couple people stand
there in the kitchen looking atme like what is wrong with you
I'm like apparently that was thewrong time it is not good to
(39:52):
know what you shouldn't know.
So I tell Joy all the time justdon't tell me like unless I have
to know just don't tell me rightand that honestly it has been
freeing because then when peoplecome up and did you hear I
didn't hear and I can say thatand I'm truthful you know um it
it's and it it trains you're sofree all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (40:15):
Now I watched a pastor one time try to lead his
church by intercepting thegossip and then preaching
sermons about what was going onand trying to do that.
And I said I said to him I saidwhy don't we just plow right
through and not care whatanybody says until they come and
tell us to our face and whenthey come and say well didn't
(40:38):
you hear about this and I andjust say oh I thought that was
gossip.
Because people would tellcertain people because they knew
those people would come to thepastor I was so confused.
Yeah how do we I was like Pastorhow do we how do we do this this
way?
Because we don't even know ifthey're telling us the truth.
SPEAKER_01 (40:58):
That's yeah an absolutely terrible way to lead
um because you don't know and itit is best to just go ahead and
say unless this person has comeand expressed it to me we're
gonna act as if that has notbeen said.
Right and and it just it is abetter way it keeps you from
getting tied into all theseknots and and and then it's so
(41:18):
easy for people to play onemotions and manipulate you as a
leader.
Even if you're not a pastor Imean if you your kids will do
this to you if you if you behavethat way.
And you can't run a businessyour employees yep we'll do it
to you you you cannot makedecisions based off of off of
gossip.
And it is I mean I I rememberyou were was it in the joyful
(41:43):
series um but you were you weretalking in one of the sermons
just about how God's doing somegreat things in our church the
one of the quickest ways thatthe devil will shut this down is
is through disunity.
Getting us to be ununified andone of the number one ways you
can do that is start gossip.
(42:04):
Right.
Start talking about each otherstart talking about things um
and it'll it'll shut down thegrowth of a church immediately.
SPEAKER_03 (42:12):
Yeah and it's easy to talk about things um where
people fail you you know and uhone thing I was teaching you
about leadership and you'restill having a real hard time
with it is if you get 80% ofwhat you want you it's a win.
It's a win.
(42:33):
I'm fighting for that last 20%man you do you do.
But you know we're in avolunteer organization and
you're asking people to dothings and you want them to be
able to do it without youmonitoring them all the time and
if you get 80% of what you wantthen it's a win.
You just need to embrace thatand go yeah but I don't like the
(42:54):
way they set up the chairs ifthey would just set up the
chairs like just drop it.
Just drop it but that's that'swhat we do and that's how we can
leak into gossip and then gossipalways leads to slander.
If you don't clean it up you'llyou'll start slandering someone
(43:14):
you'll want to hurt them you'llwant to hurt them and um and
hurt their relationship and uhtheir relationships and their
reputation so it's it'sbasically spiritual murder but
you just don't murder oneperson.
You are standing in front of Godand saying I am going to defy
(43:35):
you and I'm gonna talk aboutyour people your bride right to
your face I am just I knowyou're watching and I'm gonna
talk about your bride toeveryone look look that doesn't
go well here on the planet it'snot gonna go well in heaven so I
(43:56):
think we don't understand thisaccusing thing because God talks
about slander different than hetalks about malice.
SPEAKER_01 (44:08):
It's uh I've got a real problem with this children
this is something that I raiseup off the throne about and uh I
think it's important for us torealize his he is not gonna let
anybody destroy his image bearshe's gonna not let anybody stop
(44:29):
the unity uh it invites God'sdiscipline when you stand up and
say I'm gonna be a slandererwhich is the word diablos which
is also translated devil justsome of the scripture passages
you read um during that sermonit is clear God is like no I'm
(44:50):
not putting up with that uh Ithink one of them said I will
destroy you it's like okay areyou sure you want the God who
spoke and things came into beingto be your enemy like are you
are are you prepared for thatyou know and he says no no no I
I will destroy you I oppose youif this is the stance you take
(45:15):
man that's that's a rough placeto be and I mean just imagine
standing before God and sayinghey God love you hate your wife
like yeah how do you thinkthat's gonna go try saying that
to me I mean I I love Jesus I'llknock you I'll I'll try again I
drive a traverse so I don't knowhow that'll go but I will try
(45:36):
I'm not gonna put up with it youcan say whatever you want about
me don't you dare talk about mywife imagine standing before God
love you hate your hate yourwife he he won't put up with it
and we are the bride of Christthis is his church and people we
need and we shouldn't beslandering anyone we shouldn't
be gossiping about anyone but mygoodness when it comes to the
(45:58):
church the bride of Christlisten people not in your prayer
meetings not in your life groupsnot we need to be so careful um
that we do not fall into thisbecause it it'll just crush the
unity of the church and Jesussaid it is our unity that proves
to the world that we are hisdisciples I think the you know
(46:23):
the scripture verse that weended up at on on Sunday um
first Peter chapter three if youwant to love life and see good
days keep your tongue from eviltwo things I I pull out of that
number one if you if you'retrading just talking about
(46:47):
someone getting getting somebodyjust to listen to you because
this person's driving you crazyyou know you're you're gonna
take that and give up a goodlife for it.
SPEAKER_03 (47:02):
That's that's what the scripture is promising.
If you want to love your lifedon't do that.
You know and then the fact thatthe scripture in the old
testament and the new testamentsays this is evil you know it
doesn't it doesn't say it's umshoot I wish I'd I can get that
(47:27):
study in my head.
The three different types of sinyou know it doesn't say that it
says this is evil.
This is what the devil does andum I know gossip starts out
harmless but you're just you'rejust saying you know they got me
the same present they got melast year for Christmas.
(47:49):
And they didn't realize it.
You know it's it starts out thatway until you know they hurt
your feelings doing somethingelse and then it starts moving
closer to that slander thing andyou're gonna set yourself up
against God without even meaningto and it it's it's a real
(48:11):
slander or gossip is a realslippery slope and and where
you're going is slander whereyou're actually trying to to
hurt somebody and uh if youcould not do it the first time
then you will never get there.
And like I said before thesethings are envy is a tough habit
(48:33):
to break gossip is a is a toughhabit to break but it's not you
know heroin addiction.
He's not asking much.
SPEAKER_01 (48:46):
Hey don't don't do that and you'll grow and be
happy and full of joy it's noteven giving up cigarettes.
Right when you catch yourselfjust stop yeah pull an Allen
I've already told you more thanI know I need to stop right
here.
Um it is as simple as that manum in in scripture it is just so
(49:10):
clear.
I mean Proverbs says death andlife are in the power of the
tongue.
SPEAKER_03 (49:16):
Yeah we should treat every word as a seed and will
this seed produce life or willit produce death produce death
that's what James tells us andwe need I know nobody talks
about this anymore because Imean how would YouTube get paid?
I mean how I how would it work?
(49:38):
How would society work ifeverybody just stopped their
tongue and um I think it'd be Ithink it'd be a richer and
better place if if everybodysaid you know what that hurt my
feelings I'm gonna go talk tothem about it.
Because they'd expect you not tobe defensive.
They would expect you to say I'msorry what can I do to fix it?
(50:02):
You know well can you not dothat anymore?
Probably 90% of the time but Ijust feel like I'm gonna do it
again.
So can I go ahead and say I'msorry now you know um but when
we're working together in thatunity that's one thing but when
we're getting our circle againsttheir circle that is that's
(50:25):
gonna destroy us and that's theSatan's plan for all God's
church.
But the great thing is thatHebrews chapter 12 says when God
comes after you over thesethings it's not to punish you
it's not to I'm gonna get youback for what you've done it's
gonna be you're missing outright I've got some great things
(50:47):
for you this is this is justdumb don't do this I've got more
for you you don't need this Igot more for you this will never
satisfy you I can let me do thatso I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
let you do that.
SPEAKER_01 (51:06):
I'm not gonna let you get in that position it's
the same thing as when your kidwants to play in the highway you
know no that's not gonna endwell come play in the driveway
I'll put a car across the end ofthe driveway and you guys can
just go crazy right here andwe'll have snacks and pizza and
(51:27):
movie night and the whole thingand we won't end up in the
emergency room you know andthat's that but a lot of people
you know defy that and say youknow what I'm just let's just go
to the emergency room and theLord says well that's what you
want here we go and we have athis this is not as big a deal
(51:47):
as we make it out to be now ifwe could step back and just talk
about the exchange that you youlaid out there just a few
minutes ago would I give up alife that I love for that thing
and if we would see all theseinteractions that way would I
give up a life I love just tomake them hurt?
(52:09):
Of course not wouldn't do that.
Would I give up a life I lovejust to say this juicy bit of
gossip no I mean how silly thethe problem man we we are so
bullheaded man we just plowright into these things right
without ever stopping to to lookback take a step back and be
like what am I giving up in allthis the weird thing is we get
(52:33):
defensive about it too.
SPEAKER_03 (52:35):
What well I'm right so right so what's a big deal
you're right and you know itit's a tough thing if you if you
said I'll give you a milliondollars if that person that you
can't stand gets 10 you okaywith that well let me think
(52:56):
through this it's like they'llget 10 is that fair well wait a
minute I'm gonna give you fivebut they're gonna get 10 um shut
up and take the five right likethat's what we're talking about
here just shut up take the fiveand and live a great life I I
(53:19):
don't know and we make it a bigdeal I made it a big deal when
we started this series when Icame to you and I said hey like
oh boy I was like I think theLord wants us to to preach on
this and I don't I I don't wannaand um you're like well if you
think the Lord's calling us topreach on this you go first yeah
(53:43):
you go first and you wrap it upthat way the last the first
thing people see is you the lastthing people see is you and
they'll remember Tim Tim taughtus this right um no man you know
there's there's not very manytimes you come to me and say hey
I think we need to preach onthis um you know you I over the
years I've kind of got to pick alot of the servants and we do a
(54:04):
lot of it together but you knowI've I've had the freedom kind
of to do those things and um sowhen you said man the Lord I
think the Lord's saying we needto talk about this I was like
man we need to lean into thatthen um and this is man it it's
felt heavy at times but man ifif we would just say Lord I'm
I'm not gonna fight you on it Ijust want to cooperate with you
(54:27):
because I believe that there'smore you have more for me and
what you have is more importantthan this this envy this thing
this grudge that I've developedyou know this this thing that I
that I just gotta share becauseyou know it's gonna hurt them
what you have is more it'sbetter and if we would get
(54:49):
ourselves to believe that um andwhen God corrects you on this
stuff and he will all the timehe'll he'll correct you and you
find yourself in a situation boyI should have kept my mouth shut
or I should have took my maskoff these my small group should
have known who I was in thefirst place um if you if God's
(55:11):
correcting you in that situationhe's not rejecting you he's
refining you that's right hegoes you know what you can
receive more blessings if yougrow into this and the more you
grow the more blessings the moreyour roots go deeper they get
more food you get more sunshineit's just growth opens your life
(55:36):
and if you want to love life andsee good days keep your tongue
from evil keep your heart cleanthis is probably something that
every time we have a communionthat in our heads we should say
all right we're getting ready tohave communion I need to where
am I failing in these thesesituations?
(55:57):
And uh but I tell you what ifyou do the envy thing and just
get up in the morning and thankGod you'll live in joy and once
you get to see the difference ofthat life and the life you're
living now your enemy will bemalice, hypocrisy, envy, deceit,
(56:19):
and uh slander.
They will be your enemy becauseyou'll realize this is what I
experienced when I wasn'tinvolved in that stuff.
And when I am involved in thatstuff that goes away and you'll
get jealous of a happy life.
SPEAKER_01 (56:37):
You know it makes me think of there's this old Jewish
rabbi who was talking about theTen Commandments not Peter's
list here but he saidcommandment number ten is is
more of a promise than it is acommand that if you'll do the
first nine you won't want anyoneelse's life.
Right so commandment number 10thou shalt not covet and he says
(56:59):
if you'll do the first nine youwon't want anyone else's life
because you will you will have alife that God can bless you'll
have a rich satisfying abundantlife life to the full you will
love your life and all you gotto do is start pulling these
things out.
When you catch yourself stopspeaking you know when when
(57:19):
you're all fired up oh man LordI'm just you know what I'm I'm
grateful for all that you'vedone you start doing those
things and man you won't wantanyone else's life you'll live a
life that God can bless and youwill grow.
SPEAKER_03 (57:34):
Pastin will you pray for us well Lord I I want to
thank you for us uh leading usto preach on this and um I'm
also really grateful we're doneI never liked weed in the flower
beds uh but sometimes it's gotto be done I want to thank you
(57:55):
for that thank you that um thisis something that refines us and
makes us better and moreequipped to receive your
blessings and to live in joy.
We want to love our life and wewant to see good days.
So Lord I pray that you'll keepus hunting these things in our
life so that we can rip themout.
(58:17):
And we can be the person thatyou want us to be but more than
that that you can give us whatyou want to give us in Jesus'
name.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (58:26):
Thanks again for joining us for this episode of
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(58:49):
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of the Midweek Podcast, broughtto you by a Fresh Wind Church.
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Today's episode is hosted byPastor Ryan.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Well, hey, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast.
Pastor Ryan joined as alwayswith Pastor Tim.
And today we are wrapping up ourseries Grow.
And we've been talking aboutremoving five different poisons
that that Peter list in uh inhis letter.
And Tim, this has been it's beenlike a boxing match every week,
(00:51):
man.
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
It has.
And you guys just get to hear iton Sunday, but we gotta wrestle
with it all through the weektrying to figure out how to help
us through.
And uh but you know, these arethe type of things that we gotta
do.
And as pastors, sometimes uh wegotta preach the correction.
And uh this is one of thosethings, though, that we have to
(01:12):
our mindset has got to be I wantto be free.
I want everything that God hasfor me, and uh, I want to grow,
I want to know him more, I wantthe power of his resurrection,
the fellowship of his suffering.
I want it all.
Just I want it all.
And Peter said, If well, if youwant it all, you gotta get rid
(01:33):
of these things right here.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
You know, it kind of reminds me you've shared that
story about that shirt that youloved.
Um showing up to pick Teresa upin it, and she said, Don't you
ever pick me up in that shirtagain?
And because you love Teresa,you'll get rid of the shirt.
Well, at least you won't pickher up in the shirt again.
Do you still have that shirt?
I gave it to my nephew.
So he can pick up his girlfriendin that shirt.
SPEAKER_03 (01:56):
That's right.
He loved it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:58):
You know, there's there's these things that if if
we say, Man, I I love Jesus, Iwant all that he has for me, um,
then I should be willing to laysome things down.
And and these things here, Petersays, Man, we we gotta we gotta
get rid of them.
So in 1 Peter chapter 2, he helists these five things that'll
stunt our growth.
(02:19):
Um, as believers, malice,deceit, hypocrisy, envy,
slander.
Um he says, Man, we we we gottawe gotta uproot these things.
If we want to grow, these thingshave to have to be dealt with.
And man, it it was a toughseries because it these are
things, especially this probablythe world over, but I think in
(02:41):
America, we so much of this hasjust become our culture, who we
are.
I mean, envy, it it's baked intoeverything.
Slander.
You talked about this pastSunday, how every political ad,
that's all they are.
SPEAKER_03 (02:56):
Right.
Slander, you know.
You really got to dig to findtruth in those political ads.
SPEAKER_01 (03:01):
Um it's everywhere, man.
And so malice, deceit,everything is like, oh, every
week it was.
It was just that gut punch ofoh, because we know it's in
there.
Right.
It's easy for you know, when wetalk about, you know, drug
addiction or something, we we'relike, oh, I don't struggle with
that.
We're talking about otherpeople, right?
(03:23):
This has been four sermons backto back to back of like, oh no,
that one, that's me.
Um, and definitely there'sthings that we struggle with
more.
Um, but man, all of thesethings, if we all got
introspective enough, we'd say,Man, I I wrestle with some of
this.
Um, and what you said on SundayI thought was so good.
(03:45):
Because you said God'sdiscipline is not punishment,
right?
It's his grace.
SPEAKER_03 (03:51):
It's it's important to to see that that way.
Um, you don't know what thesethings are keeping you from
experiencing.
You just don't know.
But he does.
And if he needs to uh punish youor get you to um to come to him
and confess these things and gethim out of your life, he's gonna
(04:11):
do what's necessary to do thatbecause he wants you to have
your best life.
unknown (04:15):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (04:16):
And uh we need to look at his discipline as love
and grace, because that's whatit is.
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
Well that scripture comes right out and says it,
right?
God disciplines those he loves.
I I've told people, man, if thethe moment you stop experiencing
God's discipline, that's whenyou need to be worried.
SPEAKER_03 (04:34):
Yeah.
Right?
Um it's important because weharden our hearts to it and uh
we don't know uh what we'redoing uh when we do that.
And sometimes the Lord, hisdiscipline is just to give you
what you want, just to let envyhave its way and let you roll
around in discontentment foryears because you won't choose
him over it.
(04:55):
Or uh slander, uh, same thing.
It's sometimes he'll just giveyou what you want.
Everybody finds out.
No, don't talk to them, don't betheir friend.
You can't trust them.
Hey, let me tell you about them.
And that's because you slanderedand now everybody's slandering
you.
Uh it's it's just one of thosethings that sometimes God says,
(05:15):
okay, you're gonna choose thatover me, you can have it all.
And um, and then when you comecrawling back, we'll we'll we'll
discuss this again.
So it's all about uhexperiencing what God wants for
you, what he has for you.
And um Peter's saying thesethings poison that.
(05:36):
If you're getting if you'replanted in good soil and you're
being watered and warmed by thesun, Jesus Christ, you're gonna
grow.
It's just a natural thing.
But these things um inhibit yourgrowth, so you need to get them
out.
If it's uh red dye 42 orwhatever it is, or uh too much
sugar or whatever it is, you gotto get rid of it if you're gonna
(05:58):
get in shape and experience whatGod wants you to uh experience.
SPEAKER_01 (06:03):
That was another great thing I thought you
brought out on Sunday was youwere meant to grow, right?
It's natural to grow.
And we feel we look at thesethings like, oh man, it's this
battle and I gotta fight againstit.
And yeah, they need to come out.
But the most natural thing isfor you to grow.
Right.
If you are rooted in Christ,you're going to grow.
(06:24):
A tree, you know, a seed plantedin him produces good fruit.
That's the natural byproduct ofbeing planted in good soil.
Um, and so you you don't have toto struggle and fight.
You just need to cooperate.
SPEAKER_03 (06:38):
That's it.
SPEAKER_01 (06:38):
And there's sometimes he's gonna come along
and say, Oh, hey, we've got alittle bit of malice growing up
here.
Let's let's let's weed that out.
SPEAKER_03 (06:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (06:45):
And that's gonna, and if you'll cooperate with
him, he's gonna help you cleanthat up and you'll keep growing.
SPEAKER_03 (06:51):
And you'll keep growing.
SPEAKER_01 (06:52):
Um, so the the big thing here is is that
cooperation, but man, it hasfelt heavy every week.
SPEAKER_03 (06:59):
I think I think it's because we don't look at it as
weed in the garden.
We look at it as, you know,changing my life, you know.
And uh changing life, uh, weautomatically say that's hard.
Okay, I'm gonna lose someweight.
Well, I'm gonna get in shape.
Well, I'm gonna quit drinking orI'm gonna quit this or I'm gonna
(07:21):
quit that.
Oh, here we got this thinggoing.
And God's saying, no, no, no,this is not like that.
Just when malice grows up, justgive it to me.
You know, when this grows up,pluck it out, give it to me.
Um when envy, when you startenvying what everybody else has
got, just give it to me.
And uh confess it is wrong andwe'll move on and you'll grow.
(07:45):
And the more you do that, themore you grow.
I think uh our problem is we weturn every little thing into
this monstrous, like uh you justsaid, it's not an addiction,
it's not crack cocaine, youknow.
And I said on Sunday, it's likewe're not shaking in our bed uh
because we can't say anythingabout our mother-in-law, you
(08:06):
know, doing the sweats andwithdrawal and all that kind of
stuff.
No, this is this is God saying,Oh man, I got a lot for you
here.
I got a lot for you.
Let's get that out of the way.
SPEAKER_01 (08:20):
If if we figured out, I mean, this is it's really
an identity thing.
I am a co-heir with Christ.
I am a child of God.
I'm not my malice, I'm not myhypocrisy, I'm not my envy, then
those things it it's when Godsays, hey, we gotta deal with
(08:41):
it, it's not this full frontalattack, you know, an assault on
our character and who we are.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not who you are.
SPEAKER_03 (08:49):
Right.
You're a child of God.
It's gonna be easier to get ridof it if you'll just concentrate
on it than you think.
You are your identity is inJesus, and he don't see you any
other way.
SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
That's right.
When I've had, you know, justdifferent situations over the
years pop up with my kids, youknow, you catch them in a in a
lie or you know, beingdeceitful, something like that.
I I've I have often told them,hey, that's not who you are.
This is inconsistent with whoyou are.
Because I want them to know I'mnot this thing, you know, and
(09:23):
it's easy to say, oh, you you'realways a you're always lying.
You're such a liar.
Well, that becomes an identitything.
Oh, I'm a liar.
That Jacob, right?
We talked about him.
Deceiver.
That's what you became known as.
To to be Jacob was to be adeceiver.
And so it becomes this wholeidentity thing.
And I want to separate thosethings for my kids.
(09:44):
No, you're not that thing.
Yeah.
Something you struggle with,something you were dishonest
about here, but that's not you.
It's inconsistent with who youare.
Because who you are is a truthteller.
Who you are is honest.
Who you are is is a respectable,respectable man who's growing in
the knowledge of God.
That's who you are.
(10:04):
These things are inconsistent.
And so now it makes sense thento say, well, we need to deal
with that.
SPEAKER_03 (10:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (10:12):
If this isn't who I am, if this is hindering my
growth, if it's inhibiting myrelationship with with God or
with my parents, with mysiblings, with with the people
I'm in community with, then itmakes sense for me to get rid of
this thing because it'sinconsistent.
SPEAKER_03 (10:27):
The first one, Malice, when we were talking
about, I think we didn't realizehow much we had.
And um where you would think,you know, I wish they would get
hurt.
Now it it's born out of Iremember watching the Christmas
story, you know, when um he saysa bad word while his dad's
(10:48):
changing the tire, and then hetells his mom he heard it from
so-and-so, and so she callsso-and-so's mom, and she freaks
out and starts whipping thatkid, and and um, but just makes
what's his name?
Do you remember Christmas storyname?
What's it what's his name?
It just flew out of my mind.
Richie's what's popping in myhead, but I don't know if that's
(11:10):
right.
Nah, it's not Richie.
Is Richie his little brother?
Might be.
Anyways, this guy.
Um this is terrible.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
We're missing our nostalgic Christmas movie trivia
here.
SPEAKER_03 (11:23):
They she she puts a bar of soap in his uh mouth and
and uh he's dreaming.
Okay, he's dreaming that he's hecomes back home after he's an
adult and you know, and he'sblind because they made him put
soap in his mouth, and you know,they're like, Oh, we're so
(11:44):
sorry.
That's malice.
And I I even as a kid wepractice it, that those dreams
where someone wronged you or youfelt like you got wronged, and
you dream up a fantasy about howthey get hurt, that's malice.
(12:04):
And we gotta control it.
And the reason we gotta controlit is because we live in this um
uh did you hear him chanting umabout the coach of of the
Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday?
The whole stadium was chantingfire, Tomlin.
(12:24):
Oh boy.
It was it was that's malice, youknow.
And we engage in it becausewe're like, yeah, that's how I
feel.
I just you know, I'll just jumpin.
We don't have a filter for it.
That's why we get so upset aboutpolitics and stuff like that.
I mean, you and I we can argueabout politics all day.
(12:44):
In the end, you get a vote, Iget a vote.
And if they're opposite, then wedidn't do nothing.
You can get all upset and jumpup and down, and and uh but
we've got unfortunately we'vegot um autopilot going on in the
in Congress and uh the WhiteHouse and they just do whatever
(13:06):
they're gonna do and and we wereap it.
So I don't know when that that'sgonna get fixed, but it's not
worth thinking you should die.
And we hear we hear that onYouTube and on the news all the
time.
You know, you guys, whichhappens to be Republican or
(13:27):
Democrat, you are this andyou're that and you hate and
you're a racist, and I mean yougo down to the whole thing, and
everybody's sitting there going,I I don't know what you're
talking about.
But they're like, We'd be betteroff without you.
That's malice.
We're letting some thing outhere influence us to want harm
(13:51):
on other people.
And uh we have to be we have tobe careful as Christians.
Our our identity is in JesusChrist and he has no malice at
all.
He has no even he cries for hisenemies.
He does.
He is uh he's hurt when they'rehurt even though they're his
(14:14):
enemies.
Doesn't mean he's not just,he'll always be just.
But we have to understand thatthat's not just who we serve,
that's our identity also.
unknown (14:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (14:27):
So watch out for that malice.
It it creeps up in uh footballgames and basketball games, and
and you say, well, that'sharmless.
I'm not really thinking that guyshould get hurt, but man, if he
did, we could win this series.
SPEAKER_01 (14:45):
In the series, you know, I'd win that fan duel or
whatever Meton thing, you know,like I'm not saying I want it to
happen, but I'd really get agood payout.
SPEAKER_03 (14:55):
But it's those things that we give license to
to lead us into thoughts aboutour family that did us wrong,
that mother-in-law who neveraccepted you, or your dad who
always looked down on you, orwhatever it is, um we don't we
don't want malice to creep in,but if you practice malice,
(15:19):
that's what I if you practicemalice on the football field,
you know, yeah man, I wish theirquarterback was hurt today, not
just today, you know, but thatkind of stuff, that's
practicing.
And you know, Joseph's brothers,they practice their malice.
Dad got them a new coat, hecomes down here telling us his
(15:40):
dreams, how he's gonna bow downto us, and all these years they
talked between themselves andthey practiced malice until
someone said, Let's kill 'em.
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
You usually don't start at let's kill them day
one.
Right.
You know, it it takes time.
And the some of these play intogether because uh, you know,
uh you see in Joseph'ssituation, you see in our
political uh environment slanderis thrown everywhere.
We're so loose with our tongues,and that it gets in there.
But then it it feeds this maliceuntil it grows, and you get to
(16:14):
that point, and you're just we'dbe better off if they were dead.
And we see people taking actionon that.
SPEAKER_03 (16:23):
Yeah, and let's let's not deceive ourselves.
You you stumble down tosomething malice because of
slander, because of envy, andnever um never confronting your
dad, always, yeah, Joseph's agreat guy, dad.
(16:44):
You're right.
No, dad, dad, he's a moron.
Dad, he's killing us.
Can you tell him to shut up?
You know?
Um that's deceit, that'shypocrisy.
They all tied together to gethim sold into slavery, right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:01):
It's it's a slippery slope for real, man.
Um and they they they do, theyall play in together in that I I
was I don't want to say shocked,um, but I guess almost
encouraged in a way, theresponse of from that sermon
week one, um, because it we gotto the end of the message and
(17:25):
you gave a a a call for peopleto to respond to what God was
saying to them.
And man, it was it was.
We didn't realize how much wasin us.
Um and it was encouraging to forfor me to see people say, Man, I
need to deal with this thing.
It's easy to to justify it awayand no, it's not that big of a
(17:46):
deal.
SPEAKER_03 (17:47):
It's just a game.
I I don't really mean that.
Yeah, you know, and then itcreeps in and gets focused on
your boss or someone you workwith that won't shut up and you
know, you just start thinkingthat way.
And then when your heart's thatway, you never know when um you
can be triggered.
Uh it's a bomb waiting to gooff, really, is what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (18:10):
So I I like how you were talking about it.
It you you practice malice andthen it it comes out in these
other areas, and you get to thatpoint and all of a sudden we
should do something to thembecomes you know, in the
beginning that's well, that'scrazy.
We we would never do that.
But you you practice it longenough and all of a sudden it's
like, I mean someone should dosomething, maybe I should do
(18:33):
something about that.
SPEAKER_03 (18:34):
Well, we saw it in Charlie Kirk.
We saw it when uh PresidentTrump got shot.
These people didn't expect thatto be in them, but they had
talked about it and they builtthat, they practiced, then all
of a sudden they're sayingthings that they had to take
down later.
I'm so glad he's dead, or I wishthey would have uh shot three
inches to the right or orwhatever it is.
(18:56):
And I think a lot of peoplelooked at their post and were
shocked.
Oh my gosh, what did I just say?
Yeah, and it that's that'sexactly what happened to Joseph.
And uh I think we need to uh askourselves, who do I secretly
hope gets what's coming to him?
You know?
And uh when those things comeup, just say, Lord, I confess
(19:20):
this is a sin and I forgivethem.
I forgive them, I hate them, Iforgive them.
I I I just they drive me crazy,but I forgive them.
I want you and what you havemore than I want for them to get
what's coming to them.
That's good.
And that's that's where we gottabe.
And then we go into this deceitand hypocrisy, which is wow.
(19:48):
I I don't know.
I don't even know how to I can'teven differentiate between my
mask anymore, you know.
I guess they should alleventually bleed together, but
sometimes my mask comes off andin in front of people who've
never seen that part of mebefore and they're looking at me
with their mouth hanging open.
What?
(20:08):
What did you just say?
And I'm like, I am not in thewrong group, wrong mask.
SPEAKER_01 (20:16):
These ones definitely I feel like they can
be the most draining, you know,because malice can feel good.
Yeah, you know, drink, but thesetwo, it is, it's that constant,
man.
I gotta have this mask.
And do I have the right mask?
And are am I presenting theright things to the right people
(20:39):
so that they think the rightthings?
SPEAKER_03 (20:42):
And it it drains you.
It's anxiety too.
I mean, you're anxious all thetime, and even if you're not
doing anything wrong at themoment, you can't relax because
of the guilt.
That's right.
You know, uh, if anybody knew Iwas doing this, well, that
doesn't turn off.
(21:03):
You don't get to turn off theswitch.
And did anybody see me?
Or, you know, how are they gonnafind out?
Are they gonna look at thehistory on my computer?
Or, you know, are they, youknow, what is this?
Or is my wife gonna get my phoneand open it up and see that text
and you know, all this kind ofguilt that just it robs your
(21:25):
life?
You're right, it just sucks,sucks you dry.
SPEAKER_01 (21:28):
Constantly walking on this balance beam, and you
can't ever stop focusing on it.
Because as soon as I I stopfocusing, and I look up for a
second and try to just take abreath, boom, you missed the
next step, and you haveeverything that you've been
trying to to build and protectand project, all of it comes
(21:48):
falling down in a moment.
Yeah, and it is it's exhausting.
I mean, just you know, if you'veif you're not used to working on
a ladder every day, and then youget up and you've spent some
time on a ladder and you comedown, your calves are all
cramped up, your thighs andknees are hurting, you know,
it's that like I I am justexhausted because I'm constantly
(22:11):
on edge, I'm constantly charged,trying to make sure I'm I'm
holding all the right stringsand the right mask and spinning
the right plates, and I justcan't ever just stop.
SPEAKER_03 (22:24):
And you know, it's it's um you you get confused and
then you realize I'm gettingconfused and I'm messing this up
with different groups of people,and you know you're confused.
So now you have this otheranxiety coming up, and then you
(22:47):
you bring in slander and peoplesay, Do you know did you know
what he said?
Now you've got to lie your wayout of what you said, and it uh
it's just too heavy.
It is it I think we just need toon next Thanksgiving, everybody
just lay on the ground and say,This is who I am.
It's not good, but it's outthere, and now I I don't care if
(23:11):
you know anymore.
I just this is who I am.
SPEAKER_01 (23:14):
It would be quite the way to start Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_03 (23:16):
It really would.
SPEAKER_01 (23:17):
Hey, everybody, before we eat, I'm just gonna
I'm gonna throw it all out here.
Um and and I don't know if thatthat's the right next step for
you.
Maybe get with the counselorfirst.
Yeah.
Um, but we we do.
We need to get ourselves to aplace where we can live
mask-free.
Um so we can grow.
You can grow.
You can, you know, it's it'staking that deep breath, you
(23:41):
know.
When you feel I don't know, thisis me and a cup only a couple of
my kids have inherited this fromme, but I I almost never feel
like I get a good breath, youknow.
People are all the time, wereyou getting ready to say
something?
No, I'm just struggling tryingto breathe over here.
Um, a couple of my kids got ittoo, but every now and then I
can fake myself into this yawnthing, and all of a sudden it
(24:04):
feels like my lungs fullyinflate and I get this good
breath.
And it's it's that feeling whenyou can take all this off and
and just be you, and you'relike, I don't have to pretend
anymore.
I don't have to struggle withthis anymore.
SPEAKER_03 (24:22):
And I I think the I love what you said about
hypocrisy, and we tied these twotogether, but you said it's
performing, performing yourrighteousness.
If you're gonna perform, justpractice it.
You know, it's it's just it's amental step from I need to act
(24:45):
like a Christian because I'maround Christians that people
believe I'm a Christian.
Just act like a Christian.
Practice it.
You know, be that.
Step into it, embrace it.
Um when we start when we startdoing that, and it's a
narrowing, we've got lots ofmasks, you know, it's a
(25:07):
narrowing of it, trying to bringthem all together to what you
are as a follower of Jesus thatdoesn't always do everything
right or say everything right,but that's who I am.
I'm a follower of him.
SPEAKER_01 (25:19):
What you just said, I think, is so important because
performance and practice are twodifferent things.
And a performance is I'm actingout something that I don't even
believe about myself.
Right.
You know, uh that's what actorsdo on stage.
I'm acting, but this isn't who Iam.
Practice is you're practicing,however imperfectly, who you're
(25:44):
trying to be.
You know, I was in football,went to practice, I was the
quarterback.
So what did I do?
I practiced things thatquarterbacks do.
And I was not Tom Brady.
I wasn't the perfectquarterback, but I was doing the
things that Tom Brady's coachwould have him do because I'm
practicing being a quarterback.
That little shift fromperformance to practice, one is,
(26:08):
and the reason it's so drainingfor you is because you you
believe it's deep down that'snot who you are.
And I'm just acting this out.
I'm trying to get everybody tobelieve.
But if you'll switch fromperformance to practice, and now
it becomes man, I'm not doingthis perfectly, but I'm taking
steps because this is who I havebeen called to be.
(26:29):
This is who I am.
God has adopted me as his son orhis daughter, and these are the
things that children of the kingdo.
And so I'm doing this, and indoing that, I'm living out the
truest thing about me.
Right.
And I don't get it right all thetime, but this is the truest
thing about me is that I'm achild of the king.
And when I take these steps, andI don't want to take this step,
(26:51):
and I didn't want to get upearly today, I didn't want to
show up for two days, and Ididn't want to lift those
weights.
I didn't want to do all thosethings, but I'm doing it because
that's what a child of the kingdoes.
SPEAKER_03 (27:00):
And that's so important.
Take the explanation he justgave, even if you have to rewind
it, and then ask yourself thisquestion where am I performing
faith instead of living it?
unknown (27:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (27:14):
And uh that'll help you.
And I think you'll it's justit's a it's a mental step that
you that you get together.
They're so close together,right?
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
So close.
Why not practice instead ofperform?
Absolutely.
Why not?
And in that you'll find so muchfreedom.
Um then there comes envy.
Yeah, buddy.
I'm this is something that Iknow I I have grown.
I don't want to say I've grownout of, but I've definitely
(27:46):
grown in this area, butdefinitely something I have
wrestled with.
Um, looking out and saying, man,I want what they have.
I when we were on the podcast,oh, I think that would have been
last week, I talked about Pat'struck.
When Pat bought that big oldtruck, I was like, oh, golly, I
want good news is he sold thattruck this week.
(28:09):
He told me he says I couldn'thave you, you know, being all
envious.
I went and sold it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:14):
Everybody wants a big dooley till they have to
park it somewhere.
SPEAKER_01 (28:18):
Or or fill up the gas tank.
Right.
Or change brakes.
He said the brakes on that thingwere gonna be eight thousand
dollars.
He's like, I'll just sell it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:26):
Well, I don't blame you, man.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think um envy when you get tothe point where it causes you
pain when someone else gets ablessing, um you you gotta do
something drastic.
Yep.
Yeah, you gotta start yourThanksgiving journal and um
(28:49):
practice Thanksgiving daily, umthanking God for your family and
what you do have.
Um we you don't want to get inthat position where when someone
else gets a blessing, you youhurt.
Right.
That's a I I don't even know.
That's a I'm not an enviousperson um personality-wise.
(29:12):
I do envy, you know.
I make a date out of it and wego to the boat show and I envy
there and and uh but I thinkthere's some people out there
that uh it just that I'm missingout.
Why, why God would you blessthem and not me?
And God says, Well, this is notabout performance.
(29:35):
If you put that envy down, I canmake you content, but I'm not
gonna do it with that envy inthere.
If I put my envy down, will youmake me content with what he's
got?
No, that's the same that's notputting it down.
And uh it's a it's a struggle.
Um, and I know it is, and I knowI you know, I look at our church
(29:57):
and I I don't see a lot of thatgoing on.
unknown (29:59):
But
SPEAKER_01 (30:00):
then I'm you know I got rose colored glasses when I
look at a fresh win but I don'twant I don't want you to get
into this mess where otherpeople that do great you can't
celebrate that because there'sthere's no joy in life and
that's I I would say that's thearea I've grown the most in is
in my when it comes to envy ismy ability to to celebrate and
(30:22):
rejoice with those who are whoare rejoicing.
You know when when I see thepeople I love get what they want
or or achieve something it I'vegotten to the point in my life
where that fills me with joy.
I love seeing those people getthose great things.
I mean and if they get a new carand man we're driving a beater
(30:44):
minivan I I'm not sitting herethinking oh man if if I I've
gotten to the point wherethankfully I when they get that
I'm like oh man that is awesomeI love that for you and can I
tell you I've not always beenthere and being on this side is
so refreshing because it isit'll drain you when when every
(31:06):
time something happens tosomeone else you feel pain man
that it's it is and I'm speakingfrom experience here it is a
horrible way to live because youcan't enjoy anything.
SPEAKER_03 (31:27):
You begin to obsess and get bitter and eventually
it'll destroy you.
Envy is you'll learn to hatelike you've never hated before
just because of envy.
And I I worry about that in thisthis whole equity thing in our
(31:47):
country that's been bouncingaround for the last ten years,
ten, fifteen years.
Um it's not I want what theywant it's I don't want anybody
to have anything better than me.
You know, drag them down.
It it's not like I no I want tobe like them.
(32:08):
No no no no no I want to drageverybody down to me and that's
that's where envy starts gettingcontrol of you.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
Another prime example of one that feeds right
into these other things rightbecause if I'm envious then
malice begins to grow because Iwant what you have and I not
only that I don't want you tohave it and so now feelings of
of malice begin to grow whereI'm like oh what if I took it
what if I what I want I wishsomething would happen and take
(32:40):
that from them so they didn'thave what I have and then
slander builds into it.
And you know you that that uhpassage you used on Sunday um in
that sermon on slander here's aguy who says man I really want
that garden or was it a gardenvineyard?
I think it's a garden uh he goesI I really want that and then
they built right into slanderwhich grows in malice and now
(33:04):
some guy's dead right for somedirt.
We're talking about dirt allthese things begin to feed right
into it if we don't put somechecks in to say hey what what
am I allowing to to grow here doI do I really want to have those
thoughts do I really want tothink this way do I really want
to to feel this way when whensomeone else gets that promotion
(33:27):
or gets that raise and yeah manI was working really hard for it
and they got picked ahead of meI've known men whose kids got a
good job or done better somehowsomehow and were upset.
SPEAKER_03 (33:43):
Isn't that crazy?
And that's that's what it'll doto you.
It's gonna twist you um I wastalking about the word Avan um
which means uh twisted no doesthat one mean anyways there's
three three words about sin oneis missing the mark uh one is um
(34:06):
wickedness doing what's wrongyou know it's wrong and you did
it anyways and the other one istwisted and uh I always use the
example of the Nineveh theNineveh knew that their God
wanted them to sacrificechildren and they're like what
we're not doing that and someonesaid well let's just go get the
(34:26):
Israelite children and we'llsacrifice them oh there you go
win win right and they thoughtthey were doing good that's
twisted and envy will do that toyou you'll start to be thinking
no it's good if he fails it'sgood if he hurts it's good if he
(34:48):
loses everything and that willtwist you and it won't stay
there it'll start um drillingdown into your life and twist
you up to where you don't knowyou'll think uh right is wrong
and wrong is right and so wehave to be we have to be very
careful with them because itgrows but the problem is or the
(35:10):
great thing is it's so easy tofix it get up in the morning and
tell God you're thankful forfive things every morning and
it'll fill you with joy and italways does you can you can
break envy's back by justremembering to thank God every
(35:30):
morning.
SPEAKER_01 (35:32):
Here's how true this is because this is I saw a
comedian talking about thissecular comedian not a Christian
comedian he says my therapistprescribed me gratitude which
really ticked me off that itworks because here I thought I
was messed up and all I had todo was say well it's not really
that bad and my brain goes huh Inever thought of it that way and
(35:55):
I'm like if you only knew thespiritual truth of what you're
saying right now.
You know he he doesn't even havethat perspective but his
therapist said dude it ain'tthat bad.
Just be grateful right starthaving some gratitude and he
goes it works I'm ticked offthat it works because all I had
(36:16):
to do I thought I was messed upI thought I could blame this on
all this other no I'm justungrateful if you will wake up
every morning do what you'retalking about God I thank you
thank you start that gratitudejournal and just write down
every day three four five thingsthat you're grateful for it'll
it'll begin to break break envyfrom you.
SPEAKER_03 (36:36):
It sure will and I tell you what you'll be free and
you'll have joy you'll beexcited about when people win
and you'll be able to celebratewith them.
You know God's our our God is acelebrating God.
He he's got all these differentcelebrations no we're gonna
we're gonna remember this onthis day and we're gonna have a
party and not only a party it'sgonna be a week long right while
(37:00):
we're pulling out all the stops.
And um you want to you want tobe able to celebrate um every
time someone's saved there's acelebration in heaven and uh we
want to be we want to be peoplewho can step right into that and
um and enjoy other people's goodthings good blessings that
(37:20):
happen to them.
And not only that scripture saysthat God sings over you I mean
that's that's who he is he is inthe celebratory mode over his
children and man if we couldLord let just let us experience
what that's like break us freeof that envy um and then uh this
(37:40):
past Sunday um you talked aboutslander and man just another
rough one I spent the weekthinking how many times have I
aligned myself with the deviland uh it's it's been a struggle
uh just confessing over and overagain to the Lord that my um
(38:05):
that my everyday life wouldactually align myself with what
the devil is trying to do andman and it was a it was a punch
in the mouth I was afraid topreach it I was afraid to get up
there and say okay we're alldoing this I'm doing it you're
doing it and we just need tostop and everybody stop speaking
(38:28):
and let's just uh I don't knowwhat we can do and just think
about it it's hard especiallyyou know as pastors you and I we
discuss people for projects forwhatever and there's always a
well what about this and thensuddenly it's like well okay we
(38:50):
got to be very careful that wedon't cross the line and come up
with as Alan would say more thanI know that is you you said it
on Sunday um but one of thegreatest things that you have
taught me is don't know what youshouldn't know.
SPEAKER_01 (39:11):
And I honestly I'm terrible at it I I remember um
there was a time when I showedup at your house for some party
and someone I don't even want togive all the names again but
someone was pregnant and Ishowed up and I had known they
were having a boy and I thinkthis was the gender reveal party
(39:32):
I was late to the party Ithought that part was over and I
show up and give them a big hughey congrats on the little guy
or something like that and everyyou know a couple people stand
there in the kitchen looking atme like what is wrong with you
I'm like apparently that was thewrong time it is not good to
(39:52):
know what you shouldn't know.
So I tell Joy all the time justdon't tell me like unless I have
to know just don't tell me rightand that honestly it has been
freeing because then when peoplecome up and did you hear I
didn't hear and I can say thatand I'm truthful you know um it
it's and it it trains you're sofree all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (40:15):
Now I watched a pastor one time try to lead his
church by intercepting thegossip and then preaching
sermons about what was going onand trying to do that.
And I said I said to him I saidwhy don't we just plow right
through and not care whatanybody says until they come and
tell us to our face and whenthey come and say well didn't
(40:38):
you hear about this and I andjust say oh I thought that was
gossip.
Because people would tellcertain people because they knew
those people would come to thepastor I was so confused.
Yeah how do we I was like Pastorhow do we how do we do this this
way?
Because we don't even know ifthey're telling us the truth.
SPEAKER_01 (40:58):
That's yeah an absolutely terrible way to lead
um because you don't know and itit is best to just go ahead and
say unless this person has comeand expressed it to me we're
gonna act as if that has notbeen said.
Right and and it just it is abetter way it keeps you from
getting tied into all theseknots and and and then it's so
(41:18):
easy for people to play onemotions and manipulate you as a
leader.
Even if you're not a pastor Imean if you your kids will do
this to you if you if you behavethat way.
And you can't run a businessyour employees yep we'll do it
to you you you cannot makedecisions based off of off of
gossip.
And it is I mean I I rememberyou were was it in the joyful
(41:43):
series um but you were you weretalking in one of the sermons
just about how God's doing somegreat things in our church the
one of the quickest ways thatthe devil will shut this down is
is through disunity.
Getting us to be ununified andone of the number one ways you
can do that is start gossip.
(42:04):
Right.
Start talking about each otherstart talking about things um
and it'll it'll shut down thegrowth of a church immediately.
SPEAKER_03 (42:12):
Yeah and it's easy to talk about things um where
people fail you you know and uhone thing I was teaching you
about leadership and you'restill having a real hard time
with it is if you get 80% ofwhat you want you it's a win.
It's a win.
(42:33):
I'm fighting for that last 20%man you do you do.
But you know we're in avolunteer organization and
you're asking people to dothings and you want them to be
able to do it without youmonitoring them all the time and
if you get 80% of what you wantthen it's a win.
You just need to embrace thatand go yeah but I don't like the
(42:54):
way they set up the chairs ifthey would just set up the
chairs like just drop it.
Just drop it but that's that'swhat we do and that's how we can
leak into gossip and then gossipalways leads to slander.
If you don't clean it up you'llyou'll start slandering someone
(43:14):
you'll want to hurt them you'llwant to hurt them and um and
hurt their relationship and uhtheir relationships and their
reputation so it's it'sbasically spiritual murder but
you just don't murder oneperson.
You are standing in front of Godand saying I am going to defy
(43:35):
you and I'm gonna talk aboutyour people your bride right to
your face I am just I knowyou're watching and I'm gonna
talk about your bride toeveryone look look that doesn't
go well here on the planet it'snot gonna go well in heaven so I
(43:56):
think we don't understand thisaccusing thing because God talks
about slander different than hetalks about malice.
SPEAKER_01 (44:08):
It's uh I've got a real problem with this children
this is something that I raiseup off the throne about and uh I
think it's important for us torealize his he is not gonna let
anybody destroy his image bearshe's gonna not let anybody stop
(44:29):
the unity uh it invites God'sdiscipline when you stand up and
say I'm gonna be a slandererwhich is the word diablos which
is also translated devil justsome of the scripture passages
you read um during that sermonit is clear God is like no I'm
(44:50):
not putting up with that uh Ithink one of them said I will
destroy you it's like okay areyou sure you want the God who
spoke and things came into beingto be your enemy like are you
are are you prepared for thatyou know and he says no no no I
I will destroy you I oppose youif this is the stance you take
(45:15):
man that's that's a rough placeto be and I mean just imagine
standing before God and sayinghey God love you hate your wife
like yeah how do you thinkthat's gonna go try saying that
to me I mean I I love Jesus I'llknock you I'll I'll try again I
drive a traverse so I don't knowhow that'll go but I will try
(45:36):
I'm not gonna put up with it youcan say whatever you want about
me don't you dare talk about mywife imagine standing before God
love you hate your hate yourwife he he won't put up with it
and we are the bride of Christthis is his church and people we
need and we shouldn't beslandering anyone we shouldn't
be gossiping about anyone but mygoodness when it comes to the
(45:58):
church the bride of Christlisten people not in your prayer
meetings not in your life groupsnot we need to be so careful um
that we do not fall into thisbecause it it'll just crush the
unity of the church and Jesussaid it is our unity that proves
to the world that we are hisdisciples I think the you know
(46:23):
the scripture verse that weended up at on on Sunday um
first Peter chapter three if youwant to love life and see good
days keep your tongue from eviltwo things I I pull out of that
number one if you if you'retrading just talking about
(46:47):
someone getting getting somebodyjust to listen to you because
this person's driving you crazyyou know you're you're gonna
take that and give up a goodlife for it.
SPEAKER_03 (47:02):
That's that's what the scripture is promising.
If you want to love your lifedon't do that.
You know and then the fact thatthe scripture in the old
testament and the new testamentsays this is evil you know it
doesn't it doesn't say it's umshoot I wish I'd I can get that
(47:27):
study in my head.
The three different types of sinyou know it doesn't say that it
says this is evil.
This is what the devil does andum I know gossip starts out
harmless but you're just you'rejust saying you know they got me
the same present they got melast year for Christmas.
(47:49):
And they didn't realize it.
You know it's it starts out thatway until you know they hurt
your feelings doing somethingelse and then it starts moving
closer to that slander thing andyou're gonna set yourself up
against God without even meaningto and it it's it's a real
(48:11):
slander or gossip is a realslippery slope and and where
you're going is slander whereyou're actually trying to to
hurt somebody and uh if youcould not do it the first time
then you will never get there.
And like I said before thesethings are envy is a tough habit
(48:33):
to break gossip is a is a toughhabit to break but it's not you
know heroin addiction.
He's not asking much.
SPEAKER_01 (48:46):
Hey don't don't do that and you'll grow and be
happy and full of joy it's noteven giving up cigarettes.
Right when you catch yourselfjust stop yeah pull an Allen
I've already told you more thanI know I need to stop right
here.
Um it is as simple as that manum in in scripture it is just so
(49:10):
clear.
I mean Proverbs says death andlife are in the power of the
tongue.
SPEAKER_03 (49:16):
Yeah we should treat every word as a seed and will
this seed produce life or willit produce death produce death
that's what James tells us andwe need I know nobody talks
about this anymore because Imean how would YouTube get paid?
I mean how I how would it work?
(49:38):
How would society work ifeverybody just stopped their
tongue and um I think it'd be Ithink it'd be a richer and
better place if if everybodysaid you know what that hurt my
feelings I'm gonna go talk tothem about it.
Because they'd expect you not tobe defensive.
They would expect you to say I'msorry what can I do to fix it?
(50:02):
You know well can you not dothat anymore?
Probably 90% of the time but Ijust feel like I'm gonna do it
again.
So can I go ahead and say I'msorry now you know um but when
we're working together in thatunity that's one thing but when
we're getting our circle againsttheir circle that is that's
(50:25):
gonna destroy us and that's theSatan's plan for all God's
church.
But the great thing is thatHebrews chapter 12 says when God
comes after you over thesethings it's not to punish you
it's not to I'm gonna get youback for what you've done it's
gonna be you're missing outright I've got some great things
(50:47):
for you this is this is justdumb don't do this I've got more
for you you don't need this Igot more for you this will never
satisfy you I can let me do thatso I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
let you do that.
SPEAKER_01 (51:06):
I'm not gonna let you get in that position it's
the same thing as when your kidwants to play in the highway you
know no that's not gonna endwell come play in the driveway
I'll put a car across the end ofthe driveway and you guys can
just go crazy right here andwe'll have snacks and pizza and
(51:27):
movie night and the whole thingand we won't end up in the
emergency room you know andthat's that but a lot of people
you know defy that and say youknow what I'm just let's just go
to the emergency room and theLord says well that's what you
want here we go and we have athis this is not as big a deal
(51:47):
as we make it out to be now ifwe could step back and just talk
about the exchange that you youlaid out there just a few
minutes ago would I give up alife that I love for that thing
and if we would see all theseinteractions that way would I
give up a life I love just tomake them hurt?
(52:09):
Of course not wouldn't do that.
Would I give up a life I lovejust to say this juicy bit of
gossip no I mean how silly thethe problem man we we are so
bullheaded man we just plowright into these things right
without ever stopping to to lookback take a step back and be
like what am I giving up in allthis the weird thing is we get
(52:33):
defensive about it too.
SPEAKER_03 (52:35):
What well I'm right so right so what's a big deal
you're right and you know itit's a tough thing if you if you
said I'll give you a milliondollars if that person that you
can't stand gets 10 you okaywith that well let me think
(52:56):
through this it's like they'llget 10 is that fair well wait a
minute I'm gonna give you fivebut they're gonna get 10 um shut
up and take the five right likethat's what we're talking about
here just shut up take the fiveand and live a great life I I
(53:19):
don't know and we make it a bigdeal I made it a big deal when
we started this series when Icame to you and I said hey like
oh boy I was like I think theLord wants us to to preach on
this and I don't I I don't wannaand um you're like well if you
think the Lord's calling us topreach on this you go first yeah
(53:43):
you go first and you wrap it upthat way the last the first
thing people see is you the lastthing people see is you and
they'll remember Tim Tim taughtus this right um no man you know
there's there's not very manytimes you come to me and say hey
I think we need to preach onthis um you know you I over the
years I've kind of got to pick alot of the servants and we do a
(54:04):
lot of it together but you knowI've I've had the freedom kind
of to do those things and um sowhen you said man the Lord I
think the Lord's saying we needto talk about this I was like
man we need to lean into thatthen um and this is man it it's
felt heavy at times but man ifif we would just say Lord I'm
I'm not gonna fight you on it Ijust want to cooperate with you
(54:27):
because I believe that there'smore you have more for me and
what you have is more importantthan this this envy this thing
this grudge that I've developedyou know this this thing that I
that I just gotta share becauseyou know it's gonna hurt them
what you have is more it'sbetter and if we would get
(54:49):
ourselves to believe that um andwhen God corrects you on this
stuff and he will all the timehe'll he'll correct you and you
find yourself in a situation boyI should have kept my mouth shut
or I should have took my maskoff these my small group should
have known who I was in thefirst place um if you if God's
(55:11):
correcting you in that situationhe's not rejecting you he's
refining you that's right hegoes you know what you can
receive more blessings if yougrow into this and the more you
grow the more blessings the moreyour roots go deeper they get
more food you get more sunshineit's just growth opens your life
(55:36):
and if you want to love life andsee good days keep your tongue
from evil keep your heart cleanthis is probably something that
every time we have a communionthat in our heads we should say
all right we're getting ready tohave communion I need to where
am I failing in these thesesituations?
(55:57):
And uh but I tell you what ifyou do the envy thing and just
get up in the morning and thankGod you'll live in joy and once
you get to see the difference ofthat life and the life you're
living now your enemy will bemalice, hypocrisy, envy, deceit,
(56:19):
and uh slander.
They will be your enemy becauseyou'll realize this is what I
experienced when I wasn'tinvolved in that stuff.
And when I am involved in thatstuff that goes away and you'll
get jealous of a happy life.
SPEAKER_01 (56:37):
You know it makes me think of there's this old Jewish
rabbi who was talking about theTen Commandments not Peter's
list here but he saidcommandment number ten is is
more of a promise than it is acommand that if you'll do the
first nine you won't want anyoneelse's life.
Right so commandment number 10thou shalt not covet and he says
(56:59):
if you'll do the first nine youwon't want anyone else's life
because you will you will have alife that God can bless you'll
have a rich satisfying abundantlife life to the full you will
love your life and all you gotto do is start pulling these
things out.
When you catch yourself stopspeaking you know when when
(57:19):
you're all fired up oh man LordI'm just you know what I'm I'm
grateful for all that you'vedone you start doing those
things and man you won't wantanyone else's life you'll live a
life that God can bless and youwill grow.
SPEAKER_03 (57:34):
Pastin will you pray for us well Lord I I want to
thank you for us uh leading usto preach on this and um I'm
also really grateful we're doneI never liked weed in the flower
beds uh but sometimes it's gotto be done I want to thank you
(57:55):
for that thank you that um thisis something that refines us and
makes us better and moreequipped to receive your
blessings and to live in joy.
We want to love our life and wewant to see good days.
So Lord I pray that you'll keepus hunting these things in our
life so that we can rip themout.
(58:17):
And we can be the person thatyou want us to be but more than
that that you can give us whatyou want to give us in Jesus'
name.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (58:26):
Thanks again for joining us for this episode of
the Midweek Podcast.
We'd love to hear from you.
Let us know how God is usingthis resource in your life or
send any podcast questions ortopic ideas to podcast at a
freshwind.org.
If you would like to supportthis ministry financially and
help us continue offering newresources that equip you to
discover more in Christ simplytext any amount to the number
(58:49):
84321.
We're so grateful for yoursupport.
Make sure to tune in next weekfor a brand new episode of the
Midweek Podcast.
Be blessed and have a great week
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