October 7, 2025 • 19 mins
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Anger is a normal response to some types of stress, and people have different types of responses to feeling anger. Some of those responses can be destructive, others can just "let off some steam" while you formulate a better response to the situation. Either way, anger releases stress hormones, including cortisol, which are necessary for survival but can be harmful in high levels for extended periods of time.
In this episode I'll talk about anger, how I deal with it, and some of the ways high cortisol can damage your body.
For personalized help managing your stress hormones, contact me at wholisticnaturalhealth.com.au for a consultation.
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Online: https://wholisticnaturalhealth.com.au
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:42):
Welcome back to a Magical Life.
I'm your host, magic Barclay,and today I wanna talk to you
about anger management.
Now, someone I know suggestedthat I do this topic for you, so
shout out to you.
You know who you.
(01:02):
Let's talk about what anger is.
Anger is part of the fightflight, freeze fade response,
which is generated by ouradrenal glands to flood the body
with stress hormones such asadrenaline and cortisol.
When we experience effects ofanger, it also has impacts on
(01:25):
our body.
So apart from saving us fromwhat the original.
Irritation, I guess, is it has aflow on effect.
Now, anger can make you feelsafe for a very split instance.
It can make you feel alarmed.
(01:46):
This is part of this response Sothat you can get out of there
and recognize that the situationisn't great for you.
It can help you blow some steam,so you know, instantly you feel
angry, you have your angerresponse, and I'll get into that
in a minute and, and it's over.
(02:08):
So, okay.
Anger responses.
What are they?
A lot of people think anger isjust screaming, shouting,
blowing up, throwing things,hitting something, whatever it
is.
But people have different angerresponses.
So for myself, my anger responseused to be retaliation.
So back in the day, someone mademe angry.
(02:30):
I was going to do whatever theydid tenfold, made me feel
better, instantly.
Not a healthy response.
I knew that, but it was my go-toanger response.
These days, my anger response iscrying, and it sounds weird, but
(02:52):
it doesn't hurt anyone.
It doesn't hurt me.
your anger response is liketaking the lid off.
The pressure cooker or like abottle of fizzy drink when you
shake it up, you know, you takethe the lid off at once and it's
going to explode everywhere andshoot up everywhere, right?
(03:13):
But if you undo the lid just alittle bit, let some of that air
escape, that pressurized air,it's going to dissipate.
So your anger response ishopefully.
Doing the lid slowly just to leta bit of pressure out, but for
some people it's taking the lidoff instantly and exploding.
(03:34):
So I used to be an exploder.
So for me now crying is takingthat lid off just a little bit
to lit a little bit of pressureout.
Now, however your anger responseis facilitated is up to you.
So like I said, mine used to beexplosive and you know, very
much do unto others, kind of ina really bad way.
(03:58):
Now it's crying.
And so for me, when I feel thatanger welling up and there's
nothing else I can do, and Ihave to release a little bit of
pressure, I'll cry.
It's not full on sobbing.
It's just letting some pressureout.
Anger can get worse with ourhormone fluctuations.
(04:22):
So for me, going into menopause,I realized I had to change my
anger response because everytime my estrogen dipped really
low, I got more angry.
So, you know, we need to knowthat.
Times of our life, our angerwill be reflected very
(04:43):
differently within our body andit will be encouraged or
exacerbated by our hormonefluctuations.
So back to what anger does tothe body.
Well, first of all, angerstresses out the heart.
So it does trigger a release ofstress hormones, and over a long
(05:05):
time, they can take a toll onyour heart.
High blood pressure can comefrom increased long-term stress,
heart disease, heart attack,stroke, metabolic syndrome.
So something that makes meangry, I'll tell you this right
now, is when someone says, oh,you are fat, especially to
(05:28):
someone under a lot of stress orto someone that's been through
menopause and their hormones aregoing, oh, hooey, right?
Do not ever label someone asfat.
I'm just going to say thatbecause you don't know what's
going on in their body, and ifthey're under long-term chronic
(05:50):
stress, the cortisol levels willbe super high.
Cortisol is one of those stresshormones triggered by anger,
triggered by stress.
And guess what?
It makes you hold on.
Too fat in your cells andcortisol is not only a hormone,
it's also a sugar.
So it can elevate your bloodsugars to the point where you're
(06:14):
going to find it hard to comeback from.
So, you know, something thatmakes me angry is when someone
says to me, oh, you're stillfat.
Okay.
But I know what mine's comingfrom.
You know, my response used tobe, well, I may be fat, but you
are still an idiot.
That's an anger response rightnow.
(06:35):
My response is, yes, I know mycortisol's very high and you are
not helping me.
So you need to find a way tomake things not keep impacting
you.
Because guess what?
Every time something impacts youthat someone says or does.
(06:57):
Assumes about you, you're goingto get angry and that is going
to keep the cycle going.
Now, anger also, as I said,increases the risk of heart
attacks.
It's specifically linked herethrough that cortisol hormone,
(07:19):
anger can disrupt yourdigestion.
So when you are in a fightflight, freeze, fade response,
you are not going to digestthings properly.
And when you don't digest thingsproperly, you're not getting
those nutrients you can get.
Things like irritable bowelsyndrome.
(07:40):
You can get good long-termstress if you are not digesting
things or long-term anger.
If you are not digesting, thingswill affect your skin, your
hair, your eyesight.
Your brain, your thinking, toomuch anger hinders your mental
health.
(08:01):
So you cannot think clearly inan angry state.
It will cause anxiety anddepression.
It will change yourrelationships.
It will change your responses topeople.
Anger can mess up your sleep.
So when you have higher stresshormones.
(08:25):
Are going to struggle to havethe correct sleep hormones, so
your whole balance will be outof whack.
Anger lives in our liver.
So people who are chronicallyangry will have liver issues, so
you will not be able to releasetoxins from your body.
(08:48):
You will not be able to processnutrients properly because your
liver is required to do that.
Okay?
Science lesson over, what do wedo to manage our anger?
You need to find something thatis your go-to that works for
(09:09):
you.
Now, I talk with a lot of myclients about PNEI.
What is it?
Psycho neuro endo, immunology.
The psycho is all of ourthoughts and emotions.
And guess what?
Anger is one of those.
And if you don't address what'sgoing on in your limbic brain
where the P is, you are going tohave a flow on effect.
(09:34):
So if you cannot address youranger properly, it will affect
your nervous system, which willaffect your endocrine system,
which those stress hormones arefrom.
So you can see the continualloop happening here, and that
will also affect your immunesystem.
So you'll start getting sickwith everything.
(09:55):
Anger can make you sick.
Colds, flus.
All those good things that wereally love not Right.
Where are they coming from?
They can be coming from youranger.
Okay, so what do we do aboutanger?
Find a release.
(10:15):
So talk to my clients, as I saidabout the PNEI, one way to short
circuit that is by scent.
What is your favorite scent?
What is your go-to?
For me, it's dill.
And I always tell this storybecause it just puts a smile on
my face and a smile on my heart,and that is the happiest time in
(10:39):
my childhood.
That I can ever remember is inmy Nana's kitchen, standing on a
stool next to her at the bench,learning to make dill pickled
cucumbers.
So the smell of dill takes meback to my Nana's kitchen where
everything was safe and I wascalm, and I was happy, and I was
(11:00):
enjoying everything.
So when I feel angry, I have abottle of dill oil with me.
And so I can put a drop on myhands, rub it together, warm it
up, cup it over my face, and I'mnot angry anymore.
I cannot be angry with the smellof dill.
So for me, that's a very healthyway to manage my anger.
(11:27):
Now if something like a scentdoesn't work.
As I said, my next go-to is tocry.
You've got to release some ofthe pressure, okay?
If you cannot take yourself outof the situation to calm down,
and we'll talk about that in aminute, you need to release some
pressure.
So for me, it can be crying.
(11:49):
The crying doesn't mean I'm sad.
The crying doesn't mean I'mhurt.
The crying doesn't mean anythingother than I'm releasing
pressure so that I don't explodeat the person making me angry,
or I don't explode at thesituation making me angry.
It's just releasing pressure.
(12:11):
Okay.
The best way to manage youranger, however, is get the heck
out of the situation.
This may mean something like,you know, you're in the office,
something makes you angry.
You just politely say, excuseme, I need to step out, go
(12:32):
outside, walk around.
Take 10, 20, 30 minutes,whatever it is, walk around,
dissipate the situation bytaking yourself out of there.
If you cannot do that, excuseyourself to the bathroom and
(12:53):
just go and sit in there andwait and breathe and tell
yourself this is okay.
You are still safe.
You are still okay.
If the situation is making youangry.
Say you're on public transportand there's something really
(13:14):
weird going on and it's kind ofmaking you angry on the spot,
find a way to dissipate it.
It may be playing with the hymnon your shirt.
It may be, you know, turningyour fingers around each other
just to wiggle them around andget out of the situation.
(13:38):
Whatever it is that you aredoing to manage your anger in
the instant, it is somethingjust to reroute your brain so
that anger doesn't go anyfurther Now.
Anger that we hold onto.
Now, this is a little bitdifferent, so this is something
(13:58):
you haven't dealt with in theinstant that it happened.
It may be, you know, somethingthat was said, something that
happened, it's playing around inyour mind, or it may be
something from the past andyou're still angry about it.
Rewrite what happened.
Go home and say, this happened.
(14:20):
Yes, it made me angry.
But this is what I've learntabout the situation, or this is
what I've learnt about myself.
So I'll give you an examplehere.
I had a very good friend thatwas part, almost part of my
family, lived in my home for awhile, and she changed.
(14:48):
Things she was doing made meinstantly angry, and then when
she moved out of my home, thingsshe did made me extremely angry
and it built up 12 months on.
I could still be angry aboutthat, but I'm not.
(15:08):
Because I did the work, and sonow what I see had happened was
she felt lost in herself.
Things changed.
Her response to me was an angerresponse.
My response now is, nah,whatever.
Move on.
You're not in my life.
You don't affect me.
(15:28):
What happened then doesn'taffect me.
It's okay.
I'm okay.
And this is what we need to getto with anger.
We need to get to the I'm okaybecause your body has one job
and that is to keep you safe.
And if you are angry andconstantly angry and
(15:50):
persistently angry, you are notsafe, and your body will reflect
that and things will starthappening that you do not want
to happen with your health.
So some takeaways here.
Anger management is up to you.
This is an inside job.
Things are going to keephappening in your life happening
(16:12):
around you, and it is yourresponse that matters.
Your response doesn't matter toanyone else.
I'm sure people don't wanna getpunched in the face.
I'd rather that you cry or walkaway and go for a walk.
That's not what I'm saying.
Your response, your angerresponse, what's happening
(16:35):
internally to you does notmatter to anyone else, but it
will matter to you today.
Tomorrow, 10 years from now, 20years from now, because you are
going to create the perfectstorm for internal damage.
These hormones, these stresshormones are extremely powerful
(16:59):
and you need to manage youranger in a way that doesn't
continually harm you.
Now.
We've kind of just touched onthe topic here, and what I'm
going to ask you to do is if youwanna know more about healthy
(17:20):
anger management or what angercan do to your body, jump onto
our website,www.holisticnaturalhealth.com
au.
We are based in Australia andnow.
Holistic starts with a W becausewe treat with holism, and I want
you to send us a contact andjust say in the topic, anger
(17:43):
management, and we can jump ontoa Zoom call anywhere around the
world or we can jump on onto aphone call in Australia and we
can help you.
Learn more about healthy ways ofanger management.
Now, to the person that asked meto do this, we've had our
(18:06):
moments.
I know we have, but hopefully mytake on anger management has
answered your, solved yourissues, and if not.
You know where I am.
Let's talk further for now.
Listeners, please like review,subscribe, and share our podcast
(18:27):
everywhere, and go forth andcreate your magical life.
I.
Welcome back to a Magical Life.
I'm your host, magic Barclay,and today I wanna talk to you
about anger management.
Now, someone I know suggestedthat I do this topic for you, so
shout out to you.
You know who you.
(01:02):
Let's talk about what anger is.
Anger is part of the fightflight, freeze fade response,
which is generated by ouradrenal glands to flood the body
with stress hormones such asadrenaline and cortisol.
When we experience effects ofanger, it also has impacts on
(01:25):
our body.
So apart from saving us fromwhat the original.
Irritation, I guess, is it has aflow on effect.
Now, anger can make you feelsafe for a very split instance.
It can make you feel alarmed.
(01:46):
This is part of this response Sothat you can get out of there
and recognize that the situationisn't great for you.
It can help you blow some steam,so you know, instantly you feel
angry, you have your angerresponse, and I'll get into that
in a minute and, and it's over.
(02:08):
So, okay.
Anger responses.
What are they?
A lot of people think anger isjust screaming, shouting,
blowing up, throwing things,hitting something, whatever it
is.
But people have different angerresponses.
So for myself, my anger responseused to be retaliation.
So back in the day, someone mademe angry.
(02:30):
I was going to do whatever theydid tenfold, made me feel
better, instantly.
Not a healthy response.
I knew that, but it was my go-toanger response.
These days, my anger response iscrying, and it sounds weird, but
(02:52):
it doesn't hurt anyone.
It doesn't hurt me.
your anger response is liketaking the lid off.
The pressure cooker or like abottle of fizzy drink when you
shake it up, you know, you takethe the lid off at once and it's
going to explode everywhere andshoot up everywhere, right?
(03:13):
But if you undo the lid just alittle bit, let some of that air
escape, that pressurized air,it's going to dissipate.
So your anger response ishopefully.
Doing the lid slowly just to leta bit of pressure out, but for
some people it's taking the lidoff instantly and exploding.
(03:34):
So I used to be an exploder.
So for me now crying is takingthat lid off just a little bit
to lit a little bit of pressureout.
Now, however your anger responseis facilitated is up to you.
So like I said, mine used to beexplosive and you know, very
much do unto others, kind of ina really bad way.
(03:58):
Now it's crying.
And so for me, when I feel thatanger welling up and there's
nothing else I can do, and Ihave to release a little bit of
pressure, I'll cry.
It's not full on sobbing.
It's just letting some pressureout.
Anger can get worse with ourhormone fluctuations.
(04:22):
So for me, going into menopause,I realized I had to change my
anger response because everytime my estrogen dipped really
low, I got more angry.
So, you know, we need to knowthat.
Times of our life, our angerwill be reflected very
(04:43):
differently within our body andit will be encouraged or
exacerbated by our hormonefluctuations.
So back to what anger does tothe body.
Well, first of all, angerstresses out the heart.
So it does trigger a release ofstress hormones, and over a long
(05:05):
time, they can take a toll onyour heart.
High blood pressure can comefrom increased long-term stress,
heart disease, heart attack,stroke, metabolic syndrome.
So something that makes meangry, I'll tell you this right
now, is when someone says, oh,you are fat, especially to
(05:28):
someone under a lot of stress orto someone that's been through
menopause and their hormones aregoing, oh, hooey, right?
Do not ever label someone asfat.
I'm just going to say thatbecause you don't know what's
going on in their body, and ifthey're under long-term chronic
(05:50):
stress, the cortisol levels willbe super high.
Cortisol is one of those stresshormones triggered by anger,
triggered by stress.
And guess what?
It makes you hold on.
Too fat in your cells andcortisol is not only a hormone,
it's also a sugar.
So it can elevate your bloodsugars to the point where you're
(06:14):
going to find it hard to comeback from.
So, you know, something thatmakes me angry is when someone
says to me, oh, you're stillfat.
Okay.
But I know what mine's comingfrom.
You know, my response used tobe, well, I may be fat, but you
are still an idiot.
That's an anger response rightnow.
(06:35):
My response is, yes, I know mycortisol's very high and you are
not helping me.
So you need to find a way tomake things not keep impacting
you.
Because guess what?
Every time something impacts youthat someone says or does.
(06:57):
Assumes about you, you're goingto get angry and that is going
to keep the cycle going.
Now, anger also, as I said,increases the risk of heart
attacks.
It's specifically linked herethrough that cortisol hormone,
(07:19):
anger can disrupt yourdigestion.
So when you are in a fightflight, freeze, fade response,
you are not going to digestthings properly.
And when you don't digest thingsproperly, you're not getting
those nutrients you can get.
Things like irritable bowelsyndrome.
(07:40):
You can get good long-termstress if you are not digesting
things or long-term anger.
If you are not digesting, thingswill affect your skin, your
hair, your eyesight.
Your brain, your thinking, toomuch anger hinders your mental
health.
(08:01):
So you cannot think clearly inan angry state.
It will cause anxiety anddepression.
It will change yourrelationships.
It will change your responses topeople.
Anger can mess up your sleep.
So when you have higher stresshormones.
(08:25):
Are going to struggle to havethe correct sleep hormones, so
your whole balance will be outof whack.
Anger lives in our liver.
So people who are chronicallyangry will have liver issues, so
you will not be able to releasetoxins from your body.
(08:48):
You will not be able to processnutrients properly because your
liver is required to do that.
Okay?
Science lesson over, what do wedo to manage our anger?
You need to find something thatis your go-to that works for
(09:09):
you.
Now, I talk with a lot of myclients about PNEI.
What is it?
Psycho neuro endo, immunology.
The psycho is all of ourthoughts and emotions.
And guess what?
Anger is one of those.
And if you don't address what'sgoing on in your limbic brain
where the P is, you are going tohave a flow on effect.
(09:34):
So if you cannot address youranger properly, it will affect
your nervous system, which willaffect your endocrine system,
which those stress hormones arefrom.
So you can see the continualloop happening here, and that
will also affect your immunesystem.
So you'll start getting sickwith everything.
(09:55):
Anger can make you sick.
Colds, flus.
All those good things that wereally love not Right.
Where are they coming from?
They can be coming from youranger.
Okay, so what do we do aboutanger?
Find a release.
(10:15):
So talk to my clients, as I saidabout the PNEI, one way to short
circuit that is by scent.
What is your favorite scent?
What is your go-to?
For me, it's dill.
And I always tell this storybecause it just puts a smile on
my face and a smile on my heart,and that is the happiest time in
(10:39):
my childhood.
That I can ever remember is inmy Nana's kitchen, standing on a
stool next to her at the bench,learning to make dill pickled
cucumbers.
So the smell of dill takes meback to my Nana's kitchen where
everything was safe and I wascalm, and I was happy, and I was
(11:00):
enjoying everything.
So when I feel angry, I have abottle of dill oil with me.
And so I can put a drop on myhands, rub it together, warm it
up, cup it over my face, and I'mnot angry anymore.
I cannot be angry with the smellof dill.
So for me, that's a very healthyway to manage my anger.
(11:27):
Now if something like a scentdoesn't work.
As I said, my next go-to is tocry.
You've got to release some ofthe pressure, okay?
If you cannot take yourself outof the situation to calm down,
and we'll talk about that in aminute, you need to release some
pressure.
So for me, it can be crying.
(11:49):
The crying doesn't mean I'm sad.
The crying doesn't mean I'mhurt.
The crying doesn't mean anythingother than I'm releasing
pressure so that I don't explodeat the person making me angry,
or I don't explode at thesituation making me angry.
It's just releasing pressure.
(12:11):
Okay.
The best way to manage youranger, however, is get the heck
out of the situation.
This may mean something like,you know, you're in the office,
something makes you angry.
You just politely say, excuseme, I need to step out, go
(12:32):
outside, walk around.
Take 10, 20, 30 minutes,whatever it is, walk around,
dissipate the situation bytaking yourself out of there.
If you cannot do that, excuseyourself to the bathroom and
(12:53):
just go and sit in there andwait and breathe and tell
yourself this is okay.
You are still safe.
You are still okay.
If the situation is making youangry.
Say you're on public transportand there's something really
(13:14):
weird going on and it's kind ofmaking you angry on the spot,
find a way to dissipate it.
It may be playing with the hymnon your shirt.
It may be, you know, turningyour fingers around each other
just to wiggle them around andget out of the situation.
(13:38):
Whatever it is that you aredoing to manage your anger in
the instant, it is somethingjust to reroute your brain so
that anger doesn't go anyfurther Now.
Anger that we hold onto.
Now, this is a little bitdifferent, so this is something
(13:58):
you haven't dealt with in theinstant that it happened.
It may be, you know, somethingthat was said, something that
happened, it's playing around inyour mind, or it may be
something from the past andyou're still angry about it.
Rewrite what happened.
Go home and say, this happened.
(14:20):
Yes, it made me angry.
But this is what I've learntabout the situation, or this is
what I've learnt about myself.
So I'll give you an examplehere.
I had a very good friend thatwas part, almost part of my
family, lived in my home for awhile, and she changed.
(14:48):
Things she was doing made meinstantly angry, and then when
she moved out of my home, thingsshe did made me extremely angry
and it built up 12 months on.
I could still be angry aboutthat, but I'm not.
(15:08):
Because I did the work, and sonow what I see had happened was
she felt lost in herself.
Things changed.
Her response to me was an angerresponse.
My response now is, nah,whatever.
Move on.
You're not in my life.
You don't affect me.
(15:28):
What happened then doesn'taffect me.
It's okay.
I'm okay.
And this is what we need to getto with anger.
We need to get to the I'm okaybecause your body has one job
and that is to keep you safe.
And if you are angry andconstantly angry and
(15:50):
persistently angry, you are notsafe, and your body will reflect
that and things will starthappening that you do not want
to happen with your health.
So some takeaways here.
Anger management is up to you.
This is an inside job.
Things are going to keephappening in your life happening
(16:12):
around you, and it is yourresponse that matters.
Your response doesn't matter toanyone else.
I'm sure people don't wanna getpunched in the face.
I'd rather that you cry or walkaway and go for a walk.
That's not what I'm saying.
Your response, your angerresponse, what's happening
(16:35):
internally to you does notmatter to anyone else, but it
will matter to you today.
Tomorrow, 10 years from now, 20years from now, because you are
going to create the perfectstorm for internal damage.
These hormones, these stresshormones are extremely powerful
(16:59):
and you need to manage youranger in a way that doesn't
continually harm you.
Now.
We've kind of just touched onthe topic here, and what I'm
going to ask you to do is if youwanna know more about healthy
(17:20):
anger management or what angercan do to your body, jump onto
our website,www.holisticnaturalhealth.com
au.
We are based in Australia andnow.
Holistic starts with a W becausewe treat with holism, and I want
you to send us a contact andjust say in the topic, anger
(17:43):
management, and we can jump ontoa Zoom call anywhere around the
world or we can jump on onto aphone call in Australia and we
can help you.
Learn more about healthy ways ofanger management.
Now, to the person that asked meto do this, we've had our
(18:06):
moments.
I know we have, but hopefully mytake on anger management has
answered your, solved yourissues, and if not.
You know where I am.
Let's talk further for now.
Listeners, please like review,subscribe, and share our podcast
(18:27):
everywhere, and go forth andcreate your magical life.
I.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.