315| Why Don't Your Leadership Habits Stick? (The Identity vs. Behavior Problem) and What to do Instead!

Hey Friend!

Ever feel like you're stuck in the hamster wheel of good intentions? You know what you should do as a leader, but somehow you keep falling back into the same patterns. Whether it's avoiding difficult conversations, letting your workout routine slide, or saying yes when you mean no, the cycle feels endless. Today we're talking about how to break free from behavior-based changes that don't stick and start building from the inside out. Because here's the truth: Rome wasn't built in a day, but it also wasn't built by accident.

💬 "You don't need more forced discipline. You need a clearer identity." ~Tami Imlay

Want to Go Deeper?

Ready to get clear on your next leadership move? Book a Leadership Strategy Call—your blueprint to clarity, confidence, and impact. 👉 TamiMarieCoaching.com/call

 

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• Identity beats willpower every time — Motivation has a two-week shelf life, but "I am someone who..." statements create lasting transformation
• The Two-Day Rule changes everything — Missing once is human; missing twice builds a different story (and identity)
• Your brain doesn't register negatives — When you say "I'm not someone who skips the gym," your brain hears "skip the gym"
• Link habits to purpose, not just performance — Move from "I have to" to "I get to because it's who I'm becoming"
• Let identity drive action, not emotion — Emotions are a 90-second thermometer, not your decision-making system

✨ The One Thing You Don’t Want to Miss:

➡️ The Three Bricks to Build Identity That Sticks: Speak to who you ARE (not who you're not), link it to purpose (not just performance), and let identity drive action (not emotion). This is how you go from trying to change behaviors to embodying the leader you're meant to be.

💪 Challenge if you choose to accept it:

Choose ONE identity statement that starts with "I am someone who..." and ties to your leadership vision. Write it down, anchor it to your deeper purpose, and implement the Two-Day Rule. Watch how quickly your actions align when your identity leads.

📝 Journal Prompt for Reflection:

"Who am I becoming as a leader, and what would that version of me do in this situation?"

🧠 SHINE™ Framework Connection: Before you can lead others with conviction, you need crystal-clear awareness of who you are and who you're becoming. Most leaders try to fix behaviors without addressing identity, which is why change feels so hard. When you see yourself clearly as the leader you're meant to be, your actions naturally follow.

 

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Thank you for being here, Friend. You are capable, you are seen, and you are ready to step into your calling. Choose joy until joy chooses you! 💛

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