Drummer Seven Antonopoulos - Healing Trauma One Song at a Time - A Life in Six Songs

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:00):
You know, there's just a lot of stuff out there
where you can, sam.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Harris fan, I mean Sam Harris is probably my
intellectual idol at this point.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Dude everybody's like yeah, Sam Harris is awesome,
he's almost too good, he'sreally good, just would like to
pause and recognize that.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
And if, sam Harris, if this gets back to you, we're
here talking about Metallica.
Everyone's like yeah, yeah,yeah.
And we said sam harris,everyone was like oh yes, so sam
harris, you are, you arerocking it.
Hey everybody, welcome to A Lifein Six Songs where, on each

(01:12):
episode, we embark on an epicjourney with our guests to find
the songs that are stuck to uslike audible tattoos, that tell
the story of who we are andwhere we've been, to help us
figure out where we're going.
It's a life story told throughsix songs.
I'm your host, david Reese, andI'm joined by my co-hosts,
carolina and Raza.

Speaker 5 (01:31):
Hey there.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
Hi, we come to these conversations with love,
kindness and curiosity tocounter the prevalence of hate,
anger and judgment in the world.
Our guiding view, with a nod toTed Lasso, is be curious, not
judgmental.
Our goal is that by listeningto these stories, you can bring
more love, kindness andcuriosity into your own life.
With that, let's go have alisten together.

(01:55):
Our guest today is SevenAntonopoulos, a self-described
white trash kid from Texas whoturned to drums as a way out.
As he described it in a veryreal way, music saved his life.
Over his professional drummingcareer, seven has toured the
world with artists as diverse asVanilla Ice, opiate for the

(02:17):
Masses and his current band,belgian Metal Giants, channel
Zero.
Seven, welcome to A Life in SixSongs.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Thank you.
That was an intro, I appreciateit, but yeah, I'd like to thank
you all just right off the bat.
Thank you so much for asking meto do this.
The premise of this podcast isjust really powerful and the
idea behind it and David, yourstory that I'm familiar with,

(02:46):
that I'm sure everyone watchingis familiar with.
It's a cool concept and I thinkit's something that's fresh and
new and hasn't been donepreviously.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Great, we appreciate that and we appreciate you
coming on and sharing your storywith us.
We're excited to get into yourstory.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Dive in the water's warm.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah, the water's warm.
The water is what it is.
Yeah, it's going to be justfine.
We are here to help you along.
And so before we actually getinto your specific six songs, we
like to just sort of get youknow kind of a warm-up question,
a little sound check, if youwill, just kind of setting the

(03:32):
stage for us.
And so you know, the questionis around the role music plays
in our life.
You as a professional musician,obviously in your professional
life music is hugely important.
But if you want to just kind oflike tell us a little bit about
the role music plays kind of inyour personal life, like, how
does music fit in your life?
What does music do for you?
How do you see music in yourpersonal life?

Speaker 1 (03:52):
That's a great question For me.
From childhood it was alwaysand that's why, you know, going
through these songs is going tobe cathartic and amazing.
Songs is going to be catharticand amazing because even today
and from you know hell I'm 50now like there have been so many
huge life experiences thatmusic was part of it, and you

(04:21):
hear those songs and they takeyou back to those different
situations.
But there's certain songs I'lllisten to.
If I'm, you know, if I have,you know if I'm having a
particularly kind of anxietyfilled day, you know what I mean
and I'm and I'm out runningaround and doing stuff.
There's certain songs that I canput on that kind of helped me,

(04:42):
you know, get out of that space,um, as well as just sometimes
just being happy and beingcontent and fulfilled in the
moment.
You know what I mean.
Like you know, cooking with mycooking, with my better half,
and the dogs are under our feetand I've got, you know, the mo,
you know Motown essentials onApple music or whatever.
Like it's, it's, it's, it is ahuge part to your point, yeah,

(05:06):
so.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
I don't want to ramble but absolutely.
Yeah, no, I think I think yousaid it well and you kind of hit
those kinds of two points inthe sense of, like, music seems
to have that ability to eithertake us away from whatever we
got going on it just kind oflightens the mood, changes the
mood and gets us out of it or itcan be that way that we can
reflect on ourselves.

(05:26):
It can help us process whatwe've got going on.
Right, you hear a certain lyricor a certain you know, yeah,
chord, progression, melody justkind of hits you and it helps
you make sense of what's whatyou got going on.
So, yeah, so thank you for uhthat and getting us set.
I'm gonna pass it over tocarolina, who's gonna get us
going with your first song.

Speaker 5 (05:45):
Yeah.
So you talked about how musiccan kind of take you out of a
negative space.
Right, help you out Feels alittle therapeutic.
So for your first song, what isthat song that, when you hear
it, instantly transports you toa specific time or place?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
This one was Lido Shuffle by Boz Skaggs, which was
one of my, my parents' favoriteartists.
Um, and I believe that this, uh, the, the period of time I'm
thinking about was from the timeI was probably, you know, two,
three years old, until I waslike five, until I went to

(06:22):
school and, you know, neverreally talked about this
publicly, but you know, my folkswere kind of unconventional, I
guess you'd say you know.
So the first five years of mylife, I mean, I was on the road.
You know, my dad wasprofessional poker player and
pool player and and we did thatand it was a lot of holiday ends

(06:44):
and you know this particularsong.
I remember being in the back ofmy dad's Cadillac, you know in
the car seat, and then I grewout of the car seat and and and
it was.
It was every time this songcame on.
I remember being like fiveyears old, four years old, just
going, wow, still a reallydifficult song to play, but that

(07:06):
kind of puts me.
When I hear that tune, itreminds me of like good times, I
guess unconventional times,meaning that that I didn't
realize that that was yeah youknow it's like it's kind of like
always on vacation, but not youknow what I?

Speaker 4 (07:18):
mean it's like we're uh yeah, doing that so let's, uh
, let's take a quick listen andthen we'll talk a little bit
more about it on the other sidenext stop one for the road, so

(07:59):
good Nice.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
It's like one of those things from the outside.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's one of those things from the outside.
It's one of those things fromthe outside, Like you said, the
drumming it's not terribly likecomplicated, like what's going
on, but just the groove of it isjust the feel.
Yes, just there.
And if it's not, if it's not on, it's going to be not good.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's really cool.
I was fortunate in the senseand this is just a little side
note but I was fortunate in thesense that my parents, for all
their conflicted issues that allpeople have but extreme, they
had great taste in music andwhether it was boss gags, you

(08:43):
know, my mom's favorite band waslike Fleetwood Mac and we were
listening to.
You know Led Zeppelin and and IBilly Joel and you know just
Elton John like all these.
You know David Bowie, I mean, Iwas.
This is the stuff that I, thatI was kind of grew up around.
So this is the stuff that I waskind of grew up around.

Speaker 5 (09:05):
Yeah, and I think we've learned to spot themes
with all of our guests and oneof the things that we've spotted
a lot are a lot of songs thatfolks remember really little in
their parents' cars, and wetalked about the difference
between now or as kids pop inyou ear pods and they're
listening to their own thing.

(09:25):
But when we were growing uplike you had to listen to
whatever your parents werelistening to and how that just
like open worlds for us just thestuff we listen to in the car
yeah, and I still love listening.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
I mean road trips and just even in my daily life.
I've always got I mean over thelast few years, of course.
Course, audible is cool andwe're listening to a lot of
books, podcasts and whatnot, butit's still the car is one of
the cooler, more interestingplaces that music can take you
somewhere, you know.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
Yeah, absolutely, when you, when you think back to
this time and you know you, you, you told us how you, how you
know an unconventional first,first few years of life, right,
staying in hotels and thingslike that when you think
traveling, now yeah, traveling.
When you think about it now,what, what, what, what feelings
come up about it like do you,you know, how do you, how do you
view that?
That young childhood of yours?

Speaker 1 (10:21):
it's.
It's kind of interestingbecause I only have my own point
of reference, you know um and Itry.
We can never do yep, and I try,I try not to compare my life to
other people's lives, or minewas better or worse or whatever
it was, and my, I have a youngerbrother, jason.
He's uh, he's two and a halfyears younger than me.
So, um, by the time I was kindof that period of time like

(10:45):
five-ish, you know, like that'swhen it was like okay, we kind
of settled down, so to speak,like we, you know, we settled,
lived, you know, and landed inDallas.
After a few other places, youknow.
But I consider myself a Texanand, um, but what, we lived

(11:07):
multiple, multiple places fromthe time I was born until I was
probably, yeah, like it's likeseven, eight years old, I mean,
I think five, six states.
So, uh, I don't know if I gointo that story about why we
were, why we moved so much, uh,but um, let's just say it was

(11:29):
interesting, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
That was kind of interesting.
You mentioned, uh, your, yourdad was a um, um, like a poker.
I could, I'm imagining like achampion.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
You guys had to tour, so it almost sounds like you
know, for for someone who's aprofessional touring musician.
Now you, you, you got exposedto that life, uh, you know city
to city, uh type thing early on.
Any comparison between that andnow.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Uh, yeah, I mean, well, not now, I mean you travel
in a different way, but butbeing on the road, um, when
you're a kid, you know I meanit's it's Denny's and holiday

(12:16):
Inns and you know a lot ofswimming pools in the summer and
you know stopping to see theHoover Dam or you know like
whatever it was.
But is it similar?
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'vealways kind of been, because we
were moved around so much when Iwas a kid.
You know law enforcement beinginvolved, like that, you know,
like give you that story atanother time, I think.

(12:40):
But but you know, living inGeorgia and North Carolina and
Florida and Colorado andOklahoma and Ohio, and you know,
like all these places before Iwas seven years old, six years
old, you know, and then finally,and then ended up landing,
quote unquote, like landing in acity that we're like, okay,

(13:02):
cool, this is home now.
You know.
Like landing in a city thatwe're like, okay, cool, this is
home now.
You know, yeah, it makes it,it's, I don't know man, it's,
it's a, it's a.
It's an interesting question,cause I'm having a hard time
kind of articulating feelingsabout it, because that's just,
that's all.
I, that's all I knew.
So, um, uh, I never had aproblem with anything else.
I always wanted to travel,though I always wanted to go,

(13:25):
and later on in my life, likeyou know, 20 years old, 21 years
old, I was in this band fromDallas called Lone Star Trio,
and it was a van and a trailerand there was three of us and
one guy that would help us driveand load gear and we did that.
I did that from like 94, 95, 96and it was as punk rock as punk

(13:48):
rock is, and it was some of thebest times of my life too.
Yeah, you know, like you heargrohl talk about that and it's
real.
It was like those hard times,yeah, make you appreciate travel
later on.
You know, because in 1999, youknow, I was in a signed band
called hellified fun crew out ofdallas.
Bob zilla from damage plan andI were in that band and I
remember him and I like gettingon the bus, our first bus

(14:12):
together, and I was like, ohdude, I'm 24 years old and I'm
fuck, you know 25.
We've made it, we're on a bus.

Speaker 5 (14:20):
You know, the bus versus the van bus, the bus
versus the van.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
We don't have to take turns driving and sleep on the
gear in the back of the van.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yeah, yeah, you're like, what does a drum tech do?
Well, you know, um.
So now, later on, and just tojust your point real quick, the
older you get and I mean I don'thave children, but um, uh, you
know, I have two dogs and, uh,two dogs and my partner that
I've been with for four and ahalf years now, but it gets

(14:50):
tougher.
I think it gets more tough theolder you get to leave home.
There's a couple songs in herewhere some of this touring stuff
I think we'll come full circleon that rather than than diving
in so much now, but there's thatone song.
There's one song where it ithas has a lot to do with the

(15:14):
commitment to touring and thecommitment to playing music and
the commitment to the band andkind of negating other things.
You know what I mean, whetherit's your marriage or your
sanity or not being a borderlinealcoholic, whatever it is, you
know what I mean, totally Forsure.

Speaker 5 (15:35):
So we'll get to those , but we'll move on to our next
song.
For now, and for your secondsong, what's a memorable time
that you remember when you werefirst exposed to like a new band
or an artist's music?

Speaker 1 (15:52):
It's interesting because it wasn't new.
It was new to me and thebackground was all the bands I
told you about.
You know 70s kind of rock andprogressive stuff and and you
know more of the classic stuff.
So let's say I think I wasprobably nine years old, we

(16:15):
lived at this apartment complexin in dallas, texas, and, uh, we
had a um, there was a familythat lived there that my mom was
friends with the mother andthey there was two kids.
There was a this, this guy,carrie, he, and he was our

(16:37):
babysitter.
So when I was like nine yearsold, you know my folks, if my
mom was out working or my dadwas on the road or whatever it
was, you know like they could,you know he would.
He was in the neighborhood, hewas a neighborhood kid, he was
in, he was in the metal and andI thought he was super fucking
cool and and I had a crush onhis younger sister, who was

(17:00):
three years older than me, Iguess, incidentally, first girl
I ever kissed down by the Creeksounds, sounds, sounds realistic
, right.
But back to the story as far asa song that that, what song was

(17:20):
played?
Who played it?
A memorable time.
So yeah, I remember Kerry'slike hey, I just got this on
vinyl, you have to see it, andwe called it a record back then.
It wasn't vinyl, it was arecord.
And he showed me the albumcover to Sabbath, bloody Sabbath
, black Sabbath, right, and Iwas like it's the most evil.
I'm like this is amazing.

(17:41):
I'm like wow, like this is cool.
And this was before I saw shoutat the devil, which I thought
was really fucking cool.
You know the pentagram and youopen it up but this was sabbath,
bloody sabbath and and he andhe played.
He played this song for me andthat opening riff, you know, and

(18:01):
the drums were very kind oflike um, kind of off the rails a
little bit, but it was so heavyLike I'd never heard anything
that heavy.
I mean, I've, you know, I wasused to foreigner and you know
ELO and yes, and, and you knowwhat I mean, that kind of stuff.
You probably hear my dogsparking at the FedEx guy.

(18:23):
Um, and I heard this and thatsong.
Just like it clicked and andthis is another thing that we'll
touch on as far as music goes,I've I wish I was an amazing
writer I'm not, but but I'vealways the written word has
always been.
I actually learned to readfairly early and comic books

(18:47):
were a huge part of my brotherand I's life.
You know, my brother battleddyslexia and comic books
basically helped him throughthat time, and for me as well.
So lyrics have always been justnot the entire song, but, man,
when you can dive into a certainchorus or a verse or just a

(19:11):
phrase sometimes I'll havesometimes just random lyrics
will just pop in my head.
So the line in that song whereit says, yeah, nobody will ever
let you know when you ask thereasons why, they just tell you
that you're on your own, fillyour head all full of lies, and

(19:34):
I remember being nine years oldgoing.
That's true.
That's fucking true.
I mean, I'm like, I'm like OzzyOsbourne is speaking to me
personally, right, and my, youknow, had a pretty I don't want
to say tumultuous, but you know,had a childhood that wasn't,

(19:56):
you know, as normal as it couldhave been.
So that song really still tothis day speaks to me.

Speaker 4 (20:03):
you know, let's take a quick listen, but you don't
want to know.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Nobody will ever let you know.
When you ask the reasons why,they just tell you that you're
on your own.
Fill your head all full of liesSuch an amazing song.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
So that was the first time I'd heard real metal, you
know.
And the following year Idiscovered Motley Crue and Iron
Maiden and Judas Priest and wentdown the rabbit hole Nice.
As far as that goes, you know,yeah, yeah, but that's go ahead.

Speaker 4 (21:01):
Yeah, I was going to say, like you know, getting the
songs ready for this.
That's go ahead.
Yeah, I was gonna say, like youknow, getting the songs ready
for this.
And you know I, I remember my,my family was, you know, uh,
very big into music and we hadour record chess.
And I remember exactly likeyou're saying, when you see the
front of the record, I rememberseeing like the kiss album and
even the, the meatloaf bat outof hell, like not necessarily
the music, but the album, it'sthis, like you know, just, and

(21:23):
those, those albums at that time, metal and everything just over
the top with artwork and you'relike the artwork yeah, and it's
just like, wow, like I thinkabout you know in in, you know
the past 20 years or whatever,even like you know and as, as we
were in teenage years and stuff, you know two live crew and
whatever and people were talkingabout like, oh, the music's
corrupt in the youth.

(21:43):
I think back to the 70s and wasthis coming out?
People must have lost theirmind, right, like like, yeah,
ozzy, like and and I mean it'sbeen talked about that way, but
people you know, like ozzy musthave been like the actual devil
in people's eyes.
Right, like this is like theantichrist coming to be and
stuff, um, yeah, but yeah justso so powerful and, like you

(22:04):
said, I think it's so good too,because it's like when people
kind of criticize art in thatway, they're focusing on kind of
the wrong things.
Because look at the lyric youpulled out, right, that spoke to
you at nine years old.
That's yeah, that's deep shit.
Right, that's philosophicalheavy stuff.
And you got it at nine, right,yeah, um, and so if someone

(22:26):
wanted to just be like, don'tlisten to that, it's the devil's
music or something like that,it's like man, what a missed
opportunity to actually liketalk to someone at nine years
old and have them talk throughthese thoughts and ideas that
they're they're having, yeah,well, and I mean not to go down
this, this rabbit hole, but Imean, especially in the U?

Speaker 1 (22:47):
S, I think that there's a there's a tendency for
real religiosity, and let'sjust call a spade a spade.
I mean, you know, like legittraditional Christian
fundamentalist vibe of, you know, the satanic panic of the
eighties, that was real, right,a lot of people's lives, you

(23:07):
know the West Memphis three,that was real, you know, ruined
those kids lives because theylistened to metal.
Yeah, and I've always had apretty aggressive disdain for
religion in general and it's I,you know, I think it's a force
for evil in the world, butthat's just me.
What do I know?
Um, but, but, but thedemonization of music and has

(23:32):
has always been part of it.
And I guess for some people,you know, looking at that iron
maiden cover or the kiss of lifetoo, you know what I mean.
Like you see that gatefold andyou just go, oh my God, that's
amazing, that's part of it.
But I mean, they said the samething about the Beatles.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Right Elvis.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Elvis was satanic because he did the little shimmy
or whatever.

Speaker 4 (23:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah 100% .

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Come on, I don't want to go down that rabbit hole,
but I agree.

Speaker 5 (24:04):
Yeah, down that rabbit hole, but but um, yeah, I
agree, yeah, but I think theway you kind of the, the way you
link this song to yourchildhood, I think is really
powerful, particularly with thatlyric.
Like, as a kid, we we have somany questions about life and
why and you know, the adults inour lives don't always give us
the answers right they give uswhat's comfortable for them or
what they think we need to hear,like you know, whatever.
But so then you're sort of leftto like make sense of the world

(24:28):
as a kid and so when music cankind of help, you feel like
you're not the only one tryingto make sense of stuff.
That's super powerful.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah Well, and I mean here's, here's, this will give
you a little bit more insight,and I mean, I guess I think I
feel pretty comfortable nowspeaking about this publicly,
but, um, that song was likelater on, uh, in the year, uh,
my ninth year, or whatever, andearlier in that year it's uh,

(25:00):
you know, it was a victim ofsexual abuse and it was a kid in
the neighborhood.
And and, uh, it was a kid inthe neighborhood and it was
never told anybody.
You know what I mean?
Everything.
That's why I'm 50 and you knowmy midlife crisis was actually
going to therapy.
Me and David can relate to that, and Carolina as well.
We can all relate to thatunresolved trauma that affects

(25:29):
you as an as an adult.
But I remember that lyricspecifically because all that
was really fresh, right and anddidn't speak to anybody about it
, didn't mention it to myparents, to anybody at school,
didn't trust anybody.
I was just like just carryingthis fucking bag of bricks that
I carried for 40 years.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
I mean, and I and that song, I like that part.
You know they just tell youthat you're on your own, okay,
and I guess I am.
You know, at least when it cameto that, the guilt, the shame,
everything associated with it,at least when it came to that,
the guilt, the shame, everythingassociated with it.
So not to get too emotionallyheavy on y'all, but when I hear

(26:12):
that song today I don't thinkabout the abuse but I think
about how it gave me a, I don'tknow, I'd say like a lifeline,
like a way to vent.
You know what I'd say like alifeline, like a way to vent you
know what I mean.
Almost a way to kind of likenot process it, because as a kid
you don't Sure.

Speaker 5 (26:31):
You know what I?

Speaker 1 (26:32):
mean, you don't know.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Yeah, sometimes music I know for me like you don't
know this artist, you're notlike in the room with them, but
somehow you like, feel, seen,like this person gets me or or
in some way.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, you can feel that way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want tothank you.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Yeah, deep breath.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
I'm good.
It's good, it's weird.
It's weird.
It's weird, like talking aboutit a little bit, but it's part
of the process.
And if it, helps anybody?

Speaker 5 (27:10):
Sorry, raza, a lesson David and I have learned
recently.
And if you watch David's mostrecent episode, he talks about
going to a place in Mexico tokind of deal with a lot of this
trauma.
I went as well.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
That's amazing Because we get to that in here
too.

Speaker 5 (27:23):
Oh great, but yeah this idea that in here too, oh
great, um, but yeah, this ideathat pain demands to be felt,
right.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Even if it's 40 years later.
Hmm, that's a great way to putthat.
I'm going to steal that.
That's cool, you can have it.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
It demands to be.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
I mean it demands to be heard and seen.
Yeah, yeah, or it gets reallyheavy, too heavy yeah well and
that's the shadow work right,like when we're, when we're in
therapy and we're and we'redoing that, we're confronting
all that you know, yeah now youmentioned carrying the stuff for
going on 40 years, uh yeah itreminds me of the, the theme of

(28:03):
the new Metallica record 72Seasons.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
I think there's a.
There's a quote from from fromHetfield, something along the
lines of a lot of your adulthoodis working out shit from your
childhood, making sense of it,making sense of what happened,
yeah, and processing it and thenlearning to move forward with
it.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Well, and now it's a lot easier.
You know, we're kind of atleast Raza, I think you're a few
years younger than me and Davidbut we can talk about mental
health, we can talk about stuffnow.
I know Carolina's young, but wecan talk about things in a
different way.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, we can actuallytalk about things in a different

(28:44):
way.
Like, yeah, yeah, when we canactually talk about it
you weren't talking about thisstuff at all.
No at all, you know what I meanyeah, yeah, and so now it's,
it's, it's, it's accepted, andand and and you know it and and

(29:23):
and and you know it takes a helpso many other people, right?

Speaker 4 (29:26):
because it's that feeling of when you experience
trauma, whatever kind of traumait is, you feel like one, like
you said, the shame, there'ssomething wrong with you, right,
yeah, and have those feelingsof guilt and shame um, I must
have done something to deservewhatever happened, um.
But you also feel like you are,as the song says, you're on your

(29:48):
own, and you're and not just onyour own in the sense of you
got to deal with it on your own,but you feel on your own in the
sense of I must be the only onethat this happened to, right,
and so part of sharing about itis just that fact of I know
within the veteran community andptsd and talking about it, just
when you hear other peopleshare it that they're struggling

(30:08):
with these things, it's justlike it takes a little bit of
the weight off you, becauseyou're like, oh, it's not just
me, it's not something I did,it's not something uniquely
wrong with me that I can't movepast whatever happened or
whatever it was, like this issomething that's that's there.
Yeah, yeah, so I happened, orwhatever it was.
Like this is something that's,that's there.
Um, yeah, yeah.
So I just appreciate yousharing and speaking to it,
cause it's that's huge.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Well, you inspired me when I watched your episode as
well.
It's like you know, and I've,and I've heard, I've, you know,
I've seen a few differentepisodes um, where people just
rip off the bandaid and they putit out there, and if it helps
somebody, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
If it helps somebody and yeah.
Yeah, and that's why Iappreciate you coming on and
sharing Cause that was the wholeidea with getting this show
going.
Was that kind of idea Like, hey, I love music, I love talking
about music.
It seems important in people'slives, but it seems like it.
It's a.
It's a way we can get talkingabout some of these things that
are below the surface, that wenormally wouldn't talk about,

(31:09):
right, especially you know, youas a professional musician, most
of the interviews you're goingto do, they're not going to be
diving into that, right, they'regoing to be like you know what
was going on in the last tour.
How'd you write this?

Speaker 5 (31:20):
new album you know these types of things, which is
fine fine Cause.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
that's what they're about that's that industry and
that's what they want to know,right?
But I just was like this is away where we can start, you know
, kind of having some of theseconversations and putting some
of these things out in the openwithout it being therapy, right?
Just we're just talking aboutmusic, but we're sharing these.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
You know personal, personal stories, so yeah, and I
mean these, you know, personal,personal stories.
So yeah, yeah, and, and just, Imean the fact that podcasts are
so popular now, like it's yeah,you know mainstream media.
It is what it is, but you know,I'm getting more information
from here and interestingconversations that y'all have or
that rogan has or that.

(32:01):
Uh, I love chris.
You know Modern Wisdom.
His podcast is great.
Diary of a CEO is great.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
You know I'm a huge Sam Harris fan.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
I mean Sam Harris is probably my intellectual idol at
this point Dude.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
Everybody's like oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Sam Harris.
Sam Harris is awesome.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
He's almost too good he's really good.

Speaker 4 (32:24):
I just would like to pause and recognize that.
And if, sam Harris, if thisgets back to you, we're here
talking about Metallica, ozzyOsbourne, everyone's like yeah,
yeah, yeah.
And we said Sam Harris, andeveryone was like oh yes, so Sam
Harris, you are rocking it.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, but it's true.
I mean, you can get so muchmore out of at least me
personally, and I'm sure it'slike this for a lot of people
you get so much more out of areal conversation.
We're just having a realconversation.
It doesn't matter if it's 30minutes or three hours, and
there's an authenticity to it,there's a transparency to it and

(33:02):
it's not, you know, two minutesound bites and and, uh, you
know reading off theteleprompter or or or, hitting
your talking points that you're.
You know your marketing managersays you need to hit which we do
you know, but that's that'swhen you're on tour and that's
when you're promoting a recordor whatever.
You know yeah.

Speaker 5 (33:22):
All right, cool, let's move on to your next song,
right?

Speaker 4 (33:24):
Just full disclosure.
Carolina and I are actually thesame age, but we get that all
the time.
So you're not.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
No, you're not off I thought she was at least five
years younger.

Speaker 4 (33:33):
No, six months younger, that's it.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Oh, wow, you know what?
My uh dude wendy's actually 11days older than me, which is
amazing.
So I'm like, hey, you likeyounger guys.
She's like 11 days older thanme, which is amazing.
So I'm like, hey, you likeyounger guys, she's like 11 days
Really.
Robin the Cradle oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
All right.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Anyway, I love that you felt the need to clarify
that too, and that cracks me up.

Speaker 4 (33:58):
It's just one of those funny things, because I
get it.
You know I look old and wizenedand weird, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
It's real man.

Speaker 5 (34:05):
Look at that yeah, yeah, yeah, um, all right okay
so for your next song, for yournext song?
Um, what is a song that openedyou up to an entirely new
perspective well this.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
That perspective led me down, like the career path
that I took, stylistically,musically, grew up a metalhead,
um, and obviously the.
The music from my childhood was, you know, classic rock, I
guess, let's say genre wise, um.
And on a side note, my momwould also play a lot of motown

(34:42):
around the house sometimes.
That's why I still still havean affinity for some of those
really mid to late 60s Motownartists.
But anyway, 1991, I think, wasthe original recording and
release, and so I must have been17, I guess.

(35:04):
So the collaboration betweenAnthrax and Public Enemy I was
already a huge Anthrax fan.
So I mean, we all grew up withthe big four.
You know, yeah, it's like youknow Metallica, neganath, and

(35:27):
you know Anthrax and Slayer, andI can honestly say that without
those four drummers I probablywouldn't have went down the path
that I did.
But Charlie Benante has alwaysbeen a really big influence on
me and he's an amazing person aswell and I've got to meet him a
couple of times.
I don't know him well, but I'vemet him.
He's super cool.
But this song they did acollaboration with Public Enemy

(35:47):
and it was the first time that Ihad heard heavy music with hip
hop and I know that David had anNWA song and then that song
kind of led me into a spacewhere I was like, well, man, rap
is kind of cool, it's punk rockin a weird way, because they're
talking about shit thatnobody's talking about and

(36:09):
they're, they're talking likewith a grit and an authority and
uh and an authenticity thatthat wasn't pop tunes, I mean,
they're talking about theirlives, you know just happens to
be a bunch of you know likecrazy shit happening, um, but
and and public enemiesspecifically, uh, you know, like

(36:34):
they always they, they alwayshad that political slant to it,
yeah, and uh, flavor of flavorwas amazing and, chuck, these
lyrics were just out of control.
Um and so this song kind ofbring the noise, yeah, with
Public Enemy and Anthrax.
It opened up my mind to.
I'm like you can like Charlie'sdoing all this cool double kick

(36:54):
stuff over a rapper.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Like how is that even happening?
Like I've never heard anythingthat cool before.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Let's take a listen.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
Melt your brain.
Yeah, let's melt a listen.
Melt your brain.

Speaker 4 (37:05):
Yeah, yeah, let's melt our brains all over again.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Let's do it war.
We got to get them straight.
Come on now.
They're gonna have to wait tillwe get it right.
Radio stations like western.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
They're black, as they call us a black, but we'll
see you still, still so goodlike it's not like yeah, it
doesn't sound like you're like,you put it on and you're like oh
yeah, that's dated, or thatsounds oh, that was good at the

(37:47):
time, but I don't think I'd pullit out.
No, it's just as amazing now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Without that song, nu metal doesn't exist.
Yeah, right In my opinion.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Yeah, yeah, well, I know this is for Rage Against
the Machine, this for anything,that was the next iteration Dude
this.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
You got corn, you got Limp Bizkit, you got Deftones,
you got.
You got.
You got everything like allthat kind of stuff where you
could implement those hip hopsensibilities, rap sensibilities
into heavier music.
Yeah, and incidentally, you'llappreciate this, david, cause
you're a Rush fan but this lastJanuary and the January previous

(38:24):
, uh, we do a benefit um to Neil, for for Neil Pert, uh, his,
his, uh, he has a foundation setup through Cedar Sinai for um,
the condition that he sufferedfrom, the neuroblastoma, and so
every year we do this, we dothis um, it's like a benefit

(38:46):
show.
A hundred percent of theproceeds go to that charity.
And so this last year it wasmyself, jason Bittner from
Shadows Fall Overkill, mikePortnoy amazing, you know, just
such a sweetheart of a guy hasbeen so kind to me over my
career and and given me a lot ofgreat advice.
But anyway, frankie Bello fromanthrax was actually at the last

(39:09):
two and and it was cool manTalking to him about like, like
dude among the living, bro, comeon, like you know, and and his
bass playing was amazing andsuch a kind soul and but anyway,
that's.
I thought I'd throw that inthere because the fact that this
was so influential and then,later on in life, actually being

(39:30):
able to play on the same stagewith, with, with, with someone
you grew up, um, listening toand who kind of helped mold you
into the musician that you are.
Um, and another little sidething was when I was playing for
Vanilla Ice, we did a song onthe Bipolar record.
This record was called Bipolar.

(39:51):
It was recorded in Dallas,texas, but it was a
collaboration between Chuck Dand Rob, and a lot of people
haven't heard this song.
But the song is called ElvisKilled Kennedy.
You can probably find it onYouTube, but it's.
Professor Griff, before he wasexcommunicated, was actually in

(40:12):
the studio and it was amazing.
I was like, oh my God, he'ssitting behind the board and the
drum tracks had already beenprogrammed and he's like I want
live drums on this son.
I'm like fuck, I got you, man,Like I'm in, you know, and I and
I, and I mean I had my you knowmetal set up, but I just set up

(40:36):
this, you know, just a kick, asnare, you know floor tom, a
couple of crashes and a hat, andjust kind of went for it floor
tom, a couple crashes and a hat,and just kind of went for it
and uh, and, and I rememberthinking like holy shit, did I
really just track a song withfucking chuck d like wow and
yeah and and again, like lateron in life you know what I mean

(40:59):
like I was probably five yearsold, 26 years old I didn't
realize that I would ever, whenI was listening to you know,
bring the noise in my bedroom onmy jam box, on cassette, you
know, then I would be in astudio with the guy.
So life is weird sometimes.

Speaker 5 (41:21):
Right those like full circle moments.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (41:28):
Yeah, they're cool.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Yeah, yeah, they, they're pretty cool.
I'll tell you one thing I mean,bringing you on the show is
definitely a full circle momentfor me.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
so, uh, and it goes back to the whole vanilla ice um
, uh, you know stint that youhave because that's I.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
That's where I first heard about you as a drummer.
Where did we meet, dude, we'venever met.
It was instagram, it was a shotin the dark and and and I, I've
I've written songs.
You know, imagining what you,as a drummer, would play on
those songs.
I mean the showmanship, the um,like the bottom set up and I

(42:00):
don't want to go down the nerdy,you know rabbit hole, but but
yeah's awesome and it goes backto watching what you were doing
with Rob.
Yeah, just very basic grooves Alot of breakbeats.
Yeah, yeah yeah, just powerbehind it, and then mixing the

(42:20):
DJ stuff in there as well, andthen following your career, you
know, there on out.
So, yeah, no, it's, this isawesome, cool.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
I appreciate it.
And what was cool with thatwith, with playing with with rob
, was that that the drums were afocal point and that was by
design, you know.
And we, yeah, we had a dj and,yeah, there were, there was
backing tracks, but man, I wasdude, my riser was always at the
front of the stage.
Rob and I were always very kindof in sync and and and animated

(42:50):
together.
You know, it was almost likehaving you know.
I mean, I was there to back himup.
That's my job as a drummer isto back up my, you know, the
front man.
But but there was a lot oftimes where we were just had
this kind of symbiotic thing andand, and it was a lot going on
on stage and it takes a verykind of unique front man singer

(43:14):
to be comfortable with a drummer.
That's going to demandattention, so to speak.

Speaker 5 (43:20):
You know what I mean, Because that's where.
That's where all this shitcomes from.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
That's where all this shit comes from.
It's like us as drummers andyou know what I mean, Because
that's where.
It's like us as drummers, andyou know all the drummers that I
grew up.
You know a lot of the drummersthat I grew up listening to and
watching.
You know whether it's Tommy Lee, Randy Castillo, Tommy Aldridge
.
You know vicky fox.

(43:47):
You know like I used to watch,like like not so much musically
but just for for, for the way heapproached stylistically behind
the kit, bloss elias as well,like um and so uh, yeah, that's
that's kind of yeah, good stuff.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Yeah, I think it's that thing too, and, like you
know all of these differentstories of like meeting our
heroes, so to speak, or meetingpeople we were looked up to and
things, and then you realizethey're just people that were
doing their thing right and so,like, at the end of the day,
we're all just human beingsdoing our thing.
I love this.
It's an old clip back mtv likeuh, it's henry rollins and he's

(44:29):
sitting there on like the 120minute stage or headbangers ball
stage or something like that,just kind of sitting there and
he he's got.
He says this thing about youknow, don't be in awe of your
heroes, be inspired by them.
Yeah right, you know in thatway of like, don't just be like,
oh my god, they're gods, butyou know, like, be inspired by
them.
Yeah Right, you know in thatway of like, don't just be like,
oh my God, they're gods, butyou know like, be inspired.
They're just people that arefollowing their stuff and doing

(44:49):
their thing.
So do yours too.
And I think that's kind of themessage in here is just do your
thing.
And yeah, you meet people alongthe way.

Speaker 5 (44:57):
You never know what other cool shit together.
You never know.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, absolutely.
Carolina reminds me of one ofmy favorite Terrence McKenna
quotes.
After he, you know, did DMT, hewas like don't give in to
astonishment, it's just kind oflike along the same kind of
lines, yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
Right.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
Right, yeah, and everybody's going to have to go
Google who Terrence McKenna was.
But yeah, yes.

Speaker 4 (45:28):
Yeah, and in a little bit of music trivia before we
move, because I know Carolina isgoing to be like next song.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Keeping us honest.
I love it.

Speaker 4 (45:34):
In preparing this episode and pulling up the
anthrax and getting the clip ofBring the Noise.
This isn't my interview, but abig song for me was Anthrax the
man right.

Speaker 5 (45:46):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
And that and that came out a couple of years
before bring the noise and Iremember I had the cassette
single of it and as I waspulling up I just happened to
notice on that single um, theyhave a cover of Sabbath bloody
Sabbath on there, yeah.
So, bringing this kind of fullcircle of the previous song.
Yeah, there it is the the blacksabbath anthrax connection,

(46:07):
which is funny because when Iwas getting the black sabbath
song together I was like I feltvery connected to it, but it was
more because of the anthraxcover of it that I remember
because I was, I wore thatcassette out, right, so just
kind of that, that cool thingagain uh, the inspiration and
stuff of the people before usand the people after us.
Right, you're being inspired byanthrax, anthrax being inspired

(46:28):
by Black Sabbath, and you knowfull circle idea of it.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Yeah, A hundred percent.
The world is tiny and that's agreat cover.
More people should hear thatversion, you know?
Yeah, go check it out.

Speaker 4 (46:40):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
All right.

Speaker 5 (46:45):
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (46:46):
Yeah, before I get fired from my own show.

Speaker 5 (46:50):
All right, so for your next song, um moving to
like that sort of healing,therapeutic quality of music in
our lives.
What's a song that helped youthrough a difficult time or
situation?

Speaker 1 (47:05):
through a difficult time or situation.
Okay, I guess we're going to godown this thing.
Okay, so the song I picked forthat question was a Stevie Nicks
song, edge of 17, which is aweird which a lot of people

(47:25):
would probably think.
How is that emotionallysignificant?
I mean, it's a pop song, it's apop rock song, it's from the
70s, it's.
But there's some lyrics inthere, um, that that in the
moment were really profound, youknow, um, and we going to have

(47:46):
to dive into like I don't knowshit.
That's never fun to talk about,and especially admitting in
public that um could be, youknow, kind of tough Um, but you
know I'll throw this out there.
I've been in therapy for 10months and so, um, I'm to the

(48:08):
point now, um, through throughthat process of like shadow work
, edmr, having an amazingtherapist, that, um, I can talk
about this kind of shit and andhopefully, you know, know, maybe
it'll help somebody else.
But uh so the story is that in2000 2001 I had already been in

(48:37):
vanilla ice, um, for since 99right, it's a few years touring,
touring my ass off, and it wasa lot of.
We would do bus toursoccasionally, but it was a lot
of fly dates and Bob Zilla and Iwere roommates with this friend
of ours, ren Massengill, andman, it's just a crazy time, but

(49:05):
it was that August.
It was really weird.
I had been kind of back andforth with a couple of different
girlfriends and I've always hadissues with with I say issues,
but you know, jumping from onebad relationship to another to
another and never being able toactually be a good team member

(49:26):
or a good boyfriend or and I canadmit that now like fucking
worst boyfriend ever, right,like, but just cut to the chase.
My mom, who battled her owndemons her whole life and had
her own childhood drama and, uh,you know, addiction and

(49:50):
alcoholism and all these things.
So she had a stroke at 54,which is four years older than I
am now, which is kind ofbizarre to think and, um, that
was really that.
That was weird.
Like it was the women thatraised my brother and I wasn't

(50:13):
there anymore, and so she was,um, she was in ICU for four
weeks and, um, she flatlinedtwice and because she was, I
guess let's say justirresponsible or whatever,
didn't have a DNR, didn't have aliving will, didn't have a will
and testament, had fuckingnothing right.

(50:35):
So everything kind of fell onme, which I'm their oldest son.
I get that, that's my thing,but I still didn't have any say.
And so you're a kid, you know,26, 27 years old, and I'm trying
to deal with this and mybrother and I are trying to deal
with it together.

(50:56):
My dad wasn't really in thepicture, uh, on that situation
and uh, I just remember that I'mlike, okay, I can get through
this, you know what I mean Likelike, we're going to get mom,
like you know, through it.

(51:16):
But a couple of weeks into thisentire process, um it in August,
one of my best friends I havehis face tattooed on my leg but
this guy, dave Williams, um,from Dallas, texas.
He was a senior in a bandcalled drowning pool and he
passed and he was on the he theywere on Ausfest and they found

(51:38):
him in his bunk in Manassas,virginia.
You know their record had justwent platinum, double platinum
like they were on top of theworld.
But he's a buddy of mine andhim and I he was one of the
first people that I actually hadexperimented with MDMA and
actually being vulnerable infront of another guy was
something new and he was a closefriend and I loved him.

(52:03):
I mean, I still do.
But when he passed it was andthe weird thing was I was with
him the week before, like I flew, like there was a there was a
vanilla ice tour that had likewe were in boston and I talked
to him that day I was at theairport.
He's like what's up, son?
I'm like, dude, I'm flying home, I'm at logan and he's like

(52:24):
dude, come to atlanta, jump onthe bus, you know, whatever it
is.
I ended up riding with the oldnino actually on that for a few
days, but me and Dave got tohang out and Mike Luce and all
the Drown and Pull boys.
So when he passed it was kind oflike just a gut punch after
everything that had happenedwith my mom.
I don't know, man.

(52:46):
It's hard to describe how andwhy depression hits us and I
know that all four of us on thisscreen can, can relate.
Now a lot of people listeningcan relate.
You don't know, like I don'tknow why or or or how all that
happened.
But a couple of years earlierI'd had a, a close friend, um,

(53:09):
on a live himself and and I hadjust known a few of these people
that I'm just like, fuck man,is there something in the water
or is this just?
This is just what life is.
Sometimes you catch your chipsand you just don't know.
But there was a situation I had.
I had left the hospital, my momhad flatlined go blue, and then
they brought her back and I'mlike just, can you just fucking

(53:31):
let her go?
I remember screaming at thefucking neurologist and they
called.
They were going to callsecurity on my brother, because
I mean, you know my brother atthe time.
Well, he's still, you know, six, one, two hundred pounds,
benches, 400 gives zero fucks,right, right.
And we're sitting there likewhat do you mean?
I don't have, I didn't have asay because she didn't have a

(54:05):
dnr.
So they, they're like you know,they Right, right it.
Um.
For those of y'all who haven'tbeen in therapy, you don't think
you're really gonna do it.
But if you got in a plane wreck, if you, you know what I mean,
like, yeah, probably wouldn't,probably wouldn't care so much.
So maybe you, you engage inrisky behaviors, maybe you, uh,

(54:26):
maybe you're at the skate, youknow, at the skate ramp and and
stupid shit, or maybe you're.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
You know, what.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
I mean.

Speaker 5 (54:35):
Experimenting with drugs.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Yeah, all those things.
I just remember driving downWalnut Hill and I left the
hospital and I had that car Ihad at the time I was hey, it's
the 90s, what do you want?
Right?
I had a 240SX gold pirelli tiresit's terrible I bought it off a

(54:57):
buddy of mine and he had theearl shive like gold flake.
It was more like almost a, likea yellowish gold, right, it's
kind of yeah, yeah, but thatthing was quick.
And I remember driving down andand and I was like you know
what man this is, maybe, maybe,maybe I'm not going to, maybe I
don't fucking need to ever gotto that point, you know, but I

(55:24):
was having problems in a lot ofmy relationships, not just with
girls, but a couple offriendships that were struggling
and uh, and again, like yousaid David, like you feel alone,

(55:45):
you feel like there's nobody,like nobody could possibly
fucking know what you're talkingabout, or the people that do
have already unalived themselves.
Right, you know.
And then my but you know, likeI said Dave, you know, dave was
one of my, one of my friendsthat I could confide in, that I
can talk to and be like man I Ido.
I don't feel right, like thisis, is this, is this what it is?

(56:07):
You know what I mean and wewould listen to music.
You know what I mean and wewould, you know, yeah.
So I remember driving downWalnut Hill in that Nissan,
thinking man, I could, just that, you know, I'm doing like 70 in

(56:29):
a 45.
I'm like, dude, I could just dothis.
There's a semi right there.
And as these thoughts are goingthrough your head and it wasn't
just ideation, it was like Iwas like I could do this right
now.
And you know, the mind isstrange, like when you're, you
know you go to, you know pick upa cup or something, you're like

(56:51):
, okay, okay, I'm thinking aboutthat, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do
it and and in that moment I feltthat I felt that like I could
just, and the radio was on andthis song came on the radio and,
uh, and, and it did something,I don't know know it was.

(57:13):
It was the lyrics, I think, butit was also.
I mean just, it's very haunting, like this song in particular,
I think, is very haunting, and Ihave memories of being a kid
hearing it, cause my mom was ahuge Stevie Nicks fan,
especially her first solo record.
But I remember those lyrics andI was just like man, I don't

(57:34):
want to, I still got shit to doyou know, and I remember just
pulling over and pulling into aparking lot it's like a seven,
11 or something and just justparking and just just turning it
up and listening to the rest ofthe song and that song

(57:56):
literally saved my life.
Yeah, you know that lyric oflike.
In a way that is my own.
I begin again.
You know it was kind of likeyeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:11):
It's weird, heavy, let's take a listen to this song
and, uh, we'll talk some moreafter.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
On the other side and the days go by Like a strand in
the wind and the web.
That is long.
I begin again.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Said to my friend Everything sucks, nothing else
matters.
Fuck, fuck, great song.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
Yeah, I don't know, man.
Again, in that moment it waslike those lyrics were speaking
to me directly.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
Yeah, you know, we say Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (59:06):
We say often here we don't pick the song.
Always the song picks us, yeah,and it feels like that in
always the song picks us, yeah,and it feels like that in that
moment, doesn't it.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Yeah, yeah, it was kind of like why was that on the
radio 97.1.
In Dallas, texas, the Eagle.
I remember the station, Iremember the street I was
driving on.
I remember I could visualize.
You know, yeah, I was wearingboard shorts and a you know a

(59:42):
sleeveless Slayer shirt.
I just left the hospital, right, yeah, I mean all those things
are like etched into your yeah,but um, yeah, so I can thank
Stevie Nicks, I'm sitting infront of y'all, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
For real.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
And I think it's.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
I mean, first off, thank you for again sharing um
that, sharing that is tough totalk about.
As someone who's had to talkabout it myself, yeah, I
appreciate that.
It's a challenge to say it outloud, even if you know it inside
.
It's a challenge to say thewords out loud of yes, I had

(01:00:26):
this thought and it was morethan just an imagination of like
well, yeah, if the planecrashed it'd be fine.
It was more of like no, I wasclose, you know, and I was, was
ready to do it.
Um, yeah, that's, that's toughto say, um, but it's so
important for others to hear itbecause the more people share it

(01:00:48):
, the more of us can be aware ofwhat it actually feels like.
Right, because I think there'sa lot of denial in it.
When, like you said, you talkedabout kind of suicidal ideation
and what it is and kind of howit functions, and I remember for
the longest time, just for me,people would ask me like are you
having suicidal thoughts?
Are you having thoughts ofsuicide?

(01:01:08):
And I was like no, because,like you said, I wasn't like
like planning to do something orwhatever, but I was constantly
thinking about it.
And so once I realized thatthat's that's what it means,
that's what it means to havethoughts of suicide, you're like
oh, okay, that's different.
And so the the just, the more wecan share about this and what

(01:01:31):
it looks like, what it feelslike, which you did such a you
know, not that it was aperformance that you were trying
to do, but just the way youshared it.
You shared it so authentically,beautifully and raw that it
just so captures what it feelslike.
It just so captures what itfeels like and I can guarantee

(01:01:52):
other people that are going tohear it are.
You know your story and sharingit is going to be the Stevie
Nicks for them.
Right, that's going to helpthem.
I hope.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
I mean I hope, and there's been so many friends and
situations that just you know,you just go, man.
I just wish you knew, you know,that there was at least
somebody cared, somebody gives afuck, you know, and that there
is help, and that tomorrow's youknow it's cliche Tomorrow's

(01:02:21):
another day, I mean, right, Iget it.
You know there's a lot ofpeople that are like my life's
not worth living.
Fuck this, right, Um, but um,yeah, man, it's to your, but um,
yeah, man, it's to your.
To your previous point too,that that there's just speaking
about it being open, about itbeing able to be vulnerable in

(01:02:43):
that way helps at least for meit's helping growth and and
being able to just kind of movepast.

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
You know, eventually, Right, and it can take the
weight off of it after you sayyeah yeah, and I think something
that's so important about yousharing your story, david,
sharing his story.
I've, you know, shared my storylike folks that have felt a
certain way.
I didn't share suicidalideation stuff on my episode
necessarily, but I've I've hadvery low points where I've
shared my story, folks that havefelt a certain way.

(01:03:11):
I didn't share suicidalideation stuff on my episode
necessarily, but I've had verylow points where I've thought
about it.
It looks different for everybodyand I think people sometimes
have this idea of what asuicidal ideation must look like
, either from a movie or frominterpretation.
But for some people it it canjust feel like I'm so tired, if

(01:03:33):
I could, just, if I could justrest.
And you don't, you're notactively saying I want to die,
you're just like I'm just sotired If I, if I could just not
do this anymore, or if I could,just, you know, and so it.
The more different stories weshare from different humans and
how it looks like for them, themore other people could be like

(01:03:56):
oh wait, that thought, is itjust me?
Maybe that thought's not thehealthiest thought.
Like, maybe I should talk tosomebody, you know, that helps
in that way yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Yeah, yeah I I agree it's it's all, it's all positive
.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Now I mean, this is growth, it's it's.
It's it's support, it's it'sthe fact that there's if
listening to a song or confidingin a, you know, in a, in a
friend or a family member orwhatever, whatever it is, or
listening to a fucking podcast,you know whatever gets you to
kind of understand that there ishelp and that there's, it's not

(01:04:33):
that the shame and the guilt,like I mean that's part of it.
You can't just will somebodyinto being better.
You know, I get that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
It's like telling an addict well, just fucking stop.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Like, how many people, how manypeople do we know that you just
go, like it's what it is.
They call that when mytherapist call it radical
acceptance.
Yeah, you just go, okay.
But inspiration is a big, is abig one, I think, is a big one.

(01:05:10):
I think, and again, for me,lyrics can be very, very
powerful and almost a form ofit's like because you can listen
to songs over and over again.
It's like sometimes theselyrics, or even the riff or

(01:05:32):
whatever it is for me, um will,will totally just get me out of
the negative headspace on it.
And there's a couple of guyslike like you know what I mean,
like for me and people withpeople listen to this music
sometimes, and especially whenit comes to metal.
David, like metal or heaviermusic in general.

(01:05:52):
But, man, there's been plenty oftimes where I was not in a good
spot and I would, you know, sitand maybe at my computer or
just with headphones and listento, like cory taylor, slipknot,
and people think they're just ahardcore grind.
You know metal band, you knowthey're crazy, they're from iowa
, but dude, arguably the mostprolific songwriter, lyricist of

(01:06:16):
my generation, I think.
Yeah, I mean, he's the way thatguy can articulate emotion and
feeling and and especially andhe's my friend, you know, I love
him, but it's it's like a lotof his lyrics have helped me
through some, some dark times aswell and, um, you know, like

(01:06:37):
over the last say, 10 years orwhatever, I really dig, I really
dig.
Uh, you know the these,everything that we're talking
about dealing with depression,dealing with whether it's you

(01:06:57):
know, just just issues that feelunsurmountable, like this
insurmountable fucking task.
And I'm a fan of that band, I'ma fan of him, um, and I think
that that these kind of thesekind of um like we need those
kind of songwriters, we needmore.

(01:07:17):
Like I said, I wish I was awriter.
You know what I mean, but I,you know I I hit shit with
sticks for money, so that'sthat's kind of where I'm at well
, I think in your own way youhelp the words come to life
right If they just sit writtenright.

Speaker 5 (01:07:34):
It's performing those lyrics in a way that hits
people and that takes acollaborative even with sticks.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
It's the Carolina with the philosophical hitting
the nail on the head there.

Speaker 3 (01:07:51):
You're absolutely right.

Speaker 5 (01:07:53):
We love that.
Every so often I get a cool.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
It's the danger of being a Rush fan and a Neil
Peart fan, because there youhave an amazing drummer who's
also an amazing lyricist, right.
So it makes us all not contentto just be a drummer.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Man, you know what?
To me, to just be a drummer,yeah man, you know what?
To me, it, just just as a sidenote, um, the first time I heard
that lyric, um, his mind is notfor rent to any God or
government.
I think that is like so like tolike.
That is more relevant todaythan it is when he wrote it.

(01:08:31):
I'm like, dude, we areresisting theocratic autocracy
here.
Neil Peart was man, that guywas Wow.
But that lyric you know the oneI'm talking about too.

Speaker 5 (01:08:46):
I say it all the time , because he died right before.
Like he missed the pandemic.
He missed right.
Like what would he have said?
About two months before the2020 to today Like you know,
miss his ability to write, causehe's really missed epic four
years on this planet.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Yeah, yeah, and that's always sad, you know,
when you're heroes, you know andnobody knows again.
And and all three of us sorry Ijust hit the mic, but all four
of us here can relate, like whenyou lose people that are, that
are so influential and prolific,like Chris Cornell, like

(01:09:28):
Chester Bennington, um, you golike, well, man, how, how did
that happen?
You know, like, and it's, it'swhat we're talking about, this
is all, this is this, is it?
You know?
this is it, you're like that guyhad everything.
It's like, well, maybe not,maybe he didn't you know, maybe

(01:09:49):
he couldn't, right, you know,and they say that you know and
people you know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:57):
it's a work in progress, I think, for all of us
you know, as fans of music, um,we have this like ongoing love
hate relationship with, with thepeople who we look up to and
are inspired by.
And then also, you know some ofthe, the ones that don't make
it.
You're like fuck why?
You know, and at the same timeyou also think, my God, I feel

(01:10:20):
terrible because the shit thatthey must be going through is
just, it's so good and whenthey're around and and and
putting this beautiful art, artout there for us to appreciate.
And then the ones that don'tmake it.
You know your Kurt Cobain's,your, you know Chester
Bennington's, your ChrisCornell's, it's, it's, it's good

(01:10:44):
and terrible at the same time.
But that's art and that's life,I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
Yeah, it's just such a cliche at this point.
You know I mean it really is.
You know I mean we werespeaking about Slipknot.
Paul Gray, it's like JoeyJordison, like friends, brothers
.
You know We've lost so manyprolific and powerful and

(01:11:12):
amazing people.
Who knows if, who knows if it's, if it's worse now than it was
in the seventies?
I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
I think it's a constant.
I was just about to ask youlike being in the industry an
industry that you know has sucha large proportion of these
stories, right?

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:11:34):
You know again, not you're.
You're not having to make aclaim on the entire industry in
any way.
I'm just asking your viewpoint.
What, what, what do you thinkis is?
Is driving that, contributingto it, making it like why is the
cliche there?
Right, Cause the cliche isbecause it's prevalent, right,
Is it?
Well, or it's that old saying,you know, because the cliche is
because it's prevalent, right,is it?

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
well, or it's that old saying you know it's funny
because it's true, right, youknow what I mean.
It's, it's, it's, there's areason that highly, highly
talented, motivated individualswho want to become a musician or
a singer or a drummer, guitarplayer, player, or, or, you know

(01:12:13):
, a lot of times you knowathletes um, you gotta be a
little bit narcissistic andneurotic to want to get up on
stage and say I'm going to dothat, I'm going to play arenas.
You know, I was nine, I was 10years old, you know, like that
black Sabbath record and I'mlike I'm going to play arenas.
I just, I, just, just I toldmyself I'm like that's, I'm

(01:12:34):
gonna do it.
By the time I was 12, I waslike I thought by the time I was
18, I was gonna be out on theroad with van halen.

Speaker 5 (01:12:44):
You're like, um, but, but that's, I don't know well,
iaza you, something you justsaid about how talented somebody
can be.
But then like, why?
Why does it end up doing them?
In made me think of something,because we all have a lot of us

(01:13:05):
have trauma and pain, right, Ithink, for people that are on a
public stage.
We know about it because theyreport about it, right, but we
know the veteran statistics areno'all thoughts, right.
Yeah, no, I don't have ananswer.

(01:13:40):
The question just came to mebecause we all have these things
that we carry.
They can fuel our work, theycan fuel our creativity, they
can feel art, but then it getslike too heavy and it ends up
killing us.
So like, how do we like balancethat shit?
And I'm not a professional, soI don't have an answer, but it's
, it's.

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
I'm seeing oh sorry, go ahead.
Rosa was going to say I'mseeing lives saved by music here
.
I'm seeing you knowno-transcript, yeah, you see it

(01:14:39):
at least going in a positivedirection in the industry yeah,
with with one kind of caveat man.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
Like the industry now it's not just the record
industry that I grew up in Doyou know what I mean?
Like you get a record deal, youbecome part of the machine,
recoupable income.
You release records, you tourfor a year and a half to two
years, rinse and repeat.
It's not like that anymore.
Like a lot of bands, they don'teven make records, they release

(01:15:12):
singles.
They make an $800 hundredthousand dollar video and then
they tour on that.
Um, it's uh, and.
And now with the internet, it'skind of crazy.
And as far as mental health,there's a guy that I know you
guys have heard of, but I saw apodcast with him and this guy is
probably the most subscribed todrummer on the internet.

(01:15:32):
Like uh, uh, estepario spanishguy and he's he's beyond fucking
ridiculous, like beyond cool.
I mean he's funny, he's like hedoes, his content is just
fucking spot on and he's superinspiring.
He does shit.
That like I've been playing myentire life on a, on a, on a, on

(01:15:55):
a high professional level andthis guy just does shit when
he's playing Slipknot with onehand, with one hand.
Fuck, it's that guy.

Speaker 5 (01:16:04):
I know he's talking about now.

Speaker 4 (01:16:05):
He's got a long beard Like that dude.
He's usually smoking a joint inthe other hand, while he's
doing it drinking dude.

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
He's like drinking coffee and shit and I'm not I
mean, I've never met the guy,but I did watch a podcast and
they asked him how his career is, how he decided to become the
most watched drummer on youtube,millions and millions and
millions of fucking subscribers.
He's like well, let me tell youthe story and you y'all can

(01:16:34):
research this or find I'm notsure what podcast.
I was skipping throughsomething on YouTube and saw it,
but basically he had beenplaying, was having a lot of
problems with life and was goingto cash in his chips and he
thought to himself you know what?
I've spent all this timegetting pretty good at my

(01:16:56):
instrument, maybe I should filmsome shit before I cash out.
And he did, and that shit blewthe fuck up.

Speaker 5 (01:17:05):
You know what I?

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
mean.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (01:17:08):
And now I mean I don't know.
I mean I wish you know we had,you know, a young Jamie here to
look up on the internet likesubscribers does Tapario have,
but I'm sure it's millions andmillions, it's millions.

Speaker 4 (01:17:24):
I know on YouTube.
It's millions.

Speaker 1 (01:17:26):
His story is inspiring.
That's an inspiring story.
His story is inspiring.
That's an inspiring storybecause people look at that guy
and they go, oh my God, you'rethe most talented human ever
when it comes to this specificthing that you do.
How did you ever struggle?
You know Well and, to our point, you never know.

(01:17:46):
You don't know what people aredoing.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:17:50):
Absolutely so that guy's inspiring, yeah to your
point, reza.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Hold that thought to your point, reza.
The industry is not justrecords anymore.
It's also youtube and facebookand instagram.
So what were you saying?
And um?

Speaker 4 (01:18:07):
david and I was just going to say in the sense of
like you know, know we weretalking about.
You know people that strugglethat you might not think, and
you know his story of like, hey,I think I'm going to end it all
, but let me make some videosfirst, and then they kind of
blow up all of the healingprocess.

(01:18:33):
What you eventually get to, youhave to say I need to stop
worrying about what people thinkand if something is going to be
good, and just do it, just beme and do it.
And so it's like how manypeople out there are like I'd
really like to make videos ofmyself drumming or painting or
doing whatever the hell it is,but they're like no, no one's
going to like it.
It's gonna be this, I'm gonnaget laughed at, don't?
And then you realize it is just, you know, doing it, putting it

(01:18:57):
out there, not, you know.
I agree, internet is vicious,it's tough, it is it is vicious,
right, and so yeah, make you

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
know it's, it's pretty hardcore right.

Speaker 4 (01:19:09):
If you're struggling with your mental health, putting
yourself on the internet maynot be the best option, but not
at first.
Do the do the thing right, gogo, get that band together.
Go, get on the web.
If you're a musician, whatever,and you're just want to play,
find people to play with and doit.
Don't worry about what you'regoing to make, what it's going
to be.

Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
You just do it.
Be people who like it.
You just do it.
Dave Grohl's one of my heroesman and for every reason why we
love him.
But you know he said in thatinterview he's like go out join
a band, play in a garage.
Write a song, hit shit withsticks, get a $50 guitar from a
pawn shop, you know, just getout there, you know, and do

(01:19:49):
something.
You know.
If you want to play, you knowPlay.

Speaker 3 (01:19:54):
Absolutely Take action.
You got to.
Yeah, it's the doing part.
Just do it Right.

Speaker 5 (01:19:58):
It's the intentional part of living your life, not
just sort of passively lettinglife pass you by, but
intentionally living Right.
So for your next song, what's asong that's intimately
connected to another activity?

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
Okay, this one was super easy.
The song is If I had a Heart bythe band Fever Ray.
They're Swedish and I lived inSweden for 11 years.
My ex-wife was Swedish and Ilived in Sweden for 11 years, my
ex-wife was Swedish, and sothis song is connected to 2016.

(01:20:42):
I flew to Peru and was thereand did an ayahuasca experience
that kind of opened my eyes tosome pretty interesting
perspectives and I know that youguys, everybody, y'all,
everybody here has experience aswell.
And the thing with it is thatwhen I was preparing for that

(01:21:07):
trip and it wasn't just the showVikings, I know everybody's
like, oh, it's the showVikingsikings.
It's like no, I had discoveredthat band and I was like man,
dude, this song is just haunting.
It's just it's it's and it kindof goes with, you know, the
entire meditative aspect of in,you know, the world's most

(01:21:31):
powerful hallucinogen, um, I,you know dimethyltryptamine,
ayahuasca, but also uh, uh,compounds like ibogaine or
salvio.
You know there's differentcompounds.
You can do, but this song, whenI was prepping for it and I and
I took it serious, like I haddone the research about
ayahuasca and and, um, you know,I did the diet uh, no meat, no

(01:21:57):
sugar, you know, no sexualactivities, no, just drinking a
lot of water.
And no, you know, prostate,whitefoot, process stuff and
just try to detox and stuff.
Um, I'll.
I'll preface everything withthe fact that I had detox and

(01:22:18):
stuff.
I'll preface everything with thefact that I had previously had
a period of my time in mymid-20s probably about five
years there where I was doingecstasy fairly regularly and it
got to be a negative thing.
It wasn't just fun anymore andit wasn't exploratory, it was
kind of it was.
It was getting dark and and andI hadn't I hadn't done that
since 1999, but uh, I had smokeduh.

(01:22:41):
Previous to this ayahuasca tripin 2016,.
About a year previous, I had,uh, I had smoked uh raw DMT,
which is a different experiencealtogether, because when you
smoke DMT, you're basically shotout of a cannon, figuratively,
and you're elevated to thispsychedelic space and usually

(01:23:07):
when you smoke it, you're thereanywhere.
You know three to you know 10minutes.
Whatever I was in for, like fourminutes, but ayahuasca, if
anybody's interested, it'stransformative.
It's when, for me, it was verypowerful because you never know
what's going to come up.
It was very powerful becauseyou never know what's going to

(01:23:29):
come up and, and for me it was alot of childhood trauma that I
was reliving in real time andyou know my spirit animal was a
pangolin weird.
I had to Google what it was.
I didn't know what I was aboutto say.
I described, I described,because it was me and a shaman
and a friend of mine.

(01:23:49):
It was for a TV, a Belgium TVshow, and it was filmed.
Actually it was kind of crazy,but it was me and a friend of
mine who's a chef in Belgium,and a shaman and a few, a couple
facilitators and the crew, youknow, a producer, a cameraman, a

(01:24:11):
sound man.
The show was called yes Yawn byAN and so, anyway, that
experience was kind of crazybecause, like I said, you never
know what you're going to see,right?
And the experience basicallykind of set me up for the fact

(01:24:35):
that all the things thathappened to me, there's a good
chance that they weren't myfault and I just don't have the
tools to deal with why.
That's true, if that makessense, because intellectually we
could always say, always say,man, all these things happened
and I can't get over it and, andI'm not gonna get over it, I'm

(01:24:58):
just gonna fucking bury it, I'mnever gonna talk about it and
I'm just gonna just carry thisbag of guilt and shame, carry
that bag of bricks, figuratively.
Um, and it's 2016.
That was kind of the thing.
That was like man, maybe, andit took years later for me to
actually rip the band-aid offand actually agree to go to

(01:25:20):
therapy and actually agree to toconfront everything but I, but,
but this but this experiencewas was life-changing in that
way, and the song can just, itjust puts me back in that head
space.
It's so, it's calming, it's,it's haunting, it's.
The lyrics are prettyprovocative.

Speaker 4 (01:25:40):
Yeah, let's take a listen and then we'll hear maybe
some experience on the otherside After the night, when I
wake up, I'll see what tomorrowbrings.

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,ah ah.

Speaker 3 (01:26:13):
Amazing, yeah, totally.
What was the Vikings connectionto this song?
Are these guys Swedish?

Speaker 1 (01:26:20):
Swedish, but also the first season of Vikings.
That was the intro music forthe show oh, wow, okay yeah.
I need more of this.
I'm like no, Fever Ray is anamazing artist.
I was into them before theywere cool.
Yeah, I need more of this.

Speaker 4 (01:26:31):
I'm like no.
Fever Ray is an amazing artist.
I was into them before.
They were cool.

Speaker 1 (01:26:36):
Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:26:39):
I get it, though I'll say, before doing Ibogaine I
had never done anotherpsychedelic and it has changed
the way I listen to music andthe kind of music I listen to,
like the experience of it all.
So I had never heard the song,but just in hearing that clip I
was like, oh, I get it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:55):
this is totally I need more real quick on your
carolina, on your on youribogaine experience was was it a
shamanic type situation?
Because mine, there was a.
The shaman was actually singingthese Icarus songs that were
integral to the actual thing,Cause he was actually guiding us
through everything, throughthese chants and these songs,

(01:27:20):
and communicating with theactual female or I.
I identify ayahuasca as afemale entity, but anyway they
call it.
They call ayahuasca as a femaleentity, but anyway they call it
.

Speaker 5 (01:27:33):
They call ayahuasca the grandmother of all
psychedelics, and they callibogaine the grandfather of all
psychedelics um everyone'sexperience is different.
Where we went they do have.
Part of the experience is isheadphones with a very curated
set of music.
However, uh, just to me, I didhave a guided trip, so I did

(01:27:53):
have a she's.
Oh God, david, how would youdescribe Erica?

Speaker 4 (01:28:02):
She studied in Gabon with the Bwiti tribes and stuff.

Speaker 5 (01:28:06):
So she's certified initiated, prepared to guide
people through the experience.
So she sat with me is noteverybody does, but she did
guide me.

Speaker 2 (01:28:15):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:28:16):
Cool and I think, going back to the whole
grandmother versus grandfather,from my understanding how
ayahuasca is I haven't doneayahuasca, I've done Ibogaine Is
that that's one of the maindifferences is exactly that your
experiences you're being guided, you're being, you know, it's
this, it's this, yeah,experience that is happening,

(01:28:37):
Whereas Ibogaine being thegrandfather the way they
describe it is like the medicineis going to sit you down and
sort of take you through.
So it is more you're more justkind of laying back and kind of
having the experience, ratherthan a movement and motion and
all of that.
So it seems like the twopsychedelics operate in their
own unique way.

(01:28:58):
That causes the sort of waythey look to be different.

Speaker 1 (01:29:02):
Yeah, yeah, and I've heard that as well.
I've never experienced ibogaine, but I know that it's just as
powerful as dimethyltryptamine.
As you know, dmt, the activeingredient in ayahuasca um, but
that experience specificallythough for me it was like the
cleansing aspect, being in themiddle of the amazon was was

(01:29:24):
kind of crazy and the sounds youhear, and you know what I mean,
Luckily for me.
Like you hear horror storiesabout people, but yeah, I threw
up, but you know, rocked, aheroic of, saw light at the end
of the tunnel, like, like youknow what, maybe I can get to a

(01:29:54):
point, maybe maybe I can get toa point where I can live with
life on life's terms and notalways try to fight.
How I'm feeling in the fuckingmoment, with, yeah, with
distractions, with, withdrumming, even you know, like
you know, which is a positivething, but still like alcohol,

(01:30:17):
for fucking sure, there wasplenty years there and we'll get
it, we'll get into that in thenext song, but you know where
you're like.
Well, why is this not working?
Well there's answers.
You don't want to hear them,but there are answers.

Speaker 4 (01:30:36):
Do you feel like I know, with my Ibogaine
experience, the way I'vesomewhat described it at times
is it helped me get out of myown way to see the things that
were there that I was justpreventing myself from seeing.
Right, maybe I could havegotten there with decades of
psychotherapy or something likethat, but it kind of just helped

(01:30:57):
clear stuff away and see thingsjust like just so vividly and
raw that it was like oh, wow,yeah, did you have that
experience of it Sort of like?
Did it feel like it was movingyou out of your own way or or
kind of like, yeah, it feel likeit was moving you out of your
own way, or or kind of like youknow what?
what did it?
What did it feel like, what?
What were the insights?
Well, well, that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:17):
I mean, you just described it perfectly because I
was like I could separate and Iwas watching like for you never
and again, you never know whatyou're going to be shown.
But I was watching like abuse,I was watching myself like, like
, like from, like from a, from aplace of above, like seeing

(01:31:39):
that happen and, and, and it'sme, but, but, but I was kind of
separated, but I could visuallysee it.
Everything is neon and 11dimensions of reality.
It's like we sound crazy whenwe talk about this.
They're like uh, you sound likea crackhead, it's like you know
it's true, you know, like I Iheard, I heard color, I saw

(01:32:01):
sound.

Speaker 4 (01:32:02):
Yeah you know, when I came out of mind it was sort of
like yeah, I'm like how am Igoing to tell anyone about this?
And not just you can't.
It's like so hard to do, it isso hard you know there were.

Speaker 1 (01:32:12):
There were standalone entities communicating
telepathically.
I tell people that they're likeyou're a fucking nut job.
I'm like, yeah, but there was afemale entity that was actually
having a conversation.
We were having a conversationand it was crazy and it was
awesome, um, but that's uh, toyour point.

(01:32:34):
Some of those feelings and andit was weird though, because I
was I knew it was going to betough I didn't realize I was
going to have to relive thatshit and I didn't know that it
wasn't just the sexual abuse,but it was also like times in my
life where, you know, maybe itwas bad situations with, where
you know, maybe it was badsituations with, um, it's the
cliche, but for my brother and Ithat shit was fucking serious

(01:32:56):
as a heart attack.
You know, like situations withstep parents, stepfathers and
and and you, you hear it's yeah,I mean, we don't have to get
into it Like everybody canpretty much assess what that
means.
You know, getting your headbeat in all the goddamn time,
sure, um, but I didn't thinkthat it's like, well, fuck man,
like what are you?
Are you just trying to fuckwith me?

(01:33:16):
You know what I mean, right,but what was crazy was.
It felt like forever, likeminutes, feel like at least for
me, minutes felt like decadesand I didn't think I was ever.
I'm like I'm never going home,I'm in this and I'm going to
feel this and I'm going to carrythis.

(01:33:37):
And then this female entitykind of came and was like okay,
so this is where you're at, whatdo you want to see?
Now I remember the question andI'm like where do we come from?

(01:34:00):
Very elementary school, maybethat was me as a child, you know
Right.
And then all of a sudden like Isee the big bang happen in real
time.
That's fucking cool.
Um, yeah, I, I, I tell peoplethat story.
They're like no, you didn't.
I'm like, dude, it's, it'sayahuasca.
Dude, you see some crazy shit.

(01:34:20):
But, um, but I did.
I did feel a release in a weirdway.
It was like you know, Iremember the first thing I said
because it's, it was filmed orwhatever.
The first thing I said when Icame out cause it's, it's not
like a slow come down, like forme, it was just like I was in.

(01:34:41):
And then all of a sudden I waslike, wow, you know, but I
remember the first thing I saidwas it's not my fault, which was
, which was kind of that wasyeah, yeah, that that was that
was kind of crazy and even if,even if my subconscious didn't

(01:35:01):
believe that, my conscious mindbelieved that there was, that
there was a way out, you know,in a in a positive way.

Speaker 5 (01:35:11):
Not right Right Right , right Right Right.

Speaker 4 (01:35:14):
Right, right.
It gives you that space torealize it can be different.

Speaker 1 (01:35:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:35:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:35:19):
Yeah, and now it's pretty ubiquitous, like you know
.
You can go on retreats, you can.
You can find ayahuasca.
I would suggest doing it with alicensed or not licensed, but
with a practitioner, somebodythat's authentic and and real
and not just somebody's backyardwith your buddies.
You know it's powerful, it'slike eyeball game, you know for

(01:35:40):
for veterans with PTSD and andsurvivors of childhood trauma,
and I mean you kind of need afacilitator, as Carolina is, you
know, like to help you along,because it can get pretty gnarly
.

Speaker 5 (01:35:55):
Yeah, I mean to help you along, to help you after
like to help you make sense ofwhat you saw and how you're
supposed to like integrate thatback into your like everyday
life.
Like I.
I urge caution to our viewers.
It right now psychedelics, youknow, not legal in the U S, so
if you go abroad to do it canfeel very much like the Wild
West and there are some horrorstories of non-licensed folks,

(01:36:20):
of folks peddling dangerous, notthe real deal shit that ends up
making people a lot worse.
So, you know, I thinkrecommendations are really good
of people who have been placesand can vouch for the staff and
vouch for the experience and theguides that'll take you through
it, and doing good research,because it is life changing.

(01:36:42):
But it is kind of pretty wildout there right now.

Speaker 1 (01:36:47):
Yeah, and even in Peru it's not, you know, I mean,
you know, um, iquitos, which isthe city it's, you know,
there's two ways to get thereeither on the river or a prop
plane from Lima.
Um, there's some sheistyfuckers there too, but luckily
for me, I had a facilitator, uh,an expat, an American guy who

(01:37:08):
was a published author and wrotean amazing book on ayahuasca.
Guy's name was Alan Shoemaker,if anybody wants to look him up,
and he has certain shamans thathe works with and he's lived
there for 30 years and it's alovely guy and and is a, a
practitioner, but also a shamanhimself, and and I, I, you know,

(01:37:28):
I felt safe and and also I meanfor, and I felt safe and also I
mean for me.
I mean, I was with a productionteam, a small production team
for Belgian national TV Right,right so.

Speaker 4 (01:37:42):
I know it sounds funny.
There's other people aroundwatching and you're not just you
alone, by yourself, withwhoever.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
Yeah, no, it was the two of us that were having the
experience, and then the shamanand the facilitator.
Yeah, yeah, right, no, it wasjust, yeah, the two of us that
were having the experience, andthen the shaman and the
facilitator.

Speaker 4 (01:37:57):
Yeah, yeah.
It's like thing about it, yeah,the good thing about it being
getting so much more, um, uh,accepted, well-known, popular,
is that, like you, both Carolinaand seven, said, uh, a lot of
us, a A lot of us, a lot ofpeople have gone and so talk to
people, ask people.
People will tell you, hey,don't do this, go this place, go

(01:38:18):
that place, go with this person.
So anyone listening, yeah, justhave those conversations.

Speaker 5 (01:38:24):
Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.
Well, seven, we are at yourlast song.
No shit, we're here, we are Iknow, we made it Someone's
chronological Almost, almost soclose.

Speaker 3 (01:38:39):
For your last song.
Five out of six ain't bad,that's right, that's right.

Speaker 5 (01:38:49):
For your last song.
What is?

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
a song that you associate with a weighty
transition in your life.
The way to transition was mydivorce and everything that, the
way that it, the way thateverything kind of played out
and the period of time of whenit happened.
It sounds like a movie.

(01:39:13):
It's kind of crazy.
This song, specifically, man.
There were some nights therewhen I was by myself and just
touched God damn, this is tough.
I've never felt so alone.
Billie Eilish is just such anamazing artist.

(01:39:49):
This, this song, specifically,really the lyrics, you know what
I mean those and, and givingexamples of of everything, and
there's some.
It's like it's, it's somethingthat I can relate to because
it's always been.
There's a, there's a theme inthe lyrics to the song.
When people read them, the songis everything I wanted by

(01:40:14):
Billie Eilish.
But there's a theme, though,too, that everything's going too
good and that's when youfucking worry.
You're like hey, man like I'mdoing good Job is good, Career
is good, dogs are good.
You know, the family members Ihave left are healthy, my

(01:40:44):
friends are healthy.
You know life's okay.
And then you start worrying.
Then the anxiety fucking kicksin and you go dude, why is
everything going so well?

Speaker 2 (01:40:51):
The other shoe's going to drop.

Speaker 1 (01:40:52):
I know, know it, I know something's gonna happen,
something bad is gonna happen orI'm gonna, and this is our
subconscious right.
This is when we don't deal with.
The shadow is like wesubconsciously fuck something up
, and burn shit down without ourconscious mind going why did I?

(01:41:12):
why the fuck did I do that?
How did that happen?
And then, and then, then you'reit's like you willed, you
willed it.
And I think that there's a,there's a subtext to this song
that I could definitely periodsof life in my time, periods of
time in my life where I feltthat and so, um, yeah, uh, let's

(01:41:39):
, uh, let's take a listen andwe'll, yeah, let's listen and
I'll talk about the situation,but you can learn to.

Speaker 2 (01:41:53):
Never could change the way that you see yourself.
You wouldn't wonder why theydon't deserve you.
I tried to scream, but my headwas underwater.

Speaker 1 (01:42:25):
Amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:42:26):
Beautiful song.
She's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:42:29):
She's amazing.
If I could change the way yousee yourself, holy shit, you
know she's an amazing lyricistand I could change the way you
see yourself.
Holy shit, you know, um, she'san amazing lyricist, and I mean
her and her brother it's likejust such huge fans of them.
The situation for this song,though, was that, um, I got
married in 2003 and was livingin LA, and it was in opiate for

(01:42:52):
the masses, and when that bandbroke up, my wife and I she was
Swedish and she was a bassplayer in a really successful
all-girl Swedish metal band butwe moved back to we moved to
Stockholm, so I lived inStockholm from from 2009 to 2019

(01:43:17):
.
So I was there 10 years.
Yeah, I was there 10 years, andduring that time, I had done
some hired gun stuff with aBritish artist um, like 2011 and
12, um with a British artistwho was touring in the U S.
We did some stuff.
We did a couple, we did a runwith Alice Cooper and some stuff

(01:43:37):
with, um, yeah, various bands,but anyway, uh, I was also, in
Lee's eyes, the German symphonicmetal band during that time as
well.
Um, but make a long story short, after like 17 years of
marriage, like we had grownapart, we decided well, actually
she decided that we were goingto get divorced and, and, um,

(01:44:01):
through therapy, I've I'vefigured out that you know what I
?
You know there was a lot ofbehaviors and and and just
things that that maybe I hadn'ttaken into account or maybe
hadn't understood how they wereaffecting my life and my and my
family and and everything likethat.
And to this day, we're amazingfriends and and there was no.

(01:44:25):
It's not like fidelity and likeall this stuff.
It was just like we just wokeup one day.
It was just like this hey, youknow what?
We don't have kids, don't havea mortgage.
My dog is Swedish, so Dexter isstill in Sweden.
But I had decided this happenedin November 2019.

(01:44:48):
I had decided that, well, I'm aTexan, I miss home.
I haven't been home since 2002at that point.
So, I mean not home, I mean Ihad been here to visit.
Of course, I had shit, tons offriends.
I've been here on tour, but Ihadn't lived home and I was like

(01:45:10):
you know what, I can do this.
And I did.
I moved home and it was a freshstart, left everything after 10
years and was just like in anempty one-bedroom apartment in
Addison Texas.

(01:45:30):
But with this renewed kind ofyeah, I was sad.
Yeah, I hadn't really dealtwith the gravity of, of the fact
that her and I were togetherfor that fucking long, you know,
together almost 18 years and Iland in Dallas.

(01:45:51):
You know, march 10th, five dayslater, the world shuts down.
So March of 2020, that was amaze balls.
So my, you know, and I, Ididn't have anything here yet.
I hadn't even bought a car.
You know, it's not like moneywas an issue.
I just it takes time.
You have to go to a dealership,you have to do things, you have

(01:46:13):
to lines of credit.
I hadn't lived in the U?
S, so my credit score was, youcould imagine, I hadn't lived in
the U S in 10 years.
I hadn't had a U S credit cardor even a line of credit.
So your credit score, I wasstarting from zero.
So it was, it was insane, itwas, it was pretty fucking crazy
time.
Now let me back up, because Ihad met somebody in December of

(01:46:36):
2019.
And I worked at Hard Rock Cafein Stockholm for almost nine
years when I lived there.
So I would go on tour withChannel Zero or Leaves Eyes or
whoever.
I would come home and I hadthis job and it was cool

(01:47:01):
management team and, um, I wasfinishing out my time there,
planning on moving home, right.
And so this girl comes in witha girl that's one of her best
friends, who's a friend of mine,and I meet this girl.
Like girl, like hey, you justmet me.
Weird time in my life.
I'm going through a divorce,but I think you're great and I'd
love to stay in contact.

(01:47:21):
So first person I fuckingtexted when I landed in Dallas
was her, and so, um, that's justkind of a side story, because
that's who I'm with, that's, Imean, we're partners now but
it's kind of crazy because wespent we?
we spent that first four monthsMarch, april, May, june just

(01:47:49):
getting to know each other onthe phone and on FaceTime and it
was weird.
And it was weird too becausebecause yeah, just getting to
know each other on the phone andon FaceTime Right Because you
couldn't meet.
And it was weird too, because,yeah, that was pretty quick
after a divorce and I didn'tplan it that way.
Hey, I'm just going to jumpfrom one relationship to another
.
I know it looks like that to alot of, especially my friends
and my family Like what the fuckare you doing, dude?

(01:48:09):
You haven't even processed thisthing and you're doing this
thing just shows how life is.
But I knew I kind of had totake stock of a few things, um,
during those early months, marchand april, and stuff, because,
again, you know, trying tofigure out, dude, I just got

(01:48:31):
here, I have a rightpur-Pedicmattress and a fucking 55-inch
LG on my wall.
That's it.
Nothing is open.
Ikea is not open.
I lucked out.
One of my best friends took meto Costco and he has a truck.
I'm like, dude, I need a bedand I need a TV, but during all

(01:48:53):
those hard nights of just beingalone and nobody could go out,
it's not like I could see myfriends.
I mean, after about, afterabout, five, five weeks we did,
though we would go and sitoutside.
You.
We all remember the pandemic,right, right yeah, those initial
nights, man there was there was.
There was plenty, plenty ofnights when I uh, plenty of

(01:49:14):
nights where I would, where Iwould just listen to that record
that this song is on, and thissong really, really did kind of
speak to me and she's an amazingartist.
So everything worked out and Ithink for me the pandemic was a
positive.
And it's weird because I knowit was terrible for the rest of

(01:49:35):
the fucking earth, but for me,like to come home, and I wasn't
just like, okay, I'm going to beback in the bar scene, okay,
I'm going to be, I'm going to betouring again.
Sure, within, uh, I mean, I, we, we had a tour booked in june
and july.
We were, we were doing fest,channel zero.
You know, we had all thesefestivals booked, you know, in

(01:49:55):
in europe and stuff.
So it was like, right, it gaveyou that time it forced
everything to shut down to me towell, and it forced me to be
alone, right which you know whatI mean, like that's part of the
thing with with, with having,you know, diagnosed lifelong
anxious attachment, is that Ijust can't be alone.

(01:50:18):
In my entire life, adult life,just with one relationship after
the other and saying, and youknow what people it probably
looks like that way now as well,and maybe it is but, um, but it
did force me to be alone andkind of take inventory of
everything and and and reflecton the good, the things that

(01:50:38):
were great about, about mymarriage, but also the things
that that I fucked up.
You know, or maybe I didn't seeat the time.
Yeah, absolutely so.
Yeah, billie Eilish, and then,and then we're still good on
time.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
We are, we are.

Speaker 5 (01:51:02):
Raza did you have something before I wrap up?

Speaker 3 (01:51:05):
Yeah, I was just going to say I'm not a
professional from a mentalhealth perspective at all, but
one thing that I keep hearingabout is folks having insight
and seven.
I have to say that I think,just looking back at this you're
looking back at the six songsbut I think this pandemic era,

(01:51:30):
it sounds like you've got, youknow, insight, you've got.
You've got you are able to lookat, you know, detach yourself
from yourself, look at thingsfor what they are, yeah, and
point you know, okay, I, thatwent well, that did not go well,
I fucked up there.
I did okay there and it is whatit is, and I think that I have

(01:51:52):
to just applaud you and commendyou for that, because, because
that's that, that's, it is kindof rare, it's, it's not, it's
not something that is, you know,universal.

Speaker 1 (01:52:05):
So uh, so yeah, Um, yeah, I appreciate that man,
that that that means a lot,because it's it's, it's it, it's
, why are we here?
You know what I mean and I, and, and I finally have some
answers.
You know what I mean, like, andI don't know where they came
from.
It's like why are we here?
I think it's to love and beloved.
That's at brass tacks, bedrock,that's it, yeah and that's and

(01:52:29):
that's friends, family, that ourdogs, that's fellow humans, you
know, whatever it is.
Music obviously plays a part ofthat.
But then there's also someother things that I reflect on
and I go like all this stuff,all this shit that I made it
through, you know what I mean.
There's an old line, I thinkit's from the Industrial

(01:52:51):
Revolution, I think is from theindustrial revolution, and I and
I and I, I, I think of thisline when, when I'm, when I'm
going to make a move, whetherit's, you know, financially,
professionally, whatever it isit's like if, if you don't have
a seat at the table, then you'reon the menu and and and like.

(01:53:12):
When you read it and then yousay it, you're like, you're like
it's true and I'm not going tobe on the fucking menu you know,
like, whatever it is, whetherit's my personal life, my
professional life, my drumminglife, music you know I'm going

(01:53:32):
to have a seat at the table andI'm going to continue to grind,
because that's the only thing Iknow how to do.
Really, you know, I'm going tohave a seat at the table and I'm
going to.

Speaker 2 (01:53:36):
I'm just going to continue to grind because that's
the only thing I know how to do, really, you know.
Yeah, absolutely, I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:53:40):
I'm going to need a minute to process that one that
one's like that's a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:53:45):
There's been a few of these nuggets throughout the
interview that are like.

Speaker 2 (01:53:49):
Jesus write that down .

Speaker 5 (01:53:50):
Yeah, they're like Jesus.
Write that down.

Speaker 2 (01:53:52):
Yeah, write that down .

Speaker 5 (01:53:55):
All right, well, anything else.
You did it.

Speaker 1 (01:53:59):
Anybody else should go listen to Sleep Token.
They're my favorite new bandever.

Speaker 3 (01:54:04):
So go listen to Sleep Token.
They're awesome.
They're ridiculous.
Speaking of someone who likeslyrics Amazing.
Yeah, that's unreal.
I just saw them here in.

Speaker 1 (01:54:11):
Austin.
I just saw them here in austin.
I just saw them here in austin,me and my buddy, joey duane is
um.
You guys might know him.
He was a singer for un, locoand a new revolution, but we've
been lifelong friends but wewent together and we were both
like like teenagers, like rightin front of standing right in
front of front of house 9 000cedar rita and Cedar Park sold
out and the band was perfect.

(01:54:33):
Everything sounded great.
The production was awesome.
That drummer is the drummer isHoly shit.

Speaker 3 (01:54:40):
His snare drum is just yeah, yeah, yeah, his snare
drum.

Speaker 1 (01:54:45):
Everybody should go listen to Take Me Back to Eden
by Sleep Token.
It's the best record of thelast 10 years Bold statement.

Speaker 5 (01:54:52):
I know, but there you go you heard it here so how
does it, how does it feel likehearing your life reflected
through these six songs.
How does that feel?

Speaker 1 (01:55:06):
Feels good, not saying it wasn't hard a couple
of times, but I kind of knewthat going in, we knew, you know
, like I'm like hey, I pickedthese things, they're there,
they're real, you know, yeah,but it's good, it's good to
reflect and it's good to kind ofto take a step back and kind of

(01:55:30):
see things for what they areand and and be okay with that
and be able to sit with that.
You know, and that's anotheryou know, not to keep bringing
it back to therapy, but beingable to sit with anger, being
able to sit with sadness,instead of just always trying to
get out of how you're feeling.
That that is really difficult.

(01:55:53):
But when you do it, like when Ido that now, I'm kind of like
you know that that period passes.
Oh sorry, you guys probablyheard that that's not good.
I didn't mute that but, I didn'thear anything actually we don't

(01:56:13):
hear anything.
You're good okay, um, but whenthat period passes, then you're
like, oh shit, if I could getthat that time worked, then
maybe next time I have this,this intense feeling of anxiety,
and you don't know where it'scoming from and you just go okay

(01:56:34):
, let's do our breathingexercises, let's do, or let's do
, our box breathing, let's,let's, let's like, step outside,
put our feet in the grass for asecond.
There's like like it's toolsright, and I never had tools
like I my whole life, and, andnow it's a lot of its age.
I think too, you know what Imean.

(01:56:56):
Thank god, we're getting old,you know, it's true, it's, it's
like man not everybody gets thechance.
20s were crazy.
Man 30s were crazy.
Everything was kind ofeverything was kind of bananas.
So, yeah, I like stability, Ilike, I like you know, I like
this, yeah, so yeah, absolutely.

(01:57:18):
I appreciate y'all, thank youwisdom with age.
I like that yeah, so how wewrap up?

Speaker 3 (01:57:27):
all right um well, you guys want me to take it?

Speaker 4 (01:57:32):
yeah, go ahead rosa, we gotaza, we got one final
thing before we sign off this isour lightning round.

Speaker 3 (01:57:39):
Oh, I love it, I love it I think I know what it is
too, so yeah, so, just realquick, whatever first comes to
mind.
We want to know what was yourfirst, last and best or favorite
concert experience.

Speaker 1 (01:57:55):
Well, fuck, we already did this because I saw
Sleep Token.
Was that your last?

Speaker 5 (01:58:03):
concert, or was that your best concert?
That was the last arena show.

Speaker 1 (01:58:07):
No, I mean, the last show I saw was Drowning Pool in
Dallas.
They did a benefit for an drugdog rescue up there.
It's a benefit show.
It's like 800 seater intimate.
It's cool.
That was the last show, but thelast arena show before that was
was sleep token.
First show Yep, my first show.

(01:58:29):
This is a testament again to myparents.
Uh, uh, it was 1981, I guess 82, 81.
I have to figure out when thattour was.
But jimmy buffett, somewhereover china, tour nice yeah yeah,

(01:58:51):
my dad was smoking weed thewhole time and I was just like
standing.
I was standing on the chair youknow changes in latitudes
changes.
That was texas yeah that'samazing, and uh yeah, the net
yeah then that same year man.

Speaker 3 (01:59:06):
The same year I saw 38 special support and survivor
whoa that was cool yeah, okay, Ihave a tiger, uh, best concert
man, that's tough.

Speaker 1 (01:59:19):
I don't know if I don't know if I I don't know if
any of y'all have seen the lasttime rammstein played I've never
seen rammstein.

Speaker 4 (01:59:30):
I haven't seen it, but it's on the list because it
just looks like an experienceyou love them, david, it's
amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:59:35):
I mean, arguably I would say that's the best show I
know.
People are like, yeah, u2 isamazing.
I'm like, yeah, u2, schmoo too,you know what I mean.
Like whatever, the RollingStones, good luck.
Good luck on that.
And I know people hate it whenI talk like that, but I'm like

(01:59:58):
dude Rammstein are light yearsahead production-wise,
production value-wise,entertainment-wise, flames just
by every metric.
And they sound perfect too.
That's the thing.
Like everything sounds perfect,everything looks perfect.
It's thing like everythingsounds perfect, everything looks
perfect.
It's like larger than life.

Speaker 4 (02:00:16):
It's like right, the pyro is not just covering up for
music.
Well, here's the kicker.

Speaker 1 (02:00:22):
They only can play stadiums now.
Their production is so big thatthey can only play stadiums.
They're a stadium right like,yeah, they don't even play the
US Because where are they goingto play Giant Stadium, you know
Right.
That's amazing, right, butprobably the best show, dude.
How about this man 2005?

(02:00:45):
Nine Inch Nails at the GreekTheater in LA?
That was amazing.
Love it.
That was amazing.
I'm a huge Nails fan and thatwas amazing.
Love it.
That was amazing.
I'm a huge Nails fan, and thatwas cool.

Speaker 5 (02:00:58):
So, anyway, that's the lightning round yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:01:00):
That's awesome.

Speaker 5 (02:01:03):
Thanks for sharing all that with us.
I think, before David signs usoff, in just the last couple of
minutes we'd love to give youthe floor if you have anything
you want to share with ouraudience of what you got going
on or how they can watch youplay, or just you know anything
you want to share.

Speaker 1 (02:01:16):
So I finally launched a YouTube channel I guess we'll
put the link below, hopefullyin this, in this episode and I'm
trying to be active onInstagram I don't know Kind of a
thing.
Currently, I play drums for theband channel zero with Mikey
Doing, amazing guitar player andone of my best friends.

(02:01:36):
We are playing multiple,multiple festivals in Belgium
and Holland.
This here I leave on Tuesday,this coming Tuesday, this coming

(02:01:57):
tuesday, and uh, so, yeah,channel zero, uh, on youtube and
also on, you know, insta andspotify, apple music, um, and
yeah, that's kind of it.
Go subscribe to my youtubechannel.
I'm posting stuff weekly, um,I'm trying to get better at that
.
You know what I mean, butcreating content is a constant,
it's a constant job.

(02:02:17):
So I appreciate you all.
I can't thank you enough.
This has been very it's beenfun, but also kind of cathartic
and therapeutic, and I thinkthat there's a lot of folks that
are going to get a lot out ofus so to speak.

Speaker 3 (02:02:33):
Yeah, absolutely Thank you.
Yeah, seven thank of us, so tospeak.
Yeah, absolutely Thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:02:36):
Thank you so much for coming on.
Thank you for sharing yourstory being open.
Um, that's, that's huge.
So thank you very much for yourtime All right everybody.
You know what to do, whateverplatform you're on.
If you're watching this onYouTube, like, subscribe all of
that so you get all the newepisodes coming out.

(02:02:56):
Whatever platform you'relistening on, follow, like,
subscribe whatever you need todo so you get future shows.
But thanks for joining us onthis episode of A Life in Six
Songs.
We'll see you next time.
Love y'all.

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Drummer Seven Antonopoulos - Healing Trauma One Song at a Time

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Drummer Seven Antonopoulos - Healing Trauma One Song at a Time