S6 E3 - "A lioness’ pride" - Justice for Willow (Part 3) - A Nefarious Nightmare - True Crime

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
An afarious nightmare contains themes that maybe explicit or triggering. For some specific
warnings and disclaimers will be mentioned inthe show notes. An a faarious nightmare
assumes all parties that are mentioned inthese cases to be innocent unless proven guilty
in a court of law. Listenerdiscretion is strongly advised. You can help
us grow the show by leaving usa five star written review on Apple podcast

(00:21):
or Spotify, or you can joinour Patreon for light hearted bonus content with
this welcome to season six. Today, we will wrap up this multipart where
we await what will happen with StephenClaire, the monster who murdered his eleven
month old daughter. We will hearmore from her mother, Mariah, and
we ask you to all please rememberWillow, the bright, beautiful and innocent

(00:46):
baby whose life was stolen way toosoon. Admittedly, this has been a
very tough case to talk about andhear about, but it is important because
Mariah needs to be heard. She'snot only speaking for herself and for her
surviving children, but she's giving avoice back to her daughter, Willow,
who will forever be unable to speakfor herself. Mariah is a true hero

(01:10):
in this case, an absolute beas are her three surviving children. They
are thankfully still alive even though StephenClair stole the life of Willow Claire with
this I'm Courtney Fenner and I'm AmandaCronin and Infarious Nightmare presents a lion Is
Pride Justice for Willow Part three.Prior to continuing through this episode, we

(02:00):
do want to share something that Mariahhas actually shared with me. Now,
for context, bear in mind thatthe following voicemail that you're all about to
hear did occur after Stephen Claire,Mariah's husband at the time, was caught
having an affair on her. Atthe time, Mariah was six months pregnant
with baby Willow, so this actuallyoccurred fourteen months before the massacre. After

(02:23):
he was found out, he leftthis bullshit of an apology on her voicemail.
Please listen and I'll break it downfor you real fast. Hey,
it's me. I just want tocall and tell you I love him.
Mariah, in my life such wentin this way. You are my world.

(02:46):
You and those girls have become mylife mostly you, and I'm lost
without you. And I've got somany other things that are stressing me out
with this job and with this taxstuff, and then how with this other

(03:08):
lawsuit that I don't know what's goingto happen with that, pat How much
support am I going to get fromthe clinic now that I have no clue
and all I want is to foryou. But I have some sort of
subilities so I can lean on you, and then the thing like I can

(03:29):
do that I don't know, butI do love you. I never meant
them to parchy. I've loved youfrom the moment I laid out on you.
I'm sorry for everything I've done.I just want you to know that.

(03:54):
Now, as I've said before,we aren't licensed to diagnose to anyone.
However, I do want to pointout a few things within that voicemail
that further drives the point home thatStephen Clare is a narcissist. Now,
a skilled manipulator often can make themselvessound like they're crying to induce feelings of

(04:15):
guilt in another person. The apologysounds genuine to an untrained ear. But
if you'd like to go back andlisten, count how many I and me
statements in that minute and a halfvoicemail. Notice how he apologizes with non
apologies. He blames his misgivings onstress or the debt situation. It's never
I messed up, but it's alwaysthe devil made me do it. And

(04:39):
by the way, no matter whatis happening, debt doesn't lead you to
cheat on your spouse period. Helacks in taking ownership and accountability of any
of his actions. And notice howhe says quote you. More so when
he talks about Mariah and the childrenthat they share, we all know that,

(05:00):
even if implied, it never neededto be said. The relationship between
a parent, their spouse, andthe children they share isn't a pissing contest.
It's not about who anyone would savefirst. It's about how he deeply
damaged her ability to trust in thefirst place, and how he brought the

(05:20):
kids into it. It's the fakesniffles, the act of leaving an apology
on a voicemail in an attempt tolure her back and hoping that she bites.
A genuine apology, in my opinion, should never be in the form
of voicemail or really any digital media, unless there's no physical way to meet

(05:41):
the person where they are, andif he were truly sorry, he'd have
given her enough space to allow herto heal, so that way she could
come around and address it when andif she's ready. If leaving a voicemail
was genuinely the only way that hecould reach her, then a simple I'm
sorry and when you're ready, I'dlike to discuss this with you in person

(06:02):
would have sufficed. And finally,if he was truly sorry, he wouldn't
have massacred his family. I'm surewe all can imagine that losing a family
member or friend to homicide is alreadynot easy. This would prove to be
the worst day of someone's life,and we all can agree here, it

(06:23):
never gets better. You experience variousstages of grief and trauma, pain,
numbness, and even anger. It'ssomething that nobody ever would want to experience.
Nobody could possibly even begin to comprehenduntil it does happen. But then
it's an intense and especially traumatic kindof horror when it's your infant child,

(06:46):
your sweet child, who did nothingto anyone, who came into this world
needing to be loved, cared for, looked after, fed, bathed,
clothed, nurtured, happy. Theydidn't asked to be here, and they
certainly didn't do anything to justify theirlife being taken. I think we can

(07:06):
all agree that no matter who youare, as long as you have some
sort of compassion and empathy woven withinthe fabric of your own humanity, there
is just no reason to ever murdera child. But unfortunately, it does
happen, and even more unfortunately,a parent would often be the perpetrator.

(07:28):
However, there is something to besaid about the instinct any good mom would
have when they sense that their childrenare in danger. We've heard about that
instinct coming into play when the mothersuddenly becomes fierce, that instinct kicks in
and pure adrenaline takes over. It'sbeen said that sometimes adrenaline makes a mother

(07:48):
strong enough to lift an entire fourdoor sedan if it meant saving their child.
Mariah is the hero of this story. Case in point. Mariah have
the compassion and love to be ableto put her own children before herself.
She did become their human shield,protecting them to the absolute best of her
own abilities, and endured multiple gunshotwounds to the pelvic and hip area while

(08:13):
using pure logic mixed with adrenaline tohave the resourcefulness to instinctively know how many
bullets were in that gun. Shefought through the burning hot pain that every
bullet blow by blow had hit,but still had the strength of grit her
teeth and fight through it. Theonly thing that was on her mind was
I need to protect my babies,and she did just that. However,

(08:37):
Stephen Clare was relentless. Just whenyou think he had enough, his ruthlessness
and pure evil took it up anotch. This was a cold and calculated
game to him, and he wasnot going to ever stop until he made
some kind of impact and, inhis own mind, won the game what

(09:00):
costs. Though he is and wasclearly either a narcissist or a sociopath,
he lacked the empathy to be ableto care for anyone but himself. And
if he saw his wife as anythingat all, it was as a trophy,
as property and his children. Ifhe saw his own flesh and blood
as anything to him at all,it was as a mere extension of his

(09:22):
self, nothing more and nothing less. And once that property or extension could
no longer serve him and his desires, just as with everything else, it
becomes disposable. Something he could carelesslytoss in the garbage and forget about Stephen
Claire is a monster, nothing moreand nothing less. With this in mind,

(09:45):
we will wrap this up with theremainder of Mariah's recollection of events.
I feel his presence next to me, and so I look up and he's
got a gun in my face.The moment that I looked up over,
I immediately look up to his face. I kind of just go past what
he's holding to look at his face, and I just ask him like,

(10:09):
what are you looking at? Andthen I glanced down and I see the
gun and my immediate thought was he'sjoking. This is a fake gun.
And so then I ask him like, what are you doing? And I
laugh at him because I think he'splaying a joke on me, the sickest

(10:33):
joke ever put a joke, nonetheless, and he tells me to get up.
I was like, okay, getup, and then what and He's
like, get in the car.And I ask him where are we going?
Why am I getting in the car? And his response was get in
the fucking car. Mariah, I'mgoing to kill you and every single one

(10:56):
of your kids. You want toact like a or well, you're not
going to make it this time.And at that point I realize that this
is serious, that he's not joking, and so I start trying to de
escalate the situation. And now I'mstanding in front of him, and I
can smell the alcohol on his breath, and so I assume, like,

(11:20):
oh, well, you've been drinking, you know. So I tell him
you're upset. I can see you'reclear clearly upset. Let's just take a
second, let's talk about this.You don't want to do this, just
let's just take let's sit down.And he tells me no, to go
get in the car and continued tojust yell at me. And then I

(11:41):
realized I was going to have toact like I'm gonna have to get that
gun out of his hand. SoI grab it and I start trying to
twist it out of his hand.I'm using both hands to try to,
you know, to get it awayfrom him. And as I start doing
that, he starts punching me inthe face. He starts hitting me with

(12:01):
the gun. At one point hestarted hitting me in the body with his
knees and just totally beating the hellout of me because I'm trying to get
this gun from him, and sowe continue to fight like this for a
minute, and I get his fingeroff of the trigger, but I can't
get the gun out of his hand, and so I look for things that

(12:26):
I can use to hit him.And as I'm doing that, you know,
I see there's really nothing around exceptfor my room but vacuum. But
I can't quite get to it yet, so I try to, Like I
think, if I can just scratchhim in the eyes or like poke his
eyes, then maybe he won't beable to see for a minute and it
will allow me to like run becauseI'm not so far away from the front

(12:48):
door that it's like unattainable. SoI go to scratch his eyes, and
like, it does absolutely nothing.And I've seen it in like movie and
stuff. In real life, itjust doesn't work that way. And I'm
in total fight mode. I'm bitinghim, and he just like as I'm

(13:11):
biting him, he's just punching mein the back of the head trying to
get me off of him. Butstill it's not like hurting him, and
so I quickly just reached down grabbedthe room button. I hit him over
the head with it, and Iguess it knocked him back just enough for
me to like take off toward thefront door and run to go get help.
And he's right behind me, soI'm thankfully faster than he is,

(13:37):
but he still has the gun.I run to the neighbor's yard across the
street, and I start banging ontheir door to try to get help,
and I'm screaming at the top ofmy lungs. My husband is going to
kill me and all of my kids. Someone called the police, and I'm
just screaming help, just this bloodcurdling I still hear it at night when

(14:00):
I sleep, scream. It waslike the voice that was coming out of
me was not even my voice.But I turned back because they're not answering
their door. I'm going to continueto run to the next house. I
turn back to look at him,honestly, to make sure he's still there,
make sure he's not going back afterthe kids, and he is,

(14:22):
and the way that he looked,you know, I'm running and he's just
at most fast walking, and Ican see in his eyes like everything is
in slow motion, but it's alsohappening so fast, like you're stuck in
this weird version of reality, likein a matrix, almost and his eyes

(14:50):
are just black and cold. Hehas no expression on his face, just
is normal. I mean, histhe way he normally holds his face is
very aggressive anyway, and it's justlike that. It's just this weird,
scary, sinister look. And he'swalking as if he is one of the

(15:15):
murderers in like a slasher movie,like Jason or Michael Myers or whatever,
just walking after me, and somehowhe's still keeping up. And so right
before I get to the next yardis when he fires off the first gun,
the first bullet, and it hitsme in the side, like my

(15:37):
upper thigh area, and I'm wearingpajama pants, so they're like they're kind
of tight, and I could seewhere it went through my pants, and
so I felt this intense burning feeling, and I'm thinking that it just grazed

(15:58):
me, because the way that itfel else was like I was cut,
and so I put my hand onit just to assess what was going on,
and there wasn't a whole lot ofblood. So I was like,
all right, I'm okay, I'mgoing to keep running. So I just
grab my leg and I just keepgoing, and I'm continuing to look back

(16:18):
to make sure that he's still there. And I mean, at this point,
even if I can just get himto chase me down the street,
he's not around my kids. I'mbuying us time. And so finally I
see a lady hiding behind a carand she has a phone up to her
ear and she's like, hey,I've got the police on the phone.
I called nine one one. They'recoming. You're going to be okay,

(16:40):
They're coming, And so a partof me is like, okay, how
can I I just need to stall. That's it. Someone is coming to
help us. And as I'm talkingto her, he's turning around to go
back to the house, and soI immediately follow and I see him.

(17:00):
I guess he must have tried toopen the front door, which was now
locked. He's going to the sideof the house where I have like a
sliding glass door, but there's alsoa gate. You have to press in
a code let yourself in through thegate, and then you can, you
know, get into the sliding glassdoor and anyway, so I start banging

(17:21):
on the front door, telling myson, Hey, it's me, let
me in, and so he does, and I tell him to run,
take your sisters and hide, andso he goes off through the kitchen into
where my father's room was, soI know, like, okay, that's
where they are. They're safe.I'm just keeping these mental notes as I

(17:41):
go on. I have already notedlike what the gun looked, like,
how many bullets he had. I'mtrying to tell myself, like, Okay,
count how many times it fires off, so you can keep track of
how much ammunition is left. Allthese things that you wouldn't think you would
have the capacity to do you underthose circumstances, but you do, like

(18:03):
you're in survival mode. And I'ma mother and I will do whatever it
takes to make sure my babies aresafe. And so he, as I
assumed he would, came through thesliding glass door and I'm sitting there with
him, and he like he walksup to me, and I was like,

(18:23):
Hey, we've got to stop,and I'm just like, I'm pleading
with him, please stop doing this, and so he has me walk.
He's just asking for my boys,like where's Brayln, where's Copeland? I
want the kids? Tell me wherethe boys are. I want them,
And then he's specifically just reiterating thathe wants my oldest son, like he

(18:48):
was saying his name the most,and I was like, I don't know
where they are. So he's like, well, you're going to show me.
So he makes me walk with himdown my hall way and that's where
most of the bedrooms are, asidefrom my father's room, who was on
the other side of the house.But I walk into my bedroom, there's

(19:10):
no kids in there. I walkinto my girl's bedroom, there's no kids
in there. Then he has mewalk into my son's room again it's empty.
But I sit on the bed becauseI was like, well, maybe
I can stall here, and soI sit and I just tell him like,
hey, I'm exhausted, let's stopthis. You don't want to do

(19:33):
this, Like it's not too lateto turn around. I'm not really hurt
like you shot me, but I'mokay. We don't have to tell anyone.
If you just go home, Iwon't even go to the hospital.
I'm okay. And so I wasjust begging him to change his mind,
and he didn't care. He continuedto beat me as I sat there on

(19:57):
the bed. At this point,I was just blocking myself. I wasn't
hitting him back. I was justtrying to get him to stop, and
I'm exhausted from already, you know, just exerting all the energy to try
to fight him and from running.So I'm just I'm I'm worn out.
And then all of a sudden,I see my daughter, Rosalie, my

(20:18):
two year old, in the hallwayoutside of the room. She's pressed up
against the door and she's screaming andshe's crying, and she's saying my name,
Mama, mama, and she's screamingfor him, don't hurt my mama.
And so I look at him andI was like, Dode, is
this how you want her to rememberyou? Look at what you're doing to

(20:40):
her? And he just didn't care. There wasn't a single thing I could
say to him that brought up anysort of kindness or compassion or understanding.
Like he was there to kill.That was it. Like he was hunting,
and there was nothing that was goingto get him the way of what

(21:00):
he came there to do. Andso I don't know where Rosalie went after
that, but he ended up grabbingme by my hair and dragging me out
of that room, and we endedup, for some reason, we skipped
the bathroom where my eight year oldwas. I think he was just so
set on finding my oldest son that, you know, he just continued on.

(21:26):
And so we stopped by the kitchen, and again I just lean on
the counter and tell him how tiredI am and beg him to stop.
And I ended up grabbing a knifefrom my knife block that was on my
counter, and I tried to stabhim with it, but I just I
couldn't move fast enough, and bythe time it was about to make contact

(21:48):
with him, he grabs it frommy hand and he takes it and then
starts swinging it at me. Andhe's got the gun in one hand swinging
the knife in the other hand,and I had no choice but to just
grab the blade of the knife andI twisted that out of his hand and
I ended up throwing it across theroom. And he told me he wanted

(22:08):
Copeland. Where's Copeland, my eightyear old? And I told him he
was at a friend's house. Hewasn't there. So then I tried to
grab the gun again to start twistingit out of his hand, and then

(22:30):
he shoots me. And the timehe shot me in the stomach, and
the pain was so much different thanthe one being shot in the leg.
I just knew that I was seriouslyinjured, and I didn't have much time.
But I think knowing that the policewere on their way, and knowing

(22:52):
that he had four more bullets thathe could use on my four kids,
gave me the strength to continue tofight him. So I just mustered up
whatever strength I had left, andI pushed him into my living room,
closer to that sliding glass door,and he ended up tackling me on my
couch and we fought there for aminute, and he pushed me down on

(23:18):
my knees and there was nothing Icould do. I couldn't get the gun
away from him. At that moment, I knew I was going to have
to be shot four more times.So I held the barrel of the gun
and I used every bit of knowledgeI had in anatomy and physiology, and
I aimed the gun at my pelvisbecause I knew it would miss my major

(23:41):
organs and I would probably survive.I would never be able to have children
again, but I would survive.And he started shooting, and I counted
one, two, and my oldestson ended up coming out of hiding and
he jumped on his back and triedto fight him to get him off of

(24:04):
me. And so I'm screaming atthat child because I'm like, what are
you doing, Like I'm trying toprotect you. You are supposed to be
safe, Like why are you stillin this house? You know? And
so I just scream at him,go high, get out of here,

(24:25):
call nine one one, And sohe gets off of his back and Stephen
turns to like go after him,and so I don't let him. I
continue to just fight him in whateverway I can distract him. And at
one point he fired the gun andthat one did not hit me. That

(24:48):
one broke the glass behind me.I think it bounced off the floor and
there was shattered glass everywhere. Andafter that he the final bullet shot me
and hit me in my face andwent all the way through and came out
of my neck on the other side. And it was so painful. I

(25:11):
just grabbed my face and I wasjust trying to hold it together because it
physically felt like my face had exploded, and I could feel the inside of
my cheek where the bullet entered,like I was biting on something. There's
blood. I'm swallowing blood, I'minhaling blood. At that moment, I

(25:34):
knew that I was going to die, that he just killed me. He
did the thing that I told everyonehe would do. My close friends,
the people I intimately confided in.I thought, one day, this man
is going to kidnap me or killme. I shared my location with my

(25:59):
father, just different things. Itold people, Hey, if I come
up missing, it was him.He had this ongoing joke which turned out
to not be a joke. Hewould always tell me because I didn't want
to move with him to all thesedifferent places every week he wanted to move
to a different location. I didn'twant to abandon my children and move with

(26:23):
him. So he told me,you know, Mariah, one day,
I am going to throw you inthe trunk of a car and we are
going to leave the kids behind,and I'm going to take you. And
there's nothing you'll be able to dobecause you won't know where we're going,
and you're not going to have achoice. You're just gonna have to go

(26:44):
with me, and it's just goingto be me and you. And so
at the time, I thought,oh, you know, that's just him
trying to display his love. Buton April tenth, he planned on putting
me in his car and killing mychildren and taking me to who knows where,
to who knows what with me,And so at that moment it was

(27:07):
like a full circle. I knewI was going to die. I just
needed to stay alive long enough toget help from my kids. So I
leaned forward and I'm coughing up blood, and I get so weak and dizzy
that I have to just crawl downmy driveway. My eight year old son

(27:29):
is sticking out of a broken window, asking me if it's safe, and
I wave him on. I can'ttalk, but I nod my head and
he runs, and he's wearing pajamapants because he was taking a shower,
and no one was prepared to haveto run for their lives, and so
he ran down the street, soI knew he was safe and got I

(27:52):
crawled down to the sidewalk and goton my hands and knees, rested myself
on my elbow, rested my foreheadon the concrete so the blood would run
up and out so I could breathe, and I just waited, and I
kept telling myself, they're coming,Stay alive, They're coming. And a

(28:14):
female officer gets on scene and sheasks me questions, you know, who
did it, where do they live, what's their day to birth, you
know that whole thing. And Igive them all the information I have and
I tell her, look, Ihave four kids in that house. I'm
dying, Please go save my kids. And she refused to leave me because

(28:38):
I was in such horrible condition.I'd been shot five times. I'm bleeding
from all different parts of my body. And at one point I remember hearing
them say there's three kids in thehouse. There's one missing, and that
was my son who'd run down thestreet. But at the time, I

(29:00):
and you know, I didn't makethat connection. So you know, I'm
asking them, where are my kids? I need you to find my kids,
and I'm just I'm frantic, andthey get me in an ambulance and
I never lose consciousness, and Ijust remember the paramedics telling me just keep

(29:21):
breathing. We're almost there. Juststay with us, keep breathing. And
I was actually I was okay ifI died. I was okay with it
because I just wanted them to besafe, and I thought they had been.
I thought they were safe. Buthe went back and tore my house
apart, looking for my children.He pulled my bed out five feet from

(29:45):
the wall to look for kids underneathit. He kicked down two doors,
He pulled a closet door off thehinges. He took that knife that I
had used to try to protect myselfthat I'm I threw across the room.
He found my daughters, our daughters, his babies, and he I don't

(30:08):
know where he found them, butthey ended up in the hallway in front
of the bathroom, and he laidthem on the floor next to each other,
and he took that knife and heslaughtered my babies as I lay dying
on the sidewalk, because I wastrying to protect them and killing me wasn't

(30:30):
enough. He went after them,and he hurt my baby first, and
he made Rosalie watch. After hehurt Willow. He did the same thing
to Rosalie. And then he leftthem with their insides pouring out of their
little bodies, lying in their ownpuddles of blood. And he went home

(30:53):
and he put his clothing that's coveredin his own daughter's blood, he put
it in the washing sheene. Heput on his pajamas. He even put
a skull pouch in his mouth,his chewing tobacco and he sat on the
couch to watch TV with his nineteenyear old son, like nothing happened,

(31:15):
Like he didn't just massacre. Heis currently incarcerated. They gave him a
bond initially, and his brother isa retired San Antonio policeman. And it
wasn't me begging to keep him inthat made the judge change his mind or

(31:38):
make you know, it didn't makethem want a bond hearing. It was
his brother who wrote a letter tothe judge and the DA asking that they
not let him out because he isa danger to himself and a danger to
society, and that he would eitherflee or he would come and can continue

(32:00):
and finish what he started. Iwas in the ICU, in critical condition
with drains and tubes all over mybody, worrying about this man getting out
of jail and coming to kill us, the rest of us. That he
did not get the opportunity to killor did not succeed in killing my sons.

(32:25):
Went to school two minutes from hishome, and they were going to
let him out with the condition thathe wear a GPS monitor because that works.
So they finally had a bond hearing. He's remanded without bond until his
trial. They haven't decided whether ornot they will be pursuing the death penalty,

(32:50):
but at least we know until trialwe're safe. And the trial probably
happened sometime in the summer of twentytwenty four. Maybe I'm sure it'll get
postponed. Who knows. But wehad fake names. We had to be
protected with alternate aliases, just incase he would get out. My daughter

(33:14):
could not even walk. She herinjuries were so extensive. She was in
so much pain, and I meanshe was in extreme pain for at least
two or three months after I mean, he essentially. The only thing I
could compare it to is how theyperform autopsies on people. She was cut

(33:39):
from her diaphragm down and then hadother stab wounds as well. The last
thing they should have done was lethim back out on the streets. You
can't rehabilitate a person like that.My daughter, my Willow, my eleven
month old, she sat in arefrigerator for two and a half weeks.

(34:04):
I wasn't there. My dad hadto act as our power of attorney and
make decisions in regards to my daughters. Because I was trying to survive.
I was at a completely different hospitalthan they were. I wasn't there in
her last moments. And the worstpart for me, not only did he

(34:25):
come and take every sense of safetyfrom my life, he also he stole
my entire grieving process. He tookmy ability to grieve the loss of my

(34:52):
daughter and the injuries that my otherbaby sustained. I've been living in this
whirlwind of trauma. I haven't evenbeen able to slow down and take a
breath and really absorb what happened tome, much less my entire family,

(35:13):
and that I will never I'll neverbe able to forgive him for what he
did. But I think the thingthat seals that for me is knowing that
my baby girl died alone and shewas left unclaimed in name Morgue. I
needed his signature to cremate her.They served him the papers in jail.

(35:37):
It is just another thing that makesit so evident that abusers are protected,
their rights are valued, no matterwhat they've done. He cut that baby
open, the baby that I knittogether in my womb. He dismantled with

(36:00):
his own two hands and a knife, and I needed his permission to cremate
what was left of her little body. The moment I realized that I survived,
I immediately knew that I needed toshare our story. I needed to
do everything I could to ensure thatthis didn't happen to other people, that

(36:23):
those women or men or whomever,the human beings that cry for help,
they should get help. And Iknew that I was going to be the
person to make sure that gets doneto the best of my abilities. And
Willow's life was so short, butthat doesn't mean that her legacy should not

(36:49):
continue on. And every time Ishare our story, I get to also
share her and with every person whohears what happened to her, every person
we can save, that adds alittle bit more to her legacy, and
she will live on for as longas I'm able to continue making people listen

(37:13):
to me. I think she wouldwant change. She would want for eleven
month old babies, innocent, defenselesslittle babies and their moms and their siblings
to be protected. Rosalie is startingballet lessons in two days. She already
thinks she's a fully trained ballerina,so she's really excited. I started her

(37:39):
in piano lessons about probably a monthago. For me, music has been
extremely therapeutic, and since she's solittle, like she just turned three,
so it was hard for me toeven like I couldn't get her into therapy.
She still hasn't started therapy because noone will see her or even put

(38:01):
her on a waiting list until three. So I was like, how can
I find an avenue for this childto express herself? Music? Of course,
like music, dance, whatever Ican do. I'm not a trained
therapist. All I know is whatI know. I know how to be
a mom, and i know howto love my kids, and so I've

(38:22):
been doing everything I can to justlove her through her trauma. And you
know, she every single day asksme if her dad is coming back,
if he's going to come back andget her, and I have to remind
her that she's safe. She hasnightmares and it's more of like a night

(38:44):
terror. She'll sit up with hereyes wide open and she's just screaming and
she's flailing her arms and screaming toyou know, to stop and just kind
of reliving it while she's supposed tobe sleeping. And you know, I'm
just it's so difficult for me asher mom because I want to just heal

(39:08):
her. I want it to beall better for her, but I realize
that this is going to be withher for the rest of her life.
So I just have to find waysto also bring joy to her and help
her to just be a normal toddlerand not just a victim of a crime

(39:30):
or a survivor of homicide attempted homicide. You know. And my boys are
they're incredible. My oldest son,he's so much like me. He just
he like over volunteers himself. Hewants to be involved in church and school

(39:52):
and all these extra curricular activities.And I'm like, when are you going
to sleep? You know, hejust started middle school, so on top
of like all the other adjustments he'shad to have. I mean, after
this happened, we were literally homeless. We couldn't go back to our murder

(40:13):
house, so we were living inan airbnb for a while, and like
we had nowhere to go. So, you know, our summer was absolutely
crazy. And then he had tojust adjust to now going to middle school
and he's a preteen and he justgot braces, and you know, he's

(40:35):
got all his stuff going on.So he's in counseling and it's really helping
him. He loves his counselor.He's learning some really good relaxation techniques and
just learning more. It's a traumabased program, so he's learning a lot
about trauma, and you know,he just he's also like me in a

(40:57):
sense that he wants to find meaningin what happened to us, and he
wants to use this to help otherpeople. So he will probably be like
the Man of the future who putshimself as the poster child for domestic violence,
kind of like I have. Buthe's such a good human being.

(41:20):
He always has been, and I'mso thankful that trauma has not tainted him
because it absolutely could have. Andmy eight year old, he's just like
this aggressive little bundle of fire.You know, he plays football, so
he's getting all of his aggression outin football and using every opportunity that he

(41:45):
can find to skip school. Usuallyit's well, I'm feeling anxious today,
so can I stay home like youwere skipping school before this? So no,
But he definitely he's the one whobrings the spark to our household.
So even though he can be difficultat times, I'm very thankful for who

(42:07):
he is to because he is justthe right amount of spice that we need.
And I'm just I'm just thankful forthose kids because we have such a
strong family unit that even though themost horrific violent thing happened to us,

(42:27):
it has not broken us. Likewe are still very much living our lives
and living it together and loving eachother. And you know that's a lot
of times in situations like this.Most people fortunately don't experience things to this
magnitude, but you can really checkfor like fault lines in your family because

(42:52):
they will become evident after something likethis. And for us, like it's
only brought us closer together because nowwe share in this trauma experience. So
you know, we're all just we'retaking it day by day, and we
have an open line of communication betweenall of us. We share our feelings

(43:14):
and we share the good and thebad, and we cry together sometimes and
we celebrate together. And we've gotWillow. Her urn is on my entertainment
center in the living room. Iwanted to put it in a place where
we spend a lot of our timeso that way we can all just kind
of remember her. We see herbefore we go to school or work or

(43:35):
whatever, and we get to seeher when we come home, and it's
got her little stuffed animals and herblanket, and we've just created a little
memorial for her. One of thekids put like a like a Resie's cup
on her earn. I don't knowwhich one of them it was, but
I haven't moved it. It's beenthere for like two months. And so
one of them brought our candy,and I thought that was really sweet.

(43:58):
But we talk about her all thetime, and you know, I love
those moments that we can just reminisceon the happy stuff and her life,
not just her death. Like her, she's not just how she died,
you know, she was so muchmore than that. She was so full

(44:19):
of life. And I'm thankful thatwe can all just remember her and let
her live on in that way aswell. She was a funny baby,
She's and not. She was notone of those babies that would just laugh
all the time. She wasn't supersocial like Rosalie has to be the star
of the show. Willow was verymuch on the other end of the spectrum.

(44:42):
Like she would not smile at you, she would not laugh at you.
She would just look at you,and it's like she was just judging
you, like seeing what was goingon. She's like, let me figure
you out before I let you makeme laugh. But when you would make
her laugh, it was literally thesweetest thing, Like her laugh was just

(45:04):
contagious. It was the cutest thing. And she was so sassy, like
she did not like my dogs.They would come near her and she would
just hit them and scream. Shewould always like, it's so funny because
the things that we forget, right, Like I've forgotten a lot of things
in the last five months since ourattack because just trauma, like it makes

(45:28):
your brain totally useless. But Iforgot all the noises that she made until
I heard a baby like making thesesquawking noises, and I'm like, oh
my gosh. Willow used to dothat all the time, and she would
like get into everything. She'd crawlreal fast and like go find the dog's
bowl of food, and she'd likehurry up and eat it because she knew

(45:50):
she was gonna get caught as soonas we heard the bowl like flip over.
So I'd go and I'd pull herand put her on the other side
of the house and I'd move thedog food so she and find it,
and then she'd find the bowl whereI put it, and then she'd do
it again. And like these crazythings that like they drove me crazy at
the time, but now looking back, I'm like, that is It's so

(46:13):
funny, and I will always cherishthose memories. Like every time I look
at my dog's food, I'm goingto think of her because she was always
trying to steal it. Hated thedogs loved their food. You know,
it was incredible. If I couldsit down and have a meeting with law

(46:34):
enforcement, therapists, social workers,doctors, any people who work in hospitals,
anyone who could potentially come in contactwith a victim or a potential victim
of domestic violence. One it wouldbe if she says she feels unsafe,

(46:57):
she's scared, or he's going tohurt her, Believe her. These are
there are key words that you needto look for. Do not brush her
off when she's telling you he's stalkingme, he's harassing me, any of
these things. Maybe in certain stateshe's not breaking a law, but take

(47:19):
it seriously. Don't make her feelbelittled or dramatic because she's asking for help.
I was absolutely discouraged from even attemptingto get a protective order. I
was discouraged because I didn't have bruisesall over my body. I was told

(47:42):
by therapists to just play his gameand I would be fine. There are
things that no, maybe it's justinnocent advice, but in circumstances like this,
there is no innocent advice. Youtake her seriously and you help do
whatever you can to advocate for her, because it's your responsibility, no matter

(48:04):
what your position is, when youare working with the public, it's your
responsibility. And I mean even asmuch as you know. I was trying
to file for food stamps to tryto get help buying groceries. I literally
I told the lady on the phone, I am being abused. I need

(48:27):
help. This is the only wayI can get out of my situation.
And she told me she couldn't helpme. She would have to call my
ex husband and verify where the cashwas coming from that was in my bank
account, whatever little bits of cashhe was allowing me to have. We
need complete training across the board.If anyone listens to my episode and they

(48:55):
are wondering what they can get outof it, if they are a victim
who is currently experiencing domestic violence,or if they are trying to co parent
with someone that was abusing them andthey left, I just hope that they

(49:15):
are safe. I hope they don'tunderestimate what could happen. Instead of thinking
why me, start training yourself tothink why not me? It happens to
in Texas one in three women,why not? You don't take it lightly?

(49:37):
Find a way to leave safely.There are resources available, and if
you can't find a government funded agencyto help you, there are plenty of
us that are survivors that have startednonprofits that want to help. We will
find a way to create some undergroundrailroad and get you out. And if

(50:01):
it's someone who just loves someone whohas been abused or is being abused,
stop asking questions that assume that it'sher fault or that she had some responsibility
in it. We're not going tovictim blame anymore. We have to do
better because we know better, anddon't ask like why don't you just leave?

(50:25):
Or there's a reason these obvious questionsthere are obvious answers, or maybe
not so obvious answers. Just helpher or him, love them and find
a way to get them out safely. And again, there are resources available.
If you can't find one, oneof us can help you. There's

(50:46):
an army of us. Again,this happens to one in three women,
one in four women in other stateswhatever, nationwide. One and four.
That's a lot of people to askfor help. From an open letter written
by Mariah to the assailant Stephen clareis as follows quote. Did you see

(51:07):
me crying? Could you hear myscreams? You left me there dying?
I was down on my knees.I begged you to stop. I needed
to breathe. My body was tired. You continued to hunt me, blow
after blow. I took to theface, your knees to my body.
You were up for the chase.I tried to run. I pleaded for

(51:29):
help. You wanted me dead.I wanted to melt. My kids were
inside. I needed them safe.I took you on, and you gave
me a race. As afraid asI was, I looked in your eyes.
I wouldn't give up. I wastired of your lies. You continue
to strike the last bullet in mydemise. The wolf got the lamb,

(51:52):
but the children were fine. Whenthe lamb left the house wounded from all
sides, the wolf, the children, they were hiding inside. With intent
and great focus, he laid themboth down. He knew at this point
there was no turning around. Likea wolf gets their prey, he attacks

(52:13):
with great force. They were turnedinside out, but he held no remorse.
He left them for dead, andhe walked to his car. I
wonder if he considered that he tookit too far. Did he think they
were dead? Did their screams makehim cry? He went home, washed
the blood and didn't even hide.He sat down and carried on like a

(52:37):
predator does. He captured his prey. He was high from the buzz.
His itch was then scratched. Hehad won the great race. But that
wolf didn't know that the prey thathe chased, she would rise, She
would climb, She would wait forher time, because she wasn't a lamb,

(52:57):
but a lioness with sharp eyes.Once she rested and healed, she
began her pursuit. That wolf wouldone day meet his death on her tooth.
He will pay for his crime ifit costs her her life. One
thing you don't do is hunt alioness and her pride. Stephen Clare was

(53:19):
charged with capital murder, assault witha deadly weapon, and also attempted capital
murder. He now resides behind bars, awaiting a decision on whether or not
he will be handed the death penalty. If the DA decides to go through
with the death penalty, it willbe the first since the murder of Benjamin
Marconi, a detective in the SanAntonio PD in twenty twenty one, a

(53:43):
murder perpetrated by Otis McCain. Nomatter how you feel about the death penalty,
we ask you all to remember WillowClaire as we all want justice in
her favor. She was a bright, beautiful and innocent eleven month old who
brought pears your joy to those wholoved her the most, whose life was

(54:04):
cut short by a heartless, narcissisticmonster who did not want to lose a
game. Willow, Rosalie Copeland,Braylan Mariah are all bees. Bees are
strong, resilient, yet vulnerable.We must protect the bees at all costs,

(54:24):
for without them, life on earthas we know it will not continue.
Bees are responsible to help us ashuman beings survive and thrive in life.
So be vigilant, for when youmess with the bees, you get
the Hive, thank you for listeningto A Nefarious Nightmare. Music used in

(54:51):
the theme was originally by ghost StoriesIncorporated remixed by Ryan RCX Murphy. Additional
background music is provided by Epidemic Sound. A Nefarious Nightmare is scripted, researched,
and produced by Courtney Fenner and AmandaCronin. I'm Lany Hobbes and as
always, be vigilant for when youmess with the bees, you get the hive.

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S6 E3 - "A lioness’ pride" - Justice for Willow (Part 3)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S6 E3 - "A lioness’ pride" - Justice for Willow (Part 3)