[265] - Shift Work and Loneliness - The Silent Struggle No One Talks About

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In this episode, I open up about a side of shift work we don’t talk about enough: the loneliness. Even when we’re surrounded by colleagues, shift work can create a deep sense of emotional isolation that creeps in slowly and quietly. Over time, it can affect everything from our sleep and decision-making to our eating habits and overall wellbeing.

Here’s what I share in this episode:

• How shift work pulls us out of sync with everyday life—missing weekends, holidays, and family time
• Why our biological need for connection often clashes with shift work schedules
• The truth about loneliness: it’s not just an emotion—it has real health consequences
• How small “micro-connections” like a quick message or a coffee catch-up can keep relationships alive
• The importance of finding a connection with others who understand the shift work lifestyle
• Why scheduling social time—just like an appointment—can actually protect your wellbeing
• How being honest with loved ones about your disconnection helps them support you
• Simple ways to blend social time with self-care, like walking with a friend
• When to seek professional help if loneliness starts to feel overwhelming

If any of this resonated with you, I’d love it if you shared the episode with fellow shift workers who might be going through the same thing.

And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast and leave a rating—it really helps others find this content. On Spotify, just head to the main show page; on Apple Podcasts, scroll to the bottom to rate and review.

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to go through shift work feeling that way.

Support the show

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ANNOUNCING

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• Shift Work Health and Wellbeing Seminars
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Disclaimer: Roger Sutherland is not a doctor or a medical professional. Always consult a physician before implementing any strategies mentioned in this podcast. Use of this information is strictly at your own risk. Roger Sutherland will not assume any liability for direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of the information contained in this podcast including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness, or death.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Shift work can be brutal, but it doesn't have to
be.
Welcome to a healthy shift.
My name is Roger Sutherland,certified nutritionist, veteran
law enforcement officer and 24-7shift worker for almost four
decades.
Through this podcast, I aim toeducate shift workers, using
evidence-based methods, to notonly survive the rigours of

(00:28):
shift work, but thrive.
My goal is to empower shiftworkers to improve their health
and wellbeing so they have moreenergy to do the things they
love.
Enjoy today's show.
Welcome back to A Healthy Shift.
My name, roger Sutherland, andif this is your first time

(00:49):
listening, welcome.
And if you're a regular, I wantto say thank you, because I
really do appreciate you.
Today I want to talk aboutsomething that we don't usually
bring up when it comes to shiftwork.
And no, it's not fatigue, it'snot sleep, it's not what we
should eat, it's not.
Comes to shift work.
And no, it's not fatigue, it'snot sleep, it's not what we
should eat, it's not how to loseweight, it's not about you've
got to hydrate, you've got toget sky before screen.

(01:12):
It's something completelydifferent and it's something
that a lot of people are goingto relate to, and that is the
loneliness.
Yep.
This one's going to hit homefor a lot of people.
It's only a brief one, but I dowant to cover it to give people
support in this area.
Now, shift work can beincredibly isolating.

(01:34):
Even if you are surrounded bypeople at work, you can still
feel completely alone, and thatfeeling it gets very, very heavy
.
I remember plenty of nightsback in my frontline policing
days long night shifts,christmases on the job,
birthdays missed, and mates whoslowly stopped inviting me to

(01:55):
things because I was just alwaysworking and never around, and
we all know that those that arenew to shift work will know what
it's like.
It's really hard to try andcatch up with people that you
had before you joined the job orshift work or whatever it was
that you did.
Now, at first we just brush itoff and you think, oh well, it's

(02:16):
just the job, it is what it is.
But over time those cracksstart to show, because what
happens is you get fatigued andthen you stop calling people
back, and then what happens isyou start disconnecting from the
people who you were veryconnected to before.
You miss out on all that smalltalk, and so when you are at a

(02:38):
barbecue or you are at afunction, you're not up to speed
with all of the conversationsthat they're actually having,
and this really starts to havean impact.
Suddenly you realize I'mcompletely disconnected from
them and even from yourself.

(02:58):
So let's talk about why thishappens, because when you work
nights, weekends, publicholidays, it just doesn't match
the rest of the world.
Your partner's asleep, you'rewide awake.
You're wide awake, she's fastasleep, vice versa.
I've said the same thing againin reverse, haven't I Like a
dill?
So the other thing is you'resleeping, they're wide awake.

(03:21):
Your kids are at sport.
Where are you In bed?
Your mates are at the pub onFriday night.
Yep, you're in bed earlybecause you've got to get up for
a 6am shift on Saturday.
The routine that brings mostpeople connection.
We totally miss it.
Everyone looks forward toFriday night, and then it's
Saturday, and it's Saturdaynight, and then it's Sunday and

(03:44):
we go to the footy and we dowhatever, but we miss that.
Now we are wired as humans toconnect.
It is human biology and shiftwork often gets in the way of
that.
But here's the thing that Ireally want to drive home today
Loneliness isn't just a sadfeeling.

(04:04):
I feel lonely.
It actually has realconsequences.
It starts to affect your sleep,it impacts on your
decision-making.
It drives emotional eating,really drives emotional eating,
poor recovery and even chronicillness and stress.
In fact, even chronic illnessand stress.

(04:25):
In fact, we have to reallymonitor ourselves as to how much
we are withdrawing fromeverybody outside of our job.
So what is there that we canactually do?
Because we can't always changeour roster, we know that.
But we can take small andintentional steps to reconnect

(04:46):
with people, and here are a fewideas that I share with clients
and I also used myself.
Number one micro connectionsmatter.
Now, you don't have to go outall night, you don't have to go
out all day.
You can just catch up for acoffee.
You can literally just pick upyour phone and send a two-minute

(05:07):
voice message to a friend itseems to be the way that people
do it these days or a text G'daymate, how are you going, what's
happening?
That's connection, because youdon't feel so isolated in the
world.
Number two find your shift workpeople.
Other shift workers get it.
This is the very reason why Icreated the Shift Workers

(05:28):
Collective, because you're neveralone.
It's a subscription-based 24-7community and it doesn't matter
if it's 3am or if it's 3pm.
There's always someone aroundwho actually understands you,
they get you, they get it.
Give that a thought.
Number three scheduleconnections like a meeting when

(05:51):
you're on night shift and you'redoing those number of nights.
Have a think about what you'regoing to do on your days off.
Don't wait for the days off.
Look ahead, I've got a day off.
I'll catch up with Karen, I'lldo that.
I'll catch up with Sandra, Ican do that.
All those people.
Book it in and commit yourselfto doing it.

(06:15):
Don't wait until the end of therest day, because you'll get to
the end of the rest day and youwon't have done anything.
And this is also so typical.
Plan a FaceTime with family orwhatever.
Set a reminder to call your mum.
Don't leave it to chance,because it won't happen.
You know as well as I do.

(06:36):
If you don't set it in yourcalendar with a reminder, you
won't remember to do it oryou'll get to the end of the day
, and then you'll bedisappointed in yourself and
then you'll feel like you've letyourself down.
And therein lies the problem aswell.
You're letting yourself downand you're isolated, you're
lonely, and this causes massiveproblems.

(06:58):
And be honest, this is anotherpoint.
Tell the people close to youthat shift work makes you feel
so goddamn distant from them.
Let them in.
They might not understand yourroster, but they know and love
you and they will understand you.
Look, there is no doubt aboutit that shift work is tough, but

(07:18):
you don't have to do it alone.
If today's episode has made youactually pause and reflect, or
even just tear up a little, youare not the only one, because
loneliness absolutely thrives insilence.
So let's bring it into the openand let's talk about it.
Let's connect.

(07:38):
So let's bring it into the openand let's talk about it.
Let's connect.
And if you need somewhere tostart, come and find me inside
the Shift Workers Collective,because this is the exact reason
why I actually built it.
One thing that I want to ask youtoday, as you sit there and you
analyze your shift working life, is are you just surviving or
are you really thriving in it?

(07:59):
Because if you're justsurviving, then you're going to
find that you're going to getmore and more and more isolated.
Are you getting to the stagewhere you're just screaming at
the kids?
Are you getting to the stagewhere you're just fighting with
your partner?
What's become your new normal?
Have a think about what'sbecome your new normal.
Did you think about what'sbecome your new normal?

(08:21):
Did you used to be an up andabout person that was out and
about doing all sorts ofdifferent things and now you're
not?
Where can you start to snack onrelationships with your friends
and people?
Where can you snack on that?
Where can you slot in a coffee?
Catch up?
Where can you slot in a walk orwhatever?
Make it multi-purpose, organisefor someone to catch up and
walk with them.

(08:41):
You can chat, you can walk,you're getting your movement,
you're getting your light,you're getting all the good
stuff and you're catching upwith someone at the same time.
And if you need help with that,don't hesitate to actually
reach out and get professionalhelp around it as well.
Shift work is tough and thissubject is a difficult one

(09:03):
loneliness.
So if you do feel lonely, juststart putting little strategies
in place, because you can bearound family and you can be
around your colleagues, but youcan be the loneliest person on
the planet, and I'll leave it atthat.
Thanks again for listening, andif this episode resonated with

(09:24):
you, I ask you just to share itwith a fellow shift worker that
may actually be struggling, andif you haven't already, could
you do me a favor and hit,follow on the podcast and also
give it a rating.
On Spotify, just go to the mainpage and there's a rating spot
right there, and on Apple, youcan scroll down to the bottom

(09:46):
and you can give it a rating andin a few minutes you could just
write it a review.
Now you guys have been reallyslack on this lately and I do
one of these twice a week andput them out, and I would really
really appreciate it a week andput them out, and I would
really really appreciate it if,once this episode is completed,
if you would literally just goand just give it five stars, or
go to Apple and give it starsand just give it a slight review

(10:08):
, so that someone like you canactually find this podcast to
support them in their shiftworking life.
So I want you to take care ofyourself out there.
I want you to know you'reactually not alone.
I see you, we see you.
That's a healthy shift and I'llcatch you on the next episode.

(10:51):
It would also be ever sohelpful if you could leave a
rating and review on the appyou're currently listening on.
If you want to know more aboutme or work with me, you can go
to ahealthyshiftcom.
I'll catch you on the next one.