June 12, 2023 • 9 mins
Join Morgan and Sydnei as they dive into the spicy topic of initiating relationships. Get ready for an intriguing conversation that challenges traditional gender roles and explores finding love in the age of empowerment. Grab your headphones and tune in as they drop some truth bombs, leaving you with the ultimate message: God's got you, boo!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Morgan Adrine (00:00):
So I said, It's he who finds a wife. So, first
(00:06):
how, you feeling, are you spicymeter?
Sydnei Sellers (00:09):
Morg? I think I'm at a jalapeno,
Morgan Adrine (00:12):
jalapeno. Okay.
I'm still, when I say before,habanero, still up there a
little warm. Yeah, I'm still upthere. Because I have a serious
question I want to ask. So I hada person I will say, a person of
wisdom and older person told methat essentially, in shorter
words, if I am, if I if thefirst quote unquote, attraction,
(00:35):
or if the first move is made byme, then that's not my person.
And to sum it up, that's prettymuch what they say, because and
then they gave me thescriptures, He who finds a wife?
Sure, we've heard that before.
So what I want to ask to you isnot necessarily do you agree
(00:56):
with that? But is there anythingwrong with me, I guess, making
the first move or having thatfirst moment of attraction?
Like, am I supposed to beplaying like, quiet role and let
him approach me? Or can I?
Sydnei Sellers (01:19):
You know, this is an interesting topic, because
I actually was just talkingabout this the other day. And to
be honest, I think a lot of theways in which dating and
courting were happening, are abit outdated, to be honest, I
mean, what the thought that keptbringing, when you said it was
(01:41):
the consistent statement thatmen are natural hunters, right
like that, they have to huntyou, they got to seek you. They
like the chase, the thrill ofthe chase, and all of these
things. And to be honest, forme, I think I've only ever, like
approached a guy one time. And Idon't even think that I I would,
(02:03):
I would consider that approachhim because I was the one that
like, reached out to initiate adate. But it wasn't, I wasn't
the first one to reach out toinitiate attraction, or that
there was something you know,that could potentially come out
of this. I honestly don'tnecessarily think that there's a
right or wrong way. I think alot of times we get caught we
(02:27):
get so caught up in like, theformalities of stuff that we
miss out on stuff. So I alwaysgo back to like, trusting like
my gut, and my intuition and mydiscernment, like, God, should I
pull up or wait for him to pullup? You know, but then also you
(02:48):
can tell, like, when a guy'sinterested or not, right? And
then like, I'd never act or doanything that I feel like, would
make me regret doing something,if that makes sense. So sort of,
like feeling, feeling scene,like feeling the space like this
person? Or does this safe? Isthis space feel safe enough to
(03:11):
reach out, or to be the firstone to say something, you know,
Morgan Adrine (03:15):
but then I also feel like, and we've talked
about this before, that kind ofplays into more and more, I'm
seeing especially in like ourgeneration that guys almost
expect you to be the quoteunquote, Hunter, or the one that
approaches them. And, you know,that's where, you know, the
person that told me is He whofinds a wife, that's more so
(03:35):
like, the space that she wascoming from was like, you know,
she was trying to say, like,your generation is backwards,
because if you ever feel theneed to initiate anything with
the man, that's the problem. Andlike, I listened, I didn't
completely agree, but I alsowasn't sure how to feel because
I also never want to get socaught up in these ideas or, you
(03:58):
know, gender roles that again,I'm gonna say you like block
your own blessing. But it's hardto and again, I never I never do
anything that I don't want todo. I never compromise myself
for what I believe in. Sounderstanding that it was like
Well, again, like Am I justsupposed to be sitting here just
(04:20):
waiting for him to just approachme and ask my number or if I am
attracted to you? Can I hollalike you gonna say? And I don't
know. I feel like again withthis generation. We as women
we're kind of dominating thelike we're leading that so it's
hard for it's hard to understandanything different because it's
(04:41):
like well then if that's thecase, I'm be alone to the day I
Sydnei Sellers (04:44):
It is definitely a murky waters. murky waters. I
die.
think that with me specificallyand like dating I try to err on
the side of my confidence. Ithink oftentimes, the feeling or
need of like, validation orapproval is attached to whether
or not you reach out, right?
Because we're nobody likesrejection, right? Nobody likes
(05:05):
to be like, oh, so I reached outto him and he didn't respond.
Right? Right. Same thing withguys. Like, oh, I reached out to
her, and she never hit me back,I think, heavy emphasis on like,
assessing the situation anddoing whatever it is that you're
comfortable with. Becausesociety is so flipped, right?
(05:29):
Like, I don't necessarily go offof a rule book when it comes to
like, approaching a man or in anenvironment, right? There's
different things or cues you cangive, like, if you were in the
presence of somebody, and you,you know, like them, and then
you look, and then they look,and then you could tell if
(05:52):
you're both looking, right, thenit's like, okay, we'll walk over
to you know, say, but when youstart to do like, Instagram, or
like DM sliddin yeah, theyreally might be, you know, I
landed on DM first, right? So, Imean, I think it's just it's not
really one size fits all, youknow, like, comfortability is
(06:16):
important, I think. And doingwhatever it is you feel
comfortable with doing whenapproaching, you know, a man,
but I do think some positionsand things are supposed to be
reserved for men.
Morgan Adrine (06:33):
I just never want to block my own blessings. But I
also don't want to compromise myown femininity.
Sydnei Sellers (06:42):
I, I can agree with that. But when you suggest
like blocking your blessing, Ilook at like, blessings and like
my person. Like, there's nothingthat I could do to keep me away
from this person. Like, so like,me not sliding in his dms won't
(07:05):
keep me from him. If this is whoGod said, is for me, right? So I
think a lot of times we put somuch heavy emphasis on being
able to be the selector of ourfate and like, our lives that is
like we have we give ourselvesmore control than we really,
(07:27):
right. So like the idea that younot sliding in somebody's DMS
could be keeping you from yourhusband. You know, that
anything? Like you don't gotGod? No. No. We do all the time.
Like we think even inrelationships are even thinking
about tolerating too much,right? Like I really in my core
of my heart for like the personthat God has selected for me. If
(07:50):
he got to jump from one buildingto the next, if God told that
man that I was for him, he'll doit outside. Right? Okay, he's
outside. So I think likeremembering that to like that.
It's almost error proof in termsof like purpose and like who
he's supposed to be with and myopinion and like things that
(08:11):
I've experienced in saying thatsomething as simple as like
sliding in the DM or having aboundary that set too high or an
idea of how you should betreated is not something that
will keep your husband from you.
Morgan Adrine (08:23):
I like to so will be a final note to the home
girls.
Sydnei Sellers (08:28):
My final note to the home girls would be God got
you boo.
Morgan Adrine (08:35):
Simple and sweet and we dropped the mic
So I said, It's he who finds a wife. So, first
(00:06):
how, you feeling, are you spicymeter?
Sydnei Sellers (00:09):
Morg? I think I'm at a jalapeno,
Morgan Adrine (00:12):
jalapeno. Okay.
I'm still, when I say before,habanero, still up there a
little warm. Yeah, I'm still upthere. Because I have a serious
question I want to ask. So I hada person I will say, a person of
wisdom and older person told methat essentially, in shorter
words, if I am, if I if thefirst quote unquote, attraction,
(00:35):
or if the first move is made byme, then that's not my person.
And to sum it up, that's prettymuch what they say, because and
then they gave me thescriptures, He who finds a wife?
Sure, we've heard that before.
So what I want to ask to you isnot necessarily do you agree
(00:56):
with that? But is there anythingwrong with me, I guess, making
the first move or having thatfirst moment of attraction?
Like, am I supposed to beplaying like, quiet role and let
him approach me? Or can I?
Sydnei Sellers (01:19):
You know, this is an interesting topic, because
I actually was just talkingabout this the other day. And to
be honest, I think a lot of theways in which dating and
courting were happening, are abit outdated, to be honest, I
mean, what the thought that keptbringing, when you said it was
(01:41):
the consistent statement thatmen are natural hunters, right
like that, they have to huntyou, they got to seek you. They
like the chase, the thrill ofthe chase, and all of these
things. And to be honest, forme, I think I've only ever, like
approached a guy one time. And Idon't even think that I I would,
(02:03):
I would consider that approachhim because I was the one that
like, reached out to initiate adate. But it wasn't, I wasn't
the first one to reach out toinitiate attraction, or that
there was something you know,that could potentially come out
of this. I honestly don'tnecessarily think that there's a
right or wrong way. I think alot of times we get caught we
(02:27):
get so caught up in like, theformalities of stuff that we
miss out on stuff. So I alwaysgo back to like, trusting like
my gut, and my intuition and mydiscernment, like, God, should I
pull up or wait for him to pullup? You know, but then also you
(02:48):
can tell, like, when a guy'sinterested or not, right? And
then like, I'd never act or doanything that I feel like, would
make me regret doing something,if that makes sense. So sort of,
like feeling, feeling scene,like feeling the space like this
person? Or does this safe? Isthis space feel safe enough to
(03:11):
reach out, or to be the firstone to say something, you know,
Morgan Adrine (03:15):
but then I also feel like, and we've talked
about this before, that kind ofplays into more and more, I'm
seeing especially in like ourgeneration that guys almost
expect you to be the quoteunquote, Hunter, or the one that
approaches them. And, you know,that's where, you know, the
person that told me is He whofinds a wife, that's more so
(03:35):
like, the space that she wascoming from was like, you know,
she was trying to say, like,your generation is backwards,
because if you ever feel theneed to initiate anything with
the man, that's the problem. Andlike, I listened, I didn't
completely agree, but I alsowasn't sure how to feel because
I also never want to get socaught up in these ideas or, you
(03:58):
know, gender roles that again,I'm gonna say you like block
your own blessing. But it's hardto and again, I never I never do
anything that I don't want todo. I never compromise myself
for what I believe in. Sounderstanding that it was like
Well, again, like Am I justsupposed to be sitting here just
(04:20):
waiting for him to just approachme and ask my number or if I am
attracted to you? Can I hollalike you gonna say? And I don't
know. I feel like again withthis generation. We as women
we're kind of dominating thelike we're leading that so it's
hard for it's hard to understandanything different because it's
(04:41):
like well then if that's thecase, I'm be alone to the day I
Sydnei Sellers (04:44):
It is definitely a murky waters. murky waters. I
die.
think that with me specificallyand like dating I try to err on
the side of my confidence. Ithink oftentimes, the feeling or
need of like, validation orapproval is attached to whether
or not you reach out, right?
Because we're nobody likesrejection, right? Nobody likes
(05:05):
to be like, oh, so I reached outto him and he didn't respond.
Right? Right. Same thing withguys. Like, oh, I reached out to
her, and she never hit me back,I think, heavy emphasis on like,
assessing the situation anddoing whatever it is that you're
comfortable with. Becausesociety is so flipped, right?
(05:29):
Like, I don't necessarily go offof a rule book when it comes to
like, approaching a man or in anenvironment, right? There's
different things or cues you cangive, like, if you were in the
presence of somebody, and you,you know, like them, and then
you look, and then they look,and then you could tell if
(05:52):
you're both looking, right, thenit's like, okay, we'll walk over
to you know, say, but when youstart to do like, Instagram, or
like DM sliddin yeah, theyreally might be, you know, I
landed on DM first, right? So, Imean, I think it's just it's not
really one size fits all, youknow, like, comfortability is
(06:16):
important, I think. And doingwhatever it is you feel
comfortable with doing whenapproaching, you know, a man,
but I do think some positionsand things are supposed to be
reserved for men.
Morgan Adrine (06:33):
I just never want to block my own blessings. But I
also don't want to compromise myown femininity.
Sydnei Sellers (06:42):
I, I can agree with that. But when you suggest
like blocking your blessing, Ilook at like, blessings and like
my person. Like, there's nothingthat I could do to keep me away
from this person. Like, so like,me not sliding in his dms won't
(07:05):
keep me from him. If this is whoGod said, is for me, right? So I
think a lot of times we put somuch heavy emphasis on being
able to be the selector of ourfate and like, our lives that is
like we have we give ourselvesmore control than we really,
(07:27):
right. So like the idea that younot sliding in somebody's DMS
could be keeping you from yourhusband. You know, that
anything? Like you don't gotGod? No. No. We do all the time.
Like we think even inrelationships are even thinking
about tolerating too much,right? Like I really in my core
of my heart for like the personthat God has selected for me. If
(07:50):
he got to jump from one buildingto the next, if God told that
man that I was for him, he'll doit outside. Right? Okay, he's
outside. So I think likeremembering that to like that.
It's almost error proof in termsof like purpose and like who
he's supposed to be with and myopinion and like things that
(08:11):
I've experienced in saying thatsomething as simple as like
sliding in the DM or having aboundary that set too high or an
idea of how you should betreated is not something that
will keep your husband from you.
Morgan Adrine (08:23):
I like to so will be a final note to the home
girls.
Sydnei Sellers (08:28):
My final note to the home girls would be God got
you boo.
Morgan Adrine (08:35):
Simple and sweet and we dropped the mic
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