June 12, 2023 • 13 mins
Join Morgan and Sydnei and their special guest, Dylan, for a sizzling episode of 'A Letter to My Homegirls. These three dynamic voices bring wit, wisdom, and optimism to the table. With candid conversations on God's plans, personal growth, and the pursuit of love, you'll discover the perfect balance between seeking and patience. So grab your headphones and get ready to be inspired as they drop the mic on singlehood, relationships, and the power of seeking God's guidance.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Morgan Adrine (00:00):
So I said, learn how to be content and you're
(00:03):
single season. So we have aspecial guests and I want to ask
you, how are you feeling spicymeter check.
Dylan Sellers (00:13):
I think I'm real Bill pepper out here. super
chill. I'm really glad that youhave allowed me to come into
your space. Yes, honored.
Morgan Adrine (00:23):
Thank you Dylan say Hi.
Sydnei Sellers (00:25):
Um, I'm a jalapeno,
Morgan Adrine (00:28):
jalapeno. Okay, so I'm still gonna hold strong
at a Thai, Thai pepper. Wow.
Type pepper. Because this isactually something that kind of
hit my spirit a couple days ago.
And I went to this event, it'slike a youth ministry group
(00:49):
called elevate. And one of thethings that they were touching
on was as it relates to kind ofbeing content in your, again, in
your single season before youcan expect to find your person.
And that really hit home for mebecause, you know, so often, I
think, especially we as women,we long for, you know,
(01:14):
relationship, we long for apartner, we long for like that
happy ending that we often don'tjust find comfort in what's
today. And unfortunately, well,I'm not gonna say unfortunately,
today, that ain't. That ain'twhat it is. Um, and again, it's
something that I've struggledwith, because it's like, I don't
(01:36):
want to become so consumed thatI think about a relationship,
but at the same time, I neverwant it to lose importance to
me, either. So I would ask youas big homie, how, I guess how
do you find comfort in your yoursolitude? Just being alone?
(02:00):
Like, how do you find comfort?
How do you find peace? And
Sydnei Sellers (02:04):
well, ain't easy. Yes, is a good one Morg.
It's not the easiest thing. Ithink society, especially social
media has a way of making eventhe hardest thing seems so easy,
right? Because you see all thecandles and spas and girls
(02:26):
drinking. You know, it's just solovely to be single. Right? You
know, it's definitely difficult,especially around holidays. But
one of the things that I haveheld strong to is my optimism.
Okay, so I'm content in mysingleness, because I know what
(02:51):
it is that I want. But I'm stillhopeful, because I believe that
God is still going to provide mewhat I need. Right? So I don't
lose like the optimism offinding that happy ending,
right. So when I do find myselfgetting sad about like, even
(03:11):
like the little nuances of like,the day, we think about family
and all the stuff that you wantto do with a partner, I try to
remind myself that like, It'sokay and that God is coming, you
know, and then to To be honest,I also swallowed the fact that
that's the one thing that Godnever promised any of this was a
(03:36):
mate, like a person like that weeverybody will get a husband or
a wife that was never promised.
That was never promised. Thatwas something that
Morgan Adrine (03:46):
that was never promised.
Dylan Sellers (03:48):
That's not a scripture as a promise. No.
Okay, that's interesting.
Sydnei Sellers (03:51):
So no, no. And with that realization for me, I
think, when I accepted that, Iwas sad at first. But then I
started to get not happy butfeel lighter, right? Because
then I recognize that when hesays that he'll supply all my
(04:12):
needs, and I have everythingthat I need, I started to really
feel like I wasn't missing outon much, you know what I'm
saying? So it transitioned fromme being the single person
waiting and preparing forsomebody, to me being the single
person. That's whole that haseverything she needs, in case
(04:32):
that never happens, right?
Because I also think about, youknow, unfortunate circumstances,
you know, I've experienced a lotof grief. So, even with the idea
of like, God never promising usthat life happens, right? I can
think of, like, on both of myhands, how many people didn't
even get to meet kids or aspouse? You know, I'm saying
(04:52):
just because of tragedies thatstruck in, you know, families at
home so I think my mindset ismore focused on like day to day
living, and that's what keeps melike sane, like, literally,
today, how am I feeling? Andoptimistic that tomorrow could
be different?
Morgan Adrine (05:10):
So Dylan, I have a separate question for you. And
obviously, you're married. Soyour perspective is different.
But I guess, is it okay to stillbe dating? If you so let's say,
Okay, I'm fully accepting of mysingle season. I'm loving it.
I'm embracing it. I'm a residentsingle. Can I? Is it still
(05:32):
acceptable to be dating? Or doesthat kind of defeat the purpose
of me being content in my singleseason and let it just flow
naturally?
Dylan Sellers (05:42):
I think it may. I think it depends heavily on what
you mean by single season.
Morgan Adrine (05:47):
Meaning, my single season is not just about
me not dating, but I've liketruly, I'm not texting anybody.
I'm not sitting on the phonetalking to nobody. No, I'm not
coming to see, you know, youcan't come see me like, I'm just
I am in complete solitude. Yeah.
That's what I mean, when I saysingle season.
Dylan Sellers (06:08):
Do you desire not to be married?
Morgan Adrine (06:11):
desire not to be not wanting to be married? You
want to be married? Yes.
Dylan Sellers (06:14):
Okay. So you're not in a space where like,
you're single and satisfied toborrow a term from from my
pastor. It's, you're single andseeking. Right? And so like,
you're really looking for amate. And so to suggest that,
like, I shouldn't talk toanybody right now. You'll never
(06:38):
find a mate. You didn't know.
Morgan Adrine (06:40):
This is, like questions I had, but then I've
had somebody flat out told me,you know, you haven't fully
embraced what it is to be singlebecause you're seeking that you
need it to be single. What'sthis? Is this a good name?
Dylan Sellers (06:56):
Is this a God thing? Right, like the gods say,
I need you to be by yourself.
And it's just you with me rightnow. And like, don't talk to
nobody, or is this somethingthat you fell into? Because you
were single?
Morgan Adrine (07:07):
No, like, God didn't tell me that. Okay, so
what are we talking about? Likesomeone like a person like,
right, so that person told methat? Yeah,
Dylan Sellers (07:15):
like, cool, right? Like, but at the same
time, they not God Right, right.
So like, you're dictating yourlife, like, you can take advice
from someone who's your elder,right? Like you're giving them
some some honor, right? In thatregard. But like, if God didn't
tell you that, like, you can'ttalk to nobody then talk. You
know what I'm saying? I'm, I'msorry, not to make it. So. I
(07:39):
guess simple. You know what I'msaying? Like, but it's, it's
really not that deep. You gottamean like, God does intend for
us. And I think I want tocorrect a little bit. God
doesn't promise us that you'regonna have a mate. Right? But it
is the, it is the design ofhuman that we would write.
Right? It is because of the fallof man, that it's not a promise,
(08:02):
right? Because things happen,like tragedy strikes, those
things weren't intended when itcame to the garden. You know,
what I'm saying? It's like, thedesire that you have in you is a
God placed desire. And, I mean,you should be seeking and it's,
it's okay for you to go ondates, like you're young. I
mean, like, you're young, you'reseeking, as long as you're not
(08:25):
doing anything, to compromiseyourself, as you are going on
these dates and being introducedto people and things like that,
like, that's fine.
Morgan Adrine (08:35):
I guess I just never want to become so for lack
of a better word obsessed withthe idea of dating and trying to
find my person that I feel likeI'm not appreciating the space
that I'm currently in.
Dylan Sellers (08:48):
Well, I think that like, that's important,
too, right? So like to suggestthat like, don't, don't swing
one way or the other.
Morgan Adrine (08:58):
And it's hard because it's like, either go all
the way to the left or to
Dylan Sellers (09:01):
the middle, either, either she built pepper,
she tired. Trying to figure itout. But no, I think that like,
it's important because I wantedto introduce this that like,
being alone is necessary forbeing married as well. Right?
(09:22):
Like you need to be comfortablewith you, right? And being able
to like, Take yourself on a dateor know what you like you don't
I'm saying like really be ableto, like, spend time with just
you and be okay, and you'll skinso like that that skill that
you're learning that that you'vebeen articulating that you're
learning will be helpful,whether you're single or not.
(09:42):
Right. And the question of like,When am I done with that season
is a question for you and God?
Right, right. And don't letanybody pressuring you into
anything either way. Right? Ithink they're like, I'm just
sitting over here listening toyour conversation. And the
consistent message is, what isyour relationship like with God?
(10:03):
That's the consistent responseto every question, right? What
is your relationship like withGod? Because God is going to
dictate that now, will he usepeople sometimes? Yes. But
sometimes like it's a, it'sanother thing. You don't I mean,
if you're listening to what Godis saying, in the moment, you'll
be fine.
Morgan Adrine (10:25):
So realistically on like a, like, on a day to
day, how do I find that balancebetween not being in complete
solitude and not being? How doyou start? How do I start my
day? Yeah, I want to wake up.
Yeah, yeah. Brush my teeth.
Dylan Sellers (10:44):
Right. So I think what I'm getting after, like,
what you do with the beginningof your day tends to dictate it.
Right? And so if you're gettingup spending some time with God,
or at least focusing on some godkind of things, whether that
being reading scripture,praying, you know, I mean, that
kind of thing, if you're notgetting up immediately going to
(11:07):
your phone or seeking, right,because like, a lot of what
we're doing on our phone isseeking, there's seeking
validation seeking to get rid ofboredom, you know what I mean?
Like, there's, there's a lot oflike, seeking, right? And so
like, the question is, when Iwake up, am I seeking what God
wants or what I want first. Andthat's how you'll start to
(11:27):
strike the balance because themore you consistently seek God,
right, he will direct whatyou're seeking throughout the
day.
Sydnei Sellers (11:34):
That's good.
That is, that's good. And thenthat'll probably also help with
the balance that you crave withdating. Right? Because once you
seek God's face and his wisdom,then the people that come and
your path will be sent or itwon't be by mistake, and you'll
be sure of that because you havealready you know, reached out or
(11:56):
seeked him first and at thestart of the day.
Morgan Adrine (12:03):
So will be a final note to the homegirls.
Sydnei Sellers (12:07):
I know, note to the home girls would be seek and
have patience.
Morgan Adrine (12:17):
That's good.
Well, we dropped the mic.
So I said, learn how to be content and you're
(00:03):
single season. So we have aspecial guests and I want to ask
you, how are you feeling spicymeter check.
Dylan Sellers (00:13):
I think I'm real Bill pepper out here. super
chill. I'm really glad that youhave allowed me to come into
your space. Yes, honored.
Morgan Adrine (00:23):
Thank you Dylan say Hi.
Sydnei Sellers (00:25):
Um, I'm a jalapeno,
Morgan Adrine (00:28):
jalapeno. Okay, so I'm still gonna hold strong
at a Thai, Thai pepper. Wow.
Type pepper. Because this isactually something that kind of
hit my spirit a couple days ago.
And I went to this event, it'slike a youth ministry group
(00:49):
called elevate. And one of thethings that they were touching
on was as it relates to kind ofbeing content in your, again, in
your single season before youcan expect to find your person.
And that really hit home for mebecause, you know, so often, I
think, especially we as women,we long for, you know,
(01:14):
relationship, we long for apartner, we long for like that
happy ending that we often don'tjust find comfort in what's
today. And unfortunately, well,I'm not gonna say unfortunately,
today, that ain't. That ain'twhat it is. Um, and again, it's
something that I've struggledwith, because it's like, I don't
(01:36):
want to become so consumed thatI think about a relationship,
but at the same time, I neverwant it to lose importance to
me, either. So I would ask youas big homie, how, I guess how
do you find comfort in your yoursolitude? Just being alone?
(02:00):
Like, how do you find comfort?
How do you find peace? And
Sydnei Sellers (02:04):
well, ain't easy. Yes, is a good one Morg.
It's not the easiest thing. Ithink society, especially social
media has a way of making eventhe hardest thing seems so easy,
right? Because you see all thecandles and spas and girls
(02:26):
drinking. You know, it's just solovely to be single. Right? You
know, it's definitely difficult,especially around holidays. But
one of the things that I haveheld strong to is my optimism.
Okay, so I'm content in mysingleness, because I know what
(02:51):
it is that I want. But I'm stillhopeful, because I believe that
God is still going to provide mewhat I need. Right? So I don't
lose like the optimism offinding that happy ending,
right. So when I do find myselfgetting sad about like, even
(03:11):
like the little nuances of like,the day, we think about family
and all the stuff that you wantto do with a partner, I try to
remind myself that like, It'sokay and that God is coming, you
know, and then to To be honest,I also swallowed the fact that
that's the one thing that Godnever promised any of this was a
(03:36):
mate, like a person like that weeverybody will get a husband or
a wife that was never promised.
That was never promised. Thatwas something that
Morgan Adrine (03:46):
that was never promised.
Dylan Sellers (03:48):
That's not a scripture as a promise. No.
Okay, that's interesting.
Sydnei Sellers (03:51):
So no, no. And with that realization for me, I
think, when I accepted that, Iwas sad at first. But then I
started to get not happy butfeel lighter, right? Because
then I recognize that when hesays that he'll supply all my
(04:12):
needs, and I have everythingthat I need, I started to really
feel like I wasn't missing outon much, you know what I'm
saying? So it transitioned fromme being the single person
waiting and preparing forsomebody, to me being the single
person. That's whole that haseverything she needs, in case
(04:32):
that never happens, right?
Because I also think about, youknow, unfortunate circumstances,
you know, I've experienced a lotof grief. So, even with the idea
of like, God never promising usthat life happens, right? I can
think of, like, on both of myhands, how many people didn't
even get to meet kids or aspouse? You know, I'm saying
(04:52):
just because of tragedies thatstruck in, you know, families at
home so I think my mindset ismore focused on like day to day
living, and that's what keeps melike sane, like, literally,
today, how am I feeling? Andoptimistic that tomorrow could
be different?
Morgan Adrine (05:10):
So Dylan, I have a separate question for you. And
obviously, you're married. Soyour perspective is different.
But I guess, is it okay to stillbe dating? If you so let's say,
Okay, I'm fully accepting of mysingle season. I'm loving it.
I'm embracing it. I'm a residentsingle. Can I? Is it still
(05:32):
acceptable to be dating? Or doesthat kind of defeat the purpose
of me being content in my singleseason and let it just flow
naturally?
Dylan Sellers (05:42):
I think it may. I think it depends heavily on what
you mean by single season.
Morgan Adrine (05:47):
Meaning, my single season is not just about
me not dating, but I've liketruly, I'm not texting anybody.
I'm not sitting on the phonetalking to nobody. No, I'm not
coming to see, you know, youcan't come see me like, I'm just
I am in complete solitude. Yeah.
That's what I mean, when I saysingle season.
Dylan Sellers (06:08):
Do you desire not to be married?
Morgan Adrine (06:11):
desire not to be not wanting to be married? You
want to be married? Yes.
Dylan Sellers (06:14):
Okay. So you're not in a space where like,
you're single and satisfied toborrow a term from from my
pastor. It's, you're single andseeking. Right? And so like,
you're really looking for amate. And so to suggest that,
like, I shouldn't talk toanybody right now. You'll never
(06:38):
find a mate. You didn't know.
Morgan Adrine (06:40):
This is, like questions I had, but then I've
had somebody flat out told me,you know, you haven't fully
embraced what it is to be singlebecause you're seeking that you
need it to be single. What'sthis? Is this a good name?
Dylan Sellers (06:56):
Is this a God thing? Right, like the gods say,
I need you to be by yourself.
And it's just you with me rightnow. And like, don't talk to
nobody, or is this somethingthat you fell into? Because you
were single?
Morgan Adrine (07:07):
No, like, God didn't tell me that. Okay, so
what are we talking about? Likesomeone like a person like,
right, so that person told methat? Yeah,
Dylan Sellers (07:15):
like, cool, right? Like, but at the same
time, they not God Right, right.
So like, you're dictating yourlife, like, you can take advice
from someone who's your elder,right? Like you're giving them
some some honor, right? In thatregard. But like, if God didn't
tell you that, like, you can'ttalk to nobody then talk. You
know what I'm saying? I'm, I'msorry, not to make it. So. I
(07:39):
guess simple. You know what I'msaying? Like, but it's, it's
really not that deep. You gottamean like, God does intend for
us. And I think I want tocorrect a little bit. God
doesn't promise us that you'regonna have a mate. Right? But it
is the, it is the design ofhuman that we would write.
Right? It is because of the fallof man, that it's not a promise,
(08:02):
right? Because things happen,like tragedy strikes, those
things weren't intended when itcame to the garden. You know,
what I'm saying? It's like, thedesire that you have in you is a
God placed desire. And, I mean,you should be seeking and it's,
it's okay for you to go ondates, like you're young. I
mean, like, you're young, you'reseeking, as long as you're not
(08:25):
doing anything, to compromiseyourself, as you are going on
these dates and being introducedto people and things like that,
like, that's fine.
Morgan Adrine (08:35):
I guess I just never want to become so for lack
of a better word obsessed withthe idea of dating and trying to
find my person that I feel likeI'm not appreciating the space
that I'm currently in.
Dylan Sellers (08:48):
Well, I think that like, that's important,
too, right? So like to suggestthat like, don't, don't swing
one way or the other.
Morgan Adrine (08:58):
And it's hard because it's like, either go all
the way to the left or to
Dylan Sellers (09:01):
the middle, either, either she built pepper,
she tired. Trying to figure itout. But no, I think that like,
it's important because I wantedto introduce this that like,
being alone is necessary forbeing married as well. Right?
(09:22):
Like you need to be comfortablewith you, right? And being able
to like, Take yourself on a dateor know what you like you don't
I'm saying like really be ableto, like, spend time with just
you and be okay, and you'll skinso like that that skill that
you're learning that that you'vebeen articulating that you're
learning will be helpful,whether you're single or not.
(09:42):
Right. And the question of like,When am I done with that season
is a question for you and God?
Right, right. And don't letanybody pressuring you into
anything either way. Right? Ithink they're like, I'm just
sitting over here listening toyour conversation. And the
consistent message is, what isyour relationship like with God?
(10:03):
That's the consistent responseto every question, right? What
is your relationship like withGod? Because God is going to
dictate that now, will he usepeople sometimes? Yes. But
sometimes like it's a, it'sanother thing. You don't I mean,
if you're listening to what Godis saying, in the moment, you'll
be fine.
Morgan Adrine (10:25):
So realistically on like a, like, on a day to
day, how do I find that balancebetween not being in complete
solitude and not being? How doyou start? How do I start my
day? Yeah, I want to wake up.
Yeah, yeah. Brush my teeth.
Dylan Sellers (10:44):
Right. So I think what I'm getting after, like,
what you do with the beginningof your day tends to dictate it.
Right? And so if you're gettingup spending some time with God,
or at least focusing on some godkind of things, whether that
being reading scripture,praying, you know, I mean, that
kind of thing, if you're notgetting up immediately going to
(11:07):
your phone or seeking, right,because like, a lot of what
we're doing on our phone isseeking, there's seeking
validation seeking to get rid ofboredom, you know what I mean?
Like, there's, there's a lot oflike, seeking, right? And so
like, the question is, when Iwake up, am I seeking what God
wants or what I want first. Andthat's how you'll start to
(11:27):
strike the balance because themore you consistently seek God,
right, he will direct whatyou're seeking throughout the
day.
Sydnei Sellers (11:34):
That's good.
That is, that's good. And thenthat'll probably also help with
the balance that you crave withdating. Right? Because once you
seek God's face and his wisdom,then the people that come and
your path will be sent or itwon't be by mistake, and you'll
be sure of that because you havealready you know, reached out or
(11:56):
seeked him first and at thestart of the day.
Morgan Adrine (12:03):
So will be a final note to the homegirls.
Sydnei Sellers (12:07):
I know, note to the home girls would be seek and
have patience.
Morgan Adrine (12:17):
That's good.
Well, we dropped the mic.
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