Breaking Free from Scarcity Mindset: Attraction Over Chasing

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Have you ever felt that gnawing disappointment when a seemingly perfect client prospect suddenly ghosts you after weeks of promising conversations? That painful experience reveals a crucial truth about business relationships: the energy we bring to client acquisition directly impacts the quality of clients we attract.

This conversation dives deep into the fundamental difference between operating from scarcity versus abundance in your business. When you find yourself pursuing clients primarily because "they can afford it" rather than because "they're a good fit," you've already positioned yourself in a dangerous scarcity mindset. This subtle but powerful distinction affects everything from your sales approach to the fulfillment you experience working with clients.

The most transformative insight comes in understanding the difference between masculine "chase" energy and feminine "attraction" energy in business development. Clients who come to you through your authentic presence tend to fuel your passion throughout your work together. Meanwhile, those you've had to persistently pursue often continue requiring that same exhausting energy, leaving you drained and resentful. By turning inward and raising your own frequency instead of desperately hunting for the next client, you create a magnetic field that naturally draws perfect-fit prospects to you.

Getting crystal clear about exactly whom you serve allows you to recognize misalignments immediately and confidently refer those prospects elsewhere. This clarity might feel risky when bills are due, but it's actually your pathway to sustainable success and genuine fulfillment. The temporary pain of rejecting an imperfect opportunity pales compared to the long-term drain of working with misaligned clients. Are you ready to shift from chasing to attracting? Your ideal clients are waiting for the authentic you to show up.

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Themes: Emotional Mastery, Mindset, Storytelling, Confidence, Health & Productivity, Creativity, Communication Skills, Business, Movement, Meditation, Mindfulness, Manifestation, Resilience, Letting Go, Surrender, Feminine Energy, Masculine Energy, Love, Personal Growth.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay.
So for this client, the firstthing that I heard you say when
you were talking about thescenario early on in the story
was he can afford it, right,that you are going to continue
to pursue this relationship,this connection, this contract,
because he can afford it.
Versus.

(00:21):
I was hoping you were going tosay he's a good fit, versus I
was hoping you were going to sayhe's a good fit, because the
moment you said I'm doing itbecause he can afford it, that
let me believe that we're doingthis from scarcity and not from
abundance, meaning we'reselecting a client based on
their ability to pay, not theirability to be a good match and a
good frequency and somethingthat excites you, someone that

(00:44):
you actually desire to help andwork with.
That's what we're looking forto have a good match, right.
So the pain that you're feelingafter having this letdown right
, you were being let on andthat's such a terrible
experience.

(01:05):
I've been there so many timeswhere someone says they give you
their word and they say, yes,we're going to move forward with
the contract in that way.
Yes, I'm going to do this thing.
Yes, this is how much you'regoing to get paid.
This is what my expectationsare perfect, everything seems
super, and then time passes andyou keep following up and you

(01:26):
keep following up and then itjust gets drawn out and drawn
out and you keep getting toldand appeased over and over and
over and over again, until theyfinally turn it back around on
you, pin it on you and make itseem like that's not what we
talked about.
I don't know what you mean andstart to gaslight you, and
that's never fun, because it isenergetic time and investment.

(01:50):
It's more than just the act ofsending follow-up emails or
calls or whatever.
It's actually the thoughts andthe energy that we give to these
things in the background.
And so the advice I would give,or the thing that came up for
me, was neutrality, because whenwe stay neutral in the sales

(02:14):
process, it allows us to not getsucked into.
Oh, this person can afford it.
You start hearing numbers abouthow much they make or how much
they're spending in other areasof their life and you start to
say, if they spend that moneythere, they can spend that money
with me.
And that takes you out ofneutrality, because neutrality
is okay.
Yeah, if they want to work withme, great.

(02:36):
If they don't, great.
If it's a good fit for themawesome.
If they can afford it, great.
If they can't, great.
Who knows?
If someone's making a milliondollars a year but spending
$999,000 a year and only hasthat extra thousand dollars to
invest, like who knows whatsomeone's situation actually is,

(02:56):
you don't know that you have tomaintain neutrality, which is
where it leads me to cool Jaina.
How do I stay neutral and stillmake money in my business?
Because I have to make money.
You're feeling that crunch,You're feeling that time tick.
And here's the thing is likewhere our attention goes, the

(03:16):
energy flows right, and so wewant to be really mindful of
where we are sending ourattention and our energy.
We are sending our attentionand our energy.
So, instead of thinking abouthow can I transition these
coaching clients into mybusiness, how can I go out and
find these people, turn inwardand attract, do what you can to

(03:39):
raise your own frequency.
Get into spaces where you doget to share about yourself, but
you're not looking for clients,you're just going.
You're just being yourself andsharing about yourself.
There is no intention to walkaway with a client, there's just
an intention to be there, andwhen you just have that
intention to connect with peopleand have a good time.
You have a very high frequency,a very high vibration.

(04:02):
It's a strong feminine energyof just being present in the
moment, being yourself, whichleads to a lot of attraction
energy, which means people getattracted to you and they're
like who is this person?
I need to talk to them.
That's what we want to do whenyou're going into these
networking rooms.
It's about just being present.

(04:23):
It's not about, oh, I got toadd value.
How can I add value?
What can I say to be great?
No, like sometimes just beingthere and listening, asking good
questions, that other peoplecan have the spotlight, that can
be the greatest solution.
But you have to allow yourselfto shift into that energy.
You have to allow yourself toset the intention of just having

(04:45):
fun and knowing that by justhaving fun the money will follow
.
But when we go into a roomseeking money, money runs away
from us because it can tell I'vebeen on the side of the fence
where people look at you like awallet.
They look at you like well,they look at you like, well,

(05:05):
this person's got money, so letme get some from them.
And that's what it feels likeon the other side of the fence,
of that frequency you'rebringing into the room when you
are looking for clients.
So instead, go in with thefeminine energy, get yourself
into a flow state, a fun vibe,jam out to some good music on
your way there and just walk inand have fun.

(05:27):
Look to connect with people,because what I've learned is
that when I get clients from mymasculine sales energy, which is
the chase call, follow up likeit leads to a client who utterly
drains me the entire time thatI have that client, versus when
I've had clients who come to meand I use the feminine sales

(05:51):
process, which is just being me,creating the things I create,
putting it out there, and thenthey go.
Oh my gosh, I love that.
Can I be a part of that?
And they attract to me.
Those clients fuel me.
Those are the clients I show upover and over and over and I
don't care if they're asking formore beyond their contract.
Those clients fuel me becausethey were attracted to me and my

(06:13):
energy and that attraction tomy energy then led to this
relationship of they'reconstantly being attracted to me
again and again and again andagain because I'm being coming
from the feminine and they'rejust attracting right to that,
versus when I go and I chase toget that client, then I'm

(06:37):
constantly in the masculine,which means even in the coaching
process I'm chasing them.
I don't want to chase my clientduring the coaching process, not
at all.
I want to be able to offer abuffet of information, a buffet
of tools, a buffet of optionsand let them determine what they

(06:58):
want to do to get to wherethey're going, and then I just
assist and guide them throughthe process of doing so.
And sometimes there is room forjust a little kick in the root
chakra and get a little,challenging them a little bit
and push.
But that's what is going toshift and that's what's going to
actually bring the money intoyour world.

(07:19):
That you're looking for isreally focusing on the intention
of attracting versus chasing.
And it can be so scary to sit inthe attraction energy because
it's uncertain, because youdon't know.
But if you can get so clear onexactly what you are attracting

(07:46):
and you speak to nothing butthat, you will attract that into
your world.
But if you're not clear andthis is the thing we got to be
really, really careful with isthat you could very well flip on
the attraction energy and notknow who you're attracting and
speak to everyone and then beoverwhelmed and have everyone's

(08:09):
opinion and no solution for it,no money coming in, because I've
gone viral and I didn't makeany extra money from it because
I was speaking to everybody andnobody knew that it was for them
.
It was just so wide.
And I've also been in thesituation where I got clear and
I attracted the wrong personbecause I got clear on who I

(08:31):
wanted but I wasn't speaking theright language and the language
and the visual and the wholeaspect of the messaging was
attracting the wrong person.
But I was clear on who it wasattracting because it was
attracting the same version ofthe wrong person.
But that's the point is that yougot to get first very clear on

(08:52):
who you're serving, how you'reserving them, exactly what that
client looks like, so that it'sno longer can they afford it and
it's.
Are they a good fit?
Do they excite me?
Is this a good match for what Ioffer, the unique offering that
I have, or could they get thiselsewhere?
Is this a generic offering thatthey're asking for?

(09:12):
Because I no longer do genericofferings.
I'm here to offer a very smallsubset of things and if it's
outside of that you're not myideal client.
And if you don't fall withinlike a couple point range of my
ideal client, I'm not going towork with you, because it's only
going to dilute my brand.
And so to be so clear as to whoyou're talking to, that you only

(09:36):
ever give your attention tothose people who fit that mold.
You only ever speak to idealclients, only ever follow up
with ideal clients.
The moment you see a red flag,the moment you recognize they're
not a good fit, you give them aresource, you send them a
referral, you say this is notgoing to be a good fit.

(09:58):
Here's your next steps to goelsewhere.
Right, that's it.
And when you can get so clearon that, that's when you know
you're coming from abundance.
And it can be hard to make thatshift when you're currently in
a scarce place and you can't seethe certainty on the other side
.
You don't know that this isexactly going to work and you're
thinking I thought I was goingto get thousands of dollars from

(10:20):
this thing and it just fellthrough and now you feel like
you're scrambling and that's thespiral.
Stop the spiral.
Meditate, ho'oponopono, sit down, get clear, find neutrality,

(10:46):
find the space that you don'tget excited when you get the new
client.
You also don't get a negativeresponse when you have another
bill hit that you weren'texpecting.
Right, finding neutrality inall things Right.
It's like your day should lookexactly the same if it's the
most money you've ever made,even if it's the next day and
you lose everything you've everhad.
Those days should be the exactsame.

(11:07):
Neutrality, because youunderstand that you could gain
it all back on the third daybecause life is unpredictable.
That's the one thing we canpredict about life is that it's
unpredictable.
So your job is to become neutral.
Your job is to turn inward.
Your job is to simply be sopresent and so you that you only

(11:33):
attract those things that arean ideal match for you, because
your frequency is so clear as toexactly who you're talking to,
exactly what you're serving themand exactly who they are going
to become on the other side ofworking with you.
So figure that out and justwalk into rooms and be that

(11:57):
energy, mirror, that energy, andpeople will look at you and go.
I want to talk to him, I wantto talk to her, I want to talk
to that person because I see aversion of myself in them and I
want more of that in my life andthat is the positive, feminine
sales process and that's whennetworking gets really, really

(12:19):
fun and we are not left in thepain of these moments where we
get rejected and let on.
Because the pain that we'refeeling in that moment, that
pain that you're sitting inright now after thinking you
were going to have this massivedeal and seeing it completely
flip in your face, that pain iscoming from a loss of self-trust

(12:41):
.
It has nothing to do with theother person.
It has everything to do withthe fact that you thought you
saw all of the signs for greenflags and now you're recognizing
that maybe you had the wrongsunglasses on and it distorted
the colors of those flags andyou were actually seeing red
flags but you were turning themgreen.

(13:03):
That lack of self-trust, that'swhat hurts.
It's okay because you canrebuild that self-trust One day
at a time.
You can rebuild that self-trustone day at a time.
You can rebuild that self-trustEvery time you show up and you
uphold the boundaries that youset with your business, your

(13:31):
brand, your brain, your body.
Every single time you followthrough with the thing you said
you were going to do and you sayno to the things that look so
easy, look so nice.
Oh, I just have to do this.
It's right there at myfingertips.
When you say no to those thingsbecause they do not align with
the future version of yourbusiness, your brain, your body,
yourself, upholding thoseboundaries is when we build that

(13:54):
self-trust, because you knowthat nothing's gonna pull you
away from that vision and thatversion of yourself that you are
becoming.
That's the big picture.
Thing that we're doing here iswe're recognizing that this
failed lead of a client is justletting us see that we are no
longer the version of ourselvesthat would have said yes and
would have worked with thatperson, because you are going to

(14:17):
turn that around today.
I know you are going to see thenew meaning and I know you are
going to turn that around today.
I know you are going to see thenew meaning and I know you are
going to take a new story awayfrom this, and I know that you
are going to turn it intoup-leveling, into a better
version of yourself.
Because I know you, because Iwas you and now I am me, I can
tell you that it's so muchbetter on this side of things me

(14:42):
.
I can tell you that it's somuch better on this side of
things.
So lean into the feminine byleaning into yourself, who you
are and the one person that youare talking to.
So get super clear on that andeverything else will be easy.
Also, I'm really sorry you'regoing through this heartbreak,
because it's a painful one andit really does suck.

(15:03):
It's okay to cry.
It's also okay to set a timeframe.
Give yourself a couple hours,maybe a day, cry it out, feel
like in the dumps, but then getyourself back up.
Have a couple conversationswith ChatGPT about who your
ideal client is and where you'regoing and what your vision is
around your brand.

(15:24):
It's super clarifying when youdo that.
Have them give you an avatarand get to know that person and
maybe ask them to embody thatperson and have some
conversations with your idealclient, see what they want.
We are in a world of endlesspossibilities, so choose the
mindset that you bring.

(15:44):
You've got this.