S5 E13 - Still Minding The Beehive - Surviving Sex Crimes, Part 13 - FINALE - A Nefarious Nightmare - True Crime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And the Farious Nightmare contains themes thatmaybe explicit or triggering. For some specific
warnings and disclaimers will be mentioned inthe show notes. And the Faious Nightmare
assumes all parties that are mentioned inthese cases to be innocent unless proven guilty
in a court of law. Listenerdiscretion is strongly advised. You can help
us grow the show by leaving usa five star written review on Apple Podcasts

(00:21):
or Spotify, or you can joinour Patreon for lighthearted bonus content with this
Welcome to season five. She knewI could tell with one glance, one
look, one simple instant. Itwas her eyes. Despite the thick makeup.
They were still dark, rimmed,haunted, and sad. Most of

(00:42):
all, though they were familiar.The fact that we were in front of
hundreds of strangers changed nothing at all. I'd spend the summer with those same
eyes, scared, lost, confused, staring back at me. I would
have known them any where, SarahDesson and Justice is a certain rectitude of

(01:06):
mind whereby a man does what heought to do in the circumstances confronting him.
Thomas A. Kenas. Today's episodeis the final episode of the season
and series barring bonus episodes that maytake place with a few key players in
these cases. With today's episode,we bring it all the way back to

(01:30):
the case of Adrian Vildusia, whowas the main octagonist of our Minding the
Beehive series in season two. Whybecause another of his victims finally came forward
and spoke out against this monster whois currently walking freely on the streets waiting
to once again offend. This episodeis one not to miss because not only

(01:52):
will there be a refresher on theoriginal series, but also a message to
all victim blamers, famers and sells, sex tortionists, and all sexual assailants.
So are you still mining the Beehive? With that, I'm Amanda Cronin
and I'm Courtney Fenner and a NefariousNightmare presents the finale Still Mining the Beehive

(02:19):
Part thirteen in two weeks from today, the day this episode goes live,

(02:46):
it will be the fourth Tuesday inSeptember. In the US, the fourth
Tuesday in September is recognized as MyConsent Day. This is just a cool
and fitting fact because the theme ofthis podcast, more specifically this series.
Throughout this series, we've discussed varioustopics, consent being one of them,

(03:07):
as well as sexual assault statistics,the difference between revenge porn and sextortion,
incest, narcissism, sexual assault betweenminers, sexual health, mental health,
empathy. The list goes on andon. If you are just now tuning
in, please go back about thirteenepisodes so that you can become fully aware

(03:30):
on how big of a problem sexcrimes are globally. It is becoming more
and more endemic in the US alone. But despite every measure taken to diminish
and decrease these statistics, new methodologiesare formed and perpetrators wise up. It's
sad, but this is why survivor'sstories are important. It not only allows

(03:51):
the survivor to feel validated, butit also educates people on how very real
and traumatizing this problem is. Italso makes others who are shy to tell
their story realize that they are notalone. We want to stress this to
all victims and survivors. You arenot alone and this is not your fault.

(04:12):
With a community such as the Beehivemovement that's been occurring since Minding the
Beehive, you can find renewed hopeencouragement, validation, and even more platforms
are ways to tell your truth.Of course, we do not want to
encourage the negative stigma that surrounds theterm quote unquote trauma bonding, as we
never want to imply that being codependentor feeling forced to stick around is a

(04:33):
good idea, but rather it's moreof a community of those who have also
been in similar scenarios to support anduplift one another. There is a power
in numbers, after all, andjust like with bees in nature, if
you find yourself with a swarm ofthem around you, we best not fuck
around and find out. To wrapall this up, we want to introduce

(04:55):
you all to Rachel. Rachel isactually a synonym. It was one of
Adrian Bill Dousueya's victims. Please listenwith care because while this pretty much rips
the band aid off of it alreadyfresh wound, this still will offer validity
and support to Rachel and many othervictims should they decide to come forward and

(05:17):
speak with that. Here's Rachel.Hi. My name is Rachel. I'm
from Pennsylvania. I'm thirty four yearsold. I'm a pretty like laid back,
easygoing girl. I mean, I'mmy favorite holiday is Halloween. My
favorite time of the year is fall. I like the cool weather. I'm

(05:40):
really into just like music. I'mmore so into like the like the metal
scene. I mean, like myfriends just describe me and like I would
think to describe myself too. Justlike I said, it's like just a
pretty laid back, easygoing person Ilike to be. I'm a total animal

(06:01):
lover. Well, so I havetwo kittens. They actually turned one year
old today. Yeah, they're justI'm a new cat mom, so they're
everything's a little new to me,but but I'm doing the best I can.
And I can definitely tell like thatthey're very happy here and they love

(06:24):
me and they actually greet me atthe door when I come home. Yeah,
they're just they're really good cats.Well, I was raped by Adrian
Bill Dusia and physically assaulted by AdrianBill Dusia many times. So it happened

(06:45):
about four and a half years ago. It was the fall of twenty eighteen.
It happened over the course of severalmonths, and it happened at my
home in Pennsylvania. So Adrian andI had actually met on a dating app.
We actually met on It was bumbleWe did not actually go on like

(07:06):
an actual, like legit date.We just met at like a public place.
We talked a few days prior,and you know, he made it
clear that he wanted to meet me, he was interested in me, He
went to get to know me better. So we decided to meet at a
public place first. I expressed tohim that I did not want to go

(07:29):
to his place or have him cometo my place. I didn't feel comfortable
with that. I wanted to meetup at a public place first, and
that's what we did, and thenafterwards we actually then went back to his
place. It was his idea,and I guess just at the time,
I figured like he seemed nice,and I figured, like, what's the

(07:50):
harm of just going back to hisplace and hanging out there. I definitely
feel like like the dynamic between uswas it was, it was positive,
it was good. I feel likehe at the time like he wanted to
so, like I said, wehad met on a dating app and it
was on Bubble and on Bumble.If you don't know how it works,

(08:13):
is I mean, this was like, you know, four and a half
years ago, but at the time, the girl had to be the one
to message first, so I justmessaged hey. He messaged me back,
and it had said that he reallywasn't on dating apps much and you know,
here's my number, like you know, give me a text, and
so we exchanged numbers and then westarted talking from there and he just wanted

(08:39):
to talk on the phone. Heseemed very like interested in me getting to
know me, Like he seemed verylike genuine, just like he just really
like wanted to get to know me. And it's like everything I was saying,
he was just like he was ableto relate to it in some way
and like the conversation like, well, we seem to have a lot of

(09:01):
things in common, and he wasjust very like like sweet and just like
understanding of things and like so easyto talk to. Like it just everything
just seemed to kind of like flowreally well. He totally loved bombing.
Oh. He would tell me.So he would tell me that like,

(09:24):
oh my gosh, you you soundlike such a wonderful woman. And like
when he saw me too, hewould tell me like how beautiful I was.
How you know, he cheered aboutme. We could have this wonderful
future together, like we could dothis that like whatever I want, like
it was just he was always likecomplimenting me, and always just just complimenting

(09:45):
me in literally like every way,not just like my physical appearances, but
like what I do for like work, and just like how I have like
my myself together and like my life, and like just like almost like praising
me in ways like wow, likeyou're you're such a great strong, like
wonderful woman, Like you're so beautiful, and just just like over the top

(10:07):
with like compliments. I was livingin Pennsylvania when it happened. Yet some
of the red flags that I noticedwas he made it clear to me that
he was going through like a hardtime. He was going through like a
rough time in his life. Hehad told me that he had moved to
Pennsylvania to be with a girl andshe just left him, broke up with

(10:30):
him. He didn't really know why. He would accuse her of a lot
of things though, and those thingssuch as he told me that she would
claim like, oh, you lefta bruise on me, Oh you left
a mark on me, Oh,like you shoved me. I mean,
looking back, those were definitely redflags, Like somebody sang to you like,

(10:54):
oh, my ex claimed that Ipushed her. I shoved her,
I left marks, I left bruiseson her, like those are definitely red
flags. And then I noticed thathe was drinking a lot too. But
I just kind of blinded on thefact that he had told me he was
going through a rough time. Hewas going through a hard time. He
was just saying like, oh,I just moved here from Penstylmania, Like

(11:16):
I don't know anybody out here,like I'm from Arizona. Is this Everything
just seemed to be like about him, just who's going through a hard time.
At the time that him and Iwere talking, I just know that
he went by Adrian Adrian Bill Dusiaat the time. I do know later
though, he did go by othernames. Yeah, and like Estemon Adrian

(11:41):
Gray Stephen. Even so, asfar as I know, he's been doing
this to women for over a decade. The first time that he ever put
his hands on me, we wereactually sitting in my living room and he

(12:01):
was telling me a story about howhe had been raped by a group of
girls. So when he told methis, you know, I went to
try to hug him and hold hishand, and it was like something just
like snapped in him. He tookmy hand he started to burn my fingers
back and told me that he wasgoing to fucking break my fingers, and

(12:22):
I just started begging him, like, please stop. That hurts. Please
don't do that like that hurts.Please stop after me, just like begging
him, like over and over,just to please stop, like that hurts.
Please stop. He eventually stopped.I had a candle lit, and
he picked up the candle, tookit to my sofa and told me that
he was going to burn my fuckinghouse down again. When he was doing

(12:43):
that, I'm just like, pleasestop, like you're scaring me. Please
stop, you're scaring me. Don'tdo that. Please stop, you're scaring
me. He eventually put that down. I'm sorry. There's a lot of
things like over the past four years, I just like blocked so much out.
But he did put I don't rememberif he shoved me or like grabbed

(13:05):
me, Like he either grabbed myarms or like shoved me in some type
of way. And I had myphone on me, and I took out
my phone. I put nine oneone in and I told him, don't
come near me, don't touch me. If you come near me, I'm
calling the cops. And he eventuallylike just like stopped over, like after
a period of time. Me justkeep I just kept on repeating, like,

(13:28):
please don't come near me, don'ttouch me. If you come near
me, I'm calling the cops.So he eventually stopped. I went to
sleep. I'm assuming he went tosleep at some point that night too.
And then the next day I toldhim that we needed to talk. We
were in a relationship at this point, and at first he said that he

(13:50):
didn't want to talk, he didn'thave anything to talk about, and I
was like, no, we needto talk about what happened last night.
And I started telling him what hestarted to do, and he just broke
down in tears gave me the mostsincere like apology ever, Like he was

(14:11):
crying, telling me that he lovedme. His intentions are never to hurt
me. That's not who he is. He's not here to hurt me or
scare me. I mean, hewas just like just pretty much like just
apologizing, crying, saying just howmuch he loved me. He didn't mean
it. That's not him, that'snot who he is, that's not what

(14:33):
he's here to do. And he'lldo whatever it takes to make things better
and just like he loves me.He promised me that it would never happen
again. He'd never do anything likethat again, like he promised me,
and I agreed to say in arelationship with him because I thought that he

(14:54):
was sincere and honest and that itwas not going to happen again, because
he promised me that it would nothappen again. But it did. It
was until a few weeks later.Now I don't really remember the order of
what things happened in I just knowthey're like I can give you like you

(15:20):
know, like these things happened atsome point throughout the relationship. We were
together for several months, and multipletimes through those several months, he when
we would have sex, he wouldliterally just like pull me down, strangle
me. I mean he would evenslap me. Anytimes I would tell him
like no, like I don't wantto do that. Stop, I don't

(15:43):
like that. It was like heit made him choke me harder, it
made him like pull me down moreforcefully and just literally like just physically forced
me to do what he wanted meto do. And then he would like
physically assault me like all the time. I can't even tell you how many

(16:06):
times he did it. There wasmultiple times where he would just show me
against the wall, choke me.He would tell me that I don't deserve
love, I'm a whore, I'ma slut, I'm cheating on him.
He would accuse me of all sortsof crazy things. There was times too
that he would take my keys soI couldn't get in my car and go
anywhere, and he would take myphone so I couldn't even call anybody or

(16:29):
reach out to anybody for help.If I would try to go out one
of my front door or my backdoor, he would be right there and
be like, no, do notleave it. And if he would let
me outside, he came outside withme, like I couldn't. I couldn't
reach out for help because I hadmy phone, I couldn't leave. And
there's so many times I would thinktoo, like all right, if I
just made like a run for itto a neighbor's house or something, like,

(16:52):
I can get out of this.But then I would just think back,
like wait, So like if Ijust wart into a neighbor's who's say
that, like he's gonna stop me, He's gonna do something to me,
Like I just didn't want to dealwith, like what what he would do,
because he had at this point,he had choked me. He had
hurt me in so many ways.There's even times too. I remember this

(17:15):
one pretty specific time. So hehad been drinking. He drank a lot,
probably like every day, and Icame home from work. He was
drunk. He forced me to godown on him and he fell asleep,

(17:36):
and I went to the kitchen.I made some food. I remember I
was sitting there at the kitchen tableeating and he comes out to the kitchen
and he's like, what are youdoing. I'm like, I'm eating.
He's just flat out it's like,no, you're not. I'm like,
yes, I am, Like yousee the food in front of meat,
I'm eating, And he's just like, no, no, no, you're
not. He walked away for afew minutes, and then I finished eating,

(18:00):
cleaned up like my dishes and stuff, and then I went upstairs to
go to bed. I'm not surewhere he was. He was somewhere in
the house. So while I'm inbed, he comes upstairs, and I
think the first thing he did washe ripped the sheets off of me,
and then he threw a cup ofwater on me. I sat up and
then he pushed me in the faceand my nose started bleeding and I was

(18:22):
like, oh my god, mynose is bleeding. And his words were,
gee, I wonder how that happened. Better gets that checked out.
And my dog. I had adog at the time, and my dog
came into the room, into thebedroom, and she started coming over to
me, and I went through reshedout into her to, you know,
just for comfort. He takes mydog and he grabbed her and he pulled

(18:45):
her away like shelter and said,your dogs, I'm gonna save you because
I'm gonna fucking kill her. Hethreatens to kill my dog, and then
he threw a cup at me andit cut my nose. And this is
just a few of the things thathe did that was just so horrible.
Another time, too, he toldme I was trying to get away from

(19:08):
him and I was going down thesteps and he came following me and he
says, I'm going to kick youdown the steps, and then he tried
to. But I think the onlyreason that I didn't actually fall down the
steps was because he told me hewas going to kick me down the steps.
So I just kind of braced myselfand he kicked my leg. But

(19:30):
because I had myself braced like,I didn't fall down the steps. There
was another time too. This isa really difficult time for me to talk
about, but it was in it. It was actually a few weeks before
my relationship with him ended, andwe both have been drinking. I probably

(19:57):
only had like two, two,maybe three shots. I believe it was
whiskey. At the time, hisgo to drink was a whiskey and he
had been drinking. I was makingdinner, and that's the last thing I
remember was making dinner. I wokeup a few hours later in bed with

(20:19):
a broken tooth. I had abruise on my head, I had a
bruise on my chin, I hada bruise on my shoulder, a bruise
on my knees, my thighs,like my hips. I had no idea
what happened. And I remember whenI woke up that night, I got
up from the bed when I noticedlike my tooth was chipped, and he

(20:40):
was home. He said that heclaimed he didn't know what happened. I
sincerely think that he drugged me becausehe gave me drinks that night and list
thing I remember is making dinner andhe was there, and I woke up
a few hours later in bed,like I just don't understand how how I
could have I went from being inthe kitchen making dinner, feeling maybe like

(21:04):
buzzed, maybe a little drunk,and then I wake up in bed with
all these bruises and a broken tooth, and he says, I don't know
what happened. I eventually ended upbeing able to get out of this relationship
because I reached out to his momand I told her a little bit of
what was going on, pretty muchthat I was scared, and she has

(21:26):
suggested inviting him to come home forthe holidays, because this was in the
fall of twenty eighteen, and heagreed to go home for the holidays and
he just never came back then,Like he literally said, his exact words
were, your dog's not going tosave you because I'm going to fucking kill

(21:48):
her. I like all I couldthink was like, oh my God,
like my dog, Like I'm worriedabout me, and then yet like he's
threatening to kill my dog, likeshe's she's my baby. So I'm just
like, oh my God, Likewhat do I do? And there was
even times too that I remember onetime I was taking a shower and he
just comes into the bathroom and he'slike, oh, your dogs loose outside.

(22:12):
Now, I live in a townwhere, like you are not supposed
to have your dog off of aleash. And she's also the type of
dog too, where if you leaveher off of a leash and she sees
a squirrel a rabbit, she's goingto go after it. And when he
told me, oh, I justleft your dog outside, he kept on

(22:33):
saying something about how she's a Oh, animals are free spirits, they're meant
to be free, like he hekept saying something about that, and I'm
just like, looking back, Ialmost can't help to think that maybe he
only set her like outside to loosein hopes that like something would happen to

(22:56):
her. I don't know, Imean, he was definitely like I mean,
it's unreal the amount of like likegaslighting he did and this manipulation.
And just like every time that,like people will come to me, like
are people that like I've talked toabout, like you know, the situation

(23:19):
with him, They'll be like,well, you know, I just don't
understand, like how like how youfell for all this like what like,
oh, you know, they justdon't seem to get like they don't understand.
And I to say it, butyou really don't understand until you're in
those shoes and it happens to you, because I know I always said,

(23:40):
the second a man ever laid afinger on me wrong, I'm done,
I'm out. And there I wasstuck in that situation. It's like he
knew what to say, how tosay it, like at exactly the right
time, the right like he hisword, like the words that he picked

(24:00):
and chose to say. It's likehe just knew exactly what to say,
how to say it, why tosay it. Like his manipulation was off
the charts. When when he wasbeing like violent, it was like you
could just tell, like his eyeshe looked like they were just dark and

(24:21):
he it was like some type ofhe was in some type of state or
something. It was like he itjust like pure like evil. I feel
like if there was any time thathe had been drinking, that was a
first sure sign that he was gonnasomething was going to happen. But I
never I never knew how he wasgonna be, how he was gonna act

(24:44):
like he drank literally like every singleday. And there were some days where
he was fine, he was totallyfine, and then there was the other
days that he would be physically andsexually assaulting me. I never knew how
he was going to be your act. There's even times too that I'd be
at work. He knew what hoursI worked, and he would be calling

(25:07):
me and calling me and texting meand texting me. He'd leave voicemails and
I go on my break and thenI would see, like, you know,
he called me and he texted mebecause I can't be on on my
phone when I'm at work, andit would just be like he's texted and
voicemails of like I need you,I need you to come home, like

(25:27):
like a babe, I'm going throughsome shit right now, I really need
you to come home. I needyou here, like like it was just
like he just needed me there,he needed help, and like he he
again would always blame it on likehe's going through a hard time. He
needs me, he loves me,and he wants me to be there to

(25:49):
like help them support him and justbe there for him, and like he
just needs me, And it startedinterfering with like my I work, just
like my everyday daily life. There'stimes that I would actually like come back
home on my break and because ofhow he was like like I wouldn't go

(26:11):
back to work because he didn't wantme to go back, and if I
went back, I was afraid ofwhat he would do. So after we
broke up, well so he soI dropped a off with the airport and
he flew back to Arizona and Iactually didn't text him for a few days.

(26:33):
He would text me, and Ijust never responded, and his texts
were usually just like hey, orhe sent me like memes or something,
or just like just random things likehe was just trying to start off a
conversation and I just would ignore him. And the one day I just sent
him a text saying we're done.I don't want you coming back, and

(26:56):
he actually messaged me back saying,oh I knew that when I left,
And I just deleted, blocked hisnumber and blocked hi law on everything,
and I never heard from again.But actually he did actually reach out to
me. I had gotten a textmessage from a number that I did not
have saves. It said, Hey, is this Rachel. I didn't recognize

(27:18):
the number, so I like Googlesearched it and it came up that it
was an Arizona phone number, SoI just kind of figured it must be
him because I don't know anybody elsefrom Arizona, Like I don't have anybody
else's number from Arizona. But that'sthe only time that he ever tried to
reach out to me after we werelike formally broken up. I know of

(27:44):
a lot of women that have reachedout to law enforcement, and a lot
of times I've noticed that it dependson what some police departments seemed to take
like assaults and very more seriously thanothers. I have seen a lot of

(28:04):
women that have reached out and madesorry drilling blank, oh my fashion,
drilling blank. They have reached outand filed like a yeah. So,
like I know a lot of womenthat have reached out and made like formal
complaints and the police departments would ordetectives or spu would just never get back

(28:29):
to them, or they like theysay they would get back to them and
they wouldn't, or like they say, they get back to you and say
like, yeah, I'm gonna lookinto this for on top of this,
you know, like well, we'llget we'll get this figured out, and
then that's it. You never hearfrom them again. But then there's other
police departments too where you go toand they take it seriously and they actually

(28:53):
do do something about it. BecauseAdrian has been arrested several times and he
is getting out on bail, somebodykeeps bailing him out. Like I just
don't understand, like how these judgescan see like he has assault and rape

(29:14):
charges and they're just like, oh, all right, we'll just let this
person out on bail, so whatthey can go back out there and do
it again. Like I just don'tunderstand that, Like it's like they're just
sending a criminal back out to societyjust to keep on doing the same crime
over and over and over. Likewhat is it going to take someone to

(29:36):
be murdered for them to take itseriously? I don't understand it. There's
been a lot of times where Ifeel like some people, like I don't
know, they just don't take itseriously. They just brush it off.
They don't believe on I don't know. But until it happens to you or
like your own child, that it'slike it opens your eyes and you're like,
oh, well, all right,well maybe this is serious. I'm

(30:02):
not totally sure if he's ever hada restraining order filed against him. I
know I wanted to file one,but I never did because I was scared,
like, what's a piece of papergoing to do from stopping him from
coming back and doing something when hehad already like threatened to kill my dog
and burn my house down and chokeme and raped me and assault me and

(30:25):
pushed me in the face multiple timesand literally like keeping hostage in my house.
Like somebody that's doing things like that, like a piece of paper I
think is not going to stop them. He has been arrested several times.
The justice system has failed us,though the justice system fails so many people
every day, and it's a shamethey don't take these type of crimes seriously.

(30:52):
This has definitely affected me in alot more ways than I ever thought.
I always said that he literally justvoid and just broke my spirituality,
my mental health, my emotional health. And after he left, I definitely
suffered from PTSD anxiety. I couldn'tsleep, I was super super paranoid.

(31:17):
I couldn't like leave my house withoutlike somebody with me or like with my
dog. With me, I wasalways like on alert, like any time,
like I'd see you a man walkinglike outside, Like I just got
so extra paranoid. I have tolike keep an eye on them. I
just after he left, I triedto surround myself with friends and family,

(31:41):
but I feel like it reaches thepoint where there's only so much like they
can do for you, and thenlike it just reaches a point where,
like for me at least, itjust it started affecting, Like I started
making just really poor, poor lifechoices, and I had a lot of
anger in me. I had alot of just anxiety. I have panic

(32:05):
attacks. I just so paranoid abouteverything. Like I said, I couldn't
sleep, like I couldn't eat,Like I definitely lost weight from it.
It was just it was affecting mywork too. But I mean, over
time, I just tried. Thenafter I feel like a few months,
I just kind of was like,all right, I'm just gonna like block

(32:27):
everything out, delete everything, pretendnothing ever happened, and just move on
with my life. And at thetime I felt like I was doing a
pretty good job of just moving onwith my life because I I just tried
so hard to just delete block andjust forget it. Ever happened to me,
and it started causing problems then inlike personal relationships, and a few

(32:54):
months ago, I actually decided toreach out and get therapy for myself because
I just knew that I needed help. I can't there was just so much
trauma that I just needed help,and I'm glad I did. I definitely

(33:15):
feel like now I'm finally just startingmy path to healing after like four and
a half years. There's still alot of things that Adrian did to me
that are just hard to accept anddeal with. I can't even tell you

(33:35):
too how many times I was honestlyafraid, Like I was scared for my
life so many times. And therewas even reached points too where I remember
the first time that he had puthis hands on me. I had messaged
one of my close friends about it, and he, I believe just from

(33:59):
like looking over my shoulder and soChea knew like what my past room was
on my phone because there are timesI would go to my phone and there
was text messages that had been readthat I know I did not read,
and some of those messages were betweenthis close friend of mine that I hadn't
talked to her about what Adrian haddone the first time you put his hands

(34:19):
on and like I feel like sayingwithin a day or two, A few
days later he had told me thatwell, he had asked, like,
oh, are you talking to yourfriends about me? I don't want you
talking to your friends about me.What happens between you and me is between
you and me, not you Meand your friends were in this relationship together.

(34:43):
I'm not in this relationship with youand your friends. Is you and
me. What happens between you andme stays between you and me. And
at that point I kind of gota little scared of even texting my friends,
and I told them like, allright, don't text me after this
time, and my friends became increasinglylike scared for me. I'd get to
work and there'd be like a slewof messages on them being like, just

(35:06):
text me so I know you're okay, you know, like I'm worried about
you. If you need a placeto stay, like you can stay at
my place. But I never tookany of them up on that because I
knew if I did that, therewill be some type of consequence, because
even if I was like late cominghome from work. Right away he was
accusing me of cheating on him andthat I'm a slut, I'm a whore.

(35:31):
I don't deserve to be loved.No. Oh, he would tell
me too that nobody will ever loveme how he does. But honestly,
looking back, I'm like, good, I hope nobody loves me how you
did, because you don't know whatlove is. So I feel like a
lot of my friends and family havebeen quite supportive. I mean pretty much

(35:57):
they were just all like, likemost my friends and family were just like,
oh my god, like you know, I'm so sorry, I'm glad
you got out of that safe,you know, and just you know,
just pretty much like trying to tellme to like move on from it.
But I mean there was some someof them this kind of seemed like,
yeah, you know, it happened, like you know, it happens,

(36:22):
move on from it. And it'sjust well, it's not as easy as
that, Like you can't just saylike, all right, I'm gonna move
on from this, and you moveon from it. There was actually somebody
that made a comment to me onetime too, and they were like,
how does your boyfriend rape you,and that comment just really really grinds my

(36:43):
gears because just because it's your boyfriendor you know, whatever situation in your
partner, Like you can be rapedby anybody just because just because it's your
partner doesn't mean they can't rape youif you tell them like no, like

(37:04):
a lot of and it's like there'sa lot of discrepancy between like oh,
well you know, did you sayno? Well yeah, if you say
I don't like that, I don'twant you, that's not comfortable, that
hurts. Those are all forms ofno. And if your partner is not
respecting that, it's it's not okay. Like I feel like a lot of

(37:28):
people think of rape as you know, like oh they I'm not trying to
be like graphic or blood here,but like I feel like a lot of
people think of rape as like somebodylike holding a knife to your throat and
being like that, like that's youknow, it's like violent like that.
I mean, sure Adrian never heldthat knife to my throat, but his

(37:52):
hands were around my throat like choking, some choking somebody. You can kill
somebody that way. I just Ido want to say that anybody that's ever

(38:14):
been a victim of rate, physicalassault, molestation, anything like that.
You're processing and healing. Time isall about you, like you, you
need to put yourself first and dowhat works for you and take care of

(38:35):
yourself. I didn't at first.I mean it's totally normal to feel I
know, I felt hopeless, guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, like just a
whirlwind of emotions. And it's normalto go through that. You know,
everybody processes things differently. It's somethingthat's definitely hard, and it's something too

(39:01):
that you never you don't go throughlife thinking it's going to happen to you.
So it's hard to for me atleast, it was hard to accept
what did happen. But you haveto put yourself first and and just heal
within yourself. And it's different foreverybody. And I mean when it comes

(39:22):
to seeking like therapy or counseling,filing police reports and stuff like that.
Whenever you feel ready to make apolice report, do so or you can.
Also I've heard you that there's alot of advocates. Depending on what

(39:43):
like county or like towns that youlive in, you should be able to
find like an advocate and they canhelp you walk you through step by step,
go with you to even make apolice report, you don't have somebody
to go with you. But Imean, it's a hard process and I'm
gonna be honest, though the justicesystem fails a lot, but us girls

(40:07):
are trying hard to get our justice. I'm I just want to share my
story with anybody else has ever beenthrough a situation like this or similar to
it, and to know that youare not alone. There's help out there,
There's people you can reach out to. Just know that you do not

(40:29):
have to go through it alone.After the Minding the Beehive series that launched
in season two and since then,Polly, Katie Tatum, Haley Barthmne and
Grace and Alex, among many others, have been vital in raising awareness about
his many crimes. To this day, Adrian Ville, to say, is
not only trying to sign on tomany other dating sites and it is not

(40:52):
only still utilizing hashtags like girls withTattoos, but he is also continuously changing
his user handles on Instagram. Eventhough we feel deeply in our hearts that
he will be brought to justice oneday, we still have a ways to
go. When his victims continue tocome forward after the fact, such as
when Rachel did that only highlights theissue at hand. The legal system does

(41:15):
not take sex crimes seriously, period, So let's change that narrative. Let's
continue to mind the beehive. Let'salso wrap this series up in a nice,
pretty mic drop, shall we.I've thought of a million things I
would spew out to the two ofyou if I've ever gotten the opportunity,
if I felt I would truly beheard, and my mind races in so

(41:37):
many directions of emotions, finger pointingthe pear, hatred, and sadness.
I want to spew you. Iwant you to feel the urge, discreem
at how you ruin my innocence,how you ruin my life. But then
I can't help but stop myself fromgiving you the satisfaction of taking that title
abuser or destroyer? How I feelmaking a title hover over me as a

(42:00):
victim or a survivor. I amsomeone who asked to have things make sense.
I overthink, I break things down. There has to be a bigger
picture, a deeper meaning. Andthrough the years as I grow, that
helped me a lot. Why thingshappen to me the way they did,
and able to move past, andI learned how to be more understanding.

(42:20):
Out of all of the positivity thathas come from this trait, so so
much negativity and hatred circled back around, hitting every possible law of how countless
sleepless nights, questioning everything. Iwill never know it all, and I
will never truly be able to forgivefully. But I'm healing, and like
layers, I have shed and Iwill continue to shed the trauma that you

(42:44):
have caused, and I am thriving. And you did not break me.
You may have inflicted abuse and causedstruggles throughout my life, but he not
even in spite of you, butfor purely me, and not to be
that scared and confused little girl anymorethat doubts herself. I rise up and
I'd be better than yesterday, andI will continue to do so for me

(43:07):
because when you mess with the bees, honestly, I think that every single
one of them should burn and fuckinghell. But I know that even if
the justice system doesn't get them rightaway, karma is always going to catch
up because it leaves no one out. And if you're a shitty person who

(43:30):
thinks that you can take advantage ofpeople. You're going to get everything back
that you fucking deserve, and Ibelieve that wholeheartedly because when you mess with
the bees, Adrian Bildi Sia,I'm sure you're listening to this because you
are just that type of person thatloves attention, and you are getting the

(43:52):
attention that you wanted. But youknow what, You're an absolute monster.
You have destroyed so many women's livesand the justice that is coming your way
is so well deserved. You arenot going to get away with what you,

(44:12):
unfortunately have been getting away with forover a decade. I just I
don't even understand how you have gottenaway with all of this for so long.
But justice is coming and you arejust an absolute monster, and I
hope this saves any other girl,any other person that comes in contact with

(44:36):
you, from being a victim ofyou. You're an absolute monster. I
cannot even express that enough, howmuch of a monster you are when you
mess with the bees. If there'sanything I could say to those who have
hurt me along the way for somany years, and I've really affected my

(44:58):
mental health and how I'll look atlife now versus back then. It came
as a bit and you can't breakme. There are days where I feel
like I've been broken, but inthe end, I always able to piece
myself back together. And that's theresilience and strength that I've gained from dealing
with your bullshit. It's an absolutejoke that you've put me through this as

(45:23):
well as others, as I nowknow that I'm not the only one for
any of the people I'm talking about, and you guys can all fucking rot
in hell. I'm not a religiousBason by any means, but fucking now,
if any if there is a hell, you guys fucking deserve to rot.
Don't not officially end it, butjust be in hell, rotting through

(45:45):
fire day end and day out,and during the pain and then some that
you've put myself in other's throat,And I fucking hope to God that no
one else currently is going through there, that you're putting anyone else through this,
because no one deserves that. Butto end it all, I've got

(46:07):
one final message for all of you. Don't fuck with me, don't fuck
with others, because we're a hiveand we know what happens when you miss
with the bays, So don't misswith the bays. You know, all
you fucking scrubs who have nothing betterto do in your life, but torment

(46:28):
women. You wonder why you areso miserable and lonely, yet you want
the company of somebody that's going tounderstand you and treat you with respect.
But honestly, you deserve nothing butshit. And I would love to call
out everyone else involved, but Ican't. And I think all of you
are garbage. And I hope youall rot. Yeah, I hope.

(46:53):
And again I hope you wake upevery day paranoid and anxious and just hoping
every day will end as soon aspossible, because by honestly we wish it
would. And when you missed withthe beat, you took a couple of
babies and you promised love, andyou treat him so well, except you

(47:14):
decided to break them. He decidedto fuck the little bodies. He decided
to make them sected fucking cough yousid and he told them it was because
some people who loved you too.And then then you told me that if
I told my mom would kill her, you would have to kill her.

(47:34):
Fuck you were still in my goodness. Fuck you were teaching me what a
blow job was when I was fiveyears old? Can you here ready?
By the brother? I don't knowwhat became of you, the safety I
was to coum to them, andhonestly I didn't even realize I had to
the emotions about it, But Ihope they fucking made you drop about what

(47:57):
stillbot who you've never had a chanceto see? Why did day? You've
never had another kid? But it'ssort of God if I ever see you
get in this life up because whenyou missed the bees, so to the
bees and to the honorary bees,just know you are heard, you are

(48:22):
safe, and you were so lovedand you were so bigger beyond this whole
situation. And I hope one dayyou can be able to look back on
this and know so much progress youhave made with speaking your story into this
existence. Without you, guys,nobody would know that this person is vile

(48:50):
and you know, be essentially amonster that is still on the streets.
And to the perpetrators, not justAdrian, but to anybody else who has
ever thought that they can control awoman or to take advantage of a woman,
I hope you realize one day thatthose actions just make you so much

(49:13):
less of a person and make thosewomen and those honorary bees so much bigger
in the end. And I hopeone day that if justice is served,
I hope it served ice cold,because again, when you mess with the
bees. There are some people outthere who I have come across who have

(49:34):
victim blamed me, and I don'tunderstand why they would ever want to do
that or if it makes them buildid, but I do know that I hope
that one day they can heal fromwhat happened to them, because I came
forward and I live with it everyday and it's very hard day by day

(49:58):
go through my day and have itnot pop in my head. And there
are people out there that will varythings down deep inside that have happened with
them, and maybe that's why theychoose to victim blame instead of being a
caring and loving human being like theyshould. What all I can say is
I really hope that everything that hashurt you and that you have gone through

(50:21):
in your lifetime that you will neverspeak about, you can actually help from,
because it's hard and it's scary,and everyone deserves to have love and
to feel okay. And there aresome people who will probably never never come
out and say what they've been through. And I'm sure that we will find

(50:42):
more victims as ay. I hopethat with our series minding the be High,
that they can get the courage tocome forward. And I hope that
people can listen and understand that youknow, we are here and we are
surviving, and just to show ofan empathy. And as far as Adrian,

(51:04):
I mean, you know, whenyou ask for fame and you wanted
it, and ultimately this is exactlywhat you're willing to get. It's not
going to be what you wanted,but you're going to get it and dressed
it will. And I hope toGod that you feel the pain that you
put us through because when you messwith the bee, fuck you for taking

(51:25):
what you took from me. Fuckyou for making me feel luck I am
not good enough or like i I'mnot worthy of being loved like a normal
fucking person. And fuck you forhurting all of these fucking women and ruining

(51:45):
everything that we have worked so fuckinghard for because when you mess with the
bees. So this is a messageto the offender, the perpetrator, and
the disgusting criminal who's been victimizing meand a bunch of other women. You're
not going to get away with this. It's going to end for you,
and it's not going to end welland personally, I really really hope that

(52:07):
you get justice, and I hopethat by every extent of the law,
you get charged with every possible thing. I hope that they look at you
under a microscope with this case andpull every single possible thing that you did
that was illegal and charge you foreverything to the full extent, because that
is exactly what you deserve. Iknow you think that you can ruin women's

(52:30):
lives, but here's a deal.I think that we are the ones who
are going to ruin your life becausewhen you mess with the bees. This
message is to my perpetrator. Iwant to thank you to the bottom of
my heart for ruining my fucking life. You robbed me of twenty years of

(52:50):
my life that could have been normal. I could have graduated from college,
I could have done a lot ofthings, but thanks to your mind control,
manipulation, gas lighting, ruining myrelationship with my family, isolating me
from them, and feeding my addictions, telling me that I was a crazy

(53:12):
one. I just want to thankyou because now I'm going to be a
stronger person. You know, Iforgive you. I have to forgive you,
because if I don't forgive you,I will drive myself crazier. But
thanks to you, I trust noone. I make mistakes, I make
bad decisions, I have poor judgmentin people, and I just want to

(53:34):
thank you for robbing me of twentyeight years that could have been very beautiful,
productive and successful. I could havehad a PhD in anything, but
thanks to the cat and mouse gameyou played with me and my family,
that's not the case. And Iwill die healing from this. Wherever you

(53:54):
are. I wish you well ifthat's a possibility where you are. I'm
saying this because that's what happens whenyou mess with the bees. Wherever you
are, whoever you are, Ijust want to say that I know that
our emotions mean nothing to you,but you are creating an army with all

(54:15):
these victims that you are tallying upon your list, and one day we
are going to end this and weare going to get you behind bars,
and we're going to make you feelthe amount of pain that we're we're feeling
right now, because it's it's notYou're not going to continue to get away
with this, and I will fightuntil the day I die to see you

(54:37):
behind bars. And so you payfor not only my humiliation, but all
these girls that I have grown closerto because of you. We're coming for
you, because when you mess withthe Bees, you get the high.
Before we wrap up completely, wewant to extend to thank you to the
following voice actors and fellow podcasters forlending their voices to all dramatizations and re

(55:00):
enactments on this series. Rosann Sinclairfrom California Dreaming Raven and Ben Rawlins from
The Sirens Podcast, Melissa and Whitneyfrom Navigating Advocacy Podcast, Kristen Sebee from
Murder She Told, Shane Waters fromFoul Play, Chris took Hone from The
Voice Choice, The keV from TheRed Filtered podcast, Ryan Terry aka Turbo

(55:24):
That's Turbo spelled t E R.B Zero, Lisa Alsip, Holly Murphy,
Tatum Connolly, Shade, Vishna SusanCorliss, Eliana Katchkey, Jason Ustrie
aka Ritchie Buck from Santa Maybe aCriminal, Nina Instead from Already Gone And

(55:44):
They Walk among America, Skattie Jagarin, Amber Harbor, Trevin and Amanda from
lib laf Larceny, Jamie Rice frommurder Ish, Dirty Money, Moves,
Judge and jury Ish, trend Vetters, and Lipstick and Lies. Special thanks
to Mamma Dye of Penalists of Supportpodcast for her insightful episode, and thank
you Kyle from DFW Exposures for yourwork behind the scenes in the case from

(56:07):
Phase one. Thank you to theperpetrators in all of these cases because we
know way more about you than youmight think. Your retribution will come.
And finally, thank you to everysingle survivor that took part in a series.
You all are strong, brave,beautiful goddesses. We appreciate and admire

(56:30):
you all because you are all strong, resilient yet vulnerable. So we must
protect the bees at all costs,for without bees, we will not survive
and thrive in life. As withoutbees, we as a human race are
doomed. So be vigilant, forwhen you mess with the bees, you

(56:51):
get the hive. Thank you forlistening to a Nefarious Nightmare. Music used
in the theme was originally by ghostStories Incorporated, remixed by Ryan rc X
Murphy. Additional background music is providedby Epidemic sound A nefarious nightmare is scripted,

(57:14):
researched, and produced by Courtney Fennerand Amanda Cronin. I'm Leney Hobbs
and as always, be vigilant forwhen you mess with the bees, you
get the hive.

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S5 E13 - Still Minding The Beehive - Surviving Sex Crimes, Part 13 - FINALE

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S5 E13 - Still Minding The Beehive - Surviving Sex Crimes, Part 13 - FINALE