December 24, 2024 • 23 mins
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Today I'm joined by Peter Anthony, who shares a poignant story about his daughter Belle's battle with anxiety and low self-esteem. Discover how small, actionable steps and a powerful mantra helped Belle transform her life, leading to the inception of her 'Nuff' clothing line that promotes self-worth and supports the Batia Charity. Dive into practical tips for managing anxiety, creating emotional wealth, and fostering self-love. Tune in for heartfelt insights and an inspiring journey of overcoming adversity.
See the clothing line and learn more about Nuff at https://youranuff.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/imanuff. If you send Peter a story of how you overcame adversity in your life, he will send you a free shirt! Contact him at Peteranthonymail@gmail.com and be sure to mention the A Magical Life podcast.
Connect with Magic:
A Magical Life Podcast on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amagicallifepodcast/
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholisticnaturalhealth/
Online: https://wholisticnaturalhealth.com.au
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Magic Barclay (00:42):
Welcome back to A Magical Life.
I'm your host Magic Barclay andtoday Peter Anthony joins me and
here's a little story that Petersent me.
When my daughter Belle moved inwith me full time, she was 16
and was suffering from many ofthe anxieties facing young
women.
She had a traumatic experiencewith a boy, she suffered anxiety
(01:05):
and held destructive views abouther body.
She stopped going to school.
was involved in drugs andalcohol, and was smoking a
packet of Marlboros a day.
I thought the antidote was lotsof love, but it turns out I was
only half right.
That's about my average.
I learned that what she neededwas to love herself, to have
(01:26):
more self esteem, and one nightwe were talking in the kitchen
after dinner.
I said, just remember, you'reenough, strong enough, beautiful
enough, and smart enough to dealwith life.
She said, I'm enough?
And you're enough?
Became our mantra so she couldremember, to remember that she
(01:48):
was enough.
Starting with baby steps likegetting up in the morning, she
decided to spread the message bystarting a Nuff clothing
business and make it part of herhigh school project.
She started with simple t shirtsand sweatshirts with the Nuff
message.
And proceeds from the businessgo to the Batia Charity, who
(02:09):
support young people to developself esteem.
You can see pics of her Nuffsupporters on her Facebook,
which is facebook.
com.
au.
I'm enough.
Welcome, Peter.
I could go on, but this is areally cute story, and I'm
probably massacring it for you.
G'day,
Peter Anthony (02:27):
Cowager.
Magic Barclay (02:29):
I am so good.
So good to hear a g'day fromAustralia.
Peter Anthony (02:33):
A little bit north of you, but, uh, I can be
forgiven for being in New SouthWales and not in Victoria.
Is that okay?
Magic Barclay (02:39):
Oh, I should be forgiven for being in Victoria.
It's not the place to beanymore, but enough of that.
Cause most of the listeners arein the U S and they're probably
going, what the heck are thesetwo talking about?
Talking
Peter Anthony (02:50):
about exactly.
Magic Barclay (02:51):
tell us about you and Bell's journey through
anxiety.
Sounds like she, she kind ofturned it around there.
Peter Anthony (03:00):
Yeah, she did.
It wasn't one of those, uh,revolutionary changes magic.
It took us, uh, It took us ayear to even, uh, begin to
understand what she wasexperiencing, as you read
through in, in, in your intro,when she landed on my doorstep,
um, she was, uh, she was anxiousand almost every aspect in her
(03:23):
life was a disaster.
physically, emotionally,mentally, she was at the very
lowest, point you can possiblybe.
And, at that time I had zeroexperience, in dealing with
anxiety and helping someone Iloved and cared about, my
daughter, through anxiety.
In fact, true to say, I had.
the opposite view of what wouldwork in helping somebody with
(03:46):
anxiety.
Because I was raised old schoolmale, which was all about, if
you get a feeling, push it down.
and, if you've got a problem,just take massive action to fix
it.
Um, so it was as much a journeyfor me, if you like, as it was a
journey for her.
Magic Barclay (04:04):
I love that.
And I think that's something wereally need to point out here to
the listeners.
Everyone has their differentcoping mechanisms and different
learning styles about thingslike anxiety.
No one's wrong.
Just means that sometimes youneed to take a different tack, a
different trajectory, if youwill, on your approach to it.
Peter Anthony (04:26):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I guess what I wanted toshare with you today is like
some, some practical things thatBill and I learned.
And, ideally, there'll be somenuggets of wisdom in there, uh,
for your listeners if theysuffer from anxiety or they know
someone or care about someonethat, that is suffering from
anxiety too.
Magic Barclay (04:44):
Great.
And we will cover those in justa minute, but I ask all of my
guests the same three questionsto start with and everyone gives
me different answers and I knowyours are pretty cool.
So here comes your first one.
What can your expertise do toaccelerate health, not just
physical, but also emotional andspiritual health?
(05:04):
Thank you.
Peter Anthony (05:06):
I can help you accelerate your spiritual and
emotional health by helping youunderstand a fresh perspective
on anxiety and what to do aboutit when it turns up.
Magic Barclay (05:18):
Fantastic.
We talk about wealth here aswell, not just financial, but
also personal and emotionalwealth.
So what are your top three tipsto creating wealth?
Peter Anthony (05:29):
my top three tips, are about emotional wealth
as opposed to physical wealthand the way I see it, emotional
wealth leads to physical ormaterial wealth anyway, tip
number one is, think aboutanxiety as separation from
yourself, tip number two wouldbe to find an appropriate mantra
(05:51):
that you can repeat to yourselfregularly during the day and tip
number three would be When youare dealing with anxiety to
think of the smallest possiblesteps you can take.
Um, to move your, move yourselfinto a different space.
Magic Barclay (06:07):
I think that's really important because when
we're dealing with anxiety,obviously everything can seem a
little bit overwhelming and anystep forward is a step forward.
Doesn't matter how big, howsmall, as long as you are doing
something to get out of thatstate of being.
Peter Anthony (06:26):
Exactly.
And quite often what we foundwhen we, when Bell and I looked
at the anxiety very closely wasthat what usually happens when
you're anxious is, or what oftenhappens in our experience is,
uh, it's a lack of actionorientation.
You tend to just stop doingthings, particularly you stop
doing healthy behaviors, if youlike.
(06:47):
So by taking tiny steps, even ifthey're not necessarily going in
the right direction, because youmay not know what the right
direction is.
At least getting an actionorientation and doing things
like in our case, doing thingsinitially were very simple, like
doing things like getting out ofbed, doing things like eating
meals, doing things like gettingoutside into the sunshine.
(07:08):
So, uh, they can be, they can betiny steps.
I wouldn't be too concerned withmaking them the right actions,
uh, just getting more orthinking more action orientated
and think, okay, how many, howmany actions did I take
yesterday?
I took two.
Well, tomorrow I'm going to addone to that and do, and do three
and just gradually build upthat, um, that action
(07:30):
orientation by taking more andmore of those tiny steps.
And as the tiny steps build, thesteps get bigger, your self
esteem begins to build.
And you begin recognizing andgetting rewarded for taking the
right actions.
That's that's the tiny stepapproach.
I wouldn't be too concernedabout are they the right actions
(07:50):
or not, because quite oftenthinking right and wrong can
make you anxious, often byitself.
Magic Barclay (07:56):
That it can.
The final standard question isaround weight loss.
Many people battle their weight.
And so have you battled yours?
If so, how did you win the war?
And what can you offer thelisteners who might be dealing
with that?
Because we know that weightissues cause a lot of anxiety.
Peter Anthony (08:15):
Uh, they do.
I have battled with weight.
It's like, and I still do from,from time to time from quarter
to quarter.
I still, I get to a weight thatI'm not comfortable being.
I would say my number one tip,um, for weight loss is, the
better you feel about yourself,the more healthy your weight
will be.
So it's a matter of emotionalwellbeing will bring you
(08:37):
physical wellbeing.
Uh, and I'd also, if I could adda second, uh, thing I've learned
here is to reduce consumption onsocial media because social
media for both men and women isfull of it, of, of images of
people that are.
If you look at them oftenenough, they can make you feel
(08:57):
like you're not the right,height, weight, size, color,
whatever, whatever it might be,it's full of very perfect
looking people.
Magic Barclay (09:05):
Exactly.
All right.
That's the standard questions.
Now tell us more about how youand Belle turn things around,
how she turned this cripplinganxiety into a clothing line and
a success and how's she goingnow?
You're welcome.
Peter Anthony (09:22):
that's that's what one big question.
So, the way we turned it aroundwas the way she turned it around
was by doing the opposite ofwhat I originally tried, I
think, as you mentioned yourintro, I thought.
if I loved her enough, if Ishowed her enough love, if I
cared for her enough, it wouldturn her around.
But that, that does not work.
what we needed to do was to helpBill feel more self respect and
(09:45):
more self care for herself.
she was also struggling withweight issues at that time.
so was about looking at abaseline of where her life was
then and think about, okay, so,with some really basic
parameters.
how can we turn her life around?
How can we get up half an hourearlier a day?
How can we eat one more meal aday?
(10:05):
How can we get outside?
How can we have some sort ofexercise each day?
Which I mentioned earlier aboutthese, these tiny steps.
and we did arrive, as youmentioned in your intro, we did
arrive, at a mantra.
We arrived at this, uh, mantraor this saying is that you are
enough because she was thinkingthat she wasn't enough to deal
(10:26):
with her life and her problemsand the issues that she was
facing.
And I was attempting to tell herthat she was more than enough,
that she had to take thismassive action and that she was,
she was more than enough thatwas required.
And then what we both learnedtogether through one
conversation we had after dinnerone night was that.
All she really needed to thinkand believe.
(10:47):
Was that she was enough, likejust enough, not more than
enough, not less than enough.
Like I'm enough to get up in themorning.
I'm an, I'm enough to eat a goodmeal.
I'm enough to be loved.
I'm enough to be cared about.
and, that became a mantra forus.
it also meant magic that she hadto change, who she had as her so
called friends.
And I call them so calledfriends because it was a very
destructive group of people thatshe was with.
(11:10):
And we learn that you do becomewho you hang around.
so we, we gradually change thosepeople too, or she changed the
people, she was friends with andshe was, uh, she was hanging out
with, if you like, during theday and during the evening.
And, what we found was that weneeded to get, or she needed to
get more connected with herselfto find out who she really was.
(11:30):
And one tool we used that shefound really, really useful was
to think about herself in thefuture.
So, she would sit down near thebeach, uh, near where we live
and just look out at the ocean,close her eyes, just imagine
herself in the future.
And the future self she imaginedwas about three or four years
down the track.
And this girl was at uni, shewas doing a degree.
(11:52):
Um, she was in a relationshipand she was happy and she was
healthy and she imagined thatperson.
and then what Bell did was shewrote a letter from that future
self, from the future Bell tothe current Bell, like a letter
of love, if you like, but likesometimes what people do with,
with wounded child, they'll,they'll care about themselves in
(12:13):
the past when they're little.
in this case, what Bell wasdoing was caring for herself
from the future to the present.
Um, Which really helped her andshe journaled quite regularly
from her future self to herpresent self.
Now this began, this Nuff ideareally began working for her.
so much so that she said, dad, Ireally want to spread this
message.
And I said, really?
She said, yeah.
(12:33):
She said, I want to, I want to,like make some simple t shirts
and just for the Nuff on it,like just with N U F F Nuff on
it.
And people buy them.
I'm thinking who would buy a tshirt with Nuff on it?
But I thought, no, I care abouther.
I love her.
Uh, this can be part of, and itbecame part of her HSC project.
Cause she was in, she went backto school in year 11.
She missed a year of school andthis became a HSC project for
(12:56):
year 12.
So she started this business.
I'm thinking who's going to buythe, it could be a good HSC
project.
No one's going to buy theseshirts, but sure enough, I
bought a 200 T shirts in fourdifferent sizes from extra small
to extra large, uh, I advertisedthem on Facebook for Bell.
We started a little Shopify,store.
And they sold out in a bit lessthan a day, magic.
(13:21):
And I was amazed, I wassurprised.
Then Belle said, look, we've gotto package up each individually,
dad.
We've got to, uh, I'm going toput a note in with each person.
So she packaged them all upindividually, every, every t
shirt and we delivered them allto the Northern beaches, one
weekend just in the back of mycar.
And that started this Nuffbusiness.
(13:41):
I was thinking it would just bea, an idea that just lasts for
the HSC.
But she was very keen to spreadthe message and it wasn't the
message of just you're enough,which is a great message of and
by itself.
But what she was keen to do isto get people starting
conversations.
Like if you're wearing enough tshirt, people say, what's this
(14:01):
not about?
Oh, it's about feeling enough.
It just starts the conversationabout self esteem because quite
often what we were finding isthat a lot of people are
challenged with self esteem, butthey don't know how to start a
conversation with other people,either about how they're feeling
or about how they're feeling orthe other person's feeling.
So that's, that's how that, thatbusiness started.
(14:22):
It all started from a kitchenconversation that translated
into a HSC project that nowthree years later is a, going
concern, which no one is moresurprised than me, Magic.
Magic Barclay (14:34):
All right, for all the mums out there, I'm
going to ask, do they come inlarger sizes?
Peter Anthony (14:39):
They do.
They do.
They go from extra small toextra, extra large.
And we also do special orders,Manchik, because we had one, um,
one guy that contacted us.
He was on the North coast of NewSouth Wales.
He says, he said, do you do 5XL?
Uh, he sends a message and I runa message back, uh, no, but I'll
(15:00):
just double check.
I had a conversation with Belland said, Bell, we don't do 5XL.
She said, this, this guy was ina group of men, like large guys
that wanted to, uh, build theirself esteem and, and reduce
weight.
And they wanted to use this NUPidea for themselves.
So we made a special order of5XLs, which is the biggest shirt
I've seen, Magic.
(15:20):
Have you seen a 5XL shirt?
Magic Barclay (15:23):
Yes, sadly, I have, I used to wear one and
it's huge.
Peter Anthony (15:28):
It was, it was big.
I thought this is really cool.
So, um, we do, I mean, we go to,we go to double XL for the
regular, uh, the regular sizes,but we do special orders.
We've also, because most of whenwe look on Facebook and the
customers that we had and on, onShopify, most of our customers
are mums.
Originally I thought they'd beyoung women, just like Bell, but
(15:49):
no, most of them are mums.
Between say 45 and about 55 ish,uh, and they buy it for
themselves and they also buy itfor their friends.
I think you mentioned, youshowed us the Facebook, uh, you
mentioned the Facebook page andthe, the Instagram, there's
photos of our supporters there,like all the women that
originally supported thatprogram.
(16:10):
I call them the, the mum mafia,cause they basically took over
the business and, and spread theword themselves.
Um, so yeah, we did big, we didall sizes and the mums were also
requested kids sizes.
So we now got little likechildren's sizes too, like
larger and very small.
I love
Magic Barclay (16:30):
that.
And Peter, that that's such animportant message.
A lot of my listeners.
Uh, in the age group that I'min, like the 45 to 65 and, you
know, post divorce or once thekids are grown up, our lives
kind of change.
And there's still thatdemographic of women around the
(16:51):
world who tend to slip throughthe cracks because they lose
their self identity.
You know, they're no longer thewife, they're no longer the mom
of kids that need them everyday, they might be changing
careers.
And I think this is a reallyimportant message for that age
group, because sometimes you canfeel like, who am I?
(17:15):
Why am I here?
You know, what's my role?
And that anxiety can reallydrive you down a very dark road.
Peter Anthony (17:24):
Yeah, I, I, I believe that and I've had a lot
of experience hearing, um,people, uh, in our, in our
cohort or in our, what I callthe, um, the mum's mafia.
some have had kids that have,um, grown up and don't need them
anymore, or they've, they've,they've, they've separated or
divorced from their partners andthey, they find it hard to get a
sense of identity becausethey've been a mother or a
(17:46):
partner for most of their lives.
Uh, and thinking, well, who am Ireally, uh, and am, am I enough
as myself, as a woman, am Ienough in the world?
And it's very challenging,particularly now with social
media perceptions, and a lot ofpressure, on womankind a lot
more than that there is on, onmen.
So.
(18:06):
I hear that loud and clear fromour customers, uh, and women all
over the world feel the sameway.
I mean, we've been fortunateenough to, Bill and I, and
sometimes me, sometimes justher, sometimes both of us,
talked to, podcasts in the UK,in the US and Canada.
And we're finding people withthe same experiences all over
the world.
It's not just an Australianthing.
it's a global, a global issue.
(18:28):
And it's, it's very much aboutbeing separated from yourself
and not thinking that you'reenough.
to deal with reconnecting with,who you are.
Magic Barclay (18:38):
Exactly.
All right.
We've covered a lot here.
Is there something we haven'ttalked about that you feel the
listeners need to hear?
Peter Anthony (18:45):
No, I think, I think suggesting the main
things.
I mean, the main things is tohave a, a daily mantra.
The mantra, obviously, that Isuggest is that I'm enough.
I'm enough.
I'm enough to deal with it.
I'm enough.
Like, I am enough.
the second would be to, thinkabout whatever the, issues are
that are causing you anxiety, tothink of the tiniest possible
step that you can take.
(19:06):
Towards that particular goal,like to say, for example, I'm
thinking about I should be goingfor a walk and I'm not, what's
the tiniest step I could take?
I could just leave my runningshoes out to go for a walk in
the morning.
what's the tiniest step I cantake towards that goal?
and, the final one that, I'drecommend in addition to that in
mantras and tiny steps.
is to think about that letterfrom the future idea and think
(19:28):
about thinking about yourself inthe future, not like in an ideal
future, because no one lives anideal life, but think about
yourself in the future when youhave got past this issue that's
causing you anxiety, what yourlife will look like.
And reconnect with who you are,because that person that has
dealt with the issue is who youreally are, hence it's often
(19:49):
called the hero's journey, andit's always happy in the end,
and if it's not happy, it's notthe end.
Which means this is just one legof that journey that's full of
challenges, but the next leg isgoing to be one where you've
resolved those challenges,you've manifested yourself into
something bigger, brighter, andstronger than where you are now.
And you can celebrate that, inadvance, right back to yourself
(20:11):
in the present.
And use that as, as your, asyour guiding light, you are your
best helper.
You are your best guide.
You're your best coach.
Magic Barclay (20:20):
Love it.
Now we love freebies here.
So what can you offer thelisteners?
I know it's something thatrequires them to believe in
themselves and put themselvesout there.
So what is it?
Peter Anthony (20:33):
Well, I'm going to, I'm going to offer your
listeners, I'm going to ask themto do something.
I'm going to ask them to dosomething.
I want to hear a story from alistener.
a story about how they'veovercome some sort of adversity
in their life and they've had asense that they're enough to
deal with that adversity.
And if I get that, if we getthat story, uh, I'm happy to,
(20:56):
uh, to send them, a free shirtwith a size and color of their
choice.
and that they can see them onthe website.
If they want to check them out,that's you're enough.
com.
The most popular is, charcoalwith pig nuffs on it, but we've
also got white, uh, and purpleshirts too.
They can check those out, seewhat they like.
but for everyone, that sends ina story, to me, I'm very happy,
(21:20):
and as is Bell to send them, um,a free shirt to celebrate the
fact that they took that step.
How does that sound magic?
Magic Barclay (21:26):
That sounds gorgeous.
So the website iswww.youranuff.com.
That's right.
So you're enough.
It's a very Australian way ofdoing it, and I love it.
Peter Anthony (21:42):
You're enough.
You're enough.
We've had a lot of grief fromthe grammar.
Nazis magic about it should be.
You are enough, but that's notthe point.
The point is it's simple.
You are enough.
It's funny, it's Australian,it's not too complicated, and
it's meant to be a conversationstarter, not meant to be the
whole, the whole piece.
Magic Barclay (22:03):
And on Facebook, I'm enough, I M A N U F F.
And on Instagram, you're enough,which is Y O U R A N U F F.
Thank you so much, Peter, forjoining us.
Peter Anthony (22:19):
Absolute pleasure, Magic, and I hope your
listeners found something ofvalue from the conversation.
Magic Barclay (22:24):
And listeners, just remember that you are
enough and I'm enough.
We are all enough.
We're all enough.
Peter Anthony (22:32):
I've never had enough.
Magic Barclay (22:34):
All right.
Before we sign off, listeners,thank you so much for joining us
today and don't forget to like,review, subscribe, share, and go
forth and create your magicallife.
Welcome back to A Magical Life.
I'm your host Magic Barclay andtoday Peter Anthony joins me and
here's a little story that Petersent me.
When my daughter Belle moved inwith me full time, she was 16
and was suffering from many ofthe anxieties facing young
women.
She had a traumatic experiencewith a boy, she suffered anxiety
(01:05):
and held destructive views abouther body.
She stopped going to school.
was involved in drugs andalcohol, and was smoking a
packet of Marlboros a day.
I thought the antidote was lotsof love, but it turns out I was
only half right.
That's about my average.
I learned that what she neededwas to love herself, to have
(01:26):
more self esteem, and one nightwe were talking in the kitchen
after dinner.
I said, just remember, you'reenough, strong enough, beautiful
enough, and smart enough to dealwith life.
She said, I'm enough?
And you're enough?
Became our mantra so she couldremember, to remember that she
(01:48):
was enough.
Starting with baby steps likegetting up in the morning, she
decided to spread the message bystarting a Nuff clothing
business and make it part of herhigh school project.
She started with simple t shirtsand sweatshirts with the Nuff
message.
And proceeds from the businessgo to the Batia Charity, who
(02:09):
support young people to developself esteem.
You can see pics of her Nuffsupporters on her Facebook,
which is facebook.
com.
au.
I'm enough.
Welcome, Peter.
I could go on, but this is areally cute story, and I'm
probably massacring it for you.
G'day,
Peter Anthony (02:27):
Cowager.
Magic Barclay (02:29):
I am so good.
So good to hear a g'day fromAustralia.
Peter Anthony (02:33):
A little bit north of you, but, uh, I can be
forgiven for being in New SouthWales and not in Victoria.
Is that okay?
Magic Barclay (02:39):
Oh, I should be forgiven for being in Victoria.
It's not the place to beanymore, but enough of that.
Cause most of the listeners arein the U S and they're probably
going, what the heck are thesetwo talking about?
Talking
Peter Anthony (02:50):
about exactly.
Magic Barclay (02:51):
tell us about you and Bell's journey through
anxiety.
Sounds like she, she kind ofturned it around there.
Peter Anthony (03:00):
Yeah, she did.
It wasn't one of those, uh,revolutionary changes magic.
It took us, uh, It took us ayear to even, uh, begin to
understand what she wasexperiencing, as you read
through in, in, in your intro,when she landed on my doorstep,
um, she was, uh, she was anxiousand almost every aspect in her
(03:23):
life was a disaster.
physically, emotionally,mentally, she was at the very
lowest, point you can possiblybe.
And, at that time I had zeroexperience, in dealing with
anxiety and helping someone Iloved and cared about, my
daughter, through anxiety.
In fact, true to say, I had.
the opposite view of what wouldwork in helping somebody with
(03:46):
anxiety.
Because I was raised old schoolmale, which was all about, if
you get a feeling, push it down.
and, if you've got a problem,just take massive action to fix
it.
Um, so it was as much a journeyfor me, if you like, as it was a
journey for her.
Magic Barclay (04:04):
I love that.
And I think that's something wereally need to point out here to
the listeners.
Everyone has their differentcoping mechanisms and different
learning styles about thingslike anxiety.
No one's wrong.
Just means that sometimes youneed to take a different tack, a
different trajectory, if youwill, on your approach to it.
Peter Anthony (04:26):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I guess what I wanted toshare with you today is like
some, some practical things thatBill and I learned.
And, ideally, there'll be somenuggets of wisdom in there, uh,
for your listeners if theysuffer from anxiety or they know
someone or care about someonethat, that is suffering from
anxiety too.
Magic Barclay (04:44):
Great.
And we will cover those in justa minute, but I ask all of my
guests the same three questionsto start with and everyone gives
me different answers and I knowyours are pretty cool.
So here comes your first one.
What can your expertise do toaccelerate health, not just
physical, but also emotional andspiritual health?
(05:04):
Thank you.
Peter Anthony (05:06):
I can help you accelerate your spiritual and
emotional health by helping youunderstand a fresh perspective
on anxiety and what to do aboutit when it turns up.
Magic Barclay (05:18):
Fantastic.
We talk about wealth here aswell, not just financial, but
also personal and emotionalwealth.
So what are your top three tipsto creating wealth?
Peter Anthony (05:29):
my top three tips, are about emotional wealth
as opposed to physical wealthand the way I see it, emotional
wealth leads to physical ormaterial wealth anyway, tip
number one is, think aboutanxiety as separation from
yourself, tip number two wouldbe to find an appropriate mantra
(05:51):
that you can repeat to yourselfregularly during the day and tip
number three would be When youare dealing with anxiety to
think of the smallest possiblesteps you can take.
Um, to move your, move yourselfinto a different space.
Magic Barclay (06:07):
I think that's really important because when
we're dealing with anxiety,obviously everything can seem a
little bit overwhelming and anystep forward is a step forward.
Doesn't matter how big, howsmall, as long as you are doing
something to get out of thatstate of being.
Peter Anthony (06:26):
Exactly.
And quite often what we foundwhen we, when Bell and I looked
at the anxiety very closely wasthat what usually happens when
you're anxious is, or what oftenhappens in our experience is,
uh, it's a lack of actionorientation.
You tend to just stop doingthings, particularly you stop
doing healthy behaviors, if youlike.
(06:47):
So by taking tiny steps, even ifthey're not necessarily going in
the right direction, because youmay not know what the right
direction is.
At least getting an actionorientation and doing things
like in our case, doing thingsinitially were very simple, like
doing things like getting out ofbed, doing things like eating
meals, doing things like gettingoutside into the sunshine.
(07:08):
So, uh, they can be, they can betiny steps.
I wouldn't be too concerned withmaking them the right actions,
uh, just getting more orthinking more action orientated
and think, okay, how many, howmany actions did I take
yesterday?
I took two.
Well, tomorrow I'm going to addone to that and do, and do three
and just gradually build upthat, um, that action
(07:30):
orientation by taking more andmore of those tiny steps.
And as the tiny steps build, thesteps get bigger, your self
esteem begins to build.
And you begin recognizing andgetting rewarded for taking the
right actions.
That's that's the tiny stepapproach.
I wouldn't be too concernedabout are they the right actions
(07:50):
or not, because quite oftenthinking right and wrong can
make you anxious, often byitself.
Magic Barclay (07:56):
That it can.
The final standard question isaround weight loss.
Many people battle their weight.
And so have you battled yours?
If so, how did you win the war?
And what can you offer thelisteners who might be dealing
with that?
Because we know that weightissues cause a lot of anxiety.
Peter Anthony (08:15):
Uh, they do.
I have battled with weight.
It's like, and I still do from,from time to time from quarter
to quarter.
I still, I get to a weight thatI'm not comfortable being.
I would say my number one tip,um, for weight loss is, the
better you feel about yourself,the more healthy your weight
will be.
So it's a matter of emotionalwellbeing will bring you
(08:37):
physical wellbeing.
Uh, and I'd also, if I could adda second, uh, thing I've learned
here is to reduce consumption onsocial media because social
media for both men and women isfull of it, of, of images of
people that are.
If you look at them oftenenough, they can make you feel
(08:57):
like you're not the right,height, weight, size, color,
whatever, whatever it might be,it's full of very perfect
looking people.
Magic Barclay (09:05):
Exactly.
All right.
That's the standard questions.
Now tell us more about how youand Belle turn things around,
how she turned this cripplinganxiety into a clothing line and
a success and how's she goingnow?
You're welcome.
Peter Anthony (09:22):
that's that's what one big question.
So, the way we turned it aroundwas the way she turned it around
was by doing the opposite ofwhat I originally tried, I
think, as you mentioned yourintro, I thought.
if I loved her enough, if Ishowed her enough love, if I
cared for her enough, it wouldturn her around.
But that, that does not work.
what we needed to do was to helpBill feel more self respect and
(09:45):
more self care for herself.
she was also struggling withweight issues at that time.
so was about looking at abaseline of where her life was
then and think about, okay, so,with some really basic
parameters.
how can we turn her life around?
How can we get up half an hourearlier a day?
How can we eat one more meal aday?
(10:05):
How can we get outside?
How can we have some sort ofexercise each day?
Which I mentioned earlier aboutthese, these tiny steps.
and we did arrive, as youmentioned in your intro, we did
arrive, at a mantra.
We arrived at this, uh, mantraor this saying is that you are
enough because she was thinkingthat she wasn't enough to deal
(10:26):
with her life and her problemsand the issues that she was
facing.
And I was attempting to tell herthat she was more than enough,
that she had to take thismassive action and that she was,
she was more than enough thatwas required.
And then what we both learnedtogether through one
conversation we had after dinnerone night was that.
All she really needed to thinkand believe.
(10:47):
Was that she was enough, likejust enough, not more than
enough, not less than enough.
Like I'm enough to get up in themorning.
I'm an, I'm enough to eat a goodmeal.
I'm enough to be loved.
I'm enough to be cared about.
and, that became a mantra forus.
it also meant magic that she hadto change, who she had as her so
called friends.
And I call them so calledfriends because it was a very
destructive group of people thatshe was with.
(11:10):
And we learn that you do becomewho you hang around.
so we, we gradually change thosepeople too, or she changed the
people, she was friends with andshe was, uh, she was hanging out
with, if you like, during theday and during the evening.
And, what we found was that weneeded to get, or she needed to
get more connected with herselfto find out who she really was.
(11:30):
And one tool we used that shefound really, really useful was
to think about herself in thefuture.
So, she would sit down near thebeach, uh, near where we live
and just look out at the ocean,close her eyes, just imagine
herself in the future.
And the future self she imaginedwas about three or four years
down the track.
And this girl was at uni, shewas doing a degree.
(11:52):
Um, she was in a relationshipand she was happy and she was
healthy and she imagined thatperson.
and then what Bell did was shewrote a letter from that future
self, from the future Bell tothe current Bell, like a letter
of love, if you like, but likesometimes what people do with,
with wounded child, they'll,they'll care about themselves in
(12:13):
the past when they're little.
in this case, what Bell wasdoing was caring for herself
from the future to the present.
Um, Which really helped her andshe journaled quite regularly
from her future self to herpresent self.
Now this began, this Nuff ideareally began working for her.
so much so that she said, dad, Ireally want to spread this
message.
And I said, really?
She said, yeah.
(12:33):
She said, I want to, I want to,like make some simple t shirts
and just for the Nuff on it,like just with N U F F Nuff on
it.
And people buy them.
I'm thinking who would buy a tshirt with Nuff on it?
But I thought, no, I care abouther.
I love her.
Uh, this can be part of, and itbecame part of her HSC project.
Cause she was in, she went backto school in year 11.
She missed a year of school andthis became a HSC project for
(12:56):
year 12.
So she started this business.
I'm thinking who's going to buythe, it could be a good HSC
project.
No one's going to buy theseshirts, but sure enough, I
bought a 200 T shirts in fourdifferent sizes from extra small
to extra large, uh, I advertisedthem on Facebook for Bell.
We started a little Shopify,store.
And they sold out in a bit lessthan a day, magic.
(13:21):
And I was amazed, I wassurprised.
Then Belle said, look, we've gotto package up each individually,
dad.
We've got to, uh, I'm going toput a note in with each person.
So she packaged them all upindividually, every, every t
shirt and we delivered them allto the Northern beaches, one
weekend just in the back of mycar.
And that started this Nuffbusiness.
(13:41):
I was thinking it would just bea, an idea that just lasts for
the HSC.
But she was very keen to spreadthe message and it wasn't the
message of just you're enough,which is a great message of and
by itself.
But what she was keen to do isto get people starting
conversations.
Like if you're wearing enough tshirt, people say, what's this
(14:01):
not about?
Oh, it's about feeling enough.
It just starts the conversationabout self esteem because quite
often what we were finding isthat a lot of people are
challenged with self esteem, butthey don't know how to start a
conversation with other people,either about how they're feeling
or about how they're feeling orthe other person's feeling.
So that's, that's how that, thatbusiness started.
(14:22):
It all started from a kitchenconversation that translated
into a HSC project that nowthree years later is a, going
concern, which no one is moresurprised than me, Magic.
Magic Barclay (14:34):
All right, for all the mums out there, I'm
going to ask, do they come inlarger sizes?
Peter Anthony (14:39):
They do.
They do.
They go from extra small toextra, extra large.
And we also do special orders,Manchik, because we had one, um,
one guy that contacted us.
He was on the North coast of NewSouth Wales.
He says, he said, do you do 5XL?
Uh, he sends a message and I runa message back, uh, no, but I'll
(15:00):
just double check.
I had a conversation with Belland said, Bell, we don't do 5XL.
She said, this, this guy was ina group of men, like large guys
that wanted to, uh, build theirself esteem and, and reduce
weight.
And they wanted to use this NUPidea for themselves.
So we made a special order of5XLs, which is the biggest shirt
I've seen, Magic.
(15:20):
Have you seen a 5XL shirt?
Magic Barclay (15:23):
Yes, sadly, I have, I used to wear one and
it's huge.
Peter Anthony (15:28):
It was, it was big.
I thought this is really cool.
So, um, we do, I mean, we go to,we go to double XL for the
regular, uh, the regular sizes,but we do special orders.
We've also, because most of whenwe look on Facebook and the
customers that we had and on, onShopify, most of our customers
are mums.
Originally I thought they'd beyoung women, just like Bell, but
(15:49):
no, most of them are mums.
Between say 45 and about 55 ish,uh, and they buy it for
themselves and they also buy itfor their friends.
I think you mentioned, youshowed us the Facebook, uh, you
mentioned the Facebook page andthe, the Instagram, there's
photos of our supporters there,like all the women that
originally supported thatprogram.
(16:10):
I call them the, the mum mafia,cause they basically took over
the business and, and spread theword themselves.
Um, so yeah, we did big, we didall sizes and the mums were also
requested kids sizes.
So we now got little likechildren's sizes too, like
larger and very small.
I love
Magic Barclay (16:30):
that.
And Peter, that that's such animportant message.
A lot of my listeners.
Uh, in the age group that I'min, like the 45 to 65 and, you
know, post divorce or once thekids are grown up, our lives
kind of change.
And there's still thatdemographic of women around the
(16:51):
world who tend to slip throughthe cracks because they lose
their self identity.
You know, they're no longer thewife, they're no longer the mom
of kids that need them everyday, they might be changing
careers.
And I think this is a reallyimportant message for that age
group, because sometimes you canfeel like, who am I?
(17:15):
Why am I here?
You know, what's my role?
And that anxiety can reallydrive you down a very dark road.
Peter Anthony (17:24):
Yeah, I, I, I believe that and I've had a lot
of experience hearing, um,people, uh, in our, in our
cohort or in our, what I callthe, um, the mum's mafia.
some have had kids that have,um, grown up and don't need them
anymore, or they've, they've,they've, they've separated or
divorced from their partners andthey, they find it hard to get a
sense of identity becausethey've been a mother or a
(17:46):
partner for most of their lives.
Uh, and thinking, well, who am Ireally, uh, and am, am I enough
as myself, as a woman, am Ienough in the world?
And it's very challenging,particularly now with social
media perceptions, and a lot ofpressure, on womankind a lot
more than that there is on, onmen.
So.
(18:06):
I hear that loud and clear fromour customers, uh, and women all
over the world feel the sameway.
I mean, we've been fortunateenough to, Bill and I, and
sometimes me, sometimes justher, sometimes both of us,
talked to, podcasts in the UK,in the US and Canada.
And we're finding people withthe same experiences all over
the world.
It's not just an Australianthing.
it's a global, a global issue.
(18:28):
And it's, it's very much aboutbeing separated from yourself
and not thinking that you'reenough.
to deal with reconnecting with,who you are.
Magic Barclay (18:38):
Exactly.
All right.
We've covered a lot here.
Is there something we haven'ttalked about that you feel the
listeners need to hear?
Peter Anthony (18:45):
No, I think, I think suggesting the main
things.
I mean, the main things is tohave a, a daily mantra.
The mantra, obviously, that Isuggest is that I'm enough.
I'm enough.
I'm enough to deal with it.
I'm enough.
Like, I am enough.
the second would be to, thinkabout whatever the, issues are
that are causing you anxiety, tothink of the tiniest possible
step that you can take.
(19:06):
Towards that particular goal,like to say, for example, I'm
thinking about I should be goingfor a walk and I'm not, what's
the tiniest step I could take?
I could just leave my runningshoes out to go for a walk in
the morning.
what's the tiniest step I cantake towards that goal?
and, the final one that, I'drecommend in addition to that in
mantras and tiny steps.
is to think about that letterfrom the future idea and think
(19:28):
about thinking about yourself inthe future, not like in an ideal
future, because no one lives anideal life, but think about
yourself in the future when youhave got past this issue that's
causing you anxiety, what yourlife will look like.
And reconnect with who you are,because that person that has
dealt with the issue is who youreally are, hence it's often
(19:49):
called the hero's journey, andit's always happy in the end,
and if it's not happy, it's notthe end.
Which means this is just one legof that journey that's full of
challenges, but the next leg isgoing to be one where you've
resolved those challenges,you've manifested yourself into
something bigger, brighter, andstronger than where you are now.
And you can celebrate that, inadvance, right back to yourself
(20:11):
in the present.
And use that as, as your, asyour guiding light, you are your
best helper.
You are your best guide.
You're your best coach.
Magic Barclay (20:20):
Love it.
Now we love freebies here.
So what can you offer thelisteners?
I know it's something thatrequires them to believe in
themselves and put themselvesout there.
So what is it?
Peter Anthony (20:33):
Well, I'm going to, I'm going to offer your
listeners, I'm going to ask themto do something.
I'm going to ask them to dosomething.
I want to hear a story from alistener.
a story about how they'veovercome some sort of adversity
in their life and they've had asense that they're enough to
deal with that adversity.
And if I get that, if we getthat story, uh, I'm happy to,
(20:56):
uh, to send them, a free shirtwith a size and color of their
choice.
and that they can see them onthe website.
If they want to check them out,that's you're enough.
com.
The most popular is, charcoalwith pig nuffs on it, but we've
also got white, uh, and purpleshirts too.
They can check those out, seewhat they like.
but for everyone, that sends ina story, to me, I'm very happy,
(21:20):
and as is Bell to send them, um,a free shirt to celebrate the
fact that they took that step.
How does that sound magic?
Magic Barclay (21:26):
That sounds gorgeous.
So the website iswww.youranuff.com.
That's right.
So you're enough.
It's a very Australian way ofdoing it, and I love it.
Peter Anthony (21:42):
You're enough.
You're enough.
We've had a lot of grief fromthe grammar.
Nazis magic about it should be.
You are enough, but that's notthe point.
The point is it's simple.
You are enough.
It's funny, it's Australian,it's not too complicated, and
it's meant to be a conversationstarter, not meant to be the
whole, the whole piece.
Magic Barclay (22:03):
And on Facebook, I'm enough, I M A N U F F.
And on Instagram, you're enough,which is Y O U R A N U F F.
Thank you so much, Peter, forjoining us.
Peter Anthony (22:19):
Absolute pleasure, Magic, and I hope your
listeners found something ofvalue from the conversation.
Magic Barclay (22:24):
And listeners, just remember that you are
enough and I'm enough.
We are all enough.
We're all enough.
Peter Anthony (22:32):
I've never had enough.
Magic Barclay (22:34):
All right.
Before we sign off, listeners,thank you so much for joining us
today and don't forget to like,review, subscribe, share, and go
forth and create your magicallife.
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