September 10, 2024 • 15 mins
Have you ever felt overwhelmed trying to manage everything on your own and wondered if it's time to seek professional help? As a Christian trauma therapist, I've seen the transformative power of establishing a therapeutic relationship before reaching a crisis point. In this solo episode, I share my personal journey and the wisdom I've gained, urging you to be proactive about your mental health. We'll explore why waiting until you're in severe distress isn't the best approach and how building trust with a counselor can make tough times more manageable. The episode also delves into cultural perspectives on therapy, encouraging you to seek wise counsel sooner rather than later for your emotional and mental well-being.
This podcast isn't just about listening—it's about actionable steps for personal growth. I created this content with the intention of serving as a valuable resource rather than mere entertainment. I'll share my heart for practical application, and I warmly invite you to be part of this journey by suggesting topics that matter to you via direct messages on Instagram at @jemeselachel. Join me in this meaningful conversation and take the first step towards proactive mental and emotional self-care.
✨NEW HERE? ✨ Meet Jemese LaChel Drewery, LCSW, CCTP - Spirit-filled trauma expert and host of A New Creation Podcast. Through Christ-centered conversations and inspiring testimonies, Jemese guides women to healing, deeper faith, and freedom in Jesus Christ.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you ever wondered how you determine when
it's time to stop trying to dostuff on your own and instead
hire out a professionalcounselor or therapist?
If you've ever had thosequestions, you definitely don't
want to miss this episode.
I think the answers areactually going to surprise you.
Well, hey there, welcome backto a new creation podcast where
(00:32):
we are pointing women towardsvictory in Christ, one Jesus
story at a time.
My name is Jameis Lachelle.
I am your host.
I'm a Christian traumatherapist.
Let's dive right in to today'sepisode.
Well, hey there, welcome back.
So we're doing something alittle different.
It's nothing that we haven'tseen or done here before on the
podcast, but this is just a soloepisode of me just yapping at
you.
A little bit more than that, Ihope, but I want to share about
(00:55):
this subject.
So recently I was invited toshare my insight and expertise
on my church podcast.
You can go look it up.
Shout out to the revolution.
You can go search out therevolution podcast, and we did
just a conversation about theintersection of faith and mental
health.
And there is a specificquestion that I was asked that I
(01:19):
cannot let go.
It's like the Lord will not letme turn loose this question.
I'm like man, I really need toexpound on that.
And so today, as you can seejudging by the title of the
episode, actually we clicked on.
We're talking about how to knowwhen it's time to seek out a
counselor.
(01:40):
And one second, because I amliterally just recording this on
the fly, let me turn off mynoisemakers.
Okay, my doorbell's going off.
Yeah, how do you know when it'stime to seek help?
How do you know when you needto reach out and hire a
counselor?
How do you even know that it'stime to do that?
Let's talk about it, but beforewe do, can we pray really quick
(02:01):
?
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor another opportunity to meet.
We thank you for anotheropportunity to pray.
God, I ask that you would blessmyself, bless the listener,
bless their ears, lord Jesus,and just let your will be done
in this episode.
I just pray that in Jesus'blessed name.
Amen.
For most people, if they answerthis question, how do you know
(02:24):
when it's time to go and hire aprofessional therapist or
professional counselor?
It's really going to depend onyour own specific worldview,
because some cultures are suchthat we just don't share our
dirty laundry, we just don'ttalk about it, and sadly, that
is the reason why so many of usneed therapy today, because
(02:45):
generation after generation haskind of perpetuated this silence
.
It's not healthy.
So there's that camp andthere's there's other camp where
it is very culturallyappropriate to seek out a
therapist.
I think that one of the commonbeliefs is that you go get a
therapist, you go hire atherapist because you're having
(03:08):
severe problems and you're notwrong.
Right, if that's the case,absolutely, when you are going
through something, when you aregoing through the storm, when
you think about even thedisciples on the boat right
during the storm, they werereally losing it and they
thought they were going to die.
And what did they do?
(03:29):
They went to the Lord.
I don't know that.
If you, you know, read thescriptures and just fully
execute the scriptures, werethey going to Jesus because they
wanted his counsel?
Or were they going to Jesus tocomplain a little bit about Lord
?
How could you be sleeping?
In any case, they knew thatthere was a need outside of
themselves.
They were in trouble, theyneeded something.
There's those times when you'rein the storm and I think that's
(03:51):
what most people think of.
They kind of wait until they'rein serious trouble.
They kind of wait until all theother things that they have
attempted to heal the situation.
Those things aren't workinganymore.
Sadly, sometimes it takes, youknow, falling into sin.
(04:12):
Falling into.
I'm going to try to drink thisaway, I'm going to try to numb
this away, I'm going to try toeat my feelings right, that's
very overlooked.
I'm going to try to shop thisaway when those things are no
longer working.
You know, I think most peoplemight say, okay, that's a great
indication that you might have abigger problem and you need to
go seek support, and that isabsolutely true.
But I would like to reframe ourway of approaching therapy in
(04:39):
the sense that why wait untilyou are in the middle of a storm
?
It is absolutely a thousandtimes better, if you will.
I say that in air quotes,because anytime you go and get
therapy for your problems, likeyou're winning already.
So but if you can go and getthat therapy initiated and if
(05:03):
you can go and make thatconnection with a good counselor
while things are actuallyalready going well, I'd say that
is actually the most ideal time, because it's so much easier to
reach out for your lifelinelike to reach out for help, to
pick up the phone when youalready have that bridge built
right.
I think a lot of times what endsup happening is we wait until
(05:27):
we are in the hot seat andyou're in crisis mode.
But like, the thing aboutcrises is you can quickly put
out the fire, but that crisishas burnt through so much of
your life.
If you can initiate the wisecounsel in your life, if you can
initiate that relationship whenthings are already going well,
(05:56):
that relationship when thingsare already going well, you're
in so much better positionbecause you will already have
established a rapport.
You will already haveestablished, like you know, a
lot of times what stops peoplefrom getting help is just the
idea of it.
I don't know this person or Ifeel very introverted and you
know I don't know how to open upand you kind of do this mental
acrobatics thing.
But by reaching out in a timewhere it is very low stress,
(06:19):
things are actually going prettygood and maybe you just need
somebody to help you with yourperspective.
You need somebody who is comingfrom a biblical counseling
stance, from somebody who isgoing to help you stay grounded
in the word.
You need somebody to mentor,disciple you.
You're looking for somethinglike that that's going to be so
(06:39):
significant for you.
So hear what I'm saying.
However you get there, it'sgood.
However you get there, it'sgood.
But I want you to kind ofimagine what it would be like to
reframe that thinking, you know, like, why wait until you're in
a crisis mode?
I think that it's just a lot,it's a wisdom to know for, in a
(07:01):
practical sense, some thingsthat you might want to go ahead
and do is begin looking, evenright now, you know, looking in
your area for who is out there.
I had no idea.
When the Lord sent me into themarketplace to, he said you know
, looking in your area for whois out there, I had no idea.
When the Lord sent me into themarketplace to, he said.
He said he was very specificwith me.
He said you go and marketyourself as a spirit-filled,
spirit-led trauma therapist, aChristian trauma therapist.
(07:25):
You go out there and be boldabout it, that you are a
spirit-filled, spirit-ledChristian trauma therapist.
And he was also very bold aboutthe fact that in my marketing
that I need to really use a lotof images that represent the
people very diverse.
He wanted me to do that.
(07:47):
I had no idea why.
I just said, yes, lord, andcome to find out that, as I
launched out there in mycommunity and in my state, even
there's just not a lot ofAfrican-American, black
Christian counselors.
I was shocked.
Women, you know, there's justnot a lot.
And so one thing that I hearpeople say along the subject is
(08:10):
I hear ladies tell me like youknow, oh, I was looking and I
was searching and I was just soglad to find you, jimmy, and
that's so cool to hear and itjust has me, I don't know, just
encouraging you today to go anddo the same thing, go and do the
research.
Like you may not be necessarilyneeding to feel like you got to
speak with a therapist whonecessarily looks like you Like
(08:32):
sometimes that doesn't actuallymatter but it's so wise of you
to just kind of survey the landand see who's out there.
Okay, are there even counselorswho align with my beliefs out
there?
You don't want to wait untilyou're in a crisis moment and
(08:52):
then end up like sitting infront of anybody, because,
honestly, for Christians it canbe.
I'm not saying that if you goto a secular therapist that you
won't get the help.
I will be the first to raise myhand that I have seen several
therapists who do not identifythemselves as Christian.
They are secular and they havehelped me reach so much healing,
(09:16):
so much healing that justabsolutely would not have been
possible had I not gone thatroute.
But I will definitely tell youthat, as a believer, you will
only ever reach a certain levelof healing if you don't add
Jesus into the picture.
So if that is important for you, I would encourage you to
(09:37):
really like go and survey theland and see if you can find
Christian counselors, biblicalcounselors in your area.
I would encourage you to go toPsychology Today in your search
engine and type in your zip code, type in Christian counselor,
your zip code, type in biblicalcounselor.
Just see what pops up right.
(09:57):
You can also just go to Googleand search out biblical
counselors in your area,christian counselors in your
area, and just you know.
I just think it's so wise andit's so important.
I would also encourage you toask yourself some really good
questions.
Ask yourself, where am Istruggling to see growth in my
life?
And identify that area.
(10:18):
It could look different foreverybody.
For some it's going to be likeI'm struggling to see growth in
relationship.
I just can't get out of thisspecific relationship and there
are this specific kind ofrelationship.
I'm struggling there.
It could look different, right?
That's the question to askyourself, though, and ask the
Lord really, where am Istruggling to see growth in my
(10:39):
life?
I want you to ask how doesgetting help with this support
me?
How would getting help withthis?
How would seeking out acounselor, how could seeking out
a counselor or therapist who istrained in this?
How could that help me?
That's question number two, andquestion number three is what
(11:06):
happens if I don't get help?
What would happen?
And just think about thosequestions, journal those
questions out with the Lord, andI'm sure that as you do that,
you will come to your ownconclusion about if now is the
right time.
So, to recap, we talked abouthow to know when it's time to
(11:29):
get help.
You can wait until you're incrisis mode, but it's so much
better to go ahead and get thatline of support established when
things are already going well.
So I encourage you to go andsurvey the land, see what's
available in your area.
And so cool, because so much isvirtual nowadays.
(11:52):
At this time, my practice isonly virtual that's expanding
very soon locally, but there'sso much that you can access
literally from your smartphone.
So survey the land, then askyourself these questions, really
reflect on that.
And if you're like me and youwant scripture, I kind of saved
(12:13):
the best for last.
I probably should have startedwith this, but I want you to go
look at Exodus 18.
So this is for people who arelike I don't know, is it
biblical to get a counselor?
Is it even biblical?
Some people believe this, butit's not.
I want you to go look at Exodus, chapter 18, when Moses was in
(12:34):
trouble.
And what does he do?
He receives counsel from hisfather-in-law from his
father-in-law.
It is scriptural, it is wisdomto seek out counseling.
I want you to read about howMoses literally got advice from
Jethro.
Jethro.
(12:55):
His father-in-law was straightup like listen, this is not good
what you are doing.
We need someone who can speakto us like this.
Sometimes.
We just need that, because theLord already knows that at many
times we're not able to seeourselves very clearly, and so
he will send someone to us tospeak the truth and love.
So I pray that this blesses you.
(13:16):
If you already know in some waythat you need support and then
you live in the state ofMissouri, reach out to me.
You can go to graceabidesco,but it's even better if you just
slide through my DMs.
My Instagram handle is atjimmyslachelle.
I'll put all of that in theshow notes.
I want to pray for you before wewrap up, so let's do that now.
(13:40):
Heavenly Father, we just blessyour name.
I want to pray for the one whois contemplating.
If now's the time, lord, I knowthat you know them and that you
love this person and that youspeak to their hearts, and I
want to ask you to speak.
Speak to his heart or her heart.
Whoever is listening right now,lord God, I'm praying for the
(14:01):
masses, lord, but God islistening.
Right now, lord God, I'mpraying for the masses, lord,
but, god, I am seeing the oneand you always see the one, lord
Jesus.
I bless you, lord God, for thisone, and I ask you to give this
person the encouragement, givethem a burning on the inside of
their heart, lord Jesus, thatthey know that it is you calling
out to them, saying that it istime.
You said that you would neverleave us or forsake us, and that
(14:22):
means that when it is time toreach out for godly support and
godly counsel, lord God, thatyou will do it and you will do
it with them.
Bless you, father, in themighty name of Jesus Christ,
amen.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode.
We are going to be doing somany more of these bite-sized,
(14:43):
very easily actionable podcastepisodes for you because I want
you to not just be, you know,listening to this stuff for
entertainment, but I really wantyou to have this as a resource
to help change your life right.
So if you have certain topicsor anything like that that you
want to hear me speak on, youcan reach out to me.
Um, like I said, you can comethrough my, my DMs, instagram at
(15:06):
Jamice Lachelle.
In the meantime, I pray theLord will bless you and keep you
until we meet again.
Have you ever wondered how you determine when
it's time to stop trying to dostuff on your own and instead
hire out a professionalcounselor or therapist?
If you've ever had thosequestions, you definitely don't
want to miss this episode.
I think the answers areactually going to surprise you.
Well, hey there, welcome backto a new creation podcast where
(00:32):
we are pointing women towardsvictory in Christ, one Jesus
story at a time.
My name is Jameis Lachelle.
I am your host.
I'm a Christian traumatherapist.
Let's dive right in to today'sepisode.
Well, hey there, welcome back.
So we're doing something alittle different.
It's nothing that we haven'tseen or done here before on the
podcast, but this is just a soloepisode of me just yapping at
you.
A little bit more than that, Ihope, but I want to share about
(00:55):
this subject.
So recently I was invited toshare my insight and expertise
on my church podcast.
You can go look it up.
Shout out to the revolution.
You can go search out therevolution podcast, and we did
just a conversation about theintersection of faith and mental
health.
And there is a specificquestion that I was asked that I
(01:19):
cannot let go.
It's like the Lord will not letme turn loose this question.
I'm like man, I really need toexpound on that.
And so today, as you can seejudging by the title of the
episode, actually we clicked on.
We're talking about how to knowwhen it's time to seek out a
counselor.
(01:40):
And one second, because I amliterally just recording this on
the fly, let me turn off mynoisemakers.
Okay, my doorbell's going off.
Yeah, how do you know when it'stime to seek help?
How do you know when you needto reach out and hire a
counselor?
How do you even know that it'stime to do that?
Let's talk about it, but beforewe do, can we pray really quick
(02:01):
?
Heavenly Father, we thank youfor another opportunity to meet.
We thank you for anotheropportunity to pray.
God, I ask that you would blessmyself, bless the listener,
bless their ears, lord Jesus,and just let your will be done
in this episode.
I just pray that in Jesus'blessed name.
Amen.
For most people, if they answerthis question, how do you know
(02:24):
when it's time to go and hire aprofessional therapist or
professional counselor?
It's really going to depend onyour own specific worldview,
because some cultures are suchthat we just don't share our
dirty laundry, we just don'ttalk about it, and sadly, that
is the reason why so many of usneed therapy today, because
(02:45):
generation after generation haskind of perpetuated this silence
.
It's not healthy.
So there's that camp andthere's there's other camp where
it is very culturallyappropriate to seek out a
therapist.
I think that one of the commonbeliefs is that you go get a
therapist, you go hire atherapist because you're having
(03:08):
severe problems and you're notwrong.
Right, if that's the case,absolutely, when you are going
through something, when you aregoing through the storm, when
you think about even thedisciples on the boat right
during the storm, they werereally losing it and they
thought they were going to die.
And what did they do?
(03:29):
They went to the Lord.
I don't know that.
If you, you know, read thescriptures and just fully
execute the scriptures, werethey going to Jesus because they
wanted his counsel?
Or were they going to Jesus tocomplain a little bit about Lord
?
How could you be sleeping?
In any case, they knew thatthere was a need outside of
themselves.
They were in trouble, theyneeded something.
There's those times when you'rein the storm and I think that's
(03:51):
what most people think of.
They kind of wait until they'rein serious trouble.
They kind of wait until all theother things that they have
attempted to heal the situation.
Those things aren't workinganymore.
Sadly, sometimes it takes, youknow, falling into sin.
(04:12):
Falling into.
I'm going to try to drink thisaway, I'm going to try to numb
this away, I'm going to try toeat my feelings right, that's
very overlooked.
I'm going to try to shop thisaway when those things are no
longer working.
You know, I think most peoplemight say, okay, that's a great
indication that you might have abigger problem and you need to
go seek support, and that isabsolutely true.
But I would like to reframe ourway of approaching therapy in
(04:39):
the sense that why wait untilyou are in the middle of a storm
?
It is absolutely a thousandtimes better, if you will.
I say that in air quotes,because anytime you go and get
therapy for your problems, likeyou're winning already.
So but if you can go and getthat therapy initiated and if
(05:03):
you can go and make thatconnection with a good counselor
while things are actuallyalready going well, I'd say that
is actually the most ideal time, because it's so much easier to
reach out for your lifelinelike to reach out for help, to
pick up the phone when youalready have that bridge built
right.
I think a lot of times what endsup happening is we wait until
(05:27):
we are in the hot seat andyou're in crisis mode.
But like, the thing aboutcrises is you can quickly put
out the fire, but that crisishas burnt through so much of
your life.
If you can initiate the wisecounsel in your life, if you can
initiate that relationship whenthings are already going well,
(05:56):
that relationship when thingsare already going well, you're
in so much better positionbecause you will already have
established a rapport.
You will already haveestablished, like you know, a
lot of times what stops peoplefrom getting help is just the
idea of it.
I don't know this person or Ifeel very introverted and you
know I don't know how to open upand you kind of do this mental
acrobatics thing.
But by reaching out in a timewhere it is very low stress,
(06:19):
things are actually going prettygood and maybe you just need
somebody to help you with yourperspective.
You need somebody who is comingfrom a biblical counseling
stance, from somebody who isgoing to help you stay grounded
in the word.
You need somebody to mentor,disciple you.
You're looking for somethinglike that that's going to be so
(06:39):
significant for you.
So hear what I'm saying.
However you get there, it'sgood.
However you get there, it'sgood.
But I want you to kind ofimagine what it would be like to
reframe that thinking, you know, like, why wait until you're in
a crisis mode?
I think that it's just a lot,it's a wisdom to know for, in a
(07:01):
practical sense, some thingsthat you might want to go ahead
and do is begin looking, evenright now, you know, looking in
your area for who is out there.
I had no idea.
When the Lord sent me into themarketplace to, he said you know
, looking in your area for whois out there, I had no idea.
When the Lord sent me into themarketplace to, he said.
He said he was very specificwith me.
He said you go and marketyourself as a spirit-filled,
spirit-led trauma therapist, aChristian trauma therapist.
(07:25):
You go out there and be boldabout it, that you are a
spirit-filled, spirit-ledChristian trauma therapist.
And he was also very bold aboutthe fact that in my marketing
that I need to really use a lotof images that represent the
people very diverse.
He wanted me to do that.
(07:47):
I had no idea why.
I just said, yes, lord, andcome to find out that, as I
launched out there in mycommunity and in my state, even
there's just not a lot ofAfrican-American, black
Christian counselors.
I was shocked.
Women, you know, there's justnot a lot.
And so one thing that I hearpeople say along the subject is
(08:10):
I hear ladies tell me like youknow, oh, I was looking and I
was searching and I was just soglad to find you, jimmy, and
that's so cool to hear and itjust has me, I don't know, just
encouraging you today to go anddo the same thing, go and do the
research.
Like you may not be necessarilyneeding to feel like you got to
speak with a therapist whonecessarily looks like you Like
(08:32):
sometimes that doesn't actuallymatter but it's so wise of you
to just kind of survey the landand see who's out there.
Okay, are there even counselorswho align with my beliefs out
there?
You don't want to wait untilyou're in a crisis moment and
(08:52):
then end up like sitting infront of anybody, because,
honestly, for Christians it canbe.
I'm not saying that if you goto a secular therapist that you
won't get the help.
I will be the first to raise myhand that I have seen several
therapists who do not identifythemselves as Christian.
They are secular and they havehelped me reach so much healing,
(09:16):
so much healing that justabsolutely would not have been
possible had I not gone thatroute.
But I will definitely tell youthat, as a believer, you will
only ever reach a certain levelof healing if you don't add
Jesus into the picture.
So if that is important for you, I would encourage you to
(09:37):
really like go and survey theland and see if you can find
Christian counselors, biblicalcounselors in your area.
I would encourage you to go toPsychology Today in your search
engine and type in your zip code, type in Christian counselor,
your zip code, type in biblicalcounselor.
Just see what pops up right.
(09:57):
You can also just go to Googleand search out biblical
counselors in your area,christian counselors in your
area, and just you know.
I just think it's so wise andit's so important.
I would also encourage you toask yourself some really good
questions.
Ask yourself, where am Istruggling to see growth in my
life?
And identify that area.
(10:18):
It could look different foreverybody.
For some it's going to be likeI'm struggling to see growth in
relationship.
I just can't get out of thisspecific relationship and there
are this specific kind ofrelationship.
I'm struggling there.
It could look different, right?
That's the question to askyourself, though, and ask the
Lord really, where am Istruggling to see growth in my
(10:39):
life?
I want you to ask how doesgetting help with this support
me?
How would getting help withthis?
How would seeking out acounselor, how could seeking out
a counselor or therapist who istrained in this?
How could that help me?
That's question number two, andquestion number three is what
(11:06):
happens if I don't get help?
What would happen?
And just think about thosequestions, journal those
questions out with the Lord, andI'm sure that as you do that,
you will come to your ownconclusion about if now is the
right time.
So, to recap, we talked abouthow to know when it's time to
(11:29):
get help.
You can wait until you're incrisis mode, but it's so much
better to go ahead and get thatline of support established when
things are already going well.
So I encourage you to go andsurvey the land, see what's
available in your area.
And so cool, because so much isvirtual nowadays.
(11:52):
At this time, my practice isonly virtual that's expanding
very soon locally, but there'sso much that you can access
literally from your smartphone.
So survey the land, then askyourself these questions, really
reflect on that.
And if you're like me and youwant scripture, I kind of saved
(12:13):
the best for last.
I probably should have startedwith this, but I want you to go
look at Exodus 18.
So this is for people who arelike I don't know, is it
biblical to get a counselor?
Is it even biblical?
Some people believe this, butit's not.
I want you to go look at Exodus, chapter 18, when Moses was in
(12:34):
trouble.
And what does he do?
He receives counsel from hisfather-in-law from his
father-in-law.
It is scriptural, it is wisdomto seek out counseling.
I want you to read about howMoses literally got advice from
Jethro.
Jethro.
(12:55):
His father-in-law was straightup like listen, this is not good
what you are doing.
We need someone who can speakto us like this.
Sometimes.
We just need that, because theLord already knows that at many
times we're not able to seeourselves very clearly, and so
he will send someone to us tospeak the truth and love.
So I pray that this blesses you.
(13:16):
If you already know in some waythat you need support and then
you live in the state ofMissouri, reach out to me.
You can go to graceabidesco,but it's even better if you just
slide through my DMs.
My Instagram handle is atjimmyslachelle.
I'll put all of that in theshow notes.
I want to pray for you before wewrap up, so let's do that now.
(13:40):
Heavenly Father, we just blessyour name.
I want to pray for the one whois contemplating.
If now's the time, lord, I knowthat you know them and that you
love this person and that youspeak to their hearts, and I
want to ask you to speak.
Speak to his heart or her heart.
Whoever is listening right now,lord God, I'm praying for the
(14:01):
masses, lord, but God islistening.
Right now, lord God, I'mpraying for the masses, lord,
but, god, I am seeing the oneand you always see the one, lord
Jesus.
I bless you, lord God, for thisone, and I ask you to give this
person the encouragement, givethem a burning on the inside of
their heart, lord Jesus, thatthey know that it is you calling
out to them, saying that it istime.
You said that you would neverleave us or forsake us, and that
(14:22):
means that when it is time toreach out for godly support and
godly counsel, lord God, thatyou will do it and you will do
it with them.
Bless you, father, in themighty name of Jesus Christ,
amen.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode.
We are going to be doing somany more of these bite-sized,
(14:43):
very easily actionable podcastepisodes for you because I want
you to not just be, you know,listening to this stuff for
entertainment, but I really wantyou to have this as a resource
to help change your life right.
So if you have certain topicsor anything like that that you
want to hear me speak on, youcan reach out to me.
Um, like I said, you can comethrough my, my DMs, instagram at
(15:06):
Jamice Lachelle.
In the meantime, I pray theLord will bless you and keep you
until we meet again.
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