From Courage to Crash: Managing Post-Expression Anxiety

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The Visibility Hangover strikes when you finally do that brave thing – posting vulnerability, launching your offer, speaking your truth – and suddenly want to crawl into a hole. That anxious, raw feeling isn't weakness or failure. It's your nervous system's natural response when it doesn't yet feel safe being seen.

Visibility taps into our most ancient fears – judgment, misunderstanding, and tribal exile. When we share authentically online, our bodies can interpret attention as threat, even when everything's going well. For women who experienced childhood silencing, this reaction intensifies. The pattern becomes predictable: courageous sharing followed by vulnerability crash, inner criticism, and the overwhelming urge to retreat, delete, and shut down.

But there's a different way forward. Rather than abandoning your visibility journey, you can develop a personal recovery protocol. Ground yourself physically. Name your feelings aloud. Consciously reaffirm safety to your body. Try gentle physical resets like neck rolls or belly breathing. Connect with supportive people who remind you that you're not "too much." The key insight? You don't need to feel completely ready before being seen. You simply need tools to regulate afterward, turning visibility from threatening to sustainable.

The more you practice post-expression regulation, the more consistent and magnetic your presence becomes. Being seen remains vulnerable, but with proper support, you won't need to disappear after brave moments. Your unique voice deserves to be heard, and your nervous system deserves compassionate care along the way.

Ready to transform your relationship with visibility? Join the Her Collective for community, coaching, and content safety that supports your authentic expression. Your voice matters – and with the right tools, sharing it doesn't have to hurt.

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Themes: Emotional Mastery, Mindset, Storytelling, Confidence, Health & Productivity, Creativity, Communication Skills, Business, Movement, Meditation, Mindfulness, Manifestation, Resilience, Letting Go, Surrender, Feminine Energy, Masculine Energy, Love, Personal Growth.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You finally did the brave thing.
You showed up, you posted thevulnerable caption, you launched
the offer, you said the truthout loud.
You know the one that you usedto only whisper in your journal.

(00:22):
And now, well, now you want tocrawl into a hole and disappear.
You're feeling anxious, raw,maybe even a little nauseous.
You're questioning everything.
Was that too much?

(00:46):
Should I delete it?
Who do?
I think I even am posting this.
Well, if that sounds familiar,welcome to what I call the
Visibility Hangover.
And you are not crazy, and norare you weak, and you're

(01:10):
definitely definitely not alone.
So let's talk about why it isthat you feel like you have this
threat to your nervous systemevery time you want to post, and
how you can regulate yourselfjust moments after brave

(01:31):
expression, so that you don'tfind yourself spiraling into
self-abandonment Because youdon't have to feel totally ready
to be seen.
I know I didn't.

(01:53):
You just need to know how tocome back to safety afterwards,
and that that I can teach you.
So let's define what avisibility hangover is.
It's well, it's that crash thathappens after a really, really
courageous moment.
It's the emotional and thephysical reaction that your body
has after you do something.

(02:13):
We'll call it bold.
Maybe it's posting a piece ofcontent that felt just a little
bit too honest, or sharing apart of your story that nobody's
ever heard before, because weall know how those go.
Maybe you're launchingsomething that you've held dear

(02:35):
to your heart for a long timeand you're just, you know,
you're worried, you're going toget all the feedback your baby's
ugly.
Or maybe you went viralunexpectedly, like I did, or
even just finally turning on thecamera and speaking out loud,
and then suddenly you want tohide away from everybody because

(02:57):
you feel exposed, you feel likeyou overshared, like the whole
world is watching, and you startto get this feeling like it'd
be better if you justself-sabotage and this is well
what I've learned in hindsight anatural form of trauma.

(03:18):
It's trauma-informed response.
It's the way that your body isjust trying to.
It's a natural trauma and it'snatural.
It's a trauma-informed responseand it's simply because your

(03:44):
body does not yet feel safebeing seen.
So here's what I want you tohear with your whole heart you
can have the most powerfulstrategy in the world, but if
your nervous system doesn't feelsafe being seen fully online,

(04:10):
your body will find a way toshut it down.
You can't fight it.
Visibility taps into ancientfears the fear of being judged,
the fears of being misunderstood, fears of being exiled from
your community or kicked out ofyour tribe, because if we get it

(04:31):
wrong, then we were ousted.
And so for many of us,especially us women who were
shamed or silenced in childhoodjust for being us well, now
being seen doesn't just feelvulnerable, it also feels unsafe

(04:52):
.
So even when the post performswell, even when the launch
brings in money, even whenpeople are cheering you on, you
might still feel like collapsinginside.
Well, this is the place wheremany brilliant women.

(05:14):
They give up, and not becausethey can't be visible, but
because no one ever taught themhow to regulate after they are,
so they can maintain it.
So this is what it looks likeTypically you share something

(05:34):
really real and really true andit magnetizes attention to you.
Now, sometimes it doesn't, andthat's a whole.
Nother way you can be activatedinto one of these kind of
spirals, but either way, youradrenaline kicks in in, and that
is followed by a vulnerabilitycrash where your inner critic

(05:55):
takes over.
Was that too much?
Was I too sensitive?
You should delete it.
You weren't ready.
This is where the shame startsto creep in and the shame.
Well, that's what makes usretreat, delete and shut down.
That is where our creativitygoes out the door.
But I want to say this, and Iwant to say this so loud and

(06:20):
clear this is not you failing.
This isn't your message beingwrong.
This is a nervous system askingfor inner care and not inner
criticism.
So what do you do when thehangover hits?
Because we all have thathangover protocol that we go to,

(06:44):
and this one is mine.
First and foremost, groundyourself, placing your feet flat
on the floor, preferablyoutside, in grass, without your
shoes on, and simply feel intoyour body, feeling into the
ground, feeling into all of thesurfaces around you and simply

(07:06):
letting out a massive sigh.
A massive sigh allowingyourself to orient yourself to
the space around you andstarting to allow your body to
just remember I am safe.
The second thing you can do isname what's present, saying it

(07:29):
out loud or journaling it.
I feel exposed, I feel anxious,I feel tired, I feel like I
want to disappear.
There's nothing wrong with anyof these, just give them
language so that they can helpmove and get out of you.
The next thing you want to do isto reaffirm safety.
Tell yourself it's safe to beseen.

(07:51):
It's safe to be fully expressed.
I don't have to earn belonging.
Tell yourself it's safe to beseen.
It's safe to be fully expressed, I belong.
Speak this into your body, notjust your mind.

(08:16):
The next thing you can do is amicrosomatic reset Gentle neck
rolls in one direction, stoppingand rolling your neck in the
other.
Maybe go lie flat on your backand just breathe into your belly
for a few minutes.
Maybe you shake your hands outfor 60 seconds and just get all
of that energy out.

(08:37):
Or just walk away from yourscreen and get out into nature
for a few minutes.
Either way, there are tons ofdifferent rituals in the Healthy
Emotional Regulation app foryou to use for your
post-regulation recalibration.
This way, after you post, thenyou can recalibrate, because the

(09:00):
last thing you want to do isco-regulate Now.
Not with your audience, in thiscase I'm talking about with
someone safe.
Call a business bestie withyour audience.
In this case, I'm talking aboutwith someone safe.
Call a business bestie.
Text your coach.
Connect with someone who canremind you that you're not too
much.
You're perfect just the way youare.
And remember, if you'reprojectors like me, you might

(09:22):
need more rest and recoverypost-expression than you think.
Recovery is a part of yoursuccess cycle.
Invisibility is energetic labor.
So the more sensitive and thedeeper your message, the more
care your system requires afteryou share.
So let me wrap up with this youdon't have to feel ready to be

(09:46):
seen.
You don't have to wait.
You don't have to expect everypart of you to be healed before
you finally show up and speak.
You don't have to disappearafter being brave.
You just need the right tools.
You just need the right supportsystem to get you through the

(10:09):
different waves of exposure.
And so the more you learn toregulate after you express, the
more consistent, safe andmagnetic your presence becomes.
So I'm inviting you if you'relooking for that community, join
the Her Collective and findthat community, that coaching

(10:33):
and that content safety.
And if this episode sparkedsomething in you, share it with
another sister who's recoveringfrom a bold move, who needs to
know that she's not alone.
Being seen is vulnerable, butyou are made to be witnessed as
you are.
You've got this and I've gotyou.