June 3, 2025 • 23 mins
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In this deeply personal and insightful episode of 'A Magical Life,' host Magic Barclay shares her experiences and observations on dealing with cancer, having faced it twice herself. She discusses the nature of cancer, the emotional turmoil of a diagnosis, and the importance of maintaining normalcy and supporting not just the patient, but also their support system. Magic emphasizes the need for honesty, emotional openness, and resilience, while providing valuable advice on how to handle the various challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of cancer's impact and learn how to support yourself and your loved ones through the journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Magic Barclay (00:42):
Welcome back to a Magical Life.
I'm your host, magic Barclay,and today I wanna talk about
cancer, the big C life, ender,disruptor, whatever you wanna
see it as.
It's something that most of ushopefully will never have to
with.
I have twice and so today.
(01:05):
This episode is basically basedon my own experience, my own
observation, and something thatI feel is really important for
people to know, to hear, and toconsider.
Now whether this has affectedyou or your family or friends,
or you've just heard of it andit's something that you fear, I
(01:29):
really wanna take some of.
What mainstream, ignore, andreally, you know, dissect some
ideas here.
So hopefully this episode, oops.
So hopefully this episoderesonates with you in some way.
(01:50):
Gets you thinking, stirs you upto consider what cancer really
is.
Let's get started.
Cancer itself is.
A diagnosis that to this day,shakes people to the core.
But what is it?
It is actually a collection ofdead cells.
(02:12):
It's your body's way of findingcells that are no longer
productive and putting them likein a collection, in a bin.
The cancer itself is the binwith the lid gaffer taped on or
electrical taped or whatever,and then welded and there's some
(02:32):
clamps on it, and it's reallyonly when we look at cut, burn
poison that it spreads.
Okay, so cut being surgery,burn, meaning radiation and
poison being chemo.
Now settle down.
Some of you're probably upsetthat I'm saying those things
(02:53):
don't always work.
And it's true because my firstcancer, I did surgery and it
didn't stop it coming back.
Same spot 10 years later.
So what is.
A dead cell?
Well, a dead cell is somethingthat's reached its lifecycle.
Cells are living, they arealive, and when they're not,
(03:17):
they're dead.
Obviously, like other organisms.
Sounds like I'm making light ofthe situation, but I'm really
not.
There's a natural process in ourbody called apoptosis or
programmed cell death.
Now cells have a lifespan, alife cycle, I guess, and.
(03:38):
They're supposed to die, but ourbody is supposed to be able to
clear it out.
What a cancer is is when there'stoo many dead cells.
Our body says, I can't get ridof this myself.
I need to plant this somewhere.
Put it somewhere safe.
Hopefully nothing ever happens,and you know, Bob's your uncle,
you're okay.
Doesn't always happen.
(03:58):
Okay?
So when we have excess toxins inour life, excess stress.
Anything that we've discussed,you know, previously in, in this
podcast, that toxicity createsmore of a situation for cancer.
So that's pretty much all themedical stuff we're going to
(04:21):
talk about in this episode.
What I really wanna touch on iswhat happens when you get a
diagnosis now, when you get adiagnosis, first of all, your
head is spinning.
When I got my first cancerdiagnosis, I felt like I was the
girl in the Exorcist, you know,with her head spinning round on
(04:42):
her shoulders, and there wasnothing I could do to process it
quickly or without emotion.
Without more stress.
And so this diagnosis in itselfwas creating toxicity in my
body, but I reached out to myfamily, people closest to me as
(05:08):
any normal person would do, andI did not see immediately the
effect that had on people.
So what I wanna talk.
To you today about is it's okayif you get this diagnosis to be
in your own feelings to processit your way, and it's okay to
(05:29):
reach out to those that you loveand care for knowing that they
love and care for you, andeveryone wants the same outcome,
which is your survival.
But be aware there's a flow oneffect of cancer.
It's not just you going throughit, it's your family.
Let me delve into that one a bitmore.
(05:50):
So, the first time I had cancer,my boys were young, they were 14
and 12, and I thought, you know,let's, let's shield them from
what's going on.
So they got a lot of mummies.
Okay, mum just needs to go tothe hospital for a bit, but
everything's fine.
(06:10):
Don't worry.
They had their grandmother withthem looking after them.
She was bearing the brunt ofeverything and shielding them as
I'd asked her to do.
And then I saw that theyactually knew more than I
thought they did.
(06:31):
Kids are inquisitive.
You tell them something's wrong,they're going to really delve
into the ifs, buts whys, andwherefores of the situation,
whether you like it or not.
So when I got home fromhospital, I was honest with
them.
I said that I'd had cancer andthat I'd had surgery and
(06:51):
everything was going to be fine.
And you know, just for a littlewhile, I need to take things a
little bit differently and Ineed their help with things and
everything was fine.
And then as they got a bitolder, they started talking to
me about the things that theywere thinking and feeling.
And you know what?
It wasn't so much that theirlife had changed or you know,
(07:16):
anything like that.
They were more worried about howI was processing things.
So they were turning themselvesinside out with emotions.
Based on how they thought I wasprocessing it.
So it's really important when weget a cancer diagnosis that we
(07:36):
look at our support system andwe make sure they have a support
system too.
And that may be us, and it maybe the last thing we we're
unwell that we wanna deal with,but we need to, everyone needs
to be honest about it, say howyou're feeling and work through
it together.
(07:56):
You need to support the supportbasically.
So a second time around wasquite recently, same place, you
know, same kind of cancer anduh, obviously some cells had
been left behind and more cellscollected.
And I've got another cancer thistime round.
(08:18):
My kids are in their earlytwenties, so I told them what it
was straight away.
And I told them, it's okay to bescared.
It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to wanna scream to thetop of your lungs.
Whatever you need to do, do it.
We got out our boxing gloves andpads and we did a bit of a
(08:41):
training session, and I said,get your anger out now because I
need you and I need you tosupport me, but I also know that
you need support.
So we did that and we talkedabout it and a bit of PTSD came
up for all of us.
And of course when I had to betrotted off to hospital this
(09:02):
time, no surgery, my neck did itall itself.
My younger son spoke to thesurgeon.
So I was under observation goingto have surgery, but my neck
decided to open up and push thecancer out itself.
Long story, but Needless to say,there were a couple of little
(09:23):
episodes where I wasn't able toadvocate for myself.
So my son did it and he spoke tothe surgeon and he said, listen,
you guys stuffed it up lasttime.
Don't stuff it up this time, orI'm going to come down there and
be your worst nightmare,basically.
And he needed to say that and heneeded to vent.
(09:44):
When I was able to, the surgeonspoke to me about it and he
said, I realize this young manis traumatized.
So I took his vent and let himdo that, and then spoke to him
calmly when he calmed down and Ithanked the surgeon for it.
Wonderful guy.
(10:04):
I've spoken to him since, and hesaid, I could sense that your
son was traumatized.
So I let him work through it.
Now, thank goodness for thisguy, right?
Thank goodness that he let myson vent and get that emotion
out and not be able to twisthimself in knots with it, not
(10:30):
poison himself with the anger.
Maybe you don't have someonelike that.
Maybe you need to create someonelike that.
When we're going through cancer,this is kind of the last thing
we think of.
We don't think of the flow oneffect to our families.
We're so busy thinking about ourown mortality, and again,
(10:54):
speaking from my own personalexperience here, but if this
resonates with you, please lookafter your support crew because
they need support too.
They don't necessarily need tobook in with a psychologist and
you know, do the whole formal, Ineed to talk to someone thing.
(11:15):
Maybe they just need to go for awalk with you.
Maybe they need to do a boxingsession.
Maybe they just need to screamat someone who can take it and
understand it's not on them.
Right?
This is not directed anger.
This is.
Confusion and fear and you know,all the other emotions that our
(11:40):
support crew go through.
So that's when you get adiagnosis.
What happens when you get sometreatment?
No matter what the treatment is,it's not going to be fun, right?
I'm just telling you this.
Now, whether you go the medicalroute or the natural route.
(12:03):
It is not going to be fun.
There's going to be times thatyou feel like crap.
For me, it was the nausea, itwas the being able to smell
things that no one else could.
It was, you know, get up fromthe couch, walk five steps, and
feel like you're absolutelygoing to bring up your
(12:24):
breakfast.
Then it goes down again.
Like that was horrible.
Okay.
But it was being honest aboutthat with my support crew,
letting them know what I wasgoing through, because they need
to know my kids could not eatcertain meats in the house
(12:48):
because.
The smell would just send meoff.
Kind of like pregnancy, morningsickness times a thousand.
So when you are going throughthis, be honest with what you're
going through.
Don't try and sugarcoat things.
Don't try and shield people fromanything.
(13:09):
Let them know if they can'thandle it and they disappear.
That's on them now.
Back in season one, I believe itmight've been episode 10.
I spoke to a very dear friend ofmine, Sophie, who has
metastasized cancer, and wespoke about this.
(13:29):
Then go back and listen to it,but I'm going to basically say
it all over again and it is whenyou have a cancer diagnosis,
some of your friends dunno howto deal with it, and so they
don't invite you to things.
I.
They know you're going to sayno, so they just don't invite
you to things or they try andshield you from things.
(13:54):
Don't do that.
Invite your person with cancerinto things in your life.
Give them the opportunity to, ifthey're having a good day to
attend or give them theopportunity to decline.
But give them the opportunitybecause when you've got cancer,
(14:15):
you need to keep your lifemoving normally as much as
possible.
And it's the not being invitedto things, the over shielding of
things that hurts so much.
You're already going throughhell.
You don't need to be emotionallydismissed or discarded as well,
(14:36):
or overprotected, any of that.
Whatever the action is comingfrom, from your friends, you
don't need it.
So tell people, treat menormally.
I need to do things a bitdifferently.
I may not be able to come,whatever, but treat me normally.
Let me make the adjustments.
(14:59):
Now, having said that, don'tmake too many adjustments in
your life for cancer.
because you are part of afamily, you are part of a
friendship group, you are aneighbor, you are a coworker, a
colleague, you may be a boss.
Whatever it is that you are, youstill need to be that you are
(15:22):
not a cancer.
Person, every moment of everyday, you are still you.
And so you need thatopportunity, but you need to
give that opportunity to thepeople around you as well for
some sort of normality in life.
It's really, really importantthat you do not ever let cancer
(15:44):
take over your life.
So this is something else thatcame up.
Along my journey.
It was not being invited tothings.
It was people when they cameover, really treating me like an
invalid.
I'm not.
I'm perfectly fine apart fromwhat's going on in my case, in
(16:07):
my neck, and it's reallyimportant that life goes on.
This is while you've got cancer.
So you've had your diagnosisgiven to you.
Now you've got the cancer,you're dealing with it.
You're doing whatever treatmentit is that you are doing.
What happens after, and this isreally important.
(16:29):
It's really important that youget on with your life, okay?
It's really important that yougo, okay, I've beaten this.
If it comes back, I will beat itagain.
I need to live my life.
You need to check in with yourspecial people, your support
crew, your family, whoever itis, and you need to go.
(16:51):
We've all been through this.
I get it.
It wasn't just me, but we'reokay now.
If your cancer is something thatyou can't beat.
This is really important aswell.
It's important that you givepermission to your support crew
(17:12):
to have their emotions aroundyou, because a lot of support
crew will try not to cry infront of you.
They will try not to show thatthey're scared or that they're
angry.
It's okay.
For them to have emotions infront of you.
It won't break you completely.
You'll survive their emotions.
(17:36):
Maybe your cancer's notsomething you can survive, but
you need to be able to giveother people a chance to have
that emotional closure andemotional acceptance.
Because if you are gone fromthis planet, you are leaving
them with that, and that's notokay.
(17:56):
This comes down to our pets aswell.
Now, something I noticed thelast time I had cancer was my
little kitten spent her wholetime with her arm across my
neck.
We'd snuggle in bed and insteadof just laying beside me, she
would make sure some part of herwas across my neck.
(18:20):
Usually an arm, sometimes atail, whatever.
She felt like she needed to helpheal me, to touch me, and that
was okay.
You know, my neck was very, verysore and had bandages on it, so
you know, she wasn't gonna getany fur in it or anything, but
(18:42):
she knew it was there.
She wanted to help heal me.
Allow your pets near you.
You cannot live your life insterility.
You cannot live your lifeWorried about every single germ.
And I know this is weird'causeyou know, when we go to a
(19:02):
hospital, everything's sterileand cleaned and whatever,
there's other things that we getfrom our animals.
That is the vibration of a purror just even the love that comes
from any animal.
We need that and they need togive it to us.
(19:25):
Could I have, you know, keptshooing her away from my neck?
Definitely.
Did it hurt a bit?
Every time she put her armacross my neck?
Yeah, it did.
But she needed to do it.
And then when I came back fromhospital and I was healing, she
needed to be able to sniff meand check me out and make sure
(19:46):
that I was still me it.
And then when everything healedup, it was important that our
life went on as normal.
Had it changed?
Yes.
It had definitely, but anyamount of normality that you can
bring back to life will help youheal.
(20:07):
My neck is fully healed now.
I'm keeping an eye on things.
My kitten will still check outmy neck.
She'll still sniff.
There's no open wounds oranything, and she'll still check
it out and that's okay.
She wants to make sure hermum's.
Going to be fine and my kidswill still eat things that make
(20:31):
me nauseous, and that's okay.
Life goes on.
They will panic when I'm turninggreen in the gills.
They'll say, are you sick again?
And I'll just say, no, Iactually just don't like that
smell.
Probably may never, ever likethat smell again, but I'm just
telling you I don't like it.
(20:52):
Do they change what they'reeating?
No, because I haven't asked themto.
I have not asked them to changetheir lives whatsoever.
My reaction to it is my reactionto it.
It doesn't need to be theirproblem.
And I guess this is the crux ofthis conversation, and that is
that you are not the only persondealing with the cancer.
(21:13):
You are the person with thecancer.
But you are not the only persondealing with the cancer, so be
aware of the people around you.
Allow them to have theiremotions.
Allow them to have their fears,their anxiety, whatever it is.
Ask them for normality.
(21:34):
Normality in their behavior.
Normality in being invited tothings, normality when people
see you.
Keep life going because thebiggest part of a cancer
diagnosis is if it's survivable.
You don't want it to decimateyour life.
(21:58):
Pretty thick, heavy stuff today.
And you know what?
It's important that we have thisconversation as always, if you
like.
Subscribe, share, and leave us areview of this podcast.
We would be eternally grateful.
And my last message is cancerdoes not need to be the end of
(22:20):
you.
Maybe it's the beginning of astronger, more resilient,
better.
You enjoy your magical life.
Don't let cancer steal it.
And we'll talk to you next time.
Bye.
Welcome back to a Magical Life.
I'm your host, magic Barclay,and today I wanna talk about
cancer, the big C life, ender,disruptor, whatever you wanna
see it as.
It's something that most of ushopefully will never have to
with.
I have twice and so today.
(01:05):
This episode is basically basedon my own experience, my own
observation, and something thatI feel is really important for
people to know, to hear, and toconsider.
Now whether this has affectedyou or your family or friends,
or you've just heard of it andit's something that you fear, I
(01:29):
really wanna take some of.
What mainstream, ignore, andreally, you know, dissect some
ideas here.
So hopefully this episode, oops.
So hopefully this episoderesonates with you in some way.
(01:50):
Gets you thinking, stirs you upto consider what cancer really
is.
Let's get started.
Cancer itself is.
A diagnosis that to this day,shakes people to the core.
But what is it?
It is actually a collection ofdead cells.
(02:12):
It's your body's way of findingcells that are no longer
productive and putting them likein a collection, in a bin.
The cancer itself is the binwith the lid gaffer taped on or
electrical taped or whatever,and then welded and there's some
(02:32):
clamps on it, and it's reallyonly when we look at cut, burn
poison that it spreads.
Okay, so cut being surgery,burn, meaning radiation and
poison being chemo.
Now settle down.
Some of you're probably upsetthat I'm saying those things
(02:53):
don't always work.
And it's true because my firstcancer, I did surgery and it
didn't stop it coming back.
Same spot 10 years later.
So what is.
A dead cell?
Well, a dead cell is somethingthat's reached its lifecycle.
Cells are living, they arealive, and when they're not,
(03:17):
they're dead.
Obviously, like other organisms.
Sounds like I'm making light ofthe situation, but I'm really
not.
There's a natural process in ourbody called apoptosis or
programmed cell death.
Now cells have a lifespan, alife cycle, I guess, and.
(03:38):
They're supposed to die, but ourbody is supposed to be able to
clear it out.
What a cancer is is when there'stoo many dead cells.
Our body says, I can't get ridof this myself.
I need to plant this somewhere.
Put it somewhere safe.
Hopefully nothing ever happens,and you know, Bob's your uncle,
you're okay.
Doesn't always happen.
(03:58):
Okay?
So when we have excess toxins inour life, excess stress.
Anything that we've discussed,you know, previously in, in this
podcast, that toxicity createsmore of a situation for cancer.
So that's pretty much all themedical stuff we're going to
(04:21):
talk about in this episode.
What I really wanna touch on iswhat happens when you get a
diagnosis now, when you get adiagnosis, first of all, your
head is spinning.
When I got my first cancerdiagnosis, I felt like I was the
girl in the Exorcist, you know,with her head spinning round on
(04:42):
her shoulders, and there wasnothing I could do to process it
quickly or without emotion.
Without more stress.
And so this diagnosis in itselfwas creating toxicity in my
body, but I reached out to myfamily, people closest to me as
(05:08):
any normal person would do, andI did not see immediately the
effect that had on people.
So what I wanna talk.
To you today about is it's okayif you get this diagnosis to be
in your own feelings to processit your way, and it's okay to
(05:29):
reach out to those that you loveand care for knowing that they
love and care for you, andeveryone wants the same outcome,
which is your survival.
But be aware there's a flow oneffect of cancer.
It's not just you going throughit, it's your family.
Let me delve into that one a bitmore.
(05:50):
So, the first time I had cancer,my boys were young, they were 14
and 12, and I thought, you know,let's, let's shield them from
what's going on.
So they got a lot of mummies.
Okay, mum just needs to go tothe hospital for a bit, but
everything's fine.
(06:10):
Don't worry.
They had their grandmother withthem looking after them.
She was bearing the brunt ofeverything and shielding them as
I'd asked her to do.
And then I saw that theyactually knew more than I
thought they did.
(06:31):
Kids are inquisitive.
You tell them something's wrong,they're going to really delve
into the ifs, buts whys, andwherefores of the situation,
whether you like it or not.
So when I got home fromhospital, I was honest with
them.
I said that I'd had cancer andthat I'd had surgery and
(06:51):
everything was going to be fine.
And you know, just for a littlewhile, I need to take things a
little bit differently and Ineed their help with things and
everything was fine.
And then as they got a bitolder, they started talking to
me about the things that theywere thinking and feeling.
And you know what?
It wasn't so much that theirlife had changed or you know,
(07:16):
anything like that.
They were more worried about howI was processing things.
So they were turning themselvesinside out with emotions.
Based on how they thought I wasprocessing it.
So it's really important when weget a cancer diagnosis that we
(07:36):
look at our support system andwe make sure they have a support
system too.
And that may be us, and it maybe the last thing we we're
unwell that we wanna deal with,but we need to, everyone needs
to be honest about it, say howyou're feeling and work through
it together.
(07:56):
You need to support the supportbasically.
So a second time around wasquite recently, same place, you
know, same kind of cancer anduh, obviously some cells had
been left behind and more cellscollected.
And I've got another cancer thistime round.
(08:18):
My kids are in their earlytwenties, so I told them what it
was straight away.
And I told them, it's okay to bescared.
It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to wanna scream to thetop of your lungs.
Whatever you need to do, do it.
We got out our boxing gloves andpads and we did a bit of a
(08:41):
training session, and I said,get your anger out now because I
need you and I need you tosupport me, but I also know that
you need support.
So we did that and we talkedabout it and a bit of PTSD came
up for all of us.
And of course when I had to betrotted off to hospital this
(09:02):
time, no surgery, my neck did itall itself.
My younger son spoke to thesurgeon.
So I was under observation goingto have surgery, but my neck
decided to open up and push thecancer out itself.
Long story, but Needless to say,there were a couple of little
(09:23):
episodes where I wasn't able toadvocate for myself.
So my son did it and he spoke tothe surgeon and he said, listen,
you guys stuffed it up lasttime.
Don't stuff it up this time, orI'm going to come down there and
be your worst nightmare,basically.
And he needed to say that and heneeded to vent.
(09:44):
When I was able to, the surgeonspoke to me about it and he
said, I realize this young manis traumatized.
So I took his vent and let himdo that, and then spoke to him
calmly when he calmed down and Ithanked the surgeon for it.
Wonderful guy.
(10:04):
I've spoken to him since, and hesaid, I could sense that your
son was traumatized.
So I let him work through it.
Now, thank goodness for thisguy, right?
Thank goodness that he let myson vent and get that emotion
out and not be able to twisthimself in knots with it, not
(10:30):
poison himself with the anger.
Maybe you don't have someonelike that.
Maybe you need to create someonelike that.
When we're going through cancer,this is kind of the last thing
we think of.
We don't think of the flow oneffect to our families.
We're so busy thinking about ourown mortality, and again,
(10:54):
speaking from my own personalexperience here, but if this
resonates with you, please lookafter your support crew because
they need support too.
They don't necessarily need tobook in with a psychologist and
you know, do the whole formal, Ineed to talk to someone thing.
(11:15):
Maybe they just need to go for awalk with you.
Maybe they need to do a boxingsession.
Maybe they just need to screamat someone who can take it and
understand it's not on them.
Right?
This is not directed anger.
This is.
Confusion and fear and you know,all the other emotions that our
(11:40):
support crew go through.
So that's when you get adiagnosis.
What happens when you get sometreatment?
No matter what the treatment is,it's not going to be fun, right?
I'm just telling you this.
Now, whether you go the medicalroute or the natural route.
(12:03):
It is not going to be fun.
There's going to be times thatyou feel like crap.
For me, it was the nausea, itwas the being able to smell
things that no one else could.
It was, you know, get up fromthe couch, walk five steps, and
feel like you're absolutelygoing to bring up your
(12:24):
breakfast.
Then it goes down again.
Like that was horrible.
Okay.
But it was being honest aboutthat with my support crew,
letting them know what I wasgoing through, because they need
to know my kids could not eatcertain meats in the house
(12:48):
because.
The smell would just send meoff.
Kind of like pregnancy, morningsickness times a thousand.
So when you are going throughthis, be honest with what you're
going through.
Don't try and sugarcoat things.
Don't try and shield people fromanything.
(13:09):
Let them know if they can'thandle it and they disappear.
That's on them now.
Back in season one, I believe itmight've been episode 10.
I spoke to a very dear friend ofmine, Sophie, who has
metastasized cancer, and wespoke about this.
(13:29):
Then go back and listen to it,but I'm going to basically say
it all over again and it is whenyou have a cancer diagnosis,
some of your friends dunno howto deal with it, and so they
don't invite you to things.
I.
They know you're going to sayno, so they just don't invite
you to things or they try andshield you from things.
(13:54):
Don't do that.
Invite your person with cancerinto things in your life.
Give them the opportunity to, ifthey're having a good day to
attend or give them theopportunity to decline.
But give them the opportunitybecause when you've got cancer,
(14:15):
you need to keep your lifemoving normally as much as
possible.
And it's the not being invitedto things, the over shielding of
things that hurts so much.
You're already going throughhell.
You don't need to be emotionallydismissed or discarded as well,
(14:36):
or overprotected, any of that.
Whatever the action is comingfrom, from your friends, you
don't need it.
So tell people, treat menormally.
I need to do things a bitdifferently.
I may not be able to come,whatever, but treat me normally.
Let me make the adjustments.
(14:59):
Now, having said that, don'tmake too many adjustments in
your life for cancer.
because you are part of afamily, you are part of a
friendship group, you are aneighbor, you are a coworker, a
colleague, you may be a boss.
Whatever it is that you are, youstill need to be that you are
(15:22):
not a cancer.
Person, every moment of everyday, you are still you.
And so you need thatopportunity, but you need to
give that opportunity to thepeople around you as well for
some sort of normality in life.
It's really, really importantthat you do not ever let cancer
(15:44):
take over your life.
So this is something else thatcame up.
Along my journey.
It was not being invited tothings.
It was people when they cameover, really treating me like an
invalid.
I'm not.
I'm perfectly fine apart fromwhat's going on in my case, in
(16:07):
my neck, and it's reallyimportant that life goes on.
This is while you've got cancer.
So you've had your diagnosisgiven to you.
Now you've got the cancer,you're dealing with it.
You're doing whatever treatmentit is that you are doing.
What happens after, and this isreally important.
(16:29):
It's really important that youget on with your life, okay?
It's really important that yougo, okay, I've beaten this.
If it comes back, I will beat itagain.
I need to live my life.
You need to check in with yourspecial people, your support
crew, your family, whoever itis, and you need to go.
(16:51):
We've all been through this.
I get it.
It wasn't just me, but we'reokay now.
If your cancer is something thatyou can't beat.
This is really important aswell.
It's important that you givepermission to your support crew
(17:12):
to have their emotions aroundyou, because a lot of support
crew will try not to cry infront of you.
They will try not to show thatthey're scared or that they're
angry.
It's okay.
For them to have emotions infront of you.
It won't break you completely.
You'll survive their emotions.
(17:36):
Maybe your cancer's notsomething you can survive, but
you need to be able to giveother people a chance to have
that emotional closure andemotional acceptance.
Because if you are gone fromthis planet, you are leaving
them with that, and that's notokay.
(17:56):
This comes down to our pets aswell.
Now, something I noticed thelast time I had cancer was my
little kitten spent her wholetime with her arm across my
neck.
We'd snuggle in bed and insteadof just laying beside me, she
would make sure some part of herwas across my neck.
(18:20):
Usually an arm, sometimes atail, whatever.
She felt like she needed to helpheal me, to touch me, and that
was okay.
You know, my neck was very, verysore and had bandages on it, so
you know, she wasn't gonna getany fur in it or anything, but
(18:42):
she knew it was there.
She wanted to help heal me.
Allow your pets near you.
You cannot live your life insterility.
You cannot live your lifeWorried about every single germ.
And I know this is weird'causeyou know, when we go to a
(19:02):
hospital, everything's sterileand cleaned and whatever,
there's other things that we getfrom our animals.
That is the vibration of a purror just even the love that comes
from any animal.
We need that and they need togive it to us.
(19:25):
Could I have, you know, keptshooing her away from my neck?
Definitely.
Did it hurt a bit?
Every time she put her armacross my neck?
Yeah, it did.
But she needed to do it.
And then when I came back fromhospital and I was healing, she
needed to be able to sniff meand check me out and make sure
(19:46):
that I was still me it.
And then when everything healedup, it was important that our
life went on as normal.
Had it changed?
Yes.
It had definitely, but anyamount of normality that you can
bring back to life will help youheal.
(20:07):
My neck is fully healed now.
I'm keeping an eye on things.
My kitten will still check outmy neck.
She'll still sniff.
There's no open wounds oranything, and she'll still check
it out and that's okay.
She wants to make sure hermum's.
Going to be fine and my kidswill still eat things that make
(20:31):
me nauseous, and that's okay.
Life goes on.
They will panic when I'm turninggreen in the gills.
They'll say, are you sick again?
And I'll just say, no, Iactually just don't like that
smell.
Probably may never, ever likethat smell again, but I'm just
telling you I don't like it.
(20:52):
Do they change what they'reeating?
No, because I haven't asked themto.
I have not asked them to changetheir lives whatsoever.
My reaction to it is my reactionto it.
It doesn't need to be theirproblem.
And I guess this is the crux ofthis conversation, and that is
that you are not the only persondealing with the cancer.
(21:13):
You are the person with thecancer.
But you are not the only persondealing with the cancer, so be
aware of the people around you.
Allow them to have theiremotions.
Allow them to have their fears,their anxiety, whatever it is.
Ask them for normality.
(21:34):
Normality in their behavior.
Normality in being invited tothings, normality when people
see you.
Keep life going because thebiggest part of a cancer
diagnosis is if it's survivable.
You don't want it to decimateyour life.
(21:58):
Pretty thick, heavy stuff today.
And you know what?
It's important that we have thisconversation as always, if you
like.
Subscribe, share, and leave us areview of this podcast.
We would be eternally grateful.
And my last message is cancerdoes not need to be the end of
(22:20):
you.
Maybe it's the beginning of astronger, more resilient,
better.
You enjoy your magical life.
Don't let cancer steal it.
And we'll talk to you next time.
Bye.
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