Icebergs and Illusions: Navigating Life's Expectations and Realities

Icebergs and Illusions: Navigating Life's Expectations and Realities

In this solo podcast episode, Jen Banks delves into the topic of 'Icebergs and Illusions,' discussing how expectations about having more time, energy, money, influence, and better relationships often don't align with reality. Through personal stories and reflections, the narrative explores the illusions that many people have about improving aspects of their lives, such as thinking one would have more of a resource if circumstances were different. Jen emphasizes the importance of self-work, realistic expectations, and appreciating what one has. Additionally, the iceberg metaphor is used to describe managing visible tasks versus the hidden, larger workload, suggesting a focus on gradual improvement. The episode encourages listeners to reevaluate how they use their resources and to consider their true influence and potential for happiness without holding onto unrealistic expectations.

00:00 Welcome and Solo Episode Preview 00:43 The Upcoming Author Adventure 00:58 Busyness and Balancing Life 01:34 Icebergs and Illusions: Unpacking Life's Expectations 03:05 Illusion 1: The Myth of More Time 05:03 Illusion 2: The Energy Paradox 07:19 Illusion 3: Financial Fantasies 08:53 Illusion 4: Influence Illusions 09:51 Illusion 5: Relationship Realities 10:20 Concluding Thoughts on Life's Illusions 12:32 Acknowledgments and Farewell

#Podcast #MindsetMonday #Illusions #RealityCheck #PerspectiveShift #PodcastLife #ProductivityHacks #BalanceIsKey #MythsDebunked #NewMindset #HiddenTruths #SelfReflection #SelfGrowth #BreakTheIllusion #LiveYourTruth #Authenticity

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---Title: Unveiling Illusions and Icebergs: Navigating Life's Challenges---

In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the illusions we create in our minds. We often find ourselves thinking, "I'd have so much time if..." or "I'd have so much energy if...", constructing barriers that hinder us from fully experiencing and embracing the present moment. But as Jen Banks shares in her insightful podcast episode titled "Icebergs and Illusions," these illusions are just that - illusions.

### The Illusion of Time Jen delves into the common misconception that if we had more time, we would be able to accomplish all our tasks and dreams. However, she reveals that time is relative and how we choose to spend it is what truly matters. By sharing her personal experiences of juggling motherhood and responsibilities, Jen highlights the importance of being present and making intentional choices with our time.

### The Energy Exchange Another illusion Jen explores is the idea that we would have more energy if we could outsource tasks. She emphasizes that our energy will be directed elsewhere, and it's crucial to focus on what truly matters to us. By acknowledging our desires and values, we can make informed decisions on where to invest our energy.

### Money Matters Jen reflects on the illusion that having more money would solve our problems. She challenges this notion by emphasizing that money is a reflection of our values and priorities. By understanding what truly brings us joy and fulfillment, we can make conscious decisions on how to manage our finances.

### The Influence Conundrum In a world consumed by social media metrics, Jen addresses the illusion of equating influence with follower count. She reminds us that true influence stems from the impact we have on others, regardless of the size of our platform. By focusing on cultivating deep connections and meaningful interactions, we can make a difference in the lives of those around us.

### Relationship Realizations Lastly, Jen touches upon the illusion that our relationships would improve if external factors changed. Drawing from her own journey, she highlights the importance of self-growth and personal development in nurturing healthy relationships. By focusing on ourselv

Episode Transcript

Jen Banks (00:22):
+Hello, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you for joining me.
It's so good to be here and talk to you.
I am excited to do another soloepisode, although last episode wasn't
really a solo episode because Ihad it so scripted, but this week
will be much more conversational,low key, well as conversational
as it can be on a podcast, right?

(00:43):
And I am batch recording because nextweek I leave on my author adventure.
Oh my goodness.
I'm going to write my book in a week.
So follow me on Instagram to see howthat's going at A is for Adversity.
But no matter how busy peopleare, they're never too busy to
talk about how busy they are.
So here I am talkingabout all the busyness.

(01:05):
My husband makes fun of me because Hesays, here is your plate, very small,
and here is all of the food thatyou're trying to put on that plate.
Very, very big.
Too much.
And I always feel like when I clearout space to have more time, I just
fill that up with other things.
So I'm working on holding time sacredand just really setting it apart for

(01:28):
what I have intended it to be andmaking those intentional choices.
Today's episode I am calling Icebergsand Illusions because I feel like we
just have this idea or expectation inour head of how things could be, but when
it really comes down to it, it's not anydifferent than what we're currently doing.

(01:49):
So not to be a downer either, but injust a way to examine our thoughts
and what's going on in our minds.
I'll give you them as an example and thenI will have a personal story for each one.
So there are five.
The first illusion is I'd haveso much time if dot, dot, dot.

(02:13):
The second is I'd have somuch energy if dot, dot, dot.
The third, I'd have so muchmoney if dot, dot, dot.
The fourth, I'd have so muchinfluence if dot, dot, dot.
And the fifth, I'd have a muchbetter relationship if Well,

(02:35):
spoilers, there's no arrival,unless you're talking about Google.
You've arrived.
Life is just a constant learning.
We don't get to a certaindestination or place in our life
that there's always challenges.
There's always problems.
There's always joy.
There's all sorts of things coming at us.

(02:57):
We don't just get to themountaintop and stay there.
There's so much more to life than that.
Crazy, huh?
So let's go to the first one.
And these are Resources more or lessor just things that we have in our
life that I tried to narrow it down to.
So the first one, I'dhave so much more time if.

(03:19):
And this one comes up for me a lotwith my kids because when I'm with
my kids, I think about all thethings I could be doing when I'm not.
They're not there and when my kids aren'tthere Then I think about all the things
that I could be doing with them It'sjust kind of a grass is greener sort
of situation But I do put my boys indaycare once a week on Wednesdays and

(03:40):
then I recently met a friend or made afriend I guess who is a nurse and She
wants to trade ten hours out of time sothat she can pick up some extra shifts.
And so on Monday, she watched my boysfor 10 hours and I thought I was going to

(04:02):
have so much time and so much to do, butit's an illusion because the day went by
so fast and I know that time is relativeand if I super plan it out, maybe I could.
I could have done all the things thatI wanted to do, but the goal isn't
always more, more, more productivity,productivity, productivity.

(04:23):
You want to have time for relaxing.
And so I exercised, I showered, I wasplaying with my oldest son who didn't go.
I took him to school.
I did some other jobs andresponsibilities around the house.
I did one or two things offmy to do list and then it was
already time to pick them up.
So it's an illusion.

(04:44):
If you feel like you would justhave so much time, if It's not true.
Your time would just bespent in different ways.
And, you know, we all onlyhave 24 hours in a day.
So, hoping that you and I canloosen up on that illusion that
we would have more time if.
The next one, I'd haveso much more energy if.

(05:08):
And what came up for me is just all the,what's the word, appeal of outsourcing.
There's so many things these daysthat you can outsource and so many
ways that you can hire help or trade.
But, Again, it's kind of like withour time, your energy would just
be exchanged in a different way.
You'd be spending yourenergy in a different way.

(05:30):
And the point I want to bring across aswe discuss these is they open a window
to what we want to increase in our lifeor what we want our life to look like.
And that's so great.
Anytime we can get insight intothat, we can have more leverage over
controlling it or influence aboutshaping our lives and how we want

(05:53):
it to look and who we want to be.
So lately I haven't had abandwidth energy, you name
it, for organizing my house.
I love my house to be organized,and I love everything in its place,
and a lot of people say, oh you havelittle kids, it's probably not the
season for that, but I'm realizinghow much it affects my mental space.

(06:17):
It really clutters up my mind whenmy physical Space is cluttered.
And so I am, I am going to hire somehelp to outsource that specific task.
But again, if you outsource everything,then what would you be doing?
Your energy would be going somewhere.
It would be going to something.
And, and we know work is good for us andthere are things that are stimulating,

(06:42):
but we can pick and choose what we wantto outsource or if we should outsource.
And again, that just comesfrom our desires, our
shoulds, not societal shoulds.
You, your house can look however you want.
And oftentimes a messyhouse does mean happy kids.
And, hmm.

(07:03):
Yeah.
I, I just know that if I work alittle bit more on that, then.
I'll clear a little bit of theheadspace to focus on what else
I want to spend my energy on.
Next, I'd have so much money if Minewould be if I was a better saver.

(07:26):
You know, there's a lot of waysto generate income and there's a
lot of ways to spend that income.
But again, time, money, energy, it'sall just an indication of what we
value, what we want in our life.
And If I did save all that money, thenI wouldn't have other things in my life.
We always have heard the, if you sayyes to something, you're saying no to

(07:49):
something else or many other things.
It's the implied no.
And if we just hold on so tight toour money, then we're not going to be
giving or even receiving because we'rejust so stuck on, on that set amount.

(08:11):
I am very much a spender and while I couldand Do try to reign it in a little bit.
There are things that I enjoy spendingmy money on, just like you, I'm sure.
I really love hosting partiesand giving gifts and events.
I don't buy tangible things very often.

(08:32):
Clothes, gadgets, latest and greatest.
fads, but I do enjoy, like Isaid, people and parties and
gifts and all those things.
Other people value travel, sothey're spending their money on that.
And again, it's just a windowinto what you do want in your
life and how you want to live.

(08:53):
Next is, I'd have so much more influenceif The one that always gets me is, if
I just had more followers on Instagram.
But I love the example that allyou need is a hundred true fans.
If those people are really rootingfor you and buying all of your
products and supporting you, you'llbe able to make a successful business.

(09:15):
It doesn't matter the percentage offollowers you have, it just matters
the percentage of active followersor people that are truly engaged
in your content or your services.
So regardless, it just matters.

(09:36):
You don't have to have a platform,I guess is what I'm saying.
You can do good in your sphereof influence, and that's great.
You could have a big influence on asmall number of people, and that's huge.
Okay, and lastly, I'd have a much betterrelationship if as I've learned from
my friend, Brenda, the restored wife,it's all about you in a relationship.

(10:00):
If you were starting a new relationship,you'd still be bringing you along with it.
So the more we can work on ourselves.
That's what will influenceour relationship.
It won't change if our spouse just didsomething else or it was a certain way.
You are the one that hascontrol and you steer the ship.
So I hope that helped in some way, justworking through these illusions of we

(10:28):
think life would be better if, or thegrass would be greener if, but the grass
really is greener where you water it.
It's your perspective.
It's what you're doing to shapeyour experience here and how
you're using your resources.
The iceberg part of this episodeis, I feel like the things that I

(10:52):
get done in a day are the thingsthat would be more important.
appearing at the top of an iceberg.
You've all seen that picture where thetop of the iceberg is a much smaller
piece that you can see on top thanit is underneath the water below.
And sometimes it gets frustrating becauseI just really want to tackle all those
things under the water that are belowthe iceberg that are piling up, but it's

(11:17):
not realistic to just Knock them all outin one day or a short period of time.
It takes time.
And so as much as it is hard, I'm justtrying to chip away at the bottom day by
day as I do the things on top every day.
And whether that means outsourcinga little bit or the way that

(11:39):
I'm spending my time and money.
If I need to change my perspectiveor the things that I'm focusing
on, then that's what it means.
One of my favorite little takeawayswas just do one job every day,
and jobs stood for just one bite.
And again, we're just trucking along,we're in the trenches, we're doing it

(12:01):
little by little, but over time it willamount to chipping away at that iceberg.
And again, we never arrive, so I'm surethere will always be things that are
added to it, but As we gain clarity onhow we're spending our resources, what
we're doing, we can direct our energy andtime and money in the right direction.

(12:26):
I hope you're doing well andhaving a great week and I will
talk to you again next week.
Thank you as always to Blanefrom Ride the Wave Media.
He is the executive producer ofthis podcast and many more podcasts
that can be found on Ride theWave Follow me on Instagram and I
will talk to you again next week.

(12:46):
Bye!