Ep. 5 - Heavy Melodies, Heavier Messages: From Childhood Connections to Mental Health Advocacy - A Life in Six Songs

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, I'm gonna check on David and Raza how you to do
it, you okay man life is hard,it's hard, it's so hard, it's
hard.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Out there man.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Hey everybody, welcome to A Life in Six Songs.
I'm your host, David Reese, andI'm joined by my co-host,
Carolina, who also happens to bemy wife and my childhood friend
, Raza.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Hey, hey.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Hello, for those of you that are new to the podcast,
each week we embark on an epicadventure to find the songs that
are stuck to us like audibletattoos, that tell the story of
who we are and where we've been,to help us figure out where we
want to go.
It's a life story told throughsix songs, so let's go have a
listen together.
Our guest today is Dr TylerCalabrese.

(01:27):
Tyler is a licensedpsychologist involved in a
variety of practices, from VAevaluations to therapy to
psilocybin clinical trials, withmusic being such an integral
part of every facet of his life.
Tyler co-founded and organizesan annual art and mental health
event called Speak your Truth,which seeks to stop the stigma
of mental illness by having avariety of different artists,

(01:51):
including musicians, share theirstruggles with mental illness.
Tyler, welcome to A Life in SixSongs.
Thank you for having me.
This is a real treat.
I've been excited for thissince I first caught Windabit.
Great, yeah, we're happy to haveyou here.
Carolina, take it away.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Sure, super happy to have you, tyler.
Like we're all pumped as weread through your answers to the
questionnaire and looking atthe songs that you picked and
the very personal memories tiedto them.
It was very clear from readingyour answers that music plays a
significant role in your life,and so we'd like to kick things
off with asking you just whatrole music plays in your life.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
Great question.
Well, I think most people wouldsay that music is a big part of
their life or that music is areligion, and for me, I think
that's definitely the case, inthe sense that it's something
that gives me hope and gives mesolace when I need it, gives me

(02:57):
energy.
It's something that I wear inmy sleeve, like people wear
their crosses.
I wear my Raw Brigade shirt and, you know, wear my Colombian
hardcore band and you know, Itithe.
You know, in terms ofsupporting the musicians through
record stores, through directpay for the artists, through

(03:18):
shows, merchandise, and you know, something that you know is
sort of a bridge to when I goother places and connecting with
different cultures.
So, yeah, it's like a religion.
Yeah, don't tell my grandma Isaid that.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Don't tell my grandma .
I said that that's hilarious.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
I'll be sure to email it to her.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
No, but it's it's, it's important and it's key, and
sometimes we attach ourselvesto those things that that
drivers or hold special placesin our lives at fairly young
ages.
So to kick us off, we'll startwith our first song and prompted
question what's a song thatreminds you of your parent or

(04:02):
guardian or foster parent?

Speaker 4 (04:05):
All right, great question, one that I definitely
was trying to answer.
Yeah, rorschach style,projective test style, like kind
of what first came to mind.
Yeah, I had one for my dad aswell Pink Floyd Breathe, but for
my mom was was definitely aWhitney Houston.
I want to dance with somebody,for whatever reason.

(04:28):
I just remember so well, like asa kid, just cruising around
with her in the car and thatwhen Houston early 80s was, you
know, top of the charts, aconstant presence on the pop
radio and she loved Whitney andWhitney was, I don't know
somebody that she kind ofgravitated to, is like, you know

(04:50):
, we got a strong woman and youknow somebody who, you know my
mom had definitely been throughsome challenges and her life as
well, like, like Whitney, hadyou know, different ways of
course, but yeah, that that songkind of stuck with me and we
were just the reason why itreally resonated.

(05:11):
We were at a family wedding inKansas where my, where she grew
up and she was around a lot ofher family and you know she just
was so happy listening to thatsong and you know was dancing
with me and it was crazy.
I just I felt so emotional thatI like was crying on the dance
floor listening to it because itjust made me happy to see her

(05:37):
happy and, like you know that itseemed to bring up, you know,
some good times in her life,some simpler times and, yeah,
good Whitney.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
Let's, let's, take a listen, yeah.

(06:39):
Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
How, how does it feel now listening to it again?

Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, I mean, I'm just like instantly put, put
back there.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, it was a beautiful, itwas a beautiful moment.
Yeah, I didn't know.
I mean Whitney, you know,stayed beyond that.
You know, the bodyguardsoundtrack was like one of her
favorites too and that was likeoh yeah, was just like

(07:09):
everywhere it went, that thingwas blasting.
Yeah, when I was, you know,preparing the songs and stuff
for the, for the podcast.
You know, here in this oneagain, it just wanted just like
rocks.
It's, like you know, instantlyput me in just a good mood in
that way, but very much like yousaid to it, it's, it definitely

(07:31):
just brings you back, like it,you're instantly transported to,
you know, riding in your mom'scar, oh yeah, you know, watching
MTV or something for sure, Bigtime.
And I don't typically gravitateto that type of music.
But I don't know it.
Just it kind of hits for me and, whatever reason, I still

(07:51):
haven't seen the movie.
I mean, I heard it's great.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Whoa.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Well, there's your homework for the weekend.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Bodyguard does not get the credit it deserves.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
Just just saying.
But I'm a movie, the album likethe whole picture.
Yeah, the whole thing yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, the whole.
Thing.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
That was actually.
I wasn't a Whitney fan.
I remember.
I remember the movie that wasactually my first exposure to
Whitney Houston.
I think it was probably like 10or 11 at the time and and and
and and Kevin Costner.
I think that was his next movieafter the Robin Hood movie that

(08:35):
he did.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
It was a complete Friends of these.
Yeah, offer one.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
And I remember watching like the previews and
stuff and just like, wow, it'sthat it's a dude who's playing
Robin Hood in a completelydifferent role, and I remember
they were they were trying to atthe time.
They were trying to makeparallels between Whitney
Houston's character and, I think, where I carry, who was like
the up and coming, you know starat the time.
Whitney was definitely muchmore established at that point

(09:05):
and, yeah, it was a great movie.
You should definitely check itout.
Yeah, got to.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
And I just I heard from someone recently that said
you know, a lot of times whensomeone says they haven't seen a
movie, that like is one.
Everyone said it's like thisthing.
Oh, how can you not?

Speaker 6 (09:21):
Why would you?

Speaker 4 (09:22):
And and the.
This person was saying likeswitch that.
So, rather than make the personfeel bad, be excited for them.
Be like, oh, I'm so excited youget to see it for the first
time again, you know, and havethat first moment.
So yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, I think, yeah, like Carolina said, you got, you
got some homework to do, right,not to turn it, not to turn it
around completely, but you know,fast forward to obviously more
recently, you know, after, afterWhitney passed away.
So, kevin Costner, I think hedelivered either the eulogy or
he made some sort of a memorial,you know, with with her, with

(10:03):
her, with her funeral party, andI remember, I think either
someone who's a bit younger thanme, I remember them just asking
you know why, kevin Costner, ofall people, right, they
obviously hadn't watched themovie, they didn't realize that
there was a connection.
You know, that was the cost ofhis connection to Whitney.
But, yeah, yeah, I think mostpeople think of Kevin Costner as

(10:25):
like the dude from Yellowstone.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
No, he's like no, he's back.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
He was actually the bodyguard, don't give water
world Right.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
He's been training for this.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
It wasn't the whole life, it was the bodyguard yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, no, it's cool though, and I think talking
about how you got emotionalyears later, like at a wedding
so you're much older now at thispoint you know kind of dancing
with your mom at the time.
It's always impressive to mehow songs still like come back
to I don't know, like punch youin the gut in that way and I

(11:02):
joke.
I teach workshops and stuff whenwe talk about kind of relating
back to being a kid and feelingincluded and stuff, and I'll
joke and say like we're all justtaller children, right, we're
still carrying the things andthose like emotions and memories
and attachments to our parentsand things, and so I have to
imagine, even as an adult, likeyou're hearing it and you're in

(11:23):
this really happy moment and itjust like a wave or something
kind of hit and I'm likedefinitely a sentimental crier,
like you know, weddings, like Idon't know.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
I think it's all the like psychology work and all
like the just the tough things Ihear, like that when there's
something positive and sweet, Ilike I don't know, that's how I.
Oh that's interesting yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:48):
I can see that.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Yeah, that's a conversation for another time,
because that happens to me too.
I worked in emergency medicinefor a bit, like I've seen some
stuff, don't cry, but likesomebody, like when the Olympics
or gets a medal or gets likehonored in some way, and I'm
like like I'm a ball of, like amess and it's like a happy thing

(12:09):
, yeah, interesting, yeah.
So I'll move us, I'll fastforward as a head a little bit,
all right.
So I'm just thinking about, youknow, just transitions like
this.
The song you had earlier was achildhood memory, but it sort of
seemed to still hit you inadulthood, even though you're
you are a totally differentplace in your life.

(12:30):
And so this next question kindof you know, addresses those
transitions what's a song thatyou typically associate with a
weighty transition in your life?

Speaker 4 (12:42):
Yeah, and another one of those songs that I was like.
But just so many answers Icould have given for this.
But I'm trying to go projectivepsychology test style and come
with the first thing that cameto mind.
The band called each dual waslike a positive hardcore band.
They did a song called TruthWithin and at the time I was

(13:10):
finishing grad school, finishedmy doctoral program, and wasn't
sure my prospects were going tobe.
My wife was pregnant.
I was very nervous about thatand you know, on paper, you know
I should be be confident, butdefinitely somebody that gets
riddled with self doubt, withanxiety, and I think I was

(13:32):
looking for, you know, somethingto give me some inspiration.
So like going to my scriptures,like going to you know, my
music catalog and I think this Iwant to say the CD like fell
out of a CD case in my car and Iwas like, oh wait, I remember
this song and at the time a lotof the stuff I was listening to
was like more I don't know, likemore party kind of rock and

(13:55):
roll, garage rock stuff, likedidn't have this kind of message
.
And I found this song and itwas just it was so encouraging
for me and like it sounds like alittle bit cheesy and with,
like the lyrics.
I think that this type of musicis about that, about, like,
just trying to, you know, tapinto some inner strength and be

(14:17):
positive and be hopeful.
And did the trick, you know,definitely give me a boost.
Let's take a listen.
We'll talk about it some more.
On the back side Raza Raza wentsomewhere.

(15:02):
Raza was.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
I was like yeah, yeah , like how does it feel?
Listen, but I could not becauseRaza was like in some sort of
zone oh my god, the drummer isridiculous.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
He's amazing.
Yeah, no, tyler, please, youknow, tell us so where does that
song take you?

Speaker 4 (15:23):
yeah, I mean, I remember specifically like when
I, when I popped it in, it waslike after a baby shower and you
know just all the the anxietiesand the worries about
everything swirling around in mymind and I was by myself in the
car and popped it in and youknow, just felt a lot better,

(15:48):
you know, felt a lot more moreconfident and, like you know, to
kick aside all the the negativecognitive distortions that
you're swirling around in mymind and, you know, tap into,
you know, some of the strengths.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
I love that term.
Positive hardcore I mean, I'vedefinitely.
So I'm just to give you alittle bit of background.
I'm sort of like the residentmetal guy on the yeah, I know,
both are and and and, but yeah,but so I definitely have heard
of sort of my share of, you know, hardcore music, punk music.
This is definitely more on themore punky side, but but I

(16:28):
hadn't heard the term hardpositive hardcore before.
So maybe, maybe let's startthere that's obviously it has a
positive message.
But yeah, tell us about that.
What?
How do you define positivehardcore and how should we think
of positive hardcore?

Speaker 4 (16:48):
well, I don't want to be the spokesperson and get a
deluge about the floor is yoursmy friend how do you understand?
yeah, some people would count.
Each duo is like as that typeof band, some people not.
But yeah, when you get in theweeds of the sort of sub genres

(17:12):
of music, yeah, there's a blendof hardcore that's a little bit
about more positivity, that's alittle bit more focused on, you
know, kind of a straight edgelifestyle, animal rights, a kind
of positive, progressive socialchanges.

(17:32):
That's everything in song insong content, typically around
that versus like there's somehardcore that's a little bit
more angry and aggressive andthere's some stuff I listened to
that just sounds like, you know, gangster rap.
Version of the of my mom thegangster rap version of she

(17:54):
knows we were talking aboutright right right, so I guess
that's maybe the simplest way tosum it up yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
I had never heard of it before, so I'll say don't
come after Tyler in the comments, right, right, if anybody does,
they're in the wrong, becausethis is a judgment free podcast.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
That's the whole point.
So, yeah, yeah, no, I thinkthat is going to be very like
informative for for some of thelisteners.
Right, because the whole pointthis is not a positive hardcore
focused podcast or a metalpodcast, right, it's.
It's it's genre non specific,right, and so I think some
people that might not be into,you know, punk and hardcore and

(18:39):
things like that, might thinkthat everyone's just angry, is
all hell and just wants to, youknow, destroy and break down.
That's, of course, out there.
But knowing that this is outthere and and you know, music of
this style can have these,these messages, I think, I think
is really valuable for people,to people to know.

(19:01):
Yeah, yeah, and Toby, who's thelead singer of H2O.
He has a great podcast calledOne Life, one Chance and, yeah,
I think he has like a charitableoutreach arm of that too, where
you know he has people on thepodcast that you know gone
through some challenges, like alot of folks that are in
recovery from addiction ormental health issues to, you

(19:24):
know, put something inspiringout there and, you know, really
sourcing people from the musicindustry in particular.
So he's still doing awesome.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yeah, yeah, that's really cool yeah, yeah, I mean I
go ahead.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I'm just gonna say I've noticed that more and more
especially like with, with aheavier sort of music genres,
genres that you think that aremore aggressive sounding, I
think, to the lay person, butbut obviously to us, more sort
of you know more schooledindividuals who might think that
no, there's actually like areally positive message.

(19:57):
I mean, I can think of everyonefrom, like Gujira recently,
cedar.
Even Metallica has a you knownot-for-profit or nonprofit arm
of their you know behemothorganization.
But but, but a lot of, I'mnoticing that more and more,
that that heavier bands, bandsthat are that people think that

(20:19):
might be more aggressive, they,they are doing a lot of good
work, actual good work, takingaction, getting a good positive
message out there and supportingyou know, multiple variations
of different types of causes.
I mean everything from, likeyou know, mental health issues,
suicide prevention, veteransissues, you know, homelessness

(20:40):
and the Metallica's thefoundation to support music,
music education instruments,feeding the, feeding people that
don't have access to food.
I think that was one of the.
I thought it was amazing.
I mean they pretty much every,every, every one of their tour

(21:00):
stops.
You know they have catering fortheir entire you know crew and
there's always leftovers.
What do you do with theseleftovers?
While you donate them to localorganizations and there's a huge
you know huge impact thatthey're having.
But it's really really good tosee again music that that folks
might not associate withpositivity, doing actual work

(21:22):
toward positive change andsocial justice and things like
that.
So, yeah, big time love that.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, yeah, they're actually backing it up and
they're not just sitting there,they're not just singing about
it, they're actually living itand doing it right.
Yeah, but before we move on, Ican see Carolina, you know, want
to move us along, maybe keep usin check here.
But I do want to say one, oneother thing just about this,

(21:51):
this song and kind of more ofyou know the podcast itself and
you know me, you know startingit and doing it, because you
know that line in here that youmentioned, you know, only afraid
of knowing all the things Icould have done.
You know, as, as someone youknow with PTSD and and you know

(22:14):
has has been on the journey oftrying to heal from, you know
that that that was really likemoving to me.
You know you sort of said theCD fell out and it's sort of
like the CD chose you.
I feel like like that kind ofhit me and chose me too in a way
, and so, yeah, I just want tothank you for being open with it
and sharing it, because it just, you know it really hit me and,

(22:39):
and you know, just made meconnect so much more with it.
So I just want to say thank you, hey my pleasure.
Yeah, that's.
If that's the podcast that isworking totally.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I feel like a lot of times with themes of transitions
and weighty transitions.
Sometimes there's, david, toyour point, that kind of grief
that can come from wonderingwhat could have been, or you
know alternative, you knowfutures that that aren't, and
kind of grieving those moments.
But songs that kind of upliftyou and make you feel like it's

(23:15):
going to be okay.
You know, despite whatever thetransition or what's weighing
heavily on you or decisions youneed to make, like that's always
pretty cool and and I like thatthe CD chose you and that's
pretty awesome and I've learnedsomething new today, because I
did not know about positivehardcore and I'm not the
resident metal hardcore listenerof the three hosts, so I

(23:40):
appreciate the new perspectiveand it teases up for our next
question too, which is prettycool what is a song that opened
up an entirely new perspectivefor you, and how?

Speaker 4 (23:51):
yeah, yeah, another one of these questions that just
so many, so many answers.
I could have gone, but the onethat really jumps out is the
song called resisting tyrannicalgovernment by a band called
propaganda to Canadian punk band.

(24:12):
At the time I was listening tothis freshman year in college
and I don't know how much youguys had this experience of, you
know, kind of being exposed tonew political views and, you
know, just trying to make senseof that from, like you know,
your experiences and your familyorigin, and this was one that

(24:35):
really helped me solidify myworldview and my politics,
because you know progressivepolitics or more so, and I guess
, like, the altruistic elementof you know, the focus on trying
to help others, was somethingthat always really spoke to me

(24:56):
and my parents, who are, like,more on the Republican side,
would have different perspectivein the sense that we help
others, like you know, we donate, we, like you know, are like
very involved in helping out inthe community with their work
and outside of work and in thissense of, well, you know, why

(25:16):
are you complaining about thegovernment?
Why are you complaining about,you know, this capitalist system
that's, you know, provided sowell for, you know, our
hardworking family and for otherhardworking families.
And you know this song.
I don't know if you want tojust queue up the lyrics,

(25:36):
because I just you know, I thinkit made everything quick.
Yeah, yeah, let's take a listenand then we'll talk about it on
the backside.

Speaker 7 (26:03):
I recognize the irony .
The system I oppose, of course,be the luxury A buddy in the
hand that feeds.
That's exactly why privilegesparks like me Should feel
obliged to buy and take it,scream yeah till everyone has

(26:28):
everything they need.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (26:36):
Yeah, like some of the whole smash the state stuff,
like I listen to it now andit's like, oh, like there's
people doing that.
I don't like that's not reallywhat I'm about, like in theory
when.
So like that part.
But you know the element oflike, you know should feel like
to be privileged, but still youknow it be your, your mission,

(27:00):
to like raise a fuss and make astink to help other people who
aren't in that position, thatyou can have it both ways.
You know that you can, you know, be grateful, you know, for the
people who helped you get whereyou are and supported you to
give you a good existence, butalso, you know it's your job to

(27:21):
try to help other people getthere too.
So, yeah, I had to do a like anintrospective paper in my
master's program, a clinicalpsychology program, and it was,
you know right, about lyricsthat impacted you and I just
went on like a two-page tearabout that song and the

(27:42):
professor was, like what is thissong?
Like, how did you hear this?
So, yeah, it's always one ofthese things I like love when an
artist expresses something likeperfectly in like 10 seconds
with like the perfect choice ofwords, I love it.
But it's also frustrating forme at times, because my grad

(28:03):
work was in philosophy andsocial political philosophy and
ethics and things like that, andso they just summed up that
worldview in like 10 seconds andI've written, like you know, 80
page papers and stuff to tryand do it.
You know, people are writingbooks about all of this stuff
and it's like there it is justboom, perfect.
Because it's that thing of likeyou said.
It's not just about like thesort of like, let's just tear

(28:26):
down the state, right, and justwithout much else to it.
It's really getting at thatnuance of like, no like, because
we've achieved something, weare in a position of success or
whatever you want to call it.
That's exactly why, right, weshould be, should be doing this.

(28:49):
So, yeah, I just yeah, love theline.
Yeah, good, I'm glad I resonatedwith you as well.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
I love that you talked about I heard something
about.
I fully understand the irony ofme talking about this stuff as
someone who's probably benefitedfrom it.
But you know, don't take thisas me whining about it.
I'm trying to do somethingabout it.
That was cool too.
It's very self aware.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Yeah, obviously like become more, you know, moderate
in my political views, but youknow, I think that's like where
your early 20s, late teens areall about.
Is, you know, kind of givingthat fire in your belly to, you
know, try to influence you andother parts of your life, like
you know more, I guess,reasonable type of way than

(29:41):
mechanic viruses that destroycapital.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
I think that's part of the journey, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
It's like when you're a teen.
It's like you do have a verysort of limited view of what's
going on.
You might see, you know stuffon the news, you might have
parents that have a differentpolitical view because they've
experienced, you know, the wholejourney, but they might not
have explained it in a certainway, or.
But I think part of the journeyis for teens to have that sort

(30:14):
of fire in their belly,hopefully go to school or learn
about things from a broaderperspective and then maybe, over
the course of a few decades,start to maybe temper those
things and kind of meet folks inthe middle somewhere and
hopefully not become completelypassive and, you know, jaded and

(30:35):
whatnot.
But yeah it's.
I mean, I remember my viewshave definitely changed over the
years and now you know, withkids and everything it's like
you know why that's what I wasgoing to say when you have kids
that provides a whole newperspective.
Exactly yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
I think it's cool that this memory gave you
different perspective.
It was kind of tied to thoselike formative college years
Because it resonated with me.
I think I shared on my podcaston my episode I'm an immigrant.
I didn't become a citizen untilI was like 19.
And I was so excited to vote,like I was so excited once I
became a citizen that like thatwas the thing I could do.

(31:19):
But I had no real education inmy house about American politics
.
You know, it took a while formy family to become citizens and
they didn't really vote.
You know things like that.
So I learned from my politicalscience class and, like my
freshman year and I had, like Iremember there was a page that
had like a list of likeRepublicans feel this and like

(31:39):
Democrats feel this and I waslike huh, you know, I guess I
got to choose one of these.
and the Republican side was kindof like you know, like you know
, pick yourself up by ourbootstraps and hard work, and
like accountability and stuff,and I was like what feels
responsible, like I'm aRepublican right.

(32:00):
And I voted.
I think I graduated fromcollege, voted Bush the first
time.
And then I think life said,hold my beer, let me teach you
some things.
And then I was completelyswitched parties.
But like, yeah, your, your viewchanges so much from just such
a young like you know.
You're so young in college,really done a ton yet, seen a

(32:23):
ton yet.
So I wish maybe I would havebeen exposed to more music and
less polycyte.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
I don't know, like that, maybe talk to me more
Digestical right, literally itwas like.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
it was like a table with like pros, cons and options
, and I was like that feelsright.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
Yeah, like choosing your, choosing your elective in
school.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
So, more education made you vote more conservative.
That's interesting, yeah, orconservative quote unquote yeah,
it was business schooleducation.
Oh, of course for what it'sworth.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Capitalism.
Yeah Right, I don't want to saymy finances, finance professor,
ran like a hedge fund orsomething like this was the
table was skewed like clearlyyou know kind of thing, and then
you like go out into the realworld and see how things really
shake out, right, yeah yeah,health insurance costs money, oh

(33:21):
crap.
What the hell happened to mypaycheck?

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
Well, and I give a propaganda credit because I mean
in the 90s which the punk was,you know it wasn't a lot of, it
wasn't all that political.
Beyond the bigger indie labelsand their album like just had a
lot of like poignant stuff thatyou know I think was ahead of

(33:49):
its time in terms of criticismsof globalization and animal
rights and, you know, kind ofawareness around like like
homosexuality and abuse, likejust stuff that now I mean
people are just sort of exceptand are talking about that.
The time was just so you know.

(34:10):
So out there Right Like sofringe.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
So Right, and a common refrain back then was
like no, no talk about politicsat the dinner table, right.
It was like like we just don't,you know, discuss that stuff.

Speaker 8 (34:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
How, how times have have changed.
Unless you know, in your houseyou're still not talking about
it.
But.
But I think it's cool and Ithink the more you're exposed to
things you realize it is sortof the artists out in the world
kind of, you know, pushing thatenvelope and challenging society
to do better.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
You know, yeah, yeah, and such an important role for
society, right, the artists,right, people that I was going
to say are free from some ofthese things, but you know we're
all underneath it, but their,their, their chosen path gives
them the freedom to, to expressthese thoughts and connect with

(35:08):
us.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
So, yeah, To quote it again to wine, kick and scream
till everyone has what they need, which is super cool.
That was the other reason Ilaughed and I said that was
awesome.
When I teach workshops aboutdiversity, equity and inclusion,
we talk about privilege a lot,because it's it's a must and
necessity and I was likechuckling at like maybe I should
just play the song.

(35:28):
I feel like this is what youneed to do your privilege.
I was like this is so cool.

Speaker 4 (35:34):
Oh, that would be epic Once.
If you end up getting anotherjob, your last workshop like
when you're up in New Yorktalking to the hedge funds and
stuff and talking aboutdiversity just pop this song on
and just see what happens.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Yeah, I'll just run the lyrics up the thing and then
the Delos court me out withsecurity and that'll be it Right
.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
That'll be it.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
All right, Moving us ahead from like idealistic,
inspiring, really cool socialprogress and and those things
there's.
There's sometimes another sideto music.
Sometimes there are challengingor difficult memory songs we
struggle to listen to or getthrough, and so I'll pivot us a

(36:15):
little bit and ask you about asong that you struggle to listen
to or need to even sometimesturn off because it's just a lot
.

Speaker 4 (36:23):
Yeah, yeah, as I've said with the prior three songs,
like you know, just so manyones that that come up.
The song somewhere out therefrom an American tale, I don't
know who the artist was andthey're like it was like people
of Bryson or somebody did theLuther Van Joss maybe did like

(36:47):
the studio version of it.
But and Linda, Ronstadt did thestudio one.
I want to say, yeah, certainlycorrect.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
We looked it up, that was not sitting in there.
No, no, no no, that was fromgetting preparing for the show.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
I did not just know that off the top of my head.
By any means, yeah, keep themon.
I was scared.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Totally just throw them under.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
Yeah, I guess at around that time was maybe not
too long before there my familyhad moved from living with my
mom's parents and living aroundthem in Kansas.
I was very close, very attachedto them growing up and we moved

(37:33):
to Pittsburgh and I just Imissed them terribly and went
and saw American Tale with mymom and the theater in Squill
Hill, and I mean the movie, Imean it's just about him being
separated from his family andsomewhere out there, like I was

(37:56):
just you know five year old boycrying in Pittsburgh, like
that's not a good look in themovie theaters but yeah, like
one of those that still gets me.
Let's take a listen.
Everybody get your tissuesready.
You can take your earphones outif you want.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
There's someone up over there, honduras, here we go
, we're going down.

(38:45):
Now Somewhere out there Someonesinging a prayer that will find
one another In a big somewhereout there, how you doing.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
Got caught me off guard.
I guess I don't know how longit's been since I've listened to
that.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Guess that's why yeah , I'll give you a minute for
folks who are not familiar withwith the movie.
It was Animated.
I don't even know if it'sDisney, but an animated feature
came out in the 80s, mid 80s,and it's about this little mouse
and his family, and they areemigrating from Russia to the

(39:45):
United States and Somewherealong the way they get separated
, and so this little Kid, thelittle baby mouse, needs to, you
know, find a way to reunitewith his family.
And it's like heart-wrenchingright, it's an immigrant story,
it's a tale, and we wanted tomake sure to not give the radio
Studio version but the movieversion because it's a child

(40:08):
singing, like I was tellingDavid Think frozen and other
movies.
It's adult cast members singingas their child Characters are.
But this you can tell by theway this little kids voice
cracks.
It's child singing, yeah, solike yeah, rough.

Speaker 4 (40:29):
Yeah, yeah and um, I, I, yeah, I love my grandparents
a lot and you know I, theystill live in Kansas and you
know I see him, you know, acouple times a year and like
it's still, when I, when I leavehim, I, I, I get emotional and
I, you know, I tell my kids likehey, like it's alright, you

(40:53):
know, and when they you know mykids, sometimes, when they leave
my parents after they've beenwhat you know, they get sad and
emotional and like, yeah, I Knowhow you feel.
You know, like, just, you knowthat, like, growing up, you know
in the 80s, in Pittsburgh, youknow, show an emotion.

(41:16):
You know sadness, we're notcrying after.
You know, losing football game,that's, that's okay.
You know it's not a Not a okaything, do you know?
Be a few word.
But you, you know men stillfeel emotion.

(41:36):
You know, usually it getstransferred into anger and this
way less healthy.
So I feel like nowadays thetide is turning and you know men
can talk about Emotion and beemotional in a safe space, like
you know, in a more acceptableWay, because I think people just

(41:58):
saw that it was, it wasunhealthy, you know, just sort
of stuffed down, you know allthe Negative emotion and only
show anger.
Yeah yeah, absolutely yeah.
This was another one.
I hadn't heard this song since,probably like when I was single

(42:18):
, single digits in age, and so,you know, just again, in this
way of you know kind of theuniverse given you what you need
or whatever, something likethat when I heard this, yeah,
just I, just like you,immediately started Balling.
I was, I was able to keep ittogether now because I've
listened to it a number of times.

(42:40):
So over the last couple dayspreparing for the podcast, but
no, the first few times it wasjust like people talk about
Bambi as the movie that gets uplike no, to me it's American
tale.
I remember watching it and justbeing like wrecked by it.
You're just like you know somuch and and I share that again
to say, like you know, I've beenon this you know healing

(43:03):
journey the past few years of oftrying to, you know heal from,
you know PTSD and like you weresaying about men and whatnot,
for for 15 years I, you know,realized I wasn't really feeling
emotion.
I think I had cried maybe two orthree times in the time in like
15 years and at weird times youlike, when my dad passed away,

(43:27):
didn't cry, you know, just likeit just wasn't there.
And now I've been gettingbetter.
I'm like all the time and stuffand and it's it's tough because
it's like it's that thing, like, like you said you, you, you
want to hold it in, becauseyou're like no, I got to keep it
together, got to hold it on,gotta, you know, suck it up,
don't be a pussy.
And you know, you know, youknow, gotta, gotta, do it.

(43:49):
And so you got that thing whereit's like, oh, I don't want to
do this, but then it like italso feels.
So good to like, feel, andyou're like this is reminded of
that Seinfeld episode where it'slike what's this salty
discharge, yeah, yeah.
So again, again, that is justto say thank you for another
good song that that I connectedwith.

(44:11):
So, yeah, well, thanks for youknow giving me some solidarity
there.
Totally, I was right there withyou.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
What?
Why do you guys think that isthe Men crying, men showing
emotion, things like that?
I mean, I'm a man I'm justasking because I cry all the
time on the dime, but but I'mreally curious as far as you
guys think that it's like, is it?

(44:44):
Is it?
Is it a cultural Thing?
Are we are weeks?
Are we, are we noticing sort oflike a cultural shift and maybe
recognition about, you know,male emotions and how, obviously
we know that, not not showingemotion, if you're holding stuff
in at some point it's gonnablow up in some way it has to
come out.
But I think I'm really curiousand maybe, tyler, you might be a

(45:07):
good Person to explain thatfrom a professional standpoint
but is there just, is it justlike, the recognition of that?
Is that just we're?
We're talking more and moreabout it?
Is it just like, is it justbecause it's high time?
Do we have?

(45:29):
Obviously, you know we've like,as in America, men have been
through a lot, you know,especially vets, veterans.
You know, wars definitelychange things to have a
generational impact.
We know that.
But yeah, I'm curious what?
What are your thoughts on that?
Why, why is it that we have abetter understanding and
recognition of it now and youknow how do we navigate that

(45:51):
moving forward.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
Yeah, Great question.
I mean I think it's probably aConfluence of different factors.
I mean, I think, for one,mental health awareness has just
Gotten so much more prolific.
You know it's, it's everywherenow and you know we're talking
about podcasts.

(46:13):
Like how many in the podcast Ilisten to or sponsored by better
help, and it's, you know, mensay no, just very blibbly, I do
therapy and help me, blah, blah,blah, figure some stuff out.
I mean, I think that has a lotto do with it and I mean I think
people realizing you knowthere's this, you know
conversation around toxicmasculinity and I mean I think

(46:36):
that's a loaded term, but Ithink there's, you know there's
a lot of, there's elements oftruth behind that of, like, you
know, men just kind of stuffingdown there.
They're emotions and not havinghealthy ways to deal with
emotions and that leading toanger and acting out substance
use and All kind of terriblestuff.

(46:57):
That like the suicide rate, forfor men, you know, especially
middle-aged men, it's like thehighest of Like any, any groups,
right, I don't know the numbersI should, but yes, again,
probably probably a number ofdifferent things.
I think there's somecommunities that still, you know

(47:18):
, have that stigma more thanothers.
There was a rapper that put,that did speaker truth this this
year, named Stan Kells, and hedid a song called war cry about
like more so in the blackcommunity, about like this, this
very issue of, like you know,stuffing down Emotions and then
you know kind of coming out andunhealthy Ways like.

(47:41):
So I got put a plug in for StanKells and you know check out his
stuff on YouTube and Instagrambecause, I mean, this song was
just, I think, captured that insuch a good way.
You know, I'm just like, for me, as a psychologist working with
you know people from differentbackgrounds.
Yeah, yeah, there's definitely,you know, some cultures that

(48:03):
you know still battling thatharder than others.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Yeah, what's what's been cool to see and promising
and hopeful for me.
As you know, now somebody olderwho's got kids and my friends
have kids and Is is watching my,my Friends, become fathers and
the kinds of fathers that theyare like.

(48:29):
I think this generation growingup now in spaces where they're
encouraged to feel all thefeelings and it's okay to miss
and grieve and cry and havehealthy outlets, makes me super
hopeful, because that was notthe case you know I'll just
speak for my household, but itwasn't the case growing up and

(48:51):
so to see like just the break inin generational Curses and
challenges is super cool to see.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
Yeah, yeah, just going.
You know, I appreciate, tyler,you bringing up, you know toxic
masculinity and these terms,because it's, it's.
You know there's amisconception I think out there
about people hear toxicmasculinity and they take it as
Describing men as toxic, right?
Right like that's that's whatmen are toxic, and it's like no,

(49:22):
there's all kinds ofmasculinities out there and the
toxic one is one kind and it's abad one because of everything
you described.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah, I justreally, yeah, I appreciate that,
and so, yeah, cool.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
So that was the struggle, obviously, and hard to
listen to, but there are songsthat sometimes help pull us out
of difficult times andsituations.
Right, they give us hope, theylift us up, so we'll transition
to that.
What's a song, tyler, that'shelped you through a difficult
time or situation?

Speaker 4 (50:03):
Yeah, just skip the preamble.
Ronnie's song by Tim Berry wasdefinitely one of those that got
me through a tough time.
Tim Berry was his lead singer,a punk band called A Vale, and I
just caught wind that he wasdoing this more like folk,

(50:26):
americana, country-ish type ofstuff Not really anything that
I'd listened to.
I usually avoided that stuffbut I was like, okay, let me
check out what he's got.
And it was just the most raw,gut-ranging songs that were, I
mean, just like a punch in thegut.

(50:48):
And one of the songs wasRonnie's song was about losing a
friend to suicide and it wasabout just things that he didn't
like.
That was going on as hometownand just trying to make sense of
that.
At the time I was listening tothat I was just finally getting

(51:13):
my head above water after Ifinished up grad school and
getting licensed and having kids.
During that time I had a lot oflosses with people at opioids,
family members, and one of mybest friends from growing up
died.
Like one of my last years ofgrad school and I don't think I

(51:36):
had time to really process thatbecause I was just having my
head down.
I was just grinding constantlyand that was like this
confluence of times again whereI could kind of come up for air
and wasn't extremely stressedand overwhelmed, and then,
listening to this music, it justgot me very emotional and kind

(52:00):
of made me want to do somethingwith that pain and kind of drove
me to try to find somehealthier ways, to want to get
back or maybe do somethingpositive and just out of all the
hurt that I saw with people inmy sphere who were affected by

(52:25):
mental health and addiction.
And it wasn't too long afterthat that I joined NAMI National
Alliance on Mental Illness andwas on their board of directors
and kind of doing stuff outsidethe office to try to make some
bigger change around mentalhealth awareness and then Speak
of Truth kind of evolved fromthat.

(52:45):
So, yeah, and the song was justagain like the album is so, so
powerful.
And I wrote to Tim Berry and Iwas like oh my God, this was so
good, thank you for writing this.
And he wrote back a verygracious response and like I
mean, what good fan service.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Oh, that's cool, yeah , so.

Speaker 4 (53:08):
Well, let's take a listen, yeah.

Speaker 6 (53:14):
Still, I walk this town hoping to get lost somehow,
it seems.
By now, though, I've smoothedthe path.
In every sidewalk it's allpainted black and gold, black
tar.
Where one stood, homes Gold inthe hand of these student based

(53:42):
franchise, and I sat at theriver with Ronnie, watching the
cormorants and the offspringdiving for their prey.
He asked about old friends.

(54:03):
I said I ain't seen none ofthem.
He said how'd you get here, man, and why'd you stay?
Come on, brother, let's make alist of all those gone that we
still miss.
Let's make a list of what theybelieved and we still do, like

(54:31):
living first and working lastand beating the day before it's
past, like what's mine is yours,man, and what's yours is mine.
I think I'll stay here, gettingolder and angrier and getting

(54:54):
louder With each passing day,and think about old friends and
all that I have learned fromthem.
They may have moved on, man,but we'll all be gone someday.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
How's it feel listening to it now?

Speaker 4 (55:25):
Good, yeah, I mean, takes me right back.
Yeah, and again, nothing elsein my music catalog was anything
near that at that point.
Sure, punk, metal, hip hop,reggae, not a sad folk country

(55:47):
song, yeah, I think.
Just a powerful emotion andjust with the lyrics, sort of
summing up these experiences not100%, but the essence of it, of
missing friends, of feelingdisappointed with what's going

(56:11):
on in your hometown and wantingto stay and feeling guilty for
leaving, but probably betterthat you aren't around.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
I'm going to check on David and Raza.
How are you two doing?
You okay.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
Man life is hard Life is hard, it's hard.
It's so hard.
It's hard out there, man, yeah,especially what the music does.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
It lets us know we're not alone in that right.
I mean, that's about all we cando is like not be alone.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
I think we've all done a lot of moving around,
leaving people behind, leavingplaces behind, struggled.
Hopefully, are at least on thepath to something better,
something that makes adifference with ourselves and

(57:06):
the people around us.
But yeah, shit's hard man.
Yeah, yeah, Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (57:14):
Raza.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
I was just going to say that and then I think we
just got done talking about thewhole male angle of it.
And yeah, I'd be lying if Isaid that as a father, as a man,
you don't feel certainobligations that I'm not going
to say that are above and beyond, but I certainly grew up in
more of a traditional householdand there's definitely roles and

(57:43):
pressures and things like thatthat are specific to being a dad
and having thoseresponsibilities and those
obligations not to take anythingaway from the better halves in
our lives.
But yeah, there's definitely atleast 50% of the struggle.
So I'd like to take a minute toacknowledge the 50%, that's all

(58:07):
.
But yeah, no, I like that song.
It's good.
Yeah, it was beautiful.

Speaker 4 (58:16):
Yeah, yeah, I usually try and do about 30 seconds to
a minute of a song and this oneI was just like no, you know
what, it's my damn podcast.
I'm going to play more becauseit's that good.
There was just points that I'mlike I don't want to cut that
line out.
I don't want to cut that oneout.
So that's what we're going with, but, yeah, this is one I

(58:41):
didn't know about before.
So just in starting thispodcast, I was like, yeah, I'm
probably going to get exposed tosome new music and stuff and
it's been happening, and just inthe most wonderful ways
possible.
Because this song was just Ifeel like I said this after
every one of your songs of likethank you for giving me this

(59:02):
song, but this is another one.
That's been that way Becausejust some of the lines in there,
just you know, of like tryingto like, try I forget the exact
line, but he's like I'm tryingto find a sidewalk.
I haven't worn down in thistown and I can't, because you
know I've walked everywhere andjust that I want to get away
from all of these things, butdon't, and just you know, like

(59:23):
Raza said, you know life is hardand so, like just hearing it,
it was, it was yeah yeah reallygood, really great song Thanks.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Yeah, I could feel it got you, because you normally,
like you said, it is 30 secondsand, for those listening just
the audio and not watching theYouTube version of the podcast,
david's got his eyes closed andhe's I'm like, oh, we're just
going to keep going, like we'rejust in like a deep trance of
this song, which is pretty cooland, tyler, I love that.

(59:54):
Something really awesome andbeautiful came out of your
experience with this song willqueue up your, your last, your
sixth song, but it does tie toyour organization and we 100%
want to learn more, so I'll tiethat up first and then, and then
we'll talk about it on theother side.
But what's what's been yourmost moving live music

(01:00:16):
experience?

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
Yeah, probably, yeah, I guess what's what's fresh in
my mind is it was speaking truthBecause you know, we that was
just in in July and the musicwas, was a big part of that and
I usually have some sense oflike what people are going to do
, what people are going toperform, you know, as artists,
that kind of familiar with theirwork.

(01:00:41):
And one of the, the gals thatinvited her name was Carly
Winter, and I saw her.
She was doing a music event forthis project called Hi, how Are
you?
It's kind of to honor thememory of Daniel Johnston, who
was a famous musician withbipolar disorder.

(01:01:01):
So she was performing somecover songs for him.
But so I knew she was like kindof aligned mental health wise,
but that was about it, and Iknew that she'd be an advocate
and like say some kind of wordsabout mental health.
But she gets up there and thiswas kind of later in the evening
and she said, well, I was goingto do this upbeat song but I

(01:01:24):
heard everybody else kind of,you know, being open and being
vulnerable.
It made me want to do thisheartfelt song called called
Chemicals.
And you know I won't get intoher story, but she was open
about, like just some, you know,some really challenging parts
in her life and didn't realizethat she was in high school and

(01:01:46):
you know, just had this, youknow this pretty, pretty awful
experience in school.
So you know she was, you know,very emotional and vulnerable
and the whole crowd just likepretty much burst, burst into
tears and I think because itjust resonated with everybody to

(01:02:06):
a certain extent about you knowthat those tough times in high
school and can relate in someway, shape or form.
And her song just knockedeverybody's socks off.
It was so beautiful.
I was one of the masses thatwas emotional from that one.

(01:02:27):
Yeah, and I don't know if you'reable to pull up that song,
because it's probably not reallyeven released or recorded.
Yeah, because she's, you know,new and exploding.
Yeah, it was tough to find somestuff, but there was some
things, and I found a song thatkind of has the same kind of
feel to it.
So what we're going to listento is her song Drug Dealers

(01:02:49):
Daughter, which very much goesalong with that same feel and
very much of Speaker Truth Cool.
So let's take a listen.

Speaker 8 (01:02:57):
And I know that.
Don't ask me where my littlegirl go, because, mama, I've
been right here and you stilldon't seem to know.
I won't ask you how you affordto put a roof over my head,
because it's almost 4 AM.
You could be home, but I'm herealone.

(01:03:20):
Instead, the priest can't blessyour heart with you Deny the
holy water.
Will I always be?
Will I always be the drugdealer's daughter?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Will I always be the drugdealer's daughter, oh, oh.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
Thanks, I hadn't heard that song and I don't know
if that's autobiographical Idon't necessarily think so but I
think she's a great storyteller.
The chemical certainly was moreautobiographical.
Yeah, it was one of those thatsomeone threw up.

(01:04:10):
There was like an A&R personhere.
She would be like, just like,and was like well, where were
you when you first saw CarlyWinner?
Her?
former mate.
That's right.
I was right there, yeah.
Yeah, so, so, yeah, so that wasdefinitely a very moving one
because it definitely caught meoff guard.

(01:04:31):
I was expecting a little likekind of cheery pop tune and yeah
, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
I feel like there's a thread with your songs that you
picked, and it's, I feel like,less the melody or the
instruments and the music andmore about, like, the
songwriting aspect.

Speaker 4 (01:04:55):
Probably.
Yeah, yeah, because I'm not amusician by any means.
Like so, like when you guys aretalking about like drum lead,
it's like way over my head butyou know, not necessarily a
writer either, but I'm apsychologist and you know a man
of words.
So I think, yeah, that theemotional content probably you

(01:05:18):
know, really resonated.
And, mind you, there's a lot ofmusic I listen to where you
cannot hear vocals at all.
It's like you know CookieMonster or Dog Markings, but you
know, some vocals don't alwaysmake a difference, but yeah,
yeah I would say the ones thatlike really get to me, probably,
you know, the lyrically heavyones, yeah, Well, these are all

(01:05:42):
heavy too, just in a differentway.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
Right Ravi's subject matter.
You're right, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:05:49):
Gotta go listen to some trouble corpse after this
to relax.
Yeah, that was on the jams lastnight.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
Oh my goodness, sorry , david Go.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Just ask a question real quick.
Yeah, so you mentioned hearingthis live at your at the, at the
festival.
Do you want to do you want tomaybe talk more about that?
Maybe sort of premise behind itand you know, for the audience
and for and for the co-hosts?

Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
Yeah, yeah, sure, I'd love to.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
So you know, as a good promoter I'm wearing my
speaker shirt Love it, love it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:32):
Yeah.
So in 2017, my colleague, david, and I were we're on the board
of directors with with NAMI, theNational Alliance on Mental
Illness, and we were tasked withmaking a some sort of
fundraiser.
And then somebody said we wantyou to do a 5k.
You know those are popular,those raise a lot of money and
we were both not real hyped onthat.

(01:06:54):
We kind of felt like that wastoo devoid from the message and
both kind of went off andbrainstormed and both kind of
had this idea about an art andmental health event and at the
time people thought it was, youknow, kind of a harebrained idea
and just like how was thatgoing to work?
And somehow it did.

(01:07:16):
You know, we just along the waywere meeting people that were
kind of tuned into this.
One of the co-hosts, one of theco-organizers, malcolm, just as
a genius child he's a, an MC anda producer and like post a big,
open mic, recurring event inAnnapolis.
You know he had been his family, had been friends, had been

(01:07:37):
affected by mental illness, sohe just, you know, was quick to
jump on it as well.
And you know the arts communityin Annapolis is extremely
supportive and close and goesbad for each other.
And I was just lucky to bedoing it in a town like that
where you know just thecooperation in the buying from

(01:07:59):
folks really helped it.
You know grow bigger and biggerevery year.
So you know we had, I don'tknow maybe like 40 different
speakers this year.
So yeah, it was yeah, and youknow people just are encouraged

(01:08:20):
by or feel inspired by comingand like give us a lot of good
feedback so it just makes uswant to do it year after year,
appreciate, it.
I have an opportunity to youknow, plug a little bit yeah
totally yeah.
Yeah, we'll link it down in theshow notes and stuff too, so
people can find the info aboutit, right?

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
Hairbrain idea one naysayers zero Right.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Take that 5k.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
That's right, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
That's awesome, no that's such a fantastic idea,
you know, engaging people,having artists come in, and I
mean, just like your t-shirtsays, speak your truth.
And yeah, no, fantastic idea.
Yeah, I'd like to supporthairbrained ideas more than you

(01:09:14):
do.
The audience.
I think someone called theiPhone a hairbrained idea to do
it someplace.

Speaker 4 (01:09:20):
Early adopters yeah.
No one's going to do thisinternet thing.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:28):
Tyler, is it just music artists or spoken word or
visual artists?
Is it like an array ofdifferent artists at the event?

Speaker 4 (01:09:36):
It's a big tent, you know.
We would say speakers inquotations, so anywhere from you
know, visual artists to poets,musicians, of course, comics we
had a burlesque dancer for thefirst time this year and I was
like how that was going to work.
And it was.
It worked perfectly.

(01:09:57):
I mean, she was in tears at theend of it, wow, and it was just
a gas like it was somethingthat she said was kind of done
to sort of transcend some traumathat she'd been through.
So it just it stuns me everyyear to see how people kind of
use their art and creativity to,you know, I guess, raise

(01:10:19):
awareness to either just getthrough it to connect with other
people.
So I love this passion project.
How do people find out about it,or how do you like, do people
apply to be part of it and doyou like review, or is it?
Is it more like I don't know ifit was said before like open
mic where it's just anyone walksup or you know so?
I usually just pester anybodythat I have an inkling, that's

(01:10:41):
an artist that.
I was on vacation with myfamily and there was a standup
comic that people was talkingabout mental illness and I was
just like yelp hounding himabout doing it.
His name is Graham Kay and hehas some really good stuff about
autism awareness, so I'm hopingto pull him in on it.
So, yes, it's usually just meand my you know my colleagues as

(01:11:03):
well just pestering people tobe part of it.
As the post of a new podcast.
I totally get what you'resaying of trying to track people
.
We have in person, but then we,you know, have folks that can't
be there in person.
Submit videos.
We have like a curated video ofclips.
So yeah, if you know anybody,send them my way.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
Yeah, we'll do.

Speaker 4 (01:11:24):
So, anybody listening .
Go do it.
Go speak your truth, Cool.
Like it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
All right, Tyler, we have gone through your six songs
.
How does it, how does it feelto hear your life reflected in
six songs?

Speaker 4 (01:11:43):
Um, this was great.
This was a lot of fun.
Um, you know, I wanted to sharethis with so many people and I
did, like you know, some of thequestions.
So I think it's just such greatconversation starters and there
were some kind of illuminatingthings that came out of these
questions, these questions withother people.

(01:12:05):
So, um, I really love what youguys are doing and, um, really
honored to you know, for this tobe my first podcast experience.
Awesome.
Nice.
You did a great job.
Thanks, thank you, yeah, Um, inyour preparation and in your
just openness and vulnerability,because it's, you know, when I,

(01:12:26):
when I got the idea to do this,you know it was, it was this
you know very much this sort ofyou know very much, this sort of
next step of like so many ofthe songs we talked about, of
like, you know, I don't want to,you know, think about all the
things I could have done, and soit was like, no, let's, let's
do this, let's, you know, I wantto have these conversations.
It's, you know, connect,reconnect with people and things

(01:12:48):
like that.
And so I just thoroughlyenjoyed this.
These these hour or two of just, you know, talking to you and
being here is is is just themost present I I have felt in a
while and stuff, and so it'sjust really great to just have
these conversations and justconnect with this music.
And, yeah, thank you so much.

(01:13:11):
What we three did a great job ofjust making this whole thing
feel, feel comfortable, and tokind of get me into places to be
vulnerable, which is not alwayseasy to do.
Sure, yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:13:28):
Right, we're not ready to go yet.
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:13:32):
We have our.
We have our lightning round.

Speaker 1 (01:13:35):
And it's just first concert, last concert, best
concert.

Speaker 4 (01:13:38):
Okay, go.
So first concert, I'll applaudthe 1995.
That was the first one thatkind of like I'm focused, rated
myself to get to and go and itwas a tremendous concert.
You know Paul was the, you knowit was the, the main attraction
.
Yeah, yeah, just being 13 yearsold and being exposed to

(01:14:01):
everything that Lollipalooza hadto offer Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
They're going home, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:14:07):
I met Moby and he performed sweet home, alabama
and I got a autograph from mycousin who, you know, love Moby.
So you know she's older cousins.
Cool, cousin Nice, he's thebest concert.
Yeah, probably that one too, Imean, I mean I think, just like
I've been to other, there's somany good, good concerts, big

(01:14:29):
and small, but that was, um,yeah, that that one, I think,
just making the biggest mark,yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
It's hard.

Speaker 4 (01:14:39):
It's hard to come after that, yeah For sure that's
great, cause so many people'sfirst time is not their best, so
there you go, yeah.
I'm sure I got dragged.
I got, I got dragged along to,you know, other music events
that I didn't necessarily wantto go to, but that was the first
that I sort of lose my brain,child Right.
Last concert was, uh, twoFridays ago at a little venue

(01:15:04):
called the depot in Baltimore.
Shout out to the depot, Um, butcool, uh, cool little kind of
dive bar metal metal venue.
Um, I just I happened to likehead run my office in Baltimore
and like caught wind that therewas going to be a show there and
, um, you know, saw like threereally good kind of thrash metal

(01:15:24):
bands, like in this tiny littleplace the size of this kitchen
and had a blast.

Speaker 8 (01:15:28):
It was 10 bucks and you know yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:15:33):
And I mean, you know, got to vibe with the bands
afterwards and stuff like that.
So I love like a dirty, dingylittle metal show.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
I love the fact that they're coming back because you
know, during pandemic everythingwas shut down and and and then
now you know the things haveobviously opened up, festivals
are back.
But I think the best thingabout about everything coming
back is these little, yeah, divebar type tight, you know you
can smell like the wood and therust and the sweat and

(01:16:02):
everything You're not getting,six feet away from everybody.
Yeah places.

Speaker 3 (01:16:07):
No yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:16:08):
Those days are gone and that was the first yeah.
And that was the first, likethat venue was the first indoor
show I'd been to post COVID, sothat was, like you know, the
kind of special place in myheart too.
It was another one seeing youknow good little local metal
bands put on a fun show yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:31):
Yeah, here's to the little dive bars.
We need them yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:16:35):
I think that's a good sense, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
All right, tyler.
So as we prepare to sign offfrom from our time together
today, in the last coupleminutes we have left, we'd love
for us to hear, and our audienceto hear Tell us what you've got
going on, how people can get incontact with you if they're
interested in speak your truthor or just you know, connecting
with you and getting to know youwhat you got going on.

Speaker 4 (01:16:58):
Sure yeah.
So again, main reason I'm hereplug in, speak the truth.
You know already.
You know making mentalpreparations for for next July.
If you found Instagram, it'sspeak your truth.
Crew Crew C-R-E-W.
C-R-E-W.

(01:17:18):
I don't know how my Pittsburghease made that that sound.
Yeah, C-R-E-W, but yeah, andthe.
I don't have great SEO withwith the, the website, but I'm
sure you can Google it.
Speak your truth, Annapolis,there's a lot of content on
YouTube as well.
Yeah, Check it out.

(01:17:41):
So let's know if you want to bea part of it.
For everybody listening.
We'll have all that in the shownotes, so check them out.
Thank you, Because again notgood SEO with it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:54):
Damn algorithms.

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
You got it.
So, All right, Well, Tyler, Ithink I've said it a lot
throughout, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, but but really, wow
, Like you know when, when, whenI got the idea for this, I I
thought it would be cool, butyou never really know, and and
this is just far exceeded anyexpectation you know I could, I

(01:18:19):
could have for it.
So it's, you know.
Just thank you for for that.
My pleasure.
Yeah.
And clearly I definitely enjoyedlistening to yours and I wanted
to ask you to you know, davidRaza so many more questions, so
I can't wait to hear your yourinterviews as well.
Great, great, yeah, yeah, we'lldo.
All right, everybody, all youlisteners out there, make sure

(01:18:42):
you know, hey, if you like whatyou hear and you you want to
hear more, like and subscribe soyou never miss an episode and
always you know, if there'ssomeone you want to hear from,
let us know and, just likeTyler's doing with Speak your
Truth, we're going to.
We'll try and track them downand get them on the show.
All right, everybody.
Thanks for listening, so untilnext level.

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Ep. 5 - Heavy Melodies, Heavier Messages: From Childhood Connections to Mental Health Advocacy

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 5 - Heavy Melodies, Heavier Messages: From Childhood Connections to Mental Health Advocacy