December 13, 2024 • 20 mins
Unlock the secrets of managing anger and aggression in therapeutic settings with Dr. Wyss, our esteemed guest, and expert in play therapy, marriage and family therapy, and art therapy. Discover how her extensive experience in high-stress environments like foster care and psychiatric hospitals has equipped her with unique strategies to transform intense emotions into productive therapeutic outcomes. Dana provides invaluable insights into maintaining stability and safety amidst emotional turbulence through her innovative methods, such as the Invisible String. Join us as she prepares for her exciting presentation at the Play Therapy Disney Bound conference in Disneyland, where her passion for teaching others to balance safety and containment will be on full display.
Explore the complexities of embracing anger in therapy, especially within school settings, where emotions can be deeply tied to grief and adjustment. Dana shares her philosophy of recognizing anger as a purposeful primary emotion rather than a symptom to be suppressed. With a focus on separating emotions from behaviors, she highlights the role of play therapy as a vital communication tool for all age groups, including couples and families. Get a glimpse of her creative techniques, like building volcanoes, designed to make learning informative and enjoyable. This episode promises practical advice and engaging strategies to empower therapists and listeners to embrace and understand anger in a therapeutic context.
A Hero's Welcome Podcast © Maria Laquerre-Diego & Liliana Baylon
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
continue.
Welcome back listeners toanother very special bonus
episode of a Heroes Welcomepodcast.
I am your co-host, MarielaCaradiego, and I am with my
never angry co-host, Liliana.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Bailon.
I mean, like never such astrong word, but this is
definitely Liliana Bailon.
Hey, thank you for being here.
We're so excited we're havinganother bonus episode promoting
this Well, not promoting Disney,they don't need promotions but
promoting the conference that ishappening at Disney.
The Maria is hosting and we'rehere with a lovely guest.
(00:35):
Donna, how do you want tointroduce yourself to our
audience?
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hello everyone.
I am Dr Dana Weiss.
My young clients refer to me asDr Dana.
I think that's the only part ofmy name they can get out
correctly and I'm so excited.
I was so jealous.
I am in California and I was sojealous last year when I could
not participate.
My dad's birthday and thisevent coincide with each other.
(01:01):
I think they believe I'm cominghome for his birthday again
this year and I've been veryclear I'm not because I am going
to Disneyland this year.
I don't think they believe me,so it'll probably be day of and
I'll be with you.
Maria and my dad will be likewhy aren't you home?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Are you on your way?
What's happening?
Where are?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
you.
So last year I missed out andI'm so excited not just to be
there but to be able to presentthis year.
It's super exciting and I am aplay therapist, a marriage and
family therapist and an arttherapist.
My degree was in marriage andfamily therapy and art therapy
and I did that for many years,got my doctorate in expressive
therapies.
(01:42):
And then I say this on everypodcast Tammy Van Hollander,
it's all her fault, I became aplay therapist.
It's not just her fault, butalso writing the Invisible
String workbook and myassociation with the Invisible
String has also that kind ofprompted me to move into the
play therapy world and one ofthe best decisions I made in my
life.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And now I'm going to Disneyland of the best decisions
I made in my life, and now I'mgoing to Disneyland.
It all comes back.
It all comes back.
I love that.
Yes, so this is, you arespeaker for year two of our Play
Therapy Disney bound conference, which I am just tickled pink
that you said yes, when I waslike hey, I mean I know it's a
hard sell hey, would you want togo to Disney with me and like,
(02:24):
call it work, that's a realtough sell.
But tell us a little bit aboutwhat your session's going to be
on.
And in case people haven'tregistered yet, I think I'm like
down to 12 seats.
There is like a minute left foryou to still join us.
But what are you sharing withour group?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So first I have to say I think you asked me like 10
times if I really wanted to doit.
And I was like, like you got thewords out, like Dana, I'd like
you to talk in, and I said yes,before I even knew you're saying
Disneyland.
But like I was a yes before youeven asked me.
And then I feel like you askedif you like, are you sure?
And I was like I just sent youa list of the things I want to
do in my talk, like, did you notsee my list?
(03:07):
That I've been dreaming.
So I am so excited and I'msuper excited that I got anger,
um, as the emotion that I get todive into.
Um, because that is somethingthat I have worked with my whole
career.
Most of my experience is inworking in de-escalation and
(03:28):
aggression.
I've been in you know kind ofworking in the foster care
system and group home andpsychiatric hospitals for most.
I say most of my career now,because now I'm in private
practice and I'm going to sayjust as much anger in private
practice as was in all of thoseenvironments.
But I really, and for somereason, maybe because I also
(03:50):
feel lots of anger a lot oftimes, I don't know, but for
some reason I am able to holdspace in a way that is really
uncomfortable for other peoplewhen people are raging, when
people are in really big, scarysituations.
I have been able to be ananchor for them, and I just want
to share some of the ways I dothat while still also staying
safe, because I think that'sreally a big mismatch people
(04:12):
have.
It's like either I get scared bythe anger and I just want to
shut it down, or I'm not surehow to contain it at all.
I let the person go and I don'tknow what to do and I maybe put
myself in danger, and so thatbalance is such a delicate dance
and it's also reallyoverwhelming for people, and I
(04:33):
just have some kind of abilityto sit in it and have been able
to for a long time, and I thinkthe last 13 years of my career
has been just training otherpeople how to do this well, and
I was still in the group homesetting, so still doing it and
working alongside with people,but, um, yeah, so that's a
little bit about how we got tothis topic, and I'm super
(04:56):
excited to share things I'vedone, things I haven't done.
We have some new fun things Iwant to try that I haven't been
able to.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Awesome, that's awesome.
Yeah, no, it's, it is.
I think you know.
I think, dana, when I thinkabout what you just shared, I
think one of the things thatcomes through for me is that,
both in the invisible string andhope and the ones of grief, and
with their talk on anger, yourfocus is being an anchor when
everything else feels sounsteady and big right.
I think that that's a commonthread that I see in you know,
(05:34):
I've been to some of your talkstoo and like that is.
It is like how do you maintainbeing safe and stable so that
they can do what they need toand then have the skills to help
bring them back into theirwindow of tolerance?
So yeah and yeah.
I absolutely asked you 10million times because this is
another episode topic, but likeimposter syndrome, I'm sorry, dr
(05:56):
Dana said yes to me.
Are you kidding me, are yousure?
Are you sure?
Sure, sure.
How many times can I ask you ifyou're sure before?
I'm just like, just make thereservation.
Maria put her name on the thing, do it?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
That is just.
It also, like what you justsaid, which I appreciate so much
about the anchor is so funnybecause, you know, patrice
Carson and I just did a podcastwith Carmen, did a podcast with
Carmen, amazing, amazing.
(06:31):
And Patrice has been sharing alot about her experience of
writing the Invisible String,which is a book all about
connection and love and herexperience of not having a lot
of that when she was growing upand we've kind of talked about
that experience with her andlike kind of putting out in the
world what she hasn't gotten in.
What you just said makes methink about like I have big
emotions and I have momentswhere I get angry and people
call me intimidating and call mescary and it's like I need
(06:53):
anchors and like so it's likebecoming that person for other
people that we need forourselves, which hopefully helps
that become it for ourselves,because you can't always have
that right, you can't alwaysfind that in other people.
But I think that that's such animportant part and probably why
I have such an attachment tohelping people through anger and
(07:14):
helping people experience that,because they know it is a
really scary thing for a lot ofpeople for many different
reasons.
You know, aggression is scary.
Let's be real, blood is scaryand sometimes, when there's
anger and aggression, bloodhappens.
And for some reason, like I,can handle those things.
I mean my dissertations onself-injury, I just wrote a
workbook about suicide loss.
(07:34):
I mean I dive into kind ofthese deep, hard topics a lot,
so there's something in meallows me to just sit in these.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And I so appreciate this topic, right Like there's.
Now it's becoming the theme ofeveryone talking about working
with migrants, which I soappreciate because I was like I
cannot be the only one.
But one of the problems that Ideal with the school settings is
that when a kiddo has thatjourney, anger shows up and it
(08:06):
makes sense.
It's tied to grief, it's tiedto adjustments, it's tied to the
unknown and, unfortunately,most school settings struggle
with anger because they want totame it automatically and there
is a purpose to have anger.
So, of course, for anytherapist who's listening to the
podcast today, you need thistraining so that you can see the
(08:29):
child and then just focus onthe symptom, which is the anger.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Absolutely it's like that delicate balance of
allowing the anger a spacewithout it consuming everything.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yes, yeah, and it's just becoming more and more
right.
I know I'll age as I do.
I feel I was listening to ourpodcast and I was like I feel
like I do this pretty often.
I'm going to age myself.
So in school, right forprogramming, it was anger is a
secondary emotion.
You need to see past the angerto like what's driving it and
it's like okay, but anger isalso just a primary emotion.
(09:05):
Can we just acknowledge that wehave anger and anger serves a
purpose.
It's not bad, right, like Ithink we're all walking away
from inside out and inside outto that, feelings are not bad.
Our behavior is going to bequestionable and might not be
tolerated in certain settings,but the emotions are valid and
they're important.
Communication that, if we are.
(09:26):
If our first response is just todampen it down, especially as
clinicians, what is that messagethat we're giving that person?
Right, that that's somehowwrong, you're not safe.
This is not okay.
Right, and I get it.
In the school setting, theyhave other things that are going
on, but in a clinic room, in atherapy room, a school setting,
(09:49):
they have other things that aregoing on, but in a clinic room,
in a therapy room, I really dothink it's on us to be the safe
person for them to feel theseemotions, without adding shame,
without trying to dim it downand build up those skills so
that they can manage it outsideof our room.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and for both of you, right, you just named for
again all the listeners which isthere's a difference between
the emotion and the behavior,Yet we tend to sum it up as one
when that is not the case.
So I love that you're going tobe talking about this and all
the clinicians not only having ablast being in line with other
(10:23):
clinicians while we are, youknow, talking about Disney and
Disney characters and ruinedDisney princesses for me last
year.
Shout out to Jessica.
Thank you, jessica.
I will never see Disneyprincesses the same.
You're welcome.
That's not true.
I learned so much, but I didgive Jessica grief for it.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I think that's part of it right, like part of the
drive about doing this at Disneyis to you know I mean, if you
know anything about me, popculture is my language and it's
furthering that step right.
Play therapy, we say, you know,play is a child's language,
play is anyone's language.
Like, if we look at people'sbehaviors and their play or
(11:07):
their lack thereof, it'scommunication.
And so often I keep runninginto clinicians, play therapists
, who don't play, they don'tplay themselves, right.
And so for me it was like well,if we do this at Disney, you
don't have any excuse, Like oneyou're going to drink the
Kool-Aid and the Disney magichits you.
And every you're going to comehome withool-Aid and the Disney
magic hits you.
(11:27):
And every you're going to comehome with extra ears and like
all the things, all the pins andall the pins, and my hope is
that one.
You're learning new information, but you're integrating it as
well and you're giving yourselfpermission to play for your own
pleasure and enjoyment, becausewe're losing that right.
(11:50):
And so I think it's reallypowerful, dana, for you to come
in and be like yes, and we'regoing to take one of the big
strong emotions and we're goingto talk about that.
I think that it's incredible,but tell us, can you give us
like a sneak peek, what issomething that they might walk
(12:11):
away with?
That would be new information.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Well, one you just touched on it a little bit is
that my work and my practicespans the lifespan.
So I do art and play for allages, I do couples work, I do
family work, I do adults, I doteenagers, I do children, and so
my talk is not going to be onlyabout how to use this with
children, but how do youintegrate some of these
(12:37):
activities into couples work,into other places?
Which is a talk I did foranother group was adult work
with play therapy and how to youknow, obviously, navigate it
and talk about it.
I talk about it a little bit,not for everybody actually.
I have a client who is full ofplay therapy and we have fun,
but there are people who theplay is hard for them, which is
(12:59):
part of why they're strugglingand coming to me for couples
therapy, and so part of the talkis really about that piece of
it, like how do we really usethese tools in age appropriate
ways that feel comfortable forpeople throughout the lifespan?
And then I would say the otherpiece of it is leaning into a
(13:23):
little bit of science, a littlebit of art and a little bit of
play in the activities.
So I can maybe tease that theremight be some kind of volcanoes
happening that you may havenever seen before.
There may be some explosions,but I'm going to have to talk
with Maria to just find out andmake sure we have a space where
I can do this, where we don'tget kicked out.
(13:43):
I've been on lists before.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You don't want to be on Disney's bad list.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
There may be explosions.
If we can find the right place,I will figure it out one way or
another.
There's going to be a way tokind of integrate this and think
about also like that balanceright.
Like there are some like I'llgive an example I have.
We'll call them lightsabers,but they're really pool noodles
(14:09):
which everyone has in theiroffice.
There are clients that the poolnoodles are great tool for that
have anger and need to get itout, and there are clients who
have anger and need to get outand the pool noodle is not a
great tool for them.
It escalates them more, itmakes them feel out of control,
and so we'll also talk about thenavigation of that Like what am
(14:30):
I doing that may make somethingworse or more out of control
instead of help them release itand think about that.
And then tons of resources.
I mean I've read a ton of greatbooks, so there are things that
I will give the group that kindof like a resource list that
they can take with them andcontinue learning.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
How lucky for all of you who are going to go and play
.
Even though you're an hour inline to get a game, the hour
goes really fast because Mariais able to organize and people
start like texting each other sothey can hold online Like it's
an awesome experience.
(15:11):
All of you are going to have ablast.
I did it last year and, yeah,me and my son, who was 21, like
we were getting up early andgoing and play.
We had a blast.
He's bummed that we're notgoing this year, but again we
will go next year.
Thank you, thank you for fordoing this.
I am so excited to see all thepictures, because now I'm like I
(15:32):
know you're gonna have to goand find anger in Disneyland and
then take a picture.
Um, that's gonna be so awesome.
Um, any other last thing thatwe want to share with them
before we let you go?
Um, adia and Donna for me.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I mean, I get to use these special episodes to also
just like very loudly say thankyou, thank you for being a part
of this.
I know it's not really a hardsell, but it is also.
It's different and you're stillvery much taking a chance on me
and this new event, much takinga chance on me and this new
(16:11):
event, and that does not gounnoticed or unappreciated.
And the way you said anger sofast when I was like, hey, if I
do Inside Out, which anger Iwant anger.
It just lights me up because Ithink that's the other thing is
that you can tell you're verypassionate and very proud of the
(16:31):
work that you're doing and I'mjust so thankful that this will
be another opportunity for thatto reach a new audience.
And I mean that means that weget to go play in Disneyland
together for a week.
Dana Like.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I mean, it's a it's a hard job I have.
I can't tell you how manypeople have been like wait, your
job is about to be inDisneyland.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is my friends.
I feel so honored to be askedand I think when you asked me it
was right when I was in theheart of finishing Hope and the
Winds of Grief workbook, whichis a it's a children's book and
a workbook related to suicideloss, and I was on the anger
(17:15):
section, I believe.
And really because we kind ofwent through the winds of grief
that we identified that ourcharacters go through and we had
kind of done sections for eachof the different emotions that
happen and activities that canmatch, which really could be
used for any of the emotions isthe secret, but we just kind of
categorize them for people tohelp out.
(17:36):
But I was right in the middleof doing the anger suction and
doing some of the activitieswith my clients and I was like,
oh my gosh, this will be so fun.
I also forgot to mention therecould be smashing involved.
So I'm just going to throw thatlast little teaser out.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I love that.
I love that I'm going to gocheck my liability insurance
with Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And for all of you who are listening, not only
you're going to learn, you'regoing to play.
There's going to be a lot ofexperiential exercises, as we
have named here.
And then the other thing isthat you're going to eat so well
, not your first heat, like fromall the food that we get from
breakfast, lunch snacks.
We were so surprised last year.
We were like this is a lot offood and good food.
(18:21):
One of the few conferenceswhere I was taken care of from
the beginning to the end.
So, thank you, maria.
I envy both of you because I'mnot going to be there this year
again, but I cannot wait to seethe pictures.
All of you are going to have ablast.
So please, listeners, go andget those last seats that
they're available.
Hurry up.
This is what, less than twomonths away, yeah, Well, it's a
(18:45):
little bit more.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
A little bit more depending on when this comes out
, but yeah, we're getting close.
We're getting close, dependingon when this comes out, but yeah
, we're getting close, we'regetting close.
I'm already like finishing upswag and like doing all the
things with the pins and yeah,it's go time, so don't wait.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
So thank you again for listening.
We will put all the informationin the podcast.
Thank you for saying yes, Tana.
I cannot wait to hear anythingmore about it and hopefully
you'll come back and talk to usmore about your new projects.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yes, I would love to Thank you all so much.
Thanks Till next time.
continue.
Welcome back listeners toanother very special bonus
episode of a Heroes Welcomepodcast.
I am your co-host, MarielaCaradiego, and I am with my
never angry co-host, Liliana.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Bailon.
I mean, like never such astrong word, but this is
definitely Liliana Bailon.
Hey, thank you for being here.
We're so excited we're havinganother bonus episode promoting
this Well, not promoting Disney,they don't need promotions but
promoting the conference that ishappening at Disney.
The Maria is hosting and we'rehere with a lovely guest.
(00:35):
Donna, how do you want tointroduce yourself to our
audience?
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hello everyone.
I am Dr Dana Weiss.
My young clients refer to me asDr Dana.
I think that's the only part ofmy name they can get out
correctly and I'm so excited.
I was so jealous.
I am in California and I was sojealous last year when I could
not participate.
My dad's birthday and thisevent coincide with each other.
(01:01):
I think they believe I'm cominghome for his birthday again
this year and I've been veryclear I'm not because I am going
to Disneyland this year.
I don't think they believe me,so it'll probably be day of and
I'll be with you.
Maria and my dad will be likewhy aren't you home?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Are you on your way?
What's happening?
Where are?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
you.
So last year I missed out andI'm so excited not just to be
there but to be able to presentthis year.
It's super exciting and I am aplay therapist, a marriage and
family therapist and an arttherapist.
My degree was in marriage andfamily therapy and art therapy
and I did that for many years,got my doctorate in expressive
therapies.
(01:42):
And then I say this on everypodcast Tammy Van Hollander,
it's all her fault, I became aplay therapist.
It's not just her fault, butalso writing the Invisible
String workbook and myassociation with the Invisible
String has also that kind ofprompted me to move into the
play therapy world and one ofthe best decisions I made in my
life.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
And now I'm going to Disneyland of the best decisions
I made in my life, and now I'mgoing to Disneyland.
It all comes back.
It all comes back.
I love that.
Yes, so this is, you arespeaker for year two of our Play
Therapy Disney bound conference, which I am just tickled pink
that you said yes, when I waslike hey, I mean I know it's a
hard sell hey, would you want togo to Disney with me and like,
(02:24):
call it work, that's a realtough sell.
But tell us a little bit aboutwhat your session's going to be
on.
And in case people haven'tregistered yet, I think I'm like
down to 12 seats.
There is like a minute left foryou to still join us.
But what are you sharing withour group?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So first I have to say I think you asked me like 10
times if I really wanted to doit.
And I was like, like you got thewords out, like Dana, I'd like
you to talk in, and I said yes,before I even knew you're saying
Disneyland.
But like I was a yes before youeven asked me.
And then I feel like you askedif you like, are you sure?
And I was like I just sent youa list of the things I want to
do in my talk, like, did you notsee my list?
(03:07):
That I've been dreaming.
So I am so excited and I'msuper excited that I got anger,
um, as the emotion that I get todive into.
Um, because that is somethingthat I have worked with my whole
career.
Most of my experience is inworking in de-escalation and
(03:28):
aggression.
I've been in you know kind ofworking in the foster care
system and group home andpsychiatric hospitals for most.
I say most of my career now,because now I'm in private
practice and I'm going to sayjust as much anger in private
practice as was in all of thoseenvironments.
But I really, and for somereason, maybe because I also
(03:50):
feel lots of anger a lot oftimes, I don't know, but for
some reason I am able to holdspace in a way that is really
uncomfortable for other peoplewhen people are raging, when
people are in really big, scarysituations.
I have been able to be ananchor for them, and I just want
to share some of the ways I dothat while still also staying
safe, because I think that'sreally a big mismatch people
(04:12):
have.
It's like either I get scared bythe anger and I just want to
shut it down, or I'm not surehow to contain it at all.
I let the person go and I don'tknow what to do and I maybe put
myself in danger, and so thatbalance is such a delicate dance
and it's also reallyoverwhelming for people, and I
(04:33):
just have some kind of abilityto sit in it and have been able
to for a long time, and I thinkthe last 13 years of my career
has been just training otherpeople how to do this well, and
I was still in the group homesetting, so still doing it and
working alongside with people,but, um, yeah, so that's a
little bit about how we got tothis topic, and I'm super
(04:56):
excited to share things I'vedone, things I haven't done.
We have some new fun things Iwant to try that I haven't been
able to.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Awesome, that's awesome.
Yeah, no, it's, it is.
I think you know.
I think, dana, when I thinkabout what you just shared, I
think one of the things thatcomes through for me is that,
both in the invisible string andhope and the ones of grief, and
with their talk on anger, yourfocus is being an anchor when
everything else feels sounsteady and big right.
I think that that's a commonthread that I see in you know,
(05:34):
I've been to some of your talkstoo and like that is.
It is like how do you maintainbeing safe and stable so that
they can do what they need toand then have the skills to help
bring them back into theirwindow of tolerance?
So yeah and yeah.
I absolutely asked you 10million times because this is
another episode topic, but likeimposter syndrome, I'm sorry, dr
(05:56):
Dana said yes to me.
Are you kidding me, are yousure?
Are you sure?
Sure, sure.
How many times can I ask you ifyou're sure before?
I'm just like, just make thereservation.
Maria put her name on the thing, do it?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
That is just.
It also, like what you justsaid, which I appreciate so much
about the anchor is so funnybecause, you know, patrice
Carson and I just did a podcastwith Carmen, did a podcast with
Carmen, amazing, amazing.
(06:31):
And Patrice has been sharing alot about her experience of
writing the Invisible String,which is a book all about
connection and love and herexperience of not having a lot
of that when she was growing upand we've kind of talked about
that experience with her andlike kind of putting out in the
world what she hasn't gotten in.
What you just said makes methink about like I have big
emotions and I have momentswhere I get angry and people
call me intimidating and call mescary and it's like I need
(06:53):
anchors and like so it's likebecoming that person for other
people that we need forourselves, which hopefully helps
that become it for ourselves,because you can't always have
that right, you can't alwaysfind that in other people.
But I think that that's such animportant part and probably why
I have such an attachment tohelping people through anger and
(07:14):
helping people experience that,because they know it is a
really scary thing for a lot ofpeople for many different
reasons.
You know, aggression is scary.
Let's be real, blood is scaryand sometimes, when there's
anger and aggression, bloodhappens.
And for some reason, like I,can handle those things.
I mean my dissertations onself-injury, I just wrote a
workbook about suicide loss.
(07:34):
I mean I dive into kind ofthese deep, hard topics a lot,
so there's something in meallows me to just sit in these.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And I so appreciate this topic, right Like there's.
Now it's becoming the theme ofeveryone talking about working
with migrants, which I soappreciate because I was like I
cannot be the only one.
But one of the problems that Ideal with the school settings is
that when a kiddo has thatjourney, anger shows up and it
(08:06):
makes sense.
It's tied to grief, it's tiedto adjustments, it's tied to the
unknown and, unfortunately,most school settings struggle
with anger because they want totame it automatically and there
is a purpose to have anger.
So, of course, for anytherapist who's listening to the
podcast today, you need thistraining so that you can see the
(08:29):
child and then just focus onthe symptom, which is the anger.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Absolutely it's like that delicate balance of
allowing the anger a spacewithout it consuming everything.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yes, yeah, and it's just becoming more and more
right.
I know I'll age as I do.
I feel I was listening to ourpodcast and I was like I feel
like I do this pretty often.
I'm going to age myself.
So in school, right forprogramming, it was anger is a
secondary emotion.
You need to see past the angerto like what's driving it and
it's like okay, but anger isalso just a primary emotion.
(09:05):
Can we just acknowledge that wehave anger and anger serves a
purpose.
It's not bad, right, like Ithink we're all walking away
from inside out and inside outto that, feelings are not bad.
Our behavior is going to bequestionable and might not be
tolerated in certain settings,but the emotions are valid and
they're important.
Communication that, if we are.
(09:26):
If our first response is just todampen it down, especially as
clinicians, what is that messagethat we're giving that person?
Right, that that's somehowwrong, you're not safe.
This is not okay.
Right, and I get it.
In the school setting, theyhave other things that are going
on, but in a clinic room, in atherapy room, a school setting,
(09:49):
they have other things that aregoing on, but in a clinic room,
in a therapy room, I really dothink it's on us to be the safe
person for them to feel theseemotions, without adding shame,
without trying to dim it downand build up those skills so
that they can manage it outsideof our room.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and for both of you, right, you just named for
again all the listeners which isthere's a difference between
the emotion and the behavior,Yet we tend to sum it up as one
when that is not the case.
So I love that you're going tobe talking about this and all
the clinicians not only having ablast being in line with other
(10:23):
clinicians while we are, youknow, talking about Disney and
Disney characters and ruinedDisney princesses for me last
year.
Shout out to Jessica.
Thank you, jessica.
I will never see Disneyprincesses the same.
You're welcome.
That's not true.
I learned so much, but I didgive Jessica grief for it.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I think that's part of it right, like part of the
drive about doing this at Disneyis to you know I mean, if you
know anything about me, popculture is my language and it's
furthering that step right.
Play therapy, we say, you know,play is a child's language,
play is anyone's language.
Like, if we look at people'sbehaviors and their play or
(11:07):
their lack thereof, it'scommunication.
And so often I keep runninginto clinicians, play therapists
, who don't play, they don'tplay themselves, right.
And so for me it was like well,if we do this at Disney, you
don't have any excuse, Like oneyou're going to drink the
Kool-Aid and the Disney magichits you.
And every you're going to comehome withool-Aid and the Disney
magic hits you.
(11:27):
And every you're going to comehome with extra ears and like
all the things, all the pins andall the pins, and my hope is
that one.
You're learning new information, but you're integrating it as
well and you're giving yourselfpermission to play for your own
pleasure and enjoyment, becausewe're losing that right.
(11:50):
And so I think it's reallypowerful, dana, for you to come
in and be like yes, and we'regoing to take one of the big
strong emotions and we're goingto talk about that.
I think that it's incredible,but tell us, can you give us
like a sneak peek, what issomething that they might walk
(12:11):
away with?
That would be new information.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Well, one you just touched on it a little bit is
that my work and my practicespans the lifespan.
So I do art and play for allages, I do couples work, I do
family work, I do adults, I doteenagers, I do children, and so
my talk is not going to be onlyabout how to use this with
children, but how do youintegrate some of these
(12:37):
activities into couples work,into other places?
Which is a talk I did foranother group was adult work
with play therapy and how to youknow, obviously, navigate it
and talk about it.
I talk about it a little bit,not for everybody actually.
I have a client who is full ofplay therapy and we have fun,
but there are people who theplay is hard for them, which is
(12:59):
part of why they're strugglingand coming to me for couples
therapy, and so part of the talkis really about that piece of
it, like how do we really usethese tools in age appropriate
ways that feel comfortable forpeople throughout the lifespan?
And then I would say the otherpiece of it is leaning into a
(13:23):
little bit of science, a littlebit of art and a little bit of
play in the activities.
So I can maybe tease that theremight be some kind of volcanoes
happening that you may havenever seen before.
There may be some explosions,but I'm going to have to talk
with Maria to just find out andmake sure we have a space where
I can do this, where we don'tget kicked out.
(13:43):
I've been on lists before.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You don't want to be on Disney's bad list.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
There may be explosions.
If we can find the right place,I will figure it out one way or
another.
There's going to be a way tokind of integrate this and think
about also like that balanceright.
Like there are some like I'llgive an example I have.
We'll call them lightsabers,but they're really pool noodles
(14:09):
which everyone has in theiroffice.
There are clients that the poolnoodles are great tool for that
have anger and need to get itout, and there are clients who
have anger and need to get outand the pool noodle is not a
great tool for them.
It escalates them more, itmakes them feel out of control,
and so we'll also talk about thenavigation of that Like what am
(14:30):
I doing that may make somethingworse or more out of control
instead of help them release itand think about that.
And then tons of resources.
I mean I've read a ton of greatbooks, so there are things that
I will give the group that kindof like a resource list that
they can take with them andcontinue learning.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
How lucky for all of you who are going to go and play
.
Even though you're an hour inline to get a game, the hour
goes really fast because Mariais able to organize and people
start like texting each other sothey can hold online Like it's
an awesome experience.
(15:11):
All of you are going to have ablast.
I did it last year and, yeah,me and my son, who was 21, like
we were getting up early andgoing and play.
We had a blast.
He's bummed that we're notgoing this year, but again we
will go next year.
Thank you, thank you for fordoing this.
I am so excited to see all thepictures, because now I'm like I
(15:32):
know you're gonna have to goand find anger in Disneyland and
then take a picture.
Um, that's gonna be so awesome.
Um, any other last thing thatwe want to share with them
before we let you go?
Um, adia and Donna for me.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I mean, I get to use these special episodes to also
just like very loudly say thankyou, thank you for being a part
of this.
I know it's not really a hardsell, but it is also.
It's different and you're stillvery much taking a chance on me
and this new event, much takinga chance on me and this new
(16:11):
event, and that does not gounnoticed or unappreciated.
And the way you said anger sofast when I was like, hey, if I
do Inside Out, which anger Iwant anger.
It just lights me up because Ithink that's the other thing is
that you can tell you're verypassionate and very proud of the
(16:31):
work that you're doing and I'mjust so thankful that this will
be another opportunity for thatto reach a new audience.
And I mean that means that weget to go play in Disneyland
together for a week.
Dana Like.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I mean, it's a it's a hard job I have.
I can't tell you how manypeople have been like wait, your
job is about to be inDisneyland.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is my friends.
I feel so honored to be askedand I think when you asked me it
was right when I was in theheart of finishing Hope and the
Winds of Grief workbook, whichis a it's a children's book and
a workbook related to suicideloss, and I was on the anger
(17:15):
section, I believe.
And really because we kind ofwent through the winds of grief
that we identified that ourcharacters go through and we had
kind of done sections for eachof the different emotions that
happen and activities that canmatch, which really could be
used for any of the emotions isthe secret, but we just kind of
categorize them for people tohelp out.
(17:36):
But I was right in the middleof doing the anger suction and
doing some of the activitieswith my clients and I was like,
oh my gosh, this will be so fun.
I also forgot to mention therecould be smashing involved.
So I'm just going to throw thatlast little teaser out.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I love that.
I love that I'm going to gocheck my liability insurance
with Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And for all of you who are listening, not only
you're going to learn, you'regoing to play.
There's going to be a lot ofexperiential exercises, as we
have named here.
And then the other thing isthat you're going to eat so well
, not your first heat, like fromall the food that we get from
breakfast, lunch snacks.
We were so surprised last year.
We were like this is a lot offood and good food.
(18:21):
One of the few conferenceswhere I was taken care of from
the beginning to the end.
So, thank you, maria.
I envy both of you because I'mnot going to be there this year
again, but I cannot wait to seethe pictures.
All of you are going to have ablast.
So please, listeners, go andget those last seats that
they're available.
Hurry up.
This is what, less than twomonths away, yeah, Well, it's a
(18:45):
little bit more.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
A little bit more depending on when this comes out
, but yeah, we're getting close.
We're getting close, dependingon when this comes out, but yeah
, we're getting close, we'regetting close.
I'm already like finishing upswag and like doing all the
things with the pins and yeah,it's go time, so don't wait.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
So thank you again for listening.
We will put all the informationin the podcast.
Thank you for saying yes, Tana.
I cannot wait to hear anythingmore about it and hopefully
you'll come back and talk to usmore about your new projects.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yes, I would love to Thank you all so much.
Thanks Till next time.
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