From Anxiety to Excitement: How Reframing and Audience Focus Transform Your Speaking

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Your heart pounding before a talk isn’t a warning—it’s a green light. We unpack a practical path to commanding the stage by turning “I’m anxious” into “I’m excited” and by moving the spotlight off the speaker and onto the people who came for change. Instead of opening with credentials, we walk through the power of an immediate, outcome-driven question that makes the whole room raise a hand and lean forward. From there, we build a talk around what the audience needs to hear for themselves, what will move them to act, and what will still matter next week.

We also share a behind-the-scenes moment from the Empowered Podcasting Conference: a live demonstration where a volunteer surfaced and released the belief “I am unworthy” in minutes. That shift wasn’t theoretical—you could see it in his posture, voice, and focus. We break down why focused change work can compress years into moments, how to structure a safe but powerful demo, and why giving away your best tools—workbooks, questions, and simple practices—creates trust that no slick pitch can match.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head on stage—worrying about how you look, sound, or move—this conversation offers a reset. You’ll learn how to ground energy through your feet, pull curiosity into your mind for sharper Q&A, and use intentional language to direct your nervous system toward performance. We show how restraint (letting someone else handle a brief intro, skipping the self-focused monologue) actually amplifies credibility, and why an audience-first mindset makes people seek you out afterward without a hard sell. Ready to make rooms lean in and take notes? Follow the show, share this episode with a friend who speaks for work, and leave a quick review with your biggest takeaway.

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Themes: Emotional Mastery, Mindset, Storytelling, Confidence, Health & Productivity, Creativity, Communication Skills, Business, Movement, Meditation, Mindfulness, Manifestation, Resilience, Letting Go, Surrender, Feminine Energy, Masculine Energy, Love, Personal Growth.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
I've been doing a lot more speaking recently.
And one of the things that I geta lot when I'm done is people
who come up to me and say, Icould never.
I could never get on stage andspeak to an audience like this.
And it's so unique to me becauseI truly believe we all have the

(01:33):
ability and the capacity tostand on stage and command it
the way that I do.
It's simply a skill.
And a lot of it isn'tnecessarily a skill.
It's just a perspective.
It's a mindset.
It's tools and techniques andthings that I do to ensure that
the audience is getting theright experience.
So I wanted to share the pieceof advice that I always give

(01:56):
when someone tells me, oh, Icould never.
Because the truth is, you could.
You very much can.
Because if I can, you can.
Just the way that things work.
And I know that it's a buildableskill.
I've seen it over and over.
So here is the shift for you.
The first thing that you have todo is recognize that our words

(02:19):
are powerful.
And the words that you use tolabel your experiences and your
internal experiences andexternal experiences, they both
matter.
And in this moment, what it isis that most people who say, Oh,
I could never.
It's because they're labelingtheir internal experience, their
physiological experience asfear, anxiety, being scared,

(02:46):
right?
That's what they label it as.
And they go, oh no, I couldn't.
I have so much anxiety aroundit.
I'm so scared of what people aregoing to say or think, or I'm
going to fall on my face, right?
Well, all of that is, is amislabeling because I'm having
the same physiological response.
Even when I'm not on stage andI'm in the audience and I hear

(03:09):
them ask for questions and Ihave a question pop up in my
mind, my heart immediately boom,boom, boom, boom, boom, almost
like it's going to beat out ofmy chest.
It's that energy.
And so I regulate that energy.
And in those moments, when I'min the audience about to ask a
question, I simply push thatpassion, that excitement into

(03:30):
the floor.
And I just pull curiosity upinto my head so that I can stay
focused on the question, stayfocused on being curious.
But when I'm on stage, what I'mdoing is I'm taking that label,
the word, the label of anxiety,and I'm shifting it because I
know from science that ourphysiological response of

(03:55):
anxiety and excitement are theexact same thing in the body.
So it all comes down to how youlabel it.
I used to label it as I'manxious or I'm fearful.
But instead, now it's I'm justexcited.
It's just my body telling methat this means something to me

(04:15):
to bring awareness, to bring myfocus here.
So instead of labeling anxiety,label it excitement.
And that in itself will shiftyour experience with these
physiological responses.
So shifting that label is thefirst thing that we want to do.
The next thing you want to do iswhat I call shift the spotlight.

(04:39):
And I think that's what peoplefeel the most with me on stage
is that you can tell whensomeone has the spotlight on
themselves.
Typically, they walk up tostage, hi, my name is, and they
ramble about themselves for afew minutes before they actually
get into the content.
That's all the spotlight onthem.
As well as you can notice whensomeone's highly nervous on

(05:01):
stage, usually it's becausetheir brain is thinking about
what are they thinking of me?
Did I pick the right outfit?
What do I sound like?
What do I look like?
Am I moving too much?
Am I talking with my hands toomuch?
Am I nervous energy?
Is that showing?
They're constantly thinkingabout what other people think of
them.
So the spotlight is on them.

And here's the thing (05:23):
I'll tell you, nobody is thinking about
you.
Everybody is thinking aboutthemselves.
It's as simple as that.
So when you finally accept thatand recognize that we are
selfish beings and that it ishard for us to think of others

(05:45):
before thinking about ourselvesfirst, go into this with the
mindset of what's in it forthem?
Because they're only everthinking about what's in this
for me.
Especially at a conference, whenthey're about to listen to a
whole bunch of different talks,they're not going into this,
whoo, I'm gonna go in here andand and sit and support Cheryl.

(06:06):
Cheryl really needs my energyfor this.
No, they're going, what am Igonna get from this session?
Here's what I want out of this.
What's in it for me?
So recognize that and go into itcompletely focused on your
audience.
Shift the spotlight.
Take the spotlight off of youand shift it to your audience.

(06:28):
So instead of thinking, what amI gonna get out of this?
What do they need to hear fromme?
How is this gonna make me look?
How can I make myself morecredible?
Simply ask yourself, what dothey need to hear for them?
What's gonna move them intoaction?
What's gonna stick and stay?
What can I say that they willhear so loudly they have to

(06:52):
write it down and take it homewith them?
Make it about them.
And I truly think that is whypeople respond so well to my
talks.
At this last talk in theEmpowered Podcasting Conference,
the founder was the one tointroduce me on stage.

(07:14):
I was the closing workshop forthe event on day one on Friday.
And he asked me before we wenton stage, hey, do you want me to
talk about your company at all?
I said, no, this is not aboutme.
This is about them.
And if they're truly interestedin the work that I do, they will
approach me afterwards and theywill ask about it.
They'll find me online, they'llgo to my website, they'll read

(07:35):
all the things, they'll submitfor a call, and we'll get on a
call and we'll talk about it.
I am not worried.
So please don't talk about me.
And he went up and he just did areally quick little intro.
Then I went up and the moment Igot there, I didn't even say hi,
my name is, because he just gotdone saying what my name is.
So I don't need to reintroducemyself again.

(07:56):
Instead, I just leave thespotlight on them and go right
into the first question.
In fact, the first question ofthat talk was how many people
here would love to grow by100,000 followers or a hundred
thousand downloads on theirpodcast?
And boom, every hand went up inthat room.
And in that moment, the lightwas shined on them.
The spotlight was on them, andit stayed there the entire talk.

(08:19):
Because every single thing thatI was communicating wasn't for
my own ego.
It was because I truly wantedthem to walk away with something
that would help benefit them.
In fact, that entire talk wascreated on the work, the inner
work I had done on myself forthe last six months, all put
together into a talk for them.

(08:40):
So they don't have to sufferlike I did.
Every single thing in that talkwas for them.
The freebies I gave away, theactivities we did.
I had a workbook that we onlygot through a handful of the
questions, and there were 25questions on that workbook for
them to take home after the factso they can continue the work.

(09:02):
Nothing was about me.
Everything was about them.
And that is how you command thestage.
That is how you get people to bedrawn into you like magnets.
Because when we simply sit hereand think about ourselves, we
shine the spotlight onourselves, we are pushing people

(09:22):
away.
But when we focus on them, wedraw them in.
That's where you see them leanforward in their seat.
In fact, I did my 40-minutetalk, my workshop, and at the
end, I had the honor of beingable to do a demonstration live

(09:42):
on stage of someone releasing alimiting belief.
And it was so cool because Ionly had a 40-minute time slot,
although I did have uh there wasnobody after me, and it was
about an hour and a half beforehappy hour.
And so there was time, and I didget verification that I was
allowed to do a demonstrationand go over a little bit.
So once I was done with my talk,I looked at the audience and

(10:04):
said, that's it.
That's my talk for the day.
Um, you do not have to stay hereany longer.
Not that they had to stay herein the first place.
Um, but I said, you know, if ifyou'd like, feel free to go.
Um, otherwise, I'm gonna pullthis volunteer that I just got
from the audience up and do ademonstration live.
And you can watch him releasethis belief right now.
And I'll tell you, in a roomwith over 50 people, only three

(10:27):
people stood up and left.
Everyone else was glued to thatseat and just leaned in a little
bit more.
They were so excited to be ableto watch.
And again, it wasn't about me.
The demonstration was not lookat how good I am.
It was watch this man's lifechange in a split second.

(10:50):
Because change happens in aninstant.
And I needed them to know that.
That the work that I just talkedabout, those stories from our
from our younger lives, from ourpast lives, from generational
things passed down to us.
Yeah, it's deep.
These stories are deep, isexactly what I talked about.
But then people get so caughtup, and I now know my trauma and

(11:13):
I have all these deep things,but now I have to go through 10
years of therapy to get rid ofit.
And it's like, no, you need togo through 10 minutes of focused
change work to be able to let itgo.
All you need is the belief, theclarity, and then to trust and
surrender and let go.
And I got to show that justbeing present and having the

(11:35):
right guide can get you there.
And I'll tell you, I am still sohonored to have had David on
stage to release the old beliefthat I am unworthy and to step
into this new story and newbelief that I am bloody well
worthy in his London accent.
I shouldn't, I'm not an accentperson, but he is from London.

(11:55):
So it just fit.
I am bloody well worthy, man.
How powerful.
We literally physically saw thisman change in that moment on
stage.
And then his wife came up to meafterwards and said, I think he
just gave me a new husband.

(12:17):
I did, Tracy.
I did just give you a newhusband.
But I didn't really do anything.
He chose to become a new man.
And I simply asked the rightquestions and moved some
pictures around in his mind tohelp him get there.
So again, shift the focus offyou, shift it onto other people.

(12:42):
And the world will be drawn toyou.
So be careful with your labels.
Labeling something as hard makesit hard.
Labeling something as easy tendsto make it a little easier.
Labeling something as anxietyamplifies the anxiety.
Because whatever we label it, itamplifies.

(13:05):
So continue to label things withintention that you are excited,
not anxious.
Because it means something toyou.
It's important to you.
So lean into that excitement.
Shift the focus on the audience,and I guarantee you too will

(13:27):
command a stage in a way thatpeople come up to you and say
just how masterful it all was.