June 12, 2023 • 18 mins
In this episode of "A Letter to My Homegirls," Morgan Adrine and Sydnei Sellers candidly talk about intentional dating in today's society. They discuss the challenges of finding quality partners and the importance of being intentional in their dating choices. Morgan emphasizes the five key factors she looks for in a potential partner: consistency, vulnerability, security, transparency, and motivation. While acknowledging that there may be a scarcity of suitable matches, they also explore the significance of assessing one's environment and expectations. They encourage embracing personal non-negotiables and avoiding the pressure to settle for less. The episode provides insightful perspectives on intentional dating and empowers listeners to prioritize their happiness and fulfillment in relationships.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:41):
So I said this a letter to myhome girls. So Sydnei, how you
feeling? Were you at on spicymeter to spice it up a little
(01:03):
bit?
Sydnei Sellers (01:04):
I'm still going to let my banana pepper Yep. I'm
Adam. banana pepper. What aboutyou?
Morgan Adrine (01:15):
Dats dead might as well be a bell. Um, I'm still
a Thai Thai pepper. Okay, spicy.
Too spicy, but little spicy.
Okay, make sure you catch yourbreath. Um, so I'm going to talk
about intentional dating.
Because this is something thathas come up a lot, it comes up a
lot my friend groups. Um, Ifirst want to start off by
(01:37):
asking I know the definition,but for those who may not, what
does intentional dating mean andlook like?
Sydnei Sellers (01:47):
That's a loaded question.
Morgan Adrine (01:48):
The spark note version,
Sydnei Sellers (01:51):
the spark note version. Okay. So for me, and as
it pertains to my life and whereI am. Intentional dating, I
think is first identifying whoyou are, why you're here.
Second, identifying individualpurpose, and then what it looks
(02:14):
like for another person to jointhat purpose. Outside of like,
your own desires, right, right.
So really just taking yourselfoutside of like, what it is that
I want, for me in my mission oflife, but really taking a look
at what you feel like God hascreated you for and how to
(02:35):
fulfill that mission withsomeone else.
Morgan Adrine (02:39):
Okay, so now that we know what international
dating is, how like,realistically do you feel like
in today's society, we canintentionally date because me
personally, I feel as if yousaid this earlier, the dating
pool is contaminated by urine,some other things, but we'll
just say urine. So we're notgetting a whole it's a whole
(03:03):
bunch of quantity, and noquality. Like I'm seeing liquid,
but nothing is chlorinatedwater. So it makes it real hard
to be intentional, when thepeople that are in this pool
don't have any substance or lackof their of.
Sydnei Sellers (03:26):
Yes, so I can definitely second that. And
oftentimes we'll I mean, in myown experience. It's really
about positioning for me whenintentional dating, right. So I
believe in God. Right? Right.
Jesus is the thing. Like he'sthe head of my life, like, give
testimony right now, right. Butaside from that, I also believe
(03:49):
that every part of my life ispurposed. Okay, so I do think
that the world is definitelycontaminated. There's absolutely
pee inside of the pool.
Morgan Adrine (04:02):
Right? But where are some other things, a lot of
Sydnei Sellers (04:05):
other miscellaneous items. But one of
the things or what keeps mehopeful, I would say right with
all of this contamination, isthe fact that I believe that God
has an intention for me in mylife, that supersedes what I
understand today. Okay, and Iuse that and operate in that
(04:27):
light in that lane with date andalso so it's very easy for me to
pick up on vibes right realcommon term, if it's a vibe,
it's not vibe and we not vibingthat's not a vibe, right? Real
quick, right? Because I haveintentions for myself. I also
know what I feel like God hascreated me for so I look for
those things in other people soI don't waste a whole lot of
Morgan Adrine (04:50):
Right at all. I feel like me being 24 and being
time.
out about a year and a half nowbeing out a really A ship that
no longer served me and mypurpose, I completely agree with
you. Like, I know that I have apurpose, I know that I have a
plan. I know that God's plansupersedes my own plan. However,
(05:12):
it's hard to stay hopeful. Whenthe people of my generation
don't, they don't like theydon't make me, they don't give
me a sense of hope, I shouldsay, like the guys in my age
bracket, let's say 23 to 31.
Again, because I swear I canbase my dating knowledge. Um,
(05:33):
they are least the ones thatI've experienced, they don't
like do it for me. And when Isay like, what I look for when
I'm because I'm in a phase ofintentional dating, because I
don't have energy or time towaste when someone who I feel
like can I hope serve mypurpose. So the five things out
for like, I look forconsistency, vulnerability. I'm
(05:55):
bad, because this
Sydnei Sellers (06:03):
is like the load consistency,
Morgan Adrine (06:05):
vulnerability, security, transparency, and I
look for somebody that canmotivate me. So I feel like the
first four are kind oftransparent consistency. You can
say that you like me, but areyou being consistent in your
actions? Are you showing up inthe ways I need you to show up
for me? Is the energy consistenttransparency? Are you being
transparent? vulnerability? Doyou know how to effectively
(06:28):
communicate your emotions? Doyou have that emotional
intelligence about yourself? Areyou being vulnerable? Security
that are so just relates to Ifeel like security is kind of
twofold. First part, do you havei dunno? Like, do you just make
me feel protected? Do you havethat energy that when we go out
or when we go places, I feelprotected? Like I feel like I
(06:51):
can lessen my alpha personality?
Because I know that you're gonnastand up for me and you
together? I don't have to be theforce you can. And then the
second part is Do you provide mewith the security in our
relationship? Like, do you makeme feel secure as a woman
knowing that this is essentiallywhat you want, but then I felt
like motivation is a big part,I've done a lot, I plan on still
(07:13):
accomplishing a lot. I'm in theworks to do a lot. So I am very
self motivated person. But I'llalso look for the people around
me to motivate me as well. Doyou motivate me by what you're
doing? By what I see that you'reaccomplishing by our use? Like
trying to better yourself?
(07:35):
Whatever way that looks likespiritually, emotionally,
financially? Are you doingsomething that makes me want to
be a better person? And, again,I'm not saying everybody is like
this, but the reason why I'mstill single today is because
what's the reason why I have notfound all of those five factors?
Sydnei Sellers (07:55):
So okay, so you know, I just stated that I'm
very intentional person, right?
Believe that God, you know, hesovereign over everything,
right. One of the importantthings I think, also is
important with intentionaldating. And dating with
intention is also setting yourintention, what you just did,
right, identifying the thingsthat you're looking for in
(08:16):
another person, right, but alsochecking your environment and
surroundings as it pertains toyour expectations of these
people. Right? So you want a manwho is strong, right?
Independent, self motivated allof these things, which are
amazing. And you haven't foundthem? Could it be because of the
(08:37):
environments that you're inwhere these people are not?
Right? So I think oftentimes, welook at what isn't around, and
not necessarily where we are.
Right, right. So if I wantsomebody that is self starter, a
(08:57):
go getter, he probably ain'tgonna be on with six on a
Saturday. He may be though,because sometimes they don't go
out on a Saturday. So not you.
I'm just saying that for no shotto Bedford. I'm just saying,
like being mindful of where youare, that goes also with
intentionally dating or datingwith intention. So it's not just
(09:18):
this big thing of affirmation,or manifesting or affirming,
right? I'm standing in the dark,but I want light. So it's light
all around me. There's light,it's still dark. You got to
move. Right. So just thinkingabout what is it that I'm asking
for? And where am I so I have aresponsibility to affirm myself
(09:41):
to manifest to ask for thesegood things. But I also have a
responsibility to check myposition. Right. So I think that
that's another thing that I hadto identify in my quest for
intentional dating to was notjust lack, but where am I
Searching for things that Iwant.
Morgan Adrine (10:02):
And that's real, because I mean, ideally, if I
want, like, I'm not gonna findthe guy that I want in Medusa,
sure enough, like, I'm notlooking for him and, but, but I
feel like I also need to addsome context because you know,
growing up one thing that my momand my grandmother always told
me, so told me to this day, isthat you should always and this
goes for men too, you shouldalways be with someone who is
(10:25):
doing just as good, if notbetter than you, that can be in
any in any sense. So don't getme wrong, I've met a lot of
quality guys, like, I'm not justmeeting bumps off the fence,
like, I've met a lot. That outthere, I've met a lot of quality
guys, yes, but their qualitydoesn't. And let me not say
(10:46):
that. But it's not what I need.
At this point in my life. Like,again, they have quality,
they're doing awesome thingswith where they are, but it's
not what I need. Meaning again,I I believe that I am a force
like I, I have done a lot. Andagain, I expect somebody to have
the same drive as me. And thesame motivation as me,
(11:07):
especially if we talk about likebeing being in a relationship,
whether it's a friendship,platonic, whatever, romantic,
it's a partnership to a certainextent. So you should have
someone that you're in thispartnership with to compliment
you in some type of way. If I'msuch a strong personality, if I
know that I can do XY and Z, Ifeel like I shouldn't have to
(11:32):
accept somebody that can't matchwhat I'm bringing to the table.
So again, I want to say I've metsome quality guys, however, it's
not what I need, or what I'mlooking for.
Sydnei Sellers (11:46):
And I think it should be more of a acceptance
around that being okay. Right?
So,
Morgan Adrine (11:55):
but then you get the idea of like, because my mom
has said it before, like youobviously you have to give and
take, nobody's gonna be perfect,right? I feel like the five
qualities that I stated, Ishouldn't have to give and take
on though. Like, I feel like Ishould not have to. So it's
like, but then to talk tosomeone who's older than me. And
they say, well give and take,she's not talking about giving
(12:16):
and taking physicalcharacteristics she's talking
about, well, you know, maybehe's not as motivated as you
are, if you're not as motivatedas me, I feel like you're just
gonna hold me back with thethings that I'm trying to do. So
again, I asked, like, what do Igive and take on?
Sydnei Sellers (12:29):
So to be completely honest, I really feel
like you shouldn't give when youshouldn't feel like you have to
surrender your non negotiables.
Right. So I have things that arenot negotiable for me. Right.
And I think also, it's this ideain society that there's a
hourglass time line time tickingbomb, when you should be
(12:53):
married, when your husbandshould come when you should have
kids, when you should do all ofthese things. And I think that
that's something that alsochases us as women, right. So me
in my journey, I literally notonly date with intention, but
live life with intention, right.
(13:14):
So it's not necessarily like Idon't ask myself, When is he
coming? I literally choose tolive a day at a time where my
heart position and the way thatif he comes he comes if he
doesn't, and then to with allthe people that you meet? It's
just a No, and it's okay. Thatyou not him. It's okay. Right?
You may be him for somebodyelse, right? It's not, it's not
(13:36):
for me, and they should be Ithink more accepted. Your nos
should be more accepted. Right?
And I think that that's thething, guys and women, right?
Because there's not to suggestthat the woman has all the
cards, and she's the only onethat can say no, because men
have the right time. Like, Sis,you ain't all lay. It's okay.
You're like, and I mean, evenwith me, right? Because I mean,
(13:59):
you think we were raised tothink so highly of ourselves,
right? But sometimes, if wethinking about purpose, this
person could be a good person,but you don't help me fulfill my
purpose. If I'm thinkingintentional, right? If I'm
thinking about my life view,
Morgan Adrine (14:14):
and that's how I feel like, in today's society,
and this goes for men, too, if aguy, like if a guy was to turn
you down, you will be offended.
Like, why, like, what's wrongwith you? Like, do you do you
see me like, what's wrong withyou? And then for a guy to force
me to turn a guy down? Oh, well,you got a boyfriend? No. Well,
(14:35):
why you don't want to talk tome? Because I don't want to talk
to well, why not? Like, you knowwhat I mean? It's this level of
anger that entitlement Yeah,it's a level of entitlement that
comes when you tell somebodylike they're not for you and
they're not your person. And Idon't know if that's because of
the role social media playswhere everyone is so focused on
(14:56):
the outside, characteristics,they we really aren't having
conversations about anything. Wearen't talking about anything.
We're talking about, oh, who didwhat? When she got on board?
Well, he just posted oh whereyou about to pull up to Saturday
night, like, we're not havingany conversations of substance.
But I feel like, again, peopleget so offended when you say
(15:21):
that they're just not it for youthat I also feel like there's
not much substance out there. Sowhen a guy comes to you, and
he's so used to females doingwhatever treating him like he's
the prize, and then all of asudden, you tell him, nah, I'm
not interested. It's like, Well,again, like, what's, what's
wrong with you?
Sydnei Sellers (15:44):
So, you know, one thing that I do or normally
do in that vein, right? I thinka lot of those emotions are
centered around an expectationthat they should receive the no
a certain type of way, right? Sowith me, my no is no and that's.
(16:06):
Like, I don't, I don't even andthis may sound kind of harsh,
right? I don't even think abouthow they would feel more about
the No, right, because
Morgan Adrine (16:17):
as I'm gonna tell you, I'm telling you it however
you feel about it, but really
Sydnei Sellers (16:22):
is more so I'm being intentional and authentic
to who I am. And this does notwork. So it starts to play with
your own self esteem, your ownself worth, when you start to
think, Well, why did he feelthis way? After I had this
expression of how I felt, right?
I don't even linger too long.
Like this is my decision. It's ano. And we move on, all right,
(16:45):
because you just don't want to,you don't want to let it get you
don't want to let it get get gettoo sticky. in those regards,
you know, not to get too sticky.
Morgan Adrine (16:53):
So see, wrap it up for me, because I don't have
no hope. I say this to myfriends all the time. Like,
again, I know, I know, myhusband is out there, but I'm
ready to just like, don't gethid in the closet for a little
bit. Because this is ghetto. AndI'm getting very discouraged.
(17:14):
You know, it's almost likeangering like patients isn't a
virtue that I have. So it'salmost like angering that I feel
like I'm wasting my time.
Because at the same time, Idon't want to close people off
because you never know who isyour person, right? So you don't
want to close people off andjust instantly like you want to
give somebody a chance so youcould get to know Him it might
be a great friendship, a greatbusiness partnership, whatever,
(17:34):
but at the same time, I'm tiredof wasting my time
Sydnei Sellers (17:39):
yet so. I definitely second that all of
that right. So one thing are thethings that I do this is all for
all the young girls out there,okay, because it is good. Okay,
there's kind of cool, brocontaminating but focusing on
intentional dating, focusing onan intentional you, right? So
(18:00):
focusing on the things that youwant, right making sure or
taking inventory of theenvironment in the spaces that
you're dwelling in if they arehelpful or beneficial to
genuinely the things that youdesire in your heart and not
putting too much emphasis on.
This has to happen by a certaintime and late living a day at a
time. Like in everything likesoup paths dating, just being
(18:24):
intentional with the way thatyou live your life and however
it's supposed to happen. Itshall be
Morgan Adrine (18:34):
PS ladies be fulfilled within yourself before
you look for that externalfulfillment facts
So I said this a letter to myhome girls. So Sydnei, how you
feeling? Were you at on spicymeter to spice it up a little
(01:03):
bit?
Sydnei Sellers (01:04):
I'm still going to let my banana pepper Yep. I'm
Adam. banana pepper. What aboutyou?
Morgan Adrine (01:15):
Dats dead might as well be a bell. Um, I'm still
a Thai Thai pepper. Okay, spicy.
Too spicy, but little spicy.
Okay, make sure you catch yourbreath. Um, so I'm going to talk
about intentional dating.
Because this is something thathas come up a lot, it comes up a
lot my friend groups. Um, Ifirst want to start off by
(01:37):
asking I know the definition,but for those who may not, what
does intentional dating mean andlook like?
Sydnei Sellers (01:47):
That's a loaded question.
Morgan Adrine (01:48):
The spark note version,
Sydnei Sellers (01:51):
the spark note version. Okay. So for me, and as
it pertains to my life and whereI am. Intentional dating, I
think is first identifying whoyou are, why you're here.
Second, identifying individualpurpose, and then what it looks
(02:14):
like for another person to jointhat purpose. Outside of like,
your own desires, right, right.
So really just taking yourselfoutside of like, what it is that
I want, for me in my mission oflife, but really taking a look
at what you feel like God hascreated you for and how to
(02:35):
fulfill that mission withsomeone else.
Morgan Adrine (02:39):
Okay, so now that we know what international
dating is, how like,realistically do you feel like
in today's society, we canintentionally date because me
personally, I feel as if yousaid this earlier, the dating
pool is contaminated by urine,some other things, but we'll
just say urine. So we're notgetting a whole it's a whole
(03:03):
bunch of quantity, and noquality. Like I'm seeing liquid,
but nothing is chlorinatedwater. So it makes it real hard
to be intentional, when thepeople that are in this pool
don't have any substance or lackof their of.
Sydnei Sellers (03:26):
Yes, so I can definitely second that. And
oftentimes we'll I mean, in myown experience. It's really
about positioning for me whenintentional dating, right. So I
believe in God. Right? Right.
Jesus is the thing. Like he'sthe head of my life, like, give
testimony right now, right. Butaside from that, I also believe
(03:49):
that every part of my life ispurposed. Okay, so I do think
that the world is definitelycontaminated. There's absolutely
pee inside of the pool.
Morgan Adrine (04:02):
Right? But where are some other things, a lot of
Sydnei Sellers (04:05):
other miscellaneous items. But one of
the things or what keeps mehopeful, I would say right with
all of this contamination, isthe fact that I believe that God
has an intention for me in mylife, that supersedes what I
understand today. Okay, and Iuse that and operate in that
(04:27):
light in that lane with date andalso so it's very easy for me to
pick up on vibes right realcommon term, if it's a vibe,
it's not vibe and we not vibingthat's not a vibe, right? Real
quick, right? Because I haveintentions for myself. I also
know what I feel like God hascreated me for so I look for
those things in other people soI don't waste a whole lot of
Morgan Adrine (04:50):
Right at all. I feel like me being 24 and being
time.
out about a year and a half nowbeing out a really A ship that
no longer served me and mypurpose, I completely agree with
you. Like, I know that I have apurpose, I know that I have a
plan. I know that God's plansupersedes my own plan. However,
(05:12):
it's hard to stay hopeful. Whenthe people of my generation
don't, they don't like theydon't make me, they don't give
me a sense of hope, I shouldsay, like the guys in my age
bracket, let's say 23 to 31.
Again, because I swear I canbase my dating knowledge. Um,
(05:33):
they are least the ones thatI've experienced, they don't
like do it for me. And when Isay like, what I look for when
I'm because I'm in a phase ofintentional dating, because I
don't have energy or time towaste when someone who I feel
like can I hope serve mypurpose. So the five things out
for like, I look forconsistency, vulnerability. I'm
(05:55):
bad, because this
Sydnei Sellers (06:03):
is like the load consistency,
Morgan Adrine (06:05):
vulnerability, security, transparency, and I
look for somebody that canmotivate me. So I feel like the
first four are kind oftransparent consistency. You can
say that you like me, but areyou being consistent in your
actions? Are you showing up inthe ways I need you to show up
for me? Is the energy consistenttransparency? Are you being
transparent? vulnerability? Doyou know how to effectively
(06:28):
communicate your emotions? Doyou have that emotional
intelligence about yourself? Areyou being vulnerable? Security
that are so just relates to Ifeel like security is kind of
twofold. First part, do you havei dunno? Like, do you just make
me feel protected? Do you havethat energy that when we go out
or when we go places, I feelprotected? Like I feel like I
(06:51):
can lessen my alpha personality?
Because I know that you're gonnastand up for me and you
together? I don't have to be theforce you can. And then the
second part is Do you provide mewith the security in our
relationship? Like, do you makeme feel secure as a woman
knowing that this is essentiallywhat you want, but then I felt
like motivation is a big part,I've done a lot, I plan on still
(07:13):
accomplishing a lot. I'm in theworks to do a lot. So I am very
self motivated person. But I'llalso look for the people around
me to motivate me as well. Doyou motivate me by what you're
doing? By what I see that you'reaccomplishing by our use? Like
trying to better yourself?
(07:35):
Whatever way that looks likespiritually, emotionally,
financially? Are you doingsomething that makes me want to
be a better person? And, again,I'm not saying everybody is like
this, but the reason why I'mstill single today is because
what's the reason why I have notfound all of those five factors?
Sydnei Sellers (07:55):
So okay, so you know, I just stated that I'm
very intentional person, right?
Believe that God, you know, hesovereign over everything,
right. One of the importantthings I think, also is
important with intentionaldating. And dating with
intention is also setting yourintention, what you just did,
right, identifying the thingsthat you're looking for in
(08:16):
another person, right, but alsochecking your environment and
surroundings as it pertains toyour expectations of these
people. Right? So you want a manwho is strong, right?
Independent, self motivated allof these things, which are
amazing. And you haven't foundthem? Could it be because of the
(08:37):
environments that you're inwhere these people are not?
Right? So I think oftentimes, welook at what isn't around, and
not necessarily where we are.
Right, right. So if I wantsomebody that is self starter, a
(08:57):
go getter, he probably ain'tgonna be on with six on a
Saturday. He may be though,because sometimes they don't go
out on a Saturday. So not you.
I'm just saying that for no shotto Bedford. I'm just saying,
like being mindful of where youare, that goes also with
intentionally dating or datingwith intention. So it's not just
(09:18):
this big thing of affirmation,or manifesting or affirming,
right? I'm standing in the dark,but I want light. So it's light
all around me. There's light,it's still dark. You got to
move. Right. So just thinkingabout what is it that I'm asking
for? And where am I so I have aresponsibility to affirm myself
(09:41):
to manifest to ask for thesegood things. But I also have a
responsibility to check myposition. Right. So I think that
that's another thing that I hadto identify in my quest for
intentional dating to was notjust lack, but where am I
Searching for things that Iwant.
Morgan Adrine (10:02):
And that's real, because I mean, ideally, if I
want, like, I'm not gonna findthe guy that I want in Medusa,
sure enough, like, I'm notlooking for him and, but, but I
feel like I also need to addsome context because you know,
growing up one thing that my momand my grandmother always told
me, so told me to this day, isthat you should always and this
goes for men too, you shouldalways be with someone who is
(10:25):
doing just as good, if notbetter than you, that can be in
any in any sense. So don't getme wrong, I've met a lot of
quality guys, like, I'm not justmeeting bumps off the fence,
like, I've met a lot. That outthere, I've met a lot of quality
guys, yes, but their qualitydoesn't. And let me not say
(10:46):
that. But it's not what I need.
At this point in my life. Like,again, they have quality,
they're doing awesome thingswith where they are, but it's
not what I need. Meaning again,I I believe that I am a force
like I, I have done a lot. Andagain, I expect somebody to have
the same drive as me. And thesame motivation as me,
(11:07):
especially if we talk about likebeing being in a relationship,
whether it's a friendship,platonic, whatever, romantic,
it's a partnership to a certainextent. So you should have
someone that you're in thispartnership with to compliment
you in some type of way. If I'msuch a strong personality, if I
know that I can do XY and Z, Ifeel like I shouldn't have to
(11:32):
accept somebody that can't matchwhat I'm bringing to the table.
So again, I want to say I've metsome quality guys, however, it's
not what I need, or what I'mlooking for.
Sydnei Sellers (11:46):
And I think it should be more of a acceptance
around that being okay. Right?
So,
Morgan Adrine (11:55):
but then you get the idea of like, because my mom
has said it before, like youobviously you have to give and
take, nobody's gonna be perfect,right? I feel like the five
qualities that I stated, Ishouldn't have to give and take
on though. Like, I feel like Ishould not have to. So it's
like, but then to talk tosomeone who's older than me. And
they say, well give and take,she's not talking about giving
(12:16):
and taking physicalcharacteristics she's talking
about, well, you know, maybehe's not as motivated as you
are, if you're not as motivatedas me, I feel like you're just
gonna hold me back with thethings that I'm trying to do. So
again, I asked, like, what do Igive and take on?
Sydnei Sellers (12:29):
So to be completely honest, I really feel
like you shouldn't give when youshouldn't feel like you have to
surrender your non negotiables.
Right. So I have things that arenot negotiable for me. Right.
And I think also, it's this ideain society that there's a
hourglass time line time tickingbomb, when you should be
(12:53):
married, when your husbandshould come when you should have
kids, when you should do all ofthese things. And I think that
that's something that alsochases us as women, right. So me
in my journey, I literally notonly date with intention, but
live life with intention, right.
(13:14):
So it's not necessarily like Idon't ask myself, When is he
coming? I literally choose tolive a day at a time where my
heart position and the way thatif he comes he comes if he
doesn't, and then to with allthe people that you meet? It's
just a No, and it's okay. Thatyou not him. It's okay. Right?
You may be him for somebodyelse, right? It's not, it's not
(13:36):
for me, and they should be Ithink more accepted. Your nos
should be more accepted. Right?
And I think that that's thething, guys and women, right?
Because there's not to suggestthat the woman has all the
cards, and she's the only onethat can say no, because men
have the right time. Like, Sis,you ain't all lay. It's okay.
You're like, and I mean, evenwith me, right? Because I mean,
(13:59):
you think we were raised tothink so highly of ourselves,
right? But sometimes, if wethinking about purpose, this
person could be a good person,but you don't help me fulfill my
purpose. If I'm thinkingintentional, right? If I'm
thinking about my life view,
Morgan Adrine (14:14):
and that's how I feel like, in today's society,
and this goes for men, too, if aguy, like if a guy was to turn
you down, you will be offended.
Like, why, like, what's wrongwith you? Like, do you do you
see me like, what's wrong withyou? And then for a guy to force
me to turn a guy down? Oh, well,you got a boyfriend? No. Well,
(14:35):
why you don't want to talk tome? Because I don't want to talk
to well, why not? Like, you knowwhat I mean? It's this level of
anger that entitlement Yeah,it's a level of entitlement that
comes when you tell somebodylike they're not for you and
they're not your person. And Idon't know if that's because of
the role social media playswhere everyone is so focused on
(14:56):
the outside, characteristics,they we really aren't having
conversations about anything. Wearen't talking about anything.
We're talking about, oh, who didwhat? When she got on board?
Well, he just posted oh whereyou about to pull up to Saturday
night, like, we're not havingany conversations of substance.
But I feel like, again, peopleget so offended when you say
(15:21):
that they're just not it for youthat I also feel like there's
not much substance out there. Sowhen a guy comes to you, and
he's so used to females doingwhatever treating him like he's
the prize, and then all of asudden, you tell him, nah, I'm
not interested. It's like, Well,again, like, what's, what's
wrong with you?
Sydnei Sellers (15:44):
So, you know, one thing that I do or normally
do in that vein, right? I thinka lot of those emotions are
centered around an expectationthat they should receive the no
a certain type of way, right? Sowith me, my no is no and that's.
(16:06):
Like, I don't, I don't even andthis may sound kind of harsh,
right? I don't even think abouthow they would feel more about
the No, right, because
Morgan Adrine (16:17):
as I'm gonna tell you, I'm telling you it however
you feel about it, but really
Sydnei Sellers (16:22):
is more so I'm being intentional and authentic
to who I am. And this does notwork. So it starts to play with
your own self esteem, your ownself worth, when you start to
think, Well, why did he feelthis way? After I had this
expression of how I felt, right?
I don't even linger too long.
Like this is my decision. It's ano. And we move on, all right,
(16:45):
because you just don't want to,you don't want to let it get you
don't want to let it get get gettoo sticky. in those regards,
you know, not to get too sticky.
Morgan Adrine (16:53):
So see, wrap it up for me, because I don't have
no hope. I say this to myfriends all the time. Like,
again, I know, I know, myhusband is out there, but I'm
ready to just like, don't gethid in the closet for a little
bit. Because this is ghetto. AndI'm getting very discouraged.
(17:14):
You know, it's almost likeangering like patients isn't a
virtue that I have. So it'salmost like angering that I feel
like I'm wasting my time.
Because at the same time, Idon't want to close people off
because you never know who isyour person, right? So you don't
want to close people off andjust instantly like you want to
give somebody a chance so youcould get to know Him it might
be a great friendship, a greatbusiness partnership, whatever,
(17:34):
but at the same time, I'm tiredof wasting my time
Sydnei Sellers (17:39):
yet so. I definitely second that all of
that right. So one thing are thethings that I do this is all for
all the young girls out there,okay, because it is good. Okay,
there's kind of cool, brocontaminating but focusing on
intentional dating, focusing onan intentional you, right? So
(18:00):
focusing on the things that youwant, right making sure or
taking inventory of theenvironment in the spaces that
you're dwelling in if they arehelpful or beneficial to
genuinely the things that youdesire in your heart and not
putting too much emphasis on.
This has to happen by a certaintime and late living a day at a
time. Like in everything likesoup paths dating, just being
(18:24):
intentional with the way thatyou live your life and however
it's supposed to happen. Itshall be
Morgan Adrine (18:34):
PS ladies be fulfilled within yourself before
you look for that externalfulfillment facts
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!